FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Is it ok to club just to meet people?
Is it ok to club just to meet people?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ok so the stalkers at clubs thread has got us a bit nervous. We we're quite happily planning to start our swinging adventures by going to a club and kicking off in style. Agreeably we'd probably pick a couples only night to start with... but the tales of gangs of balding beer bellied guys standing around like zombies trying to wank over us just sounds revolting...and someone even relayed that at a couples only night the guys left their wives to do pretty much the same thing urgghhh  
So the question here is...how would you guys feel if we went clubbing with a view to only socialising and seeing if we can find people to hook up with at another date? The idea is we'd dress nicely but not provocatively. We'd never shed a layer and remain nice looking but not sexual. That way no crowds of desperate sad blokes would surround us and we'd get a chance to chat to other couples...exchange phone numbers...etc.
I'm not saying this is what we're gonna do...I just wanted to test the waters to see what people would feel about couples turning up to clubs in this way. Would it be frowned upon? Or do some of you lot treat clubs in this way and find it works?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've seen people socialise in clubs a lot. Some go with no intention to play and that's up to them. The more people there are, the better the atmosphere can be, so don't feel you ever have to be obliged to play. It really doesn't work like that.
I'm sure all clubs would make you welcome. |
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Once you've started chatting with someone you would like to meet at a later date then it's probably best to tell him/her/them that you're only intending socialising that night but wouldn't mind hooking up at some point in the future.
That way you can exchange numbers and they can go off and play   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Treating it as a social evening is completely fine. Not everyone plays. It's always a good idea to have no expectations when going anywhere for the first time. As I'm sure many will say, you don't have to do anything you don't want to and if someone is bothering you to the extent they're making you feel uncomfortable, then tell them, or tell a member of staff.
I think most clubs have rooms with locks, so if you don't want to play with an audience, the choice is yours.
Always best to go and discover things for yourself as we all see things in different ways.
Good luck and have fun. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I haven't read the thread you refer to but threads like that always have a car crash element to them with people sharing their worst experiences so don't let it put you off.
And decent clubs tend to tackle that behaviour.
Yo answer your question attending just to socialise is fine |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks so much for these replies So I guess a good way to approach it is to go with the intention of not playing...and then...if the mood takes us...and we're not getting followed by the zombie wanker brigade lol...then start stripping off the layers.
Oh and  yep I find it hard to keep my posts short lol...I think my keyboard's got verbal diarrhoea...it's either that or my brain...so for now I'm sticking to the story that it's my keyboard |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Clubs honestly aren't as horrendous as sometimes they sound on here. They can be great fun. If you tell the club staff you're new, they will do a nice tour and tell you the rules. You have each other as 'back up'. (Not as scary as going alone.)
It's no-one else's business if you go with the intention of not playing. Everyone was new once.
Take it at your own pace. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ive visited and reviewed loads of clubs and really don't find the zombies are always a problem all the time at all clubs. Now and again but less often than you would think x |
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We've been to La Chambre a few times and we've been fully clothed, even walking around upstairs looking and watching in the different playrooms. Some people were the same, some were half undressed, some fully.
It's your choice, like it's your choice whether you play or not. We just socialised the first time and then went upstairs and watched and then played with each other when we felt comfortable.
I would go on a couples night first so you don't feel like you will be hassled (but we've never seen or experienced any hassle at all).
It's just like a night club with benefits  |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
I've been to a few clubs and there are a lot of people socialising between playing, some socialising all night and some who spend all night playing. The varieties in clubs is amazing. Most guys are respectful and any who isn't doesn't stay there long.
I treat it as a night out with friends with the possibility of a bit of action |
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"I haven't read the thread you refer to but threads like that always have a car crash element to them with people sharing their worst experiences so don't let it put you off.
And decent clubs tend to tackle that behaviour.
Yo answer your question attending just to socialise is fine "
100% agreement with this!
"Car crashes" are not the norm; we have been to clubs and have just been social, then later played by ourselves.
Not a problem.
Good luck and don't worry, you will always be welcome.
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"Ok so the stalkers at clubs thread has got us a bit nervous. We we're quite happily planning to start our swinging adventures by going to a club and kicking off in style. Agreeably we'd probably pick a couples only night to start with... but the tales of gangs of balding beer bellied guys standing around like zombies trying to wank over us just sounds revolting...and someone even relayed that at a couples only night the guys left their wives to do pretty much the same thing urgghhh
So the question here is...how would you guys feel if we went clubbing with a view to only socialising and seeing if we can find people to hook up with at another date? The idea is we'd dress nicely but not provocatively. We'd never shed a layer and remain nice looking but not sexual. That way no crowds of desperate sad blokes would surround us and we'd get a chance to chat to other couples...exchange phone numbers...etc.
I'm not saying this is what we're gonna do...I just wanted to test the waters to see what people would feel about couples turning up to clubs in this way. Would it be frowned upon? Or do some of you lot treat clubs in this way and find it works? "
Hey as the original op I would like to comment on this thread too.
We have been to abfabs in the evening and must say itvis amazing.
We have never been followed everyone was respectful and we have an amazing time there.
We haven't swung before but find the whole place erotic, with some beautiful people there in a very relaxed atmosphere, we play with each other when we are comfortable in our surroundings, the same with xtasia again we both love it.
We have never felt pressured, but probably at the end of the night you will see some headless chickens going round trying to find the action.
At kestrals it wasn't an incident it was more of an experience.
at kestrals we thought it would be a place to relax, with it being naturist etc,
We are also not vocal, that's why we questioned the conscience of it.
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We know people that never play at clubs, they just enjoy socialising with like minded adults in a non judgemental atmosphere...
Clubs are pretty much what ever you want them to be...
Have we had problems at clubs? Yes, only a few minor ones though... They pale into insignificance to the number of times we have been and had a really great night out....
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've not visited a club yet but I'd be much more comfortable just chatting the first time and really sussing out the way things happen with diving right in so to speak! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's a great shame that the thread you mention has put seeds of doubt in your mind (I know the thread you refer to)
I can only echo the advice given above...
I would say, based on your post, you should definitely go on a couples only night. I would further say that you should pick one of the popular clubs too....We have been to a couple of clubs that were completely dead and this was on a couples only Saturday night.
I'm not sure what's in Dorset though.....
The two clubs we have settled on are Chams and Xtasia.....however, you would have to leave the tranquility of Dorset and travel to the midlands to visit those (make sure you have your passport up to date for the border crossing)
Chams is always busy and is one of the most popular in the country....it is however, a spa club...so only towels/shorts etc are worn (perhaps not your thing). Xtasia is a nightclub/disco with benefits and the last time we went we got jiggy together in a couple of rooms then spent the night dancing...great fun.
As for Zombies, we have experienced this too on a night when singles are allowed in.....we only visit clubs on couples nights now for that very reason and are much happier.
Do some research and start on a high...
Good luck |
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Posted on the last thread so will even it up. Been to a club maybe 10 times out of that we had one experience of the pied piper brigade. No one was rude or inappropriate. It was just too many for us to keep getting horny.
If it was a busier night with more cpls or single fems the crowd would not have been as big.
I'd always go with some rules on your first night. Just so you both stay in the same page and don't feel unDer pressure to perform for each other. The places we've been to you could walk in bare breasted. It does not mean you will be approached never mind accosted.
On the whole much nicer and friendlier places than a night club or pub. And that's before any sex. |
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