FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Playing on a first "Date"
Playing on a first "Date"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There's been an odd few times when I've had fun on first meet but that's rare and had been talking/camming for months but I do feel safer going on a social first it helps break the ice too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it ok to want to meet for a drink and maybe arrange another playdate?
Or do people prefer to get down to business on a first meeting?
xx"
We haven't played on a first date yet it usually takes a couple of meets forus to feel relaxed and get to know someone enough.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's totally upto you
I prefer to play first meet, I always meet for a drink first but if we get on and both want to have sex I see not point in going home and arranging for another time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't have dates. I'm here to meet guys for sex. I don't rush into that, but I meet for no other reason.
I think I go against the grain though. "
Apparently that makes me a floozy....well so be it. I'm here for sex. Not to make friends. I have plenty I can have coffee with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't have dates. I'm here to meet guys for sex. I don't rush into that, but I meet for no other reason.
I think I go against the grain though.
Apparently that makes me a floozy....well so be it. I'm here for sex. Not to make friends. I have plenty I can have coffee with."
About the floozy thing. That was a joke. That's why I did the winky face. Just thought I'd get that in before I get another ban. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have never had a social first, then met again at a later date, so I'm surprised people posting on here seem to mainly have socials first. Nothing wrong with that, just surprised! Normally will have a drink or two before fun though. Helps people unwind, I think |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I tend to try to get to know the other person whether that is meeting up for a drink before hand or having a skype call I think its important to see how your face to face attraction is."
Well I do neither so guess we ain't meeting!  |
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"I tend to try to get to know the other person whether that is meeting up for a drink before hand or having a skype call I think its important to see how your face to face attraction is.
Well I do neither so guess we ain't meeting! "
Haha tbf I probably know more than I should my message 
Anyway theres always exceptions to the rule |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It depends on the people involved - and we all HAVE to go at our own pace.
As for myself I am happy to knock on a door, say "Hi" (we exchange pics!) and then to drop my pants.
I am equally aware that some people only feel comfortable after several socials to even begin playing.
Respect goes both ways - don't call people floozies who get to things quick, but don't push people into things to fast when it's not right for them.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't have dates. I'm here to meet guys for sex. I don't rush into that, but I meet for no other reason.
I think I go against the grain though.
Apparently that makes me a floozy....well so be it. I'm here for sex. Not to make friends. I have plenty I can have coffee with."
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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago
Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you) |
We have never done a social, I decide if I like someone by looking at their pics and seeing how the messages go. Once I decide to meet then it's game on it's never been a problem for us and we have lots of repeat meets and have made some really good friends so we must be doing something right |
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"Have never had a social first, then met again at a later date, so I'm surprised people posting on here seem to mainly have socials first. Nothing wrong with that, just surprised! Normally will have a drink or two before fun though. Helps people unwind, I think"
I lived with my adult daughters. I played at home when they were at work/uni. I don't play nice I have whips, brackets, cuffs etc. Both I and my playmates need to feel comfortable. I've had playmates meet me several times socially before playing: men are vulnerable too.
I've heard horror stories of women turning up at hotels to be met by groups of men instead of one. Men turning up uninvited, getting their address via the cab company.
Personally I need to feel comfortable and safe: I've dodged more than one bullet meeting socially first! |
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"We have never done a social, I decide if I like someone by looking at their pics and seeing how the messages go. Once I decide to meet then it's game on it's never been a problem for us and we have lots of repeat meets and have made some really good friends so we must be doing something right "
Safety in numbers. Your hubby is watching your back. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think anyone who has sex on the first night is a complete and utter floozy. "
Floozy me then as on occasions I have and the last one, I suggested it myeslf |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have never had a social first, then met again at a later date, so I'm surprised people posting on here seem to mainly have socials first. Nothing wrong with that, just surprised! Normally will have a drink or two before fun though. Helps people unwind, I think
I lived with my adult daughters. I played at home when they were at work/uni. I don't play nice I have whips, brackets, cuffs etc. Both I and my playmates need to feel comfortable. I've had playmates meet me several times socially before playing: men are vulnerable too.
I've heard horror stories of women turning up at hotels to be met by groups of men instead of one. Men turning up uninvited, getting their address via the cab company.
Personally I need to feel comfortable and safe: I've dodged more than one bullet meeting socially first!"
I once met a guy who was attacked by a woman and ended up with a scar on his face from the knife she pulled out of her handbag in a crowded put so yes I agree with men being vulnerable too |
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By *jandjbCouple
over a year ago
Nr Manchester |
"Have never had a social first, then met again at a later date, so I'm surprised people posting on here seem to mainly have socials first. Nothing wrong with that, just surprised! Normally will have a drink or two before fun though. Helps people unwind, I think"
We meet people in clubs or at parties and could veto going further if we wanted to - but have never had to. Of course we have chatted on here first including responding to people who have put up meets, or putting up a meet ourselves. |
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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago
Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you) |
"We have never done a social, I decide if I like someone by looking at their pics and seeing how the messages go. Once I decide to meet then it's game on it's never been a problem for us and we have lots of repeat meets and have made some really good friends so we must be doing something right
Safety in numbers. Your hubby is watching your back."
You are absolutely right, if I were a single girl I would probably only meet in clubs where there are other people around. It's different for everyone and what works for one may not work for others. I have never felt pressured or threatened so I am lucky and while it is working for me I am happy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's entirely up to the people who are meeting for their date ,,, this seems to be the problem within these forums and people judge others one thing I hate in life. Meet socially safely first and decide as adults together what you want to do |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It varies, when I was single I almost always met for a social but was never adverse to that moving on to play if ut went well. I'd guess around 2 out of 3 meets played after a social.
As a couple we pretty much only meet other couples in clubs or at fet events and would look to play on a first met assuming that the chemistry is there. With single females it's different, we only tend to play with ones that we've known for some time in the real world and invariably play the long game |
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I don't really do dates and have only had a few socials, it takes me quite a while to decide to meet someone as I like to get to know their personality, that helps me decide if they are going to be a chat buddy or someone I want to meet for sex |
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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago
Bristol |
"It's totally upto you
I prefer to play first meet, I always meet for a drink first but if we get on and both want to have sex I see not point in going home and arranging for another time"
Yes, that's how we feel. Social meet, then if all are comfortable and attracted to each other, let things heat up and make the night exciting! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It depends on how we feel when we meet - if the attraction is there and we want to take things further then we do. If not, then there probably won't be a second meet anyway |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't have dates. I'm here to meet guys for sex. I don't rush into that, but I meet for no other reason.
I think I go against the grain though.
Apparently that makes me a floozy....well so be it. I'm here for sex. Not to make friends. I have plenty I can have coffee with."
Absolutely .... same here !
Call us what you will , it's about meeting like minded folk for mutual sexually pleasure |
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"We have never done a social, I decide if I like someone by looking at their pics and seeing how the messages go. Once I decide to meet then it's game on it's never been a problem for us and we have lots of repeat meets and have made some really good friends so we must be doing something right "
100% Agree. Do all the talking, swapping pics, texts, calls etc on here or phone , then meet for fantastic sex. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't have dates. I'm here to meet guys for sex. I don't rush into that, but I meet for no other reason.
I think I go against the grain though.
Apparently that makes me a floozy....well so be it. I'm here for sex. Not to make friends. I have plenty I can have coffee with."
agree I'm here purely for sex also |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There's been an odd few times when I've had fun on first meet but that's rare and had been talking/camming for months but I do feel safer going on a social first it helps break the ice too"
Maybe single girls take less risks ( quite rightly) and need more reassurance before getting naked with a stranger.
As a couple I have a big strong hubby as my reassurance so we do a bit of research and choose carefully so always feel comfy playing on the first meet, in fact we've never "socialised" and returned for a bit of hows your father. We just dont have the time to be doubling up on meets to be honest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am happy to do whatever the woman/couple want. 4 times I've been asked to meet socially first and all 4 times it has led to the bedroom the same night. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am happy to do whatever the woman/couple want. 4 times I've been asked to meet socially first and all 4 times it has led to the bedroom the same night. "
Because there was a choice. It wasn't written in stone that it had to be a sex meet  |
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"I don't have dates. I'm here to meet guys for sex. I don't rush into that, but I meet for no other reason.
I think I go against the grain though.
Apparently that makes me a floozy....well so be it. I'm here for sex. Not to make friends. I have plenty I can have coffee with."
SNAP! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Down to the individual.
I've had socials, socials that have turned into playing and also been invited to play without a social. All at the suggestion of the other parties.
I generally offer to meet for a social first, especially for a single female as I think it helps for them to get a feel for me. No pun intended!! |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
We don't have a set rule...we just take each meet as it comes.
Would say we have played on the 1st meet more often than not. It's not something that we expect as are equally happy with just a social only meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We played on our first meet with a woman and it was her that said "shell we go up stairs or play here" we was nervous but had a good time,but wed meet for a social or play as long as the wife's happy then its all good |
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I have played on sex only first meets and I am happy that, those that did so, felt happy to meet without the need for a social.
I have had a social that ended in sex a couple of times as well.
I am easy going and go with whatever my playmate chooses.
I have no preference, with the immediate sexual release of play meets being balanced out by the teasing and flirting of a social.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why not combine the two? Go for a social with the play part organised for the same day - if you don't get on, fine - no pressure. If you do, great, no waiting! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've met ladies and played with them straight away and also waited until the second date/meet until anything has happened.
If it happens on the first date then great, but do not mind being patient and waiting until the lady is comfortable to let me into her inner space.
A hungry predator is not always a good trait to have. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends on how much we've chatted etc if I feel at ease and find a physical attraction then I will leave out the social meet and just go for a play meet..I do get nervous but I think it adds to the buzz of it all |
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We are meeting a couple next week. We will all have a drink and bit of a chat and if we get on we will go to our hotel for some play. Certainly didn't book a hotel in london with the intentions of not getting them in our room.... Same as a swinging club.. if we see someone we like over you go for chat and play
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We meet, we like, we play! We don't like, we don't play it's that simple with us.
If we've done our homework properly i.e. scrutinised the profile, read between the lines, exchanged face pics and gone phwoar he,she,they are Hot! Exchanged phone calls and thought they seemed nice. Then gone to all the trouble to book hotel etc etc then 80% of the time we will play. Obviously if said meet turns out to look like Fred and Rosemary West we are down the road. |
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Everyone on here meets/plays differently, but as long as the people you are meeting know that the 1st meeting will only be a social, then go for it.
I only meet in clubs so I often play the 1st time I meet them. I never do socials. My choice and it works for me. |
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Hate people saying I don't play on first meet.that is why I insist seeing me cam first. I don't want to leave my house meeting for a drink. Then telling me we have to arrange a different date to play.
To me that's very prudish and laid back attitude.this is a swing site.not a dating site. Presume that why most single guys prefer swing- club to 1 to 1 meet.
To me. I like one to one meet so that I can express my sexual desire. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's all personal choice isn't it?? I'm happy to meet just to meet for socials then arrange another time equally as much as meeting for a drink and if all parties are happy then playing on the same occasion.....everybody is different and that's what makes it so fun.
Speaking of which, I'm looking for a couple to meet for drinks in Derbyshire on Sunday alongside my welsh lady friend Emily.....anyone interested....give one us a buzz |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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2 of my meets I played after first meeting them. They were after talking for a while on this site.
If not through the site, I'd have met them at a social and if anything happens, it happens.
There has to be a mutual attraction, otherwise a 'one-off' would be more forgettable.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hate people saying I don't play on first meet.that is why I insist seeing me cam first. I don't want to leave my house meeting for a drink. Then telling me we have to arrange a different date to play.
To me that's very prudish and laid back attitude.this is a swing site.not a dating site. Presume that why most single guys prefer swing- club to 1 to 1 meet.
To me. I like one to one meet so that I can express my sexual desire."
The old "this is not a dating site" adage. Play after coffee may happen or not happen but it is good to know that you do not leave home without a guarantee of sex. Well, stick with those who do not care who they play with as long as they do. To me this is a bit robotic, I need to like the person/s a lot to play with them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hate people saying I don't play on first meet.that is why I insist seeing me cam first. I don't want to leave my house meeting for a drink. Then telling me we have to arrange a different date to play.
To me that's very prudish and laid back attitude.this is a swing site.not a dating site. Presume that why most single guys prefer swing- club to 1 to 1 meet.
To me. I like one to one meet so that I can express my sexual desire.
The old "this is not a dating site" adage. Play after coffee may happen or not happen but it is good to know that you do not leave home without a guarantee of sex. Well, stick with those who do not care who they play with as long as they do. To me this is a bit robotic, I need to like the person/s a lot to play with them."
You're implying that those of us who don't meet for coffee first don't care who we play with.....thats rather insulting. |
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"Its up to the individual most I think like to have a social first to make sure there's an attraction "
I usually chat to my victims, er... I mean playmates so  for a bit first and tend to get to know them well before playing - so it varies really.
I prefer a social meet first, generally. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hate people saying I don't play on first meet.that is why I insist seeing me cam first. I don't want to leave my house meeting for a drink. Then telling me we have to arrange a different date to play.
To me that's very prudish and laid back attitude.this is a swing site.not a dating site. Presume that why most single guys prefer swing- club to 1 to 1 meet.
To me. I like one to one meet so that I can express my sexual desire.
The old "this is not a dating site" adage. Play after coffee may happen or not happen but it is good to know that you do not leave home without a guarantee of sex. Well, stick with those who do not care who they play with as long as they do. To me this is a bit robotic, I need to like the person/s a lot to play with them.
You're implying that those of us who don't meet for coffee first don't care who we play with.....thats rather insulting."
A 2D image can deceive. I know mine does. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I have been chatting to someone for a while and had phone conversations then I meet to have sex. In all the time I have been here I have never had a bad meet or regretted my decision . my life is to short for socials.
I have Facebook for that. Lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hate people saying I don't play on first meet.that is why I insist seeing me cam first. I don't want to leave my house meeting for a drink. Then telling me we have to arrange a different date to play.
To me that's very prudish and laid back attitude.this is a swing site.not a dating site. Presume that why most single guys prefer swing- club to 1 to 1 meet.
To me. I like one to one meet so that I can express my sexual desire.
The old "this is not a dating site" adage. Play after coffee may happen or not happen but it is good to know that you do not leave home without a guarantee of sex. Well, stick with those who do not care who they play with as long as they do. To me this is a bit robotic, I need to like the person/s a lot to play with them.
You're implying that those of us who don't meet for coffee first don't care who we play with.....thats rather insulting.
A 2D image can deceive. I know mine does. "
and if that was the case I'd turn around and go home again. |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
No way would I ever feel comfortable commiting to someone I have never met in the flesh, that I would even kiss them.
Social meet for me first.
If that doesn't work for some that's really Just another helpful filter. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hate people saying I don't play on first meet.that is why I insist seeing me cam first. I don't want to leave my house meeting for a drink. Then telling me we have to arrange a different date to play.
To me that's very prudish and laid back attitude.this is a swing site.not a dating site. Presume that why most single guys prefer swing- club to 1 to 1 meet.
To me. I like one to one meet so that I can express my sexual desire.
The old "this is not a dating site" adage. Play after coffee may happen or not happen but it is good to know that you do not leave home without a guarantee of sex. Well, stick with those who do not care who they play with as long as they do. To me this is a bit robotic, I need to like the person/s a lot to play with them.
You're implying that those of us who don't meet for coffee first don't care who we play with.....thats rather insulting.
A 2D image can deceive. I know mine does.
and if that was the case I'd turn around and go home again. "
Same here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hate people saying I don't play on first meet.that is why I insist seeing me cam first. I don't want to leave my house meeting for a drink. Then telling me we have to arrange a different date to play.
To me that's very prudish and laid back attitude.this is a swing site.not a dating site. Presume that why most single guys prefer swing- club to 1 to 1 meet.
To me. I like one to one meet so that I can express my sexual desire."
My first meets are always coffee, no play. I always make sure they are happy with that. if not, we don't meet. It's certainly not a date either.
I will wear my 'prude' badge with pride. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe i've been 'lucky', if that is the right word. I usually like to meet up for a social first and take it from there - you never know if the spark is going to be there when you meet face to face. But, most of my meets which started off as being socials ended up being something more.
Think there are different kinds of meet you have with people.
There's some you'd meet just socially. Nothing more, nothing less. Both on the same wavelength and not wanting more. Then you have those meets where you'd like a social to see if things can progress. And then, you have others where there's no time for a social but just pure lust and desire - which is sometimes nice too.
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"I think anyone who has sex on the first night is a complete and utter floozy. "
We're here to swing, not romance, unless we're REALLY put off. But we all play it how we prefer to, right?
You need to do what suits yourselves, not others. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think anyone who has sex on the first night is a complete and utter floozy.
We're here to swing, not romance, unless we're REALLY put off. But we all play it how we prefer to, right?
You need to do what suits yourselves, not others. "
I must rethink how I write stuff in the future. A few people have taken offence to my comment it seems. I have said it once on this thread , I will say it again. This was a joke. Think about it. This is a sex site, so why would I be calling people who have sex on the first night floozys. Even the word floozy is funny. And to top it off... winky face. That was the next clue. I am finding it hilarious when you are challenging me on a joke. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think anyone who has sex on the first night is a complete and utter floozy.
We're here to swing, not romance, unless we're REALLY put off. But we all play it how we prefer to, right?
You need to do what suits yourselves, not others.
I must rethink how I write stuff in the future. A few people have taken offence to my comment it seems. I have said it once on this thread , I will say it again. This was a joke. Think about it. This is a sex site, so why would I be calling people who have sex on the first night floozys. Even the word floozy is funny. And to top it off... winky face. That was the next clue. I am finding it hilarious when you are challenging me on a joke. "
You joke was blatantly obvious but there will always be those that are naturally defensive so will take offence at tongue in cheek comments |
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Always a coffee or a drink first .... But I usually dress for the occasion and take my toy bag just in case .... I'm a tad impatient and those ones where we both want to play, but can't right then for what ever reason and there has not been more than a kiss goodbye in the car park are ooooh so frustrating !! |
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