FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Alcohol on meets, yes no or dont care
Alcohol on meets, yes no or dont care
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Had a couple chatting to me tonight, all up for meeting till they offered to bring wine, I told them that was fine and they would be welcome to drink it but that Emily and I don't drink so wouldn't share it, suddenly we were blocked?
I'm not going oh boo hoo I was blocked etc, I'm used to that, moved on etc etc, I'm just wondering how many others place so much importance on alcohol that you wouldn't meet somebody who didn't drink??  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I, like you, don't drink but, again like you, don't object to others doing so if they so wish.
I had one meet where the lady had consumed one or two glasses of wine (perhaps too many) and I felt it actually spoiled the meet to an extent.
I can appreciate that some may feel the need to have a drink or two to loosen up, and it certainly wouldn't put me off meeting.
I won't, however, meet if drugs are likely to be present.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont often bring men here but on the rare occasion that i do i do like a drink but when i have a night to myself....which is rare....i like to drink anyway. The fact that a guy didnt wish to drink aswell wouldnt bother me  |
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I have had guys refuse to meet me when they find I don't drink. One in particular got upset, asking how I would 'loosen up' and 'relax enough to play'. I explained I don't need alcohol to have good sex. He was really pissed off so I decided not to meet as it worried me why he would want me d*unk..... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have had guys refuse to meet me when they find I don't drink. One in particular got upset, asking how I would 'loosen up' and 'relax enough to play'. I explained I don't need alcohol to have good sex. He was really pissed off so I decided not to meet as it worried me why he would want me d*unk....."
Dont blame you  |
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"Hubby doesn't drink, and I like to have a couple, but I don't like it when people have too much, it spoils it for everyone  "
We are exactly the same John does not drink and Jill likes a couple and thats it otherwise it just spoils the evening |
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I do drink and do usually accommodate, so will often have a couple of drinks as not driving. If it's a GB meet it's usually a couple and most often the man is driving so the lady will have a few drinks. I have had one do where a guy had too much and had too be thrown out, another when a lady had too much even before she got there and her partner took her home early. I do like my events to have a nice relaxed 'party'/ 'social' atmosphere, so people having a reasonable amount is good with me. However if you don't drink you don't drink, your choice, it's never been a hang up with me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally a few drinks suits me, I always have nerves before hand, it loosens inhibitions. 8 years in the scene and that's my preference. If I wasn't nervous it would bore me and I would question why I did it. Why that couple would block you when you didn't mind them drinking baffles me, maybe they misjudged which is wrong, if you choose not to drink that's your choice, doesn't mean your not sexually compatable sober!!! Ignore it and move on to someone more deserving of you  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it's really odd to hear about people getting upset over someone they're meeting not drinking.
I've brought a bottle of wine with me to a meet before, as I wasn't sure what was the done things, but was driving.
it hardly got touched, I was driving anyway, and know one needed a drink to loosten up, and that wasn't the reason for bringing it.
I would always offer a drink at mine too, but out of politeness.
I wouldn't care if someone wanted a drink or not, but I wouldn't want someone to get pissed, and I wouldn't either.
a glass of wine or two is fine with me, but equally so is none at all. |
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"Personally a few drinks suits me, I always have nerves before hand, it loosens inhibitions. 8 years in the scene and that's my preference. If I wasn't nervous it would bore me "
Having performed live stand up comedy I always preferred to be nervous before a gig as it kept me on edge. One or two drinks before hitting the stage alone apart from a mic just seemed to get the right balance. |
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As most of my meets are usually morning / lunchtime ones it is normally tea/coffee/soft drinks on offer, although wine or beer is available.
So far I've only had a glass of wine on two meets even though it has been past beer o'clock.
It certainly wouldn't be a deal breaker if any potential meet didn't want an alcoholic drink. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have had guys refuse to meet me when they find I don't drink. One in particular got upset, asking how I would 'loosen up' and 'relax enough to play'. I explained I don't need alcohol to have good sex. He was really pissed off so I decided not to meet as it worried me why he would want me d*unk....."
I've had similar though he decided that I wasn't for him as I don't drink either, laughed as he said 'how did I relax then if I didn't drink' |
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It sounds like a lucky escape from the sounds of it then. People that sensitive should be given a wide berth. If nothing else at least they won't bang into you accidently.
I don't drink either and tbh, men that I don't know who may drink make me nervous if drinking on a meet. Silly I know but it does scare me a bit.  |
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"Had a couple chatting to me tonight, all up for meeting till they offered to bring wine, I told them that was fine and they would be welcome to drink it but that Emily and I don't drink so wouldn't share it, suddenly we were blocked?
I'm not going oh boo hoo I was blocked etc, I'm used to that, moved on etc etc, I'm just wondering how many others place so much importance on alcohol that you wouldn't meet somebody who didn't drink?? "
Not me! prefer to meet sober! If you need to be pissed or need it the crutch of alcohol to enjoy sex you're not for me!
Had an experience at a club where I was followed by a women who was as pissed as a fart, I had people coming up to me asking why I wasn't looking after her I explained she had absolutely nothing to do with me but insisted on following me following me around all night! I ended having to report her as it was becoming embarrassing!
I didn't return for several weeks and when I did I was told she'd been banned for coming in to the club partially pissed and then getting even more so and pestering others!
I can have good time on booze like the next person but not in this environment, it's too easy for things to go pear shaped!
my opinion and I'm sticking to it, plus alcohol on the breath is as bad as bad breath, garlic or cigarettes! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we can take or leave drink - mostly leave - but we like a social drink with friends and have been known to get beyond giddy when its just the two of us - i rarely drink much because of medication anyway -
if someone said they didnt drink wouldnt bother us at all - but wouldnt meet up worse the wear us or them - |
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"Had a couple chatting to me tonight, all up for meeting till they offered to bring wine, I told them that was fine and they would be welcome to drink it but that Emily and I don't drink so wouldn't share it, suddenly we were blocked?
I'm not going oh boo hoo I was blocked etc, I'm used to that, moved on etc etc, I'm just wondering how many others place so much importance on alcohol that you wouldn't meet somebody who didn't drink?? "
Always driving so dont drink apart from one can of Guinness with an evening meal. No objection to others drinking . However prefer it if they don't not drink too much. Dont need any drinks to enjoy myself. |
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"Personally a few drinks suits me, I always have nerves before hand, it loosens inhibitions. 8 years in the scene and that's my preference. If I wasn't nervous it would bore me
Having performed live stand up comedy I always preferred to be nervous before a gig as it kept me on edge. One or two drinks before hitting the stage alone apart from a mic just seemed to get the right balance."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Also would like to add, swinging isn't our life! Its social and we tend to be drawn to people who are similar to us, party people etc, we wouldt meet anyone not suited to us, and the best sex i have is sober with my partner whom I love, and the meets we have are fun, alcohol or not, we do not take it seriously because its not important
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Had a couple chatting to me tonight, all up for meeting till they offered to bring wine, I told them that was fine and they would be welcome to drink it but that Emily and I don't drink so wouldn't share it, suddenly we were blocked?
I'm not going oh boo hoo I was blocked etc, I'm used to that, moved on etc etc, I'm just wondering how many others place so much importance on alcohol that you wouldn't meet somebody who didn't drink?? "
I plump for either little to zero or pissed as farts so you can rob them blind and get a new flatscreen for the spare room. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think a couple of drinks to loosen the mood can be good but wouldn't take offence if a potential meet didn't drink. More for me!!!
People getting/being d*unk a no-no though. |
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I choose not to drink too much during meets as i like to be aware of what is going on around me - especially in clubs. Others are free to drink or not but if they are d*unk i won't give them a second look even if they look like George Clooney  |
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I don't care, as long as people ate comfortable. It's not as if they're smoking crack etc, it's just a drink. It can be a way for people to start socializing before getting to the action and not everyone wants to arrive, undress and spread their legs that exact moment. Some deserve a break after traveling too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't care, as long as people ate comfortable. It's not as if they're smoking crack etc, it's just a drink. It can be a way for people to start socializing before getting to the action and not everyone wants to arrive, undress and spread their legs that exact moment. Some deserve a break after traveling too."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't drink when i meet and to be honest, i don't like others to have either.. I don't like the taste or their false confidence because of the alcohol.. I wouldn't refuse to play with anyone because they had had a drink unless it was obvious they were totally wasted but it is my preference to play with people that haven't had a drink |
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"Had a couple chatting to me tonight, all up for meeting till they offered to bring wine, I told them that was fine and they would be welcome to drink it but that Emily and I don't drink so wouldn't share it, suddenly we were blocked?
I'm not going oh boo hoo I was blocked etc, I'm used to that, moved on etc etc, I'm just wondering how many others place so much importance on alcohol that you wouldn't meet somebody who didn't drink?? "
I like a drink & a smoke, but would not consider arranging a meet with someone who could be so adversent to your particular preferences in the first place |
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Like a relaxing beverage. I actually find coffee breath worse than alcohol so a couple of drinks and a few kisses is a nice prelude.
Sometimes the welcome kiss in the doorway gets heavy and its straight upstairs  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A nice glass of wine is nice just to chill with while you chat before the fun starts  "
If you drink wine yes. But neither of us drink, havnt for years and couldnt stand wine when we did so we wouldnt have wanted any, give me a milkshake or coffee anyday  |
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Don't care if someone drinks or not. There is a huge difference between a glass or two of wine and.drinking to excess, we have declined further meets when people have d*unk excessively when we've met them socially though and would never play with d*unk people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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100% no I don't drink, and would request my meet not to drink either. I'd avoid anyone drinking at a club and if you need alcohol to enjoy a meet, then should you really be meeting? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I believe there is a huge difference between a social glass of wine to sooth pre meet nerves and establish social rapport, and getting lit up like a Roman candle just to go through with it.
Sadly, I've seen far too much of the latter to feel comfortable with alcohol on meets.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can't drink wine,it gets me d*unk very quickly. For some reason I can drink more Jack Daniels than any other spirit. On a meet I will drink a couple but never get d*unk. Nothing worse than d*unk sex |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A nice glass of wine is nice just to chill with while you chat before the fun starts
If you drink wine yes. But neither of us drink, havnt for years and couldnt stand wine when we did so we wouldnt have wanted any, give me a milkshake or coffee anyday "
Imagining turning up with a massive milkshake. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's really odd to hear about people getting upset over someone they're meeting not drinkingl."
He didn't say they were upset they blocked him. They changed their minds about meeting him, happens all the time and the block button is an effective way of preventing any further fruitless contact. He just assumed it was because of the drink issue |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A nice glass of wine is nice just to chill with while you chat before the fun starts
If you drink wine yes. But neither of us drink, havnt for years and couldnt stand wine when we did so we wouldnt have wanted any, give me a milkshake or coffee anyday
Imagining turning up with a massive milkshake. "
I meet one of my regular men in a hotel and buy a chocolate frappe for in the room |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm always pleasantly surprised with these threads. I don't drink and people often moan at me, asking how I can enjoy myself without a drink.
I sometimes avoid getting even a soft drink at a party/ club because I don't want the disapproving stares.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A drink on a social is ok with me. Ive had socials where the guy doesn't drink because he's driven to meet up but I can take it or leave it. Had one glass of wine at a house then that was all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I actually prefer to meet people who don't need to have a drink to have fun. "
Your profile states your a social drinker and you prefer to meet for drinks ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's really odd to hear about people getting upset over someone they're meeting not drinkingl.
He didn't say they were upset they blocked him. They changed their minds about meeting him, happens all the time and the block button is an effective way of preventing any further fruitless contact. He just assumed it was because of the drink issue "
I was referring more to Rumpleteazer's post, and the impression from other posts, that is is a big deal for some. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Like a relaxing beverage. I actually find coffee breath worse than alcohol so a couple of drinks and a few kisses is a nice prelude.
Sometimes the welcome kiss in the doorway gets heavy and its straight upstairs "
If I'm meeting even socially during the day I won't drink coffee as I find coffee breath a huge turn off.
As with everything, drinking in moderation is fine with me. I like a few drinks but wouldn't get d*unk with someone I didn't know, that applies to all aspects of my life ~ not just on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Paul rarely drinks or drinks very little.
I like a drink, on a night out I have a drink it's my life style I work really hard but I play hard too. However if no one else was drinking I would feel uncomfortable having a drink.
I don't drink before daytime meets though and if I was interested in someone who didn't drink it wouldn't stop me meeting them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not a big drinker but I would have one or two beers, no more. I once met someone off here and they were smashed, I promptly dropped them off to their's and left. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A nice glass of wine is nice just to chill with while you chat before the fun starts
If you drink wine yes. But neither of us drink, havnt for years and couldnt stand wine when we did so we wouldnt have wanted any, give me a milkshake or coffee anyday
Imagining turning up with a massive milkshake.
I meet one of my regular men in a hotel and buy a chocolate frappe for in the room "
If theres a macdonalds on route.... lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think it's really odd to hear about people getting upset over someone they're meeting not drinkingl.
He didn't say they were upset they blocked him. They changed their minds about meeting him, happens all the time and the block button is an effective way of preventing any further fruitless contact. He just assumed it was because of the drink issue "
Assumed yes. But when all questions had been asked in a flowing conversation. When a time had been agreed. When the last message was can we bring wine, I reply feel free for yourselves but we dont drink. Then BAM your blocked seconds later, wouldnt you assume the same? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A nice glass of wine is nice just to chill with while you chat before the fun starts
If you drink wine yes. But neither of us drink, havnt for years and couldnt stand wine when we did so we wouldnt have wanted any, give me a milkshake or coffee anyday
Imagining turning up with a massive milkshake.
I meet one of my regular men in a hotel and buy a chocolate frappe for in the room
If theres a macdonalds on route.... lol"
Lol Burger King,they don't put coffee in theirs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Silly autocorrect!
I prefer no alcohol on a meet. Is a safety issue for me. Alcohol effects people in too many varying ways and with nsa, i probably don't know the person well so have no idea if they're safe after a drink. Plus i stay alcohol free so that my judgement remains at the highest level it can. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd rather have a drink or two. I can be shy with new people so it does help. I've had sober morning/afternoon meets that just didn't seem as much fun. I'd prefer if they had a drink too as it'd make me feel more comfortable about my drinking. |
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By *overs14Couple
over a year ago
norwich |
We've had a few drinks on all of our meets so far. I need it to loosen me up a bit as I'm quite shy. And until we started this my husband was the only person to have seen me naked in over 8 years so. After having children I don't have the same confidence that I did when I met him. I find a few drinks helps give me more confidence and I enjoy myself more. |
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A couple of drinks to smooth the way, we have found always makes for a better atmosphere. Any more than a couple and things start to lose their sexiness though.
Pissed is not very attractive... Also for those that are new it can impair judgement and we'd never play with someone that we thought may regret a decision. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We've had a few drinks on all of our meets so far. I need it to loosen me up a bit as I'm quite shy. And until we started this my husband was the only person to have seen me naked in over 8 years so. After having children I don't have the same confidence that I did when I met him. I find a few drinks helps give me more confidence and I enjoy myself more. "
So would you block somebody who said you feel free but we dont? |
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By *overs14Couple
over a year ago
norwich |
"We've had a few drinks on all of our meets so far. I need it to loosen me up a bit as I'm quite shy. And until we started this my husband was the only person to have seen me naked in over 8 years so. After having children I don't have the same confidence that I did when I met him. I find a few drinks helps give me more confidence and I enjoy myself more.
So would you block somebody who said you feel free but we dont?"
No, that does seem a bit strange. I'd be happy to meet up with people who don't drink as long as they didn't mind me having a couple. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A drink, maybe too but not tipsy or under the influence firstly because it puts us off secondly after the Ched Evans conviction consent issues are blurred if excess alcohol is involved. |
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I drink cautiously when I meet as I wouldn't want to be in a position where I didn't fully enjoy the situation, and maintain some degree of control. I guess some people need a drink or two to get them relaxed, and if that is the case might view non-drinkers as 'too confident' for them. This is only guesswork - personally if I'd like someone whether or not they enjoyed a drink - as long as they weren't blotto! I once arranged a solo meet with a couple who at the last minute requested I bring two bottles of vodka with me 'to get us in the mood'. I made an excuse and cancelled. Similarly I cancelled a meet as part of a couple, as my partner was inexperienced and the other couple wanted to do a stack of . I don't have a problem with drugs per se, but didn't want to put my (then inexperienced) partner into a situation that might get a bit mad with people we didn't know. One has to be careful. That said it wouldn't occur to me to turn down a meet with someone that didn't....horses for courses I guess....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't need to drink to have fun or to loosen up, but I do like to chill with a couple of drinks. Normally when I meet I'm driving anyway so I mostly don't drink and meet.....I would object to someone imposing their views of alcohol on me and if they were that anti drinking then we probably wouldn't get on anyway. It's more to do with the attitude than whether someone drinks or not as I would be equally turned off by someone insisting we have a drink. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So long as people don't get d*unk I don't care if they drink or not, I do usually meet guys in a pub for a chat but only because its a safe place for a first meet, if they want a that's fine |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We like to have a drink when we meet. Mainly because that is when we get to party and have a laugh. We have had meets were the other person doesn't want to have a drink and to be honest the ones we have enjoyed more are the ones where we have all had a drink. Wether that has something to do with the drink or the people I'm not sure.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not bothered either way, I'm partial to a glass of wine, especially if it's an all nighter, but blocking someone because they don't drink is out of order. Probably best you didn't meet I guess. |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
I've had completely sober meets and meets with a few drinks and I've been to the odd party where I've been a bit pished
I'm happy with how the evening flows, I'd not refuse to meet teetotallers unless they expected me to abstain IF I fancied a glass of wine |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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While I wouldn't object to someone having a drink, I think if you need to be pissed to play, then maybe you shouldn't be playing in the first place! Just my point of view.
I had arranged a meet with a couple which was cancelled at the last minute, because I was a social drinker! Apparently they had to get blotto on vodka to play and expected me to do the same. Difficult anyway as I would have been driving and no offer to spend the night. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I am playing alone I will never drink enough to cloud my judgment. So one or two glasses of wine only. But when I am with hubby I usually let myself go a bit as I know he is looking out for me.
However, alcohol does not make sex better for me. If I am d*unk I am unlikely to cum.. But a little bit is good to loosen me up... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Drink or no drink makes no difference to us. We rely on the people we meet to know their strengths and weaknesses with alcohol, for example I know a glass or two of wine or a lager before sex is no problem and no worries, takes the edge off a little we find, after the sex has been done then fine a wee drink after to relax and get to know each other a little |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"While I wouldn't object to someone having a drink, I think if you need to be pissed to play, then maybe you shouldn't be playing in the first place! Just my point of view.
I had arranged a meet with a couple which was cancelled at the last minute, because I was a social drinker! Apparently they had to get blotto on vodka to play and expected me to do the same. Difficult anyway as I would have been driving and no offer to spend the night."
But you are horizontal in your profile pic??? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had completely sober meets and meets with a few drinks and I've been to the odd party where I've been a bit pished
I'm happy with how the evening flows, I'd not refuse to meet teetotallers unless they expected me to abstain IF I fancied a glass of wine "
This... |
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