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Worst thing said during sex

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

I'm quite .... Erm .... Loud .... When I'm having sex. A few weeks ago, a guy stopped me from riding him and said,'Come on, what's with the noise? Let's keep it real, yeah?' .... It killed the mood there and then lol. It still makes me cringe now when I think about it. What the worst this you, or someone else, has said during sex???

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Have you got the correct money, I'm all out of change.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Me to husband: shall we have shepherds pie for dinner?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Awww my lovely what a twat.

I am loud myself and all sorts has come out of my mouth in the past I have even growled before, I still blush now thinking about it he just looked at me with a very confused look on his face and said did I hurt you

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Have you got the correct money, I'm all out of change. "

That would earn you a slap

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Mine was the opposite. Once someone told me she doesn't do noisy and i said thats fine (even though i do like some sound). We were at it but i couldnt tell whether she was alive or whether she was dead!

...that totally put me off. At least a bit of heavy breathing FFS!! Thought i've bloody killed her and it's not like i'm walking around with a whopper now is it that she's fainted at the size of it lol.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Awww my lovely what a twat.

I am loud myself and all sorts has come out of my mouth in the past I have even growled before, I still blush now thinking about it he just looked at me with a very confused look on his face and said did I hurt you "

Hahahahahahahaha oh my god, that made me chuckle .... Grrrrrrrrrrr Roooooaaaaar lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The fool....who doesent like volume?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Awww my lovely what a twat.

I am loud myself and all sorts has come out of my mouth in the past I have even growled before, I still blush now thinking about it he just looked at me with a very confused look on his face and said did I hurt you "

I had someone ask if I was ok

once. He said he thought I was having a heart attack

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

My ex partner name

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I am very good at getting mens names wrong

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"My ex partner name "

...., now that's just plain stupid lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

You sure you've lost weight……??

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

my real name is DAVE !

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Awww my lovely what a twat.

I am loud myself and all sorts has come out of my mouth in the past I have even growled before, I still blush now thinking about it he just looked at me with a very confused look on his face and said did I hurt you

Hahahahahahahaha oh my god, that made me chuckle .... Grrrrrrrrrrr Roooooaaaaar lol "

.

Not like a loud roar hahaha just oh I can't explain it as I was in the moment haha

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Awww my lovely what a twat.

I am loud myself and all sorts has come out of my mouth in the past I have even growled before, I still blush now thinking about it he just looked at me with a very confused look on his face and said did I hurt you

Hahahahahahahaha oh my god, that made me chuckle .... Grrrrrrrrrrr Roooooaaaaar lol .

Not like a loud roar hahaha just oh I can't explain it as I was in the moment haha"

Just pretend you are singing that Katy Perry song if anyone asks… say I always sing that before I come…. doesnt everyone??

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I was seeing a bloke once who although not blessed with a large tool would say very loudly in a dodgy London accent (while I was on top only)

Go on gell you ride that big hard cock, go on gell you enjoy yourself...that's it you go gell....

I had to end it I just felt like I was in a horse race lmfao

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I was seeing a bloke once who although not blessed with a large tool would say very loudly in a dodgy London accent (while I was on top only)

Go on gell you ride that big hard cock, go on gell you enjoy yourself...that's it you go gell....

I had to end it I just felt like I was in a horse race lmfao "

Sounds like he'd have failed the dope test… lol

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By *cottishsexgoddessWoman  over a year ago

Glenrothes

I was once having a great time, just on the point of orgasm when I took cramp right at the top of my thigh. My ex thought he was doing a great job going by my noises, until I yelled "GET OFF NOW" before rolling about in agony. Still makes me laugh thinking about it!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Have you got the correct money, I'm all out of change.

That would earn you a slap "

That was from her lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

My fb used to tell me 'oh just shuttoop and nail me'. To which i'm sure i shouldn't reply by saying 'i am not a hammer you know' haha.

...not sure if that puts her off though. Then some awesome sex after lol i really should learn to zip it.

Oh, then there is the incident where she slapped me because she wanted a kiss and i asked for her to say 'pretty please with a cherry on top' - i sure do pick my moments lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

"Are you ok?" Has to be dumbest thing I've said that has probably ruined a woman's orgasm. She responded "I was Cumming" and I amazingly became even more stupid and said "ah fuck.. I kinda ruined that really.. And now we're In a conversation" it was like an outer body experience and I was next to myself shouting SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!

Just lowered my meet potential by about 87%

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By *r Man.Man  over a year ago

London

What was your name again'

Only because it was so good and i wanted to see her again.

She did laugh, eventually lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My ex partner name

...., now that's just plain stupid lol "

Very stupid but still end up finishing off

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I call people names. One guy said afterwards you called me a cunt !

Also been told I sound like a whimpering puppy

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Went on holiday with friends a few years back In a villa. Few beers out with the guys I came back early as I'd had enough. Got in with my friends wife. I sleep in the nude which was a problem as I gave myself a hardon and was rubbing it on her bum ( the way guys do to show they are wanting some) she said "Tony although the holiday is going well, and we are all getting along. Can you take your penis off my arse. Your room is the next door along" was fecking mortified the next morning at breakfast. She said later that it should never be mentioned again. But I didn't know she had already told everyone and they where all having a laugh at my expense for a few days.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

I'm just gonna be concentrating on keeping my mouth shut in future lol x

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By *ucky1Man  over a year ago

a straightjacket

Is it in yet? Not good being hung like a wasp!

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By *eyondCuriousWoman  over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Ex wife's name as you come

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By *ivilizedkinkCouple  over a year ago

harrow

Im very load during sex and one night while in the throughs of passion my house mate informed us she was moving out as she couldn't cope with all our noise sex

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Stops mid-thrust, bangs on floor and shouts "mum, put the kettle on, I'm nearly done up here"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Hurry up am busting for a shite

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I have wet myself reading this thread, seriously and not in a good way! Once having fallen asleep after a surfeit of good wine and some inexpert oral I was heard to mutter " Rex! Geddown Rex, down!"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Stops mid-thrust, bangs on floor and shouts "mum, put the kettle on, I'm nearly done up here" "

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By *ean299Man  over a year ago

Lucan


"I have wet myself reading this thread, seriously and not in a good way! Once having fallen asleep after a surfeit of good wine and some inexpert oral I was heard to mutter " Rex! Geddown Rex, down!" "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

my daughter home from uni and im chuckling away to myself and just had to talk my way out of what i was laughing at

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Having great sex then she said im a Swansea fan,that ruined it

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Years ago I had a girl say "hurry up and cum will you!!!" I stopped got up got dressed and left! talk about a passion killer

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It was evening time, I was mid doggy style in a hotel in the midlands when I realised the curtains were still open and a good proportion of the rooms looked into a courtyard and into each others windows.

I looked across and saw a guy looking straight at us, then when he realised he'd been spotted he did a comedy fall out of sight for speed.

I started laughing out loud, it looked so funny and that immediately killed the moment (good job it was round 2 and not round 1)

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By *icentiousCouple  over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"What do I do next?"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm quite .... Erm .... Loud .... When I'm having sex. A few weeks ago, a guy stopped me from riding him and said,'Come on, what's with the noise? Let's keep it real, yeah?' .... It killed the mood there and then lol. It still makes me cringe now when I think about it. What the worst this you, or someone else, has said during sex???"

Id have said he was a useless shag if he killed the mood and showed him the door.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

He: you could moan a bit

She: that ceiling needs painting

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By *easing_twoCouple  over a year ago

Bristol, Thornbury


"I'm quite .... Erm .... Loud .... When I'm having sex. A few weeks ago, a guy stopped me from riding him and said,'Come on, what's with the noise? Let's keep it real, yeah?' .... It killed the mood there and then lol. It still makes me cringe now when I think about it. What the worst this you, or someone else, has said during sex???"

what did you say?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I also used to call an ex my best friends name alllllll the time! Really put a strain on the relationship because my best friend at the time was a girl haha

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By *oodmessMan  over a year ago

yumsville

dont know if it's the worst think but:

I have gone Kung Fu (oooooowwwwwwaaaaaaa!)

I have gone choir boy (high pitch ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh)

I have gone Wolverine (rrraaaaaaaagghggghh)

I have probably gone Elvis (whoaoaoaoaoaoa aa aa)

I have gone Kasabian (OOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!)

I have definitely gone old man (aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrr r r r r r - groan)

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I was seeing a bloke once who although not blessed with a large tool would say very loudly in a dodgy London accent (while I was on top only)

Go on gell you ride that big hard cock, go on gell you enjoy yourself...that's it you go gell....

I had to end it I just felt like I was in a horse race lmfao "

I just pissed myself laughing at that image then!

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By *umpleteazerWoman  over a year ago

Flintshire

Had one guy that squealed like a pig. And another that sounded like Yoda. Very off putting lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm quite .... Erm .... Loud .... When I'm having sex. A few weeks ago, a guy stopped me from riding him and said,'Come on, what's with the noise? Let's keep it real, yeah?' .... It killed the mood there and then lol. It still makes me cringe now when I think about it. What the worst this you, or someone else, has said during sex???"

Wouldn't care if you're loud with me, I'm deaf. xx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Went on holiday with friends a few years back In a villa. Few beers out with the guys I came back early as I'd had enough. Got in with my friends wife. I sleep in the nude which was a problem as I gave myself a hardon and was rubbing it on her bum ( the way guys do to show they are wanting some) she said "Tony although the holiday is going well, and we are all getting along. Can you take your penis off my arse. Your room is the next door along" was fecking mortified the next morning at breakfast. She said later that it should never be mentioned again. But I didn't know she had already told everyone and they where all having a laugh at my expense for a few days. "

That is BRILLIANT! !! She sounds like a lady with an excellent sense of humour!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

But seriously - this is the best topic! I couldn't stop chuckling through this.

I was on top of my ex. My ex hates fish, she can't stand them - I once asked mid-sex (in sign language, if you can imagine a sign language for fish!) if she wanted fish fingers sandwich. She froze and her face dropped, and I instantly knew she was really angry - brought her legs around, feet on chest and kicked me off. I went flying off the bed. Couldn't stop laughing but it was cruel - put her off the mood for sex for a few days.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

A guy said to me 'christ I shouldve bought a muzzle with me!'

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By *ean299Man  over a year ago

Lucan


"A guy said to me 'christ I shouldve bought a muzzle with me!' "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

"Ill have a P, Bob" make sure Countdown is not on, when having sex in the living room

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

When I fuck someone and when I want them to turn over to another side, I tell them "turn over bitch" lol.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"What was your name again'

Only because it was so good and i wanted to see her again.

She did laugh, eventually lol "

So i took revenge for her then? ))))

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I got my name from being called good girl all the way through sex with a guy, when I thought about it afterwards I was tempted to say I'm 30 bloody 5 (35 at the time) it was like listening to Bruce Forsyth saying good game good game

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

"Ahhhhhh, that's me done. Can you call me a taxi" whilst your wiping your cock on the sheets

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"When I fuck someone and when I want them to turn over to another side, I tell them "turn over bitch" lol."

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"But seriously - this is the best topic! I couldn't stop chuckling through this.

I was on top of my ex. My ex hates fish, she can't stand them - I once asked mid-sex (in sign language, if you can imagine a sign language for fish!) if she wanted fish fingers sandwich. She froze and her face dropped, and I instantly knew she was really angry - brought her legs around, feet on chest and kicked me off. I went flying off the bed. Couldn't stop laughing but it was cruel - put her off the mood for sex for a few days."

Surprised she only kicked you off the bed and not straight through the nearest window!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

At the ripe old age of 22, my knees tend to cease up when I'm on top.

Very awkward to ask to stop for a minute or keep changing positions.

I've had problems with my knees since I was a child.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

This thread is making me laugh so much. I did call out my best friends name out when having sex with my ex. My best friend is female, so it wasn't quite as bad as if I'd called out a mans name thank god, but no less awkward.

Lauz x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I got my name from being called good girl all the way through sex with a guy, when I thought about it afterwards I was tempted to say I'm 30 bloody 5 (35 at the time) it was like listening to Bruce Forsyth saying good game good game "

Hmm...I quite like being told I am a good girl! although not in a 'Bruce Forsyth' kind of way though! !!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I was seeing a bloke once who although not blessed with a large tool would say very loudly in a dodgy London accent (while I was on top only)

Go on gell you ride that big hard cock, go on gell you enjoy yourself...that's it you go gell....

I had to end it I just felt like I was in a horse race lmfao "

Oh jeez, mu deepest condolences x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

That'll do pig.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Had one guy that squealed like a pig. And another that sounded like Yoda. Very off putting lol"

ooh I had a Yoda man too!

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I'm quite .... Erm .... Loud .... When I'm having sex. A few weeks ago, a guy stopped me from riding him and said,'Come on, what's with the noise? Let's keep it real, yeah?' .... It killed the mood there and then lol. It still makes me cringe now when I think about it. What the worst this you, or someone else, has said during sex???

what did you say?"

I stopped, laughed, dismounted and left

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm quite .... Erm .... Loud .... When I'm having sex. A few weeks ago, a guy stopped me from riding him and said,'Come on, what's with the noise? Let's keep it real, yeah?' .... It killed the mood there and then lol. It still makes me cringe now when I think about it. What the worst this you, or someone else, has said during sex???

what did you say?

I stopped, laughed, dismounted and left "

Hahaha!! This is quality

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By *eather_satinCouple  over a year ago

West Sussex


"I was seeing a bloke once who although not blessed with a large tool would say very loudly in a dodgy London accent (while I was on top only)

Go on gell you ride that big hard cock, go on gell you enjoy yourself...that's it you go gell....

I had to end it I just felt like I was in a horse race lmfao "

Hahahaha!! There goes my tea!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

"Oh that looks strange"....

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I was seeing a bloke once who although not blessed with a large tool would say very loudly in a dodgy London accent (while I was on top only)

Go on gell you ride that big hard cock, go on gell you enjoy yourself...that's it you go gell....

I had to end it I just felt like I was in a horse race lmfao

Hahahaha!! There goes my tea!! "

Bonanza

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By *ickawitchCouple  over a year ago

Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you)


"Is it in yet? Not good being hung like a wasp!"

Just had a peep at your pics and can't see a wasp one

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By *ivilizedkinkCouple  over a year ago

harrow

When I was about 20 went back to a girls id just meet in a night club .gettin it on with her on her bed , lights still out when she whispers " most be quiet nana's asleep in the next bed "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

First time playing with a guy and you say "Is it in yet" ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"When I was about 20 went back to a girls id just meet in a night club .gettin it on with her on her bed , lights still out when she whispers " most be quiet nana's asleep in the next bed " "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I was with a woman on a one night stand and she fell asleep on the job....lol It was more what she didn't say that was the problem

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"First time playing with a guy and you say "Is it in yet" ? "

ouch

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I've had oops sorry.

She farted lol

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By *rank_SimoneCouple  over a year ago

Bideford

As you slip your prick inside her and she says I love a good fingering before the real thing.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I've had oops sorry.

She farted lol"

Easy done hahahahahahahaha! Not that I've ever done it, obviously

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

With my ex I called her by her sisters name!!!

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By *inky pWoman  over a year ago

leicester

My x shouted oh ruby baby,this was the name of his brothers step daughter who was 15,i laughed an said actually my names shaz,i also had a dog called ruby,an when he started to give me the, I didnt say that bullshit,i replied dont make it worse by saying u ment the dog. Hes an x for a good reason lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"As you slip your prick inside her and she says I love a good fingering before the real thing."

OH I am sorry but that is funny!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I'm quite .... Erm .... Loud .... When I'm having sex. A few weeks ago, a guy stopped me from riding him and said,'Come on, what's with the noise? Let's keep it real, yeah?' .... It killed the mood there and then lol. It still makes me cringe now when I think about it. What the worst this you, or someone else, has said during sex???"

Just realised that the last bit of my post doesn't make sense! It should say 'what is the worst thing that you, or someone else, has said during sex???' .... But you guys got it, obviously

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Has anyone said " Is it in yet?" yet?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Your mum says that when she cums aswell

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Has anyone said " Is it in yet?" yet? "

Of course

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Ive never said it . May have thought it a few times lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm quite .... Erm .... Loud .... When I'm having sex. A few weeks ago, a guy stopped me from riding him and said,'Come on, what's with the noise? Let's keep it real, yeah?' .... It killed the mood there and then lol. It still makes me cringe now when I think about it. What the worst this you, or someone else, has said during sex???"

I do love a good loud girl you not have that problem with me.

the worst thing I heard was a girl was shit my dad back early.

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By *urvywelshCouple  over a year ago

Everywhere and nowhere baby

Oh well, it's in there now.

When he put it in the wrong hole.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Oh well, it's in there now.

When he put it in the wrong hole. "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

My ex girlfriends sisters name. She then got up and fucked off crying. Obv called her sister who then with her gay friend came barging in the room with me stark bollox naked still proud led on bed shouting wtf!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I must confess that I asked a bloke if he was alright and was I hurting him, when I heard him moaning whilst I was on top. Oh dear...

P

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By *mma_j_cdTV/TS  over a year ago

chester

this must be the best thread in ages, my sides are aching with laughing

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Is you mum still single and as good in bed

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By *woThirdsOreoCouple  over a year ago

Orlando

DAMN! My condom broke

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Is it in yet

Can you phone me a taxi am nearly done

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Was fingering my fwb when she grabbed my cock and started wanking me off and I said 'it's not a race you know' to cum

Moment killer but both laughed it off

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Oh well, it's in there now.

When he put it in the wrong hole. "

Ha ha ha funny that one made me chortle

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm quite .... Erm .... Loud .... When I'm having sex. A few weeks ago, a guy stopped me from riding him and said,'Come on, what's with the noise? Let's keep it real, yeah?' .... It killed the mood there and then lol. It still makes me cringe now when I think about it. What the worst this you, or someone else, has said during sex???"

He must have been mad I love a noisey lady the more moans and shouts the better at least I think so any way so keep up the good work

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I was once balls deep in my ex and she said something daft. I meant to reply 'cheeky monkey' but it came out as 'chunky'. She threw me off. Apparently she was fat at school and that was her unwanted nickname. Oops!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

So sorry darling Daphnne but the condom has burst you will have to get the morning after pill.....

No need Jeremy my love, I cant get pregnant...

Oh, are you infertile my dear??

No, this time last year my name was David not Daphnne, did I not mention this???? lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So sorry darling Daphnne but the condom has burst you will have to get the morning after pill.....

No need Jeremy my love, I cant get pregnant...

Oh, are you infertile my dear??

No, this time last year my name was David not Daphnne, did I not mention this???? lol"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

My OH is always making terrible puns during sex, and I frequently can't do anything for laughing!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I dislike the silent ones, nothing like a little noise while in the act.

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By *r Man.Man  over a year ago

London


"What was your name again'

Only because it was so good and i wanted to see her again.

She did laugh, eventually lol

So i took revenge for her then? ))))"

it did bring a smile when you did ask

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Stops mid-thrust, bangs on floor and shouts "mum, put the kettle on, I'm nearly done up here" "

Omg x that's just sooooo wrong x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

One ex gf said 'thats it, rape me' ... I stopped. She asked 'why did you stop'. passion dissipated.

Another ex gf, just as i was about to cum stopped and said 'am i hurting you' ... Passion free moment.

The worst, i can take ages to cum and recall being asked 'are you going to cum'.

Oh, most recently, after cumming she said 'job done' ... And i was about to start on seconds ...

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By *nfieldishCouple  over a year ago

Enfield


"My ex partner name "

Done this while having doggie style....

Wasn't appreciated .... I think..... I didn't ask... Just let go of her hair and rolled away...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I was once having a great time, just on the point of orgasm when I took cramp right at the top of my thigh. My ex thought he was doing a great job going by my noises, until I yelled "GET OFF NOW" before rolling about in agony. Still makes me laugh thinking about it! "

I have this problem quite often! If they're nearly finished, I find the screams and groans help them along, but they're usually pretty confused when I keep going after they've finished! Then they twig and usually ask whether it was just pain or I was actually enjoying it!

The worst thing I've ever said was asking a stupid question about my boyfriend at the time's friend. I was having a problem with my medication at the time and often had moments where I wasn't completely with it

Unfortunately, he was very paranoid and took this as I was thinking about another guy and he went to hit me.

He then threatened to kill himself because he'd gone to hit me, so I spent at least an hour talking him round to giving me the knife!

Safe to say I'm well shot of that one!

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I was once having a great time, just on the point of orgasm when I took cramp right at the top of my thigh. My ex thought he was doing a great job going by my noises, until I yelled "GET OFF NOW" before rolling about in agony. Still makes me laugh thinking about it!

I have this problem quite often! If they're nearly finished, I find the screams and groans help them along, but they're usually pretty confused when I keep going after they've finished! Then they twig and usually ask whether it was just pain or I was actually enjoying it!

The worst thing I've ever said was asking a stupid question about my boyfriend at the time's friend. I was having a problem with my medication at the time and often had moments where I wasn't completely with it

Unfortunately, he was very paranoid and took this as I was thinking about another guy and he went to hit me.

He then threatened to kill himself because he'd gone to hit me, so I spent at least an hour talking him round to giving me the knife!

Safe to say I'm well shot of that one!"

omfg

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By *orthyorkypairCouple  over a year ago

North Yorkshire

is that it all in? lol

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By *urvywelshCouple  over a year ago

Everywhere and nowhere baby

I was lying there, afterwards, with a guy, and started stroking his cock, gently. I said "do you know, I really miss my cock". The silence was deafening for a few seconds, then my Mr, who likes to watch, started giggling. I was joking of course, then the guy realised and started laughing too, but with a look of relief on his face.

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By *eakcoupleCouple  over a year ago

peak district

Being called the wrong name!

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By *elsh n wildCouple  over a year ago

Cardiff area

I feel sick xx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Shit that's my husbands key in the door..did I forget to tell you I was married?

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By *elsh n wildCouple  over a year ago

Cardiff area


"Shit that's my husbands key in the door..did I forget to tell you I was married? "
class

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/04/14 22:24:41]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Due to not having any condoms we were playing with each other, she tells me to fuck her bareback. Needless to say the went out of it then for me, I was the one who stipulated no condom no fun.

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By *ean299Man  over a year ago

Lucan


"I was lying there, afterwards, with a guy, and started stroking his cock, gently. I said "do you know, I really miss my cock". The silence was deafening for a few seconds, then my Mr, who likes to watch, started giggling. I was joking of course, then the guy realised and started laughing too, but with a look of relief on his face. "

Brilliant

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

We always know when we have been too loud having sex when our 80 year old neighbour next door wakes us the following morning banging around.

Maybe because me (mrs) generally says 'fuck' a lot when 'mr' hits those special places...lol

But have to say the most off putting meet we ever had was with a couple where the lady said nothing!! No moans. No noise. Nothing....my man did not like that at all. Her hubby said she had an awesome time....how would he have known?? Lol

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By *issyfaggotfayeTV/TS  over a year ago

Bolton

a girl once swore at me..........f me you bastard !!!! etc I was quite taken aback lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Now then, Now then!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I have just farted on your willy lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Is it in yet mind you she had a cunt like a bucket lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

bugger spilt my beernow

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Confession.....lol I was once having sex with a girl and I was behind her......can you picture it.......I could see myself in her mirror on the dressing table......but thought she couldn't see me......lol lol........so........lol lol......I thought it would be funny to.........lol lol right.....I thought it would be funny to a monkey impression with both my arms....lol lol lol but I actually made the noise too.......lol and she caught me.....lol lol we had to take a break for ten mins to stop laughing.....why did I do it????? Fuck knows........why am I telling you lot......fuck knows...lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'm sorry are my teeth hurting you?

Yes god damnit scraping my cock

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Went home with a guy after a night out , we were both pissed and messing around on the sofa . Then he let this big massive fart rip out of him like a monster earthquake! He then turned to me and said open that window will you?

As I reached for my shoes and coat he had the cheek to ask me where I was going!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Do you fancy curry after ? Kill.it

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By *elsh n wildCouple  over a year ago

Cardiff area

My name

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Woke up in the middle of the night to hear lass in flat below moaning and groaning away. Then suddenly quiet and her say ..... "Is that it!". Fell out of bed I was laughing so much

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By *ickawitchCouple  over a year ago

Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you)


"I have just farted on your willy lol "

Sounds like me.....I do think farts are funny

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Lol the louder the better

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I was once riding a guy and he was very well endowed it was slightly uncomfortable but I gave it a good go a couple of mins into it he said "are you ok?" then said "you look like your going to be sick" I then stopped got off and got dressed apologised then asked him to leave. I was very embarrassed and didn't have sex for a year was a big confidence knock

Luckily I've never had a complaint since and have asked if I do pull that face but must of been a one off lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'm quiet, no noise. Which doesn't mean I don't appreciate the sex, I do. But apparently recently I was making noises. must have been the new position I tried.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Im thrusting away, beads of sweat dripping from my brow, gripped in the throes of extacy as we both rush headlong to a tumultuous climax......

"Three down, five letters, begins with P and has an A in the middle. Any ideas love?"

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