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what am i doing wrong?

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

hi guys, im having trouble getting to know people/meeting with them... im not fussed even if we just have long chats first. The women/couples just seem to read my messages and not reply or just delete them. is it because im just a young guy or my profile is a bit uninteresting?

thanks

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

"what am I doing wrong" ..... Whinging for a start

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

You have one verification & have only been on the site 4 months so not a bad start.

Have a look at the 100's of other similar threads dotted around the forums & see if you can pick up some tips.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Your profile is just a bit "meh". Personally if you sent me a message and then I read your profile I wouldn't bother replying. There are hundreds of profiles, all like yours, no information, no decent photos, nothing interesting.

Sorry if that's too blunt.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


""what am I doing wrong" ..... Whinging for a start"
.... Omfg he was only asking a Q jeeez some ppl * rolling eyes*

*Sits on coffin*

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Your profile is just a bit "meh". Personally if you sent me a message and then I read your profile I wouldn't bother replying. There are hundreds of profiles, all like yours, no information, no decent photos, nothing interesting.

Sorry if that's too blunt."

ha ha nah, its ok, yeah, i guess it is a bit bland lol, i just thought about the pics if i put a face pic there i'd be worried about the discression side and maybe just maybe someone i know might find out ha ha. i do send my private pics (face pics etc) im the messages though as i know my profile ones are'nt that good.

how could i make it more interesting? (from a womans poing of view)?

thanks

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By *umpkinMan  over a year ago

near the sounds of the wimborne quarter jack!


"hi guys, im having trouble getting to know people/meeting with them... im not fussed even if we just have long chats first. The women/couples just seem to read my messages and not reply or just delete them. is it because im just a young guy or my profile is a bit uninteresting?

thanks"

Form one single male to another - you have a major problem. You are a single male. There are far too many of us around and you should know that the worst thing you can do to a woman ... give her a choice!

*runs and hides!*

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


""what am I doing wrong" ..... Whinging for a start.... Omfg he was only asking a Q jeeez some ppl * rolling eyes*

*Sits on coffin*"

ha ha cheers!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


""what am I doing wrong" ..... Whinging for a start.... Omfg he was only asking a Q jeeez some ppl * rolling eyes*

*Sits on coffin*

ha ha cheers!"

.... Your welcome

*sits on coffin*

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"hi guys, im having trouble getting to know people/meeting with them... im not fussed even if we just have long chats first. The women/couples just seem to read my messages and not reply or just delete them. is it because im just a young guy or my profile is a bit uninteresting?

thanks

Form one single male to another - you have a major problem. You are a single male. There are far too many of us around and you should know that the worst thing you can do to a woman ... give her a choice!

*runs and hides!*"

ha ha maybe its because some of the 'single males' BS and lie about things, even say they are a couple! and just spoil it for the genuine guys? this probably isn't the total reason but im sure it doesn't help...

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By *b430Man  over a year ago

Tayside


""what am I doing wrong" ..... Whinging for a start.... Omfg he was only asking a Q jeeez some ppl * rolling eyes*

*Sits on coffin*"

And they were only giving their answer!

Why is it ok for you to give the answer you did to their post but not ok for them to give their answer to the OP?

Everyone will have differing opinions to all posts on here, not just this one and should be allowed to express them. Just my opinion though!

*Sits on sofa*

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By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)  over a year ago

birmingham

Delete the warning text within your profile, it means nothing and replace it with what you're looking for and what you can offer.

Some people prefer to just shag & go others prefer to have a conversation / shag / conversation then go get the idea?

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By *abioMan  over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

time... patience... common sense...

I am not going to offer you any more advice than the very first line... read, study, take it in......

because in the end if you do your due diligence then you tend not to have to ask "where ya going wrong" it says to me that you don't "get it" as such........

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By *aucy3Couple  over a year ago

glasgow


""what am I doing wrong" ..... Whinging for a start.... Omfg he was only asking a Q jeeez some ppl * rolling eyes*

*Sits on coffin*

And they were only giving their answer!

Why is it ok for you to give the answer you did to their post but not ok for them to give their answer to the OP?

Everyone will have differing opinions to all posts on here, not just this one and should be allowed to express them. Just my opinion though!

*Sits on sofa* "

it could be possible,that was her opinion,of other peoples opinions.

sits on arse

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Lucas,

As a fellow single male, the best bit of advice I can offer you is .... dont ask for advice

I cant speak for all the other members on here but if your asking for advice on how best to sell yourself, then an updated profile based on advice given, may not be a true reflection of you and your personality?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

* Gets bk in coffin *

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Lucas,

As a fellow single male, the best bit of advice I can offer you is .... dont ask for advice

I cant speak for all the other members on here but if your asking for advice on how best to sell yourself, then an updated profile based on advice given, may not be a true reflection of you and your personality?"

nah, i'd agree with you if people were spoon feeding me with what to put in my profile and i went and did it... but they arn't and im not looking to be spoon fed... i was just looking for the more experienced swingers to give tips, like editing my photos, puting what i have to offer and what im interested in etc (thanks guys). the best way to learn/ get further is to ask questions! this is what forums are for right?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"hi guys, im having trouble getting to know people/meeting with them... im not fussed even if we just have long chats first. The women/couples just seem to read my messages and not reply or just delete them. is it because im just a young guy or my profile is a bit uninteresting?

thanks"

You are young at 21, many people wonder why the hell you're not out pulling in pubs and clubs like most 21 year olds.

You are a single male, there's plenty to choose from so you have to make an impression, really stand out.

You have no pictures on your profile.

Also depends on your way of messaging, it may put people off or catch their eye.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"hi guys, im having trouble getting to know people/meeting with them... im not fussed even if we just have long chats first. The women/couples just seem to read my messages and not reply or just delete them. is it because im just a young guy or my profile is a bit uninteresting?

thanks

You are young at 21, many people wonder why the hell you're not out pulling in pubs and clubs like most 21 year olds.

You are a single male, there's plenty to choose from so you have to make an impression, really stand out.

You have no pictures on your profile.

Also depends on your way of messaging, it may put people off or catch their eye."

ahh sh*t! i thought i had pics in my profile lol, dont know where they went! i'll get on it!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"hi guys, im having trouble getting to know people/meeting with them... im not fussed even if we just have long chats first. The women/couples just seem to read my messages and not reply or just delete them. is it because im just a young guy or my profile is a bit uninteresting?

thanks

You are young at 21, many people wonder why the hell you're not out pulling in pubs and clubs like most 21 year olds.

You are a single male, there's plenty to choose from so you have to make an impression, really stand out.

You have no pictures on your profile.

Also depends on your way of messaging, it may put people off or catch their eye.

ahh sh*t! i thought i had pics in my profile lol, dont know where they went! i'll get on it!"

lol, in your private gallery they are.

There are three options for pics, any site member - places them in open gallery, anyone can see.

Only friends - places them in your private gallery, only those on your friends list can see.

Private, you can still send by pm - as it states, nobody can see them, but you can send them via private message if you so choose to do.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"hi guys, im having trouble getting to know people/meeting with them... im not fussed even if we just have long chats first. The women/couples just seem to read my messages and not reply or just delete them. is it because im just a young guy or my profile is a bit uninteresting?

thanks

You are young at 21, many people wonder why the hell you're not out pulling in pubs and clubs like most 21 year olds.

You are a single male, there's plenty to choose from so you have to make an impression, really stand out.

You have no pictures on your profile.

Also depends on your way of messaging, it may put people off or catch their eye.

ahh sh*t! i thought i had pics in my profile lol, dont know where they went! i'll get on it!

lol, in your private gallery they are.

There are three options for pics, any site member - places them in open gallery, anyone can see.

Only friends - places them in your private gallery, only those on your friends list can see.

Private, you can still send by pm - as it states, nobody can see them, but you can send them via private message if you so choose to do.

"

ha ha yeah i know lol, for some reason when i updated them i must've not saved the settings or something lol. thanks for pointing it out to me though!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I think you are ALL right. ~sits on fence~

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 21/07/10 20:44:35]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Hi,

Your profile is fine by me. It's straight to the point and not full of furry false shit like most.

You are too young for me.

I am too old for you taking the age limits of your profile.

You have that stupid warning on your profile which for me shows a sheep like mind. Anyone with the ability to think can see it is a very silly waste of space , a joke and a myth.

You can't accomodate. So where would you want sex ?

Those are the reasons I'd reply with a no thanks..... IF I was in your age range.

Bye xx Gran xx

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By *aintmikeMan  over a year ago

glasgow

my advice,, be patient ,,i was told this in the beginning,,all good things come to he who waits,, play it cool.

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By *ickens CiderMan  over a year ago

taunton


""what am I doing wrong" ..... Whinging for a start.... Omfg he was only asking a Q jeeez some ppl * rolling eyes*

*Sits on coffin*"

slide along a bit I'll join you on your coffin on this one... The guy hasn't whinged he asked some questions... If the subject he has raised annoys you... Then why not be radical and not post!!

If you educate the guy his profile will improve and then you can't whinge about endless post about guys not getting anywhere... the circle has to be broken... I'd say there perhaps should be a proper FAQ section with example of good and bad to tutor newbies... Mind you that would dry up the source material for the whinge oldies...

If you don't ask questions in life you don't get anywhere hey! Give the guy a break!!!

Another thought... maybe you could become a mentor instead and message the guys or girls you so fear will message you with their crap profiles... Fab Mentors that could be a new thing hey...

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By *ugby 123Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

Sorry Dickens as I am going to be blunt now.

We are on here to have fun not nurse maid anyone who complains when they don't get meets as fast as they would like or that their mails are being ignored.

There are a few FAQ answers at the bottom of the page plus plenty of advice and tips all over the forums,but you can't force people to read it.

On another note, I have had to take off a couple of posts, if you want to comment or give advice, thats great, but don't attack the OP when doing so please.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Nothing constructive to add and got no reason to diss the OP so will just ....

Put a whoopee cushion in Goth's coffin before she gets back in to it.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


""what am I doing wrong" ..... Whinging for a start.... Omfg he was only asking a Q jeeez some ppl * rolling eyes*

*Sits on coffin*"

You know something gothic, you're absolutely right and my remarks being first on the thread after the OP's question was a bit harsh as he comes across as a nice guy so to him, good luck and I take it all back. Xxx

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By *umourCouple  over a year ago

Rushden

[Removed by poster at 21/07/10 23:11:41]

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By *umourCouple  over a year ago

Rushden

At 21 you are way too young for a lot of couples and single ladies on here. No doubt someone will come back and say you are not, but they will be in a minority! Not only that, but you will be with a very large chasing pack...

As someone said further up this thread, you should be out pulling in pubs and clubs. Swinging aint easy for single guys no matter where you put your profile!

BUT... Read profiles properly and don't mail those that are not looking for you! Pay attention to the age range people have on their profiles, it is generally there for a reason. And when you do get a meet, make sure that your cock works! (our biggest problem with single guys and why we don't meet em any more!)

And we wish you well in your search...

"Sits in car and revs engine"

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


""what am I doing wrong" ..... Whinging for a start.... Omfg he was only asking a Q jeeez some ppl * rolling eyes*

*Sits on coffin*

You know something gothic, you're absolutely right and my remarks being first on the thread after the OP's question was a bit harsh as he comes across as a nice guy so to him, good luck and I take it all back. Xxx"

cheers matey! good luck to you too!

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By *ickens CiderMan  over a year ago

taunton


"Sorry Dickens as I am going to be blunt now.

We are on here to have fun not nurse maid anyone who complains when they don't get meets as fast as they would like or that their mails are being ignored.

There are a few FAQ answers at the bottom of the page plus plenty of advice and tips all over the forums,but you can't force people to read it.

On another note, I have had to take off a couple of posts, if you want to comment or give advice, thats great, but don't attack the OP when doing so please."

I certainly wasn't having a go at the OP... Sorry if anybody read it that way? Huh... I was trying to diss the unhelpful comment which the guy got hit with at the start... loads of people have advised the guy well... giveN some good pointers and tips here...

When I said don't post then... it was aimed at those that grumb at threads of this nature.... time and time again... it is slightly heartless and disheartening for newbies... and more so for the guys new to here... a newbie woman it's the complete opposite I guess? pestered with the out numbering guys all trying their luck... I was trying to agree with Goth in saying give the guy a break... see there's no disclaimer when you sign up... guys be prepared to wait sometime before your first meet... ladies you'll have a meet.. sorry numerous meets within 24hrs if you want? An I don't know what the score would be for couples honestly? The nice single women that I do chat with have expanded the shear volume of mail they do get... Daily?! So there is a divide and as much as there is different uses of the site by different members the couples to couples is really what it's about surely... Then the couples possible then are happier with couples and single woman...even stevens approach to each other? I get the impression the few couple that like a single guy to join in like to pick the guy and not the other way round... And the single to singles is a ratios game... Far more guys than girls... So the girls get to pick the cream of the chaps... and it just doesn't work the other way around... The single guy has to work hard on here... if we are all honest he is at the base of the food chain you have to be top beef cake to get the girl... lol

women alway get to choose... No matter how nice a guy is or treats a lady if she don't say yes you ain't getting nowhere... lol and isn't that true in life as a whole... Guys might think they wear the trousers... But it's the women in his life that's made washed and ironed them in the first place... tee hee

Joke! like to point out humour there...

those happy to help him out...

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By *ickens CiderMan  over a year ago

taunton


""what am I doing wrong" ..... Whinging for a start.... Omfg he was only asking a Q jeeez some ppl * rolling eyes*

*Sits on coffin*

You know something gothic, you're absolutely right and my remarks being first on the thread after the OP's question was a bit harsh as he comes across as a nice guy so to him, good luck and I take it all back. Xxx"

I respect you for say it was a bit of a harsh comment... And good on you for righting a wrong...

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By *ig badMan  over a year ago

Up North :-)


"hi guys, im having trouble getting to know people/meeting with them... im not fussed even if we just have long chats first. The women/couples just seem to read my messages and not reply or just delete them. is it because im just a young guy or my profile is a bit uninteresting?

thanks"

Well its not just one thing its a combination of things. Your age will be a plus with some and a negative with others so i wouldn't worry about that. your about the age i was when i started.

First beef your profile up a little. But leave gaps so its easy to read. Have likes and dislikes bit about you, what you like. To the point but keep it interesting.

Secondly pictures! You need more. Realisticly you get 12 as a free member so use them all. It can only help especially if you have decent ones. Face if you can but people understand if you don't.

Messages. Take time, no block cut and paste. Better to send 10 quality ones than 100 boring ones. Add a pic as well to messages it will help.

Be chatty, be polite, a litte humor or irony as ling as its not sarcastic. Praise people. If you like a pic say what you like about it. They know you have looked. If you do comment on pics make sure they can see yours.

Finally don't be put off by rejection. It takes hard work initially but it comes especially if geed word gets round.

Hope it helps

PS get to social events. It really does help as people meet you.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Your profile is just a bit "meh". Personally if you sent me a message and then I read your profile I wouldn't bother replying. There are hundreds of profiles, all like yours, no information, no decent photos, nothing interesting.

Sorry if that's too blunt.

ha ha nah, its ok, yeah, i guess it is a bit bland lol, i just thought about the pics if i put a face pic there i'd be worried about the discression side and maybe just maybe someone i know might find out ha ha. i do send my private pics (face pics etc) im the messages though as i know my profile ones are'nt that good.

how could i make it more interesting? (from a womans poing of view)?

thanks"

get your spelling right for starters! you are 21 and ive kids; a boy who is one year older than you, seriously not my thing and you will find alot of people who have kids wont go near you so reading profiles is paramount. Also you say you like older women "groan", how old? You might want to say whether you have an age limit.

And its right, there are about 20 single guys to 1 women ratio so you have to sell yourself in your profile and you arent doing that at all. Try not moaning on the forums about struggling to meet, make witty comments instead, thought provoking ones, and visit the clubs

good luck anyway

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Nothing constructive to add and got no reason to diss the OP so will just ....

Put a whoopee cushion in Goth's coffin before she gets back in to it."

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Sorry Dickens as I am going to be blunt now.

We are on here to have fun not nurse maid anyone who complains when they don't get meets as fast as they would like or that their mails are being ignored.

There are a few FAQ answers at the bottom of the page plus plenty of advice and tips all over the forums,but you can't force people to read it.

On another note, I have had to take off a couple of posts, if you want to comment or give advice, thats great, but don't attack the OP when doing so please.

I certainly wasn't having a go at the OP... Sorry if anybody read it that way? Huh... I was trying to diss the unhelpful comment which the guy got hit with at the start... loads of people have advised the guy well... giveN some good pointers and tips here...

When I said don't post then... it was aimed at those that grumb at threads of this nature.... time and time again... it is slightly heartless and disheartening for newbies... and more so for the guys new to here... a newbie woman it's the complete opposite I guess? pestered with the out numbering guys all trying their luck... I was trying to agree with Goth in saying give the guy a break... see there's no disclaimer when you sign up... guys be prepared to wait sometime before your first meet... ladies you'll have a meet.. sorry numerous meets within 24hrs if you want? An I don't know what the score would be for couples honestly? The nice single women that I do chat with have expanded the shear volume of mail they do get... Daily?! So there is a divide and as much as there is different uses of the site by different members the couples to couples is really what it's about surely... Then the couples possible then are happier with couples and single woman...even stevens approach to each other? I get the impression the few couple that like a single guy to join in like to pick the guy and not the other way round... And the single to singles is a ratios game... Far more guys than girls... So the girls get to pick the cream of the chaps... and it just doesn't work the other way around... The single guy has to work hard on here... if we are all honest he is at the base of the food chain you have to be top beef cake to get the girl... lol

women alway get to choose... No matter how nice a guy is or treats a lady if she don't say yes you ain't getting nowhere... lol and isn't that true in life as a whole... Guys might think they wear the trousers... But it's the women in his life that's made washed and ironed them in the first place... tee hee

Joke! like to point out humour there...

those happy to help him out... "

I wouldn't say it's the same in every walk of life, the numbers game works this way within swinging sites, but if on the other hand you're solvent and go on one of those singles cruises aimed at finding a lifepartner then there would be more women than men, simply because more women find monogamy and such a major turn on and their only real desire. Swinging however appeals to more men so the opposite is true...

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By *ugby 123Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo


"Sorry Dickens as I am going to be blunt now.

We are on here to have fun not nurse maid anyone who complains when they don't get meets as fast as they would like or that their mails are being ignored.

There are a few FAQ answers at the bottom of the page plus plenty of advice and tips all over the forums,but you can't force people to read it.

On another note, I have had to take off a couple of posts, if you want to comment or give advice, thats great, but don't attack the OP when doing so please.

I certainly wasn't having a go at the OP... Sorry if anybody read it that way? "

I didn't see anyone suggest you did.

I was making a comment on your "mentor" suggestion and comments that I had to remove.

If someone joined an adult site and needed a mentor to help him get a meet then it wouldn't be someone we would be looking for. Also, the fact people say they don't answer all mails because they don't have the time to, I can't see them having any time to nursemaid anyone.

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By *ickens CiderMan  over a year ago

taunton


"

I wouldn't say it's the same in every walk of life, the numbers game works this way within swinging sites, but if on the other hand you're solvent and go on one of those singles cruises aimed at finding a lifepartner then there would be more women than men, simply because more women find monogamy and such a major turn on and their only real desire. Swinging however appeals to more men so the opposite is true..."

I appeal to those that wish to help a hopeless case... I'll shake my bucket of a few coppers and silvers for I wish to go on one of these cruises.... ding dong... anybody else coming? lol

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By *ickens CiderMan  over a year ago

taunton


"Sorry Dickens as I am going to be blunt now.

We are on here to have fun not nurse maid anyone who complains when they don't get meets as fast as they would like or that their mails are being ignored.

There are a few FAQ answers at the bottom of the page plus plenty of advice and tips all over the forums,but you can't force people to read it.

On another note, I have had to take off a couple of posts, if you want to comment or give advice, thats great, but don't attack the OP when doing so please.

I certainly wasn't having a go at the OP... Sorry if anybody read it that way?

I didn't see anyone suggest you did.

I was making a comment on your "mentor" suggestion and comments that I had to remove.

If someone joined an adult site and needed a mentor to help him get a meet then it wouldn't be someone we would be looking for. Also, the fact people say they don't answer all mails because they don't have the time to, I can't see them having any time to nursemaid anyone."

Well I would say that I've had my mentors in here they've been wonderful and friendly guides to help improve my profile and help me move along way from lots of misunderstands and mistakes... It just not as simple as people think being new in here and if your an old hand its easily forgotten what the first steps are like... it what isn't said here in the forums that will help you... it did me... you learn of those that will (in your own eyes) seemingly just have a dig at you... seemingly openly at you for the amusemnet of themselves and the hardest thing to learn is to bite your lip, leave it and move on and not to respond... no matter how much you want to answer back?

Then there are nice guys... they'll more than likely drop you a personal message and suggest things or just give you some moral support... and you'll be surprise by those that only read the forums and you don't see them post... why because they did at one stage but got knocked back and didn't enjoy it at all in here! You'll find they'll drop you a PM occassionally too making reference to a question or a thought hightlighted in here before or in the past? It all helps you to learn the ropes...

And equally you'll find there are those you can trust or feel that your on an equal wavelength with and you feel... I'll ask them a question... and you know what.. they come back to you with good honest answers and advice! So... if in your heart you feel or equally kind of know someone is a good sort in here... that gut feeling that they a nice person or couple... you'll nornally find that they are!

So there are regulars... they'll help you in the forum... and if they've got the time they'll equally help you with a private matter too... if you ask for help or advice...

So I know you guys know who you are... and you've helped me alot in moments when its been hard for me on a personally level... So Thanks Folks! Therfore in my eyes you are "my" mentors... so tuff! lol

Moral support and a little bit of humanity... friendship even... goes along way some days!

And one final thought for the OP... browse outside your area... several areas away if you like? select a contact a suitable contact that would be your target meet or dream meet if she was local and perhaps send a message and just politely ask if they would be kind enough to perhaps give some feed back on your profile ask for what they would or wouldn't like to know.. see or hear about in your profile... edit and tweek... try again

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


""what am I doing wrong" ..... Whinging for a start....

Omfg he was only asking a Q jeeez some ppl * rolling eyes*

*Sits on coffin*"

got to admit im kinda agreeing with you there

some people just find any excuse to had a go at other

i thought his post was actually quite nice, he wasnt whinging he was asking for advice on how to improve his chances in a posative way

give people a break

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Sorry Dickens as I am going to be blunt now.

We are on here to have fun not nurse maid anyone who complains when they don't get meets as fast as they would like or that their mails are being ignored.

There are a few FAQ answers at the bottom of the page plus plenty of advice and tips all over the forums,but you can't force people to read it.

On another note, I have had to take off a couple of posts, if you want to comment or give advice, thats great, but don't attack the OP when doing so please.

I certainly wasn't having a go at the OP... Sorry if anybody read it that way?

I didn't see anyone suggest you did.

I was making a comment on your "mentor" suggestion and comments that I had to remove.

If someone joined an adult site and needed a mentor to help him get a meet then it wouldn't be someone we would be looking for. Also, the fact people say they don't answer all mails because they don't have the time to, I can't see them having any time to nursemaid anyone."

Sorry Dickens, I'm with Rugby on this one too.

My time for playing is limited - so when I play it has to be with someone who has an idea what they're doing.

Whilst I appreciate we've all had to start somewhere, one would assume people joining an adult site would have some idea of what they want/what they can offer, and hand holding, guiding them is not something I would have the time or inclination for.

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By *ugby 123Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo


"Sorry Dickens as I am going to be blunt now.

We are on here to have fun not nurse maid anyone who complains when they don't get meets as fast as they would like or that their mails are being ignored.

There are a few FAQ answers at the bottom of the page plus plenty of advice and tips all over the forums,but you can't force people to read it.

On another note, I have had to take off a couple of posts, if you want to comment or give advice, thats great, but don't attack the OP when doing so please.

I certainly wasn't having a go at the OP... Sorry if anybody read it that way?

I didn't see anyone suggest you did.

I was making a comment on your "mentor" suggestion and comments that I had to remove.

If someone joined an adult site and needed a mentor to help him get a meet then it wouldn't be someone we would be looking for. Also, the fact people say they don't answer all mails because they don't have the time to, I can't see them having any time to nursemaid anyone.

Well I would say that I've had my mentors in here they've been wonderful and friendly guides to help improve my profile and help me move along way from lots of misunderstands and mistakes... It just not as simple as people think being new in here and if your an old hand its easily forgotten what the first steps are like... it what isn't said here in the forums that will help you... it did me... you learn of those that will (in your own eyes) seemingly just have a dig at you... seemingly openly at you for the amusemnet of themselves and the hardest thing to learn is to bite your lip, leave it and move on and not to respond... no matter how much you want to answer back?

Then there are nice guys... they'll more than likely drop you a personal message and suggest things or just give you some moral support... and you'll be surprise by those that only read the forums and you don't see them post... why because they did at one stage but got knocked back and didn't enjoy it at all in here! You'll find they'll drop you a PM occassionally too making reference to a question or a thought hightlighted in here before or in the past? It all helps you to learn the ropes...

And equally you'll find there are those you can trust or feel that your on an equal wavelength with and you feel... I'll ask them a question... and you know what.. they come back to you with good honest answers and advice! So... if in your heart you feel or equally kind of know someone is a good sort in here... that gut feeling that they a nice person or couple... you'll nornally find that they are!

So there are regulars... they'll help you in the forum... and if they've got the time they'll equally help you with a private matter too... if you ask for help or advice...

So I know you guys know who you are... and you've helped me alot in moments when its been hard for me on a personally level... So Thanks Folks! Therfore in my eyes you are "my" mentors... so tuff! lol

Moral support and a little bit of humanity... friendship even... goes along way some days!

And one final thought for the OP... browse outside your area... several areas away if you like? select a contact a suitable contact that would be your target meet or dream meet if she was local and perhaps send a message and just politely ask if they would be kind enough to perhaps give some feed back on your profile ask for what they would or wouldn't like to know.. see or hear about in your profile... edit and tweek... try again "

You will always find friendly people on any site, that is a certainty, but some of us are hard bitches and are on here for enjoyment for ourselves, and although we obviously get mails for help as we are mods and are quite happy answering those mails and helping if we can, for our swinging life we are more straight forward, almost black and white.

I don't want to be a nurse maid to anyone who hasn't a clue,....the mails we like to get are along the lines of can I do your wife ( or words to that effect)not can you help me to find a playmate.

When we first joined sites like this, we sat back , watched, and learnt and then joined in/ wrote our profile etc, the same as any other adult could do.

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By *ugby 123Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

PS be prepared to see more threads opened because of your last bit of advice of mailing people outside of your area.......as people could be complaining that others are not answering them, and the couples/fems complaining that people out of their area keep mailing them so they delete it !!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


""what am I doing wrong" ..... Whinging for a start.... Omfg he was only asking a Q jeeez some ppl * rolling eyes*

*Sits on coffin*"

u so love your coffin

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/07/10 10:30:00]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"You will always find friendly people on any site, that is a certainty, but some of us are hard bitches and are on here for enjoyment for ourselves, the same as any other adult could do."

...and some of us are weally, weally, nice an fluffy wuffy...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

have to agree some people on here are lovely and a pleasure to talk to via forums and messages.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"You will always find friendly people on any site, that is a certainty, but some of us are hard bitches and are on here for enjoyment for ourselves, the same as any other adult could do.

...and some of us are weally, weally, nice an fluffy wuffy...

"

You? fluffy lol xx

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By *ickens CiderMan  over a year ago

taunton


"PS be prepared to see more threads opened because of your last bit of advice of mailing people outside of your area.......as people could be complaining that others are not answering them, and the couples/fems complaining that people out of their area keep mailing them so they delete it !! "

well the sad thing is you only get to make a first impression once... so if those impression are in your learning stages in with the locals... its game over... where as if you'd known and where wiseer you'd of build your skill else where... life is tuff and shit happens but I don't think you get a second chance with many here even if you have improved and got things right... they still rememer your dire attempts at the start... lol

or is it just me... tee hee

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Something like less than 0.05% of the users on here come into the forums so I would'nt worry

That leaves plenty of others that hav'nt witnessed any forum behaviour

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By *eprobatepairCouple  over a year ago

london

[Removed by poster at 22/07/10 12:16:49]

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By *eprobatepairCouple  over a year ago

london

OP try using some capitalisation and proper grammar if you are wanting to meet older people. We don't do text speak and we do like well constructed sentences. The shift key is next to the Z...

You sound like a nice enough guy but 21 is too young for a LOT of ppl here as they have children of that age.

You've had one meet in four months and she verified you, that's a good return.

Just because people here swing it doesn't mean that they will drop their knickers at the drop of a hat, you still have to be interesting and charming and different.

If you get 1 reply in 200 approach emails then congratulate yourself. You are doing well.

Patience. Go to socials, join a swingers club and just stay in the bar area and chat to people without expecting to play. If they want you to play with them they will tell you. Success breeds confidence and confidence breeds success.

And don't forget to go out to normal places too, build your game there.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"You will always find friendly people on any site, that is a certainty, but some of us are hard bitches and are on here for enjoyment for ourselves, the same as any other adult could do.

...and some of us are weally, weally, nice an fluffy wuffy...

You? fluffy lol xx "

That had me laughing out loud, and caused my colleague to look at me.

What are you implying?!! I am nice and fluffy, wuffy...I always provide a pillow for playmates to bite into and very generous with the lube!!

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