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stalkers at clubs
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Went to a club today, just for a little relaxation.
Seems to us there are some guys with no conscience whatsoever.
If we went yo the sauna they'd follow, went swimming, follow,hot tub follow.
Would have liked to say something but couldn't think of anything nicer than fuck off.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think all couples should have a personal chaperone/minder to do the
'OI fuck off' bit so they can have peace, of course I am free to offer this service , |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The best you can do is ask them not to follow you as you're no interested. It might be creepy to be followed around but there's nothing against rules to stop guys wandering round in the hope of getting a glimpse. |
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By *exxxesCouple
over a year ago
Newbury / London |
It's an absolute pain, had a few similar experiences in the past, and sure we will again.
As mentioned, clubs are a free to roam arrangement usually, we've also noticed this can happen when it's couples only so not exclusive to men actually.
Part of the experience and joys of playing at clubs, doesn't stop us going hehe.
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"Just ignore them. If they try to touch, let the staff know. "
I would agree, but to be honest sometimes the wall of desperation gets dam right oppressive, even when they don't break the rules.
There are times I would like to carry a cattle prod! 
Its why so many go to couples only nights.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just ignore them. If they try to touch, let the staff know.
I would agree, but to be honest sometimes the wall of desperation gets dam right oppressive, even when they don't break the rules.
There are times I would like to carry a cattle prod!
Its why so many go to couples only nights.
"
I think it depends on the guys. One club we went to, the body language of the guys was almost sinister. They followed everyone around and didn't touch but were very leery. Didn't like that at all.
Another club we went to had many more guys but they were very cheerful and friendly. They were still wandering around but we didn't feel like we were being followed, we were just headed in the same direction.. that was a good night.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just ignore them. If they try to touch, let the staff know.
I would agree, but to be honest sometimes the wall of desperation gets dam right oppressive, even when they don't break the rules.
There are times I would like to carry a cattle prod!
Its why so many go to couples only nights.
"
Out of interest, why don't you go to couples only night then? |
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By *heWolfMan
over a year ago
warwickshire |
Is that special as in..."special"?
You're not one of those men who does a dramatic double-take when he looks into a room and - surprise surprise - there's some people in there having fun, and all he intended to do was sit and watch the porn, honest, but seeing as there's people in there playing... well, might as well try and join in then, right? How fortuitous and totally unexpected!
There are some terrible actors out there, and they all think they are Tom fucking Cruise! Some of them are hilarious to watch, even more than the knuckle-draggers who get "pussy blindness" (that's where they can only see a vague woman shape, pussy in full focus, and absolutely everything else around them ceases to be visible. They then follow it like the Bisto kids...) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes it can be a bit of a pain , but to be honest , we would be more concerned if they didn't follow us !
We only go to clubs to play , and whilst it's also nice to chill and relax , like the guys , we like to take the opportunity to have some fun too .
Just a slightly different slant on the op ....
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes it can be a bit of a pain , but to be honest , we would be more concerned if they didn't follow us !
We only go to clubs to play , and whilst it's also nice to chill and relax , like the guys , we like to take the opportunity to have some fun too .
Just a slightly different slant on the op ....
"
"We went to a club for some fun but all the single guys just sat at the bar and didn't dare speak to anyone."   |
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There's one in Chams that people call The Meerkat. Don't mind people watching but looking up when we're having fun to see this guy wanking frantically is rather off-putting. That's why we prefer the couples room! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you go on a mixed day/night it's to be expected I'm afraid, if there is a couples only area at the club you can always go in there. If you find it that off putting maybe you should go on a couples only night it might suit you better |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This thread is a fascinating insight to the world of swingers clubs.
it sounds a bit like a Friday night cattle market disco where all the men stand round the dance floor ogling the women. but without clothes! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This thread is a fascinating insight to the world of swingers clubs.
it sounds a bit like a Friday night cattle market disco where all the men stand round the dance floor ogling the women. but without clothes! "
That's nothing like our experience of clubs, you do get the odd awkward experience but in general we have a fantastic time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Went to a club today, just for a little relaxation.
Seems to us there are some guys with no conscience whatsoever.
If we went yo the sauna they'd follow, went swimming, follow,hot tub follow.
Would have liked to say something but couldn't think of anything nicer than fuck off.
"
Did they say anything to you or indicate anything? |
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"Went to a club today, just for a little relaxation.
Seems to us there are some guys with no conscience whatsoever.
If we went yo the sauna they'd follow, went swimming, follow,hot tub follow.
Would have liked to say something but couldn't think of anything nicer than fuck off.
Did they say anything to you or indicate anything? "
apart from getting in the hot tub us leaving, then following us straight yo the sauna and us leaving and then following us again,to the pool.
Sauna back again |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Went to a club today, just for a little relaxation.
Seems to us there are some guys with no conscience whatsoever.
If we went yo the sauna they'd follow, went swimming, follow,hot tub follow.
Would have liked to say something but couldn't think of anything nicer than fuck off.
Did they say anything to you or indicate anything? apart from getting in the hot tub us leaving, then following us straight yo the sauna and us leaving and then following us again,to the pool.
Sauna back again "
Did you ask them not to? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Would you of said anything if it was a woman???
Went Chams last year with a friend and we had unwanted company, she just told him your not my type, he said fine and left us alone, I'm sure most guys would do the same |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Went to a club today, just for a little relaxation.
Seems to us there are some guys with no conscience whatsoever.
If we went yo the sauna they'd follow, went swimming, follow,hot tub follow.
Would have liked to say something but couldn't think of anything nicer than fuck off.
"
It says just as much about you as it does the guy following you. If you can't think of a nice way of talking to someone how do you expect them to know that you aren't happy with their behaviour? |
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"Went to a club today, just for a little relaxation.
Seems to us there are some guys with no conscience whatsoever.
If we went yo the sauna they'd follow, went swimming, follow,hot tub follow.
Would have liked to say something but couldn't think of anything nicer than fuck off.
"
Couldn't agree more. Have had that experience in the club in Leeds EVERY time we visited except when we locked ourselves in the BDSM room!
And as you say later.'the wall of desperation' is oppressive.
We just totally avoid our nearest club because of this repeat behaviour!! |
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"Went to a club today, just for a little relaxation.
Seems to us there are some guys with no conscience whatsoever.
If we went yo the sauna they'd follow, went swimming, follow,hot tub follow.
Would have liked to say something but couldn't think of anything nicer than fuck off.
It says just as much about you as it does the guy following you. If you can't think of a nice way of talking to someone how do you expect them to know that you aren't happy with their behaviour?"
Love that last comment as it totally blames the harrassed and not the harrasser! That's like blaming a rape victim for being raped. |
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By *jandjbCouple
over a year ago
Nr Manchester |
We don't always just go on couples nights and recently found a single guy quite handy!! He wasn't a lurker though. He sat politely on a couch and we approached him.
It seems to me though that part of the problem is club economics. Our favourite club only has one couples night and that's on a Wednesday (yay it's tomorrow!). They make good money out of single men. I am reasonably OK about that as long as they control the balance. One club (not our favourite club) advertises that they "only" let a maximum of 30 single men in. On a big night OK but on some quieter nights? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a single guy, I'm very interested in the dynamic of this thread. I've not been to a club yet but thinking about it seriously. My main concern is about how welcome I would be.
I find the thought of a "light hearted" voyeristic wander through seeing couples and groups have fun a big turn on and on its own an attraction. The hoped for invitation to participate rather than spectate would be a huge bonus. But I'd genuinely hate to think I was not welcome or that my presence was preventing the very thing that we were all there for. Fun sex!
I can appreciate couples and women who may prefer not to be ogled by single guys and understand there's a line not to be crossed even here. But it's also like taking a car to a car show and being upset when it gets admired.
I don't mean to objectify women but if getting watched is a turn on then enjoy being watched. If it's not then appreciate it is for some folk as watching is for others.
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Every time we've been to Kestrels (which is, admittedly, only ever on a Sunday) we've found it to be something out of a Benny Hill scene. Walk towards the stable block and a whole raft of guys will follow in a single file there and back. It's quite funny to watch. All that's missing is the little old bald guy to pat on the head  |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
i think we are talking about 2 different things here....
I think people who do the "pied piper" thing is actually very funny watching others doing because there isn't anything subtle to it...... I am very much an advocate of if it is happening, tell members or staff or politely ask people not to... if that doesn't get the message across... tell em to stop it in a louder voice that others can "overhear"
then there are the people who "patrol" the play area's basically wearing a groove in the carpets and not saying boo to a goose...... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As a single guy, I'm very interested in the dynamic of this thread. I've not been to a club yet but thinking about it seriously. My main concern is about how welcome I would be.
I find the thought of a "light hearted" voyeristic wander through seeing couples and groups have fun a big turn on and on its own an attraction. The hoped for invitation to participate rather than spectate would be a huge bonus. But I'd genuinely hate to think I was not welcome or that my presence was preventing the very thing that we were all there for. Fun sex!
I can appreciate couples and women who may prefer not to be ogled by single guys and understand there's a line not to be crossed even here. But it's also like taking a car to a car show and being upset when it gets admired.
I don't mean to objectify women but if getting watched is a turn on then enjoy being watched. If it's not then appreciate it is for some folk as watching is for others.
"
I could be mistaken, but I think it's the guys next move, ie the pounce that is the concern. And also being followed is not sexy. Voyerism to me is not either of the above. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We had this once, a guy followed us around all night. Sent one of the staff to try and "match make" and even after I sent back a message of 'sorry, not interested' he continued to follow us around. Reggie asked him to stop but didn't do much good. Made me feel really uncomfortable and we left really early! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Every time we've been to Kestrels (which is, admittedly, only ever on a Sunday) we've found it to be something out of a Benny Hill scene. Walk towards the stable block and a whole raft of guys will follow in a single file there and back. It's quite funny to watch. All that's missing is the little old bald guy to pat on the head "
he is there on wednesdays |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Am I wrong in assuming clubs that are open during the day are naturist clubs? I would expect to be seen but not followed around
That's exactly it, we just wanted to relax and chill"
If someone is bothering you politely tell them most don't realise its a problem and if you say they usually go red and vanish. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would you of said anything if it was a woman???
Went Chams last year with a friend and we had unwanted company, she just told him your not my type, he said fine and left us alone, I'm sure most guys would do the same "
Treat people how you want to be treated. If someone said "fuck off" to me, my reaction would be very different than if they were friendly...! |
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"Every time we've been to Kestrels (which is, admittedly, only ever on a Sunday) we've found it to be something out of a Benny Hill scene. Walk towards the stable block and a whole raft of guys will follow in a single file there and back. It's quite funny to watch. All that's missing is the little old bald guy to pat on the head
he is there on wednesdays "
Damn you beat me to it.
The long walk between pool and stables is the funniest part. If they get too silly half way down the walkway we "suddenly" remember something we left in the changing rooms and head back the other way. Its like a human train crash, very funny. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Went to a club today, just for a little relaxation.
Seems to us there are some guys with no conscience whatsoever.
If we went yo the sauna they'd follow, went swimming, follow,hot tub follow.
Would have liked to say something but couldn't think of anything nicer than fuck off.
It says just as much about you as it does the guy following you. If you can't think of a nice way of talking to someone how do you expect them to know that you aren't happy with their behaviour?
Love that last comment as it totally blames the harrassed and not the harrasser! That's like blaming a rape victim for being raped. "
I'm not blaming anyone and certainly not condoning the behaviour of the guys....but comparing it to rape? Seriously?....I'm just wondering why they would be unable to communicate with someone politely rather than jump in aggressively which us what the op was suggesting would be their preferred response. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Am I wrong in assuming clubs that are open during the day are naturist clubs? I would expect to be seen but not followed around "
Depends on the club.
At Kestrels the playrooms around the hot tub, in the garden area & the stables are open so it's more than just naturist
You might not like men following you around but others might get off on it, they're not mind readers so a polite ~ 'guys can we have a bit of private time' may do the trick.
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"Went to a club today, just for a little relaxation.
Seems to us there are some guys with no conscience whatsoever.
If we went yo the sauna they'd follow, went swimming, follow,hot tub follow.
Would have liked to say something but couldn't think of anything nicer than fuck off.
It says just as much about you as it does the guy following you. If you can't think of a nice way of talking to someone how do you expect them to know that you aren't happy with their behaviour?
Love that last comment as it totally blames the harrassed and not the harrasser! That's like blaming a rape victim for being raped.
I'm not blaming anyone and certainly not condoning the behaviour of the guys....but comparing it to rape? Seriously?....I'm just wondering why they would be unable to communicate with someone politely rather than jump in aggressively which us what the op was suggesting would be their preferred response."
Simple thing about respect. You wouldn't mindlessly follow a girl around a night club, or a park, or a supermarket, within a couple of yards or so that she had to push past you all the time, so what makes guys, think that such behaviour is acceptable at a swing club?
I agree there may be some flotsam and jetsam that might get off on that, but generally it's quite offensive and annoying. By the time you open your mouth the dim wits have already invariably ruined your night.
And yes, liken to rape. It's the same point. You blame the woman or couple when actually it is the sad men that are responsible for their own behaviour. Or is it the woman's fault for attending the club? By which point she may already feel mentally raped. And therein is the similarity. You're blaming them. But their night is now ruined and they leave. The guys just persist in loitering for scraps without having the intelligence to realise that smiles and conversation is far better than pleading, puppy dog eyes. |
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"Every time we've been to Kestrels (which is, admittedly, only ever on a Sunday) we've found it to be something out of a Benny Hill scene. Walk towards the stable block and a whole raft of guys will follow in a single file there and back. It's quite funny to watch. All that's missing is the little old bald guy to pat on the head
he is there on wednesdays
Damn you beat me to it.
The long walk between pool and stables is the funniest part. If they get too silly half way down the walkway we "suddenly" remember something we left in the changing rooms and head back the other way. Its like a human train crash, very funny."
LOL We have done that. Its very funny.
Much as we like the pace and have members for years, we have seen a fair few lines following like ducklings.
One time two women went into the dark room and 17 single guys followed them in, and then they slipped out again leaving all the guys in there! |
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"Went to a club today, just for a little relaxation.
Seems to us there are some guys with no conscience whatsoever.
If we went yo the sauna they'd follow, went swimming, follow,hot tub follow.
Would have liked to say something but couldn't think of anything nicer than fuck off.
It says just as much about you as it does the guy following you. If you can't think of a nice way of talking to someone how do you expect them to know that you aren't happy with their behaviour?
Love that last comment as it totally blames the harrassed and not the harrasser! That's like blaming a rape victim for being raped.
I'm not blaming anyone and certainly not condoning the behaviour of the guys....but comparing it to rape? Seriously?....I'm just wondering why they would be unable to communicate with someone politely rather than jump in aggressively which us what the op was suggesting would be their preferred response.
Simple thing about respect. You wouldn't mindlessly follow a girl around a night club, or a park, or a supermarket, within a couple of yards or so that she had to push past you all the time, so what makes guys, think that such behaviour is acceptable at a swing club?
I agree there may be some flotsam and jetsam that might get off on that, but generally it's quite offensive and annoying. By the time you open your mouth the dim wits have already invariably ruined your night.
And yes, liken to rape. It's the same point. You blame the woman or couple when actually it is the sad men that are responsible for their own behaviour. Or is it the woman's fault for attending the club? By which point she may already feel mentally raped. And therein is the similarity. You're blaming them. But their night is now ruined and they leave. The guys just persist in loitering for scraps without having the intelligence to realise that smiles and conversation is far better than pleading, puppy dog eyes."
Exactly that's my point.
We are both members of kestrals and adfabs but found kestrals very daunting.
Maybe it was the male female ratio but there was no need for the behaviour like we expected on a naturist day.
One guy made sure he had a hard on before he came into the sauna ffs.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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ive not had much experience of clubs but if you asked him nicely and he continued - would a little more fuss have the desired effect as im thinking he wouldnt want to be shown up in front of everybody - |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Went to a club today, just for a little relaxation.
Seems to us there are some guys with no conscience whatsoever.
If we went yo the sauna they'd follow, went swimming, follow,hot tub follow.
Would have liked to say something but couldn't think of anything nicer than fuck off.
It says just as much about you as it does the guy following you. If you can't think of a nice way of talking to someone how do you expect them to know that you aren't happy with their behaviour?
Love that last comment as it totally blames the harrassed and not the harrasser! That's like blaming a rape victim for being raped.
I'm not blaming anyone and certainly not condoning the behaviour of the guys....but comparing it to rape? Seriously?....I'm just wondering why they would be unable to communicate with someone politely rather than jump in aggressively which us what the op was suggesting would be their preferred response.
Simple thing about respect. You wouldn't mindlessly follow a girl around a night club, or a park, or a supermarket, within a couple of yards or so that she had to push past you all the time, so what makes guys, think that such behaviour is acceptable at a swing club?
I agree there may be some flotsam and jetsam that might get off on that, but generally it's quite offensive and annoying. By the time you open your mouth the dim wits have already invariably ruined your night.
And yes, liken to rape. It's the same point. You blame the woman or couple when actually it is the sad men that are responsible for their own behaviour. Or is it the woman's fault for attending the club? By which point she may already feel mentally raped. And therein is the similarity. You're blaming them. But their night is now ruined and they leave. The guys just persist in loitering for scraps without having the intelligence to realise that smiles and conversation is far better than pleading, puppy dog eyes.
Exactly that's my point.
We are both members of kestrals and adfabs but found kestrals very daunting.
Maybe it was the male female ratio but there was no need for the behaviour like we expected on a naturist day.
One guy made sure he had a hard on before he came into the sauna ffs.
"
He had an erection.... in a swinger's club?
 |
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To be fair in this thread, we are talking about the exceptions here, it's just that one idiot can spoil it for many.
Despite the snide comment above we do go to clubs when there are single guys there because sometimes that's what we want. Most of the time its not a problem.
I can be a bit of an exhibitionist at times and people watching can be a bit of a kick, but to be honest its how its done, keeping a bit of space, not crowding in, not calling out pointlessly lewd comments, and my pet hate, standing over you wanking furiously when you are in the 'splash zone'!
A bit off common sense, a bit of cutesy, and you may even get invited in!
I was a single guy around clubs myself for a while, and I remember how hard it is to meet people, but I also remember how many singles ruined it for the rest.
Guys, being polite goes miles, speaking from both sides of the fence.
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"Went to a club today, just for a little relaxation.
Seems to us there are some guys with no conscience whatsoever.
If we went yo the sauna they'd follow, went swimming, follow,hot tub follow.
Would have liked to say something but couldn't think of anything nicer than fuck off.
It says just as much about you as it does the guy following you. If you can't think of a nice way of talking to someone how do you expect them to know that you aren't happy with their behaviour?
Love that last comment as it totally blames the harrassed and not the harrasser! That's like blaming a rape victim for being raped.
I'm not blaming anyone and certainly not condoning the behaviour of the guys....but comparing it to rape? Seriously?....I'm just wondering why they would be unable to communicate with someone politely rather than jump in aggressively which us what the op was suggesting would be their preferred response.
Simple thing about respect. You wouldn't mindlessly follow a girl around a night club, or a park, or a supermarket, within a couple of yards or so that she had to push past you all the time, so what makes guys, think that such behaviour is acceptable at a swing club?
I agree there may be some flotsam and jetsam that might get off on that, but generally it's quite offensive and annoying. By the time you open your mouth the dim wits have already invariably ruined your night.
And yes, liken to rape. It's the same point. You blame the woman or couple when actually it is the sad men that are responsible for their own behaviour. Or is it the woman's fault for attending the club? By which point she may already feel mentally raped. And therein is the similarity. You're blaming them. But their night is now ruined and they leave. The guys just persist in loitering for scraps without having the intelligence to realise that smiles and conversation is far better than pleading, puppy dog eyes.
Exactly that's my point.
We are both members of kestrals and adfabs but found kestrals very daunting.
Maybe it was the male female ratio but there was no need for the behaviour like we expected on a naturist day.
One guy made sure he had a hard on before he came into the sauna ffs.
He had an erection.... in a swinger's club?
"
its not a swingers club in the day time.
maybe we had the wrong idea about naturist clubs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Went to a club today, just for a little relaxation.
Seems to us there are some guys with no conscience whatsoever.
If we went yo the sauna they'd follow, went swimming, follow,hot tub follow.
Would have liked to say something but couldn't think of anything nicer than fuck off.
It says just as much about you as it does the guy following you. If you can't think of a nice way of talking to someone how do you expect them to know that you aren't happy with their behaviour?
Love that last comment as it totally blames the harrassed and not the harrasser! That's like blaming a rape victim for being raped.
I'm not blaming anyone and certainly not condoning the behaviour of the guys....but comparing it to rape? Seriously?....I'm just wondering why they would be unable to communicate with someone politely rather than jump in aggressively which us what the op was suggesting would be their preferred response.
Simple thing about respect. You wouldn't mindlessly follow a girl around a night club, or a park, or a supermarket, within a couple of yards or so that she had to push past you all the time, so what makes guys, think that such behaviour is acceptable at a swing club?
I agree there may be some flotsam and jetsam that might get off on that, but generally it's quite offensive and annoying. By the time you open your mouth the dim wits have already invariably ruined your night.
And yes, liken to rape. It's the same point. You blame the woman or couple when actually it is the sad men that are responsible for their own behaviour. Or is it the woman's fault for attending the club? By which point she may already feel mentally raped. And therein is the similarity. You're blaming them. But their night is now ruined and they leave. The guys just persist in loitering for scraps without having the intelligence to realise that smiles and conversation is far better than pleading, puppy dog eyes.
Exactly that's my point.
We are both members of kestrals and adfabs but found kestrals very daunting.
Maybe it was the male female ratio but there was no need for the behaviour like we expected on a naturist day.
One guy made sure he had a hard on before he came into the sauna ffs.
He had an erection.... in a swinger's club?
its not a swingers club in the day time.
maybe we had the wrong idea about naturist clubs"
Ah my apologies. Didn't realise it's a naturist club. Fair point. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I still don't get why you couldn't just say something? If he was that out of order then complain to the staff rather than moaning about it afterwards?
Again I'm not condoning the actions of the guy, or blaming the OP...there are always things we can do to help ourselves against the actions of others.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I still don't get why you couldn't just say something? If he was that out of order then complain to the staff rather than moaning about it afterwards?
Again I'm not condoning the actions of the guy, or blaming the OP...there are always things we can do to help ourselves against the actions of others...."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I still don't get why you couldn't just say something? If he was that out of order then complain to the staff rather than moaning about it afterwards?
Again I'm not condoning the actions of the guy, or blaming the OP...there are always things we can do to help ourselves against the actions of others...."
Why should a couple out for a good night have to bother with the situation at all I'm presuming they paid for entry into the club which is likely so really the staff should be on the look out leaving couples and singles free to do as they please |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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some couples truly do act like aggressive wanks...I have no time for anyone telling me to fuck off, or even if it was meant jokingly a kicking in the cock?
I've been part of a couple myself and occasional just with a female friend...if anyone starts misbehaving it is a polite no thanks and that can range to a firm no thanks.
there is NO need for verbal or physical abuse...to ANYONE |
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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
As someone who used to frequent clubs quite often, I found that just telling them you weren't interested would make them stop following you. Some like to be followed. Some don't. It's a mine field for these single guys. I wouldn't assume they know what you are thinking nor take subtle hints. So it's best just to say a polite no thanks. |
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We go on couples only nights, but have by mistake been on a mixed night before now.
I do wonder if it's a numbers thing. One or two guys watching. Well that could be fun, but when it is 7 or 8 around it is a different feeling.
Of course there maybe one or two watching, then add another and another who do you tell to go away. Is there a time share on watching.
Playing in a room with a window does make a difference as there could be 100's watching and we would not mind.
Can't blame the fella's the clubs or the couples in the end everyone is doing what is best for them, there is just not a pareto optimal balance to be had in those circumstances. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"some couples truly do act like aggressive wanks...I have no time for anyone telling me to fuck off, or even if it was meant jokingly a kicking in the cock?
I've been part of a couple myself and occasional just with a female friend...if anyone starts misbehaving it is a polite no thanks and that can range to a firm no thanks.
there is NO need for verbal or physical abuse...to ANYONE"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We go on couples only nights, but have by mistake been on a mixed night before now.
I do wonder if it's a numbers thing. One or two guys watching. Well that could be fun, but when it is 7 or 8 around it is a different feeling.
Of course there maybe one or two watching, then add another and another who do you tell to go away. Is there a time share on watching.
Playing in a room with a window does make a difference as there could be 100's watching and we would not mind.
Can't blame the fella's the clubs or the couples in the end everyone is doing what is best for them, there is just not a pareto optimal balance to be had in those circumstances."
That's interesting, why would it be different if they were behind glass watching? Is it because you know they couldn't lunge at you to touch you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We've had this on couples night. Guys leaving their ladies to dance and socialise while they follow the action.
No interaction, conversations even . . . Just wanking zombies, it's very unnerving!  |
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"We go on couples only nights, but have by mistake been on a mixed night before now.
I do wonder if it's a numbers thing. One or two guys watching. Well that could be fun, but when it is 7 or 8 around it is a different feeling.
Of course there maybe one or two watching, then add another and another who do you tell to go away. Is there a time share on watching.
Playing in a room with a window does make a difference as there could be 100's watching and we would not mind.
Can't blame the fella's the clubs or the couples in the end everyone is doing what is best for them, there is just not a pareto optimal balance to be had in those circumstances.
That's interesting, why would it be different if they were behind glass watching? Is it because you know they couldn't lunge at you to touch you?"
That's probably part of it. But also when you are having fun, if someone who you are not attracted to is hovering, it can be a bit offputting. Where as stood further back behind glass, we don't care what they look like.
Bit like playing on camera in the chat rooms. There could be 3 to 100 people watching and making comments. If we took time to check all the profiles it might put us off putting on a show.
But just a name in a chatroom saying that it's sexy or a turn on we can play and just enjoy the fun.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I still don't get why you couldn't just say something? If he was that out of order then complain to the staff rather than moaning about it afterwards?
Again I'm not condoning the actions of the guy, or blaming the OP...there are always things we can do to help ourselves against the actions of others....
Why should a couple out for a good night have to bother with the situation at all I'm presuming they paid for entry into the club which is likely so really the staff should be on the look out leaving couples and singles free to do as they please "
They wouldn't have a situation to deal with if they said at the start politely to the guy....that is my point! |
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"I still don't get why you couldn't just say something? If he was that out of order then complain to the staff rather than moaning about it afterwards?
Again I'm not condoning the actions of the guy, or blaming the OP...there are always things we can do to help ourselves against the actions of others....
Why should a couple out for a good night have to bother with the situation at all I'm presuming they paid for entry into the club which is likely so really the staff should be on the look out leaving couples and singles free to do as they please
They wouldn't have a situation to deal with if they said at the start politely to the guy....that is my point!"
They did say guys...
So it's not that simple one guy may have been fine, but at some point it becomes uneasy, which guys do you pick to leave? Or do you just remove yourself from the equation.
Much easier to do the latter, but if they then follow, it's the same problem which unlucky fellas do you ask to go somewhere else. And what do you do if they say no. They aint touching, or shouting.
It's not an easy balance to have, it's just a numbers issue. If there were 20 couples and 20 single men, then the issue would not be a big one as the spread would be better. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I still don't get why you couldn't just say something? If he was that out of order then complain to the staff rather than moaning about it afterwards?
Again I'm not condoning the actions of the guy, or blaming the OP...there are always things we can do to help ourselves against the actions of others....
Why should a couple out for a good night have to bother with the situation at all I'm presuming they paid for entry into the club which is likely so really the staff should be on the look out leaving couples and singles free to do as they please
They wouldn't have a situation to deal with if they said at the start politely to the guy....that is my point!
They did say guys...
So it's not that simple one guy may have been fine, but at some point it becomes uneasy, which guys do you pick to leave? Or do you just remove yourself from the equation.
Much easier to do the latter, but if they then follow, it's the same problem which unlucky fellas do you ask to go somewhere else. And what do you do if they say no. They aint touching, or shouting.
It's not an easy balance to have, it's just a numbers issue. If there were 20 couples and 20 single men, then the issue would not be a big one as the spread would be better."
I can't believe that they were one couple surrounded by 20 guys!! If they say no when you ask them to stop following you then you report them to the staff to say that you have asked them to leave you alone but they are refusing. at the end of the day, if you are in a public area you have to accept that others will be there. If you want privacy then get a private room! If all these guys are doing is watching I'm really not sure what they are doing wrong anyway....especially if they haven't been asked not to!!! |
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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
If all these guys are doing is watching I'm really not sure what they are doing wrong anyway....especially if they haven't been asked not to!!
I totally agree with the above statement. It may have sorted it out before it became an issue. |
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I've neve been to an adult club but I have been to a spa and I was in the hot tub with a couple of guys (all totally innocent) when we heard this woman laugh and these two guys leapt out and went to see. I've also seen couples being followed but I guess single guys need to strike a balance between being seen and appearing keen |
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By *jandjbCouple
over a year ago
Nr Manchester |
"We go on couples only nights, but have by mistake been on a mixed night before now.
I do wonder if it's a numbers thing. One or two guys watching. Well that could be fun, but when it is 7 or 8 around it is a different feeling.
Of course there maybe one or two watching, then add another and another who do you tell to go away. Is there a time share on watching.
Playing in a room with a window does make a difference as there could be 100's watching and we would not mind.
Can't blame the fella's the clubs or the couples in the end everyone is doing what is best for them, there is just not a pareto optimal balance to be had in those circumstances.
That's interesting, why would it be different if they were behind glass watching? Is it because you know they couldn't lunge at you to touch you?
That's probably part of it. But also when you are having fun, if someone who you are not attracted to is hovering, it can be a bit offputting. Where as stood further back behind glass, we don't care what they look like.
Bit like playing on camera in the chat rooms. There could be 3 to 100 people watching and making comments. If we took time to check all the profiles it might put us off putting on a show.
But just a name in a chatroom saying that it's sexy or a turn on we can play and just enjoy the fun.
"
Very much agree with this. Playing on a swing in a dungeon with a single guy just standing watching is a big turn off for me (male). Playing in a couples room where people can see through darkened windows is no longer a problem for us. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be honest I don't really see why this is a problem.
You're in a public place where everyone has paid to attend so just because you want privacy doesn't meant you're entitled to it
If you're not comfortable with being watched then I would take control and either say something politely or just remove yourselves from the situation.
I've had a similar experience at kestrels where I wasn't comfortable but instead of getting annoyed we got up and went to a room just to chill out. At the same token there were couples who evidently liked being watched en masse...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I work virtually every weekend these days so our only option sometimes is a singles night, we experiance the behaviour mentioned but accept that this is the norm and we just do our own thing, we all have the option to go or not and we know it will never change but why can't clubs have a second couples only night mid week, I can't see how single men would complain as they would still get 5 nights to our 2 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I work virtually every weekend these days so our only option sometimes is a singles night, we experiance the behaviour mentioned but accept that this is the norm and we just do our own thing, we all have the option to go or not and we know it will never change but why can't clubs have a second couples only night mid week, I can't see how single men would complain as they would still get 5 nights to our 2 "
Because most clubs fleece single guys, they make to much money of them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That's an interesting opinion what shoud the clubs do ?
Stop ripping single guys off!!  "
in our experience they charge a tenner more than couples does nt sound excessive |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That's an interesting opinion what shoud the clubs do ?
Stop ripping single guys off!! in our experience they charge a tenner more than couples does nt sound excessive "
Really? Sounds like you go to a decent club, most charge far more, us you have to pay excessive membership costs |
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"To be honest I don't really see why this is a problem.
You're in a public place where everyone has paid to attend so just because you want privacy doesn't meant you're entitled to it
If you're not comfortable with being watched then I would take control and either say something politely or just remove yourselves from the situation.
I've had a similar experience at kestrels where I wasn't comfortable but instead of getting annoyed we got up and went to a room just to chill out. At the same token there were couples who evidently liked being watched en masse...
"
The problem isn't been watched, after all it is a swing club. But they do usually have private rooms. The problem as we see it, from this post and our experience, is being followed step for step by what are invariably, honking old men-or guys you wouldn't let near your neighbours wife, let alone your own. Men who match you almost step for step and make you feel very uncomfortable and in essence, ruin the couples night. And thereby deny themselves of gratification. When a more relaxed, more convivial, less obtrusive method of approach might just allow the lady to relax and start to play. Then you may get the invite to join them.
And another idea guys is, if you speak to a couple before they enter a play area, remember that the male usually has a huge say, so engage with him too and don't just assume that you have an automatic right to hound them into submission once they've entered. Talking to a couple isn't an automatic right to play with them.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's the Male half here.
This thread is terrifying me.
We've been to infusions and chams loads of times but have only been on Saturday couple only nights.
Were looking to try No.3 in Chorley on saturday but we're scared to death of the unwanted attention of single males.
When we've spoken to couples they tend to say that they've not had any problems but then go on to say do you remember when that guy just came up and tried to join in.
I'm really hoping it's as simple as saying "not tonight thank you". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's the Male half here.
This thread is terrifying me.
We've been to infusions and chams loads of times but have only been on Saturday couple only nights.
Were looking to try No.3 in Chorley on saturday but we're scared to death of the unwanted attention of single males.
When we've spoken to couples they tend to say that they've not had any problems but then go on to say do you remember when that guy just came up and tried to join in.
I'm really hoping it's as simple as saying "not tonight thank you"."
If it was half as bad as some like to make out it is then no one would go. If you have the necessary social skills to communicate with another human being without being abusive you'll find that works. If it doesn't there are staff there to deal with any unwanted attention. I'm always of the opinion these things are What you make of them and I've never let anyone else's experiences put me off going somewhere. Try for yourselves. You might be pleasantly surprised. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's the Male half here.
This thread is terrifying me.
We've been to infusions and chams loads of times but have only been on Saturday couple only nights.
Were looking to try No.3 in Chorley on saturday but we're scared to death of the unwanted attention of single males.
When we've spoken to couples they tend to say that they've not had any problems but then go on to say do you remember when that guy just came up and tried to join in.
I'm really hoping it's as simple as saying "not tonight thank you".
If it was half as bad as some like to make out it is then no one would go. If you have the necessary social skills to communicate with another human being without being abusive you'll find that works. If it doesn't there are staff there to deal with any unwanted attention. I'm always of the opinion these things are What you make of them and I've never let anyone else's experiences put me off going somewhere. Try for yourselves. You might be pleasantly surprised. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's the Male half here.
This thread is terrifying me.
We've been to infusions and chams loads of times but have only been on Saturday couple only nights.
Were looking to try No.3 in Chorley on saturday but we're scared to death of the unwanted attention of single males.
When we've spoken to couples they tend to say that they've not had any problems but then go on to say do you remember when that guy just came up and tried to join in.
I'm really hoping it's as simple as saying "not tonight thank you"."
We've been to No. 3 on a Saturday night when it was couples and single guys. There's not much room to wander so the guys didn't follow us around as such. When we said we weren't interested they left us alone.
One guy was more persistent but my guy jokingly but firmly made it very clear he wasn't welcome and should leave us alone, and he did.
Yes people might try to join in but just say no thank you- if you say it loud enough for other people to hear, that works well. |
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By *1968Man
over a year ago
Wokingham |
I've been visiting swingers clubs for a number of years now as a single guy and i can fully understand the frustration and infuriation from the couples complaining about being followed around or pushy guys. In fact i would go as far as saying, as a single guy, that it F**** me off too.. but having said that the majority of guys are there for one thing, they have usually paid 2 or 3 times as much to get in as a couple or single female and many will see that as a right to get action. Of course this is wrong and im not making an excuse for anyone but fact is thats how its seen
The issue is the lack of control of who gets in and who doesnt but as single guys are the main income of any of these clubs they tend to even overlook some of their most basic rules. Although its not a rule as such (or i dont believe it is) one of the main problems is groups of guys (as in friends) who can sometimes come along in 5 or 6's like 'hungry packs of wolves'... from the outside it seems to me that these guys just wont take a NO (maybe as they are being egged on by their mates)
With the odd exception and you will always get some, i've seen most guys back away when they are told NO but when in groups the No has to be a little more forceful.
come on club owners. i know we are meant to discriminate but even i can tell who the nuisance guys are going to be when i'm queueing up to get in.. they are ruining it for everyone else !
Besides if they are not allowed in maybe i'll get more action LOL
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