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married or attached
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By *omer47 OP Man
over a year ago
leigh |
hi all,i just wanted to know why it seems to be ok for married women to have fun on there own on here,but if your a married or attached man no one seems wants to know.is'nt that a case of double standards? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"who says its ok for married or attatched women?
it is just as much cheating for ladies as it would be for guys,in my opinion"
Agree!!
The women tend not to flaunt it by starting whinging threads though! |
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lmao !!! no one has ever said its acceptable for a woman to cheat on their spouse and not a guy !!!
only difference is guys generally dont care about a womans marital status aslong as they get a meet !! lol !! women in the main (i said in the main so not all !) are alil more choosey about meeting a guys whos cheating . |
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Surprising.
Maybe everyone has grown up and decided that what people do with their lives is their own business.
Maybe they now think that just because it doesnt meet with their own moral 'code' that doesnt mean they have to excoriate those whose lifestyle choices differ.
Maybe.
But on here?
I seriously fucking doubt it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"who says its ok for married or attatched women?
it is just as much cheating for ladies as it would be for guys,in my opinion
Agree!!
The women tend not to flaunt it by starting whinging threads though! "
Well said Sassy!
Read a lot of profiles since being on here and although there are some on the single female ones, the tell-tale signs of playing away from home is whether they can accommodate or not if they don't openly state it in there profile. Now I know there are other reasons for this before everyone starts shouting at me, but alarms bells do ring constantly when this comes up.
That said, if we had a msg from a single fem saying 'my husband doesn't know', then they are treated the same as the cheating male is.
It seems the cheating male or female thinks its going to be ok if they are honest from the start and for some it is I suppose as some don't really care what their marital status is, but males or females who are openly cheating will get a 'no thanks' from us.
We couldn't play with someone who is going behind spouses back and feel ok about it. We did once, right at the start when we were a bit wet behind the ears, and the wife didn't know but we both felt bloody awful after for ages so we decided not to again. I know I'd be riddled with guilt while their husband or wife are at home think their other half are working late or out with their friends. I know it sounds snobby but I like to think my standards are better than that. |
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"Surprising.
Maybe everyone has grown up and decided that what people do with their lives is their own business.
Maybe they now think that just because it doesnt meet with their own moral 'code' that doesnt mean they have to excoriate those whose lifestyle choices differ.
Maybe.
But on here?
I seriously fucking doubt it.
"
yes what ppl do is their own business .if person male or fem is upfrount that they are married/attached and playing away from home then ppl have the option weather they go eyes wide open into that situation . however as we all know lot of the ppl playing with out spouse or partners knowlege arent adult enough themseleves to be that honest and upfrount about situation . heard more than afew ppl who thought they were playing with single ppl and partner walks in or phones . no way anyone can excuse dragging innocent ppl into personal partnershiprelationhip issue like that ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Surprising.
Maybe everyone has grown up and decided that what people do with their lives is their own business.
Maybe they now think that just because it doesnt meet with their own moral 'code' that doesnt mean they have to excoriate those whose lifestyle choices differ.
Maybe.
But on here?
I seriously fucking doubt it.
"
it would be nice though wouldnt it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Surprising.
Maybe everyone has grown up and decided that what people do with their lives is their own business.
Maybe they now think that just because it doesnt meet with their own moral 'code' that doesnt mean they have to excoriate those whose lifestyle choices differ.
Maybe.
But on here?
I seriously fucking doubt it.
it would be nice though wouldnt it "
I think most people do think that way, the many threads I have read on this subject point to that being the case.
Most agree that it is only the business of those involved, those involved being, the person cheating, the person being cheated and the person(s) being brought into the equation by either meeting with the knowledge that the person they are seeing is cheating or, as in most cases being duped into meeting someone who is cheating because they are not honest about it and proclaim to be single.
It appears that it is the latter that bring about the conflict in discussions.
Our morals are for us to live with, if our morals are jeopardised by someone being dishonest then it is our business.
If cheats are honest about what they are doing then we have no problem with it, it's thier choice and we can easily avoid contact with them. |
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I'm a married woman and i have fun on my own on here.
The BIG difference is, my husband knows (and gets off on it!) and we don't try to fool anyone into thinking we're not married.
Theres the difference. No one is getting or going to get hurt. That's why it's OK for us.
*Her* |
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"Brilliant question and one that a lot of us have been dying to ask. "
and one that we will kindly answer...I don't think that it is right for men OR women to play away behind their partners back...I have turned down playing with both sexes on those grounds so no...people do not all think that it is ok for women to play away |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i dunno what i've been reading, but a similar thread to this (on the theme of "should someone admit to being single"), that also caused a huge stir this week had a split opinion of either not acceptable or not your busines....
....but the posters that said "not acceptable" said the same thing, that they didn't find it acceptable in either sex. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i dunno what i've been reading, but a similar thread to this (on the theme of "should someone admit to being single"), that also caused a huge stir this week had a split opinion of either not acceptable or not your busines....
....but the posters that said "not acceptable" said the same thing, that they didn't find it acceptable in either sex."
not sure I understand what your getting at, if some people said "not acceptable in either sex" surely they are just giving thier own view on it, that is an opinion, shared by many but not by all, they are not necessarily saying anything to those who do it but are simply saying that they see it as wrong and wouldn't do it themselves or knowingly take part in playing with anyone that does do it.
I dont think it's a case of sticking thier nose in someone else's business it's thier personal choice and opinion.
Of course there is the line that people cheating in the swinging scene and not using sites like "married and cheating" are bringing it into the general swinging lifestyle and bringing that lifestyle into disrepute (that's a devils advocate statement and not my personal view as my personal view is that those outside the scene that would see swinging as bad because some are cheating would see swinging as bad anyway) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i dunno what i've been reading, but a similar thread to this (on the theme of "should someone admit to being single"), that also caused a huge stir this week had a split opinion of either not acceptable or not your busines....
....but the posters that said "not acceptable" said the same thing, that they didn't find it acceptable in either sex.
not sure I understand what your getting at, if some people said "not acceptable in either sex" surely they are just giving thier own view on it, that is an opinion, shared by many but not by all, they are not necessarily saying anything to those who do it but are simply saying that they see it as wrong and wouldn't do it themselves or knowingly take part in playing with anyone that does do it.
I dont think it's a case of sticking thier nose in someone else's business it's thier personal choice and opinion.
Of course there is the line that people cheating in the swinging scene and not using sites like "married and cheating" are bringing it into the general swinging lifestyle and bringing that lifestyle into disrepute (that's a devils advocate statement and not my personal view as my personal view is that those outside the scene that would see swinging as bad because some are cheating would see swinging as bad anyway)"
my point was, the thread that everyone has been posting on this week regarding the same issue did not say it was ok for women and not for men, but it said that it was equally wrong for men and women, so i dont understand why the op is trying to say that this site condones womens actions and condems single men.
i made the comment regarding the other side of the argument where folk posted "it's none of your business" as not everyone condemed either party for it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Gotta remember that there is far more single men on here than single ladies so you are bound to come across more profiles of males saying they are married.
Hands up to those that admit it but having been in a sexually stale relationship in the past I would say better to have one final chance of rekindling the relationship before looking to the net for sex.
S. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm a married woman and i have fun on my own on here.
The BIG difference is, my husband knows (and gets off on it!) and we don't try to fool anyone into thinking we're not married.
Theres the difference. No one is getting or going to get hurt. That's why it's OK for us.
*Her*"
In reality then, you are not really cheating are you, you are almost like the couple i played with where she doesnt allow any contact between her partner and the 3rd wheel, the only difference is that your husband may or may not be present (you havent stated hence my comment) |
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"Surprising.
Maybe everyone has grown up and decided that what people do with their lives is their own business.
Maybe they now think that just because it doesnt meet with their own moral 'code' that doesnt mean they have to excoriate those whose lifestyle choices differ.
Maybe.
But on here?
I seriously fucking doubt it.
"
It's seriously wrong to be dishonest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont like dishonesty - swinging requires a great deal of trust and honesty, I think thats the only way it works - jeopardise that and you're in for a lot of sleepless nights I think  |
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By *andKCouple
over a year ago
Norfolk |
we get so many messages from 'single' men saying we want to be hinest and tell you we are married (then the reasons why they are playing behind their partners back) but hey if they cant be honest with their partners they already have a track record of dishonesty so can what they tell us be true? and why be 'honest' with a complete stranger but not your chosen partner?
K usually susses them out very quickly these days though |
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"we get so many messages from 'single' men saying we want to be hinest and tell you we are married (then the reasons why they are playing behind their partners back) but hey if they cant be honest with their partners they already have a track record of dishonesty so can what they tell us be true? and why be 'honest' with a complete stranger but not your chosen partner?
K usually susses them out very quickly these days though "
ok...k...can I message you when my bs0meter seems to be on the fritz so you can tell me if I am getting duped?lol |
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Yep… no difference, betraying your partner is betrayal regardless of sex.
Playing away with the permission and knowledge of the partner is not betrayal.
Now call this thread hijacking if you like but I think its relevant as it is specific to the swinging scene… in the vanilla world when one half of a partnership has an affair, quite often it can be accidental or incidental, meaning that sometimes things can get a bit stale and a friendship develops with a workmate or neighbour or such like and the classic ‘one thing leads to another’ might occur.
When the playing away types enter this scene there is no accident, it quite calculated and intentional. As genuine swingers are by default honest with their partner and at one with sexual matters it’s no wonder that sparks may fly when these opposites converge.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"we get so many messages from 'single' men saying we want to be hinest and tell you we are married (then the reasons why they are playing behind their partners back) but hey if they cant be honest with their partners they already have a track record of dishonesty so can what they tell us be true? and why be 'honest' with a complete stranger but not your chosen partner?
K usually susses them out very quickly these days though "
I usually just get that i am married, a bit about themselves but no reason why they are cheating on their wife, wonder why |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I usually just get that i am married, a bit about themselves but no reason why they are cheating on their wife, wonder why "
Maybe because they don't see swinging as being about telling people their life stories?? Just a thought!
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"I usually just get that i am married, a bit about themselves but no reason why they are cheating on their wife, wonder why
Maybe because they don't see swinging as being about telling people their life stories?? Just a thought!
"
Exactly.
IF we ever decided to play with married men, then we wouldn't need to know his life story, the same as we don't need to know the single mens life story who we play with now. |
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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago
Cyprus |
"hi all,i just wanted to know why it seems to be ok for married women to have fun on there own on here,but if your a married or attached man no one seems wants to know.is'nt that a case of double standards?"
It's not ok for either sex to cheat on their partner and pretend it's swinging.
There are NO double standards. It's just that, as usual, women keep their traps shut about their philandering ways and men gob off about it! |
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