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Worst thing said during sex
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I'm quite .... Erm .... Loud .... When I'm having sex. A few weeks ago, a guy stopped me from riding him and said,'Come on, what's with the noise? Let's keep it real, yeah?' .... It killed the mood there and then lol. It still makes me cringe now when I think about it. What the worst this you, or someone else, has said during sex??? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Awww my lovely what a twat.
I am loud myself and all sorts has come out of my mouth in the past I have even growled before, I still blush now thinking about it he just looked at me with a very confused look on his face and said did I hurt you ![](/icons/s/redface.gif) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mine was the opposite. Once someone told me she doesn't do noisy and i said thats fine (even though i do like some sound). We were at it but i couldnt tell whether she was alive or whether she was dead!
...that totally put me off. At least a bit of heavy breathing FFS!! Thought i've bloody killed her and it's not like i'm walking around with a whopper now is it that she's fainted at the size of it lol.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Awww my lovely what a twat.
I am loud myself and all sorts has come out of my mouth in the past I have even growled before, I still blush now thinking about it he just looked at me with a very confused look on his face and said did I hurt you "
Hahahahahahahaha oh my god, that made me chuckle .... Grrrrrrrrrrr Roooooaaaaar lol ![](/icons/s/cool.gif) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Awww my lovely what a twat.
I am loud myself and all sorts has come out of my mouth in the past I have even growled before, I still blush now thinking about it he just looked at me with a very confused look on his face and said did I hurt you "
I had someone ask if I was ok
once. He said he thought I was having a heart attack ![](/icons/s/eek.gif) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Awww my lovely what a twat.
I am loud myself and all sorts has come out of my mouth in the past I have even growled before, I still blush now thinking about it he just looked at me with a very confused look on his face and said did I hurt you
Hahahahahahahaha oh my god, that made me chuckle .... Grrrrrrrrrrr Roooooaaaaar lol " .
Not like a loud roar hahaha just oh I can't explain it as I was in the moment haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Awww my lovely what a twat.
I am loud myself and all sorts has come out of my mouth in the past I have even growled before, I still blush now thinking about it he just looked at me with a very confused look on his face and said did I hurt you
Hahahahahahahaha oh my god, that made me chuckle .... Grrrrrrrrrrr Roooooaaaaar lol .
Not like a loud roar hahaha just oh I can't explain it as I was in the moment haha"
Just pretend you are singing that Katy Perry song if anyone asks… say I always sing that before I come…. doesnt everyone?? ![](/icons/s/biggrin.gif) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I was seeing a bloke once who although not blessed with a large tool would say very loudly in a dodgy London accent (while I was on top only)
Go on gell you ride that big hard cock, go on gell you enjoy yourself...that's it you go gell....
I had to end it I just felt like I was in a horse race lmfao ![](/icons/s/mrgreen.gif) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was seeing a bloke once who although not blessed with a large tool would say very loudly in a dodgy London accent (while I was on top only)
Go on gell you ride that big hard cock, go on gell you enjoy yourself...that's it you go gell....
I had to end it I just felt like I was in a horse race lmfao "
Sounds like he'd have failed the dope test… lol |
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I was once having a great time, just on the point of orgasm when I took cramp right at the top of my thigh. My ex thought he was doing a great job going by my noises, until I yelled "GET OFF NOW" before rolling about in agony. Still makes me laugh thinking about it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My fb used to tell me 'oh just shuttoop and nail me'. To which i'm sure i shouldn't reply by saying 'i am not a hammer you know' haha.
...not sure if that puts her off though. Then some awesome sex after lol i really should learn to zip it.
Oh, then there is the incident where she slapped me because she wanted a kiss and i asked for her to say 'pretty please with a cherry on top' - i sure do pick my moments lol
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Are you ok?" Has to be dumbest thing I've said that has probably ruined a woman's orgasm. She responded "I was Cumming" and I amazingly became even more stupid and said "ah fuck.. I kinda ruined that really.. And now we're In a conversation" it was like an outer body experience and I was next to myself shouting SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!
Just lowered my meet potential by about 87% |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Went on holiday with friends a few years back In a villa. Few beers out with the guys I came back early as I'd had enough. Got in with my friends wife. I sleep in the nude which was a problem as I gave myself a hardon and was rubbing it on her bum ( the way guys do to show they are wanting some) she said "Tony although the holiday is going well, and we are all getting along. Can you take your penis off my arse. Your room is the next door along" was fecking mortified the next morning at breakfast. She said later that it should never be mentioned again. But I didn't know she had already told everyone and they where all having a laugh at my expense for a few days. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have wet myself reading this thread, seriously and not in a good way! Once having fallen asleep after a surfeit of good wine and some inexpert oral I was heard to mutter " Rex! Geddown Rex, down!" ![](/icons/s/redface.gif) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It was evening time, I was mid doggy style in a hotel in the midlands when I realised the curtains were still open and a good proportion of the rooms looked into a courtyard and into each others windows.
I looked across and saw a guy looking straight at us, then when he realised he'd been spotted he did a comedy fall out of sight for speed.
I started laughing out loud, it looked so funny and that immediately killed the moment (good job it was round 2 and not round 1) ![](/icons/s/redface.gif) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm quite .... Erm .... Loud .... When I'm having sex. A few weeks ago, a guy stopped me from riding him and said,'Come on, what's with the noise? Let's keep it real, yeah?' .... It killed the mood there and then lol. It still makes me cringe now when I think about it. What the worst this you, or someone else, has said during sex???"
Id have said he was a useless shag if he killed the mood and showed him the door. |
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By *easing_twoCouple
over a year ago
Bristol, Thornbury |
"I'm quite .... Erm .... Loud .... When I'm having sex. A few weeks ago, a guy stopped me from riding him and said,'Come on, what's with the noise? Let's keep it real, yeah?' .... It killed the mood there and then lol. It still makes me cringe now when I think about it. What the worst this you, or someone else, has said during sex???"
what did you say? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I also used to call an ex my best friends name alllllll the time! Really put a strain on the relationship because my best friend at the time was a girl haha
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
dont know if it's the worst think but:
I have gone Kung Fu (oooooowwwwwwaaaaaaa!)
I have gone choir boy (high pitch ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh)
I have gone Wolverine (rrraaaaaaaagghggghh)
I have probably gone Elvis (whoaoaoaoaoaoa aa aa)
I have gone Kasabian (OOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!)
I have definitely gone old man (aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrr r r r r r - groan)
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was seeing a bloke once who although not blessed with a large tool would say very loudly in a dodgy London accent (while I was on top only)
Go on gell you ride that big hard cock, go on gell you enjoy yourself...that's it you go gell....
I had to end it I just felt like I was in a horse race lmfao "
I just pissed myself laughing at that image then! ![](/icons/s/mrgreen.gif) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm quite .... Erm .... Loud .... When I'm having sex. A few weeks ago, a guy stopped me from riding him and said,'Come on, what's with the noise? Let's keep it real, yeah?' .... It killed the mood there and then lol. It still makes me cringe now when I think about it. What the worst this you, or someone else, has said during sex???"
Wouldn't care if you're loud with me, I'm deaf. xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Went on holiday with friends a few years back In a villa. Few beers out with the guys I came back early as I'd had enough. Got in with my friends wife. I sleep in the nude which was a problem as I gave myself a hardon and was rubbing it on her bum ( the way guys do to show they are wanting some) she said "Tony although the holiday is going well, and we are all getting along. Can you take your penis off my arse. Your room is the next door along" was fecking mortified the next morning at breakfast. She said later that it should never be mentioned again. But I didn't know she had already told everyone and they where all having a laugh at my expense for a few days. "
That is BRILLIANT! !! She sounds like a lady with an excellent sense of humour! ![](/icons/s/mrgreen.gif) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
But seriously - this is the best topic! I couldn't stop chuckling through this.
I was on top of my ex. My ex hates fish, she can't stand them - I once asked mid-sex (in sign language, if you can imagine a sign language for fish!) if she wanted fish fingers sandwich. She froze and her face dropped, and I instantly knew she was really angry - brought her legs around, feet on chest and kicked me off. I went flying off the bed. Couldn't stop laughing but it was cruel - put her off the mood for sex for a few days. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What was your name again'
Only because it was so good and i wanted to see her again.
She did laugh, eventually lol "
So i took revenge for her then? )))) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I got my name from being called good girl all the way through sex with a guy, when I thought about it afterwards I was tempted to say I'm 30 bloody 5 (35 at the time) it was like listening to Bruce Forsyth saying good game good game ![](/icons/s/biggrin.gif) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"But seriously - this is the best topic! I couldn't stop chuckling through this.
I was on top of my ex. My ex hates fish, she can't stand them - I once asked mid-sex (in sign language, if you can imagine a sign language for fish!) if she wanted fish fingers sandwich. She froze and her face dropped, and I instantly knew she was really angry - brought her legs around, feet on chest and kicked me off. I went flying off the bed. Couldn't stop laughing but it was cruel - put her off the mood for sex for a few days."
Surprised she only kicked you off the bed and not straight through the nearest window!! ![](/icons/s/eek.gif) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
At the ripe old age of 22, my knees tend to cease up when I'm on top.
Very awkward to ask to stop for a minute or keep changing positions.
I've had problems with my knees since I was a child. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
This thread is making me laugh so much. I did call out my best friends name out when having sex with my ex. My best friend is female, so it wasn't quite as bad as if I'd called out a mans name thank god, but no less awkward.
Lauz x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was seeing a bloke once who although not blessed with a large tool would say very loudly in a dodgy London accent (while I was on top only)
Go on gell you ride that big hard cock, go on gell you enjoy yourself...that's it you go gell....
I had to end it I just felt like I was in a horse race lmfao "
Oh jeez, mu deepest condolences x
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm quite .... Erm .... Loud .... When I'm having sex. A few weeks ago, a guy stopped me from riding him and said,'Come on, what's with the noise? Let's keep it real, yeah?' .... It killed the mood there and then lol. It still makes me cringe now when I think about it. What the worst this you, or someone else, has said during sex???
what did you say?"
I stopped, laughed, dismounted and left ![](/icons/thumb_up.png) ![](/icons/s/wink.gif) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm quite .... Erm .... Loud .... When I'm having sex. A few weeks ago, a guy stopped me from riding him and said,'Come on, what's with the noise? Let's keep it real, yeah?' .... It killed the mood there and then lol. It still makes me cringe now when I think about it. What the worst this you, or someone else, has said during sex???
what did you say?
I stopped, laughed, dismounted and left ![](/icons/thumb_up.png) "
Hahaha!! This is quality ![](/icons/s/biggrin.gif) |
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"I was seeing a bloke once who although not blessed with a large tool would say very loudly in a dodgy London accent (while I was on top only)
Go on gell you ride that big hard cock, go on gell you enjoy yourself...that's it you go gell....
I had to end it I just felt like I was in a horse race lmfao "
Hahahaha!! There goes my tea!! ![](/icons/thumb_up.png) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was seeing a bloke once who although not blessed with a large tool would say very loudly in a dodgy London accent (while I was on top only)
Go on gell you ride that big hard cock, go on gell you enjoy yourself...that's it you go gell....
I had to end it I just felt like I was in a horse race lmfao
Hahahaha!! There goes my tea!! " Bonanza |
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By *inky pWoman
over a year ago
leicester |
My x shouted oh ruby baby,this was the name of his brothers step daughter who was 15,i laughed an said actually my names shaz,i also had a dog called ruby,an when he started to give me the, I didnt say that bullshit,i replied dont make it worse by saying u ment the dog. Hes an x for a good reason lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm quite .... Erm .... Loud .... When I'm having sex. A few weeks ago, a guy stopped me from riding him and said,'Come on, what's with the noise? Let's keep it real, yeah?' .... It killed the mood there and then lol. It still makes me cringe now when I think about it. What the worst this you, or someone else, has said during sex???"
Just realised that the last bit of my post doesn't make sense! It should say 'what is the worst thing that you, or someone else, has said during sex???' .... But you guys got it, obviously ![](/icons/s/cool.gif) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm quite .... Erm .... Loud .... When I'm having sex. A few weeks ago, a guy stopped me from riding him and said,'Come on, what's with the noise? Let's keep it real, yeah?' .... It killed the mood there and then lol. It still makes me cringe now when I think about it. What the worst this you, or someone else, has said during sex???"
I do love a good loud girl you not have that problem with me.
the worst thing I heard was a girl was shit my dad back early. ![](/icons/s/eek.gif) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My ex girlfriends sisters name. She then got up and fucked off crying. Obv called her sister who then with her gay friend came barging in the room with me stark bollox naked still proud led on bed shouting wtf! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Was fingering my fwb when she grabbed my cock and started wanking me off and I said 'it's not a race you know' to cum
Moment killer but both laughed it off |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm quite .... Erm .... Loud .... When I'm having sex. A few weeks ago, a guy stopped me from riding him and said,'Come on, what's with the noise? Let's keep it real, yeah?' .... It killed the mood there and then lol. It still makes me cringe now when I think about it. What the worst this you, or someone else, has said during sex???"
He must have been mad I love a noisey lady the more moans and shouts the better at least I think so any way so keep up the good work ![](/icons/thumb_up.png) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I was once balls deep in my ex and she said something daft. I meant to reply 'cheeky monkey' but it came out as 'chunky'. She threw me off. Apparently she was fat at school and that was her unwanted nickname. Oops! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
So sorry darling Daphnne but the condom has burst you will have to get the morning after pill.....
No need Jeremy my love, I cant get pregnant...
Oh, are you infertile my dear??
No, this time last year my name was David not Daphnne, did I not mention this???? lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So sorry darling Daphnne but the condom has burst you will have to get the morning after pill.....
No need Jeremy my love, I cant get pregnant...
Oh, are you infertile my dear??
No, this time last year my name was David not Daphnne, did I not mention this???? lol"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
One ex gf said 'thats it, rape me' ... I stopped. She asked 'why did you stop'. passion dissipated.
Another ex gf, just as i was about to cum stopped and said 'am i hurting you' ... Passion free moment.
The worst, i can take ages to cum and recall being asked 'are you going to cum'.
Oh, most recently, after cumming she said 'job done' ... And i was about to start on seconds ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was once having a great time, just on the point of orgasm when I took cramp right at the top of my thigh. My ex thought he was doing a great job going by my noises, until I yelled "GET OFF NOW" before rolling about in agony. Still makes me laugh thinking about it! "
I have this problem quite often! If they're nearly finished, I find the screams and groans help them along, but they're usually pretty confused when I keep going after they've finished! Then they twig and usually ask whether it was just pain or I was actually enjoying it!
The worst thing I've ever said was asking a stupid question about my boyfriend at the time's friend. I was having a problem with my medication at the time and often had moments where I wasn't completely with it
Unfortunately, he was very paranoid and took this as I was thinking about another guy and he went to hit me.
He then threatened to kill himself because he'd gone to hit me, so I spent at least an hour talking him round to giving me the knife!
Safe to say I'm well shot of that one! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I was once having a great time, just on the point of orgasm when I took cramp right at the top of my thigh. My ex thought he was doing a great job going by my noises, until I yelled "GET OFF NOW" before rolling about in agony. Still makes me laugh thinking about it!
I have this problem quite often! If they're nearly finished, I find the screams and groans help them along, but they're usually pretty confused when I keep going after they've finished! Then they twig and usually ask whether it was just pain or I was actually enjoying it!
The worst thing I've ever said was asking a stupid question about my boyfriend at the time's friend. I was having a problem with my medication at the time and often had moments where I wasn't completely with it
Unfortunately, he was very paranoid and took this as I was thinking about another guy and he went to hit me.
He then threatened to kill himself because he'd gone to hit me, so I spent at least an hour talking him round to giving me the knife!
Safe to say I'm well shot of that one!"
omfg ![](/icons/s/2/eh.gif) |
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By *urvywelshCouple
over a year ago
Everywhere and nowhere baby |
I was lying there, afterwards, with a guy, and started stroking his cock, gently. I said "do you know, I really miss my cock". The silence was deafening for a few seconds, then my Mr, who likes to watch, started giggling. I was joking of course, then the guy realised and started laughing too, but with a look of relief on his face. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Due to not having any condoms we were playing with each other, she tells me to fuck her bareback. Needless to say the went out of it then for me, I was the one who stipulated no condom no fun. |
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By *ean299Man
over a year ago
Lucan |
"I was lying there, afterwards, with a guy, and started stroking his cock, gently. I said "do you know, I really miss my cock". The silence was deafening for a few seconds, then my Mr, who likes to watch, started giggling. I was joking of course, then the guy realised and started laughing too, but with a look of relief on his face. "
Brilliant ![](/icons/s/mrgreen.gif) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We always know when we have been too loud having sex when our 80 year old neighbour next door wakes us the following morning banging around.
Maybe because me (mrs) generally says 'fuck' a lot when 'mr' hits those special places...lol
But have to say the most off putting meet we ever had was with a couple where the lady said nothing!! No moans. No noise. Nothing....my man did not like that at all. Her hubby said she had an awesome time....how would he have known?? Lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Confession.....lol I was once having sex with a girl and I was behind her......can you picture it.......I could see myself in her mirror on the dressing table......but thought she couldn't see me......lol lol........so........lol lol......I thought it would be funny to.........lol lol right.....I thought it would be funny to a monkey impression with both my arms....lol lol lol but I actually made the noise too.......lol and she caught me.....lol lol we had to take a break for ten mins to stop laughing.....why did I do it????? Fuck knows........why am I telling you lot......fuck knows...lol ![](/icons/s/redface.gif) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Went home with a guy after a night out , we were both pissed and messing around on the sofa . Then he let this big massive fart rip out of him like a monster earthquake! He then turned to me and said open that window will you?
As I reached for my shoes and coat he had the cheek to ask me where I was going!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Woke up in the middle of the night to hear lass in flat below moaning and groaning away. Then suddenly quiet and her say ..... "Is that it!". Fell out of bed I was laughing so much ![](/icons/s/biggrin.gif) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was once riding a guy and he was very well endowed it was slightly uncomfortable but I gave it a good go a couple of mins into it he said "are you ok?" then said "you look like your going to be sick" I then stopped got off and got dressed apologised then asked him to leave. I was very embarrassed and didn't have sex for a year was a big confidence knock
Luckily I've never had a complaint since and have asked if I do pull that face but must of been a one off lol ![](/icons/s/redface.gif) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm quiet, no noise. Which doesn't mean I don't appreciate the sex, I do. But apparently recently I was making noises. must have been the new position I tried. ![](/icons/s/2/cute.gif) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Im thrusting away, beads of sweat dripping from my brow, gripped in the throes of extacy as we both rush headlong to a tumultuous climax......
"Three down, five letters, begins with P and has an A in the middle. Any ideas love?" ![](/icons/s/eek.gif) |
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