FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Busy or rude?
Busy or rude?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I have always believed it was good manners to reply to someone suggesting a meet even if its only a no thanks. Yes I know women get tons of mail I was part of a couple and my other half got lots all the time. And yes the "nice tits wanna fuck" brigade should be deleted. But when someone has taken time to write a polite mail showing he has read said profile and explained about himself and what he is looking for doesn't he deserve a response even if its only a no thank you one? Women/couples complain single men don't read their profiles or get respect from them but then treat the writer with disrespect by not replying. Saying no thanks only takes seconds to do. Good manners cost nothing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Taken from the The Fab FAQ ........
There are too many rude people on here who don't reply to my messages!
It's not rude not to reply.
Some ladies and couples get hundreds of messages a day so it simply isn't possible for them to reply to everyone. If you don't get a response, you should assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. Are they giving the right message? Are you standing out from the thousands of other guys on here?
.........
If somebody deletes one of our messages without a reply we just take it that they are not interested as simple as that
Don't let it bother you
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have always believed it was good manners to reply to someone suggesting a meet even if its only a no thanks. Yes I know women get tons of mail I was part of a couple and my other half got lots all the time. And yes the "nice tits wanna fuck" brigade should be deleted. But when someone has taken time to write a polite mail showing he has read said profile and explained about himself and what he is looking for doesn't he deserve a response even if its only a no thank you one? Women/couples complain single men don't read their profiles or get respect from them but then treat the writer with disrespect by not replying. Saying no thanks only takes seconds to do. Good manners cost nothing "
Do you suggest a meet in the first message? |
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"I have always believed it was good manners to reply to someone suggesting a meet even if its only a no thanks. Yes I know women get tons of mail I was part of a couple and my other half got lots all the time. And yes the "nice tits wanna fuck" brigade should be deleted. But when someone has taken time to write a polite mail showing he has read said profile and explained about himself and what he is looking for doesn't he deserve a response even if its only a no thank you one? Women/couples complain single men don't read their profiles or get respect from them but then treat the writer with disrespect by not replying. Saying no thanks only takes seconds to do. Good manners cost nothing "
Do you reply to all your junk mail at home ? I think not i know i dont and here is no different.
unsolicited email gets filed under B for bin in my house lol
just because someone has sent a decent email does not mean it should be replied to .
Im way too busy replying to the emails from people i am interested in so why should i waste my time on the ones i aint?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You are also assuming they have even seen it! I think my inbox holds 110 mails before they drop off the bottom. So if you are number 111, I won't have seen it anyway, no matter how eloquently it was worded! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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many guys take a rejection as an invitation to try and start a conversation on here. Really isn't worth my time having manners, have hidden my profile coz I get too many messages I haven't had time to reply to as it is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I don't reply I ain't interested, it's really that simple! Most the guys I've said "thanks but no thanks" have mailed back with a shit load of abuse. So now I don't bother! Just take the hint and move on... It's not rocket science!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have always believed it was good manners to reply to someone suggesting a meet even if its only a no thanks. Yes I know women get tons of mail I was part of a couple and my other half got lots all the time. And yes the "nice tits wanna fuck" brigade should be deleted. But when someone has taken time to write a polite mail showing he has read said profile and explained about himself and what he is looking for doesn't he deserve a response even if its only a no thank you one? Women/couples complain single men don't read their profiles or get respect from them but then treat the writer with disrespect by not replying. Saying no thanks only takes seconds to do. Good manners cost nothing "
So for every message you send that gets deleted, you'd rather have just message back saying that they're not interested, they don't fancy you, you're too old, bald, white, wrinkly. Would you really, because I'd find that pretty disheartening to be honest. At least this way, you can kid yourself on that they're too busy instead of don't want to fuck you... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hey....you have had 8 meets. That puts you WAY ahead of most of the "competition" on here.
Moaning May just put you back in the pack with the rest of the whingers. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have you bothered to read, and adhered to, the profile? My profile states 4 main criteria, if any messages come from people outside that, and I check their profile first, I don't even read the message. Delete! |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
If someone has read the profile, they match what the other person is looking for and craft a well written massage, it would be polite to answer.
if it is a few words of nonsense in the first message, then No.
is it a given people will reply, No and there is no way of changing that.
I never quite get the junk mail thing, having a profile on here and one that states they are interested in meeting other people is an invite for others to get in touch..... Ones that state not meeting, not interested in contact, then that's different |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone has read the profile, they match what the other person is looking for and craft a well written massage, it would be polite to answer.
if it is a few words of nonsense in the first message, then No.
is it a given people will reply, No and there is no way of changing that.
I never quite get the junk mail thing, having a profile on here and one that states they are interested in meeting other people is an invite for others to get in touch..... Ones that state not meeting, not interested in contact, then that's different"
 I don't get the junk mail analogy either. Bit like having a massive sign on the house saying "I want pizza" then bitching a fit when someone offers them pizza. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Whether it's rude or not, and I always prefer to be polite, it's simply not possible to respond to every message. Also, I factor in my availability, there's no point in wasting someone's time if I don't have the time to meet them. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I have been swinging for years rejection doesn't bother me I never expect to appeal to everyone but after reading the replies I'm big enough to admit that I was wrong!! I must have left my common sense in a drawer somewhere overnight. Sorry guys  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I respond to all mine,one or two might slip off the page when I'm chatting. I have made it so I don't get a hundred messages a day and can respond to all |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Understand the reasons for not replying to emails (number of emails, fancy a stag emails and rude people to polite no's). It won't change so I am not worried about it however it would be nice for people to have some empathy with genuine singles who take 5 to 10 mins out of the day to read your profiles and email you. Happy swinging |
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"If someone has read the profile, they match what the other person is looking for and craft a well written massage, it would be polite to answer.
if it is a few words of nonsense in the first message, then No.
is it a given people will reply, No and there is no way of changing that.
I never quite get the junk mail thing, having a profile on here and one that states they are interested in meeting other people is an invite for others to get in touch..... Ones that state not meeting, not interested in contact, then that's different
I don't get the junk mail analogy either. Bit like having a massive sign on the house saying "I want pizza" then bitching a fit when someone offers them pizza. "
I think it's about meeting the criteria. I used to try to reply to everyone but if I get messages from people who have not even read the first para of my profile and clearly do not meet one single criteria, then I consider them equivalent to junk mail and feel under no obligation! !
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone has read the profile, they match what the other person is looking for and craft a well written massage, it would be polite to answer.
if it is a few words of nonsense in the first message, then No.
is it a given people will reply, No and there is no way of changing that.
I never quite get the junk mail thing, having a profile on here and one that states they are interested in meeting other people is an invite for others to get in touch..... Ones that state not meeting, not interested in contact, then that's different
I don't get the junk mail analogy either. Bit like having a massive sign on the house saying "I want pizza" then bitching a fit when someone offers them pizza. "
I agree to an eextent, but to use your analogy it's also fair to say that if you wanted a pizza tgen the junk mail offering you a curry or a deal on broadband would go straight in the bin without a second thought |
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I try to answer them with a polite no thank you but sometimes if I log in at work I will read mail and reply later, sometimes I forget to reply, sometimes I delete if they are out of my preferred age range, I have mailed people who haven't replied to me, it's no big deal and their prerogative |
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By *cejasMan
over a year ago
CANNOCK |
"I have always believed it was good manners to reply to someone suggesting a meet even if its only a no thanks. Yes I know women get tons of mail I was part of a couple and my other half got lots all the time. And yes the "nice tits wanna fuck" brigade should be deleted. But when someone has taken time to write a polite mail showing he has read said profile and explained about himself and what he is looking for doesn't he deserve a response even if its only a no thank you one? Women/couples complain single men don't read their profiles or get respect from them but then treat the writer with disrespect by not replying. Saying no thanks only takes seconds to do. Good manners cost nothing "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone has read the profile, they match what the other person is looking for and craft a well written massage, it would be polite to answer.
if it is a few words of nonsense in the first message, then No.
is it a given people will reply, No and there is no way of changing that.
I never quite get the junk mail thing, having a profile on here and one that states they are interested in meeting other people is an invite for others to get in touch..... Ones that state not meeting, not interested in contact, then that's different
I don't get the junk mail analogy either. Bit like having a massive sign on the house saying "I want pizza" then bitching a fit when someone offers them pizza.
I agree to an eextent, but to use your analogy it's also fair to say that if you wanted a pizza tgen the junk mail offering you a curry or a deal on broadband would go straight in the bin without a second thought"
Good point.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Understand the reasons for not replying to emails (number of emails, fancy a stag emails and rude people to polite no's). It won't change so I am not worried about it however it would be nice for people to have some empathy with genuine singles who take 5 to 10 mins out of the day to read your profiles and email you. Happy swinging "
We don't know which are genuine and don't care to bother to find out. I'm old now and sad fact of life is manners often hinder situations rather than help (for yourself). |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
With our filters set we get a managable amount of messages. If someone has clearly taken the time to read our profile then we will generally take the time to reply, whether we are interested or not.
One liners or disrespectful messages just get deleted.
When we message others if they don't reply then we simply assume they are not interested. The world doesn't stop spinning because we haven't had a reply... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If someone has taken the time to write something specific and interesting then we will usually reply.
We do not reply to "How r u?" As it shows clearly and unambiguiously they just want to fuck and have no interest in us at all.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"With our filters set we get a managable amount of messages. If someone has clearly taken the time to read our profile then we will generally take the time to reply, whether we are interested or not.
One liners or disrespectful messages just get deleted.
When we message others if they don't reply then we simply assume they are not interested. The world doesn't stop spinning because we haven't had a reply..."
this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Get over it and move on most i try to reply to but some i cannot be bothered because to be honest have no interest in that particular person i assume when i have messaged folk and get no reply i assume its same for them.
No one should expect a reply and be grateful if you do i am. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Isnt it just as rude to expect a reply.
Ask yourself this if you were walking down a street and you said hello to someone. If they didnt reply do you chase after them asking why?
Would it make you feel any better receiving a copy and pasted no thanks they send to you and the other umpteen guys they day no too.
Really dont understand why guys think its rude if people dont say no thanks personally. |
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"If someone has read the profile, they match what the other person is looking for and craft a well written massage, it would be polite to answer.
if it is a few words of nonsense in the first message, then No.
is it a given people will reply, No and there is no way of changing that.
I never quite get the junk mail thing, having a profile on here and one that states they are interested in meeting other people is an invite for others to get in touch..... Ones that state not meeting, not interested in contact, then that's different
I don't get the junk mail analogy either. Bit like having a massive sign on the house saying "I want pizza" then bitching a fit when someone offers them pizza. "
no it isnt, its a similar thing used as an example, just because your house happens to be within radius of takeaways, they drop you a menu, doesnt mean they expect, warrant or are owed a reply, similarly on here you create a profile for your reasons, someone sends you a message thinking they are compatible, are in the same area, etc, doesnt mean they are, and doesnt warrant a reply, replying or not has nothing to do with manners, not reading site rules before using a site however does. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have always believed it was good manners to reply to someone suggesting a meet even if its only a no thanks. Yes I know women get tons of mail I was part of a couple and my other half got lots all the time. And yes the "nice tits wanna fuck" brigade should be deleted. But when someone has taken time to write a polite mail showing he has read said profile and explained about himself and what he is looking for doesn't he deserve a response even if its only a no thank you one? Women/couples complain single men don't read their profiles or get respect from them but then treat the writer with disrespect by not replying. Saying no thanks only takes seconds to do. Good manners cost nothing "
How long have you held this belief? |
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