FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Disability discrimination!

Disability discrimination!

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Why have most people got a problem when I mention I've had a 'Stroke' (no jokes please)? I don't use a wheel chair & walk unaided, but as soon as I mention 'I'm registered disabled', do they think it's a 'mental instability' I suffer from? It just infuriates me . . . !

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why have most people got a problem when I mention I've had a 'Stroke' (no jokes please)? I don't use a wheel chair & walk unaided, but as soon as I mention 'I'm registered disabled', do they think it's a 'mental instability' I suffer from? It just infuriates me . . . !"

Lot of shallow people in the world I'm afraid!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A lot of folks need educating.....

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *teveanddebsCouple over a year ago

Norwich

Just a hint, but you won't find many on here that condone infidelity

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I didn't tell one I met until we had met & she couldn't tell of my 'problem'. We still got 'messy' on the third meet, but what if their reasoning is one of me being unscrupulous & lacking honesty - it's a very tricky situation. Grrrr . . .

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

So stop telling people.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I didn't tell one I met until we had met & she couldn't tell of my 'problem'. We still got 'messy' on the third meet, but what if their reasoning is one of me being unscrupulous & lacking honesty - it's a very tricky situation. Grrrr . . ."

Grr? Are you trying to sell Frosties??

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So stop telling people.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So stop telling people.

I agree

Meet them and then if you want to tell them

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Im registered disabled as im epileptic but it hasnt stopped me getting meets. I only tell people if they ask

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/06/14 14:55:43]

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/06/14 14:55:54]

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thank you for your (constructive) responses, but I didn't ask 'how do I meet people' but WHY are people so resolute in their decision in that sex won't be enjoyable for them? PLEASE read the question!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *uckandbunnyCouple over a year ago

In your bed

Why would it be different if you did have a mental problem?

I think it will like most things come down to personal preferences.

Like those who only want BBC, redheads, skinny people, non smokers, shy types, noisy types, professionals, people with a specific disability, etc.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Some people want a fantasy of a perfect meet and don't want complications to it. Without malice they may dismiss you from their plans because you don't fit into the image they want.

There are plenty of people and clubs within your immediate area though who may be more than happy to meet. Take it from us lots happen in Beds.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't think the fact you have had a stroke would put anyone off if it's not affected you physically however I find your profile is kinda shouty and is a bit too much that would put me off not your disability

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

Lot of shallow people in the world I'm afraid!"

So...if someone doesn't want to meet me because I'm fat say, they're shallow?

Does being on this site mean you have to get a gallop on for everyone?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"Why would it be different if you did have a mental problem?

I think it will like most things come down to personal preferences.

Like those who only want BBC, redheads, skinny people, non smokers, shy types, noisy types, professionals, people with a specific disability, etc."

This!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm disabled on crutches and went to a social a couple of weeks ago we sat down with everyone else and then they all decided to get up and mingle, which is fine but was left sitting in corner everyone's backs to us. We desired to leave to which the host said to me "I feel sorry for you, not being to stand and mingle with the rest of us" I was so angry and disappointed with people

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm disabled on crutches and went to a social a couple of weeks ago we sat down with everyone else and then they all decided to get up and mingle, which is fine but was left sitting in corner everyone's backs to us. We desired to leave to which the host said to me "I feel sorry for you, not being to stand and mingle with the rest of us" I was so angry and disappointed with people "

So no one spoke to you at all?

Could you not do a bit of mingling on crutches and then sit down for a bit or did you expect everyone to come to you?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

So no one spoke to you at all?

Could you not do a bit of mingling on crutches and then sit down for a bit or did you expect everyone to come to you? "

We spoke to a couple of people when we where sitting down, they where lovely! But felt the same like we where out casts. I'm not bother by the not chatting to meant people, it was the comment afterwards that upset me. I can stand and normally mingle very well.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I cant answer as to what 'they' think about ur disability.

Personally that wouldnt put me off.

However your profile in general probably would.

So I guess it depends if they change their attitude towards u as soon as u tellt them about ur disability.

(If they do then id say they arnt worth worrying about anyway)

Otherwise it might be you reading too much into it

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Infidelity condoned, expected ? Think you have a bigger problem than shouting about your disability !

Good luck all the same

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Im registered disabled as im epileptic but it hasnt stopped me getting meets. I only tell people if they ask"

me too, thought I'm not registered disabled, my condition does not stop me from doing anything, except driving, but loads of people don't drive, i don't tell people i meet as i see no need to, i tell people things on here on a need to know basis, if you have had a stroke but recovered i see no reason why you would mention it

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Arrrg! lol

I've got Aspergers, Dyslexia and Dyspraxia - when I tell people it does not seem to put them off. I've only had positive responses (I think?) from the people I have met and it has provided a talking point.

As for people who would not meet me because of these conditions, they aren't worth it, and it's their perogotive - I can't insist they like me lol.

The thing that gets me is work - currently in a long dispute and off sick over how they are treating my disability, so not getting any money. Of course hotels, clubs, drinks and petrol cost a lot which makes this aspect very frustering!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Out of curiousity, you seem to imply that people with mental health issues are best avoided but are indignant that people make a similar uneducated opinion about you - why is that?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Out of curiousity, you seem to imply that people with mental health issues are best avoided but are indignant that people make a similar uneducated opinion about you - why is that?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

why do you feel you need to mention it?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A lot of folks need educating..... "

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't think the fact you have had a stroke would put anyone off if it's not affected you physically however I find your profile is kinda shouty and is a bit too much that would put me off not your disability "

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *nne CallanWoman over a year ago

Nothing to see here. Please move along.

So no one spoke to you at all?

Could you not do a bit of mingling on crutches and then sit down for a bit or did you expect everyone to come to you?

Me and my pink stick get into loads of trouble at socials. I drag chairs to people and people to chairs. I trip over my crutch and leave it in the pub when my legs are full of voka. A stick is a tool it is not who you are.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

why do you feel you need to mention it?"

Maybe because sometimes when people have had a stroke they talk like they are d*unk. little things like that.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *adybee77Woman over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

Out of curiousity, you seem to imply that people with mental health issues are best avoided but are indignant that people make a similar uneducated opinion about you - why is that?

As has already been said, disability fine, profile = no chance.

Cannot judge on other people not meeting because of it tho, as I don't know their thought processes.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

why were you angry and disappointed? did you make any effort to talk to people? could you have moved so your back wasnt facing people?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

why do you feel you need to mention it?

Maybe because sometimes when people have had a stroke they talk like they are d*unk. little things like that.

but he said that one of his meets didnt know and couldnt tell until he told her

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Brilliant wig dude!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

So no one spoke to you at all?

Could you not do a bit of mingling on crutches and then sit down for a bit or did you expect everyone to come to you?

Lol yep

I've had some amazing meet but it's the odd few that don't understand and "feel sorry for me" I don't want symphony I just wanna have fun!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

why were you angry and disappointed? did you make any effort to talk to people? could you have moved so your back wasnt facing people?"

I was upset because they "felt sorry for me" me and my plus one had a nice evening

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

why were you angry and disappointed? did you make any effort to talk to people? could you have moved so your back wasnt facing people?

I was upset because they "felt sorry for me" me and my plus one had a nice evening "

oh, ok....i get that then, sorry!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

why were you angry and disappointed? did you make any effort to talk to people? could you have moved so your back wasnt facing people?

I was upset because they "felt sorry for me" me and my plus one had a nice evening

oh, ok....i get that then, sorry!"

I'm pretty laid back about my disability, I am what am take me of leave me that's up to you. I've never had someone via here say that to my face, I was just shocked tbh, and then they did not understand why I was upset

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

why do you feel you need to mention it?

Maybe because sometimes when people have had a stroke they talk like they are d*unk. little things like that.

but he said that one of his meets didnt know and couldnt tell until he told her"

Some people are less observent.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

Would you rather people meet you even if they don't want to?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"So stop telling people.

Then that'd be a REAL let down if they discovered only upon meeting. I've tried it & have been disappointed . . .

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So stop telling people.

Then that'd be a REAL let down if they discovered only upon meeting. I've tried it & have been disappointed . . ."

When i wrote that comment you had given the impression tha there were no visible issues with your stroke. You said your meet had no idea. Since then you've said you're on crutches so there's no need to be a smart alec about it. Maybe that's the issue.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *reelove1969Couple over a year ago

bristol

...pppssstttt !!! ... some people thrive on dramas !

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I NEVER said I was on crutches! I wrote primarily that I use NO walking aids, & that statement STILL applies . . .

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 27/06/14 03:38:48]

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"So stop telling people.

Then that'd be a REAL let down if they discovered only upon meeting. I've tried it & have been disappointed . . .

The female I met had no idea (that I was disabled) because she 'pulled up' in her car, & I had only to open her car door & jump in.

Hope this satisfies your 'questioning'.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"So stop telling people.

I have to concentrate REALLY hard to ensure my visible body movements are how an unaffected body moves!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So stop telling people.

Then that'd be a REAL let down if they discovered only upon meeting. I've tried it & have been disappointed . . .

The OP didn't say he was on crutches, other people on the thread mentioned they were, perhaps you need to stop being a smart alec and read properly.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

OP I can understand your issue. Obviously there is no requirement to tell anyone anything about your health.

However, there may be signs that become apparent on meeting. As you've mentioned, you do need more concentration to move body parts, and if the other person had no knowledge, then she may find certain aspects of your behaviour unusual.

I don't know whether you have any lleft or right sided weakness, your speech affected, your emotions affected etc, but to ease any embarrassment you may feel, I would perhaps mention it further along in your messaging and getting to know someone if a meet looks likely.

If someone gets a good feeling about you, if you get along via the messaging stage, then I'm sure she won't be bothered.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Why would it be different if you did have a mental problem?

I think it will like most things come down to personal preferences.

Like those who only want BBC, redheads, skinny people, non smokers, shy types, noisy types, professionals, people with a specific disability, etc."

If I had a mental problem whereby I had a mental age of, say 12 years old. I don't know the legality of it, but it would seem wrong to me to 'do' a 12 year old. Of course, I cant speak for you . . .

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I had secured some photographs, so I felt I was creating a 'bond' between us, then I mentioned that I was disabled, & 'puff', that ensured I would recieve no further communication from them.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We wouldn't meet you because of your profile not because you've had a CVA. It's all about what you want and nothing about what you offer. I'm sure your great fun and a cool person but a man in a wig is your only public pic. It's also great to know what you want but no need to shout about it . I know you probably get enough meets but if people can't respect you for who you are it's their problem, don't make it yours - have fun x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"OP I can understand your issue. Obviously there is no requirement to tell anyone anything about your health.

If someone gets a good feeling about you, if you get along via the messaging stage, then I'm sure she won't be bothered.

I had secured some photographs, so I felt I was creating a 'bond' between us, then I mentioned that I was disabled, & 'puff', that ensured I would recieve no further communication from them. & I only tell them prior to meeting them so they're not shocked when we meet & justly 'pissed off' with me!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"We wouldn't meet you because of your profile not because you've had a CVA. It's all about what you want and nothing about what you offer. I'm sure your great fun and a cool person but a man in a wig is your only public pic. It's also great to know what you want but no need to shout about it . I know you probably get enough meets but if people can't respect you for who you are it's their problem, don't make it yours - have fun x"

There's photographs of me without the wig for people to view in my friends gallery - if they take the time befriending me!!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Would you rather people meet you even if they don't want to?"

If meeting a person in my predicament wasn't what they were seeking, then what's the point in meeting if I'm to crush any possibities of having some fun with them?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

hmmmmmm all kinds of emotions coursing through me at the moment - firstly your profile is all about you and i dont mean in a telling us about yourself - more me me me and as others have said that would put me off in the first place - the second is about disability - my job involves caring for people and i deal with joe public and their reactions to various looks/behaviour/problems associated with patients - and also the person (hate to use this word) afflicted and the way they cope (or not) with that and with themselves - i myself have suffered with epilepsy when i was younger and got bullied at school by some for it - as i got older i chose to tell people i was close to mainly for my sake - forewarned and all that if anything happened and i felt safer with them knowing (almost all had no problem with it at all) - my daughter has an illness that she chooses not to tell hardly anybody about and as a mum i wish she would in some cases as if she was taken ill suddenly id like to think the people she was with could inform the necessary medics/whoever what was wrong (offered her a medic alert piece of jewellery and refused but her choice and i stand by that) - personally if i had something wrong like the OP had and there was no way of telling or it didnt affect me then i wouldnt tell but if i had stuff about me that may make folk think differently then i think honesty up front would be best - if you said on profile ok ive had a stroke and sometimes i slur/stumble and appear off its because of that especially if i got tired or whatever - im thinking most people wouldnt give a jot but glad to know - seems though that its not a problem so as others have said - why say anything at all ?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

why do you feel you need to mention it?"

Erm, well, contrary to what others have written I've not had to use crutches - ever, but I get unduly tired after a very short while, & though it may sit well with you, I don't want to waste peoples time (as well as my own) by inviting them to meet somebody who I'm not, i.e. I'm disabled & I don't think anything will change that!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I only changed it because I wanted all to know a little of my situation right fromthe outset.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Im registered disabled as im epileptic but it hasnt stopped me getting meets. I only tell people if they ask"

That's all well & good, but I don't expect you to be under a seizure all the time like my body is in suffering from the stroke!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *uckandbunnyCouple over a year ago

In your bed

"Why would it be different if you did have a mental problem?

I think it will like most things come down to personal preferences.

Like those who only want BBC, redheads, skinny people, non smokers, shy types, noisy types, professionals, people with a specific disability, etc.

If I had a mental problem whereby I had a mental age of, say 12 years old. I don't know the legality of it, but it would seem wrong to me to 'do' a 12 year old. Of course, I cant speak for you . . ."

Classy.

Do you also test for other mental disabilities before a meeting? It maybe the excessive psychological testing that puts people off.

But I'm sure your very pleasant in person and don't often jump to extremes with everyone.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

I think maybe we are getting away from the question.

Why do people turn away when mentioning a disability?

I assume some hear disability and think of a very disabled person and have no idea how to deal with that. It's sad, perhaps they need to open theor minds to the fact that a person is a person, regardless of theor disability but this isn't a perfect world and there will always be those that are close minded.

Perhaps some are not interested in those who seem defined by their disability and talk about it all the time? Not saying you do op as I dint know how you come across on messages etc.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *imjohnCouple over a year ago

Clacton on sea, Essex

You answer you own question about being shallow with your words " do they think it's a 'mental instability "

Any disability whether physical or mental shouldn't make any person an outcast to society, John has bi-polar & temporal lope epilepsy.

Work collages & people we meet don't even realise it as he tries his best to keep it under control, people like Stephen Fry made it cool to admit to being bi-polar.

So whether wheelchair or bad OCD's it makes no difference to us & its people who categorise " I dont need a wheel chair or have a mental instability which infuriates us.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *imjohnCouple over a year ago

Clacton on sea, Essex

"Why would it be different if you did have a mental problem?

I think it will like most things come down to personal preferences.

Like those who only want BBC, redheads, skinny people, non smokers, shy types, noisy types, professionals, people with a specific disability, etc."

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *imjohnCouple over a year ago

Clacton on sea, Essex

"Im registered disabled as im epileptic but it hasnt stopped me getting meets. I only tell people if they ask"

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Some people are very attracted to disabled people,

i am attracted to people that have physical weakness because I enjoy being the one that's physical, you just need to find the one that is attracted to you including your disability

Attitudes of the swinging community might be shit but you can't make people think differently not many people have the ability to be attracted to disabled in a sexual way sorry but its true especially men as they normally have more of a physical role to play and sex meets are all about the physical stuff

I've met very disabled men, as bad as it gets and loved it, don't get angry just find someone that wants you

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *adybee77Woman over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

"Im registered disabled as im epileptic but it hasnt stopped me getting meets. I only tell people if they ask

That's all well & good, but I don't expect you to be under a seizure all the time like my body is in suffering from the stroke!"

Wow, didn't realise it was a competition to see who has the worst deal of the cards as it were.

Its not the disability, its the attitude thats offputting. I've met disabled people before, and its not a problem. You seem to be defining yourself by it, and making a huge issue of it, so whilst the disability isn't an issue, your attitude towards it is.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I actually think the attitude don't tell people or is it a competition very immature why should anyone feel they should hide a disability? plus that can make things very awkward for the person meeting them if they had no prior knowledge .

And liking this thread to a competition well thats almost like saying shut up I've heard enough !!

A high majority of people will become disabled and most people will have family members with a disability and it comes with difficulties

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *adybee77Woman over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

I've never said anyone should hide it, and have never said I've heard enough - had I heard enough I would simply not revisit the thread. I just find some of the comments about "i've got it worse than you" etc sound childish.

Having suffered from a health issue myself in the past, luckily one I could recover from, do understand the stigma around disability, and the difficulties they come with, both for visible and less noticeable disabilities, and in my work and volunteering I support a lot of people with disabilities to have better opportunities and do things that others can take for granted.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks for your views on the subject, but the only reason I posted the thread was because of the two (& only two females I admitted I'd had a stroke to) females who didn't want to talk anymore as soon as I mentioned I was disabled! Maybe I should write to my MP . . . . .

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Thanks for your views on the subject, but the only reason I posted the thread was because of the two (& only two females I admitted I'd had a stroke to) females who didn't want to talk anymore as soon as I mentioned I was disabled! Maybe I should write to my MP . . . . ."

but people will stop talking when you tell them your bi, a certain colour, a certain age, a certain size, why would a disability be any different?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

...pppssstttt !!! ... some people thrive on dramas !

I've noticed that.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have been Emailing Nigella Lawson every day for 3 Years now and not one reply simply because i mentioned that i cant cook, I tried explaining that that wouldnt be a hindrance to banging her senseless bent over the hotplate but what did i get? nothing but a restraining order and a psychiatric evaluation.

Bit harsh i reckon but lifes like that.

When im eventually released i shall move on and that would be my advice to you.

Napoleon Bonaparte II

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So stop telling people.

I agree

Meet them and then if you want to tell them

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

"Would you rather people meet you even if they don't want to?

If meeting a person in my predicament wasn't what they were seeking, then what's the point in meeting if I'm to crush any possibities of having some fun with them?"

I am a bit confused though as you have contradicted yourself by saying "no one noticed" that you had a disability on a meet and then you imply they would be disappointed if you didn't mention it so I am not sure whether your disability would infringe on your play.

For us, this is a fantasy, we don't want to know the in's and outs of a persons life when arranging any fun, that includes what illness they may have unless it is going to be a problem with them playing on a meet.....so if your illness doesn't stop you playing and you were just talking about your disability then maybe that's what put them off.

If you do have problems playing and told them that then that may have put them off too.

Which brings me full circle....the only other option is to play whether something puts you off or not, which isn't going to happen for a lot of people.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

If you do have problems playing and told them that then that may have put them off too.

Which brings me full circle....the only other option is to play whether something puts you off or not, which isn't going to happen for a lot of people.

I'm restricted in my performance because of muscle weakness & fatigue. It's only really noticeable after being used for longer periods, & it's not only the arm / leg that weaken, it's the brain as well . . .

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I went about it as you suggested before you suggested it anyway, & that's the cause of me posting the thread.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

"I don't know whether you have any lleft or right sided weakness, your speech affected, your emotions affected etc, but to ease any embarrassment you may feel

I went about it as you suggested before you suggested it anyway, & that's the cause of me posting the thread."

Then all you can do is accept that some people won't want to play once told about your illness. You can't really condemn people for having a choice.

Maybe just move on to the people who don't mind the restrictions you have.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Maybe just move on to the people who don't mind the restrictions you have.

I feel I won't have enough years left for waiting until I find a female who wants to get 'messy' with me though . . .

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

" Maybe just move on to the people who don't mind the restrictions you have.

I feel I won't have enough years left for waiting until I find a female who wants to get 'messy' with me though . . ."

You know there is a quote button so you don't have to copy and paste the bits you want to reply to?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

" Maybe just move on to the people who don't mind the restrictions you have.

I feel I won't have enough years left for waiting until I find a female who wants to get 'messy' with me though . . ."

your only 43

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Even disabled people are not entitled to a reply or meet on here. It's not like an interview where you get preferential treatment. Here you are judged on your own merits, and unfortunately people might not want to meet someone who admits he may flag after a while.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

" Maybe just move on to the people who don't mind the restrictions you have.

I feel I won't have enough years left for waiting until I find a female who wants to get 'messy' with me though . . .

your only 43

I was only emphasizing the amount of time I'll have to wait though!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *isandreTV/TS over a year ago

Durham

Most of the time I just want to meet someone who'll bum me senseless for hours.

If that's not you, regardless of whether it's because you're disabled, submissive or just plain lazy, I'll usually pass.

If that makes me a bad person, spank me lightly.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Tricky one this for me recently had meet set with a couple as they were close by they had to cancel due to the chap ferling unwell turned out he has history of strokes to be honest I would have like to have been told before meet was arranged in order to make an informed decision.

Would it have affected my decision i do not know its not a case the fact there is history of stroke but not being informed of it.

Would not have needed chapter and verse as for mentioning being registered disabled that intself would not put me off.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Why would it be different if you did have a mental problem?"

Right: When I tell them I'm disabled but use no walking aids, they jump to conclusions that I'm 'mentally retarded' - they must do because it's only than that I find they don't want to talk anymore . . .

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Tricky one this for me recently had meet set with a couple as they were close by they had to cancel due to the chap ferling unwell turned out he has history of strokes to be honest I would have like to have been told before meet was arranged in order to make an informed decision.

Would it have affected my decision i do not know its not a case the fact there is history of stroke but not being informed of it.

Would not have needed chapter and verse as for mentioning being registered disabled that intself would not put me off."

I don't assume it was a homosexual couple, so you were only interested in the female, & the guy held little interest for you . . .

As males usually play the more active part in fornication, perhaps she wanted to relive days gone by . . . ?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

HornycpleNW - you've been exposed to disability though so your opinion of disabled people will not be the same as those who have had limited time in their company!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why would it be different if you did have a mental problem?

Maybe it's the fact that you use words like 'retarded' that puts them off?

Lots of people blame what they can't change for their lack of success believing it is the only possible explanation. Hence the constant threads bemoaning women aren't interested in tall/short/old/young/white/black/asian/fat/skinyy etc etc threads.

Are you sure that your disability is the only thing that puts people off?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why would it be different if you did have a mental problem?

Total tosh and assumption based, you are basing everyone on your own thought process which in its self is quite derogatary and not a good look

Gimp

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *utzzCouple over a year ago

wrexham

"Why would it be different if you did have a mental problem?

Maybe it's the fact that you use words like 'retarded' that puts them off?

Are you sure that your disability is the only thing that puts people off?"
well said!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I've since amended my profile. It was 'long winded' only to express my minds unaffected (thought process).

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *llie RoseWoman over a year ago

By the seaside

OP can I be rather personal and ask how long ago you had you're stroke? If that is more than you want to share on an open forum then please just ignore my question.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Why would it be different if you did have a mental problem?

Maybe it's the fact that you use words like 'retarded' that puts them off?

Seeing as I don't class myself as retarded, why would I use that word when describing myself?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why would it be different if you did have a mental problem?

Maybe it's the fact that you use words like 'retarded' that puts them off?

Seeing as I don't class myself as retarded, why would I use that word when describing myself?"

I think you missed the point i was making

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"OP can I be rather personal and ask how long ago you had you're stroke? If that is more than you want to share on an open forum then please just ignore my question. "

When I was 24 years old (1995).

No two strokes are identical, & the recovery may be a few months, or you COULD remain affected for the rest of your life.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"So stop telling people.

I agree

Meet them and then if you want to tell them

Well then they'd only be too happy knowing they'd spent the time & money for a meet with someone who they didn't like wouldn't they?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Why would it be different if you did have a mental problem?

Total tosh and assumption based, you are basing everyone on your own thought process which in its self is quite derogatary and not a good look

Gimp

Hello 'Gimp'.

Then why do they fail to respond (or even block me) then?

I'll sign off as well - Jack!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We are deaf so disabled too and we get pathetic messages from fuckwits too but only a few. All i say is ignore hold ur head up and be proud of your self. Two fingers up at the narrowminded cunts as their loss at end of day as they the ones who wont get meets because not genuine and u never know karma may well bite them.on the arse one day!

Stay strong and be proud of yourself

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *llie RoseWoman over a year ago

By the seaside

I understand that. Just the impression I got from what you have written is one of anger. Did you have support/counselling after your stroke? When people's bodies 'let them down' and leaves them with life changing effects, anger is one of the first emotional responses. For some people that response can remain for many years and for a few something they can never move on from. As I don't know you from Adam I wouldn't presume that is how it is with you, just the impression I got. Please feel free to shoot me down in flames if that is not the case. If you view your condition negatively than those you interact with will respond to it in the same way. And you can tell me that is a load of hippy pyscho babble crap if you like.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"Why would it be different if you did have a mental problem?

Maybe it's the fact that you use words like 'retarded' that puts them off?

Are you sure that your disability is the only thing that puts people off?"

Can't think what else it could be as he comes across as such a likeable chap!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"We are deaf so disabled too and we get pathetic messages from fuckwits too but only a few. All i say is ignore hold ur head up and be proud of your self. Two fingers up at the narrowminded cunts as their loss at end of day as they the ones who wont get meets because not genuine and u never know karma may well bite them.on the arse one day!

Stay strong and be proud of yourself

Thank heavens for me getting some support from people like you!

I'm tempted to use descriptive words like you, but I know I'll only appear to be too aggressive!

You seem to have experienced it as well, the people who can't understand where I'm coming from hold no predetermined regard for 'us' as being disabled though, which is a good thing, it's only them narrow minded females that I said didn't want to contact me anymore once I'd told them of my situation.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Have faith that one day there will be a girl to meet and she will rock your world theres some nice people out there you just have to shift thru the nasty/timewasters to find her. Patience will be worth it. Good luck. Im c by the way a genuine girl

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I am deaf myself and yes sometimes I think people are put off by it. I have experienced this. So I try to be honest upfront about it. Not doing me any luck so far tho.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why would it be different if you did have a mental problem?

Total tosh and assumption based, you are basing everyone on your own thought process which in its self is quite derogatary and not a good look

Gimp

Hello 'Gimp'.

Then why do they fail to respond (or even block me) then?

I'll sign off as well - Jack!"

Ermm i may be retarded but your whole argument seems to be based on peoples response not failure to respond, Why they dont block you is their own choice so you will have to ask them that.

Signing off Gimp

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

What I find annoying about some of the comments on this thread and similar "woe, no one wants to meet me because I'm..." threads, is the assumption that the individual should have universal appeal and those not interested are "ist" of some kind, narrow minded or nasty.

I wouldn't meet a deaf person because if they're blindfolded they can't hear my instructions. A blind person wouldn't pale when my toy box is opened and they see what's in store for them. Someone with an upper limb weakness wouldn't be able to be hung from my hooks. Someone with mobility issues would struggle to get up to my playroom etc. I don't meet black, bi or married men as they also limit MY play: it has nothing to do with any "ism".

Some people get offended at "no thanks" messages so people block to avoid abuse.

It's easy and a cop out to blame ethnicity, age, gender, disability etc as it leaves the "accuser" blameless and able to throw around whatever "ist" they deem appropriate.

We're all here for our own hedonistic pleasure. I know I won't appeal to everyone, why do some appear to struggle with that?!!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What I find annoying about some of the comments on this thread and similar "woe, no one wants to meet me because I'm..." threads, is the assumption that the individual should have universal appeal and those not interested are "ist" of some kind, narrow minded or nasty.

Some people get offended at "no thanks" messages so people block to avoid abuse.

It's easy and a cop out to blame ethnicity, age, gender, disability etc as it leaves the "accuser" blameless and able to throw around whatever "ist" they deem appropriate.

We're all here for our own hedonistic pleasure. I know I won't appeal to everyone, why do some appear to struggle with that?!!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Or maybe you should ask the two people that stopped talking to you as to why they did that as no-one other then them can really answer your question.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *eryBigGirlWoman over a year ago

East Yorkshire

I think the main issue here is the OPS decision to define himself by his disability first.

I am registered disabled however rarely use the disabled word because I don't define myself by it. My outlook is I have mobility problems rather than I am disabled. Personally I think that the OP just needs to rethink his outlook and yes write a better profile!!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"HornycpleNW - you've been exposed to disability though so your opinion of disabled people will not be the same as those who have had limited time in their company!"

no but im not alone in this i know this from these forums- but i have to say ive not come across many that have made their disability such a burden to themselves as you seem to be making it -

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"HornycpleNW - you've been exposed to disability though so your opinion of disabled people will not be the same as those who have had limited time in their company!

no but im not alone in this i know this from these forums- but i have to say ive not come across many that have made their disability such a burden to themselves as you seem to be making it - "

It all comes dowm to what i said earlier. Blame the one thing you can't influence or alter for your lack of success and then it is everyone elses fault for having preferences that exclude you.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *adybee77Woman over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

Thank heavens for me getting some support from people like you!

I'm tempted to use descriptive words like you, but I know I'll only appear to be too aggressive!

Narrow minded... Whoa! So you don't like people judging you, but its ok for you to judge them/ Lets all step aside for the double standards coming through.

It is human nature to make choices, what we eat, what we wear, where we go. Who we fuck is just the same... For me, fab is a bit of fun, and should be viewed that way. I do meet a disabled friend quite frequently, and honestly, he is one of the best guys I've met on here, but he has never allowed himself to be defined by his wheelchair use. I find the woe is me approach more off putting than anything.

Can I just ask what is with "getting messy" I'm sorry but that just makes my skin crawl, and sounds like you are going to get into scat and other things...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

" It all comes dowm to what i said earlier. Blame the one thing you can't influence or alter for your lack of success and then it is everyone elses fault for having preferences that exclude you. "

No, it's not. I was in the process of making a rapport with them, then I mentioned that I don't work due to me being disabled THEN, when that'd been established, 'she' didn't want to know anymore. The other one didn't really bother me because I didn't 'fancy' her, but SHE didn't seem to want to know anymore!

I've met from using this before, & I know when I'm making progress with 'them'.

I didn't ask WHY I fail to meet females, I asked why they didn't want to meet me JUST because I'm disabled: it's prejudicial!

I realise I'll not meet everyone, but it was their own prejudice that lost any chance of a meet.

It's their loss ultimately. You've a poor impression of disabled people too - blaming (what you deem to be) my 'lack of success' on my attitude.

I only seem to be angry with them because of the 'hatred' & 'time wasters' they may see me as being.

I've no verifications because I think it's a personal choice that I don't want (or need them). If you feel it necessary to boost your ego by having them, that's fine with me, & but some people would prefer it with meets with a person with just a couple of than to their name.

Have you any more ridiculing remarks then?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/06/14 12:20:28]

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/06/14 12:26:43]

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

" It all comes dowm to what i said earlier. Blame the one thing you can't influence or alter for your lack of success and then it is everyone elses fault for having preferences that exclude you.

I've met from using this before, & I know when I'm making progress with 'them'.

I didn't ask WHY I fail to meet females, I asked why they didn't want to meet me JUST because I'm disabled: it's prejudicial!

I realise I'll not meet everyone, but it was their own prejudice that lost any chance of a meet.

It's their loss ultimately. You've a poor impression of disabled people too - blaming (what you deem to be) my 'lack of success' on my attitude.

I only seem to be angry with them because of the 'hatred' & 'time wasters' they may see me as being.

Have you any more ridiculing remarks then?"

Where have I ridiculed you? Or shown a lack of respect to your (or anyone elses) disability? If you've taken exception to being questioned on your own use of crass outdated terminology like 'retarded' or being challenged on your own disrespectful comments towards people with mental health issues then so be it. But please don't accuse me of ridiculing your disability because I haven't and wouldn't.

Preferences are not prejudice and the fact that you view it as such just screams entitlement. People can say no to you for any reason they like.

And why on earth be bothered that someone you din't 'fancy' stopped talking to you? What's the issue - you weren;t interested in them and she lost interest in you. Maybe, just maybe she picked up on that and decided to meet someone that did fancy her?

And I'm at a loss as to why you feel the need to bring our verifications in to this thread?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

It didn't really bother me because I didn't really fancy her, though peoples personality counts for a lot.

Why are people 'SO' prejudiced? I know it's down to personal choice, but I don't see myself as being disabled?

I wash I'd never posted the question now!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

" It all comes dowm to what i said earlier. Blame the one thing you can't influence or alter for your lack of success and then it is everyone elses fault for having preferences that exclude you.

I've met from using this before, & I know when I'm making progress with 'them'.

I didn't ask WHY I fail to meet females, I asked why they didn't want to meet me JUST because I'm disabled: it's prejudicial!

I realise I'll not meet everyone, but it was their own prejudice that lost any chance of a meet.

It's their loss ultimately. You've a poor impression of disabled people too - blaming (what you deem to be) my 'lack of success' on my attitude.

I only seem to be angry with them because of the 'hatred' & 'time wasters' they may see me as being.

Have you any more ridiculing remarks then?"

it may very well be, or it could be for a number of other reasons but, in the end, what are you going to do about it? There's no legislation that says we have to be equal opportunity shaggers...no law in the land can state who I can or cannot choose to spend my time with, let alobe share my genitals...no discrimination act can dictate who should or shouldn't make me moisten with anticipation of sharing a few flithy moments...

they may have been being massively unfair in choosing not to take thinfs any further with you, it may very well not be because of the physical manifestations of your disability but possibly the logistical or financial ones too...we'll never know and currently because they haven't spoken for themselves, it's all pure speculation.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *imiUKMan over a year ago

Hereford

I have a colostomy and nobody has ever given a shit (excuse the pun), to the point where I don't even bother mentioning it now.

So; maybe its not your disability that puts people off?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I realise I'll not meet everyone, but it was their own prejudice that lost any chance of a meet.

It's their loss ultimately. You've a poor impression of disabled people too -

Have you any more ridiculing remarks then?"

but not meeting someone that they ultimately decided they didn't want to meet isn't exactky their loss though is it?

and

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

But it's not prejudice. The vast majority of single men on here struggle to get any meets. Your disability almost certainly has nothing to do with your lack of success. I'll say it again, you are focussing on what you can't influence in order to avoid taking responsibility fo a lack of success?

Do you really believe your disability is the only reason? Have you done everything else possible to maximise your chances of success?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *imiUKMan over a year ago

Hereford

"But it's not prejudice. The vast majority of single men on here struggle to get any meets. Your disability almost certainly has nothing to do with your lack of success. "

Exactly -

I'm single, I have a minor disability....

I have been known to meet, on occasion.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I realise I'll not meet everyone, but it was their own prejudice that lost any chance of a meet.

It's their loss ultimately. You've a poor impression of disabled people too -

Have you any more ridiculing remarks then?

but not meeting someone that they ultimately decided they didn't want to meet isn't exactky their loss though is it?

and"

ooops posted too soon...the impression that is being given on here is not of disabled people in general. That's a partcularly unsubtle sweeping generalisation that insults not only the intelligence of those posting, but your own too. The impression we're all getting is just of you...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *eryBigGirlWoman over a year ago

East Yorkshire

"It didn't really bother me because I didn't really fancy her, though peoples personality counts for a lot.

Why are people 'SO' prejudiced? I know it's down to personal choice, but I don't see myself as being disabled?

I wash I'd never posted the question now!"

You clearly do see yourself as disabled and in fact going by your previous posts actually define yourself by it.

It's certainly not prejudice it's personal choice whether someone decides your not who they want to meet. I've had many swapped messages with guys with a view to meeting but then something's come up that makes me change my mind about them so it ends there. The only difference us I will tell them why and not just stop communication.

As others have offered advice which you seem to have declined to take but the biggest problem is your profile. It's badly written, badly spelt and lacks imagination. Just the bragging headline "just had ..." would put most people off before even getting to the main text!!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *eryBigGirlWoman over a year ago

East Yorkshire

"I have a colostomy and nobody has ever given a shit (excuse the pun), to the point where I don't even bother mentioning it now.

So; maybe its not your disability that puts people off?"

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"You clearly do see yourself as disabled and in fact going by your previous posts actually define yourself by it.

I've decided to be more open about my 'disability' to see if that changes anything.

I don't have a great amount of self esteem & the 'just had . . .' remark was to imply: 'I 'satisfied' one female, any other females want to give me a go as well?'

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *oughnut and radoxWoman over a year ago

Ashingdon

I'm deaf but can lip read well, that puts a lot of people off

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *abioMan over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

some people are very quick to lay the blame for their woes on the thing that they cant control and leaves them blameless.......

its the easy thing to point the finger at... but it is also kind of a kop out move.....

oh woe is me

there are certain things that you originally put on your profile that screamed "red flags" to me that had nothing to do with your condition..... there are often more than just one reason why people wont meet......

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

there are often more than just one reason why people wont meet...... "

This thread is going to be one of those reasons methinks...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

What's wrong with some of you? I DO meet females that are unaware of my 'condition' - no problem. But it's when I say 'Oh, it doesn't really matter, but I'm disabled', do they stop communicating?

Please read other peoples responses (or advice) first & DON'T get confused with MY question!

Love you all . . .

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Here 'Crystal wheels', I do have success thank you very much. I was ONLY asking why, when I admit I have some mobility problems, should it change peoples opinion of me?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

but not meeting someone that they ultimately decided they didn't want to meet isn't exactky their loss though is it?

It IS their loss because they won't see the good points I have!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *istress V in Yorks 2Woman over a year ago

Yorkshire

I have a disability too, I use crutches, BUT it does have its good points too, I can do some really interesting positions

I can't say I've eve not had a meet when I've told someone. But I might have, no idea and I won't let it concern me in the least. I'm sure I've not got meets for other reasons...not fussed there either. If our profile is boring and shouty and you write negative forum posts it's going to put people off. There isn't a rule on here that you have to find everyone sexually attractive, not every woman will fancy you, it may be hat rather than you being disabled A positive outlook on life is important...even when it all feels S***

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

but not meeting someone that they ultimately decided they didn't want to meet isn't exactky their loss though is it?

It IS their loss because they won't see the good points I have!"

Do you not see how arrogant that sounds? I get lots of "your loss" messages when i've turned someone down and IT IS NEVER MY LOSS. With that attitude it just confirms that the person is not a nice one. You seem very cambative and very entitled. The reason people don't want to meet you is because they don't have to. Simple.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

but not meeting someone that they ultimately decided they didn't want to meet isn't exactky their loss though is it?

It IS their loss because they won't see the good points I have!"

But if they're not interested, what are they losing? Not having sex with someone they don't want to fuck? I'm sure they'd rather see the good points of someone they do want to...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

but not meeting someone that they ultimately decided they didn't want to meet isn't exactky their loss though is it?

It IS their loss because they won't see the good points I have!

But if they're not interested, what are they losing? Not having sex with someone they don't want to fuck? I'm sure they'd rather see the good points of someone they do want to..."

The way I see it too.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *istress V in Yorks 2Woman over a year ago

Yorkshire

I won't post the reply I just got from the OP as I know it's against rules, but he suggested it's easy for ladies because they're happy to play a sub role! errrr not ME! x and I seriously doubt same with most ladies. Sub ladies STILL have a choice who they meet.The longer this thread is the deeper the hole he's digging!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I won't post the reply I just got from the OP as I know it's against rules, but he suggested it's easy for ladies because they're happy to play a sub role! errrr not ME! x and I seriously doubt same with most ladies. Sub ladies STILL have a choice who they meet.The longer this thread is the deeper the hole he's digging! "

Absolutely! I think this thread is going to be a major turn off for anyone wanting to meet him. Here's hoping they use the green arrow before they message!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

At least ur getting meets lol ! .

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

but not meeting someone that they ultimately decided they didn't want to meet isn't exactky their loss though is it?

It IS their loss because they won't see the good points I have!

It remains their loss because they're blinded by the 'disability' statement, & as a result discontinue all communication . . .

I'm getting sick of all this. When & if you ever have a stroke (or perhaps lose a limb etc.) reply then! I'll take your responses with validity if you do . . .

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

but not meeting someone that they ultimately decided they didn't want to meet isn't exactky their loss though is it?

It IS their loss because they won't see the good points I have!

It remains their loss because they're blinded by the 'disability' statement, & as a result discontinue all communication . . .

I'm getting sick of all this. When & if you ever have a stroke (or perhaps lose a limb etc.) reply then! I'll take your responses with validity if you do . . ."

You asked the question in a public forum and have recieved answers. If you wanted only disabled people to respond you should have said. You've been given advice and all you've done is be dismissive of it. Nothing is your fault, it's all our fault. Well done.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *istress V in Yorks 2Woman over a year ago

Yorkshire

If I go to Tesco and as I'm walking past the pet food aisle the dog food shouts 'pick me' I don't and it screams....'It's your loss'

Why is it MY LOSS whe I didn't want it in the first place and I don't have a pet? It's only a loss if you wanted something first x Accept not everyone on here will find you sexually attractive. when you do, move on, don't let it bother you!

but not meeting someone that they ultimately decided they didn't want to meet isn't exactky their loss though is it?

It IS their loss because they won't see the good points I have!

It remains their loss because they're blinded by the 'disability' statement, & as a result discontinue all communication . . .

I'm getting sick of all this. When & if you ever have a stroke (or perhaps lose a limb etc.) reply then! I'll take your responses with validity if you do . . ."

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

What I was really trying to emphasize was that males often take the 'lead' in bed (or they have where I'm involved anyway because I'm the male). So you only have to succumb to their wishes etc.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What I was really trying to emphasize was that males often take the 'lead' in bed (or they have where I'm involved anyway because I'm the male). So you only have to succumb to their wishes etc."

Wow! I'm totally done here. Best of luck mate.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

And dog food never crosses your mind again, ever. Nor do you get home and think...do you know what, could that dog food have added sonething to my life, what if I've missed out by not having any...oh my god, I'm never going to experience dog food ever! Nice analogy...

"If I go to Tesco and as I'm walking past the pet food aisle the dog food shouts 'pick me' I don't and it screams....'It's your loss'

but not meeting someone that they ultimately decided they didn't want to meet isn't exactky their loss though is it?

It IS their loss because they won't see the good points I have!

It remains their loss because they're blinded by the 'disability' statement, & as a result discontinue all communication . . .

I'm getting sick of all this. When & if you ever have a stroke (or perhaps lose a limb etc.) reply then! I'll take your responses with validity if you do . . ."

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Here 'Crystal wheels', I do have success thank you very much. I was ONLY asking why, when I admit I have some mobility problems, should it change peoples opinion of me?"

Ok so now I'm confused. You've acknowledged elsewhere on thr thread that you don't expect to meet everyone. You claim to be 'successful', so why the angst because 2 people, 1 of whom you admit you never even fancied, chose not to meet you?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *abioMan over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

What I was really trying to emphasize was that males often take the 'lead' in bed (or they have where I'm involved anyway because I'm the male). So you only have to succumb to their wishes etc.

Wow! I'm totally done here. Best of luck mate."

i think i'm with ya...

I know I say to people you have to be able to help yourself "help yourself"..... no amount of people are going to help if the OP has attitudes as above....

I'm outie......

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What exactly are you driving at OP ?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Here 'Crystal wheels', I do have success thank you very much. I was ONLY asking why, when I admit I have some mobility problems, should it change peoples opinion of me?

I was in a moment that I was at a loss to with some spare time that I decided to publish a 'problem' with the two I admitted my disability to.

I chose to write about them both because I didn't want to get responses asking me to be patient & just wait until other opportunities present themselves.

If I'd have included everything that concerns my situation I would have given you the opportunity to accuse me of being pedantic no doubt . . .

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

And what will the two u mentioned feel if they read this ?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And what will the two u mentioned feel if they read this ? "

Relief

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

but not meeting someone that they ultimately decided they didn't want to meet isn't exactky their loss though is it?

It IS their loss because they won't see the good points I have!

It remains their loss because they're blinded by the 'disability' statement, & as a result discontinue all communication . . .

I'm getting sick of all this. When & if you ever have a stroke (or perhaps lose a limb etc.) reply then! I'll take your responses with validity if you do . . ."

ah...only the view from the ditch is allowed...gotcha....

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I realise I'll not meet everyone, but it was their own prejudice that lost any chance of a meet.

It's their loss ultimately. You've a poor impression of disabled people too -

Have you any more ridiculing remarks then?

but not meeting someone that they ultimately decided they didn't want to meet isn't exactky their loss though is it?

and"

I do see it at their loss because they won't give me a chance to prove myself my dear boy . . .

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"And what will the two u mentioned feel if they read this ?

Relief

Belittlement hopefully! I didn't disclose their profile names did I?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *radleyandRavenCouple over a year ago

Herts

"And what will the two u mentioned feel if they read this ?

Relief

Belittlement hopefully! I didn't disclose their profile names did I?"

Unless they were nasty to you, is that really neccessary? x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I realise I'll not meet everyone, but it was their own prejudice that lost any chance of a meet.

It's their loss ultimately. You've a poor impression of disabled people too -

Have you any more ridiculing remarks then?

but not meeting someone that they ultimately decided they didn't want to meet isn't exactky their loss though is it?

and

I do see it at their loss because they won't give me a chance to prove myself my dear boy . . ."

the "dear boy" is in holland inhaling motorbike fumes...but feel free to patronise me...jane...

let me put it more clearly, if I haven't got something I have decided I don't want, I haven't lost anything...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I realise I'll not meet everyone, but it was their own prejudice that lost any chance of a meet.

It's their loss ultimately. You've a poor impression of disabled people too -

Have you any more ridiculing remarks then?

but not meeting someone that they ultimately decided they didn't want to meet isn't exactky their loss though is it?

and

I do see it at their loss because they won't give me a chance to prove myself my dear boy . . ."

It would appear that nobody holds you in a higher regard than you do yourself. It would also appear you are using your disability as a vehicle/reason to attack peoples preference of meet critera. In my humble opinion, try being nice

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And what will the two u mentioned feel if they read this ?

Relief

Belittlement hopefully! I didn't disclose their profile names did I?

Unless they were nasty to you, is that really neccessary? x"

They weren't nasty they just refused to meet him and now he wants to belittle them. Welcome to the world of bitter men folks!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *itten-xxxWoman over a year ago

North West

"And what will the two u mentioned feel if they read this ?

Relief

Belittlement hopefully! I didn't disclose their profile names did I?

Unless they were nasty to you, is that really neccessary? x

They weren't nasty they just refused to meet him and now he wants to belittle them. Welcome to the world of bitter men folks!"

God is this thread still going on zzzz. Agreed very bitter

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"And what will the two u mentioned feel if they read this ?

Relief

Belittlement hopefully! I didn't disclose their profile names did I?

Unless they were nasty to you, is that really neccessary? x

They weren't nasty they just refused to meet him and now he wants to belittle them. Welcome to the world of bitter men folks!"

I didn't intend to belittle anyone by asking my primary question!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And what will the two u mentioned feel if they read this ?

Relief

Belittlement hopefully! I didn't disclose their profile names did I?

Unless they were nasty to you, is that really neccessary? x

They weren't nasty they just refused to meet him and now he wants to belittle them. Welcome to the world of bitter men folks!

God is this thread still going on zzzz. Agreed very bitter "

I was going to duck out but the more he posts, the more women have the chance to see who he is and that seems like a good thing.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And what will the two u mentioned feel if they read this ?

Relief

Belittlement hopefully! I didn't disclose their profile names did I?"

Nice, but it didn't quite work out that way now did it...you stay classy...ta ta old fruit...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *abioMan over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

I do see it at their loss because they won't give me a chance to prove myself my dear boy . . ."

but they can't miss what they never had....

you are the one who wanted to meet... they decided not to.... you are the one complaining, they aren't!

again tell me who is missing out?

I may lay a guess, it may not be your disablity that is now putting people off.... but your various postings and attitudes in them, as well as the way you reply to them.......

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Mind you, I've got some great new friends out of posting on here so it hasn't all been bad! :D

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ustcutieWoman over a year ago

edinburgh

Seriously your sense of entitlement is astonishing , you seem to think that because people choose not to meet you that it's ok to try and " belittle" them.

I'd suggest that there's every chance it was your attitude rather than your disability that made them rethink

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Did they actually say it was ur dissabilaty or you just thinking that was reason ?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *imiUKMan over a year ago

Hereford

Well, I feel that went particularly well, OP.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Well, I feel that went particularly well, OP.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Did they actually say it was ur dissabilaty or you just thinking that was reason ? "

They were chatting to me & all was going well, so well in fact I told them about my disability and amazingly enough - they failed to reply ! ! !

Now I'm only surmising my last message to them including me mentioning my disability, but I think this was the reason.

Now I'll wait for someone to say: 'But you didn't know why they didn't respond for sure!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Did they actually say it was ur dissabilaty or you just thinking that was reason ?

They were chatting to me & all was going well, so well in fact I told them about my disability and amazingly enough - they failed to reply ! ! !

Now I'm only surmising my last message to them including me mentioning my disability, but I think this was the reason.

Now I'll wait for someone to say: 'But you didn't know why they didn't respond for sure!"
so u can't 100% say it was that .

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Did they actually say it was ur dissabilaty or you just thinking that was reason ?

They were chatting to me & all was going well, so well in fact I told them about my disability and amazingly enough - they failed to reply ! ! !

Now I'm only surmising my last message to them including me mentioning my disability, but I think this was the reason.

Now I'll wait for someone to say: 'But you didn't know why they didn't respond for sure!so u can't 100% say it was that . "

But yes he can! Because it's all their fault for not wanting him. I mean who WOULDN'T want to meet him? It has nothing to do with his personality at all. He's a wonderful person and everyone should be grateful he's here. I know i am! But for very different reasons...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You don't need to tell them lol.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

And this thread will close in...3

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Two......

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And this thread will close in...3"

I was just thinking that

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

2...should we let the OP have the last word?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)