I've had a couple of period when I've gone with a lady. I hate that term "FB", prefer to think of each other as "Mixed Doubles Partners", as at the end of the day, my partners and I had our own "real" lives and we treated swinging as others treat tennis, or golf, or other sports. We treated swingers clubs the way that others would treat their sports clubs, somewhere you could go, have a drink, socialise, and have a bit of a play. (still think that our games were better than thwacking a little white ball around the countryside lol)
We met a number of couples and what we (I) found was that there were as many reasons for couples being on the swinging scene as there were people, and their approaches varied just as much. Club rules stated that we had to play together or not at all, but that wasn't a problem as we enjoyed each others company. What we found though was that being married and a "real couple" had as many advantages as it did have disadvantages. You'd be surprised at how many marriages are not at all stable, and at how many women play along to appease their husbands. Likewise, there are a lot of women who are "assertively encouraged" to go down the bi route to please their husbands desires. On the other hand there are some really wild ladies who take the lead in order to get what their husbands can't deliver on (for probably entirely ligitimately medical reasons) It's a right Forrest Gump box of chocolates out there.
I'd hate to say that we weren't too fussy about who we played with, as that gives the wrong idea. However we never insisted on super-models and Chippendales only. Smartness, personality and cleanliness were probably uppermost in our thoughts, as at the end of the day, with technique marking someone out for another go at a later time. We weren't going to have a relationship with each other let alone any of the people we were going to play with, so blazingly good looks were not that high on the agenda. Again, like at tennis, would you only play with the best looking opponent, or the ones with the best technique? I was happier to get the best BJ from an average looking woman than a crap BJ from a beauty queen, and my partner felt the same way about the thrills that she was getting. A Chippendale with a short drawer handle would have been of little use to her.
At the end of the day, I don't think that there are right or wrong ways of going about it. Give something a try, if it works for you, great, if not change it. At least as a single you have that flexibility to change. |
Should I be fortunate to get another bite of the cherry and find someone special I would embrace it. What I do know I'd take time out for "us" first before venturing out swinging again...if ever: who really knows?!! 
