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Cringey couple profiles
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Anyone ever read through the profile of a couple and cringed at the author's description of their other half?
Obviously we're all fond of our current squeeze but I reckon sometimes people get a little carried away.
I'll let you recover from the mental image of a single man reading a profile.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyone ever read through the profile of a couple and cringed at the author's description of their other half?
Obviously we're all fond of our current squeeze but I reckon sometimes people get a little carried away.
I'll let you recover from the mental image of a single man reading a profile.
"
Rose tinted glasses thats what it is I always wonder if they really mean it though or its to keep the other half happy. |
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"Anyone ever read through the profile of a couple and cringed at the author's description of their other half?
Obviously we're all fond of our current squeeze but I reckon sometimes people get a little carried away.
I'll let you recover from the mental image of a single man reading a profile.
Rose tinted glasses thats what it is I always wonder if they really mean it though or its to keep the other half happy."
haha
Could be beer goggles of course! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" hahaha is this bash the couples thread lol ....
Not at all!
You know the ones I mean, they think they have fillet steak when in reality they have a horse meat burger in a brioche bun.
"
Maybe they do have a fillet steak (in their opinion)?? 
People tend to get married for the whole package not just supermodel looks - if it were based purely on looks alone and not common interests, shared sense of humour etc then I'd be a male spinster all my life!
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" hahaha is this bash the couples thread lol ....
Not at all!
You know the ones I mean, they think they have fillet steak when in reality they have a horse meat burger in a brioche bun.
Maybe they do have a fillet steak (in their opinion)??
People tend to get married for the whole package not just supermodel looks - if it were based purely on looks alone and not common interests, shared sense of humour etc then I'd be a male spinster all my life!
"
True enough, not in any way trying to knock loving couples!
I just want to encourage objectivity, I really hate to talk myself up too much. |
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" hahaha is this bash the couples thread lol ....
Not at all!
You know the ones I mean, they think they have fillet steak when in reality they have a horse meat burger in a brioche bun.
"
I have to say this has rendered me speechless |
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" hahaha is this bash the couples thread lol ....
Not at all!
You know the ones I mean, they think they have fillet steak when in reality they have a horse meat burger in a brioche bun.
Maybe they do have a fillet steak (in their opinion)??
People tend to get married for the whole package not just supermodel looks - if it were based purely on looks alone and not common interests, shared sense of humour etc then I'd be a male spinster all my life!
True enough, not in any way trying to knock loving couples!
I just want to encourage objectivity, I really hate to talk myself up too much."
really!?
So your comparison to horsemeat was objective? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" hahaha is this bash the couples thread lol ....
Not at all!
You know the ones I mean, they think they have fillet steak when in reality they have a horse meat burger in a brioche bun.
"
And what culinary metaphor would you use to describe yourself? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" hahaha is this bash the couples thread lol ....
Not at all!
You know the ones I mean, they think they have fillet steak when in reality they have a horse meat burger in a brioche bun.
"
What a very strange thing to say!
Of course coupes have their fillet steak at home! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" hahaha is this bash the couples thread lol ....
Not at all!
You know the ones I mean, they think they have fillet steak when in reality they have a horse meat burger in a brioche bun.
And what culinary metaphor would you use to describe yourself?"
Marmite |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" hahaha is this bash the couples thread lol ....
Not at all!
You know the ones I mean, they think they have fillet steak when in reality they have a horse meat burger in a brioche bun.
I have to say this has rendered me speechless "
Not really. It's just a nasty, vindictive comment. |
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" hahaha is this bash the couples thread lol ....
Not at all!
You know the ones I mean, they think they have fillet steak when in reality they have a horse meat burger in a brioche bun.
I have to say this has rendered me speechless
Not really. It's just a nasty, vindictive comment. "
what is?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lol off to check our profile for cringeness  "
You say you're happily married - sorry, that's a bit too luvvie. Can you change it to something like 'we tolerate one another'?  |
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" hahaha is this bash the couples thread lol ....
Not at all!
You know the ones I mean, they think they have fillet steak when in reality they have a horse meat burger in a brioche bun.
Maybe they do have a fillet steak (in their opinion)??
People tend to get married for the whole package not just supermodel looks - if it were based purely on looks alone and not common interests, shared sense of humour etc then I'd be a male spinster all my life!
"
 |
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" hahaha is this bash the couples thread lol ....
Not at all!
You know the ones I mean, they think they have fillet steak when in reality they have a horse meat burger in a brioche bun.
And what culinary metaphor would you use to describe yourself?"
It'd have to be something quite fatty.
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" hahaha is this bash the couples thread lol ....
Not at all!
You know the ones I mean, they think they have fillet steak when in reality they have a horse meat burger in a brioche bun.
What a very strange thing to say!
Of course coupes have their fillet steak at home! "
I love brioche |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lol off to check our profile for cringeness
You say you're happily married - sorry, that's a bit too luvvie. Can you change it to something like 'we tolerate one another'? "
Ok sorry |
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" hahaha is this bash the couples thread lol ....
Not at all!
You know the ones I mean, they think they have fillet steak when in reality they have a horse meat burger in a brioche bun.
Maybe they do have a fillet steak (in their opinion)??
People tend to get married for the whole package not just supermodel looks - if it were based purely on looks alone and not common interests, shared sense of humour etc then I'd be a male spinster all my life!
True enough, not in any way trying to knock loving couples!
I just want to encourage objectivity, I really hate to talk myself up too much.
really!?
So your comparison to horsemeat was objective?"
No I was trying to explain what I meant. |
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" hahaha is this bash the couples thread lol ....
Not at all!
You know the ones I mean, they think they have fillet steak when in reality they have a horse meat burger in a brioche bun.
Maybe they do have a fillet steak (in their opinion)??
People tend to get married for the whole package not just supermodel looks - if it were based purely on looks alone and not common interests, shared sense of humour etc then I'd be a male spinster all my life!
True enough, not in any way trying to knock loving couples!
I just want to encourage objectivity, I really hate to talk myself up too much.
really!?
So your comparison to horsemeat was objective?
No I was trying to explain what I meant."
I see.
These people aren't talking themselves up, they're talking the people they love up which is sort of what you do when you love someone. |
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" hahaha is this bash the couples thread lol ....
Not at all!
You know the ones I mean, they think they have fillet steak when in reality they have a horse meat burger in a brioche bun.
What a very strange thing to say!
Of course coupes have their fillet steak at home!
I love brioche "
so do I but I like mine to have chocolate in it not horsemeat. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think that sometimes with couples new to the scene they're dipping a toe into unknown territory and going to be sharing the thing they love the most
Maybe their declarations of love for each other are like a little warning to other people and a security blanket for themselves that they're solid and not in this because something is wrong in the relationship |
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"I think that sometimes with couples new to the scene they're dipping a toe into unknown territory and going to be sharing the thing they love the most
Maybe their declarations of love for each other are like a little warning to other people and a security blanket for themselves that they're solid and not in this because something is wrong in the relationship "
yeap Agree... And lets face it, as a couple swinging , they have to be tight together to survive all those that can't grasp the dynamics |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" hahaha is this bash the couples thread lol ....
Not at all!
You know the ones I mean, they think they have fillet steak when in reality they have a horse meat burger in a brioche bun. Burger is better than popcorn in a five finger bag
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" hahaha is this bash the couples thread lol ....
Not at all!
You know the ones I mean, they think they have fillet steak when in reality they have a horse meat burger in a brioche bun.
And what culinary metaphor would you use to describe yourself?
Marmite "
I don't like marmite though  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" hahaha is this bash the couples thread lol ....
Not at all!
You know the ones I mean, they think they have fillet steak when in reality they have a horse meat burger in a brioche bun.
"
Yes I had noticed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" hahaha is this bash the couples thread lol ....
Not at all!
You know the ones I mean, they think they have fillet steak when in reality they have a horse meat burger in a brioche bun.
And what culinary metaphor would you use to describe yourself?
Marmite
I don't like marmite though "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Having read all this, the one conclusion I'm certain about is the fact I really want a horsemeat burger now.
Not the sub par wife type, like minced up horse in a bun......damn this countrys sensibilities and lack of horse as a food substance! |
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By *aywalton1Man
over a year ago
Walton on the Hill |
"Is there anything people don't have a problem with on Fab!
I have a problem with you asking if there's anything people don't have a problem with "
I have a problem with you having a problem with me asking if there's anything people don't have a problem with. .. I think! This could get confusing! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find it rather cringy when couples describe each other...
"Rosie is a stunning.../gives the best head ever!"
"Jim is the total man/Loves to please..."
Just... eurgh. I can understand why describing each other is good for your -own- self esteem, but it hardly does a good job of advertising, does it?
Just reeks of forced compliments and verbose details. I'd rather you both be honest about yourself!
(Also, when the male writes on the female's behalf. It's very obvious.) |
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"Is there anything people don't have a problem with on Fab!
I have a problem with you asking if there's anything people don't have a problem with
I have a problem with you having a problem with me asking if there's anything people don't have a problem with. .. I think! This could get confusing! "
To be honest I just have a.problem |
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By *aywalton1Man
over a year ago
Walton on the Hill |
"Is there anything people don't have a problem with on Fab!
I have a problem with you asking if there's anything people don't have a problem with
I have a problem with you having a problem with me asking if there's anything people don't have a problem with. .. I think! This could get confusing!
To be honest I just have a.problem "
They have ointments for that!  |
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"Is there anything people don't have a problem with on Fab!
I have a problem with you asking if there's anything people don't have a problem with
I have a problem with you having a problem with me asking if there's anything people don't have a problem with. .. I think! This could get confusing!
To be honest I just have a.problem
They have ointments for that! "
so they tell me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is there anything people don't have a problem with on Fab!
You got a problem with that?
Yes, you have a problem with me having a problem with that! "
I got 99 problems.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" hahaha is this bash the couples thread lol ....
Not at all!
You know the ones I mean, they think they have fillet steak when in reality they have a horse meat burger in a brioche bun.
And what culinary metaphor would you use to describe yourself?
Marmite
I don't like marmite though
"
I like Mr Marmite though so it's ok |
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By *aywalton1Man
over a year ago
Walton on the Hill |
"Is there anything people don't have a problem with on Fab!
I have a problem with you asking if there's anything people don't have a problem with
I have a problem with you having a problem with me asking if there's anything people don't have a problem with. .. I think! This could get confusing!
To be honest I just have a.problem
They have ointments for that!
so they tell me."
You can borrow mine, very effective! |
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By *aywalton1Man
over a year ago
Walton on the Hill |
"Is there anything people don't have a problem with on Fab!
You got a problem with that?
Yes, you have a problem with me having a problem with that!
I got 99 problems.... "
They don't have ointments for that many! |
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By *aywalton1Man
over a year ago
Walton on the Hill |
"Is there anything people don't have a problem with on Fab!
You got a problem with that?
Yes, you have a problem with me having a problem with that!
I got 99 problems.... "
Just a thought. Was one of your number 9s upside down? If you're having problems with the 69, I know a helpful chap who would be able to offer some assistance! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Having read all this, the one conclusion I'm certain about is the fact I really want a horsemeat burger now.
Not the sub par wife type, like minced up horse in a bun......damn this countrys sensibilities and lack of horse as a food substance! "
Don't bother with the burger, have a horsemeat steak , really rare with garlicky mash potatoes and a Spanish red. Yummy |
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"Anyone ever read through the profile of a couple and cringed at the author's description of their other half?
Obviously we're all fond of our current squeeze but I reckon sometimes people get a little carried away.
I'll let you recover from the mental image of a single man reading a profile.
"
. Can't see any harm in getting carried away. Better to be kind than criticise . In any event people can form their own opinion from both the pictures and how the profile is written. At least they have made the effort to put a few words into it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Having read all this, the one conclusion I'm certain about is the fact I really want a horsemeat burger now.
Not the sub par wife type, like minced up horse in a bun......damn this countrys sensibilities and lack of horse as a food substance!
Don't bother with the burger, have a horsemeat steak , really rare with garlicky mash potatoes and a Spanish red. Yummy "
That sounds amazing just now! Shame about the lack of availability though...of horse steak that is...not mash or Spanish red....I'm pretty sure I could achieve both of those no problem |
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"Having read all this, the one conclusion I'm certain about is the fact I really want a horsemeat burger now.
Not the sub par wife type, like minced up horse in a bun......damn this countrys sensibilities and lack of horse as a food substance!
Don't bother with the burger, have a horsemeat steak , really rare with garlicky mash potatoes and a Spanish red. Yummy "
I've heard horse is a bit like beef but slightly sweeter? could you confirm or deny this?
I've almost certainly eaten horse unwittingly but that was of course in burger form! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well we have one of those profiles haha.
Its not forced compliments or written to give either of us an ego boost, its there to let people know what the other does for us, it is also possible to have a loving perfect relationship and be on a site like this, just because you join a site like this doesnt mean you have some problem with your sex life. We joined so we could share people together not get something we lack from the other.
I like to read what couples have to say about each other, its interesting to me.
Miss Jay |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This thread is obviously tongue in cheek ... however remember one size does not fit all. Some people (Mr) are turned on by a mummy tummy others are put off their lunch ... what a couple see in each other might not be what the next person/couple sees ... that is why we swingers are such a diverse "community".
I believe, we (swingers) of all people, should be tolerant to other peoples' views, likes and tastes ..
Live and let live ...
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"This thread is obviously tongue in cheek ... however remember one size does not fit all. Some people (Mr) are turned on by a mummy tummy others are put off their lunch ... what a couple see in each other might not be what the next person/couple sees ... that is why we swingers are such a diverse "community".
I believe, we (swingers) of all people, should be tolerant to other peoples' views, likes and tastes ..
Live and let live ...
"
I believe that too but I can honestly say that the community that I've come across in the forums contains some of the least tolerant people I have ever spoken to. It does also contain some very open minded and accepting individuals thank goodness. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sooner see a cringey profile rather than one where one or the other of the couple have an obvious lack of respect for their partner."
This
Some actually do talk about their other half like they are a bit of meat.
Heavens, hope ours isn't too cringy. |
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"Sooner see a cringey profile rather than one where one or the other of the couple have an obvious lack of respect for their partner.
This
Some actually do talk about their other half like they are a bit of meat.
Heavens, hope ours isn't too cringy. "
Haven't read it but if it suits you and its working then you must have got it about right |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sooner see a cringey profile rather than one where one or the other of the couple have an obvious lack of respect for their partner.
This
Some actually do talk about their other half like they are a bit of meat.
Heavens, hope ours isn't too cringy.
Haven't read it but if it suits you and its working then you must have got it about right "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sooner see a cringey profile rather than one where one or the other of the couple have an obvious lack of respect for their partner.
This
Some actually do talk about their other half like they are a bit of meat.
Heavens, hope ours isn't too cringy. "
Yes they talk about their wives as if they are pieces of meat or prize cows. |
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" hahaha is this bash the couples thread lol ....
Not at all!
You know the ones I mean, they think they have fillet steak when in reality they have a horse meat burger in a brioche bun.
I have to say this has rendered me speechless
Not really. It's just a nasty, vindictive comment. "
You might need to check your understanding of the word vindictive. |
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"We have changed it. It's got to be the best profile on fab. Lol
Comments would be good. Hehe"
LOL
It was better before you changed it!
My head is also far too bald but I don't suffer from being too tall. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It is a bit cattle markety.
We find it difficult to know what to write on our profile other than what we like and what we don't.
It's not the sort of thing we are practiced in, it's not often I say " Hi, I'm Fox, average length but large girth, trimmed, uncut and has staying power and this is my wife Vixen, large nipples, bi and can squirt if aroused enough ", that sort of introduction would probably get scratched out in the minutes of a parish council meeting.
So being unversed in selling ourselves sexually we,and others, are bound to boob.
Is there a recognised formula?.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have changed it. It's got to be the best profile on fab. Lol
Comments would be good. Hehe
Sorry, looks a bit fake to me. No-one is that honest! "
We here a lot of people bring accused of being fake on the forums but we never have. Came across a few though.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
It is a bit cattle markety.
We find it difficult to know what to write on our profile other than what we like and what we don't.
It's not the sort of thing we are practiced in, it's not often I say " Hi, I'm Fox, average length but large girth, trimmed, uncut and has staying power and this is my wife Vixen, large nipples, bi and can squirt if aroused enough ", that sort of introduction would probably get scratched out in the minutes of a parish council meeting.
So being unversed in selling ourselves sexually we,and others, are bound to boob.
Is there a recognised formula?.
"
No sounds about right, not cattle market at all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
It is a bit cattle markety.
We find it difficult to know what to write on our profile other than what we like and what we don't.
It's not the sort of thing we are practiced in, it's not often I say " Hi, I'm Fox, average length but large girth, trimmed, uncut and has staying power and this is my wife Vixen, large nipples, bi and can squirt if aroused enough ", that sort of introduction would probably get scratched out in the minutes of a parish council meeting.
So being unversed in selling ourselves sexually we,and others, are bound to boob.
Is there a recognised formula?.
"
Our formula is to go to a club and sit around until someone chats us up. It always works. That's why we arnt bothered about our profile. We never meet off fab. We invited 6 guys out with us once. None turned up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
It is a bit cattle markety.
We find it difficult to know what to write on our profile other than what we like and what we don't.
It's not the sort of thing we are practiced in, it's not often I say " Hi, I'm Fox, average length but large girth, trimmed, uncut and has staying power and this is my wife Vixen, large nipples, bi and can squirt if aroused enough ", that sort of introduction would probably get scratched out in the minutes of a parish council meeting.
So being unversed in selling ourselves sexually we,and others, are bound to boob.
Is there a recognised formula?.
Our formula is to go to a club and sit around until someone chats us up. It always works. That's why we arnt bothered about our profile. We never meet off fab. We invited 6 guys out with us once. None turned up. "
If we sat around in a club waiting for someone to chat us up it would probably be a rep for Stanna Stairlifts  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" hahaha is this bash the couples thread lol ....
Not at all!
You know the ones I mean, they think they have fillet steak when in reality they have a horse meat burger in a brioche bun.
"
Lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I love our profile and love my much better half dearly , I just like to watch her make love, lol, to others at the cheapest hotel price possible."
Make love??? Hhhmmmm surly you mean fuck,, although I suppoose each to there own, but I wouldn't make love to somebody I don't know I fuck them haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" hahaha is this bash the couples thread lol ....
Not at all!
You know the ones I mean, they think they have fillet steak when in reality they have a horse meat burger in a brioche bun.
"
...in your opinion. |
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" hahaha is this bash the couples thread lol ....
Not at all!
You know the ones I mean, they think they have fillet steak when in reality they have a horse meat burger in a brioche bun.
...in your opinion. "
What else could it be? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" hahaha is this bash the couples thread lol ....
Not at all!
You know the ones I mean, they think they have fillet steak when in reality they have a horse meat burger in a brioche bun.
And what culinary metaphor would you use to describe yourself?
Marmite
I don't like marmite though
I like Mr Marmite though so it's ok "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Well we have one of those profiles haha.
Its not forced compliments or written to give either of us an ego boost, its there to let people know what the other does for us, it is also possible to have a loving perfect relationship and be on a site like this, just because you join a site like this doesnt mean you have some problem with your sex life. We joined so we could share people together not get something we lack from the other.
I like to read what couples have to say about each other, its interesting to me.
Miss Jay"
Your profile kinda answers for me the question I have asked on another thread.. and this thread I guess is kinda the opposite of mine.
I would love to write on mine what I really think.. but no guy would bother meeting if he thought that he couldnt measure up... but I dont think anyone ever can measure up to a regular partner be it sexual or lifetime xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Cringey and proud. There is no point us pretending to be something we are not. Especially on here! So sorry if we offend you Mr OP, but we are just so completely in love it's ridiculous |
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