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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Any ladies fancy being terribly massaged by a completely inexperienced 28 year skinny old white guy?
If yes, I worry about your mental state but please do get in touch.
If no, please post a funny, sarcastic response for the amusement of other viewers 
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Nobody massages me terribly, but I can give very direct feedback and instruction, so that you get it right. My worst massage was from this German woman, who used super thick oil of olay. Sadly my language skills were not up to much. A heavy touch works wonders, deep tissue and lots of probing. My arms and hands may not be so relaxed, leaving time for two way working out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My boobs are really painful tonight so you can only blow on them. Also,I keep getting a twitchy itch in my left butt cheek,I think that could be pummelled out. My neck is a bit stiff (I watch a lot of porn in bed on my phone). Touch my feet and I'll kick you across the room  |
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By *hortieWoman
over a year ago
Northampton |
"My boobs are really painful tonight so you can only blow on them. Also,I keep getting a twitchy itch in my left butt cheek,I think that could be pummelled out. My neck is a bit stiff (I watch a lot of porn in bed on my phone). Touch my feet and I'll kick you across the room "
If you have any OCD type tendencies, my right butt cheek could use a pummelling just to balance things out  |
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