FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > so who's getting fucked behind there husbands back then ;)
so who's getting fucked behind there husbands back then ;)
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"It's a swingers site not a site for cheats !"  Not sure people who are will draw attention to themselves by admitting so in an open forum! | |||
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"It's a swingers site not a site for cheats ! Not sure people who are will draw attention to themselves by admitting so in an open forum!"You'd be surprised lol | |||
"It's a swingers site not a site for cheats ! Not sure people who are will draw attention to themselves by admitting so in an open forum!
You'd be surprised lol"tjis | |||
 It tends to be infront of him  | |||
"It's a swingers site not a site for cheats ! Not sure people who are will draw attention to themselves by admitting so in an open forum!
You'd be surprised lol"indeed  | |||
"And your point is? "is there one???? lol | |||
"And your point is?
is there one???? lol "Haven't a clue, that's why I asked. | |||
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"It's a swingers site not a site for cheats !" ?!? A moralising swinger lol too many of those on here. What you do is fine but what others so is not? | |||
"It's a swingers site not a site for cheats ! ?!? A moralising swinger lol too many of those on here. What you do is fine but what others so is not? "  | |||
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"Naughty naughty "  | |||
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"It's a swingers site not a site for cheats ! ?!? A moralising swinger lol too many of those on here. What you do is fine but what others so is not? " Do swingers ordinarily not have morals then? | |||
"It's a swingers site not a site for cheats ! ?!? A moralising swinger lol too many of those on here. What you do is fine but what others so is not? Do swingers ordinarily not have morals then?" we consider deceit in all it's forms repugnant sorry we feel this way but anyone who considers it so frivolously in our eyes has no concern for the hurt it may cause others | |||
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"Theres enough war over religion and politics. Lets not have a verification war lol "Yes lets have a seize fire 5:01pm lol. | |||
Her | |||
"The " so called little boy" brings laughs and haribos to the forums
Her"Yes I do and on Fridays status checks as well  | |||
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"The " so called little boy" brings laughs and haribos to the forums
Her"And his 6 pack | |||
"The " so called little boy" brings laughs and haribos to the forums
HerYes I do and on Fridays status checks as well "You do sunshine, keep up the good work
Her | |||
"The " so called little boy" brings laughs and haribos to the forums
Her
And his 6 pack "And that
Her | |||
"The " so called little boy" brings laughs and haribos to the forums
HerYes I do and on Fridays status checks as well You do sunshine, keep up the good work
Her"Thanks I will and fun to do
"The " so called little boy" brings laughs and haribos to the forums
Her
And his 6 pack "Yes, don't forget the 6pack. I do like to bring it lol | |||
"The " so called little boy" brings laughs and haribos to the forums
HerYes I do and on Fridays status checks as well You do sunshine, keep up the good work
HerThanks I will and fun to do
The " so called little boy" brings laughs and haribos to the forums
Her
And his 6 pack Yes, don't forget the 6pack. I do like to bring it lol "Make it Fosters
Gimp | |||
"The " so called little boy" brings laughs and haribos to the forums
HerYes I do and on Fridays status checks as well You do sunshine, keep up the good work
HerThanks I will and fun to do
The " so called little boy" brings laughs and haribos to the forums
Her
And his 6 pack Yes, don't forget the 6pack. I do like to bring it lol
Make it Fosters
Gimp"lol good choice and a bud-weis-er  | |||
Gimp | |||
"Thats sorted then, Haribos for the wimmin n we neck the Beers
Gimp"Yes and we get some crisp to to go nicely with the beer lol. | |||
"Thats sorted then, Haribos for the wimmin n we neck the Beers
GimpYes and we get some crisp to to go nicely with the beer lol."Do they make cheesy Knob flavoured Crisps
Gimp | |||
"We aim to hurt no one and won't meet married people behind their partners backs sorry if this offends people but it's how we feel " Do not appologise as this is the norm with most together couples,who wants to help drive a wedge into a relationship | |||
"Thats sorted then, Haribos for the wimmin n we neck the Beers
GimpYes and we get some crisp to to go nicely with the beer lol.
Do they make cheesy Knob flavoured Crisps
Gimp"YEs they do as well and I will have some cheese and onion flavour lol. | |||
"Naughty naughty " I know of at least 4! So probably as many women cheating on their husbands are there is men cheating on their wives. | |||
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"May I add to the debate? If a man will not have sex with his wife and consequently starves her of sexual pleasure, satisfaction and physical relief; is that anywhere near as bad as the wife, starved of sex, seeking NSA sex elsewhere? "Both are indicative of a defunct relationship. | |||
"May I add to the debate? If a man will not have sex with his wife and consequently starves her of sexual pleasure, satisfaction and physical relief; is that anywhere near as bad as the wife, starved of sex, seeking NSA sex elsewhere?
Both are indicative of a defunct relationship."That is true but is her "crime" any worse than his preemptive "punishment"; assuming they have reasons they must stay together. | |||
"It's a swingers site not a site for cheats ! ?!? A moralising swinger lol too many of those on here. What you do is fine but what others so is not? Do swingers ordinarily not have morals then?we consider deceit in all it's forms repugnant sorry we feel this way but anyone who considers it so frivolously in our eyes has no concern for the hurt it may cause others " | |||
"May I add to the debate? If a man will not have sex with his wife and consequently starves her of sexual pleasure, satisfaction and physical relief; is that anywhere near as bad as the wife, starved of sex, seeking NSA sex elsewhere?
Both are indicative of a defunct relationship.
That is true but is her "crime" any worse than his preemptive "punishment"; assuming they have reasons they must stay together."The cheating is far worse obviously. One is an act of omission, the other a conscious unethical choice. Additionally having less sex than you want is obviously not on a par with being betrayed by someone you pledged your life to. The damage done to peoples lives is far greater from the latter. What reasons to stay together? Kids don't generally react well to one parent cheating on their other and assets are easily divided. When it comes to bad marriages, the grass is greener in the other side. It's easily solved by communication. | |||
"It's a swingers site not a site for cheats ! ?!? A moralising swinger lol too many of those on here. What you do is fine but what others so is not? Do swingers ordinarily not have morals then?we consider deceit in all it's forms repugnant sorry we feel this way but anyone who considers it so frivolously in our eyes has no concern for the hurt it may cause others "There is no plea in mitigation; the world is black and white. Some do appear to live in a draconian society. | |||
"It's a swingers site not a site for cheats ! ?!? A moralising swinger lol too many of those on here. What you do is fine but what others so is not? Do swingers ordinarily not have morals then?we consider deceit in all it's forms repugnant sorry we feel this way but anyone who considers it so frivolously in our eyes has no concern for the hurt it may cause others
There is no plea in mitigation; the world is black and white. Some do appear to live in a draconian society. "How 'draconian' the consequences are should be the decision of the victim. Is the way people like me see marital morality any different from how those whose partners are being betrayed would see it? I think not. | |||
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"It's a swingers site not a site for cheats ! ?!? A moralising swinger lol too many of those on here. What you do is fine but what others so is not? Do swingers ordinarily not have morals then?we consider deceit in all it's forms repugnant sorry we feel this way but anyone who considers it so frivolously in our eyes has no concern for the hurt it may cause others
There is no plea in mitigation; the world is black and white. Some do appear to live in a draconian society.
How 'draconian' the consequences are should be the decision of the victim.
Is the way people like me see marital morality any different from how those whose partners are being betrayed would see it? I think not."Draco allowed no explanation and imposed the ultimate sanction, death, for the smallest offence. Do you apply your "marital morality" standards to everyday life or just to marital infidelity? | |||
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"Naughty naughty " Let us know if you still think it's funny if a partner you love and have made a commitment to cheats on you, won't you? | |||
"not sure how thread started but isn't every guy who cant accommodate most likely cheating on a partner or wife yet they carry on regardless and actually openly admit it too..good for the goose etc.. one lass playing behind hubbys back is nothing by comparison..good luxck to her and what of the guys she meets.? they get banished too ?" Not being able to accommodate does not necessarily mean cheating. There are lots of people cheating on partners on here, both men and women. Neither sex cheating is better or worse than the other. Their life, their relationship, their decision. | |||
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" Draco allowed no explanation and imposed the ultimate sanction, death, for the smallest offence. Do you apply your "marital morality" standards to everyday life or just to marital infidelity?" Well no one on here suggested the death penalty for philanderers, though I suspect the devastation of being betrayed by your spouse might make many feel rather vexatious. Of course I do. Do good and do no harm. Fundamental values to most people. | |||
"not sure how thread started but isn't every guy who cant accommodate most likely cheating on a partner or wife yet they carry on regardless and actually openly admit it too..good for the goose etc.. one lass playing behind hubbys back is nothing by comparison..good luxck to her and what of the guys she meets.? they get banished too ? Not being able to accommodate does not necessarily mean cheating. There are lots of people cheating on partners on here, both men and women. Neither sex cheating is better or worse than the other. Their life, their relationship, their decision." Not being able to accom means they are cheating 99 percent of the time...its hardly a debating point | |||
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"Sex is not a human right, cant beleive I read that further up. Its our choice to not knowingly meet anyone that is playing behind a partners back, and we try our best to ensure this is always the case, although it can never be 100% certain as people can be good liars, we do what we can to sniff them out and stay clear, we have our many reasons for this, but mainly because we chose to indulge in this lifestyle to have fun and swing, not to hurt people, ruin marriages/families or help anyone cheat." If sex is not a human right how would you feel if it was taken away from you? So you never have sex again. Based on your "I can't believe" statement you would not be too bothered.  | |||
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"It's a swingers site not a site for cheats !" oh dear another person who assumes fucking others is fine as long as its not cheating and therefore no moral has been breached. In the eyes of monogomists what you are doing is equally as bad and immoral as someone cheating so please save your comments. I expect youd tell those people to mind their own business as its your choice what you do....guess what the same applies to people cheating. If you dont like that dont meet them. Just dont criticise either | |||
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"It's a swingers site not a site for cheats ! ?!? A moralising swinger lol too many of those on here. What you do is fine but what others so is not? Do swingers ordinarily not have morals then?we consider deceit in all it's forms repugnant sorry we feel this way but anyone who considers it so frivolously in our eyes has no concern for the hurt it may cause others " and doing what your are doing is upsetting so many people who believe in monogomy but i guess that doesnt bother you as it fits in with your own selfish code of ethics. Leave people do do as they wish and concentrate on what you like. Your like the preverbial nosey next door neighbour complaining about the nosey neighbour across the road always watching what others are doing | |||
 C xx | |||
"Both G and myself have permission to do what we want, when we want, as long as the other knows. Why bother destroying that trust for no reason? C xx" | |||
"UN convention on human rights confers the right to sexual liberty with regard to preference, however I think you'd have difficulty arguing that a person has a 'right' to have the physical act. However article 8 does state that persons have a right to a family life, which is compromised by adulterers. Therefore could argue that cheats are contravening the human rights of those they are married to. "How can you have "sexual liberty" if sex is not included as a right? I am of course talking about consenting adults. The right to a family life no doubt includes the right to have concentual sex. If one partner, for whatever reason, withdraws from having sex, then surely the partner who wants sex is having their right to a family life contravened. | |||
"UN convention on human rights confers the right to sexual liberty with regard to preference, however I think you'd have difficulty arguing that a person has a 'right' to have the physical act. However article 8 does state that persons have a right to a family life, which is compromised by adulterers. Therefore could argue that cheats are contravening the human rights of those they are married to.
How can you have "sexual liberty" if sex is not included as a right? I am of course talking about consenting adults.
The right to a family life no doubt includes the right to have concentual sex. If one partner, for whatever reason, withdraws from having sex, then surely the partner who wants sex is having their right to a family life contravened."Sex should be consensual so nobody has a right to sex if nobody wants to have sex with them. Sexual liberty does not mean the right to demand sex, not even from a partner. Now, the right to say no, that IS a human right. Some people seem to be considering a partner not wanting sex as "punishment". Hardly. People can go off sex for all sorts of reasons. And if you've committed to someone and they expect fidelity, the right thing to do is make a different arrangement with them or end the relationship. There's no rule saying one has to stay in a relationship that has changed and is no longer what one wants or needs. | |||
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"not sure how thread started but isn't every guy who cant accommodate most likely cheating on a partner or wife yet they carry on regardless and actually openly admit it too..good for the goose etc.. one lass playing behind hubbys back is nothing by comparison..good luxck to her and what of the guys she meets.? they get banished too ? Not being able to accommodate does not necessarily mean cheating. There are lots of people cheating on partners on here, both men and women. Neither sex cheating is better or worse than the other. Their life, their relationship, their decision. Not being able to accom means they are cheating 99 percent of the time...its hardly a debating point" I disagree. There are more single fathers with custody now than there were. There are also more people house sharing because of the cost of housing. There are also factors such as having nosy neighbours and wanting to be discreet, concerns about safety, wanting to keep home life and swinging totally separate and a myriad of other reasons. I agree it can be indicative of someone cheating but it's very far from clear cut. | |||
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"Naughty naughty Let us know if you still think it's funny if a partner you love and have made a commitment to cheats on you, won't you?" | |||
"We stand by our original comment and will add now that anyone who sees cheating as the norm is repugnant in our eyes and we will block them !" Repugnant seems rather strong. Avoid them by all means but calling people repugnant is uncalled for. You have your reasons for your opinions and others have theirs. I personally think cheating is wrong but I accept others are free to think differently. I wouldn't call them repugnant when I know nothing of them or their situation. | |||
" The right to a family life no doubt includes the right to have concentual sex. If one partner, for whatever reason, withdraws from having sex, then surely the partner who wants sex is having their right to a family life contravened." I'd pay good money to watch an adulterer stand up in divorce court and say s/he felt their right to a family life was being compromised and they sought to remedy the situation by having an extra marital affair. LOL | |||
" The right to a family life no doubt includes the right to have concentual sex. If one partner, for whatever reason, withdraws from having sex, then surely the partner who wants sex is having their right to a family life contravened. I'd pay good money to watch an adulterer stand up in divorce court and say s/he felt their right to a family life was being compromised and they sought to remedy the situation by having an extra marital affair. LOL" And someone who'd been cheated on and tried to invoke the human rights act as means to get a better settlement? They'd also be laughed out of court, because it would be a totally inappropriate use of something designed to protect people from torture, cement their right to an education etc. Again, why the assumption cheating is automatically going to end in divorce? | |||
"Sex is a "human right" now, (according to a post above)? " | |||
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"We started swinging to save a relationship that had become mundane if we can be honest with each other why can't others ! If repugnant is so strong how about deceitful cheats ! When all is said and done someone gets hurt .we have a good friend a single fem just started to swing who has attempted suicide twice cos her hubby cheated on her before leaving her so it's a touch raw for us " People are not always cheating just because things are 'mundane' or 'boring'. It's great for you that you saved your relationship this way, but this isn't realistic for everyone. No one ever knows the facts of someone else's situations, so if you don't like, can't you just pass on by instead of calling names? | |||
"The right to a family life no doubt includes the right to have concentual sex. If one partner, for whatever reason, withdraws from having sex, then surely the partner who wants sex is having their right to a family life contravened." Just as I think I have heard it all
Nobody is entitled to sex. It happens by agreement between two or more people. Anything else is assault.
I don't remember ever hearing anyone promise to provide sex on demand for evermore in marriage vows.
That anyone feels entitled to sex is | |||
"We started swinging to save a relationship that had become mundane if we can be honest with each other why can't others ! If repugnant is so strong how about deceitful cheats ! When all is said and done someone gets hurt .we have a good friend a single fem just started to swing who has attempted suicide twice cos her hubby cheated on her before leaving her so it's a touch raw for us " Others may not be in the same situation. Again, I don't condone cheating, personally, but I do recognise sometimes things are not clear cut and black and white. | |||
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"Honesty is always the best policy no matter what sometimes the answers can surprise you !" Some people always say honesty is the best policy Try going up to someone in the street and telling them they're an ugly bastard and they're out of their league with their gf and see if it's the best policy then | |||
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"Honesty is always the best policy no matter what sometimes the answers can surprise you ! Some people always say honesty is the best policy Try going up to someone in the street and telling them they're an ugly bastard and they're out of their league with their gf and see if it's the best policy then "that's just plain bad manners is nt it | |||
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"Honesty is always the best policy no matter what sometimes the answers can surprise you ! Some people always say honesty is the best policy Try going up to someone in the street and telling them they're an ugly bastard and they're out of their league with their gf and see if it's the best policy then that's just plain bad manners is nt it "But what if it's true as well? Surely being honest shouldn't you tell them? Or tell the guy you're seeing that night his dicks half the size of the guy last week if that's true as well, being honest that's all | |||
"Naughty naughty " I think you mean painful painful... even if my cock was long enough, I don't think it would be flexible enough for L to mount it from behind me | |||
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"The right to a family life no doubt includes the right to have concentual sex. If one partner, for whatever reason, withdraws from having sex, then surely the partner who wants sex is having their right to a family life contravened. Just as I think I have heard it all
Nobody is entitled to sex. It happens by agreement between two or more people. Anything else is assault.
I don't remember ever hearing anyone promise to provide sex on demand for evermore in marriage vows.
That anyone feels entitled to sex is " | |||
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"There is also the fact that fidelity is a religiously decreed moral. Marriage is often socially expected these days even without the religious background so surely the moral codes behind it are not always the same. I am not condoning but nor am I condemning I understand that a situation can change and how difficult things can be to open up to the person you love/ sometimes you have no desire to leave that person yet certain wants and needs are not fulfilled and you may know a swingers relationship would not be for them. I also know that if your partner strongly opposes cheating it can be very hurtful but there are more than 2 sides to the debate of 'cheating' in my opinion" | |||
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"It's a swingers site not a site for cheats !" Agreed.....I much prefer to fuck women in front of their husbands...... And I do lol! | |||
"Don't know if I should reply to this feed as I'm likely to get torn strips off but here goes... In for a penny.. I am married as it states on my profile, but I am no longer with my husband and it it all down to this site... The break up anyway... We came on this site together to help our marriage, had been together for 20 years and wanted to improve on things... Or I did... Was honest and convinced my husband to join me... I did not cheat... We did it together for a while until he admitted he hated it... Well unfortunately, the grass was greener for me on the other side so we separated... Splitting up the family and continuing with our lives separately... I have often thought about it... Would we still be together if I had gone behind my husbands back??? The answer to that is yes... so is honesty the best policy??? My children would still have their daddy living at home... And he would have been none the wiser... If I hadn't been honest in the first instance... Life could have continued ( he was already happy ) and I would have just been happier " | |||
"Don't know if I should reply to this feed as I'm likely to get torn strips off but here goes... In for a penny.. I am married as it states on my profile, but I am no longer with my husband and it it all down to this site... The break up anyway... We came on this site together to help our marriage, had been together for 20 years and wanted to improve on things... Or I did... Was honest and convinced my husband to join me... I did not cheat... We did it together for a while until he admitted he hated it... Well unfortunately, the grass was greener for me on the other side so we separated... Splitting up the family and continuing with our lives separately... I have often thought about it... Would we still be together if I had gone behind my husbands back??? The answer to that is yes... so is honesty the best policy??? My children would still have their daddy living at home... And he would have been none the wiser... If I hadn't been honest in the first instance... Life could have continued ( he was already happy ) and I would have just been happier "
For all the couples who've discovered swinging works for them, which is great obviously, there's a lot of people where one or both of them seem conflicted about it. | |||
"There r many cheating females on here, who are ready to fuck behind their husbands back lol "and men behind there womans | |||
"We stand by our original comment and will add now that anyone who sees cheating as the norm is repugnant in our eyes and we will block them !" So nerrrrr !
Brilliant ! | |||
"Don't know if I should reply to this feed as I'm likely to get torn strips off but here goes... In for a penny.. I am married as it states on my profile, but I am no longer with my husband and it it all down to this site... The break up anyway... We came on this site together to help our marriage, had been together for 20 years and wanted to improve on things... Or I did... Was honest and convinced my husband to join me... I did not cheat... We did it together for a while until he admitted he hated it... Well unfortunately, the grass was greener for me on the other side so we separated... Splitting up the family and continuing with our lives separately... I have often thought about it... Would we still be together if I had gone behind my husbands back??? The answer to that is yes... so is honesty the best policy??? My children would still have their daddy living at home... And he would have been none the wiser... If I hadn't been honest in the first instance... Life could have continued ( he was already happy ) and I would have just been happier " Very similar situation to mine a few years ago. I know I did the right thing by leaving though. My ex is a good person and he deserves better than having me cheat on him. Plus from a selfish point if _iew, carrying around the guilt of going behind his back would have been worse than going without the experiences I craved. I think it's all too easy to assume they'd be none the wiser, but I think these things have a habit of coming into the open eventually. A friend of my mums got caught and lost not only her home and marriage but also her three teenage children who now refuse to speak to get for what she did. It's just not worth it. | |||
"We stand by our original comment and will add now that anyone who sees cheating as the norm is repugnant in our eyes and we will block them !" That's okay, we've saved you the trouble... We don't condone but we also don't condemn, you know that thing about not judging until you've walked a mile in someone's shoes...I'm not religious and don't see that marriage as dictated by either our current religious or social mores is necessarily the right way for all people...basic respect though for what people have mutually agreed the parameters of their relationship is paramount. However, we are to all intents and purposes, meeting complete strangers off the Internet to have casual sex with...While we like to have some social interaction and have developed some very good friendships from this, generally, we're uninterested in finding out the nitty gritty details of their relationship outside of the pleasant couple of hours we may spend in their company...let it be on their conscience and not ours... | |||
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"why can I not get fun as much as others clean gen guy 9inch down to earth guy ergggg "Try posting in the meets and events or introduction forums rather than a random post in the middle of a discussion about married women! | |||
"why can I not get fun as much as others clean gen guy 9inch down to earth guy ergggg "Bad enough hijacking a thread generally. But one where people are laying out raw feelings..... Shame on you | |||
"why can I not get fun as much as others clean gen guy 9inch down to earth guy ergggg "Why why why
Her | |||
"Why bother about it? If its something you disagree with, then move on. We are none of us judges or jury. No one knows what goes on within a marriage/partnership and we are all here for our own reasons. Some would have something to say about happily married couples fucking others. What does it matter? Do what makes you happy and comfortable with and leave others to get on with their lives. " | |||
"not sure how thread started but isn't every guy who cant accommodate most likely cheating on a partner ...... Not being able to accom means they are cheating 99 percent of the time...its hardly a debating point" 99% of the time .... Really? Not every man or woman is in the enviable position of having their own "home" and the freedom to invite who they like into it. None of us know the reasons why people make the choices they do or their personal circumstances so we are in no position to sit in judgement. | |||
"why can I not get fun as much as others clean gen guy 9inch down to earth guy ergggg "Hmmm I wonder why that might be?! | |||
"not sure how thread started but isn't every guy who cant accommodate most likely cheating on a partner ...... Not being able to accom means they are cheating 99 percent of the time...its hardly a debating point 99% of the time .... Really? Not every man or woman is in the enviable position of having their own "home" and the freedom to invite who they like into it. None of us know the reasons why people make the choices they do or their personal circumstances so we are in no position to sit in judgement. " | |||
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"It's a swingers site not a site for cheats !" Are you sure ! | |||
"There are so many " black and whiters" on these forums it does get a tad depressing. I know several married men who swing without partners but with their partners consent. Two I can think of for health reasons and one because the partner no longer wishes to participate. There is a certain lack of sophistication in thinking all is black and white. " but what you explain there, isnt cheating, theres mutual consent, agreement. | |||
"Sex is not a human right, cant beleive I read that further up. Its our choice to not knowingly meet anyone that is playing behind a partners back, and we try our best to ensure this is always the case, although it can never be 100% certain as people can be good liars, we do what we can to sniff them out and stay clear, we have our many reasons for this, but mainly because we chose to indulge in this lifestyle to have fun and swing, not to hurt people, ruin marriages/families or help anyone cheat. If sex is not a human right how would you feel if it was taken away from you? So you never have sex again. Based on your "I can't believe" statement you would not be too bothered. "its not if it isnt a human right, its quite simply that it isnt a human right, no one, man or woman has the right to expect sex with someone else, everyone has the right to say no at anytime, and if sex was suddenly taken away from me as you asked, of course id be terribly dissapointed, gutted, annoyed to name a few but never would I feel like one of my rights had been taken away from me, sex should be consensual and never done as though someone is taking there right, thats what you call rape. | |||
"Naughty naughty " This subject again lol | |||
I don't condone cheating, but stop judging others as you aint in anyways better than them | |||
"There are loads! Just don't want to admit it, same as married men!" well said . | |||
"There are loads! Just don't want to admit it, same as married men!" I admit it. it's on my profile. Doesn't mean I'm proud of myself but it is what it is. | |||
"We started swinging to save a relationship that had become mundane if we can be honest with each other why can't others ! If repugnant is so strong how about deceitful cheats ! When all is said and done someone gets hurt .we have a good friend a single fem just started to swing who has attempted suicide twice cos her hubby cheated on her before leaving her so it's a touch raw for us " I'm sorry but I feel really strongly about this. ..you started swinging to save a mundane marriage? How long before swinging with each other's consent becomes mundane? And your friend. .I really feel for her but suicide is a very extreme way of getting yourself noticed by a man that's behaving like a naughty schoolboy. .. People sometimes cheat..it doesn't mean they stop loving each other it means that sometimes the thrill of someone else wanting them over takes rational behaviour. Real love overcomes everything if your relationship is not strong you'll split up if you dwell on hurt feelings you'll split up. ..just get over it and move on. It's just sex it doesn't mean I want to live with you and have your babies  | |||
"We started swinging to save a relationship that had become mundane if we can be honest with each other why can't others ! If repugnant is so strong how about deceitful cheats ! When all is said and done someone gets hurt .we have a good friend a single fem just started to swing who has attempted suicide twice cos her hubby cheated on her before leaving her so it's a touch raw for us I'm sorry but I feel really strongly about this. ..you started swinging to save a mundane marriage? How long before swinging with each other's consent becomes mundane? And your friend. .I really feel for her but suicide is a very extreme way of getting yourself noticed by a man that's behaving like a naughty schoolboy. .. People sometimes cheat..it doesn't mean they stop loving each other it means that sometimes the thrill of someone else wanting them over takes rational behaviour. Real love overcomes everything if your relationship is not strong you'll split up if you dwell on hurt feelings you'll split up. ..just get over it and move on. It's just sex it doesn't mean I want to live with you and have your babies "what utter drivel first point swinging has many facets to liven up the sex life of a loving couple just because our sex life had become matter of fact making the marriage mundane does nt mean either of us should seek it elsewhere destroying all the good things that remain ffs .smecond point our friends husband cheated then left her for good leaving debts and unpaid bills and two children he does nt bother with ! He even went as far as to forge her signature to obtain a loan against their property money he had no intention of repaying !it would appear this behaviour must be acceptable to some peeps on here how repugnant ! | |||
" .smecond point our friends husband cheated then left her for good leaving debts and unpaid bills and two children he does nt bother with ! He even went as far as to forge her signature to obtain a loan against their property money he had no intention of repaying !it would appear this behaviour must be acceptable to some peeps on here how repugnant !" Don't be so ridiculous, of course no one would condone this. How on earth do you get from someone understanding that sometimes people cheat, to people thinking that type of behaviour is acceptable? And frankly it sounds like the sexual infidelity aspect of your friend's situation was the least of her problems. Also, I'm sure she'd love her situation being discussed on the internet as a way to back up your argument. | |||
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"Why bother about it? If its something you disagree with, then move on. We are none of us judges or jury. No one knows what goes on within a marriage/partnership and we are all here for our own reasons. Some would have something to say about happily married couples fucking others. What does it matter? Do what makes you happy and comfortable with and leave others to get on with their lives. "Never considered this before but yes surely its worse a "happily married" couple doing this than a man or woman who is not happy in there marriage. Surely the couple feel there is something missing which they are trying to find on a swinging site. When I was married and totally in love I never even looked at another man. My husband was my world and I would never share him or my body with anyone! | |||
"Playing devil's advocate a bit here...why is the assumption always that cheating is going to end in ruined lives, divorce, vengeful partners hunting down people who they feel have contributed to them being wronged.... Yes this does happen and yes it's bad. It's equally possible for someone in a complicated situation (whether you agree with someone's actions or not, nothing is black and white) to quietly and discreetly fulfil some need or other without causing the sort of chaos and carnage being described. For the record, yes I'm engaged in what a lot of people would class as cheating. I make my status clear on my profile so I don't waste my time, and wouldn't in a million years approach someone who stated they disagreed with what I was doing. However the hypocrisy of a lot of people on these type of threads who'll publically proclaim how infidelity is the worst thing since Ebola but then message privately saying my wedding ring is a turn on, never fails to amaze me. " there is a place for everyone on here....as long as people are straight about their circumstances, ....if you are married and prentend your single and lure someone in...that is wrong....and if your single and treat this site as a dating site...that is wrong....its a swingers site where those that want to can contact each other to meet for mutual fun....one on one, threesome or group...black or white etc | |||
"Playing devil's advocate a bit here...why is the assumption always that cheating is going to end in ruined lives, divorce, vengeful partners hunting down people who they feel have contributed to them being wronged.... Yes this does happen and yes it's bad. It's equally possible for someone in a complicated situation (whether you agree with someone's actions or not, nothing is black and white) to quietly and discreetly fulfil some need or other without causing the sort of chaos and carnage being described. For the record, yes I'm engaged in what a lot of people would class as cheating. I make my status clear on my profile so I don't waste my time, and wouldn't in a million years approach someone who stated they disagreed with what I was doing. However the hypocrisy of a lot of people on these type of threads who'll publically proclaim how infidelity is the worst thing since Ebola but then message privately saying my wedding ring is a turn on, never fails to amaze me. there is a place for everyone on here....as long as people are straight about their circumstances, ....if you are married and prentend your single and lure someone in...that is wrong....and if your single and treat this site as a dating site...that is wrong....its a swingers site where those that want to can contact each other to meet for mutual fun....one on one, threesome or group...black or white etc" Im not looking for a partner but I think this would be the perfect place to look if I was. Find somebody who's into the same thing without having to have that awkward conversation and the prospect of being rejected because of my sexual preferences. | |||
"Sex is not a human right, cant beleive I read that further up. Its our choice to not knowingly meet anyone that is playing behind a partners back, and we try our best to ensure this is always the case, although it can never be 100% certain as people can be good liars, we do what we can to sniff them out and stay clear, we have our many reasons for this, but mainly because we chose to indulge in this lifestyle to have fun and swing, not to hurt people, ruin marriages/families or help anyone cheat. If sex is not a human right how would you feel if it was taken away from you? So you never have sex again. Based on your "I can't believe" statement you would not be too bothered.
its not if it isnt a human right, its quite simply that it isnt a human right, no one, man or woman has the right to expect sex with someone else, everyone has the right to say no at anytime, and if sex was suddenly taken away from me as you asked, of course id be terribly dissapointed, gutted, annoyed to name a few but never would I feel like one of my rights had been taken away from me, sex should be consensual and never done as though someone is taking there right, thats what you call rape." | |||
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"Sex is not a human right, cant beleive I read that further up. Its our choice to not knowingly meet anyone that is playing behind a partners back, and we try our best to ensure this is always the case, although it can never be 100% certain as people can be good liars, we do what we can to sniff them out and stay clear, we have our many reasons for this, but mainly because we chose to indulge in this lifestyle to have fun and swing, not to hurt people, ruin marriages/families or help anyone cheat. If sex is not a human right how would you feel if it was taken away from you? So you never have sex again. Based on your "I can't believe" statement you would not be too bothered.
its not if it isnt a human right, its quite simply that it isnt a human right, no one, man or woman has the right to expect sex with someone else, everyone has the right to say no at anytime, and if sex was suddenly taken away from me as you asked, of course id be terribly dissapointed, gutted, annoyed to name a few but never would I feel like one of my rights had been taken away from me, sex should be consensual and never done as though someone is taking there right, thats what you call rape."I agree forcing sex on someone is rape but that is not the point being made. The key issue here is if XX withdrew sex from their partner; but YY is very happy to consent to having sex, then it not rape for the partner to seek sex from an alternative source. Why should XX's right to say "No" trump YY's right to a sex life? For those that are married but swing, and say it is not breaking their vows because they have agreed to swing, remember many of you swore to adhere to "and forsaking all others, keep thee only unto her/him as long as you both shall live" there is no Rider that says "unless and until otherwise agreed between the parties, acting reasonably." | |||
"Sex is not a human right, cant beleive I read that further up. Its our choice to not knowingly meet anyone that is playing behind a partners back, and we try our best to ensure this is always the case, although it can never be 100% certain as people can be good liars, we do what we can to sniff them out and stay clear, we have our many reasons for this, but mainly because we chose to indulge in this lifestyle to have fun and swing, not to hurt people, ruin marriages/families or help anyone cheat. If sex is not a human right how would you feel if it was taken away from you? So you never have sex again. Based on your "I can't believe" statement you would not be too bothered.
its not if it isnt a human right, its quite simply that it isnt a human right, no one, man or woman has the right to expect sex with someone else, everyone has the right to say no at anytime, and if sex was suddenly taken away from me as you asked, of course id be terribly dissapointed, gutted, annoyed to name a few but never would I feel like one of my rights had been taken away from me, sex should be consensual and never done as though someone is taking there right, thats what you call rape.
I agree forcing sex on someone is rape but that is not the point being made. The key issue here is if XX withdrew sex from their partner; but YY is very happy to consent to having sex, then it not rape for the partner to seek sex from an alternative source. Why should XX's right to say "No" trump YY's right to a sex life?
For those that are married but swing, and say it is not breaking their vows because they have agreed to swing, remember many of you swore to adhere to "and forsaking all others, keep thee only unto her/him as long as you both shall live" there is no Rider that says "unless and until otherwise agreed between the parties, acting reasonably." "no it isnt, the point been made is that sex is a human right, it isnt, sex is something we want to do for fun, or that we need to do in order to procreate, no one has a right to have sex, and at anytime anyone can always say no. | |||
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"Sex is not a human right, cant beleive I read that further up. Its our choice to not knowingly meet anyone that is playing behind a partners back, and we try our best to ensure this is always the case, although it can never be 100% certain as people can be good liars, we do what we can to sniff them out and stay clear, we have our many reasons for this, but mainly because we chose to indulge in this lifestyle to have fun and swing, not to hurt people, ruin marriages/families or help anyone cheat. If sex is not a human right how would you feel if it was taken away from you? So you never have sex again. Based on your "I can't believe" statement you would not be too bothered.
its not if it isnt a human right, its quite simply that it isnt a human right, no one, man or woman has the right to expect sex with someone else, everyone has the right to say no at anytime, and if sex was suddenly taken away from me as you asked, of course id be terribly dissapointed, gutted, annoyed to name a few but never would I feel like one of my rights had been taken away from me, sex should be consensual and never done as though someone is taking there right, thats what you call rape.
I agree forcing sex on someone is rape but that is not the point being made. The key issue here is if XX withdrew sex from their partner; but YY is very happy to consent to having sex, then it not rape for the partner to seek sex from an alternative source. Why should XX's right to say "No" trump YY's right to a sex life?
For those that are married but swing, and say it is not breaking their vows because they have agreed to swing, remember many of you swore to adhere to "and forsaking all others, keep thee only unto her/him as long as you both shall live" there is no Rider that says "unless and until otherwise agreed between the parties, acting reasonably."
no it isnt, the point been made is that sex is a human right, it isnt, sex is something we want to do for fun, or that we need to do in order to procreate, no one has a right to have sex, and at anytime anyone can always say no."With respect you, like others, are focussing on the rights of one reluctant individual to refuse; which I do not deny. I am considering what I believe to be the right of an individual to have sex with ANY consenting adult. If one of the key reasons Mrs HH married her husband was to have sex then if he withdraws it she has the legal right to sue for divorce on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour. Consequently the Law recognises sex as a right but not in recent times to the extent that it can be forced on a reluctant partner. There are approximately 9 billion people on earth split equally between male and female. It is conceivable that if Mrs HH's husband refuses to have sex with her she can find one adult man from the 4.5 billion males that will willingly consent to have sex with her. If her partner has refused her human and marital right to sex, isn't she, in some small way, justified in getting it elsewhere? Those on here without sin on the high moral ground, who have never, ever, lied or deceived in their lives, will say divorce first. However, human life is not that simple and as many on here have witnessed, partners in sexless marriages do look elsewhere for sex before the marriage is over. Are they always in the 100% wrong? | |||
"UN convention on human rights confers the right to sexual liberty with regard to preference, however I think you'd have difficulty arguing that a person has a 'right' to have the physical act. However article 8 does state that persons have a right to a family life, which is compromised by adulterers. Therefore could argue that cheats are contravening the human rights of those they are married to.
How can you have "sexual liberty" if sex is not included as a right? I am of course talking about consenting adults.
The right to a family life no doubt includes the right to have concentual sex. If one partner, for whatever reason, withdraws from having sex, then surely the partner who wants sex is having their right to a family life contravened."to have sex is a privilege not a right. To say NO is a right . | |||
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"UN convention on human rights confers the right to sexual liberty with regard to preference, however I think you'd have difficulty arguing that a person has a 'right' to have the physical act. However article 8 does state that persons have a right to a family life, which is compromised by adulterers. Therefore could argue that cheats are contravening the human rights of those they are married to.
How can you have "sexual liberty" if sex is not included as a right? I am of course talking about consenting adults.
The right to a family life no doubt includes the right to have concentual sex. If one partner, for whatever reason, withdraws from having sex, then surely the partner who wants sex is having their right to a family life contravened.
to have sex is a privilege not a right. To say NO is a right ."Then withdrawal of that "privilege" is considered unreasonable behaviour under the law and is grounds for divorce. Looks more like a right to me but not with a reluctant individual. | |||
"UN convention on human rights confers the right to sexual liberty with regard to preference, however I think you'd have difficulty arguing that a person has a 'right' to have the physical act. However article 8 does state that persons have a right to a family life, which is compromised by adulterers. Therefore could argue that cheats are contravening the human rights of those they are married to.
How can you have "sexual liberty" if sex is not included as a right? I am of course talking about consenting adults.
The right to a family life no doubt includes the right to have concentual sex. If one partner, for whatever reason, withdraws from having sex, then surely the partner who wants sex is having their right to a family life contravened.
to have sex is a privilege not a right. To say NO is a right .
Then withdrawal of that "privilege" is considered unreasonable behaviour under the law and is grounds for divorce. Looks more like a right to me but not with a reluctant individual."I suppose the question would be, how are you or anyone else going to enforce that "right" | |||
"Sex is not a human right, cant beleive I read that further up. Its our choice to not knowingly meet anyone that is playing behind a partners back, and we try our best to ensure this is always the case, although it can never be 100% certain as people can be good liars, we do what we can to sniff them out and stay clear, we have our many reasons for this, but mainly because we chose to indulge in this lifestyle to have fun and swing, not to hurt people, ruin marriages/families or help anyone cheat. If sex is not a human right how would you feel if it was taken away from you? So you never have sex again. Based on your "I can't believe" statement you would not be too bothered.
its not if it isnt a human right, its quite simply that it isnt a human right, no one, man or woman has the right to expect sex with someone else, everyone has the right to say no at anytime, and if sex was suddenly taken away from me as you asked, of course id be terribly dissapointed, gutted, annoyed to name a few but never would I feel like one of my rights had been taken away from me, sex should be consensual and never done as though someone is taking there right, thats what you call rape.
I agree forcing sex on someone is rape but that is not the point being made. The key issue here is if XX withdrew sex from their partner; but YY is very happy to consent to having sex, then it not rape for the partner to seek sex from an alternative source. Why should XX's right to say "No" trump YY's right to a sex life?
For those that are married but swing, and say it is not breaking their vows because they have agreed to swing, remember many of you swore to adhere to "and forsaking all others, keep thee only unto her/him as long as you both shall live" there is no Rider that says "unless and until otherwise agreed between the parties, acting reasonably."
no it isnt, the point been made is that sex is a human right, it isnt, sex is something we want to do for fun, or that we need to do in order to procreate, no one has a right to have sex, and at anytime anyone can always say no.
With respect you, like others, are focussing on the rights of one reluctant individual to refuse; which I do not deny. I am considering what I believe to be the right of an individual to have sex with ANY consenting adult.
If one of the key reasons Mrs HH married her husband was to have sex then if he withdraws it she has the legal right to sue for divorce on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour. Consequently the Law recognises sex as a right but not in recent times to the extent that it can be forced on a reluctant partner.
There are approximately 9 billion people on earth split equally between male and female. It is conceivable that if Mrs HH's husband refuses to have sex with her she can find one adult man from the 4.5 billion males that will willingly consent to have sex with her. If her partner has refused her human and marital right to sex, isn't she, in some small way, justified in getting it elsewhere?
Those on here without sin on the high moral ground, who have never, ever, lied or deceived in their lives, will say divorce first. However, human life is not that simple and as many on here have witnessed, partners in sexless marriages do look elsewhere for sex before the marriage is over. Are they always in the 100% wrong?" | |||
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" Then withdrawal of that "privilege" is considered unreasonable behaviour under the law and is grounds for divorce. Looks more like a right to me but not with a reluctant individual. I suppose the question would be, how are you or anyone else going to enforce that "right"" In the past it was called conjugal rights but in this enlightened time forced sex is not allowed so the only alternative us to seek it elsewhere. You cannt stop someone from having sex without infringing their human rights. | |||
"Sex is not a human right, cant beleive I read that further up. Its our choice to not knowingly meet anyone that is playing behind a partners back, and we try our best to ensure this is always the case, although it can never be 100% certain as people can be good liars, we do what we can to sniff them out and stay clear, we have our many reasons for this, but mainly because we chose to indulge in this lifestyle to have fun and swing, not to hurt people, ruin marriages/families or help anyone cheat. If sex is not a human right how would you feel if it was taken away from you? So you never have sex again. Based on your "I can't believe" statement you would not be too bothered.
its not if it isnt a human right, its quite simply that it isnt a human right, no one, man or woman has the right to expect sex with someone else, everyone has the right to say no at anytime, and if sex was suddenly taken away from me as you asked, of course id be terribly dissapointed, gutted, annoyed to name a few but never would I feel like one of my rights had been taken away from me, sex should be consensual and never done as though someone is taking there right, thats what you call rape.
I agree forcing sex on someone is rape but that is not the point being made. The key issue here is if XX withdrew sex from their partner; but YY is very happy to consent to having sex, then it not rape for the partner to seek sex from an alternative source. Why should XX's right to say "No" trump YY's right to a sex life?
For those that are married but swing, and say it is not breaking their vows because they have agreed to swing, remember many of you swore to adhere to "and forsaking all others, keep thee only unto her/him as long as you both shall live" there is no Rider that says "unless and until otherwise agreed between the parties, acting reasonably."
no it isnt, the point been made is that sex is a human right, it isnt, sex is something we want to do for fun, or that we need to do in order to procreate, no one has a right to have sex, and at anytime anyone can always say no.
With respect you, like others, are focussing on the rights of one reluctant individual to refuse; which I do not deny. I am considering what I believe to be the right of an individual to have sex with ANY consenting adult.
If one of the key reasons Mrs HH married her husband was to have sex then if he withdraws it she has the legal right to sue for divorce on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour. Consequently the Law recognises sex as a right but not in recent times to the extent that it can be forced on a reluctant partner.
There are approximately 9 billion people on earth split equally between male and female. It is conceivable that if Mrs HH's husband refuses to have sex with her she can find one adult man from the 4.5 billion males that will willingly consent to have sex with her. If her partner has refused her human and marital right to sex, isn't she, in some small way, justified in getting it elsewhere?
Those on here without sin on the high moral ground, who have never, ever, lied or deceived in their lives, will say divorce first. However, human life is not that simple and as many on here have witnessed, partners in sexless marriages do look elsewhere for sex before the marriage is over. Are they always in the 100% wrong?"I can guarantee you 100%, that in no court of law in this country at least, would it be grounds for divorce that sex stopped happening in a marriage, be that 1 party went of it/lost interest, someone couldnt do it anymore (through an accident) or whatever, sex is a consenual thing and cannot be forced upon anyone in anyway, and by withdrawing it alone there are no grounds for a legal divorce in this country, this comes from been totally in the no on this subject, sex is not a right, people want to have sex and get very strong urges to have sex, it feels very natural to have sex because thats how we create life, but thats where people that cheat get confused, between the want to do it, the extreme urges to do it and need to do it, theres a difference. | |||
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"Where did this turn into a debate about is sex a human right? No one "needs" sex. It's totally legitimate to want it though, and basically that's what's behind most incidences of cheating whether you agree with it or not. So when you boil it down we're all on this site for the same reason. (Except for those who are just here to sit and cast their judgement on the rest of us). " I love this woman | |||
"Where did this turn into a debate about is sex a human right? No one "needs" sex. It's totally legitimate to want it though, and basically that's what's behind most incidences of cheating whether you agree with it or not. So when you boil it down we're all on this site for the same reason. (Except for those who are just here to sit and cast their judgement on the rest of us). " Yes, well said. | |||
"Where did this turn into a debate about is sex a human right? No one "needs" sex. It's totally legitimate to want it though, and basically that's what's behind most incidences of cheating whether you agree with it or not. So when you boil it down we're all on this site for the same reason. (Except for those who are just here to sit and cast their judgement on the rest of us). " further up there, when someone ridiculously said, sex is a human right, thats where it started, threads often go of the original subject but then isnt that what a discussion forum is about, to discuss things. | |||
" Then withdrawal of that "privilege" is considered unreasonable behaviour under the law and is grounds for divorce. Looks more like a right to me but not with a reluctant individual. I suppose the question would be, how are you or anyone else going to enforce that "right" In the past it was called conjugal rights but in this enlightened time forced sex is not allowed so the only alternative us to seek it elsewhere. You cannt stop someone from having sex without infringing their human rights." I don't think anyone is proposing that they stop someone having sex, just that they choose not to have it with those individuals... If there is no sex between individuals within a relationship I don't believe anyone now would be able to argue that they have a right to the use of the body of their partner to stop their human rights being compromised and they obviously can't stop them going outside of the relationship to seek sexual gratification but they have every right to choose not to remain in a relationship with someone who conducts themselves in that way | |||
" Then withdrawal of that "privilege" is considered unreasonable behaviour under the law and is grounds for divorce. Looks more like a right to me but not with a reluctant individual. I suppose the question would be, how are you or anyone else going to enforce that "right" In the past it was called conjugal rights but in this enlightened time forced sex is not allowed so the only alternative us to seek it elsewhere. You cannt stop someone from having sex without infringing their human rights." I think terms of the act in a way which would be supportable would be that people have the right to choose to pursue, seek out and indulge in legal mutually consensual sexual acts and nobody can stop them from doing that, not the absolute right to sex per se...It would be impossible to support otherwise | |||
"Playing devil's advocate a bit here...why is the assumption always that cheating is going to end in ruined lives, divorce, vengeful partners hunting down people who they feel have contributed to them being wronged.... Yes this does happen and yes it's bad. It's equally possible for someone in a complicated situation (whether you agree with someone's actions or not, nothing is black and white) to quietly and discreetly fulfil some need or other without causing the sort of chaos and carnage being described. For the record, yes I'm engaged in what a lot of people would class as cheating. I make my status clear on my profile so I don't waste my time, and wouldn't in a million years approach someone who stated they disagreed with what I was doing. However the hypocrisy of a lot of people on these type of threads who'll publically proclaim how infidelity is the worst thing since Ebola but then message privately saying my wedding ring is a turn on, never fails to amaze me. "
I admire this ladies honesty on here a lot and also agree with what she has said. | |||
"May I add to the debate? If a man will not have sex with his wife and consequently starves her of sexual pleasure, satisfaction and physical relief; is that anywhere near as bad as the wife, starved of sex, seeking NSA sex elsewhere?
Both are indicative of a defunct relationship."Not necessarily. A relationship can have everything except the sex .. but sex is a necessary function..and unfortunately, sometimes there is no alternative. For a swingers site it can be so judgemental. Ive found some (not you personally) real self-righteous bigots on here. We all have our limits and boundaries and they differ widely. Live and let live people. Have sex and be happy | |||
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"May I add to the debate? If a man will not have sex with his wife and consequently starves her of sexual pleasure, satisfaction and physical relief; is that anywhere near as bad as the wife, starved of sex, seeking NSA sex elsewhere?
Both are indicative of a defunct relationship.
Not necessarily. A relationship can have everything except the sex .. but sex is a necessary function..and unfortunately, sometimes there is no alternative. For a swingers site it can be so judgemental. Ive found some (not you personally) real self-righteous bigots on here. We all have our limits and boundaries and they differ widely. Live and let live people. Have sex and be happy "What she said!!!! | |||
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"There are so many " black and whiters" on these forums it does get a tad depressing. I know several married men who swing without partners but with their partners consent. Two I can think of for health reasons and one because the partner no longer wishes to participate. There is a certain lack of sophistication in thinking all is black and white. but what you explain there, isnt cheating, theres mutual consent, agreement." Thats precisely the point.The black and whiters portray all men playing without a partner as cheats. They seem unable/unwilling to look beyond the surface. | |||
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"There are so many " black and whiters" on these forums it does get a tad depressing. I know several married men who swing without partners but with their partners consent. Two I can think of for health reasons and one because the partner no longer wishes to participate. There is a certain lack of sophistication in thinking all is black and white. but what you explain there, isnt cheating, theres mutual consent, agreement. Thats precisely the point.The black and whiters portray all men playing without a partner as cheats. They seem unable/unwilling to look beyond the surface." People playing with knowledge and permission from their partner are not cheating. This thread is about cheating, behind a partner's back. It doesn't apply to anyone not cheating, whether they are in a relationship or not. | |||
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"So I get injured causing loss of sexual function . I still have a right to expect fidelity and honesty from any partner I may have at that time." Of course, that's part and parcel of a relationship. If you think it's unreasonable to expect that then talk to her and give her your blessing to see other people for sex. Her talking to you about seeing others is going to be less devastating than finding out she's cheating behind your back. Everyone condoning cheating seems to think it's less harmful for the partner not to know, without considering the very real possibility that the cheater will be caught out. I still recognise that life isn't always black and white. I still believe cheating is fundamentally wrong and though there may be reasons to do it, there's never justification. There's a difference between cheaters who know it's wrong but choose to take the risk and those that insist they are justified in doing it. I have way more respect for the former type than the later, who just come across as selfish and entitled, believing their needs to be far more important than the commitment they made to their partner and the needs of that partner. | |||
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"Well... that went swimmingly... "As usual. Posts about cheating are always contentious. This one was quite calm compared to some. | |||
"Well... that went swimmingly...
As usual. Posts about cheating are always contentious. This one was quite calm compared to some."I must say... the examples of self control here... you can tell it isnt a full moon | |||
"So I get injured causing loss of sexual function . I still have a right to expect fidelity and honesty from any partner I may have at that time. Of course, that's part and parcel of a relationship. If you think it's unreasonable to expect that then talk to her and give her your blessing to see other people for sex. Her talking to you about seeing others is going to be less devastating than finding out she's cheating behind your back. Everyone condoning cheating seems to think it's less harmful for the partner not to know, without considering the very real possibility that the cheater will be caught out. I still recognise that life isn't always black and white. I still believe cheating is fundamentally wrong and though there may be reasons to do it, there's never justification. There's a difference between cheaters who know it's wrong but choose to take the risk and those that insist they are justified in doing it. I have way more respect for the former type than the later, who just come across as selfish and entitled, believing their needs to be far more important than the commitment they made to their partner and the needs of that partner." Good points VV. Let us not kid ourselves though. Women, and some men have, for centuries, used sex in marriage as a carrot and stick. Promising sex for services rendered, to induce compliance to their will and for gifts given. It has also frequently been withheld as a punishment. Let us not always paint the person "cheated" on as a sweet innocent thown into pain and anguish by their evil cheating partner. There are two sides...... | |||
"So I get injured causing loss of sexual function . I still have a right to expect fidelity and honesty from any partner I may have at that time. Of course, that's part and parcel of a relationship. If you think it's unreasonable to expect that then talk to her and give her your blessing to see other people for sex. Her talking to you about seeing others is going to be less devastating than finding out she's cheating behind your back. Everyone condoning cheating seems to think it's less harmful for the partner not to know, without considering the very real possibility that the cheater will be caught out. I still recognise that life isn't always black and white. I still believe cheating is fundamentally wrong and though there may be reasons to do it, there's never justification. There's a difference between cheaters who know it's wrong but choose to take the risk and those that insist they are justified in doing it. I have way more respect for the former type than the later, who just come across as selfish and entitled, believing their needs to be far more important than the commitment they made to their partner and the needs of that partner. Good points VV. Let us not kid ourselves though. Women, and some men have, for centuries, used sex in marriage as a carrot and stick. Promising sex for services rendered, to induce compliance to their will and for gifts given. It has also frequently been withheld as a punishment. Let us not always paint the person "cheated" on as a sweet innocent thown into pain and anguish by their evil cheating partner. There are two sides......" There's always two sides. It's never black and white. If people are using sex as a weapon there is no relationship. | |||
" Let us not kid ourselves though. Women, and some men have, for centuries, used sex in marriage as a carrot and stick. Promising sex for services rendered, to induce compliance to their will and for gifts given. It has also frequently been withheld as a punishment. Let us not always paint the person "cheated" on as a sweet innocent thown into pain and anguish by their evil cheating partner. There are two sides...... There's always two sides. It's never black and white. If people are using sex as a weapon there is no relationship." Yes Yes Sorry, cannot agree. Sex has always been used as a weapon and reward even in good relationships. | |||
" Let us not kid ourselves though. Women, and some men have, for centuries, used sex in marriage as a carrot and stick. Promising sex for services rendered, to induce compliance to their will and for gifts given. It has also frequently been withheld as a punishment. Let us not always paint the person "cheated" on as a sweet innocent thown into pain and anguish by their evil cheating partner. There are two sides...... There's always two sides. It's never black and white. If people are using sex as a weapon there is no relationship. Yes Yes Sorry, cannot agree. Sex has always been used as a weapon and reward even in good relationships." There's some pretty fucked up relationships out there then. | |||
" Let us not kid ourselves though. Women, and some men have, for centuries, used sex in marriage as a carrot and stick. Promising sex for services rendered, to induce compliance to their will and for gifts given. It has also frequently been withheld as a punishment. Let us not always paint the person "cheated" on as a sweet innocent thown into pain and anguish by their evil cheating partner. There are two sides...... There's always two sides. It's never black and white. If people are using sex as a weapon there is no relationship. Yes Yes Sorry, cannot agree. Sex has always been used as a weapon and reward even in good relationships." I couldn't disagree more. | |||
" Let us not kid ourselves though. Women, and some men have, for centuries, used sex in marriage as a carrot and stick. Promising sex for services rendered, to induce compliance to their will and for gifts given. It has also frequently been withheld as a punishment. Let us not always paint the person "cheated" on as a sweet innocent thown into pain and anguish by their evil cheating partner. There are two sides...... There's always two sides. It's never black and white. If people are using sex as a weapon there is no relationship. Yes Yes Sorry, cannot agree. Sex has always been used as a weapon and reward even in good relationships." Perhaps, in your experience...that has never been mine but I do know people who most definitely do...I also know personally of at least several female acquaintances who use sex to entrap men into marrying them, then withdraw physically once they waltz back down the aisle... | |||
" Let us not kid ourselves though. Women, and some men have, for centuries, used sex in marriage as a carrot and stick. Promising sex for services rendered, to induce compliance to their will and for gifts given. It has also frequently been withheld as a punishment. Let us not always paint the person "cheated" on as a sweet innocent thown into pain and anguish by their evil cheating partner. There are two sides...... There's always two sides. It's never black and white. If people are using sex as a weapon there is no relationship. Yes Yes Sorry, cannot agree. Sex has always been used as a weapon and reward even in good relationships. Perhaps, in your experience...that has never been mine but I do know people who most definitely do...I also know personally of at least several female acquaintances who use sex to entrap men into marrying them, then withdraw physically once they waltz back down the aisle..." Exactly... if people are using sex as a weapon there is no relationship. | |||
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