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Singles - what does nsa mean to you?
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Just wondering what the general consensus is with people here. What does 'no strings attached' mean to you?
- Notching up as many as you can get? Who cares what the person is like. It's just sex.
- Enjoying intimacy with people whose company you really enjoy? You need to gel with or feel some connection with them.
- One night stands, or friends with benefits?
When does nsa become a relationship? Can you have feelings for a fuck buddy but still call it nsa because you both live separate lives and see other people? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am not single but I will answer, regardless 
In my view NSA is about having no expectations or demands further than what is on offer. It is not a particular type of encounter, a level of involvement, the presence/absence of feelings/emotional attachment. All of the situations described above can be done in NSA fashion, or not.
For any of these to be NSA, the people involved would have to agree on what activity or level of involvement will put little or no demands on their lives and on their desire. NSA should afford maximum freedom.
Casual sex is not devoid of strings - someone who approaches with a strict agenda, who will try to push or manipulate others to get what one wants is not practising NSA. And the opposite, full-blown relationships can be NSA - sure we are used to contractual, proprietary coupling but it is not the only way! |
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I treat everything on here as NSA so to me it goes without saying. If I meet someone and we get along and we both want to keep meeting as either friends or fb's then that's great.
However for other people who place an emphasis on NSA I assume (rightly or wrongly) that they are either in a relationship or after one night stands only no matter how great the chemistry. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am single and want to stay that way so I am after n.s.a
n.s.a to me means I go to party click with someone have sex accasionally being a one of.alot of people I do see again and after 3rd time they may become fb but with no strings, just means I can enjoy social, sex ect without getting too close/jealous and bringing them home to meet the kids lol.i have been told I am a good fb to have as I dont want more from people, just there bodys and personality and dont make demands |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I treat everything on here as NSA so to me it goes without saying. If I meet someone and we get along and we both want to keep meeting as either friends or fb's then that's great.
However for other people who place an emphasis on NSA I assume (rightly or wrongly) that they are either in a relationship or after one night stands only no matter how great the chemistry. x"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me it is possible to have an emotional connection without commitment. But I always think that in a friendship whatever the dynamics there are certain strings.. Or criteria that would mean the friendship ceased!!   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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nsa is definitely a state that exists at the beginning. over time you can maintain the no string but it becomes more difficult not to be attached (unless the sex is bad - at which point why are you there!). The type of attachment is just different from long term partner/wife/husband etc,,, at the beginning anyways.. |
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Thanks for replies. Very interesting.
For me, I want to stay single because I value my freedom and independence, I don't want to share my home or my kids with anyone because we are fine how we are.
However, I do tend to emotionally attach to people who I really get along with, and I can't imagine having sex with someone I couldn't get along with. If I find someone whose company I crave, and with who sex is the most fantastic ever, I would want to keep on seeing them on a regular basis. So, if it's for their company, friendship and sex on a regular basis, is it still nsa? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks for replies. Very interesting.
For me, I want to stay single because I value my freedom and independence, I don't want to share my home or my kids with anyone because we are fine how we are.
However, I do tend to emotionally attach to people who I really get along with, and I can't imagine having sex with someone I couldn't get along with. If I find someone whose company I crave, and with who sex is the most fantastic ever, I would want to keep on seeing them on a regular basis. So, if it's for their company, friendship and sex on a regular basis, is it still nsa?"
I don't think that would be NSA. NSA to me is 'fuck n go'. Nothing wrong with that, but nothing wrong with what you want either. Friendship can be good. It's not relationship strings, just friendship and the respect that goes with that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I find someone whose company I crave, and with who sex is the most fantastic ever, I would want to keep on seeing them on a regular basis. So, if it's for their company, friendship and sex on a regular basis, is it still nsa?"
It is up to the two of you to bargain over it. I will admit that the more attached you get to someone the more difficult it is to keep the claims, demands and expectations from creeping in. But if willing and mindful it can be done. I have been with my boyfriend for over two years now, he is not my only partner, and we try to practise this. Ultimately NSA is about enjoying the time we are blessed to spend together - no more, no less. I am devoted to my partners but I am also a free agent sexually and romantically, and I love them all the more for allowing this.
And by the way - you can have a full-blown relationship and not share your living space, your family life, your bed, your bank account or anything else you don't want to share! Write your own relationship rule book! There are endless relating options out there, it's not just monogamy and fuck-and-go. Please google "relationship escalator" and read that article on SoloPoly - I think you will find it a stimulating read. |
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By *nigmatic1Woman
over a year ago
A seaside town near you! |
Like I said on my profile...I much prefer NCA ... no crap attached! Strings are ok if you can manage them and let's face it, if you meet someone and want to meet them again then there's your first string! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To me NSA means, no commitment. Doesn't have to mean an emotionless 1 off shag unless that's what someone wants (not me by the way) but neither party is committed to anything unless they want to be. Have had long term relationships that I would consider NSA, either one was free to do what they want or walk away when the want. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No commitment. No promises. Definitely no wedding dresses! But (and it is a big but for me) it doesn't mean no respect or consideration. We are both adults after the same thing - that doesn't mean I am gagging for anything on offer (and neither are you) |
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