FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Why don't you go to Clubs?
Why don't you go to Clubs?
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By *ethnmelv OP Couple
over a year ago
Cardiff |
It took us quite a few years to get the courage to go, but once started we can't stop - so what is stopping other people from going?
(Usual answer of too much money, is not accepted here, as we have been both as couple and singles and £25 for a night out is pretty damn good really!  ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm too nervous to go alone to be honest.
It's the fear of walking into a new place and not knowing anyone, the layout or the etiquette.
I have been to one once but it wasn't the best experience. It was very cliquey and rather run down.
Kinda put me off. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We find clubbing is mch less stressful and a much easier way of meeting than relying on the site.
I can see that the cost would/could be prohibitive. It's a relatively cheap night but certainly not cheap |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like clubs but tend to stick to the same couple that i know I'd love to try some different ones but the thought of going to a new club alone full of people i don't know is really daunting |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm too nervous to go alone to be honest.
It's the fear of walking into a new place and not knowing anyone, the layout or the etiquette.
I have been to one once but it wasn't the best experience. It was very cliquey and rather run down.
Kinda put me off. "
you shouldn't let 1 club put you off. We've been to 3 and 1 of which we didnt like at all but 1 we love and cant stop going xx |
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By *ethnmelv OP Couple
over a year ago
Cardiff |
We were incredibly nervous the first time we went - but really enjoyed it. We find Swingers Clubs a lot less cliquey than Night Clubs, with way fewer d*unk people - Beth has been groped much more in a Night Club - with obvious consequences to the gropper!!  |
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By *ethnmelv OP Couple
over a year ago
Cardiff |
"I like clubs but tend to stick to the same couple that i know I'd love to try some different ones but the thought of going to a new club alone full of people i don't know is really daunting "
Agreed, new Clubs can be daunting, but also really exciting and to an extent more anonymous so you can do, be, whatever you want...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree, we pay 21 pound to go to our usual favourite club.
We are off there tonight were its 5 pound per person, it would cost far more on a general night out. 
Her |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We prefer clubs and parties to meets through here, although we usually follow up with a meet outside the club after if we like who we have played with "
that's something i have never done, I have never met someone in a club and arranged to meet them outside, I've had a fair few people I have met in clubs ask me for my number but for some strange reason I'm always weary about meeting people I've met in clubs outside  |
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We go maybe once, twice a year, book a hotel nearby and have a good night.
Swinging is just a little treat once in a blue moon, not a necessity!
We already have a great sex life and for some, going to clubs becomes so frequent it IS their sex life.
Quality over quantity.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't go to clubs, but not through fear or lack of confidence - it's just that I am a fairly quiet sorta chap who tends to take a back seat in any new social situation, and don't really come out of my shell until I'm very, very comfortable with the people present. Call it shyness if you like, but in reality I'm one of the louder people in all the places I spend my time in real life!
But at parties (not swinger ones, just regular ones) where I don't know everyone, I tend to just find a quiet spot and chat with one or two other 'quiet' people. In such situations, where there are a lot of people ho don't know each other, the conversation is invariably hogged by the people who talk the loudest and the longest (and are usually full off BS!) leaving the likes of me looking like miserable twats who don't wanna be there! |
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By *ethnmelv OP Couple
over a year ago
Cardiff |
"We go maybe once, twice a year, book a hotel nearby and have a good night.
Swinging is just a little treat once in a blue moon, not a necessity!
We already have a great sex life and for some, going to clubs becomes so frequent it IS their sex life.
Quality over quantity.
"
Fair point. We tend to go about every 2 months as a treat. There are just so many things to do & so few w/e's to do them in |
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Mrs thinks they're going to be really seedy. Just the picture she has in her head. Would like to go to xtasia on a Sunday for the fetish night. Think that would be more relaxed. However I won't make we go can take it or leave it |
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By *ethnmelv OP Couple
over a year ago
Cardiff |
"I don't go to clubs, but not through fear or lack of confidence - it's just that I am a fairly quiet sorta chap who tends to take a back seat in any new social situation, and don't really come out of my shell until I'm very, very comfortable with the people present. Call it shyness if you like, but in reality I'm one of the louder people in all the places I spend my time in real life!
But at parties (not swinger ones, just regular ones) where I don't know everyone, I tend to just find a quiet spot and chat with one or two other 'quiet' people. In such situations, where there are a lot of people ho don't know each other, the conversation is invariably hogged by the people who talk the loudest and the longest (and are usually full off BS!) leaving the likes of me looking like miserable twats who don't wanna be there!"
From our experience in Clubs, we ignore the loud, brash guys - as I'm sure many couples do. Get out there and give it a try! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Been to a couple of clubs, one I hated but it was a first visit so didn't really feel comfortable. One that used to be near us, I loved, mainly because friends owned it and the last one was a BDSM club, wasn't to keen as I didn't like being a show for all to watch. Not my thing but I know others love it.
Much prefer play at home. |
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By *ethnmelv OP Couple
over a year ago
Cardiff |
"Mrs thinks they're going to be really seedy. Just the picture she has in her head. Would like to go to xtasia on a Sunday for the fetish night. Think that would be more relaxed. However I won't make we go can take it or leave it "
We tried a clothed Club first, for that very reason and found it not to be the case at all. Once you get over the 'newbie' nature of going for the first time, it is very exciting, very empowering for women and damned horny. Beth loves dressing up (as do I - smart!) so for us wet Clubs haven't really pulled us in yet |
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"I agree, we pay 21 pound to go to our usual favourite club.
We are off there tonight were its 5 pound per person, it would cost far more on a general night out.
Her"
Say hi to Suze and Andy for me  |
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Everyone is shy on their first visit. I always advise go to a few socials first as then at least you will be given a welcome by the organisers. I started by going to socials in pubs, then took the plunge and went to a social at a naturist camping weekend back in 2011. I have not looked back since and have now made so many good friends I always have someone to chat to when I do go anywhere. As for clubs try different ones as you may not like the first one you go to but I'm sure you will find a good one. |
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We much prefer clubs to the whole private meet thing these days. Its nice to get dolled up, and we find on the whole there is less pressure to play or preform in the club environment. Also there seems to be less chance for things to go wrong also... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A club is a great place to really learn more about the scene as a whole, you tend to meet all sorts and generally the clientele is very understanding to newbees, we went our first club over 2 years ago and of course we were nervous, within 5 minutes of being inside we wondered what all the fuss was about. For single guys its a great place to get yourself known and to get properly verified.Clubs can open many doors and in our opinion a great cheap night out as long as you go to the right places xx |
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My close club I go to sometimes charge £35 for non members & £45 for members & free or £5 for single women.
No wonder single women favour clubs to meet and go on a regular fri/sat night.
I do like clubs but it will be atleast £140 a month if you went every week as a single bloke, so it's a bugger for us blokes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It took us quite a few years to get the courage to go, but once started we can't stop - so what is stopping other people from going?
(Usual answer of too much money, is not accepted here, as we have been both as couple and singles and £25 for a night out is pretty damn good really! )"
For many its more than that as you have traveling expenses and hotel fees and no guarantee of a good night after the outlay.  |
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"It took us quite a few years to get the courage to go, but once started we can't stop - so what is stopping other people from going?
(Usual answer of too much money, is not accepted here, as we have been both as couple and singles and £25 for a night out is pretty damn good really! )"
Nothing us stopping us except we don't want to.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It took us quite a few years to get the courage to go, but once started we can't stop - so what is stopping other people from going?
(Usual answer of too much money, is not accepted here, as we have been both as couple and singles and £25 for a night out is pretty damn good really! )"
Because I have no desire to go alone and also no desire to go with random strangers who I wouldn't trust. When I was in a relationship we went all the time but haven't been since for this reason |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It took us quite a few years to get the courage to go, but once started we can't stop - so what is stopping other people from going?
(Usual answer of too much money, is not accepted here, as we have been both as couple and singles and £25 for a night out is pretty damn good really! )
Because I have no desire to go alone and also no desire to go with random strangers who I wouldn't trust. When I was in a relationship we went all the time but haven't been since for this reason "
igo alone never had an issue |
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"I'm too nervous to go alone to be honest.
It's the fear of walking into a new place and not knowing anyone, the layout or the etiquette."
 this is the main reason for me and the fact that when I did get the courage to go and found someone(I thought) to go with I travelled only to find out it was a timewaster so time and money wasted put me right off would love to go but just not alone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have done the club scene on and off for 3 years . It goes in phases for us . Since we prefer to be spontaneous and often love meeting newbies , clubs definately have their place .
However there is a downside when you regularly visit the same club - it becomes like your local pub and you keep seeing the same faces etc..... and inevitably you become a part of the clique that often exists . For this reason we take time out periodically .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I went twice but there weren't any people i wanted to have any sexual contact with. I did meet some nice people but i can do that anywhere. I'm glad i went though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It took us quite a few years to get the courage to go, but once started we can't stop - so what is stopping other people from going?
(Usual answer of too much money, is not accepted here, as we have been both as couple and singles and £25 for a night out is pretty damn good really! )
Because I have no desire to go alone and also no desire to go with random strangers who I wouldn't trust. When I was in a relationship we went all the time but haven't been since for this reason
igo alone never had an issue"
I didn't say I'd have an issue I said I had no desire to do that alone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I agree, we pay 21 pound to go to our usual favourite club.
We are off there tonight were its 5 pound per person, it would cost far more on a general night out.
Her
Say hi to Suze and Andy for me "
Will do, and hopefully to you too one day
Her |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its easy, I been to few but wont go anymore, its tooooooooo expensive and as well when you pay such high price, around 60£ in some cases, sex aint always promised lol |
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We really enjoy em! Found the parties that suite us perfectly( everything on point!) and get to try different places when time and commitments permit.
First time was nerve racking! But never looked back! Met some great people and doors open wide once you take that first plunge!
Real buzz dressing up and getting ready as we always have a great time... Learn a great deal about swinging going to clubs... Nothing seedy and some very classy places out there!! |
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"Mrs thinks they're going to be really seedy. Just the picture she has in her head. Would like to go to xtasia on a Sunday for the fetish night. Think that would be more relaxed. However I won't make we go can take it or leave it
We tried a clothed Club first, for that very reason and found it not to be the case at all. Once you get over the 'newbie' nature of going for the first time, it is very exciting, very empowering for women and damned horny. Beth loves dressing up (as do I - smart!) so for us wet Clubs haven't really pulled us in yet "
Yeah the idea of a clothed club appeals more to us. It's also the travel and sitters etc. maybe one day |
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The clubs are the venue of the scene and some are good, but....
For me I find it strange that a scene that is predominately 30+ is about "clubbing".
I have never been into clubbing and from the age of 24 mostly hung out in hotel bars. Some of which are the most sensual and sexy venues you could ever visit.
Plus (groan old man) you can hear each other talk and they are not pitch black either...
Surely somewhere n the UK there must be that sexy, stylish, sensual atmosphere that makes you feel sexy the moment you walk in?
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The clubs are the venue of the scene and some are good, but....
For me I find it strange that a scene that is predominately 30+ is about "clubbing".
I have never been into clubbing and from the age of 24 mostly hung out in hotel bars. Some of which are the most sensual and sexy venues you could ever visit.
Plus (groan old man) you can hear each other talk and they are not pitch black either...
Surely somewhere n the UK there must be that sexy, stylish, sensual atmosphere that makes you feel sexy the moment you walk in?
"
You seem to be saying swinging vlubs are like night clubs? Generally they aren't.
The comments about hearing yourself talk and being pitch black aren't true of any club we've ever been too |
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"The clubs are the venue of the scene and some are good, but....
For me I find it strange that a scene that is predominately 30+ is about "clubbing".
I have never been into clubbing and from the age of 24 mostly hung out in hotel bars. Some of which are the most sensual and sexy venues you could ever visit.
Plus (groan old man) you can hear each other talk and they are not pitch black either...
Surely somewhere n the UK there must be that sexy, stylish, sensual atmosphere that makes you feel sexy the moment you walk in?
"
plenty! And pitch black? Only the ' Dark room' with no light at all! enter if you dare lol |
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Dance floor
Multiple voices or loud music
Any other colour light other than white
Dress-up
There's something sexy about hotel bars that they just get right...
and the people in there are testament to that. |
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Don't get to go that often with work etc
But when I do I prefer to go with a lady friend as not overly impressed at being a single guy in clubs works that well for me and find people are more talkative etc if you're a 'couple', even if me and the lady I go with aren't a 'proper' couple! |
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It's very daunting for couples as well as singles going to a club for the first time the one we go to is so down to earth normal people you're made to feel welcome as soon as you walk through the door |
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By *ethnmelv OP Couple
over a year ago
Cardiff |
"We much prefer clubs to the whole private meet thing these days. Its nice to get dolled up, and we find on the whole there is less pressure to play or preform in the club environment. Also there seems to be less chance for things to go wrong also..."
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dance floor
Multiple voices or loud music
Any other colour light other than white
Dress-up
There's something sexy about hotel bars that they just get right...
and the people in there are testament to that."
We get where you're coming from on this. In our experience most UK clubs (we haven't tried them all, but quite a few) fall some way short when it comes to ambiance, especially if you're into a classy, twinkly decor and a vibrant, sexy atmosphere with a 'proper' bar, DJ and buzzing dancefloor. We'd love it if the UK had clubs like Les Chandelles (Paris), which, in our view, is a near perfect combination of stylish nightclub and swinging venue. It's expensive, though, and outside of central London it might prove difficult to generate enough customers willing to pay the price. Of course, Westminster council would never permit one in central London so we'll probably continue to be Eurostar passengers for some time to come
On the other hand, if anyone thinks there's a UK club that fits the bill, we'd love to hear about it! |
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By *ethnmelv OP Couple
over a year ago
Cardiff |
"We have done the club scene on and off for 3 years . It goes in phases for us . Since we prefer to be spontaneous and often love meeting newbies , clubs definately have their place .
However there is a downside when you regularly visit the same club - it becomes like your local pub and you keep seeing the same faces etc..... and inevitably you become a part of the clique that often exists . For this reason we take time out periodically .
"
Totally get your point about frequency we seem to vary between a couple of Clubs and then try somewhere new - keeps the excitement up |
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By *jandjbCouple
over a year ago
Nr Manchester |
"We go maybe once, twice a year, book a hotel nearby and have a good night.
Swinging is just a little treat once in a blue moon, not a necessity!
We already have a great sex life and for some, going to clubs becomes so frequent it IS their sex life.
Quality over quantity.
"
Everyone is entitled to an opinion and I would also suspect that for singles some people may not have a sex club outside of the swinging scene.
We agreed at the outset that if we had sex with other people (which we now do frequently ) it would be a bonus. The scene has revved up our sex life such that we have more sex at home now then we ever did - with the possible exception of our first 6 months together - 32 years ago  |
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By *ethnmelv OP Couple
over a year ago
Cardiff |
"Dance floor
Multiple voices or loud music
Any other colour light other than white
Dress-up
There's something sexy about hotel bars that they just get right...
and the people in there are testament to that.
We get where you're coming from on this. In our experience most UK clubs (we haven't tried them all, but quite a few) fall some way short when it comes to ambiance, especially if you're into a classy, twinkly decor and a vibrant, sexy atmosphere with a 'proper' bar, DJ and buzzing dancefloor. We'd love it if the UK had clubs like Les Chandelles (Paris), which, in our view, is a near perfect combination of stylish nightclub and swinging venue. It's expensive, though, and outside of central London it might prove difficult to generate enough customers willing to pay the price. Of course, Westminster council would never permit one in central London so we'll probably continue to be Eurostar passengers for some time to come
On the other hand, if anyone thinks there's a UK club that fits the bill, we'd love to hear about it!"
Now the Paris Club sounds fun! It is a shame Westminster Council are opposed, a London Club could be brilliant |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have done the club scene on and off for 3 years . It goes in phases for us . Since we prefer to be spontaneous and often love meeting newbies , clubs definately have their place .
However there is a downside when you regularly visit the same club - it becomes like your local pub and you keep seeing the same faces etc..... and inevitably you become a part of the clique that often exists . For this reason we take time out periodically .
"
This is a very valid point xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The clubs are the venue of the scene and some are good, but....
For me I find it strange that a scene that is predominately 30+ is about "clubbing".
I have never been into clubbing and from the age of 24 mostly hung out in hotel bars. Some of which are the most sensual and sexy venues you could ever visit.
Plus (groan old man) you can hear each other talk and they are not pitch black either...
Surely somewhere n the UK there must be that sexy, stylish, sensual atmosphere that makes you feel sexy the moment you walk in?
"
Never been to a club that is pitch black or noisy in any areas apart from the dance floors (if they have one). Not sure which club you are refering too ?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have been to a social at a club and went with a couple of friends from here, it was a great night but now I am about to go to a club near me for the first time and I am going alone. I am so nervous about it and because of this I messaged the club and they have been so kind and welcoming that I am going to swallow the nerves and go. Wish me luck!!! |
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By *ethnmelv OP Couple
over a year ago
Cardiff |
"I have been to a social at a club and went with a couple of friends from here, it was a great night but now I am about to go to a club near me for the first time and I am going alone. I am so nervous about it and because of this I messaged the club and they have been so kind and welcoming that I am going to swallow the nerves and go. Wish me luck!!! "
Good luck honestly you will be totally fine, everyone is pretty protective of single women - but not to the extent that you can't be wild and do anything you want! Nobody is their to judge you, no is perfectly acceptable and yes feels fantastic |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The clubs are the venue of the scene and some are good, but....
For me I find it strange that a scene that is predominately 30+ is about "clubbing".
I have never been into clubbing and from the age of 24 mostly hung out in hotel bars. Some of which are the most sensual and sexy venues you could ever visit.
Plus (groan old man) you can hear each other talk and they are not pitch black either...
Surely somewhere n the UK there must be that sexy, stylish, sensual atmosphere that makes you feel sexy the moment you walk in?
"
Totally agree with this..
Most clubs we have been too seem rather dingy or just don't make any effort to market themselves to a younger clubber. So as most people we find in clubs are 40+ it's not worth going anymore.
Lots say they are packed and have lots of good looking people, but when you turn up you wonder where they all are..
We save our money and use it for trips to ibiza over the summers now, and meet others sometimes who are 'vanilla' for fun out there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We prefer clubs and parties to meets through here, although we usually follow up with a meet outside the club after if we like who we have played with
that's something i have never done, I have never met someone in a club and arranged to meet them outside, I've had a fair few people I have met in clubs ask me for my number but for some strange reason I'm always weary about meeting people I've met in clubs outside "
I can imagine it's more difficult for a female. As a couple we get chatting to so many people in the clubs that we couldn't possibly play with them all so we keep incontact on fab and meet them again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have been to a social at a club and went with a couple of friends from here, it was a great night but now I am about to go to a club near me for the first time and I am going alone. I am so nervous about it and because of this I messaged the club and they have been so kind and welcoming that I am going to swallow the nerves and go. Wish me luck!!!
Good luck honestly you will be totally fine, everyone is pretty protective of single women - but not to the extent that you can't be wild and do anything you want! Nobody is their to judge you, no is perfectly acceptable and yes feels fantastic "
Thank you very much |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As we never know if L is going to be in the country on a weekend or if I am going to be fit to go out and play we only do clubs these days, no arranging things just turn up and even if there is no one we fancy playing with L gets to wear outfits that she loves, but couldn't wear in the high street. and even if it ends up with us playing together in a locked room or not playing till we get home we have still had a great night. but obviously we are looking to meet and sometimes that means meeting later at ours or theirs as there isn't enough night left at the club or whatever. |
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"I'm too nervous to go alone to be honest.
It's the fear of walking into a new place and not knowing anyone, the layout or the etiquette. "
Same hereso am thinking of asking someone if they want to Come with me on a Wednesday morning for the 1st time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The first time I went to a club I went with a lovely couple but I was still extremely nervous but the place was great the people were very welcoming and I had a great night. But the second time I went I sat in the car park plucking up the courage to go in god knows why as I was welcomed again and had a great night it's like going to your local but with a bit of a twist  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It took us quite a few years to get the courage to go, but once started we can't stop - so what is stopping other people from going?
(Usual answer of too much money, is not accepted here, as we have been both as couple and singles and £25 for a night out is pretty damn good really! )"
Sorry but money IS an acceptable answer when you have kids to support on one income. £25 might seem good for a night out if you have that much to throw away but to me thats half a tank of fuel to get kids to school or me to work,or its a new pair of school shoes, a couple of days meals, two packs of nappies for the babies and milk formula. There is no way we would pay £25 to goto a club to do what we manage to do in our home for free! Plus neither of us drink so really dont see the point in going to pubs/clubs. Also as our profile states, I dont play I film Emily playing. I cant take a camcorder into a club so Id be stood there hands in pockets with nothing more than a memory at tge end of the night. Then theres the child care issue. We have no family within 100 miles to look after the kids so we dont have nights out, only child friendly days out. But in all honesty even if you could find a way to brush all those issues aside we still wouldnt go to a club. It just doesnt appeal to us |
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By *ethnmelv OP Couple
over a year ago
Cardiff |
"It took us quite a few years to get the courage to go, but once started we can't stop - so what is stopping other people from going?
(Usual answer of too much money, is not accepted here, as we have been both as couple and singles and £25 for a night out is pretty damn good really! )
Sorry but money IS an acceptable answer when you have kids to support on one income. £25 might seem good for a night out if you have that much to throw away but to me thats half a tank of fuel to get kids to school or me to work,or its a new pair of school shoes, a couple of days meals, two packs of nappies for the babies and milk formula. There is no way we would pay £25 to goto a club to do what we manage to do in our home for free! Plus neither of us drink so really dont see the point in going to pubs/clubs. Also as our profile states, I dont play I film Emily playing. I cant take a camcorder into a club so Id be stood there hands in pockets with nothing more than a memory at tge end of the night. Then theres the child care issue. We have no family within 100 miles to look after the kids so we dont have nights out, only child friendly days out. But in all honesty even if you could find a way to brush all those issues aside we still wouldnt go to a club. It just doesnt appeal to us "
Perfectly valid comment  we tend not to drink at clubs, so apart from getting in, it can be a cheap night and way more fun than going to the cinema - although I'm sure watching a film of Emily would be fun |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Clubs are definatly not my cup of Tea and the cost of a single guy to get into these places is horrific.
I get enough meets off here so dont need exploiting by club owners .
And i personally think clubs are great places for cpls to meet though . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Good luck honestly you will be totally fine, everyone is pretty protective of single women - but not to the extent that you can't be wild and do anything you want! Nobody is their to judge you, no is perfectly acceptable and yes feels fantastic "
This is my experience at most clubs I have been to. People are generally happy to chat to single females and the bar or reception staff should look after you if you need it.
I prefer clubs as they are safe and anonymous and as a single mum I don't want to bring random people off the net back to my home.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be honest i only really use clubs if I can't find a meet off here, I don't get much spare time to meet, once a month sometimes not even that so when I do have a free night I like to do something so if I can't find a meet off here i will go to a club but given the choice I would sooner have private meet, go for a drink, get a hotel etc |
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I love going to a certain club for the relaxation and security to me it brings. I fast lost faith in 121 meets after several no-shows that I now know to be fake profiles or men who talk the talk extremely well but failed the walking bit!
Maybe I just come across as 'Scary Mary' in my profile or just happen to know what I want..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Good luck honestly you will be totally fine, everyone is pretty protective of single women - but not to the extent that you can't be wild and do anything you want! Nobody is their to judge you, no is perfectly acceptable and yes feels fantastic
This is my experience at most clubs I have been to. People are generally happy to chat to single females and the bar or reception staff should look after you if you need it.
I prefer clubs as they are safe and anonymous and as a single mum I don't want to bring random people off the net back to my home. "
Thanks so much, your comments are really helping with the nerves |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm only interested in one on one meetings. I want to give my full attention to my partner, and I want hers in return. I have no desire to watch anyone else, or be watched. Each to their own, but clubs are not for me. |
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"I'm only interested in one on one meetings. I want to give my full attention to my partner, and I want hers in return. I have no desire to watch anyone else, or be watched. Each to their own, but clubs are not for me."
Clubs also have lockable private rooms too!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm just not comfortable unless it's somewhere where i know a few people. I used to always think those who message me are also the ones who attend the clubs as well. If i'm not their cup of tea on here, not sure how i would be there cuppa in person.
Weird correlation. But, that's how i used to be (and still kind of am).
 |
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By *ethnmelv OP Couple
over a year ago
Cardiff |
"I'm only interested in one on one meetings. I want to give my full attention to my partner, and I want hers in return. I have no desire to watch anyone else, or be watched. Each to their own, but clubs are not for me.
Clubs also have lockable private rooms too!!!!"
We started out in lovkable rooms & now like larger, open play ares |
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"I'm just not comfortable unless it's somewhere where i know a few people. I used to always think those who message me are also the ones who attend the clubs as well. If i'm not their cup of tea on here, not sure how i would be there cuppa in person.
Weird correlation. But, that's how i used to be (and still kind of am).
"
large mug of tea please! |
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I think there's a lot of valuable points raised but personally we have very rarely met outside of clubs, the first time I introduced the better half to Swinging was in a club with poss 150 in attendance, (yes am lucky to still be alive lol). But we love the social side and meeting people from a varying degree of backgrounds, so much so that we started working in one of the most established clubs in the country before taking on our own,
A Lot of people do however have the wrong preconceptions about what clubs are like,
I do think most clubs have good points and bad we have visited quite a few and quite look forward to visiting more,
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
I like clubs and find them very friendly, even on straight nights, which are the only ones I go on. I did once have an odd experience in one club, when I went with another TG. In the main room, no one came near us, but in the smoking area, or corridors and play areas the same people were exceedingly friendly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Perfectly valid comment we tend not to drink at clubs, so apart from getting in, it can be a cheap night and way more fun than going to the cinema - although I'm sure watching a film of Emily would be fun "
Id prefer the cinema to a club. I can turned down by people on here for free so why pay to be turned down face to face lol.
Yes watching films of Emily and friends is fun. Id love to see one in a sex cinema and watch a bunch of people playing with Emily while the film plays on the screen but I have always promised everyone we meet that nobody else ever sees the films and Ive never broken that promise. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm just not comfortable unless it's somewhere where i know a few people. I used to always think those who message me are also the ones who attend the clubs as well. If i'm not their cup of tea on here, not sure how i would be there cuppa in person.
Weird correlation. But, that's how i used to be (and still kind of am).
large mug of tea please! "
You can be my flask anytime
|
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I've never been to one mainly because I don't really wants go on my own and I suppose if you don't know what your going too your a lil nervous .....
I would have gone with a friend off here but she's not online anymore .... Even for the atmosphere. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I too think of going to a club, but then feel like I will be left alone as I am not white male.. Sorry to say that but I have seen so many profiles saying no Asians pls... Your opinion? |
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"I too think of going to a club, but then feel like I will be left alone as I am not white male.. Sorry to say that but I have seen so many profiles saying no Asians pls... Your opinion? "
My honest opinion is that's bloody stupid..... Everyone has different wants and preferences.... Tall, short, toned, more weighted , Asian, white, black ....... So that shouldn't come into it.
I would get left alone as a white male as you would ....... Least you would have someone to chill with |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I too think of going to a club, but then feel like I will be left alone as I am not white male.. Sorry to say that but I have seen so many profiles saying no Asians pls... Your opinion?
My honest opinion is that's bloody stupid..... Everyone has different wants and preferences.... Tall, short, toned, more weighted , Asian, white, black ....... So that shouldn't come into it.
I would get left alone as a white male as you would ....... Least you would have someone to chill with "
Hehe.. That is encouraging |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We like clubs but don't go as often as we would like, and yes that's due to cost, as there are no clubs close to us there's the fuel money, hotel for the night and entrance fee. |
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I've never been to an adult club. Until I joined fab swingers, I'm afraid I didn't realize there were such things! It just didn't occur to me. I've never been because a) there aren't any near me and b) I only meet locally due to lack of free time. I'm a club virgin. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We tend to go to clubs now rather than normal meets......had a couple if dodgy meets and let downs so its a lot less hassle.....
As for costs for us its a cheap night out and probably just as cheap as a private meet by the time you add fuel and drinkies
Plus being in lancashire there are plenty of clubs to go at! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I love clubs. Doesn't faze me going alone (prefer to go with friends tho) and always have a great time. Just wish I had more free time to go. Great cheap night out for ladies |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think there's a lot of valuable points raised but personally we have very rarely met outside of clubs, the first time I introduced the better half to Swinging was in a club with poss 150 in attendance, (yes am lucky to still be alive lol). But we love the social side and meeting people from a varying degree of backgrounds, so much so that we started working in one of the most established clubs in the country before taking on our own,
A Lot of people do however have the wrong preconceptions about what clubs are like,
I do think most clubs have good points and bad we have visited quite a few and quite look forward to visiting more,
"
So please give out your prices ?
As im sure your not exploiting single men ..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A night out in a bar costs us around a tenner cos neither of us really drink
Despite being a couple, being males (and therefore the couple moniker being unacceptable to a club owner), a night in a club would cost us considerably.
Therefore, the cost is a major issue and tbh the only thing that deters us.
So, if anyone can suggest a club that is reasonably accessible from Manchester, where we can both get in for less than say £20 to £30 on a friday night, saturday night or sunday afternoon, then we'd be more than happy to hear from ya |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm too nervous to go alone to be honest.
It's the fear of walking into a new place and not knowing anyone, the layout or the etiquette.
I have been to one once but it wasn't the best experience. It was very cliquey and rather run down.
Kinda put me off. "
Ive done the exat same thing only recently ...was nervous as hell and like you it defo wasnt my best experience 25 pound for an hour of beeing terified not good |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think at £25 for an hoir is cheap compared to most clubs .
Ive seen £50 for single males for a night and thats just the entrance fee .
There is actually equality laws in this country. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think at £25 for an hoir is cheap compared to most clubs .
Ive seen £50 for single males for a night and thats just the entrance fee .
There is actually equality laws in this country."
Cos everybody would go to a club that just had single men in it! It would be a sausagefest. Just like the way single men vastly outnumber the amount of women on here it is the same in the swinging world. I think most clubs get it right with the balance of men and women. Especially those that welcome single fems. Don't like? Don't go! Just get your meets off here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to go with a fb and I've considered going alone a few times since we parted ways but I just don't think I'd enjoy it without someone to share the experience with. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
i would say to people that if you cant just have a normal sensible conversation with people... then clubs and socials are unlikely to be for you in the first place....
i think the mistake people who haven't been to clubs make is that just because you are in a club... it's not in your face and you don't eat sleep and talk sex!!! in fact it is more likely to be the opposite....
the clubs i like going to are the "pub" type clubs.. where you can sit with people and chat all sorts of nonsense...actually I think it is a better way of getting to know people....
the fear of the unknown... whereas I find a simple "hello" goes a long long way.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't go to clubs, but not through fear or lack of confidence - it's just that I am a fairly quiet sorta chap who tends to take a back seat in any new social situation, and don't really come out of my shell until I'm very, very comfortable with the people present. Call it shyness if you like, but in reality I'm one of the louder people in all the places I spend my time in real life!
But at parties (not swinger ones, just regular ones) where I don't know everyone, I tend to just find a quiet spot and chat with one or two other 'quiet' people. In such situations, where there are a lot of people ho don't know each other, the conversation is invariably hogged by the people who talk the loudest and the longest (and are usually full off BS!) leaving the likes of me looking like miserable twats who don't wanna be there!"
Pete, I couldn't agree with you more..
I'm the same..
I've been to clubs before as a single guy and had a good time and some lovely fun but the amount of guys that seem to think they need to be aplha male is really off putting.. |
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Honestly I am not a swinger, you can call me old fashioned if you like, however in my view when 2 people are intimate with each other that is built through trust and chemistry, I can't just turn up and have sex just for sake of having sex. I was introduced to the site by a female friend of mine I joined to see what is all the fuss is about.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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its mainly being nervous of going into a strange unfamiliar environment as a single guy amongst couples and regular swingers , id be hesitant about pushing in as id be a stranger and most will know each other also if I was invited to get involved the anxiety to perform ive only ever had 1 to 1s |
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I can see the advantage of clubs for couples but as a single guy its not for me. It all depends what your inhibitions are too. For example, I'm not after group sex and I'm not interested in standing in a line of wanking men readying themsleves for a "greedy girl".
I also don't want to have sex on a wipe down vinyl bed that smells of disinfectant and has already been spunked on by seven other guys that night. It clearly doesn't bother some folk, but I'm much too a sensitive soul. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm too nervous to go alone to be honest.
It's the fear of walking into a new place and not knowing anyone, the layout or the etiquette.
I have been to one once but it wasn't the best experience. It was very cliquey and rather run down.
Kinda put me off. "
This. I find it incredibly daunting as a single male, especially considering some of the negative reviews due to other single guys ruining it for the rest of us. |
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We don't have any clubs in ni  but I did go to one while in London recently with a very trusted fb on a couples night. It was my first time ever (he has been to a couple) and I was extremely nervous and didn't know what to expect and had all kinds of "free for all madness"visions in my head (so not my type of thing) but in all honesty it was very friendly& relaxed ... People just chatting over a drink. .. The Play areas where clean and varied so you could engage with others or not as you wished. Tbh we kinda just kept to ourselves mostly,yhe voyeuristic vibe was sexy enough for us. . but we enjoyed it and would probably relax more if we ever have the opportunity again. It's the stepping into the unknown that's daunting and I wouldn't go alone tbh .... But it was fun and an experience .I would like to go to one of the bigger ones if I ever got the chance whereas before I would have found the idea a bit too nerve wracking .. Just go for it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It took us quite a few years to get the courage to go, but once started we can't stop - so what is stopping other people from going?
(Usual answer of too much money, is not accepted here, as we have been both as couple and singles and £25 for a night out is pretty damn good really! )"
No offence OP but saying its too much money is an unacceptable excuse is a bit of a niave statement, £25 may nt seem like much to you but it is a vital amount to a low income family, plus for some people there are other costs to incur. For example when i go to my local club with my other half (we play together and seperate) its £25 to enter, then neither of us drive so thats round £16 for anytime return train tickets, if we want to fully enjoy the experience its better to stay in an hotel, the cheapest weve found close by is just shy of £60 per night, then on.both travel days we need further £20 to buy south yourkshire bus savers to gets too and from train stations too, so thats around £121 just to start let alone the fat there are.minor cost incured such as buying condoms, beverages, renting lockers and possibly food if staying overnight, not.exactly a ceap night out afterall is it? |
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By *ethnmelv OP Couple
over a year ago
Cardiff |
"It took us quite a few years to get the courage to go, but once started we can't stop - so what is stopping other people from going?
(Usual answer of too much money, is not accepted here, as we have been both as couple and singles and £25 for a night out is pretty damn good really! )
No offence OP but saying its too much money is an unacceptable excuse is a bit of a niave statement, £25 may nt seem like much to you but it is a vital amount to a low income family, plus for some people there are other costs to incur. For example when i go to my local club with my other half (we play together and seperate) its £25 to enter, then neither of us drive so thats round £16 for anytime return train tickets, if we want to fully enjoy the experience its better to stay in an hotel, the cheapest weve found close by is just shy of £60 per night, then on.both travel days we need further £20 to buy south yourkshire bus savers to gets too and from train stations too, so thats around £121 just to start let alone the fat there are.minor cost incured such as buying condoms, beverages, renting lockers and possibly food if staying overnight, not.exactly a ceap night out afterall is it? "
I recognised your point from another poster earlier. It is not a dig at anbody, just an observation that it can be a relatively cheap night out. It is clear some people want to go every week & that is how they want to do things, yet others might only be able to go once a year. I was just interested in peoples views. No offence intended |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Went to club with a couple i know was ok had fun but would not go as single bloke again yes cost is massive influence but would not be like lot of blokes hanging around in hope of a grope just not my thing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have been invited to go as a couple a few times, but, to be honest, it has no appeal for me whatsoever, and for £50 I can get a decent room with a shower and a bottle of wine and spend the whole night adoring my woman. Know what I'd rather do |
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That's it!.... I became disinterested in "normal", "sensible" conversations a long time ago...
Give me the exciting, eccentric, complex charismatic every time.
Educate or entertain me, just never bore me! |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"It took us quite a few years to get the courage to go, but once started we can't stop - so what is stopping other people from going?
(Usual answer of too much money, is not accepted here, as we have been both as couple and singles and £25 for a night out is pretty damn good really! )
No offence OP but saying its too much money is an unacceptable excuse is a bit of a niave statement, £25 may nt seem like much to you but it is a vital amount to a low income family, plus for some people there are other costs to incur. For example when i go to my local club with my other half (we play together and seperate) its £25 to enter, then neither of us drive so thats round £16 for anytime return train tickets, if we want to fully enjoy the experience its better to stay in an hotel, the cheapest weve found close by is just shy of £60 per night, then on.both travel days we need further £20 to buy south yourkshire bus savers to gets too and from train stations too, so thats around £121 just to start let alone the fat there are.minor cost incured such as buying condoms, beverages, renting lockers and possibly food if staying overnight, not.exactly a ceap night out afterall is it? "
but with respect that isn't stopping you from actually going.... it is just stopping you from going as often as you would like...
i budget for going to clubs.... it means I can't travel to as many socials and clubs up and down the country as i use to because I have had to tighten my belt a lot.... but the ones I do fancy going to... I plan! |
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By *ethnmelv OP Couple
over a year ago
Cardiff |
"Sorry but £35 for cpls £5 for single females and £40 for single males really is the reason up north sexual discrimination plain and simple "
Whilst we don't own or run a club, we do understand the economics of them. Prices are set to attract a certain amount & mix of people & not really there to make money. Most of the club owners we have met do this because they enjoy it. We just appreciate the fact that they do, the world would be a lot duller without! |
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"Sorry but £35 for cpls £5 for single females and £40 for single males really is the reason up north sexual discrimination plain and simple
Whilst we don't own or run a club, we do understand the economics of them. Prices are set to attract a certain amount & mix of people & not really there to make money. Most of the club owners we have met do this because they enjoy it. We just appreciate the fact that they do, the world would be a lot duller without! "
sorry but to my perspective they are in it for the money it is a buisness after all and the price structure is set how it is to gain as many single fems as possible as that is what is required the most then cpls then single males I understand the reasoningdosnt change the fact Iits sexual discrimination that in the mainstream life has been wiped out nightclubs have a head price for just this reason |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It took us quite a few years to get the courage to go, but once started we can't stop - so what is stopping other people from going?
(Usual answer of too much money, is not accepted here, as we have been both as couple and singles and £25 for a night out is pretty damn good really! )
No offence OP but saying its too much money is an unacceptable excuse is a bit of a niave statement, £25 may nt seem like much to you but it is a vital amount to a low income family, plus for some people there are other costs to incur. For example when i go to my local club with my other half (we play together and seperate) its £25 to enter, then neither of us drive so thats round £16 for anytime return train tickets, if we want to fully enjoy the experience its better to stay in an hotel, the cheapest weve found close by is just shy of £60 per night, then on.both travel days we need further £20 to buy south yourkshire bus savers to gets too and from train stations too, so thats around £121 just to start let alone the fat there are.minor cost incured such as buying condoms, beverages, renting lockers and possibly food if staying overnight, not.exactly a ceap night out afterall is it?
but with respect that isn't stopping you from actually going.... it is just stopping you from going as often as you would like...
i budget for going to clubs.... it means I can't travel to as many socials and clubs up and down the country as i use to because I have had to tighten my belt a lot.... but the ones I do fancy going to... I plan!"
No it isnt stopping us and we do plan and budget for a visit i was merely saying that its not a 'cheap night out' for everyone as the OP had suggested it was. To the OP themselves dont worry your post caused me no offence, im thick skinned |
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By *ethnmelv OP Couple
over a year ago
Cardiff |
"It took us quite a few years to get the courage to go, but once started we can't stop - so what is stopping other people from going?
(Usual answer of too much money, is not accepted here, as we have been both as couple and singles and £25 for a night out is pretty damn good really! )
No offence OP but saying its too much money is an unacceptable excuse is a bit of a niave statement, £25 may nt seem like much to you but it is a vital amount to a low income family, plus for some people there are other costs to incur. For example when i go to my local club with my other half (we play together and seperate) its £25 to enter, then neither of us drive so thats round £16 for anytime return train tickets, if we want to fully enjoy the experience its better to stay in an hotel, the cheapest weve found close by is just shy of £60 per night, then on.both travel days we need further £20 to buy south yourkshire bus savers to gets too and from train stations too, so thats around £121 just to start let alone the fat there are.minor cost incured such as buying condoms, beverages, renting lockers and possibly food if staying overnight, not.exactly a ceap night out afterall is it?
but with respect that isn't stopping you from actually going.... it is just stopping you from going as often as you would like...
i budget for going to clubs.... it means I can't travel to as many socials and clubs up and down the country as i use to because I have had to tighten my belt a lot.... but the ones I do fancy going to... I plan!
No it isnt stopping us and we do plan and budget for a visit i was merely saying that its not a 'cheap night out' for everyone as the OP had suggested it was. To the OP themselves dont worry your post caused me no offence, im thick skinned "
That's good to know! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry but £35 for cpls £5 for single females and £40 for single males really is the reason up north sexual discrimination plain and simple
Whilst we don't own or run a club, we do understand the economics of them. Prices are set to attract a certain amount & mix of people & not really there to make money. Most of the club owners we have met do this because they enjoy it. We just appreciate the fact that they do, the world would be a lot duller without! sorry but to my perspective they are in it for the money it is a buisness after all and the price structure is set how it is to gain as many single fems as possible as that is what is required the most then cpls then single males I understand the reasoningdosnt change the fact Iits sexual discrimination that in the mainstream life has been wiped out nightclubs have a head price for just this reason"
Actually this hasn't been "wiped out" in mainstream life at all. More often than not when I'm out and about in London with a big group of my girlfriends, they'll get let in for free (sometimes I'll be given benefit of the doubt and allowed in without charge, too), but if I were to go in with a group of my guy friends, we would most certainly have to pay. That's just the way it is. |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
Why don't you go to clubs?
Simply because we have tried going to a couple and haven't enjoyed them especially Mr B.
We are both far more confident and comfortable in smaller groups/meeting 1-2-1. Plus we enjoy the personal side to a private meet rather than feeling like we are on a conveyor belt.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would lile to try a club, but the closest one is glasgow which is a 3 to 4 hour drive for me. I'll hopefully try one day to go.
If there was one in the highlands i would definitely try it. |
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