FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > When you meet with someone, are they just a living sex toy to you?
When you meet with someone, are they just a living sex toy to you?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I was having a conversation with a friend yesterday and she was talking about having detached, emotionless sex and that she was perfectly fine with it but preferred to be into someone and actually like them. But if need be, she could have detached sex.
I asked her that in those situations, is the person they're with basically the same as a dildo. Just a tool to get you off, (also the same with the guy in that situation i'd imagine). And she said yes.
Which made me think, if this is how everyone _iewed meets on here, so when people have lists of requirements on their profiles about how tall their potential meets have to be, their body size, how big their cock/boobs are etc... Is that basically them trying to find the 'sex toy' that they want. Because it's detached and the emotion isn't there to help you, you look for the 'technically' best person to meet because that would get you off. However if it was someone in real life, and you had emotion involved then those body requirements wouldn't have to be met because you're connected with them in a deeper way?
Sorry for going all philosophical lol, just a thought that came into my head and would be interesting to talk about. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Interesting thought, from my point of _iew no... I enjoy the pleasure that my meet gets too, I enjoy them getting turned on and I get more pleasure knowing they enjoy themselves too. I think if you're just using the other person for your own pleasure then that's a very cold and impersonal way to behave |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i see where you coming from ( derr  ) - but a toy is inanimate and people do tend to react and respond - maybe a robot would be good  "
im being very tongue in cheek there - we love the banter and personal side - wouldnt work for us without that |
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Cold fucking doesn't really work for me, I love the kissing, stroking, teasing and chatting that makes a good meet for me, I don't do anything that is for my pleasure only, I do things that both of is enjoy |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
I think it can be perfectly acceptable to enjoy a combination of both.
Depends on the meet, the pre-meet interaction, the location, the 'aspiration' - and dozens of other variables.
Private meets I guess may well have had a bit more interaction, planning and communication beforehand. Club meets - and for those that enjoy such pursuits as dogging - may entail less, and possibly fall more into the realm of detached, less personal activities.
That said it should always be the case that pleasure and enjoyment is reciprocal.
But there are plenty that aren't looking for friends or socialising and just want physical interaction with someone they're attracted to, often with little concern for anything other than physical compatibility at the time.
And I'd never date tell these people they are in any way wrong.
A |
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I think there are elements. Nothing is black and white. We are not able to do the social side, so we maybe seen as the sexual users etc. But it does not mean any hole is a goal or that we won't chat or kiss.
It just means we can't commit to any other swingers like family and friends. It's a matter of being friendly if not friends. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think your needs change according to the moon, time of month for some, how hungry you are, a little tipsy... etc
But basically it can be a combination of both.
My best meets have been with great social interaction before hand, turn up fuck and go a little mechanical and well more of a wank really.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I understand where your comments are coming from - and think the people (Particularly single men) on fab are treated like a sex catalogue by some - ie you have ro meet a long list of physical requirements in order to be able to 'apply'!
However - for me amazing sex starts from the first message - from a meeting of minds - the exchange of general banter then an exchange of ideas - with flirting and giggling along the way! Then on meeting - eating or drinking, talking, laughing - gradually turning our minds on to sex - then alone - that first kiss - first embrace - slowly undressing each other - sensual foreplay - driving each other to distraction - and that first moment of penetration - slow and deep! And from there - gorgeous!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it can be perfectly acceptable to enjoy a combination of both.
Depends on the meet, the pre-meet interaction, the location, the 'aspiration' - and dozens of other variables.
Private meets I guess may well have had a bit more interaction, planning and communication beforehand. Club meets - and for those that enjoy such pursuits as dogging - may entail less, and possibly fall more into the realm of detached, less personal activities.
That said it should always be the case that pleasure and enjoyment is reciprocal.
But there are plenty that aren't looking for friends or socialising and just want physical interaction with someone they're attracted to, often with little concern for anything other than physical compatibility at the time.
And I'd never date tell these people they are in any way wrong.
A"
This!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think there are elements. Nothing is black and white. We are not able to do the social side, so we maybe seen as the sexual users etc. But it does not mean any hole is a goal or that we won't chat or kiss.
It just means we can't commit to any other swingers like family and friends. It's a matter of being friendly if not friends."
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the physical checklist may be more to do with knowing what physical characteristics turn you on usually. I prefer men that are taller as I think they are sexy, doesn't mean I wouldn't meet a short man but he wouldn't be my fist choice. But a lot of it is to do with the mind being turned on, by visual, sensory and mental stimulation. I'm not going to shag just anyone, I need to feel attracted to them. |
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We have to admit when we first got into the swing of things we did so looking at any potential meets as sex toys to enhance our sex life. Gradually we came to find that, like C's sex toy box, we liked variety. Thus we played with more people (and intend to play with more still).
More recently we realised that you can actually go beyond the sex-toy scenario and become sociable and friendly with people, not that we would invite them over to meet our parents!  |
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there's a lot of verbal diarrhea and psychobabble on this thread! Week! 