FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Do people mean what they say?
Do people mean what they say?
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By *izzy69 OP Man
over a year ago
London |
Does anyone find that even if a profile says that they want intelligent well composed messages and no crude one liners, that they are actually more likely to respond to one liner solicitations than intelligent messages that someone may have spent some effort on? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I put a status about this last week as some people are really up there arse especially on what they dictate from a message or a meet , some of their expectations are ultimately way to high from what they want like they need someone to put in hours of effort just to instigate a conversation and a meet as they are apparently too popular for majority of people |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When i message someone i don't right anything crude or sexual just why on here what there intrested in and at the end ill put message me back for chat and take things from there wouldn't just say fancy a fuck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's the avatar pic & the user name which attracts my initial attraction.
if they're not right for me the message is usually deleted regardless of what is written. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I put a status about this last week as some people are really up there arse especially on what they dictate from a message or a meet , some of their expectations are ultimately way to high from what they want like they need someone to put in hours of effort just to instigate a conversation and a meet as they are apparently too popular for majority of people "
I see those profile types as a handy filter. Means I don't need to bother mailing them.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends on the mood and the message, we would rather have a one liner than a war and peace copy and paste saying how someone has read our profile and that we match and then following us with some tripe that either is nothing to do with us or is exactly the opposite of what we are after.
Our system is look at the profile and then read the message.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me in order of priority:
Tone of message
Content of message
Profile
Verifications if published
Conversation
Preferences
Of total irrelevance
Pictures
username
But whatever works for you!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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From a single guys point of you, it is often difficult in knowing how to pitch that first message, to much detail, not enough detail, is it boring, is it a little forward etc etc
Oh the problems we face  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's the avatar pic & the user name which attracts my initial attraction.
if they're not right for me the message is usually deleted regardless of what is written."
This and the rest of the profile |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can't be assed to write a novel just to have it deleted. If someone doesn't respond to a simple hi then pointless even starting a Convo."
Hope that works for you |
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By *izzy69 OP Man
over a year ago
London |
"Most people respond to what they ask for. One liners are ignored by me... make it interesting or I wont be interested.... effort in = effort out"
That is actually exactly what I assume too: effort in = effort out
But that's not what I find. Effort is not really rewarded or even appreciated by most. Just ignored. Hence my posting. Who IS getting the responses? I believe it is ultimately based on what some have been honest enough to say here, their aesthetic preference. So why waste everyone's time asking for something conversant if that's all they were going to base their decision on.
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By *izzy69 OP Man
over a year ago
London |
"I put a status about this last week as some people are really up there arse especially on what they dictate from a message or a meet , some of their expectations are ultimately way to high from what they want like they need someone to put in hours of effort just to instigate a conversation and a meet as they are apparently too popular for majority of people "
It''s not just that. They get what they ask for and then discard it as if their time is more important than everyone else's |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'll usually look at the profile before the message, and if I like the profile and any pics then I'll respond providing the message isn't offensive or just plain gross like some of the fancy a fuck type ones. I don't need an opening essay for a first message as the majority of time I've decided whether to respond before I've opened it anyway... Unless the only pics are in the message then I'm still on the fence  |
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It is completely random. I've had responces to one liners (usually off the back of a Forum post) and also to longer messages - I always attach pictures if I'm interested as well.
Most messages get deleted, some get deleted unread. There doesn't seem to be any magic formula.
It is irritating when you spend a lot of time and effort in a message to just see it deleted, especially from profiles saying they will respond to all genuine messages, but I do understand a lot of the reasons why thst happens. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me in order of priority:
Tone of message
Content of message
Profile
Verifications if published
Conversation
Preferences
Of total irrelevance
Pictures
username
But whatever works for you!
"
This |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Crude, one liners, cock pics attatched or cock pic avatars all get deleted unopened. States this clearly on my profile. My expectations are high. Why the fuck would they not be! I can afford to be fussy and I will continue to be. Im here for my pleasure nobody elses. If that makes me up my own arse great! No sympathy shags here thank you. |
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"Most people respond to what they ask for. One liners are ignored by me... make it interesting or I wont be interested.... effort in = effort out
That is actually exactly what I assume too: effort in = effort out
But that's not what I find. Effort is not really rewarded or even appreciated by most. Just ignored. Hence my posting. Who IS getting the responses? I believe it is ultimately based on what some have been honest enough to say here, their aesthetic preference. So why waste everyone's time asking for something conversant if that's all they were going to base their decision on.
"
A well-crafted and tailored initial message may help your chances of a reply, but your plaintive tone seems to indicate that you expect it entitles you to a reply....
As you'll see from this and other threads, that sense of entitlement does not go down well. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Most people respond to what they ask for. One liners are ignored by me... make it interesting or I wont be interested.... effort in = effort out
That is actually exactly what I assume too: effort in = effort out
But that's not what I find. Effort is not really rewarded or even appreciated by most. Just ignored. Hence my posting. Who IS getting the responses? I believe it is ultimately based on what some have been honest enough to say here, their aesthetic preference. So why waste everyone's time asking for something conversant if that's all they were going to base their decision on.
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It's all of those things...the message gets their attention, but ultimately, most people have to at least have a modicum of attraction to the person they're going to be fucking...their time isn't more precious than yours but you're going to have to accept that no matter how witty and erudite you are, if they don't fancy you, they're not interested in you and therefore won't waste their time or yours entering into dialogue that will ultimately lead nowhere...sorry if that seems harsh, but that's the way it works in all walks of life, why would it be any different here? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There isnt a particular method which works for us some one liners work these are usually the witty type not the im free fancy a fuck type. If its witty we will look at profile look at veris and pics.
Then there are the long droning mails where guys feel the need to justify what theve done previously usually boring and get deleted in the same manner a crap one liner would.
So in essence it is difficult to get it right but politeness with humour usually gets a response. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nearly all the messages I get are one liners, with all the things women say they cant stand in their profiles and in the forums...
'Hey sexy'....'How are you'...'nice arse'...'want to meet'...'fancy a fuck' etc Not complaining, nice to get messages but does crack me up, imagine the response if I'd sent them lol.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It depends what were looking for at the time if we bother replying.
When were looking for single guys, if they have attached a face pic and the message is more than a hi how are you, we will reply even if to say no thanks
When were not looking for single guys and they message they more often than not get a instant delete, the really sexy guys might get a not looking at the moment look out for when we are, or the guys that have taken the time to right a decent message may get a reply as well
As for couples I used to say we respond to all couples but I do ignore the odd one  but if I look at their profile and don't think we fit in their criteria I don't bother replying as our inbox is kind of busy. I've been told off about this now and told by Paul I should always reply to couples as you nether know who you will get chatting to at socials
We reply to all fems who we believe are genuine, unverified (by the photo verification) joined recently lack of pictures on profile get deleted |
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By *izzy69 OP Man
over a year ago
London |
"Most people respond to what they ask for. One liners are ignored by me... make it interesting or I wont be interested.... effort in = effort out
That is actually exactly what I assume too: effort in = effort out
But that's not what I find. Effort is not really rewarded or even appreciated by most. Just ignored. my posting. Who IS getting the responses? I believe it is ultimately based on what some have been honest enough to say here, their aesthetic preference. So why waste everyone's time asking for something conversant if that's all they were going to base their decision on.
It's all of those things...the message gets their attention, but ultimately, most people have to at least have a modicum of attraction to the person they're going to be fucking...their time isn't more precious than yours but you're going to have to accept that no matter how witty and erudite you are, if they don't fancy you, they're not interested in you and therefore won't waste their time or yours entering into dialogue that will ultimately lead nowhere...sorry if that seems harsh, but that's the way it works in all walks of life, why would it be any different here?"
No you're not harsh, in fact you seem quite nice. I quite like your reasoning and to some degree it makes sense. But I do have to disagree that it's how it works in life. In life, one would be civil enough to say "no thanks because" and THEN walk away. |
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By *izzy69 OP Man
over a year ago
London |
"It depends what were looking for at the time if we bother replying.
When were looking for single guys, if they have attached a face pic and the message is more than a hi how are you, we will reply even if to say no thanks
When were not looking for single guys and they message they more often than not get a instant delete, the really sexy guys might get a not looking at the moment look out for when we are, or the guys that have taken the time to right a decent message may get a reply as well
As for couples I used to say we respond to all couples but I do ignore the odd one but if I look at their profile and don't think we fit in their criteria I don't bother replying as our inbox is kind of busy. I've been told off about this now and told by Paul I should always reply to couples as you nether know who you will get chatting to at socials
We reply to all fems who we believe are genuine, unverified (by the photo verification) joined recently lack of pictures on profile get deleted "
I might have been one of those guys who sent you an unsolicited message, lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I admit I look at their pics & if I don't like what I see I will say sorry but not for me or us please don't be offended..we have to have that attraction & be on the same page ect..k x |
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