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Funniest profile?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I must be in a fey mood - can't stop laughing at some of these profiles...can we vote on the funniest - I want to be in the top ten  "
Some are fucking hilarious but in a sad way so wont name them |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
Ah, but there is funny and there is funny.
There are the funny because they are optimistic:
No pics, single guy, blurb - 'here to shag'. That brings a smile, as I think, 'fine, but probably not many are here to shag you.'
The single 'female' with pics of well known media personalities or porn stars. They make me titter as they can't be real if they think no one would recognise Carol Vorderman.
The 18 year old nympho who is into everything and wants to shag the world, with status updates everyday about how horny they are and no verifications after 6 months.
The negative profiles, with no: gay/bi/trans/les/black/Asian/European/Cockney/Scouse/Geordie/Smokers/social smokers/once stood next to someone having one/over30/under25/ETC who will probably only meet 1 couple and then spend all night bitching about no one being genuine.
The profiles with badly photoshopped 18" cocks are funny.
The people with a straight profile and a bi profile, but with the same face pics on.
The chap with a composite profile made up of cock pics of several different people, not all of the same colour.
I think we could all name some that are funny, but not in the way intended |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think we could all name some that are funny, but not in the way intended "
I think there are two types (maybe more) of funny 1) because they are pathetic - okay, leave them alone to their sad lives, and 2) funny because they are just hilarious...I'm not sure how to tell the difference sometimes as more and more are just making me giggle rather than want to message someone.
I mean, what's the point in trying to talk to a woman that is so far up her own arse all you can see are her ankles?
She can't hear you!
And the number of massive cocks and heavy repeat cummers on here would make Pulse & Cocktails blush!
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Never ever give up trying. You may have just what they are looking for, unless they have explicitly ruled you out through their preferences.  "
I should have said this post is not a rant or a complaint - I'm just giggling away like a bastard as I browse around these profiles.
People can't spell, can't read, can't set preferences and bitch when they get get mail from unwanted people (HEY! Stop 99 year olds from messaging you, you fake! It's not rocket science.) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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very good, particularly liked your spoonerisms. I wonder though if you turned up at your 18 plus FF couples house and they said you've got 2 minutes while there pot noddle stews if you'd turn them away in disgust.  |
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By *issy louWoman
over a year ago
Staffordshire Moorlands |
I tried to add a bit of personality, a bit of humour, a bit of sarcasm.....
Sometimes wonder why I made the effort tho when I still get 'wot u up 2' type messages on a regular basis! Lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ah, but there is funny and there is funny.
There are the funny because they are optimistic:
No pics, single guy, blurb - 'here to shag'. That brings a smile, as I think, 'fine, but probably not many are here to shag you.'
The single 'female' with pics of well known media personalities or porn stars. They make me titter as they can't be real if they think no one would recognise Carol Vorderman.
The 18 year old nympho who is into everything and wants to shag the world, with status updates everyday about how horny they are and no verifications after 6 months.
The negative profiles, with no: gay/bi/trans/les/black/Asian/European/Cockney/Scouse/Geordie/Smokers/social smokers/once stood next to someone having one/over30/under25/ETC who will probably only meet 1 couple and then spend all night bitching about no one being genuine.
The profiles with badly photoshopped 18" cocks are funny.
The people with a straight profile and a bi profile, but with the same face pics on.
The chap with a composite profile made up of cock pics of several different people, not all of the same colour.
I think we could all name some that are funny, but not in the way intended "
Sarah x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I tried to add a bit of personality, a bit of humour, a bit of sarcasm.....
Sometimes wonder why I made the effort tho when I still get 'wot u up 2' type messages on a regular basis! Lol "
Exactly so we made ours more curt now!! The name shows we have a sense of humour |
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Some people get mine and and the humour and think it hilarious and others read it straight and think I'm arrogant. I've amended some to be more direct but the faqs are still a classic IMHO. I'm just a piss taking northerner, tek me as ya find me lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know i'm funny! The sight of me disrobed sends many a meet into bouts of hysterical laughter!!
Your profile should (and usually does - though some would wish it didn't!) reflect the type of person you are - so people can decide whether to message you based on your pics and text!
That said - i've met a guy with a string of gags on his profile who had a face like a smacked arse when we met up!! Ho hum xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I must be in a fey mood - can't stop laughing at some of these profiles...can we vote on the funniest - I want to be in the top ten "
Tina's is a very witty one so gets my vote! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I tried to make mine a bit nicer whilst still trying to say what type of person I'm looking for.
What your thoughts on it...?"
You like rimming? That was the main theme I got lol, errrrr been honest it's not high on the humour list but it's very informative on what you want and you have good photos |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I tried to make mine a bit nicer whilst still trying to say what type of person I'm looking for.
What your thoughts on it...?
You like rimming? That was the main theme I got lol, errrrr been honest it's not high on the humour list but it's very informative on what you want and you have good photos "
I love rimming, providing the hoop is fresh and free from ass pubes. Right give me a second then read it again ok? |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
"
That said - i've met a guy with a string of gags on his profile who had a face like a smacked arse when we met up!! Ho hum xxx"
My profile is a bit of a parody and is fairly entertaining and I like to think it reflects how I am in person |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"Some people get mine and and the humour and think it hilarious and others read it straight and think I'm arrogant. I've amended some to be more direct but the faqs are still a classic IMHO. I'm just a piss taking northerner, tek me as ya find me lol "
TL:DR.
Fancy a shag?
|
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"I tried to make mine a bit nicer whilst still trying to say what type of person I'm looking for.
What your thoughts on it...?
You like rimming? That was the main theme I got lol, errrrr been honest it's not high on the humour list but it's very informative on what you want and you have good photos
I love rimming, providing the hoop is fresh and free from ass pubes. Right give me a second then read it again ok?"
My main problems with your profile are:
a) I moved from Swansea in 2008
b) I don't have an 8" cock.
That is all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
That said - i've met a guy with a string of gags on his profile who had a face like a smacked arse when we met up!! Ho hum xxx
My profile is a bit of a parody and is fairly entertaining and I like to think it reflects how I am in person "
It does - and that's why we all like you so much! Xx |
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"I tried to make mine a bit nicer whilst still trying to say what type of person I'm looking for.
What your thoughts on it...?
You like rimming? That was the main theme I got lol, errrrr been honest it's not high on the humour list but it's very informative on what you want and you have good photos
I love rimming, providing the hoop is fresh and free from ass pubes. Right give me a second then read it again ok?"
Oh yes I love it too  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I tried to make mine a bit nicer whilst still trying to say what type of person I'm looking for.
What your thoughts on it...?"
I haven't got past the photo's yet -  |
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"Some people get mine and and the humour and think it hilarious and others read it straight and think I'm arrogant. I've amended some to be more direct but the faqs are still a classic IMHO. I'm just a piss taking northerner, tek me as ya find me lol
TL:DR.
Fancy a shag?
"
Send me a cock pic and I'll tell ya |
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"very good, particularly liked your spoonerisms. I wonder though if you turned up at your 18 plus FF couples house and they said you've got 2 minutes while there pot noddle stews if you'd turn them away in disgust. "
Bugger; I need to highlight my aversion to Pot Noodles. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I tried to make mine a bit nicer whilst still trying to say what type of person I'm looking for.
What your thoughts on it...?
You like rimming? That was the main theme I got lol, errrrr been honest it's not high on the humour list but it's very informative on what you want and you have good photos
I love rimming, providing the hoop is fresh and free from ass pubes. Right give me a second then read it again ok?
My main problems with your profile are:
a) I moved from Swansea in 2008
b) I don't have an 8" cock.
That is all. "
I haven't seen TL:DR since I was on a certain fitness forum, also writing "that is all" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I tried to make mine a bit nicer whilst still trying to say what type of person I'm looking for.
What your thoughts on it...?
You like rimming? That was the main theme I got lol, errrrr been honest it's not high on the humour list but it's very informative on what you want and you have good photos
I love rimming, providing the hoop is fresh and free from ass pubes. Right give me a second then read it again ok?
My main problems with your profile are:
a) I moved from Swansea in 2008
b) I don't have an 8" cock.
That is all.
I haven't seen TL:DR since I was on a certain fitness forum, also writing "that is all" "
A man with a spade in his head? Doug
Wasn't knocking your profile as it's very informative, just the thread is about humour and you'd not gone down that route that's all! With photos like yours I'm sure guys will be fine there's no humour, 99% are lead by their cock anyway lol |
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By *WcplCouple
over a year ago
Tameside |
I just dont get the cock photos with an aerosole can or other inanimate object at the side. They make me laugh sooo much and the latest kne I was unfortunate enough to glimpse was a cock at the sude of a 2litre carton of milk ...... Why ! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I just dont get the cock photos with an aerosole can or other inanimate object at the side. They make me laugh sooo much and the latest kne I was unfortunate enough to glimpse was a cock at the sude of a 2litre carton of milk ...... Why !"
Maybe it wasn't milk???
 |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
"Bizzare as it may sound on this site I try to review films in mine!
My username is pretty odd too "
You may wish to consider changing it to 'spoiler alert' as I now have no need to watch the new Gozilla film, even if I had before. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just dont get the cock photos with an aerosole can or other inanimate object at the side. They make me laugh sooo much and the latest kne I was unfortunate enough to glimpse was a cock at the sude of a 2litre carton of milk ...... Why !"
For about 5 years on many many sites where I've acquired guys numbers I've always asked for a picture of the guys willy on the flop and with wind in the sail and next to a sky remote. It's just so you can gauge the size accurately. A guy might have very muscular thighs and that may make his will look smaller, when it's as big as or longer than the sky remote you know it will be big. |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"Some people get mine and and the humour and think it hilarious and others read it straight and think I'm arrogant. I've amended some to be more direct but the faqs are still a classic IMHO. I'm just a piss taking northerner, tek me as ya find me lol
TL:DR.
Fancy a shag?
Send me a cock pic and I'll tell ya "
Shan't |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"I tried to make mine a bit nicer whilst still trying to say what type of person I'm looking for.
What your thoughts on it...?
You like rimming? That was the main theme I got lol, errrrr been honest it's not high on the humour list but it's very informative on what you want and you have good photos
I love rimming, providing the hoop is fresh and free from ass pubes. Right give me a second then read it again ok?
My main problems with your profile are:
a) I moved from Swansea in 2008
b) I don't have an 8" cock.
That is all.
I haven't seen TL:DR since I was on a certain fitness forum, also writing "that is all" "
I may also be on certain fitness forums.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I tried to make mine a bit nicer whilst still trying to say what type of person I'm looking for.
What your thoughts on it...?
You like rimming? That was the main theme I got lol, errrrr been honest it's not high on the humour list but it's very informative on what you want and you have good photos
I love rimming, providing the hoop is fresh and free from ass pubes. Right give me a second then read it again ok?
My main problems with your profile are:
a) I moved from Swansea in 2008
b) I don't have an 8" cock.
That is all.
I haven't seen TL:DR since I was on a certain fitness forum, also writing "that is all"
I may also be on certain fitness forums...."
TL:DR is pretty standard forum parlance isn't it? I've never graced a fitness forum in my life (obviously) but I've used it plenty in my time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I tried to make mine a bit nicer whilst still trying to say what type of person I'm looking for.
What your thoughts on it...?
You like rimming? That was the main theme I got lol, errrrr been honest it's not high on the humour list but it's very informative on what you want and you have good photos
I love rimming, providing the hoop is fresh and free from ass pubes. Right give me a second then read it again ok?
My main problems with your profile are:
a) I moved from Swansea in 2008
b) I don't have an 8" cock.
That is all.
I haven't seen TL:DR since I was on a certain fitness forum, also writing "that is all"
I may also be on certain fitness forums....
TL:DR is pretty standard forum parlance isn't it? I've never graced a fitness forum in my life (obviously) but I've used it plenty in my time. "
Erm - TL:DR?? Explain please?? Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I tried to make mine a bit nicer whilst still trying to say what type of person I'm looking for.
What your thoughts on it...?
You like rimming? That was the main theme I got lol, errrrr been honest it's not high on the humour list but it's very informative on what you want and you have good photos
I love rimming, providing the hoop is fresh and free from ass pubes. Right give me a second then read it again ok?
My main problems with your profile are:
a) I moved from Swansea in 2008
b) I don't have an 8" cock.
That is all.
I haven't seen TL:DR since I was on a certain fitness forum, also writing "that is all"
I may also be on certain fitness forums....
TL:DR is pretty standard forum parlance isn't it? I've never graced a fitness forum in my life (obviously) but I've used it plenty in my time.
Erm - TL:DR?? Explain please?? Xx"
Too long: didn't read |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Too long: didn't read "
This is not a comment on the poster - I didn't know what it meant either.
Is it just me or is that a sad comment on modern society?
I mean, you all want a "connection" but can't be arsed to read a profile FFS !
I'm beginning to prefer the honesty of the women that stipulate a massive cock. Shame I'll never meet them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't do funny
"
Really? As we're not here to have sex for love - then surely sex for fun/friendship is the next best thing? If you can't find fun/amusement/laughter on a site full of kinky, messed up fuckers like us - where CAN you find it??  xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I must be in a fey mood - can't stop laughing at some of these profiles...can we vote on the funniest - I want to be in the top ten "
Have you actually read your profile?
I think you will find you are already in the top 10 ....for all the wrong reasons.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We went for friendly rather than funny or aggressive profile. if we come across a profile that is aggressive or is just a rant, we just pass them by. But funny is always good. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One recently that got a genuine burst out laughing response from me was where a rather butch looking TV insisted on his profile that he was "only interested in meeting with straight guys"!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Have you actually read your profile?
I think you will find you are already in the top 10 ....for all the wrong reasons.
"
No I haven't read it - seriously?
I did write it though, so I suppose I must have read it - duh!
Or is that an oxymoron? |
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