FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > So who's into BDSM?
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"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading." That's whys it's so good. | |||
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"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading. That's whys it's so good. " | |||
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"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading. That's whys it's so good. " - thats often the point | |||
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"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading. That's whys it's so good. " | |||
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"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading." BDSM is in my EXPERIENCE quite the opposite, in fact. It depends entirely on what your interests and limits are. | |||
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"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading." In my opinion you are just trying to get attention by flaming bdsm and Masters in every thread you can,and even starting threads decrying it.. Infact your last thread BDSM got shut down because the mod thought you was just going over the same thing as you did in your thread MASTERS.. And you have been told loads of times by loads of subs and D/s couple that's its not abuse..That subs really enjoy submitting and some even enjoy being spanked..shock horror. So just stop trying to get attention because as my sub told you before its getting sad.. | |||
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"apart from f e t what is a good place to discuss the sceene ? " That site is the only one worth anything these days..both for discussing and meeting subs/Doms.. Meet my last 3 subs on there and countless play partners.. | |||
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"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading." which is why some folks choose to partake.. your opinion is like your arsehole in that you have one.. as do others.. on this one you are wrong.. | |||
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"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading. That's whys it's so good. " OMG, we are perverted !!!! I didn't know that | |||
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"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading. That's whys it's so good. OMG, we are perverted !!!! I didn't know that " OK, this thread has been calling too long Might be a tad interested | |||
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"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading." i agree with that. i would never let a man dominate me, sexually or otherwise. i dont see how being blindfolded tied up being flogged and near choked to death is pleasurable. | |||
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"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading. i agree with that. i would never let a man dominate me, sexually or otherwise. i dont see how being blindfolded tied up being flogged and near choked to death is pleasurable. " think your over egging the pudding .. whilst some will and do enjoy the 'more extreme' end, like many aspects there is a vast amount of difference between what you say and what most folks get up to.. | |||
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"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading. i agree with that. i would never let a man dominate me, sexually or otherwise. i dont see how being blindfolded tied up being flogged and near choked to death is pleasurable. " Well good for you, but there's a lot of us that do | |||
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"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading. i agree with that. i would never let a man dominate me, sexually or otherwise. i dont see how being blindfolded tied up being flogged and near choked to death is pleasurable. " don't knock what you haven't tried ? Now let's see blindfolds in six years we have used blindfolds ooooh what ten fifteen times ,choked only of you like it and never close to death , flogging if done right can be a very sensual experience build up slowly the person being flogged is always in charge it's not flail into the person like a lunatic but like I say it's not for all and that's your choice . Have fun and stay safe | |||
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"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading. i agree with that. i would never let a man dominate me, sexually or otherwise. i dont see how being blindfolded tied up being flogged and near choked to death is pleasurable. " Fair enough. But you realise there are plenty of people would never join a swinging site because they'd think that was perverted and disgusting? If you don't enjoy something, don't judge others for it. | |||
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"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading. i agree with that. i would never let a man dominate me, sexually or otherwise. i dont see how being blindfolded tied up being flogged and near choked to death is pleasurable. Fair enough. But you realise there are plenty of people would never join a swinging site because they'd think that was perverted and disgusting? If you don't enjoy something, don't judge others for it." This | |||
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"If it isn't your thing why comment? I posted this for people who was into it. Not uneducated people like you. " Just because someone is not in to BDSM it doesn't make them 'uneducated' | |||
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"If it isn't your thing why comment? I posted this for people who was into it. Not uneducated people like you. Just because someone is not in to BDSM it doesn't make them 'uneducated' " If there just not into bdsm then of course there not uneducated..But if there calling it abuse then that a different matter.. | |||
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"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading. i agree with that. i would never let a man dominate me, sexually or otherwise. i dont see how being blindfolded tied up being flogged and near choked to death is pleasurable. Fair enough. im not judging anyone, i am stating MY OPINION that i would never let a man dominate me in any scenario. sexually or otherwise, But you realise there are plenty of people would never join a swinging site because they'd think that was perverted and disgusting? If you don't enjoy something, don't judge others for it." im not judging anyone personally, im stating that in MY OPINION FOR ME its degrading for a woman to let a man dominate her in any scenario sexual or otherwise. Incidentally nothing to do with education. | |||
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"If it isn't your thing why comment? I posted this for people who was into it. Not uneducated people like you. Just because someone is not in to BDSM it doesn't make them 'uneducated' If there just not into bdsm then of course there not uneducated..But if there calling it abuse then that a different matter.." I didn't notice anyone saying it was abuse? | |||
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"Wonder how many think its degrading for submissive men to let women take control ???? Some people like to judge, without any real knowledge of the subject at all. Its all about consent and being happy in what you enjoy. " Probably the same people that don't understand As long, as you said, there's consent and everyone is happy. Leave us to it !!! | |||
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"If it isn't your thing why comment? I posted this for people who was into it. Not uneducated people like you. Just because someone is not in to BDSM it doesn't make them 'uneducated' If there just not into bdsm then of course there not uneducated..But if there calling it abuse then that a different matter.. I didn't notice anyone saying it was abuse? " Not on this thread..yet..but its been said before..and it was just called degrading for a woman to submit to a man so its getting there. | |||
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"I love it. Tight bondage. Roping. Spanking. Whipping. A little caning. Flogging. Toys. Pin wheels. Want to try violet wand. Humiliation. Well a little. Mild ball whipping. Sensory dep. yep. Love it " Love the violet wand~ best thing ever | |||
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"If it isn't your thing why comment? I posted this for people who was into it. Not uneducated people like you. Just because someone is not in to BDSM it doesn't make them 'uneducated' If there just not into bdsm then of course there not uneducated..But if there calling it abuse then that a different matter.. I didn't notice anyone saying it was abuse? Not on this thread..yet..but its been said before..and it was just called degrading for a woman to submit to a man so its getting there." Please remember that the majority of people get their knowledge of BDSM from the Sunday shit sheets. The same source that those who think "swingers" are all weirdos,get their information from. Unless they actually go to witness a session in progress and speak to those involved,their opinions will not change. | |||
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"This sounds bad but i will be honest. some people claim the are doms and yet when you talk to them on here they think "grabbing someones hair while they suck cock" is bdsm or "grabbing someone on the bed while they take you from behind is a bdsm" This isnt what bdsm is about in my eyes and many men will say they are "sub" to try get a meet i am into the bdsm and have been a fair while long before i started swinging when i was 20. if i am looking for sex i will use here if i want bdsm i will go on that site but i dont mix the two" I can not help but mix the two..My Dom button does not have a off switch..Plus all these skills I spent the last 20 years developing would go to waste..Not to mention I stopped having vanilla sex many moons ago,how do it again? lol | |||
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"I love it. Tight bondage. Roping. Spanking. Whipping. A little caning. Flogging. Toys. Pin wheels. Want to try violet wand. Humiliation. Well a little. Mild ball whipping. Sensory dep. yep. Love it Love the violet wand~ best thing ever" Oh I wish you'd show me | |||
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"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading. i agree with that. i would never let a man dominate me, sexually or otherwise. i dont see how being blindfolded tied up being flogged and near choked to death is pleasurable. Well good for you, but there's a lot of us that do " I can't see how that isn't pleasurable | |||
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"Do you ever get the feeling that these comments are designed to provoke this sort of reaction and that they are now simply sitting back and laughing at the chaos caused? Even the holier than thou brigade have turned up to wade in. People opinions matter it's why we are different. I hate the idea of watersports but I would not want to rain on anyone's parade when they want to talk about it. " Would a light shower be ok though ? | |||
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"This sounds bad but i will be honest. some people claim the are doms and yet when you talk to them on here they think "grabbing someones hair while they suck cock" is bdsm or "grabbing someone on the bed while they take you from behind is a bdsm" This isnt what bdsm is about in my eyes and many men will say they are "sub" to try get a meet i am into the bdsm and have been a fair while long before i started swinging when i was 20. if i am looking for sex i will use here if i want bdsm i will go on that site but i dont mix the two I can not help but mix the two..My Dom button does not have a off switch..Plus all these skills I spent the last 20 years developing would go to waste..Not to mention I stopped having vanilla sex many moons ago,how do it again? lol " who mentioned vanilla sex? | |||
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"This sounds bad but i will be honest. some people claim the are doms and yet when you talk to them on here they think "grabbing someones hair while they suck cock" is bdsm or "grabbing someone on the bed while they take you from behind is a bdsm" This isnt what bdsm is about in my eyes and many men will say they are "sub" to try get a meet i am into the bdsm and have been a fair while long before i started swinging when i was 20. if i am looking for sex i will use here if i want bdsm i will go on that site but i dont mix the two I can not help but mix the two..My Dom button does not have a off switch..Plus all these skills I spent the last 20 years developing would go to waste..Not to mention I stopped having vanilla sex many moons ago,how do it again? lol " Ditto, but from a subs side | |||
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"If it isn't your thing why comment? I posted this for people who was into it. Not uneducated people like you. Just because someone is not in to BDSM it doesn't make them 'uneducated' If there just not into bdsm then of course there not uneducated..But if there calling it abuse then that a different matter.. I didn't notice anyone saying it was abuse? Not on this thread..yet..but its been said before..and it was just called degrading for a woman to submit to a man so its getting there. Please remember that the majority of people get their knowledge of BDSM from the Sunday shit sheets. The same source that those who think "swingers" are all weirdos,get their information from. Unless they actually go to witness a session in progress and speak to those involved,their opinions will not change. " Which is why I tell people at swinger events what I am and answer any questions they have,and I never go alone so they call talk to my sub to..and if a spank her I do it so people can see..and see her enjoying it | |||
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"This sounds bad but i will be honest. some people claim the are doms and yet when you talk to them on here they think "grabbing someones hair while they suck cock" is bdsm or "grabbing someone on the bed while they take you from behind is a bdsm" This isnt what bdsm is about in my eyes and many men will say they are "sub" to try get a meet i am into the bdsm and have been a fair while long before i started swinging when i was 20. if i am looking for sex i will use here if i want bdsm i will go on that site but i dont mix the two I can not help but mix the two..My Dom button does not have a off switch..Plus all these skills I spent the last 20 years developing would go to waste..Not to mention I stopped having vanilla sex many moons ago,how do it again? lol who mentioned vanilla sex?" Anything not with a D/s dynamic is vanilla to me I am afraid..even what most people would class as kinky.. | |||
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"If it isn't your thing why comment? I posted this for people who was into it. Not uneducated people like you. Just because someone is not in to BDSM it doesn't make them 'uneducated' If there just not into bdsm then of course there not uneducated..But if there calling it abuse then that a different matter.. I didn't notice anyone saying it was abuse? Not on this thread..yet..but its been said before..and it was just called degrading for a woman to submit to a man so its getting there." And from memory crystal argued the point that it wasn't abuse. But I think that phrases such as 'uneducated people like you' are arrogant and elitest. if you think a comment is uneducated challenge it, don't sneer at it. | |||
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"This sounds bad but i will be honest. some people claim the are doms and yet when you talk to them on here they think "grabbing someones hair while they suck cock" is bdsm or "grabbing someone on the bed while they take you from behind is a bdsm" This isnt what bdsm is about in my eyes and many men will say they are "sub" to try get a meet i am into the bdsm and have been a fair while long before i started swinging when i was 20. if i am looking for sex i will use here if i want bdsm i will go on that site but i dont mix the two I can not help but mix the two..My Dom button does not have a off switch..Plus all these skills I spent the last 20 years developing would go to waste..Not to mention I stopped having vanilla sex many moons ago,how do it again? lol who mentioned vanilla sex? Anything not with a D/s dynamic is vanilla to me I am afraid..even what most people would class as kinky.. " i cant do vanilla sex its why i struggle to date lol | |||
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"Every time a BDSM thread pops up its always the same. Come on guys and girls, some love it some can't understand it. Let's not do the "my way is better than yours" let's just enjoy what we do . " But then again some people are into SM Necro-zoophillia | |||
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"Every time a BDSM thread pops up its always the same. Come on guys and girls, some love it some can't understand it. Let's not do the "my way is better than yours" let's just enjoy what we do . But then again some people are into SM Necro-zoophillia " Sorry - flogging a dead horse (joke) | |||
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"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading. which is why some folks choose to partake.. your opinion is like your arsehole in that you have one.. as do others.. on this one you are wrong.. " | |||
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"Every time a BDSM thread pops up its always the same. Come on guys and girls, some love it some can't understand it. Let's not do the "my way is better than yours" let's just enjoy what we do . " | |||
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"I haven't really dipped my toes in to this. Don't think i've got a good pain threshold. But, never say never. Just need to explore with the right crowd. " It's not all about pain Pops, although I love it | |||
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"If it isn't your thing why comment? I posted this for people who was into it. Not uneducated people like you. Just because someone is not in to BDSM it doesn't make them 'uneducated' If there just not into bdsm then of course there not uneducated..But if there calling it abuse then that a different matter.. I didn't notice anyone saying it was abuse? Not on this thread..yet..but its been said before..and it was just called degrading for a woman to submit to a man so its getting there. And from memory crystal argued the point that it wasn't abuse. But I think that phrases such as 'uneducated people like you' are arrogant and elitest. if you think a comment is uneducated challenge it, don't sneer at it. " I agree but not if it the same person on three different threads..And if someone does believe its abuse then they clearly have not research it,but are commenting on it from a'uneducated' position.. I could comment on a thread about Iceland..but it would be a 'uneducated' comment as I have never been or researched it..And therefor should not have the same weight as a post from someone who has lived there for the last 20 years.. | |||
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"I love it. Tight bondage. Roping. Spanking. Whipping. A little caning. Flogging. Toys. Pin wheels. Want to try violet wand. Humiliation. Well a little. Mild ball whipping. Sensory dep. yep. Love it Love the violet wand~ best thing ever Oh I wish you'd show me " Is the violet wand the same as a fluvita...? | |||
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"This sounds bad but i will be honest. some people claim the are doms and yet when you talk to them on here they think "grabbing someones hair while they suck cock" is bdsm or "grabbing someone on the bed while they take you from behind is a bdsm" This isnt what bdsm is about in my eyes and many men will say they are "sub" to try get a meet i am into the bdsm and have been a fair while long before i started swinging when i was 20. if i am looking for sex i will use here if i want bdsm i will go on that site but i dont mix the two I can not help but mix the two..My Dom button does not have a off switch..Plus all these skills I spent the last 20 years developing would go to waste..Not to mention I stopped having vanilla sex many moons ago,how do it again? lol who mentioned vanilla sex? Anything not with a D/s dynamic is vanilla to me I am afraid..even what most people would class as kinky.. i cant do vanilla sex its why i struggle to date lol" Whats a date? | |||
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" I'm imagining a room filled by a pack of wolves, all eyes in the night. Find a box for that." There are a few pubs outside Coventry like that on an evening - not sure about the box bit though | |||
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"Yep... Never any real education about the subject... I'm a massive learner and love to find nuggets of gold, but very few on this subject. I myself struggle with my nature... I'm not a "dom" or a fucking "bull", but I'm naturally assertive, animalistic and intense sexually & non-sexually. I can be cruel, suspend my empathy, yet also be tender, sensual and relaxed... I have a great imagination for BDSM and due to the nature of my job, am excellent at creating devices/situations to confuse/stimulate the senses... I am also not a fan of subs, I far prefer a room full of alphas, to the point where the brewing conflict is almost tangible. I'm imagining a room filled by a pack of wolves, all eyes in the night. Find a box for that." Ok you are a swinger But do not make the mistake as most do a submissive submits all the time.. The ones who can fully submit who will give you they mind,body and soul are alpha females who will submit to no one but you.. You would not spot them in a crowded room and she's probably your boss at work.. | |||
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"I've seen a few profiles etc, I was just wondering if there was any Dom's / Sub's or anyone who's curious about the whole fetish. " Not me personally, find bondage boring, Dominating tedious and am very very bad at being sub. But have some good friends who are into it, and it kind of is a bit too specialised to be part of a swingers site, they are also swingers but don't bring the BDSM into this scene. | |||
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"Nah... They are just mangey dogs... " Wolves? I thought Wolverhampton was great place..... | |||
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"Yep... Never any real education about the subject... I'm a massive learner and love to find nuggets of gold, but very few on this subject. I myself struggle with my nature... I'm not a "dom" or a fucking "bull", but I'm naturally assertive, animalistic and intense sexually & non-sexually. I can be cruel, suspend my empathy, yet also be tender, sensual and relaxed... I have a great imagination for BDSM and due to the nature of my job, am excellent at creating devices/situations to confuse/stimulate the senses... I am also not a fan of subs, I far prefer a room full of alphas, to the point where the brewing conflict is almost tangible. I'm imagining a room filled by a pack of wolves, all eyes in the night. Find a box for that. Ok you are a swinger But do not make the mistake as most do a submissive submits all the time.. The ones who can fully submit who will give you they mind,body and soul are alpha females who will submit to no one but you.. You would not spot them in a crowded room and she's probably your boss at work.. " You wouldn't spot me (unless I'm "hanging around") | |||
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"Every time a BDSM thread pops up its always the same. Come on guys and girls, some love it some can't understand it. Let's not do the "my way is better than yours" let's just enjoy what we do . " | |||
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"Wonder how many think its degrading for submissive men to let women take control ???? Some people like to judge, without any real knowledge of the subject at all. Its all about consent and being happy in what you enjoy. " BDSM will always be a controversial issue but at the end of the day some like it some don't. We occasionally experiment in D/s play and so far no complaints from letting the Mrs take control | |||
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"I love it. Tight bondage. Roping. Spanking. Whipping. A little caning. Flogging. Toys. Pin wheels. Want to try violet wand. Humiliation. Well a little. Mild ball whipping. Sensory dep. yep. Love it Love the violet wand~ best thing ever Oh I wish you'd show me Is the violet wand the same as a fluvita...? " Yes as far as I know | |||
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"Yep... Never any real education about the subject... I'm a massive learner and love to find nuggets of gold, but very few on this subject. I myself struggle with my nature... I'm not a "dom" or a fucking "bull", but I'm naturally assertive, animalistic and intense sexually & non-sexually. I can be cruel, suspend my empathy, yet also be tender, sensual and relaxed... I have a great imagination for BDSM and due to the nature of my job, am excellent at creating devices/situations to confuse/stimulate the senses... I am also not a fan of subs, I far prefer a room full of alphas, to the point where the brewing conflict is almost tangible. I'm imagining a room filled by a pack of wolves, all eyes in the night. Find a box for that. Ok you are a swinger But do not make the mistake as most do a submissive submits all the time.. The ones who can fully submit who will give you they mind,body and soul are alpha females who will submit to no one but you.. You would not spot them in a crowded room and she's probably your boss at work.. " I'm only submissive once someone has damn well earned the privilege of receiving my submission. It ain't something i give to just anyone and those who know me in the outside world, for the most part, would actually assume I'm a Domme if they heard i was into BDSM because of my inherent personality in my day to day life. | |||
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"I've seen a few profiles etc, I was just wondering if there was any Dom's / Sub's or anyone who's curious about the whole fetish. Not me personally, find bondage boring, Dominating tedious and am very very bad at being sub. But have some good friends who are into it, and it kind of is a bit too specialised to be part of a swingers site, they are also swingers but don't bring the BDSM into this scene." I also find bondage boring, Doms tedious and am very very bad at being sub I have crossed over because I know a few sub in real life who started out exploring there sub side on swinger sites and said there few Dom's with any real experience but lots of sub girls looking to try the lifestyle.. Also a few couples have crossed over because its easier to get your sub gangbanged here | |||
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"I've seen a few profiles etc, I was just wondering if there was any Dom's / Sub's or anyone who's curious about the whole fetish. Not me personally, find bondage boring, Dominating tedious and am very very bad at being sub. But have some good friends who are into it, and it kind of is a bit too specialised to be part of a swingers site, they are also swingers but don't bring the BDSM into this scene. I also find bondage boring, Doms tedious and am very very bad at being sub I have crossed over because I know a few sub in real life who started out exploring there sub side on swinger sites and said there few Dom's with any real experience but lots of sub girls looking to try the lifestyle.. Also a few couples have crossed over because its easier to get your sub gangbanged here " I crossed over because I'm a dirty little slut who wants you enjoy herself a bit until the right Dom comes along. | |||
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"Yeah... The strongest women I have ever met have never been thought of as dommes, they are usually the kindest... But people follow them because they want to, not because they demand respect. It's the difference between playing the part and it being an intrinsic part of your nature. Have you shaped your world or has it shaped you?" How could the answer to that question be anything other than both? The world very much shapes a person, what your reaction to that is then shapes the world around you. | |||
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"Never made that mistake... I only ever date alpha females and the one thing they all have in common is they want someone they can lose to... But no I don't think most subs are like this, as I don't think most doms are naturally dom. Rarly do I meet another person love and direct and feel any presence from them. " We will have to disagree about that one then..for me a real Dom is naturally Dominant and would never submit to anyone..but hay that's just me | |||
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"I've seen a few profiles etc, I was just wondering if there was any Dom's / Sub's or anyone who's curious about the whole fetish. Not me personally, find bondage boring, Dominating tedious and am very very bad at being sub. But have some good friends who are into it, and it kind of is a bit too specialised to be part of a swingers site, they are also swingers but don't bring the BDSM into this scene. I also find bondage boring, Doms tedious and am very very bad at being sub I have crossed over because I know a few sub in real life who started out exploring there sub side on swinger sites and said there few Dom's with any real experience but lots of sub girls looking to try the lifestyle.. Also a few couples have crossed over because its easier to get your sub gangbanged here I crossed over because I'm a dirty little slut who wants you enjoy herself a bit until the right Dom comes along. " What then.... enjoy your self more | |||
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"I've seen a few profiles etc, I was just wondering if there was any Dom's / Sub's or anyone who's curious about the whole fetish. Not me personally, find bondage boring, Dominating tedious and am very very bad at being sub. But have some good friends who are into it, and it kind of is a bit too specialised to be part of a swingers site, they are also swingers but don't bring the BDSM into this scene. I also find bondage boring, Doms tedious and am very very bad at being sub I have crossed over because I know a few sub in real life who started out exploring there sub side on swinger sites and said there few Dom's with any real experience but lots of sub girls looking to try the lifestyle.. Also a few couples have crossed over because its easier to get your sub gangbanged here I crossed over because I'm a dirty little slut who wants you enjoy herself a bit until the right Dom comes along. What then.... enjoy your self more " Of course, just in a different manner. | |||
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"You say that now... Try something your no good at.... Like... Fencing? Surfing? Watch how you are made to yield to those with greater skill/strength. There's always a bigger dog round the corner... But I like your confidence;-) For years no I have been saying: "Even at 5'9" I'm still the biggest man to walk in any room" Do I believe it? I have to. " Someone being better than me in a game or asking me to do something at work is not me submit to them..lol | |||
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"I find when people project assertiveness and/or dominance, they have mainly bend shaped by their environment. When it's intrinsic they are usually much calmer and no one notices their dominant qualities. Only really outsiders. " I think i follow what you're saying. I dint personally protect anything other than my confidence in myself and my abilities. I don't project assertiveness, I'm simply assertive when the situation warrants. I find confidence, respect, and courtesy to be the greatest traits i have. Though others say it's how nurturing,modest, and thoughtful i am. Noone, though, sees me in a submissive light. A fighter when i have to be, a leader when needed, but not sibmissive. | |||
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"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading. That's whys it's so good. - thats often the point" It's a bit like the old joke. 'Pornography humiliates and degrade women, well the stuff I like does anyway.' | |||
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"I definitely want to explore bdsm. Just very difficult to find someone who is suitable. " Well it would help if you went to E on the sunday as its the bdsm night | |||
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" One it only applies to their sexuality, the other is stuck with it, wether tyey like it or not." I get what you're saying, but... Some of us are capable of choosing to submit and temporarily give up our dominant traits. It's the biggest rush of all, brought on by the largest inner war imaginable. Overcoming what comes naturally to you is the biggest challenge ever. Winning that can yield the greatest reward. | |||
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"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading. That's whys it's so good. - thats often the point It's a bit like the old joke. 'Pornography humiliates and degrade women, well the stuff I like does anyway.' " I like it so much I am going to steal it | |||
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"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading." I respect your right not to engage in such activities and I feel no need to insult or criticise you for it. Perhaps you could extend the same courtesy to people who do wish to involve themselves in consensual activities which hold no appeal for you? You're not into it. Words such as perverted are not constructive. I'm sure most of us could think of words to describe people who are not interested in BDSM and are judgmental towards those who are. Rather than use those words most accept and respect your choice. Perhaps consider the message this sends about the attitude of many people who enjoy BDSM versus the attitude of some who do not. | |||
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"I totally agree, those that have the conflct between yes/no get the most out of their sexuality. And those that can switch off, probs get more out of real life. But those of us who can't are trapped, we either have to say/do nothing or take over. Don't get me wrong, it's not so black and white, but in text and without extrapolating my point, this is the best I can do." I *think* that i am following what you're saying, though obviously it's possible I'm quite mistaken in that. To submit is the biggest personal challenge I've ever faced. I am often described as 'topping from the bottom' or of 'overthinking' things. I have only found one Dom that i have ever allowed to use pain on me because i trust slow, clearly communicate my limits, stick to my limits, and my submission must be earned. Only once it's earned and established can i then win that inner war. Few 'doms' that i have met understand how my submission works, respect that it's not instantaneous or easily given, or expect all subs to be just naturally submissive in every way. I'm not. Even when i win my inner battle and find submission, i submit in my own way. Tape my mouth and tell me i can't take the tape off and i will cut a slit in the tape so i can drink though a straw or smoke, or peel just enough off to drink or smoke whilst still wearing the tape across my mouth as instructed. I break no rules, yet i don't mindlessly follow either. | |||
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"We're kinda on a similar level, yet from different perspectives... The kind of testing your talking about is normal, it's similar to how children test their parents. We all want to see how far we can go... We did get to the moon after all! And in these forums we often talk about striking pain, but sometimes muscle ache and discomfort are much more challenging..." Yes, as is fatigue. | |||
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"Good point there's an old saying... "He with the most flexibility controls the system" But that tree may of been there for a thousand years, the grass only 5." The "part" with the most flexibility controls the system.... Korbyzki As to a lifetime, that is what it is, it's how you live it that matters | |||
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"Wow, come back to the thread and we're all trees and grass. " Got to get the wood and canes from somewhere. | |||
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"Wow, come back to the thread and we're all trees and grass. Got to get the wood and canes from somewhere. " That's so true and the rough bark of a tree | |||
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"And it's kinda the classic D/s situation, he wants, earns, you give, rules set, game begins. My game is different." How so? | |||
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"Wow, come back to the thread and we're all trees and grass. Got to get the wood and canes from somewhere. That's so true and the rough bark of a tree " Knots in the wood | |||
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"I'm more looking for the clash and friction that comes from not knowing... Overpowering a less dominant (not a sub)..." I'm following, i think. It's a fairly thin line to walk, though, it would seem. Difficult balance being dominant without just coming across as a bully, which should actually defeat the purpose entirely. | |||
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"If it isn't your thing why comment? I posted this for people who was into it. Not uneducated people like you. " im educated enough to know that your sentence should say people who ARE or WERE not people who WAS. | |||
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"If it isn't your thing why comment? I posted this for people who was into it. Not uneducated people like you. im educated enough to know that your sentence should say people who ARE or WERE not people who WAS. " | |||
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"Every time a BDSM thread pops up its always the same. Come on guys and girls, some love it some can't understand it. Let's not do the "my way is better than yours" let's just enjoy what we do . " | |||
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"In thinking about it, I think when your in someone's presence you can tell if they are a bully (to a certain extent), but the way they treat people around them. So maybe it's about projecting your true self and let the chips fall where they may." Yes, to a certain extent, it would be about projecting or rather presenting the true picture of who you are and letting the chips fall. As for walking the line and difficulty finding a partner, i can well imagine it. The difficulty i could foresee if i had that type of relationship would be in feeling that my thoughts and needswere of concern to my partner. Potentially, though i realise not always i admit, his drive to win would overshadow his respect and care for me. If i am not equal outside the bedroom, then i will walk away. I wouldn't constantly have my needs denied just so he never had to do something which isn't truly but in his eyes would be submitting. | |||
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"I suppose I am but it's a label that has many different permutations with very specific people. It's about wanting to be 'his' sub not 'a' sub if that makes any sense." It makes sense to me. In my life, as much as i have wanted to find the right Dom for me, i have only been able to submit to any degree with 2 men. It was the men that i wanted, not simply to be submissive. | |||
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"In thinking about it, I think when your in someone's presence you can tell if they are a bully (to a certain extent), but the way they treat people around them. So maybe it's about projecting your true self and let the chips fall where they may." Use the 'reply and quote' button so people know which post you are replying to. | |||
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"That's the danger in every relationship you will ever have... The worst result is always 0. So you roll the dice. Plus there's always mitigating factors. " Yes it is a factor in any relationship, however there is a huge potential in the scenario you've described for it to be a very exaggerated factor above that found in other relationships. Gambling is something i don't mind doing, if it feels right. I won't do it if it doesn't. Not afraid to lose, it's a judgement of 'is it worth losing for'. | |||
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"To quote my profile text: "Contrary to popular belief, it is the sub who is in control. The sub sets the limits that the Dom can go to. The D/s relationship is one of trust. Mutual respect is paramount. It is only when the guidelines and limits are known, boundaries are set and safe words are established that the fun can begin." " It is not the sub who sets the boundaries. That statement assumes that the sub's limits are 'lower' than the Dom's. What about where the Dom has a limit or boundary on something they don't feel comfortable doing? Then the sub has to respect that. I get so riled up by the 'submission is a gift' rubbish. Without a Dom, there cannot be any submission. It is a mutual partnership. As much as the sub trusts the Dom, the Dom has to trust that the sub will be open and honest with limits, boundaries, past injuries and possible triggers. crystal | |||
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"I've seen a few profiles etc, I was just wondering if there was any Dom's / Sub's or anyone who's curious about the whole fetish. " What do you mean when you say whole fetish? People can be fetishist without having any desires for the D/s element. crystal | |||
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"With my past subs it's always been them who sets the limits, I just play to her limits. She tells me when to stop.. So who's really in charge at the end of it..?" You both are. If a sub wanted you to do play that you didn't like, or that you didn't think she was ready for or was safe would you still do it? She tells you to stop when she's had enough but do you observe and judge on your own merit? What if your sub hasn't experienced a certain sensation and doesn't communicate? Do you carry on regardless or do you judge whether it's safe to continue or not? The sub is never 'always the one in control', nor do they 'have all the power' if the Dom is a responsible and safety conscious Dom. It's a two way street. | |||
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"That's the danger in every relationship you will ever have... The worst result is always 0. So you roll the dice. Plus there's always mitigating factors. " Didn't realise there was a 0 on a dice | |||
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"I love it. Tight bondage. Roping. Spanking. Whipping. A little caning. Flogging. Toys. Pin wheels. Want to try violet wand. Humiliation. Well a little. Mild ball whipping. Sensory dep. yep. Love it Love the violet wand~ best thing ever Oh I wish you'd show me Is the violet wand the same as a fluvita...? Yes as far as I know " such good fun in the right hands.. | |||
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"I love it. Tight bondage. Roping. Spanking. Whipping. A little caning. Flogging. Toys. Pin wheels. Want to try violet wand. Humiliation. Well a little. Mild ball whipping. Sensory dep. yep. Love it Love the violet wand~ best thing ever Oh I wish you'd show me Is the violet wand the same as a fluvita...? Yes as far as I know such good fun in the right hands.." He he, created something similar out of a slender tone machine, the rheostat and new batteries are great fun | |||
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"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading. That's whys it's so good. - thats often the point" But why in these days of alegeded equality would anyone, especially woman who have fought tooth and nail for it, want to submit to male domination? My _iew is that anyone into BDSM must be a bit mentally ill. | |||
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"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading. That's whys it's so good. - thats often the point But why in these days of alegeded equality would anyone, especially woman who have fought tooth and nail for it, want to submit to male domination? My _iew is that anyone into BDSM must be a bit mentally ill." You won't ever understand as it's not your thing. Don't worry about it. Some people won't understand you either. You are entitled to your _iew. Some may well be but most aren't. | |||
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"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading. That's whys it's so good. - thats often the point But why in these days of alegeded equality would anyone, especially woman who have fought tooth and nail for it, want to submit to male domination? My _iew is that anyone into BDSM must be a bit mentally ill." Count me as mentally ill then, and of weirdly i'm a man who likes submitting to women, tv/ts and couples that must make me proper batshit | |||
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"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading. That's whys it's so good. - thats often the point But why in these days of alegeded equality would anyone, especially woman who have fought tooth and nail for it, want to submit to male domination? My _iew is that anyone into BDSM must be a bit mentally ill." Men submit too. And people switch. Where does that fits with equality? | |||
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"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading. That's whys it's so good. - thats often the point But why in these days of alegeded equality would anyone, especially woman who have fought tooth and nail for it, want to submit to male domination? My _iew is that anyone into BDSM must be a bit mentally ill." Totally Bat crap crazy here | |||
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"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading. That's whys it's so good. - thats often the point But why in these days of alegeded equality would anyone, especially woman who have fought tooth and nail for it, want to submit to male domination? My _iew is that anyone into BDSM must be a bit mentally ill. Totally Bat crap crazy here " I love BDSM, I love the emotions it allows me to explore and liberate for a time, both mine and my partners. | |||
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"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading." Which is absolutely fantastic if that is what you are looking for x | |||
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"BDSM is in my opinion a bit perverted and degrading. Which is absolutely fantastic if that is what you are looking for x " You could easily argue that to be able to do that with someone, to degrade them or humiliate them, exert control through the mind of physical action... shows a level of trust and a connection that can run very deep... A relationship like that can be very beautiful and rewarding, as well as fucking filthy and downright sadistic... | |||
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"But why in these days of alegeded equality would anyone, especially woman who have fought tooth and nail for it, want to submit to male domination? My _iew is that anyone into BDSM must be a bit mentally ill." Maybe because I still fight daily for equality out of the bedroom and denying myself something I love doing sexually because of what other people might think is pandering to an anachronistic notion that women should be nice and sweet and not go for what they want sexually? I may be submissive in bed but that doesn't mean I'm not feisty as hell out of it and every partner I've explored this sexual aspect with has respected that dichotomy. | |||
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"I've seen a few profiles etc, I was just wondering if there was any Dom's / Sub's or anyone who's curious about the whole fetish. " I have an keen interest but very little experience as it's not Mr B's thing. So it's something that I enjoy exploring with others. | |||
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"Yep... Never any real education about the subject... I'm a massive learner and love to find nuggets of gold, but very few on this subject. I myself struggle with my nature... I'm not a "dom" or a fucking "bull", but I'm naturally assertive, animalistic and intense sexually & non-sexually. I can be cruel, suspend my empathy, yet also be tender, sensual and relaxed... I have a great imagination for BDSM and due to the nature of my job, am excellent at creating devices/situations to confuse/stimulate the senses... I am also not a fan of subs, I far prefer a room full of alphas, to the point where the brewing conflict is almost tangible. I'm imagining a room filled by a pack of wolves, all eyes in the night. Find a box for that. Ok you are a swinger But do not make the mistake as most do a submissive submits all the time.. The ones who can fully submit who will give you they mind,body and soul are alpha females who will submit to no one but you.. You would not spot them in a crowded room and she's probably your boss at work.. " Indeed | |||
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"You would not spot them in a crowded room and she's probably your boss at work.. Indeed " Hope not, I am my boss and way to big & ugly to be a TV | |||
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