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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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How do you find some serious and genuine dominant men on here?
I have chatted to a few people and they always say 'yeah I can do that' but it never works out like that......anyone close to me genuinely dominant and into BDSM?
Thanks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm sure they're out there, but you're more likely to find them on sites more dedicated to BDSM. There are as many wanna be's on those sites too - you might have to be a little patient!
Good luck.
x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Be careful what you wish for. You will no doubt get inundated with messages promising nights of dominant fun. However in my experience the best type of D/S relationships developed over time. When trust was gained and an understanding of how each others bodies work and react. Jumping in feet first with a person that could get it wrong could put you off for life. Which would be tragic. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree totally that a D/s relationship developers over time with patience, trust and exploring. There are plenty out there that will give your bottom a good smack and think they have done a good job. But in reality a real dominant man has the ultimate respect for you and sees his strong attitude is to please you with his mind and ways that pushes boundaries. I (mrs) would be very selective with your hunt but have fun with it.
Certainly ask what is in his toy/tool box....very good question.
Have fun and hope you find your man x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not easy to find but you will get there x
If someone claim to be a dom or into bdsm, ask them what they would like to do for you, any safe word and what equipments he has got. If he is all about abusing you but not care about what you are after, he is normally just a wannabe x
A true dom should be able to fulfill your deepest and darkest fantasies as well as his and also able to help you to push his and yours limit x and respect your do and don't as well xx
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends what you mean do you want them simply dom in the bed room or outside too?
What kind of dom as well just asking for a dom guy is like walking into a pet store and asking for a dog and being annoyed at not getting the breed you wanted |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i found my Dom on this site, completely by accident. it can happen. but i echo the beware of fakes, and wannabes and above alltake you're time from the other posters. going to your local munch is also a good way to meet genuine people who share the same iinterests. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends what you are actually looking for
Anyone could be dom
But do you want a dom ?
The best thing I would suggest Is to let it develop with someone as it takes time and trust and not a random fab meet ...or join a munch or go on a site dedicated to it or you will end up with 50shades wannabees |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"I always find asking what they have in their toy box is a telling sign!
Most wannabes don't have one!  "
Oops! Spelling! But BUMP!
This works! Will soon let you know who is really into it. or trying pretending! Found a few out with this question  |
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"I agree totally that a D/s relationship developers over time with patience, trust and exploring. There are plenty out there that will give your bottom a good smack and think they have done a good job. But in reality a real dominant man has the ultimate respect for you and sees his strong attitude is to please you with his mind and ways that pushes boundaries. I (mrs) would be very selective with your hunt but have fun with it.
Certainly ask what is in his toy/tool box....very good question.
Have fun and hope you find your man x"
I would also say not all Dom's and sub's go together. Some Dom's like unruly sub's who play up, whilst others like total submission without question.
it also depends on what you want to submit to. Do you want to be put in chastity, not be allowed to cum, be chastised for failing to meet high standards, do you want to be locked in a cage and humiliated, do you want to be displayed in public and made to perform tasks (a personal favorite of mine).
There are lots of ways to Dom someone so maybe you need to know what you want before you seek someone to give it to you.
Oh yes and ask to see his toy/tool box  |
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"How do you find some serious and genuine dominant men on here?
I have chatted to a few people and they always say 'yeah I can do that' but it never works out like that......anyone close to me genuinely dominant and into BDSM?
Thanks"
The problem with finding a Dom on here is that many (most?) men are on here for casual fun and BDSM doesn't lend itself to that due to the time required to build up the required level of trust.
One option for you is to find a kinky FWB like I have then you can slowly work together on your kinkyness. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Be careful what you wish for. You will no doubt get inundated with messages promising nights of dominant fun. However in my experience the best type of D/S relationships developed over time. When trust was gained and an understanding of how each others bodies work and react. Jumping in feet first with a person that could get it wrong could put you off for life. Which would be tragic. "
Totally agree with this. We are looking for a dom or a D/s couple, luckily knowing quite a bit about this its easier to spot the wannabes, some good tips in this thread. Asking about kit and safe words is a good start
Hope you find the right one, having a dom is amazing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Love to throw my hat int the ring,
If you want to find genuine Dom men then get out and about on the fet scene, munches (socials) are a good safe way to chat and meet and there are so many fet/bdsm clubs around now a days.
Have fun be safe |
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As far as safe words go, not everyone uses them. There's a really interesting thread going on at the moment on a BDSM site I'm on about it and lots of people don't use them for a variety of reasons. Mostly because they just prefer the person to say "Ow! That's too hard" or "Wait a second, that rope is too tight".
Sure if you're doing a roleplay scene and the sub wants to be able to say no and stop and have the Dom/Domme ignore them then yes, you obviously need a safe word. But otherwise just clear communication seems to be very commonly preferred. And as my sub and I don't do roleplay that's what I prefer too.
As for kit I'd be out on that front. I keep buying toys for her (for me to use on her) so she has them all, not me. 
The Wartenberg Pinwheel I bought her recently has been a lot of fun!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As far as safe words go, not everyone uses them. There's a really interesting thread going on at the moment on a BDSM site I'm on about it and lots of people don't use them for a variety of reasons. Mostly because they just prefer the person to say "Ow! That's too hard" or "Wait a second, that rope is too tight".
Sure if you're doing a roleplay scene and the sub wants to be able to say no and stop and have the Dom/Domme ignore them then yes, you obviously need a safe word. But otherwise just clear communication seems to be very commonly preferred. And as my sub and I don't do roleplay that's what I prefer too.
As for kit I'd be out on that front. I keep buying toys for her (for me to use on her) so she has them all, not me.
The Wartenberg Pinwheel I bought her recently has been a lot of fun! "
im a sub with my own toybox too. this is for two reasons... firstly, I'm a novice sub just starting training and I'm starting with bondage and sensation so have procured items I'm cimfy being used on me and some that I'm curious about with plans for others as my limits expand and secondly, i know where all the toys have been, so to speak and know they're maintained etc. |
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" have procured items I'm cimfy being used on me and some that I'm curious about with plans for others as my limits expand and secondly, i know where all the toys have been, so to speak and know they're maintained etc. "
Ever heard the expression "topping from the bottom"?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" have procured items I'm cimfy being used on me and some that I'm curious about with plans for others as my limits expand and secondly, i know where all the toys have been, so to speak and know they're maintained etc.
Ever heard the expression "topping from the bottom"?
"
lol yes, particularly in reference to me!  but since I'm what someone at hullfet described as 'sooooo new she should be wearing white' my D is ok with starting off where and with what I'm comfortable and expanding from there. I've no doubt I'm a switch but I'm exploring submission first. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As far as safe words go, not everyone uses them. There's a really interesting thread going on at the moment on a BDSM site I'm on about it and lots of people don't use them for a variety of reasons. Mostly because they just prefer the person to say "Ow! That's too hard" or "Wait a second, that rope is too tight".
Sure if you're doing a roleplay scene and the sub wants to be able to say no and stop and have the Dom/Domme ignore them then yes, you obviously need a safe word. But otherwise just clear communication seems to be very commonly preferred. And as my sub and I don't do roleplay that's what I prefer too.
As for kit I'd be out on that front. I keep buying toys for her (for me to use on her) so she has them all, not me.
The Wartenberg Pinwheel I bought her recently has been a lot of fun! "
As my doms always tell me 'ouch and stop' are not safe words and that's how I love it
Try the pin wheel through a violet wand
It's lush |
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"
Ever heard the expression "topping from the bottom"?
lol yes, particularly in reference to me! but since I'm what someone at hullfet described as 'sooooo new she should be wearing white' my D is ok with starting off where and with what I'm comfortable and expanding from there. "
I think you know what your doing and are going to have a lot of fun in the future 
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Ever heard the expression "topping from the bottom"?
lol yes, particularly in reference to me! but since I'm what someone at hullfet described as 'sooooo new she should be wearing white' my D is ok with starting off where and with what I'm comfortable and expanding from there.
I think you know what your doing and are going to have a lot of fun in the future
"
 i know enough to make a start and trust my D to show me more. i think the journey will be amazing, though.  |
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