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Dress code for a daytime social coffee meet
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ladies how would you dress for a social daytime coffee meet?
I had a coffee meet recently. Dressed smart but casual. Black skinny jeans. Nice top and a blazer, wedged shoes. Hair nice and natural make up. I thought i looked smart. Meet went well as i thought. Got home to find message in my inbox saying, sorry but i thought you looked rather mummsy, looked nothing anywhere near sexy or resembling a swinger. He had expected me to turn up in full make up, low cut top, short skirt(so he could cop a feel, his words not mine) stockings and heels. I messaged him back and said so sorry for not dressing how you wanted but dressed how i feel comfy and appropiate for a social meet. So was i too underdressed? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What a sad man. I turn up in what I want not what they want to get excited about. I don't wear the stuff he wanted for sex,I'm not putting it on for coffee. He has the wrong idea about swinging in my opinion,it's not about women being there to please the men,dressed in lingerie and looking like a tart |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The guy sounds like an unreconstructed arse - don't even think he was thinking of you as a person so much as an object onto which he could project his fantasies. Lucky escape... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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nah,,you did the right thing,,its what makes you feel comfortable that counts.
personally id wear a short dress with a low neck line boobs bulging,high heels mega makeup false lashes and a sawn off shotgun in my hand bag  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Think you dressed correct for a coffee meet,
He sounds like an inexperienced person in meeting etiquette .
I am sure he never turned up in just his undies so you could cop a load of him .  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Im not the smallest of ladies so somehow dont think i could have pulled off the look he wanted. Anybody who knows or have met me knows that i like to dress kind of smart but classy and not show too much off. And yes i agree i dress to suit me and fell comfortable |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't dress like that for a night meet never mind a day one and if anyone copped a feel of me in public he'd cop a feel of my hand back
Just because we are on a swingers site does not mean we shouldn't behave fitting in public |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd like to know what swingers are supposed to dress like so I can spot them in town 
Tight white pants
But what should menfolk wear?"
Baggy grey pants? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd like to know what swingers are supposed to dress like so I can spot them in town
Tight white pants
But what should menfolk wear?
Baggy grey pants? "
mmmm nom nom  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I wouldn't dress like that for a night meet never mind a day one and if anyone copped a feel of me in public he'd cop a feel of my hand back
Just because we are on a swingers site does not mean we shouldn't behave fitting in public"
Same here if he had tried to cop a feel |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
I always dress in what I feel comfortable in whether it's a social or a play meet. What I wear will often depend on the weather, where we are meeting and what we are doing after.
I'm sure that some people have been disappointed in my attire at some point, tough really!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd like to know what swingers are supposed to dress like so I can spot them in town
Tight white pants
But what should menfolk wear?"
. I've usually worn jeans, shoes and a decent polo top or jumper.. Smart enough for a coffee. Xx |
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"Ladies how would you dress for a social daytime coffee meet?
I had a coffee meet recently. Dressed smart but casual. Black skinny jeans. Nice top and a blazer, wedged shoes. Hair nice and natural make up. I thought i looked smart. Meet went well as i thought. Got home to find message in my inbox saying, sorry but i thought you looked rather mummsy, looked nothing anywhere near sexy or resembling a swinger. He had expected me to turn up in full make up, low cut top, short skirt(so he could cop a feel, his words not mine) stockings and heels. I messaged him back and said so sorry for not dressing how you wanted but dressed how i feel comfy and appropiate for a social meet. So was i too underdressed?"
I'm sure you looked lovely, as for him, tell him to take a flying leap!!! Knobber |
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There's a time n a place for everything! You wore what you wanted ( and sounds very smart ) and any man who thinks a woman gonna parade up the highstreet looking like she an extra from a Moulin Rouge production, is frankly a tadd deluded! Gotta laugh really! Lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ladies how would you dress for a social daytime coffee meet?
I had a coffee meet recently. Dressed smart but casual. Black skinny jeans. Nice top and a blazer, wedged shoes. Hair nice and natural make up. I thought i looked smart. Meet went well as i thought. Got home to find message in my inbox saying, sorry but i thought you looked rather mummsy, looked nothing anywhere near sexy or resembling a swinger. He had expected me to turn up in full make up, low cut top, short skirt(so he could cop a feel, his words not mine) stockings and heels. I messaged him back and said so sorry for not dressing how you wanted but dressed how i feel comfy and appropiate for a social meet. So was i too underdressed?"
What was he wearing?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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hmmmmmmmmmm I wish people would take my posts seriously,,,,,,,,,,,,,mikki struts out the room in a big huff |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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How dare he make the assumption that you would dress for him. It pisses me off no end when someone says what will you wear my response is whatever the fuck I like.
Touched a nerve with me as you can see.
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"Ladies how would you dress for a social daytime coffee meet?
I had a coffee meet recently. Dressed smart but casual. Black skinny jeans. Nice top and a blazer, wedged shoes. Hair nice and natural make up. I thought i looked smart. Meet went well as i thought. Got home to find message in my inbox saying, sorry but i thought you looked rather mummsy, looked nothing anywhere near sexy or resembling a swinger. He had expected me to turn up in full make up, low cut top, short skirt(so he could cop a feel, his words not mine) stockings and heels. I messaged him back and said so sorry for not dressing how you wanted but dressed how i feel comfy and appropiate for a social meet. So was i too underdressed?"
Perfectley dressed for the nature of the meet..a coffee |
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"How dare he make the assumption that you would dress for him. It pisses me off no end when someone says what will you wear my response is whatever the fuck I like.
Touched a nerve with me as you can see.
"
 The guy is an arsehole. Move on and meet someone less so.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You dressed perfectly fine for a social meet I have done them in smart jeans and I am a mumsey thats a turn on for many men
at the moment im dressed in heals smart evening dress in car outside school.told daughter to come to car as I would look a prat going in school playground like this lol (I got alot of driving for social then party) im not that eager lol |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
I always wear full make up, but that is every day not just for a meet, if I had a coffee meet I would be wearing a pair of jeans and a nice top and possibly heels....nothing outrageous so he sounds like a bit of an idiot to me! |
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"I always wear full make up, but that is every day not just for a meet, if I had a coffee meet I would be wearing a pair of jeans and a nice top and possibly heels....nothing outrageous so he sounds like a bit of an idiot to me! "
I'd buy you a coffee |
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I had a social meet last week and I went in whatever I had on anyway......its a social....a small portion of my limited time....ill wear whatever I put on that morning......
If I ever got called mumsy, id be quite pleased....I am a proud mother!
What the eff would you have said if you'd turned up in gym clothes?....too athletic? Arse |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would suggest you dressed appropriately for a coffee. I wouldn't expect someone to dress otherwise. The lady I met yesterday was dressed in jeans and a pink top. Nothing extrovert.
Your 'friend' was a complete arse! On the plus side you found out before playing. Which is the idea of a social, is it not? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would suggest you dressed appropriately for a coffee. I wouldn't expect someone to dress otherwise. The lady I met yesterday was dressed in jeans and a pink top. Nothing extrovert.
Your 'friend' was a complete arse! On the plus side you found out before playing. Which is the idea of a social, is it not?"
Totally agree, its just to get to know each other a bit and break the ice and lets face it, if it goes further, no clothes will be involved anyway!! |
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"Ladies how would you dress for a social daytime coffee meet?
I had a coffee meet recently. Dressed smart but casual. Black skinny jeans. Nice top and a blazer, wedged shoes. Hair nice and natural make up. I thought i looked smart. Meet went well as i thought. Got home to find message in my inbox saying, sorry but i thought you looked rather mummsy, looked nothing anywhere near sexy or resembling a swinger. He had expected me to turn up in full make up, low cut top, short skirt(so he could cop a feel, his words not mine) stockings and heels. I messaged him back and said so sorry for not dressing how you wanted but dressed how i feel comfy and appropiate for a social meet. So was i too underdressed?"
Probably didn't fancy you in the flesh and needed an excuse as your outfit sounds perfect for a coffee meet.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To me. You dressed perfect and even sounds classy and sexy. I much prefer that.
If you dress like that, i'm coming up for coffee.
Anytime "
I look forward to hearing from you.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ladies how would you dress for a social daytime coffee meet?
I had a coffee meet recently. Dressed smart but casual. Black skinny jeans. Nice top and a blazer, wedged shoes. Hair nice and natural make up. I thought i looked smart. Meet went well as i thought. Got home to find message in my inbox saying, sorry but i thought you looked rather mummsy, looked nothing anywhere near sexy or resembling a swinger. He had expected me to turn up in full make up, low cut top, short skirt(so he could cop a feel, his words not mine) stockings and heels. I messaged him back and said so sorry for not dressing how you wanted but dressed how i feel comfy and appropiate for a social meet. So was i too underdressed?"
what you wore sounds a perfect date outfit! Be you and never change for anyone. He has no taste. Too mumsy? More like yummy mummy! Should have told him you'd dress slutty for him, as long as he does the same for you and meets you wearing a thong whilst covered in baby oil!  |
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"I had a daytime coffee meet with red riding hood once.
Goodtimes
she even brought donughts .... "
I had a coffee meet with a lady dressed in leathers, she didn't know how sexy I thought she looked cos mr daft here decided not to mention it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Leather jacket, leather boots, kevlar pants, comfy shirt same as I tun up for am actual meet.
Or anywhere now I think about it.
Actually I only own one jacket, one pair of boots and about a dozen of the same shirt in different colours. I own a few pair of pants
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Leather jacket, leather boots, kevlar pants, comfy shirt same as I tun up for am actual meet.
Or anywhere now I think about it.
Actually I only own one jacket, one pair of boots and about a dozen of the same shirt in different colours. I own a few pair of pants
"
But you suit it!
I can't imagine seeing you in any different clothes other than your biker clothes, suit or work clothes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not read all this - but there are a small minority of men ( and most are lovely - so please don't go mad at me about this!) - who view fem swingers as 'free prostitutes' and therefore expect us to act and dress accordingly!
I'm with you - unless i'm going to an swingers club/ party in the evening then my dress code is classy - not tarty! I always wear nice matching lingerie though - in case things go so well that we wish to take things further! xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think you were dressed appropriately and your outfit sounds lovely.
Personally I wear a dress weather a day or night meet but that's because I feel sexier and more feminine in a dress. But it's day dresses in the daytime, ie maxi dress etc. Today I had a lunch time social and wore a knee length dress that showed off my curves in a subtle way.
He's in the wrong not u x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In summer i wear a dress or a long skirt and strappy top and flip flops or flat sandals. had no complaints. this time of year or winter, would be black trousers and a nice top for daytime. Ignore him, your outfit sounds good and his loss |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanku everyone. I thought i dressed in the right attire. I think personally it was a cop out. And what he was tryong to say was i wasnt his type. Hey ho like so many have said his loss. But thanku all for your feedback |
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"Ladies how would you dress for a social daytime coffee meet?
I had a coffee meet recently. Dressed smart but casual. Black skinny jeans. Nice top and a blazer, wedged shoes. Hair nice and natural make up. I thought i looked smart. Meet went well as i thought. Got home to find message in my inbox saying, sorry but i thought you looked rather mummsy, looked nothing anywhere near sexy or resembling a swinger. He had expected me to turn up in full make up, low cut top, short skirt(so he could cop a feel, his words not mine) stockings and heels. I messaged him back and said so sorry for not dressing how you wanted but dressed how i feel comfy and appropiate for a social meet. So was i too underdressed?"
Think you had a lucky escape, sounds like he was a total arse to me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Leather jacket, leather boots, kevlar pants, comfy shirt same as I tun up for am actual meet.
Or anywhere now I think about it.
Actually I only own one jacket, one pair of boots and about a dozen of the same shirt in different colours. I own a few pair of pants
"
Remember we are going shopping today |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ladies how would you dress for a social daytime coffee meet?
I had a coffee meet recently. Dressed smart but casual. Black skinny jeans. Nice top and a blazer, wedged shoes. Hair nice and natural make up. I thought i looked smart. Meet went well as i thought. Got home to find message in my inbox saying, sorry but i thought you looked rather mummsy, looked nothing anywhere near sexy or resembling a swinger. He had expected me to turn up in full make up, low cut top, short skirt(so he could cop a feel, his words not mine) stockings and heels. I messaged him back and said so sorry for not dressing how you wanted but dressed how i feel comfy and appropiate for a social meet. So was i too underdressed?"
Silly man. His loss I'm sure. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had a daytime coffee meet with red riding hood once.
Goodtimes
she even brought donughts ....
I had a coffee meet with a lady dressed in leathers, she didn't know how sexy I thought she looked cos mr daft here decided not to mention it "
Tut tut.
...guilty as charged over here too. Mind you, she did sit opposite me and text 'i cant do this. We need to go to a hotel'. Imagine what would have happened if i did say it.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sounds perfect attire hun, always dress for yourself not others.
I've turned upto a coffee meet before in my workout gear & ugg boots, now that was a good one lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Classy and sexy is the way to go. What you had in is what made you comfortable and sounds lovely. He has no idea. "And grope a feel" he would've got a Glasgow kiss for his attempt.. His loss what an idiot.. |
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By *jandjbCouple
over a year ago
Nr Manchester |
"Thanku everyone. I thought i dressed in the right attire. I think personally it was a cop out. And what he was tryong to say was i wasnt his type. Hey ho like so many have said his loss. But thanku all for your feedback "
People think they have to give a reason and pick on something to justify the fact that they really want to say thanks but no thanks; and just end up giving offence. Plenty more fish etc. |
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I think you had in 100% spot on
To switch the question around on you
I have been lucky enough to have secured a lunch date with a gorgeous woman off here
How would you expect a guy to dress for a lunch date? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ladies how would you dress for a social daytime coffee meet?
I had a coffee meet recently. Dressed smart but casual. Black skinny jeans. Nice top and a blazer, wedged shoes. Hair nice and natural make up. I thought i looked smart. Meet went well as i thought. Got home to find message in my inbox saying, sorry but i thought you looked rather mummsy, looked nothing anywhere near sexy or resembling a swinger. He had expected me to turn up in full make up, low cut top, short skirt(so he could cop a feel, his words not mine) stockings and heels. I messaged him back and said so sorry for not dressing how you wanted but dressed how i feel comfy and appropiate for a social meet. So was i too underdressed?"
I think you dressed perfectly for the occasion. But looked like you dodged a bullet he sounds very shallow.
You should have said your I'm a swinger t shirt is in the wash |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think you had in 100% spot on
To switch the question around on you
I have been lucky enough to have secured a lunch date with a gorgeous woman off here
How would you expect a guy to dress for a lunch date?"
Mankini and spurs |
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"I think you had in 100% spot on
To switch the question around on you
I have been lucky enough to have secured a lunch date with a gorgeous woman off here
How would you expect a guy to dress for a lunch date?
Mankini and spurs "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wouldn't dress like that for a night meet never mind a day one and if anyone copped a feel of me in public he'd cop a feel of my hand back
Just because we are on a swingers site does not mean we shouldn't behave fitting in public"
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"I'd like to know what swingers are supposed to dress like so I can spot them in town "
TUT! didnt you know we are ment to wear stockings and basques to Tescos!
i wear jeans to coffee meets! infact i have wore them to sexual meets on occasions...wear what ya cumfy in is my motto |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd like to know what swingers are supposed to dress like so I can spot them in town
TUT! didnt you know we are ment to wear stockings and basques to Tescos!
i wear jeans to coffee meets! infact i have wore them to sexual meets on occasions...wear what ya cumfy in is my motto "
yeap a deep sea diving costume |
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"Ladies how would you dress for a social daytime coffee meet?
I had a coffee meet recently. Dressed smart but casual. Black skinny jeans. Nice top and a blazer, wedged shoes. Hair nice and natural make up. I thought i looked smart. Meet went well as i thought. Got home to find message in my inbox saying, sorry but i thought you looked rather mummsy, looked nothing anywhere near sexy or resembling a swinger. He had expected me to turn up in full make up, low cut top, short skirt(so he could cop a feel, his words not mine) stockings and heels. I messaged him back and said so sorry for not dressing how you wanted but dressed how i feel comfy and appropiate for a social meet. So was i too underdressed?"
You dress in a style that you feel comfortable with. Smart casual seems right to me . Did not know that swingers had to dress in a certain manner . Their dress style is no different to anyone else's . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think you had in 100% spot on
To switch the question around on you
I have been lucky enough to have secured a lunch date with a gorgeous woman off here
How would you expect a guy to dress for a lunch date?
Mankini and spurs "
Way to go...yeehaw
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
It depends when I am meeting them.
If its an evening social meet, its generally a little black dress and heels - because it makes me feel confident and sexy.
Daytime - if its a work day, they get me suited and dressed for work. If its a weekend, likely a shirt and top - because thats my usual style. |
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"I think you had in 100% spot on
To switch the question around on you
I have been lucky enough to have secured a lunch date with a gorgeous woman off here
How would you expect a guy to dress for a lunch date?
Mankini and spurs
Way to go...yeehaw
"
Do I take my six shooter or not
|
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"Ladies how would you dress for a social daytime coffee meet?
I had a coffee meet recently. Dressed smart but casual. Black skinny jeans. Nice top and a blazer, wedged shoes. Hair nice and natural make up. I thought i looked smart. Meet went well as i thought. Got home to find message in my inbox saying, sorry but i thought you looked rather mummsy, looked nothing anywhere near sexy or resembling a swinger. He had expected me to turn up in full make up, low cut top, short skirt(so he could cop a feel, his words not mine) stockings and heels. I messaged him back and said so sorry for not dressing how you wanted but dressed how i feel comfy and appropiate for a social meet. So was i too underdressed?"
Nope. He's a dick. If he wanted to meet you in an easy-tear PVC outfit, he should have said. |
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He isn't the only man in here who thinks like this though is he. Loads of newcomers can't understand why they aren't inundated with women just desperate for sex. I think a certain group of people imagine women who swing to be different from women who don't.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ladies how would you dress for a social daytime coffee meet?
I had a coffee meet recently. Dressed smart but casual. Black skinny jeans. Nice top and a blazer, wedged shoes. Hair nice and natural make up. I thought i looked smart. Meet went well as i thought. Got home to find message in my inbox saying, sorry but i thought you looked rather mummsy, looked nothing anywhere near sexy or resembling a swinger. He had expected me to turn up in full make up, low cut top, short skirt(so he could cop a feel, his words not mine) stockings and heels. I messaged him back and said so sorry for not dressing how you wanted but dressed how i feel comfy and appropiate for a social meet. So was i too underdressed?"
'Cop a feel'. . . ? He was after more than just coffee, possibly . . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Update on this thread
The guy in question messaged me saying he wasnt too happy that i had posted this thread. Like i explained i just wanted to know others opinions and advice of this matter. But i did say that next time he goes on a social he should wear a tight tshirt saying im a swinger and a tiny pair of animal print thongs. Needless to say he didnt find it funny, said a few choices words and blocked me. Kettle calling pot black me thinks. Its ok for him to tell someone how to dress but not ok for others to do the same. Thank you everyone for all your comments and private messages. I shall carry on dressing to please me and not others |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Pleased or not, he obviously recognised himself for what he was! Nobody else's fault but his own. You asked a fair question and he obviously didn't like the answers.
He could have knocked your confidence.
If you continue to dress in what you are most comfortable in, then people get to see the 'real' you. Not some preconceived idea they have of you. If they don't like it, they have the option to not meet again, after all. |
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