FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Why do men want to dom me?
Why do men want to dom me?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is it about meeting someone not looking to be dominated that means some men feel that it is essential that they dominate her?
Clue me in on this please.
"
Ah, so you receive those messages too?
I call them fake/ wannabe Doms, who are missing the point of such a dynamic. Thinking they can "make" me want what they (claim) to.
But what would I know anyway  |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"What is it about meeting someone not looking to be dominated that means some men feel that it is essential that they dominate her?
Clue me in on this please.
Ah, so you receive those messages too?
I call them fake/ wannabe Doms, who are missing the point of such a dynamic. Thinking they can "make" me want what they (claim) to.
But what would I know anyway "
I get the messages but I also find that when in bed with some men they start to try to dominate me.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is it about meeting someone not looking to be dominated that means some men feel that it is essential that they dominate her?
Clue me in on this please.
"
Sadly the site is full of them. I was told by a mod that there are near enough 200 guys on the site for each fem/couple.
My own reckoning is of the 200; 100 are married chancres without the bottle to carry anything through. 50 are total nobheads who get all their messages deleted as they have 2 line profiles and not but cock pics. (Includes some of the above).
30 have read 50 shades and think it is the dogs bollocks (whereas MR C Grey would get eaten for breakfast by some of the women on this site)...they ALL fall into the OPs category.
That leaves 20...... 5 of them are too old and 5 are too young. Of the remaining 10 then 4 of them are black...so appeal to certain ladies that I probably don't appeal to.
3 of the remaining 6 can't accommodate - so that limits their chances.
The remaining three of us do very well thank you and don't feel the need to "Dom" ladies - but we can if asked! |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"What is it about meeting someone not looking to be dominated that means some men feel that it is essential that they dominate her?
Clue me in on this please.
Sadly the site is full of them. I was told by a mod that there are near enough 200 guys on the site for each fem/couple.
My own reckoning is of the 200; 100 are married chancres without the bottle to carry anything through. 50 are total nobheads who get all their messages deleted as they have 2 line profiles and not but cock pics. (Includes some of the above).
30 have read 50 shades and think it is the dogs bollocks (whereas MR C Grey would get eaten for breakfast by some of the women on this site)...they ALL fall into the OPs category.
That leaves 20...... 5 of them are too old and 5 are too young. Of the remaining 10 then 4 of them are black...so appeal to certain ladies that I probably don't appeal to.
3 of the remaining 6 can't accommodate - so that limits their chances.
The remaining three of us do very well thank you and don't feel the need to "Dom" ladies - but we can if asked!"
That's another issue I hadn't thought about - is asking to be dominated taking the lead?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is it about meeting someone not looking to be dominated that means some men feel that it is essential that they dominate her?
Clue me in on this please.
"
Stop asking questions woman, and go to my room.....and tie yourself up cos i'm too busy being awesomely Dominant to do it myself....actually, can you spank yourself too as my hands are also being awesomely Dominant  |
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"What is it about meeting someone not looking to be dominated that means some men feel that it is essential that they dominate her?
Clue me in on this please.
Sadly the site is full of them. I was told by a mod that there are near enough 200 guys on the site for each fem/couple.
My own reckoning is of the 200; 100 are married chancres without the bottle to carry anything through. 50 are total nobheads who get all their messages deleted as they have 2 line profiles and not but cock pics. (Includes some of the above).
30 have read 50 shades and think it is the dogs bollocks (whereas MR C Grey would get eaten for breakfast by some of the women on this site)...they ALL fall into the OPs category.
That leaves 20...... 5 of them are too old and 5 are too young. Of the remaining 10 then 4 of them are black...so appeal to certain ladies that I probably don't appeal to.
3 of the remaining 6 can't accommodate - so that limits their chances.
The remaining three of us do very well thank you and don't feel the need to "Dom" ladies - but we can if asked!"
So you're one of the others,nice to meet  |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"What is it about meeting someone not looking to be dominated that means some men feel that it is essential that they dominate her?
Clue me in on this please.
Stop asking questions woman, and go to my room.....and tie yourself up cos i'm too busy being awesomely Dominant to do it myself....actually, can you spank yourself too as my hands are also being awesomely Dominant "
Do I spank myself before or after I have tied myself up? |
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"What is it about meeting someone not looking to be dominated that means some men feel that it is essential that they dominate her?
Clue me in on this please.
Stop asking questions woman, and go to my room.....and tie yourself up cos i'm too busy being awesomely Dominant to do it myself....actually, can you spank yourself too as my hands are also being awesomely Dominant
Do I spank myself before or after I have tied myself up?"
Obviously after you silly bitch. |
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"What is it about meeting someone not looking to be dominated that means some men feel that it is essential that they dominate her?
Clue me in on this please.
Sadly the site is full of them. I was told by a mod that there are near enough 200 guys on the site for each fem/couple.
My own reckoning is of the 200; 100 are married chancres without the bottle to carry anything through. 50 are total nobheads who get all their messages deleted as they have 2 line profiles and not but cock pics. (Includes some of the above).
30 have read 50 shades and think it is the dogs bollocks (whereas MR C Grey would get eaten for breakfast by some of the women on this site)...they ALL fall into the OPs category.
That leaves 20...... 5 of them are too old and 5 are too young. Of the remaining 10 then 4 of them are black...so appeal to certain ladies that I probably don't appeal to.
3 of the remaining 6 can't accommodate - so that limits their chances.
The remaining three of us do very well thank you and don't feel the need to "Dom" ladies - but we can if asked!"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is it about meeting someone not looking to be dominated that means some men feel that it is essential that they dominate her?
Clue me in on this please.
Sadly the site is full of them. I was told by a mod that there are near enough 200 guys on the site for each fem/couple.
My own reckoning is of the 200; 100 are married chancres without the bottle to carry anything through. 50 are total nobheads who get all their messages deleted as they have 2 line profiles and not but cock pics. (Includes some of the above).
30 have read 50 shades and think it is the dogs bollocks (whereas MR C Grey would get eaten for breakfast by some of the women on this site)...they ALL fall into the OPs category.
That leaves 20...... 5 of them are too old and 5 are too young. Of the remaining 10 then 4 of them are black...so appeal to certain ladies that I probably don't appeal to.
3 of the remaining 6 can't accommodate - so that limits their chances.
The remaining three of us do very well thank you and don't feel the need to "Dom" ladies - but we can if asked!
That's another issue I hadn't thought about - is asking to be dominated taking the lead?
"
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Many men like the idea of being dom without understanding the dom/ sub dynamic, I don't know if it's the "I'm alpha male" or " I'm dom because it's fashionable" due to the whole 50 shades thing and I'm worried the films going to bring out a whole new wave of this bulshit or it could just be they watch too much porn and think it's about using the girl as they wish to get off ! I just don't know, I see alot of these kinda posts and I don't get why it seems to be so important to guys ( generally) to force this, if you actually talk to the wannabes they fall flat on there face. Why not just say I'm a lazy guy and wanna get fucked and be honest!! |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Many men like the idea of being dom without understanding the dom/ sub dynamic, I don't know if it's the "I'm alpha male" or " I'm dom because it's fashionable" due to the whole 50 shades thing and I'm worried the films going to bring out a whole new wave of this bulshit or it could just be they watch too much porn and think it's about using the girl as they wish to get off ! I just don't know, I see alot of these kinda posts and I don't get why it seems to be so important to guys ( generally) to force this, if you actually talk to the wannabes they fall flat on there face. Why not just say I'm a lazy guy and wanna get fucked and be honest!!"
I happily give control to the odd friend as a gift but I would never start out that way. You need trust if you hand over control and I don't see how that is possible on a one off or first meet.
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I have to ask. What exactly do they do. Are we talking a slap on the arsenal whilst fucking. Or do they whip out their collection if leather chaps, ropes, whips and nipple clamps. We've done some light bondage but I'd have not the slightest clue what doming is. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I have to ask. What exactly do they do. Are we talking a slap on the arsenal whilst fucking. Or do they whip out their collection if leather chaps, ropes, whips and nipple clamps. We've done some light bondage but I'd have not the slightest clue what doming is."
The messages often refer to them as bulls and describe what they will do to me. The meets go into denying me, pinning me down, forcing my head down etc. so that I have to stop play and explain the boundaries again and walk away.
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"It's got to be a caveman instinct.
"Me man, you woman, me hit on head with a club"
Me woman, me bite cock off if you man hit me on head.
"
For hitting you on the head with a mint choc club 
That's a bit harsh |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"It's got to be a caveman instinct.
"Me man, you woman, me hit on head with a club"
Me woman, me bite cock off if you man hit me on head.
For hitting you on the head with a mint choc club
That's a bit harsh "
I must be a domme. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"did you ask them ?"
I have asked the ones I have met and they say things like it's what women like and that it's more fun like that. When I have countered that there is nothing that I have said or done to indicate that's what interests me one said that made me exactly "the sort of woman [who] would enjoy it most"
What sort of logic is that? |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"did you ask them ?
I have asked the ones I have met and they say things like it's what women like and that it's more fun like that. When I have countered that there is nothing that I have said or done to indicate that's what interests me one said that made me exactly "the sort of woman [who] would enjoy it most"
What sort of logic is that? "
theirs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This attitude you describe is becoming more common, judging by messages im getting, too. There are women who like being treated like that, even women who ask to be so treated. The error comes with the man presuming that either ALL women like it or that they can MAKE a women like it. Frankly, if those same men stumble across a Domme and try with her what they've tried with you..... they'll get a swift shock. Not every woman is of a submissive nature when it comes to sex, full stop. Also, to add to the situation some women wouldn't tell the guy that they didn't like what he was doing/had done. If they're not told, they hhave no reason to disbelieve their delusions of Domhood. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Immature springs to mind.
Amateur porn stars.
The words, the actions, are all straight out of the porn they have been conditioned by.
Clueless fucking idiots."
I very rarely swear or call people idiots but to your comment from me. |
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" Are we talking a slap on the arsenal whilst fucking. "
I (D) must be doing it wrong because if I am busy fucking a woman there is no way of slapping her arse, well not without withdrawing completely which is generally not a mood enhancing thing to do. The outside of her buttock maybe, which is generally painful and marks badly, a few idiots have tried this with N and been told to stop or f off. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I hate the way 'Dom' is bandied around, often adds to the already single male perception, which isn't great.
And it's so personal as well, some _iew a little rough play or physical sex as quite dominant, others _iew it as using spreaders, spanking paddles etc and others _iew it as the actual dom / sub relationship which is another level again. All are based on individual tastes, boundaries etc but I don't think many guys care on what the female thinks of the above, by what it seems anyway? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally its something i would take the lead from the person i am playing with. Its not something i would automatically do. I played with a woman on Thursday who liked deep throat and being pushed on my cock. We have played together before. Would i treat the next female i meet the same? Certainly not. I have had discussions with a fem about 'domming' her, but it was all fantasy.
If both parties aren't enjoying themselves, then its not fun. So, if you are uncomfortable, you should ask them to leave. After all it should be fun for you too! |
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i dont dom .. i hope i treat my playmates as equals .. but if hints of extra thrills from assuming certain roles add to the thrill then i ll take symbolic dom styles .. i would never do to someone else what i wouldnt have them do to me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is it about meeting someone not looking to be dominated that means some men feel that it is essential that they dominate her?
Clue me in on this please.
Sadly the site is full of them. I was told by a mod that there are near enough 200 guys on the site for each fem/couple.
My own reckoning is of the 200; 100 are married chances without the bottle to carry anything through. 50 are total nobheads who get all their messages deleted as they have 2 line profiles and not but cock pics. (Includes some of the above).
30 have read 50 shades and think it is the dogs bollocks (whereas MR C Grey would get eaten for breakfast by some of the women on this site)...they ALL fall into the OPs category.
That leaves 20...... 5 of them are too old and 5 are too young. Of the remaining 10 then 4 of them are black...so appeal to certain ladies that I probably don't appeal to.
3 of the remaining 6 can't accommodate - so that limits their chances.
The remaining three of us do very well thank you and don't feel the need to "Dom" ladies - but we can if asked!"
Adds to this of the mentioned 50 49 1/2 can't read just go straight to pictures and send out a message "Want to fuck u now"... great .. the poor 3 guys at the end of the list have no chance...
The reasoning for this "doming" is simple go to Asda/Tesco/Morrisons and look at the books they are selling "50 Shades of Rubbish".. answers all  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"did you ask them ?
I have asked the ones I have met and they say things like it's what women like and that it's more fun like that. When I have countered that there is nothing that I have said or done to indicate that's what interests me one said that made me exactly "the sort of woman [who] would enjoy it most"
What sort of logic is that?
theirs "
I agree. OP, your post kind of comes across as though you think they are taking clues from you. That somehow it's your 'fault' (I don't mean fault, can't think of a better way to explain it sorry) that they are behaving that way towards you.
I think it's all in their head/ what porn and the media has told them that women want.
Possibly also a back handed compliment- strong women (sometimes) want to relinquish control in bed... |
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"What is it about meeting someone not looking to be dominated that means some men feel that it is essential that they dominate her?
Clue me in on this please.
"
often small man sydrome in my experience (fem) lol  |
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"What is it about meeting someone not looking to be dominated that means some men feel that it is essential that they dominate her?
Clue me in on this please.
"
A pair of fluffy handcuffs, a bit of string, and learning some lines such as 'On your knees, bitch' and 'Suck this', is all that it takes.
Personally I believe that 50 Shades of Shiite should be burned; Ray bradbury had the right idea on this.
Just to make life more depressing, there's a fu**ing film coming, too. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"did you ask them ?
I have asked the ones I have met and they say things like it's what women like and that it's more fun like that. When I have countered that there is nothing that I have said or done to indicate that's what interests me one said that made me exactly "the sort of woman [who] would enjoy it most"
What sort of logic is that?
theirs
I agree. OP, your post kind of comes across as though you think they are taking clues from you. That somehow it's your 'fault' (I don't mean fault, can't think of a better way to explain it sorry) that they are behaving that way towards you.
I think it's all in their head/ what porn and the media has told them that women want.
Possibly also a back handed compliment- strong women (sometimes) want to relinquish control in bed..."
Thanks. I hadn't identified that I was thinking it was something I was inviting - it's good to see how others perceive things and reflect on that.
I have found the responses interesting.
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I'd love to see someone try and dom you. It would be piss funny. They'd probably not even realise you are toying with them and inverting the conventions "
It makes me laugh (with derision) when they spank me.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's the flouncers that just make me giggle...the how dare you turn me down you don't know what you're missing, all women need to submit to me to make them complete brigade...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some men love the control. Unless they have it, it's not exciting to them. Gav and I take turns bring in control, it's the best way to be. A bit of both goes a long way On meets, this is something we have a clear understanding of beforehand, because it's nervous enough meeting somebody new for things! C xx |
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