FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > That sinking feeling

That sinking feeling

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Patience is a virtue, one I have by the bucket load but I'm starting to get a really uneasy feeling that maybe, just maybe..I'm unattractive.

I have sent a few messages, all of them individually composed, lengthy, articulate, polite and to a degree humorous.

Now, when I read them back to the Mrs she (possibly being biased) enjoys their content and says she'd certainly reply to such efforts so now I'm thinking...It's the face pic...

Last week I was stood up at a meet (Thread labelled Haha brilliant...not) and for someone with a pretty positive and confident outlook on life I'm actually starting to wobble a bit!

Not asking for help..Just using the forum for catharsis!

Thanks for reading

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well from a fellow kinkster who has no spouse loyalty I like the quirkiness off the profile. Simply the panache of 'spiffing' deserves some merit!

It is a numbers game. There are droughts and there are floods. Keep the faith! My favourite definition of a successful man is one who gets to his feet one more time than he is knocked down....

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Hehe cheers for that, your response created a grin!

Thanks

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Everybody gets knocked back now and then. Keep the faith and play the long game.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Oh I hardly expect to have replies and requests thrown at me left right and centre, that would be both vain and silly.

But....If you fail, you have to evaluate why and my running conclusions seem to be pointing to a common denominator.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

I don't know what you look like but I doubt its all down to just looks. Most people fall into the average catagory its the personality that makes someone shine

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My confidence went down faster then the titanic but i learnt to grow a very thick skin on here. Expect nowt then you cant go wrong

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Yeah you're both right I guess, it just makes you question your own self, or the efforts made when initiating contact.

Cheers people

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Get to a club, even better a club social and hook up socially. Show you are a swinger and not a fuck and forget, bedpost notching chap.

This is not a low cost brothel its a site for swingers, people who are friends and enjoying each other in more ways than the non-swingers.

There are fuck and forget on here, my guess is they have nowhere else to go. Finding them is harder, much harder.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Hmm..Yeah I can see where you're coming from there mate, I'll look out for local socials.

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By *andd2Couple over a year ago

The Dungeon

Everything appealed except the facial hair part. No good to me when my face/body becomes a rash field due to your selfish follicle growth syndrome

Keep trying, girls love a trier lol.

But like the poster above said, try a club or social

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Patience is a virtue, one I have by the bucket load but I'm starting to get a really uneasy feeling that maybe, just maybe..I'm unattractive.

I have sent a few messages, all of them individually composed, lengthy, articulate, polite and to a degree humorous.

Now, when I read them back to the Mrs she (possibly being biased) enjoys their content and says she'd certainly reply to such efforts so now I'm thinking...It's the face pic...

Last week I was stood up at a meet (Thread labelled Haha brilliant...not) and for someone with a pretty positive and confident outlook on life I'm actually starting to wobble a bit!

Not asking for help..Just using the forum for catharsis!

Thanks for reading

for me, if we were meeting single men, it would be the wife, the beard and the reference to the snip...generally means men are looking for bare back...happy to be corrected if that's not the case for you, but that has been our experience...We'd reply, but it would be no thanks, no matter what your face looked like...

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By *issHottieBottieWoman over a year ago

Kent

You've only been on 2 weeks... Give it time!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Patience is a virtue, one I have by the bucket load but I'm starting to get a really uneasy feeling that maybe, just maybe..I'm unattractive.

I have sent a few messages, all of them individually composed, lengthy, articulate, polite and to a degree humorous.

Now, when I read them back to the Mrs she (possibly being biased) enjoys their content and says she'd certainly reply to such efforts so now I'm thinking...It's the face pic...

Last week I was stood up at a meet (Thread labelled Haha brilliant...not) and for someone with a pretty positive and confident outlook on life I'm actually starting to wobble a bit!

Not asking for help..Just using the forum for catharsis!

Thanks for reading

Ooh yeah I see your point, safe is a non negotiable for me so I'll adjust that bit too. Thanks!

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By *irtyGirlWoman over a year ago

Edinburgh

I liked your profile too. The 'spiffing beard' made me chuckle. I like quirky and I like face fuzz. Not so fond of the wife part - not your wife in particular, I'm sure she's very nice - and I totally understand getting off on hearing of your adventures, that tickles me in the same way, I generally don't meet marrieds any more.

I wouldn't lose heart though, as has been said you've not been on with that profile for long... takes a bit of time I guess. Socials are a great way to meet people and there's a lot to be said by meeting people in a no pressure, social situation or at a club.

I guess to make a call on whether I find you attractive I'd need to see the spiffing beard.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Wish granted

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By *he TrunkMan over a year ago

Manchester

If she's not replied in another 5 minutes it's definitely your face mate

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

By not playing together, I'd say you're drastically reducing your pool of interested people. You'll either need to drastically reduce your expectations or see if there is any aspect of it your wife would be open to trying with you.. perhaps no-swap?

Otherwise I'd give up on Fab if I were you and go to clubs and socials instead. The number of people prepared to meet a married male based on a few pics and some lines of text is probably ridiculously small, especially when there are so many 'singles' available to try out (whether they're actually single or not). But if they met you in the flesh i.e. at a club or a social, they may be more open minded...especially if your wife came along

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ok, others have touched on a lot of things that can put some off like being married, the not accommodating that goes with being married, facial hair, etc.

But, one thing that may put some off is the kinky side. Some lime it,

but many don't. And you've not quite but nearly banned things like cuddles and vanilla, which may be what the ladies that you are messaging are looking for. Most probably won't enter into negotiation to find out how extensive that ban may be. They will simply move on.

You've not been here long and as a single guy is difficult anyway. Take your time and realise that it'll happen, eventually.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Using women as bait to get a fuck.... win/ win. You can always fuck her as a last resort if no-one else is interested.

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By *irtyGirlWoman over a year ago

Edinburgh

"If she's not replied in another 5 minutes it's definitely your face mate

It's not his face!

Those curtains though...

*giggles*

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Don't get me wrong when I say this but, I hold my girl on a pedestal way too high to cheapen her into being bait at any time or place and won't entertain that notion at all.

I do understand my kink description may be a little cold do I'll address that part too. Thanks.

I'm taking all of this as practical criticism guys and its hugely appreciated but Dirtygirl, you wound me with you comment on my decor, those beige curtains with yellow flowers cost a fortune from the charity shop at £1.50

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By *adybee77Woman over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

So many reasons it would be a no from me.

Married, the kink (that all requires way more trust than a casual fab meet) The pictures are also off putting - they are strangely disconnected.

If your mrs is so into you meeting on fab - ask her to take a few decent full body shots, that don't need your cock on show.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Disconnected?

I'm not sure how to translate that but as for full shots, another good idea. Thanks

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By *ighland_RoseCouple over a year ago

Brigadoon

I like your profile. You seem literate, intelligent and humorous. I wouldn't be put off by anything on the profile, not you messages if they are along the same vein. The facial hair isn't a turn off, neither is the wife, but I would want to talk to her to make sure everything was ok.

If I was looking for a single guy and within a 50 mile radius I would certainly reply to your message. Have patience, continue on as you are, showing your true self, and you will be having filthy, kinky encounters soon enough!

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By *irtyGirlWoman over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Don't get me wrong when I say this but, I hold my girl on a pedestal way too high to cheapen her into being bait at any time or place and won't entertain that notion at all.

I do understand my kink description may be a little cold do I'll address that part too. Thanks.

You should really have washed that brown stain off them first!

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By *adybee77Woman over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

"Disconnected?

I'm not sure how to translate that but as for full shots, another good idea. Thanks"

Disconnected - they seem very focused on one area. I don't meet just a cock or boxer short area, so like to see a bit more.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I liked your profile, you're the kind of guy I would reply too, a little different & quirky ~ I like quirky

You've only been on 2 weeks which is no time at all on here so be patient & don't give up, try a club/social event a great way to get that quirkyness across!

I disagree with an earlier post that you should give up unless your wife joins you.Of course, like all preferences they'll be people that won't want to meet you but they'll be others that do. I'm sure you have your preferences too.

Good luck x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's okay chap. There are far more ugly bods out there; take a look at my face pic for example. Does that mean the people I meet are not up to standard, nope it means I have other things going for me, which hopefully come through. Put your face pic on your profile; negates a lot of heartache (should it be cock ache on a swingers site?)

Anyway the bottom line is "don't worry" it's all cool x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Don't get me wrong when I say this but, I hold my girl on a pedestal way too high to cheapen her into being bait at any time or place and won't entertain that notion at all.

I do understand my kink description may be a little cold do I'll address that part too. Thanks.

My post was sarcasm not aimed at you. Anyone that thinks women should be used as bait.... words fail me.

There's nothing wrong with you, don't change. Lots of guys have problems finding meets on here. Just one of those things.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I disagree with an earlier post that you should give up unless your wife joins you.Of course, like all preferences they'll be people that won't want to meet you but they'll be others that do. I'm sure you have your preferences too."

Just to clarify. I was only saying he should probably give up on fab and go for physical meets instead. People will quickly browse past a guy on Fab who's married. Whilst they might not if they met him in person. And as for the wife bait comment... not too sure where that came from? Did someone suggest he use his wife to bait people into meeting him? As he's married I would imagine anyone wishing to play with him would want to confirm with his wife that she's given her consent. That's why I suggested taking her along to a club or social... not as bait. Furthermore, it may be that she's quite happy with the idea of a no-swap meet i.e. it's something she'd quite like to do with her partner. That's very different from using her as bait. But I'm used to Scarlet twisting my words

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We'll have to agree to disagree then lol!

There are some very successful married men on here ~ okay the forum

threads are usually anti but they only represent a small amount of Fab users.

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By *r and mrs willingCouple over a year ago

SOUTH WEST & WALES

"Patience is a virtue, one I have by the bucket load but I'm starting to get a really uneasy feeling that maybe, just maybe..I'm unattractive.

I have sent a few messages, all of them individually composed, lengthy, articulate, polite and to a degree humorous.

Now, when I read them back to the Mrs she (possibly being biased) enjoys their content and says she'd certainly reply to such efforts so now I'm thinking...It's the face pic..

Last week I was stood up at a meet (Thread labelled Haha brilliant...not) and for someone with a pretty positive and confident outlook on life I'm actually starting to wobble a bit!

Not asking for help..Just using the forum for catharsis!

Thanks for reading

Very nice appealing profile. Pics could be better. But geography ...