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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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It is frustrating, as a single man, to message a woman who is showing as being online. By the time the message has been sent, the other person/couple has logged off. When they come back online, the message I've sent is bottom of the pile. Most recent messages show at the top. So there's a good chance my message has been buried or will go missing (drop of the screen). Invariably it won't be read.
Anyone else get frustrated by this? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It is frustrating, as a single man, to message a woman who is showing as being online. By the time the message has been sent, the other person/couple has logged off. When they come back online, the message I've sent is bottom of the pile. Most recent messages show at the top. So there's a good chance my message has been buried or will go missing (drop of the screen). Invariably it won't be read.
Anyone else get frustrated by this?"
Yep, it's ridiculous that mails aren't received chronologically on here, the current system is like walking into a bank and going straight to the front of the queue. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Tbh mate the little black avatar will get your message ignored or deleted far more often than being bottom of the pile.
Stick something there anything (aside from your cock) is better than nothing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Tbh mate the little black avatar will get your message ignored or deleted far more often than being bottom of the pile.
Stick something there anything (aside from your cock) is better than nothing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tbh mate the little black avatar will get your message ignored or deleted far more often than being bottom of the pile.
Stick something there anything (aside from your cock) is better than nothing"
ladies on here get inundated with messages, so even if you were at the top of their message list, what makes you think they will respond? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It is frustrating, as a single man, to message a woman who is showing as being online. By the time the message has been sent, the other person/couple has logged off. When they come back online, the message I've sent is bottom of the pile. Most recent messages show at the top. So there's a good chance my message has been buried or will go missing (drop of the screen). Invariably it won't be read.
Anyone else get frustrated by this?
Yep, it's ridiculous that mails aren't received chronologically on here, the current system is like walking into a bank and going straight to the front of the queue."
Well no its exactly like every single email service in the world the standard is newest first.
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
Nope, I have a busy mailbox and do try to read all messages.
But I check profiles before I read them, so if a profile doesn't appeal, message won't get read. Same goes for profile pics - they don't appeal, message gets deleted. Its part of my selection/filter process. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If it was oldest first trying to have a conversation would be impossible as every new message you got from the person would be buried at the bottom of your list or on the other page. Forcing you to delete all you old messages just to continue the Convo you were having |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Tbh mate the little black avatar will get your message ignored or deleted far more often than being bottom of the pile.
Stick something there anything (aside from your cock) is better than nothing
ladies on here get inundated with messages, so even if you were at the top of their message list, what makes you think they will respond?"
Because I read their profiles and message accordingly. Ad for the bloke saying about avatar, I attach pics.
This post is NOT my saying people don't reply to me, simply that messages can get lost or Buried if we just miss someone.
IT IS A PROBLEM FOR ALL SINGLE MEN |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tbh mate the little black avatar will get your message ignored or deleted far more often than being bottom of the pile.
Stick something there anything (aside from your cock) is better than nothing
ladies on here get inundated with messages, so even if you were at the top of their message list, what makes you think they will respond?
Because I read their profiles and message accordingly. Ad for the bloke saying about avatar, I attach pics.
This post is NOT my saying people don't reply to me, simply that messages can get lost or Buried if we just miss someone.
IT IS A PROBLEM FOR ALL SINGLE MEN"
Yeah but people look at the profile/avatar and often delete the message based on that won't have even seen your attached pics
But how do you know this is even a problem onky way you'd see it is from no reply or deleted without read and assuming this is the reason when it could be any number of things profile being top of the list |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It is frustrating, as a single man, to message a woman who is showing as being online. By the time the message has been sent, the other person/couple has logged off. When they come back online, the message I've sent is bottom of the pile. Most recent messages show at the top. So there's a good chance my message has been buried or will go missing (drop of the screen). Invariably it won't be read.
Anyone else get frustrated by this?
Yep, it's ridiculous that mails aren't received chronologically on here, the current system is like walking into a bank and going straight to the front of the queue."
Hear, hear! And, thank you, someone who understands what I'm talking about!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Simples!
Go into sent mail. You will see some messages remain unread. They stay yellow!"
I delete my sent messages as soon as sent, no point stressing about what the recipient has done with them, you'll either get a reply or you won't. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes and? They may have done what many do loomed at your profile and decided they didn't like or are just ignoring all the blackheads and you'll get cleared out in the next bulk delete or just left forgotten on the back pages.
It doesn't mean they haven't seen your message just they weren't interested.
If your worried about being id just pic a body part bum/torso/up close eye shot and use that having a picture there makes you unique in a list of 20 messages with 19 black heads and 1 with an avatar they're the one you'll remember
also it makes it easier to recognise your future messages |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It is frustrating, as a single man, to message a woman who is showing as being online. By the time the message has been sent, the other person/couple has logged off. When they come back online, the message I've sent is bottom of the pile. Most recent messages show at the top. So there's a good chance my message has been buried or will go missing (drop of the screen). Invariably it won't be read.
Anyone else get frustrated by this?
Yep, it's ridiculous that mails aren't received chronologically on here, the current system is like walking into a bank and going straight to the front of the queue.
Hear, hear! And, thank you, someone who understands what I'm talking about! "
Right so in a system where older messages show up first think how could you possibly have a conversation?
Your new message would turn up on the last page of all her unread messages. So she'd potential have to delete hundreds just to read your reply. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thing is how one person runs there profile is there way and not everyone's choice.
Its like some putting milk in their coffee before the water (for example)
If a person wants to get back to you they will (doest matter if they are on-line or off line to be honest)
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I delete my sent messages as soon as sent, no point stressing about what the recipient has done with them, you'll either get a reply or you won't."
I do mine once a week in sent |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Simples!
Go into sent mail. You will see some messages remain unread. They stay yellow!"
I look at all profiles, just don't read the messages if the profile doesn't suit. No point in reading the message really, if they aren't your type in the first place. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"It is frustrating, as a single man, to message a woman who is showing as being online. By the time the message has been sent, the other person/couple has logged off. When they come back online, the message I've sent is bottom of the pile. Most recent messages show at the top. So there's a good chance my message has been buried or will go missing (drop of the screen). Invariably it won't be read.
Anyone else get frustrated by this?
Yep, it's ridiculous that mails aren't received chronologically on here, the current system is like walking into a bank and going straight to the front of the queue.
Hear, hear! And, thank you, someone who understands what I'm talking about!
Right so in a system where older messages show up first think how could you possibly have a conversation?
Your new message would turn up on the last page of all her unread messages. So she'd potential have to delete hundreds just to read your reply."
Exactly! Lol
I've yet to meet anyone that suffered this 'torment'. Most single guys we've met don't worry about this. When I had a single profile it didn't affect my enjoyment of the site. I've known women who's inboxes were bursting at the seams - yet they had simple mechanisms for sorting through (no avatar/cock avatar = delete, no veri's, wrong location etc).
You never hear from single guys that meet regularly, have well crafted profiles and who have patience, complaining that their messages are getting lost.
Maybe - just maybe theirs stand out and draw interest. (Profile, message title, avatar, first visible line etc.)
And those that seem to get lost are in fact sat at the top of the inbox. Unread. And pending deletion.
A |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Simples!
Go into sent mail. You will see some messages remain unread. They stay yellow!
I look at all profiles, just don't read the messages if the profile doesn't suit. No point in reading the message really, if they aren't your type in the first place."
And do you delete their messages or leave them as unread? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If it was oldest first trying to have a conversation would be impossible as every new message you got from the person would be buried at the bottom of your list or on the other page. Forcing you to delete all you old messages just to continue the Convo you were having"
I recently had the opposite. I just missed a friend, who I'd promised I'd send a fantasy story to her. She enjoyed it a lot but it nearly got lost, swamped by a load of messages from people she was not interested in!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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And don't some of the ladies on here wonder, when they see a full inbox, that someone they've been interested in has messaged them and, by the time said lady logs on 24 hours later, the message has disappeared off the screen. She misses out. Bloke doesn't bother again. Who then? |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"I get more responses by sending a pic for some reason.
Actually they often don't have a pic. "
Why message someone you can't see?
Why not concentrate on those you can clearly see are 'to you taste'?
A |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"And don't some of the ladies on here wonder, when they see a full inbox, that someone they've been interested in has messaged them and, by the time said lady logs on 24 hours later, the message has disappeared off the screen. She misses out. Bloke doesn't bother again. Who then?"
If a woman is interested - she'll message you, surely?
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And don't some of the ladies on here wonder, when they see a full inbox, that someone they've been interested in has messaged them and, by the time said lady logs on 24 hours later, the message has disappeared off the screen. She misses out. Bloke doesn't bother again. Who then?
If a woman is interested - she'll message you, surely?
A"
Agreed. Having a profile pic also will make you stand out in a sea of messages. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It is frustrating, as a single man, to message a woman who is showing as being online. By the time the message has been sent, the other person/couple has logged off. When they come back online, the message I've sent is bottom of the pile. Most recent messages show at the top. So there's a good chance my message has been buried or will go missing (drop of the screen). Invariably it won't be read.
Anyone else get frustrated by this?"
Not really if we are chatting to someone we don't want to scroll to the bottom every time to continue it would just frustrate people with all the messages for nobs being in the way. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Perhaps admin could introduce a "priority" inbox so that anyone on a priority list (friends, those on hotlist) have their messages posted in a different folder, thus avoiding some of the issues above? I recently messaged a friend who is keen to meet yet three messages were never read by her. Many more and I've though she was no longer keen. Spoke again on Sunday and she is still very keen. Just hadn't seen the other, buried, missing messages |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Perhaps admin could introduce a "priority" inbox so that anyone on a priority list (friends, those on hotlist) have their messages posted in a different folder, thus avoiding some of the issues above? I recently messaged a friend who is keen to meet yet three messages were never read by her. Many more and I've though she was no longer keen. Spoke again on Sunday and she is still very keen. Just hadn't seen the other, buried, missing messages"
Sounds like someone needs to manage their inbox better.
And I'd recommend stumping up for site supporter status as the whole message thread appears in each message.
This subject comes around often. Always started by single guys. I've yet to hear a couple or woman state that they lost track of someone 'looking to meet' due to a busy inbox.
Those that want to keep in touch - will.
Those that sit watching their sent box waiting for a message to be opened or responded to better have a hell of a lot of free time in their hands!!
It often seems to be the cry of those not getting the responses they want that it's purely down to a busy inbox.
After all - it couldn't possibly be anything else now could it? 
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Perhaps admin could introduce a "priority" inbox so that anyone on a priority list (friends, those on hotlist) have their messages posted in a different folder, thus avoiding some of the issues above? I recently messaged a friend who is keen to meet yet three messages were never read by her. Many more and I've though she was no longer keen. Spoke again on Sunday and she is still very keen. Just hadn't seen the other, buried, missing messages"
Many women have just given you advice on what would make them read your message, yet you still seam obsessed with the idea your messages are going unread is because there are holds of men they don't want to meet crowding our your messages and how the site should be changed to prevent this.
Also your "friend" seems to be trying to politely brush you off no offence. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"No I don't message people without a pic! "
So you didn't post this a few comments back? 
" I get more responses by sending a pic for some reason.
Actually they often don't have a pic."
A |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It is frustrating, as a single man, to message a woman who is showing as being online. By the time the message has been sent, the other person/couple has logged off. When they come back online, the message I've sent is bottom of the pile. Most recent messages show at the top. So there's a good chance my message has been buried or will go missing (drop of the screen). Invariably it won't be read.
Anyone else get frustrated by this?
Not really if we are chatting to someone we don't want to scroll to the bottom every time to continue it would just frustrate people with all the messages for nobs being in the way. "
Wouldn't you just quickly delete the nobs? Don't you already do so?
on answerphones - mobile or landline - you have to listen to oldest messages first, deleting the rubbish, to listen to important. Why is it different here? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Simples!
Go into sent mail. You will see some messages remain unread. They stay yellow!
I look at all profiles, just don't read the messages if the profile doesn't suit. No point in reading the message really, if they aren't your type in the first place.
And do you delete their messages or leave them as unread?"
Depends. Mostly I delete but over busy periods (such as when I've had a meet posted on here or over a bank holiday) I've left them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It is frustrating, as a single man, to message a woman who is showing as being online. By the time the message has been sent, the other person/couple has logged off. When they come back online, the message I've sent is bottom of the pile. Most recent messages show at the top. So there's a good chance my message has been buried or will go missing (drop of the screen). Invariably it won't be read.
Anyone else get frustrated by this?
Not really if we are chatting to someone we don't want to scroll to the bottom every time to continue it would just frustrate people with all the messages for nobs being in the way.
Wouldn't you just quickly delete the nobs? Don't you already do so?
on answerphones - mobile or landline - you have to listen to oldest messages first, deleting the rubbish, to listen to important. Why is it different here?"
Right because it's like your email folder.
Let's say a woman has a full front page of messages your sis at the top
She reads it likes you says a cheeky hey how's you back and sits awaiting your reply.
You read her reply and go oo la la and write out your best smooth talk and click that big ol send button.
She's sat there looking at her inbox . ...
Still sat there....
Oh wait that's right she can't see your reply as it's on the back page
She assumes you never replied blocks your profile and moves on.
You start a thread whining about how your messages always go to the back of the queue. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"It is frustrating, as a single man, to message a woman who is showing as being online. By the time the message has been sent, the other person/couple has logged off. When they come back online, the message I've sent is bottom of the pile. Most recent messages show at the top. So there's a good chance my message has been buried or will go missing (drop of the screen). Invariably it won't be read.
Anyone else get frustrated by this?
Not really if we are chatting to someone we don't want to scroll to the bottom every time to continue it would just frustrate people with all the messages for nobs being in the way.
Wouldn't you just quickly delete the nobs? Don't you already do so?
on answerphones - mobile or landline - you have to listen to oldest messages first, deleting the rubbish, to listen to important. Why is it different here?"
Who says the oldest messages won't be rubbish and the new ones important?
Your logic is fundamentally flawed!
Just because your message arrives first doesn't mean that it's of better quality, more interesting or actually going to be of more relevance than any other message sat waiting to be read. Be it a month old or 5 minutes!
A |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Simples!
Go into sent mail. You will see some messages remain unread. They stay yellow!
I look at all profiles, just don't read the messages if the profile doesn't suit. No point in reading the message really, if they aren't your type in the first place.
And do you delete their messages or leave them as unread?
Depends. Mostly I delete but over busy periods (such as when I've had a meet posted on here or over a bank holiday) I've left them. "
As you say that profiles are important thing to you, that you don't look at messages, are you happy to receive all your messages just saying "Hi" then in future? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It is frustrating, as a single man, to message a woman who is showing as being online. By the time the message has been sent, the other person/couple has logged off. When they come back online, the message I've sent is bottom of the pile. Most recent messages show at the top. So there's a good chance my message has been buried or will go missing (drop of the screen). Invariably it won't be read.
Anyone else get frustrated by this?
Not really if we are chatting to someone we don't want to scroll to the bottom every time to continue it would just frustrate people with all the messages for nobs being in the way.
Wouldn't you just quickly delete the nobs? Don't you already do so?
on answerphones - mobile or landline - you have to listen to oldest messages first, deleting the rubbish, to listen to important. Why is it different here?
Who says the oldest messages won't be rubbish and the new ones important?
Your logic is fundamentally flawed!
Just because your message arrives first doesn't mean that it's of better quality, more interesting or actually going to be of more relevance than any other message sat waiting to be read. Be it a month old or 5 minutes!
A"
No. But it doesn't get missed that way.
With respect your logic is flawed, not mine. What if the oldest is from someone who you fancy deeply? And most recent ones from the "Fancy a fuck!" brigade lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Perhaps admin could introduce a "priority" inbox so that anyone on a priority list (friends, those on hotlist) have their messages posted in a different folder, thus avoiding some of the issues above? I recently messaged a friend who is keen to meet yet three messages were never read by her. Many more and I've though she was no longer keen. Spoke again on Sunday and she is still very keen. Just hadn't seen the other, buried, missing messages
Many women have just given you advice on what would make them read your message, yet you still seam obsessed with the idea your messages are going unread is because there are holds of men they don't want to meet crowding our your messages and how the site should be changed to prevent this.
Also your "friend" seems to be trying to politely brush you off no offence."
Do not assume about my friend. We had phone sex and will be meeting. Very soon. If you assume, you make an ass etc etc! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It is frustrating, as a single man, to message a woman who is showing as being online. By the time the message has been sent, the other person/couple has logged off. When they come back online, the message I've sent is bottom of the pile. Most recent messages show at the top. So there's a good chance my message has been buried or will go missing (drop of the screen). Invariably it won't be read.
Anyone else get frustrated by this?
Not really if we are chatting to someone we don't want to scroll to the bottom every time to continue it would just frustrate people with all the messages for nobs being in the way.
Wouldn't you just quickly delete the nobs? Don't you already do so?
on answerphones - mobile or landline - you have to listen to oldest messages first, deleting the rubbish, to listen to important. Why is it different here?
Who says the oldest messages won't be rubbish and the new ones important?
Your logic is fundamentally flawed!
Just because your message arrives first doesn't mean that it's of better quality, more interesting or actually going to be of more relevance than any other message sat waiting to be read. Be it a month old or 5 minutes!
A
No. But it doesn't get missed that way.
With respect your logic is flawed, not mine. What if the oldest is from someone who you fancy deeply? And most recent ones from the "Fancy a fuck!" brigade
lol "
If someone fancies you deeply, they'll stay in contact whether you message them or not. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"It is frustrating, as a single man, to message a woman who is showing as being online. By the time the message has been sent, the other person/couple has logged off. When they come back online, the message I've sent is bottom of the pile. Most recent messages show at the top. So there's a good chance my message has been buried or will go missing (drop of the screen). Invariably it won't be read.
Anyone else get frustrated by this?
Not really if we are chatting to someone we don't want to scroll to the bottom every time to continue it would just frustrate people with all the messages for nobs being in the way.
Wouldn't you just quickly delete the nobs? Don't you already do so?
on answerphones - mobile or landline - you have to listen to oldest messages first, deleting the rubbish, to listen to important. Why is it different here?
Who says the oldest messages won't be rubbish and the new ones important?
Your logic is fundamentally flawed!
Just because your message arrives first doesn't mean that it's of better quality, more interesting or actually going to be of more relevance than any other message sat waiting to be read. Be it a month old or 5 minutes!
A
No. But it doesn't get missed that way.
With respect your logic is flawed, not mine. What if the oldest is from someone who you fancy deeply? And most recent ones from the "Fancy a fuck!" brigade lol "
What if the oldest is from the "Fancy a fuck?" Brigade and the most recent from someone you deeply fancy?
If we were that interested in someone - we'd message them, wait til the responded - and take it from there.
Rather than blame a messaging system that seems to work for 99% of the site and has done so for many a year.
And if someone is that good a friend? We'd have their phone number!!
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It is frustrating, as a single man, to message a woman who is showing as being online. By the time the message has been sent, the other person/couple has logged off. When they come back online, the message I've sent is bottom of the pile. Most recent messages show at the top. So there's a good chance my message has been buried or will go missing (drop of the screen). Invariably it won't be read.
Anyone else get frustrated by this?"
Not really |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The reason written messages come newest first is so you can physical have a conversation if they came in last you could never ever have a conversation without deleted all your messages including the ones from the co versatile your having ad an when it got long enough to fill your page.
There is a reason all email services and instant messenger a are laid out like this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Perhaps admin could introduce a "priority" inbox so that anyone on a priority list (friends, those on hotlist) have their messages posted in a different folder, thus avoiding some of the issues above? I recently messaged a friend who is keen to meet yet three messages were never read by her. Many more and I've though she was no longer keen. Spoke again on Sunday and she is still very keen. Just hadn't seen the other, buried, missing messages
Many women have just given you advice on what would make them read your message, yet you still seam obsessed with the idea your messages are going unread is because there are holds of men they don't want to meet crowding our your messages and how the site should be changed to prevent this.
Also your "friend" seems to be trying to politely brush you off no offence.
Do not assume about my friend. We had phone sex and will be meeting. Very soon. If you assume, you make an ass etc etc! "
If you have her phone number why the hell are you annoyed she's missing your messages on here text her or ring her.
Good lord it's like your physicaly trying to make it hard for yourself |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The reason written messages come newest first is so you can physical have a conversation if they came in last you could never ever have a conversation without deleted all your messages including the ones from the co versatile your having ad an when it got long enough to fill your page.
There is a reason all email services and instant messenger a are laid out like this."
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Forgive me. I was making a general point and looking for a solution, is all. Nothing to do with my avatar or content of my own messages.
I still think an extra folder where friends, those on a hotlist could be shown, with contacts from people you don't know go to the ordinary inbox might help.
Whichever way you look at it, women and couples can, and will, miss messages from single men they'd be interested in. Least it seems likely to me.
Was just a thought.
Thankfully sextbrain, at the top, understood what I meant |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
I've just copied this from a post from admin from
June 2013!
"We've made some changes to improve the inbox for everyone:
* more obvious what messages you have replied to; they are shaded out in the list
* more obvious which new messages are from people you have messaged previously (they are bright yellow)
* more obvious which new messages are from friends (they have smiley face friend icon and are in orange)
* new messages from people you've not contacted before and are not friends with are light yellow
We've also made some other cosmetic improvements to how the page is formatted for all users.
Feedback welcome
Admin x"
So if you've messaged someone before - it's clear.
If a message is from a friend - it's clear.
If it's a first message - it's clear!!
So a recipient of a message from a friend or someone you've already been messaging is easy to identify from new contacts. What you are claiming - that your messages are uniidentifiable from those sent by others - is wrong.
Short of admin providing everyone with a personal secretary to manage their inbox I really don't know what more they can do???
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Orange messages with a smiley face???? I'll keep my eyes open!
I think you have to click on "new look inbox" for that although I could be wrong."
Your definitely right...many thanks now switched to the new look messages |
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