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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Do you think every couple has a natural dominant and submissive, even though they aren't interested in Dom/Sub fantasies?
If you aren't into the Dom/Sub thing, and someone asks you "Who's the Dom?" what would you answer?
I think both of us tend to have a naturally submissive personality and are people pleasers. But then can also be assertive when we want something badly enough. Would you say that we both switch?
Dance x
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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No, I wouldn't label either of us Dom or Sub. We were asked the question recently though, even though it says we aren't into it on our profile. Why would someone ask? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think most couples have someone that usually is 'the boss' in the relationship."
Song likes to tell people I'm the boss, just because I'm better at the admin side of things I think haha |
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I think sometimes it naturally falls sub/ dom in relationships and that follows into the bed room, I think sometimes it's naturally a very switch relationship and that follows into the bedroom and I have found so many people are very dom in life but very submissive in the bedroom! I don't think there is a rule to it and the dynamic changes depending on the relationship! But more often than not it tends to repeat and there always is a dom in the bedroom no matter how you want to word it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Patently your not in to that Dom/Sub thing so your trying to apply inappropriate labels to yourselves."
So only card carrying bdsm folk are allowed to talk about anything related?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you think every couple has a natural dominant and submissive, even though they aren't interested in Dom/Sub fantasies?
If you aren't into the Dom/Sub thing, and someone asks you "Who's the Dom?" what would you answer?
I think both of us tend to have a naturally submissive personality and are people pleasers. But then can also be assertive when we want something badly enough. Would you say that we both switch?
Dance x
"
It's an interesting question, never thought of it like that. You sound switch.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In the real world I would say I'm a very dominate person but in the bedroom with the OH automatically go submissive but on the odd occasion I switch and get all dominate ,Variety is the spice of life.
S is dominate in and out of the bedroom |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for your replies. I thought it was an interesting question, but then felt a bit daft when told not to label ourselves when we're not into it.
I have a history of controlling and emotional abusive relationships, and I don't like confrontation. I think maybe I'm the kind of person that a Dominant person preys on. However, I have an inner strength and a 'dark horse' side of me that doesn't show at first, and can be rebellious. This usually takes the Controller by surprise and makes them feel threatened, and try to control me all the more.
It's part of the reason why I've changed to this lifestyle. Song and I are FWB who get on really well, but we are both independent. It feels really good to have a regular partner and friend but not feel trapped.
In the bedroom I like being told what to do, but outside of the bedroom I'm a free spirit who is afraid of being caged.
Dance x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's interesting as we have just started to explore bdsm. However in general life shel is dominant in the relationship.
But she loves playing a submissive role in the bedroom, loves to be spanked and loves it rough and loves being treated like a slut- totally different to day to day when she loves to be treated like a lady. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Most people that meet us socially even on the kink scene assume that I'm the sub and that crystal is the Domme.
As a couple we are equals, we both have our strengths and weaknesses. Sexually as a couple we have a D/s relationship. crystal switches and can be incredibly sadistic and I have been topped by a Pro-Domme friend but that is a dynamic that at present we won't explore as a couple |
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