FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > acceptable for blokes to suck themselves of?
acceptable for blokes to suck themselves of?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Just had a convoy earlier when was told was OK to suck yourself off and the female in question said if she could lick her own pussy she would do it all the time
See I can suck myself off, can but don't. I don't because guess its seen as weird tend to find. My fellow man in society seems to frown upon such actions and women well had some weird experiences and reactions from them, such as saying I'm gay by sucking my own cock.
I wonder what the community makes of ducking oneself off? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I could suck myself off I don't think I'd ever leave the house! Probably best that I can't do it 
If you happen to have this super power then fill yer boots, not sure what it's got to do with anyone else. You wouldn't ask someone else for permission to masturbate so no need to for this imho. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Try this, its what I tried first time tried it. (Although can just do it from sitting now)
When u'd hard
Lay on your back
Open your legs wide
Now flip your legs over your head so your feet rest on the floor
Now using one hand hold your cock up way
Lean forward with your head
Chances are you will be able to kiss your own cockor even stick it bit in yyour mouth
Keep pushing in a rocking motion if after few weeks should be able to sucl yourself off.
Please no one blame me for injured backs lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Try this, its what I tried first time tried it. (Although can just do it from sitting now)
When u'd hard
Lay on your back
Open your legs wide
Now flip your legs over your head so your feet rest on the floor
Now using one hand hold your cock up way
Lean forward with your head
Chances are you will be able to kiss your own cockor even stick it bit in yyour mouth
Keep pushing in a rocking motion if after few weeks should be able to sucl yourself off.
Please no one blame me for injured backs lol"
I have an image in my head of naked men frantically rocking on their backs like stranded turtles in the effort to suck themselves now  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"If I could suck myself off I don't think I'd ever leave the house! Probably best that I can't do it
If you happen to have this super power then fill yer boots, not sure what it's got to do with anyone else. You wouldn't ask someone else for permission to masturbate so no need to for this imho."
Yeah bud your right. Its only that my ex gave me all this crap about it. That when do that means am gay. I told her so gay wank...she said no..buy said its not right guys sucking themselves off...looking back on it I wonder if she was just worried she had lost her position as chief bj'er haha |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Try this, its what I tried first time tried it. (Although can just do it from sitting now)
When u'd hard
Lay on your back
Open your legs wide
Now flip your legs over your head so your feet rest on the floor
Now using one hand hold your cock up way
Lean forward with your head
Chances are you will be able to kiss your own cockor even stick it bit in yyour mouth
Keep pushing in a rocking motion if after few weeks should be able to sucl yourself off.
Please no one blame me for injured backs lol
I have an image in my head of naked men frantically rocking on their backs like stranded turtles in the effort to suck themselves now "
Haha yeah then many a&he's full of blokes with injured backs haha |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
I wonder what the community makes of ducking oneself off?
Ducking oneself off? You must be quackers."
Haha meant sucking, its a touch screen for you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Try this, its what I tried first time tried it. (Although can just do it from sitting now)
When u'd hard
Lay on your back
Open your legs wide
Now flip your legs over your head so your feet rest on the floor
Now using one hand hold your cock up way
Lean forward with your head
Chances are you will be able to kiss your own cockor even stick it bit in yyour mouth
Keep pushing in a rocking motion if after few weeks should be able to sucl yourself off.
Please no one blame me for injured backs lol
I have an image in my head of naked men frantically rocking on their backs like stranded turtles in the effort to suck themselves now "
Me too, can't stop laughing  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just had a convoy earlier when was told was OK to suck yourself off and the female in question said if she could lick her own pussy she would do it all the time
See I can suck myself off, can but don't. I don't because guess its seen as weird tend to find. My fellow man in society seems to frown upon such actions and women well had some weird experiences and reactions from them, such as saying I'm gay by sucking my own cock.
I wonder what the community makes of ducking oneself off?"
Wouldn't do it at a meet. Others may feel superfluous  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Another way of doing it is to do a headstand on a chair with your legs up the wall then flip your legs over the back of your head.
 "
That sounds like a broken back when the chair slips away. No doubt that one would work to risky besides |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"slow down, I'm trying to take notes "
Haha I've stuck basic instructions up few messages back
Don't blame me if you hurt u'd back though or never leave the house again as some bloke said haha |
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"Another way of doing it is to do a headstand on a chair with your legs up the wall then flip your legs over the back of your head.
That sounds like a broken back when the chair slips away. No doubt that one would work to risky besides"
im worried about the health and safety aspect of this one  and how would you explain that one to the paramedics when it all goes horribly wrong lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
". okay okay I've got there but its jammed in .how do i get it out..hurry i cant fuking move"
stay there dont panic ive called the fire brigade and told them to bring those big bolt cutter thingys  |
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". okay okay I've got there but its jammed in .how do i get it out..hurry i cant fuking move
stay there dont panic ive called the fire brigade and told them to bring those big bolt cutter thingys "
pmsl I nearly choked on my tea at this lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just had a convoy earlier when was told was OK to suck yourself off and the female in question said if she could lick her own pussy she would do it all the time
See I can suck myself off, can but don't. I don't because guess its seen as weird tend to find. My fellow man in society seems to frown upon such actions and women well had some weird experiences and reactions from them, such as saying I'm gay by sucking my own cock.
I wonder what the community makes of ducking oneself off?"
I wish I could, lucky you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's your mouth and your cock, if you want to self suck and enjoy it, do it.
Do you ask permission before having a wank or others if it's acceptable? "
Do whatever you like. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
". okay okay I've got there but its jammed in .how do i get it out..hurry i cant fuking move
stay there dont panic ive called the fire brigade and told them to bring those big bolt cutter thingys
pmsl I nearly choked on my tea at this lol "
tut tut have some sympathy you! Im sure the fire brigade would not laugh at a grown naked man rocking backwards and forwards like a stranded turtle with his tackle stuck between his teeth |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Another way of doing it is to do a headstand on a chair with your legs up the wall then flip your legs over the back of your head.
That sounds like a broken back when the chair slips away. No doubt that one would work to risky besides
im worried about the health and safety aspect of this one and how would you explain that one to the paramedics when it all goes horribly wrong lol"
I'm still trying to work out how a guy can get his cock in his mouth if he flips his legs over the back of his head, isn't it anatomically impossible, he'd surely have to bring his legs forwards over his shoulders for his cock to be within reaching distance of his mouth?! Maybe I'm just overthinking it and to be honest I'm not sure why Im thinking about it at all! |
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". okay okay I've got there but its jammed in .how do i get it out..hurry i cant fuking move
stay there dont panic ive called the fire brigade and told them to bring those big bolt cutter thingys
pmsl I nearly choked on my tea at this lol
tut tut have some sympathy you! Im sure the fire brigade would not laugh at a grown naked man rocking backwards and forwards like a stranded turtle with his tackle stuck between his teeth "
I can tell you right now they'd be taking bloody photo's not just laughing I used to be a fireman |
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"Another way of doing it is to do a headstand on a chair with your legs up the wall then flip your legs over the back of your head.
That sounds like a broken back when the chair slips away. No doubt that one would work to risky besides"
I ment an armchair or a sofa
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
". okay okay I've got there but its jammed in .how do i get it out..hurry i cant fuking move
stay there dont panic ive called the fire brigade and told them to bring those big bolt cutter thingys
pmsl I nearly choked on my tea at this lol
tut tut have some sympathy you! Im sure the fire brigade would not laugh at a grown naked man rocking backwards and forwards like a stranded turtle with his tackle stuck between his teeth
I can tell you right now they'd be taking bloody photo's not just laughing I used to be a fireman "
then I take off my hat to you as the fire brigade saved our house 4 years ago when we had a bad fire..I will be eternally grateful to them and still take cakes and buns to the station every year with our little un to thank them |
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". okay okay I've got there but its jammed in .how do i get it out..hurry i cant fuking move
stay there dont panic ive called the fire brigade and told them to bring those big bolt cutter thingys
pmsl I nearly choked on my tea at this lol
tut tut have some sympathy you! Im sure the fire brigade would not laugh at a grown naked man rocking backwards and forwards like a stranded turtle with his tackle stuck between his teeth
I can tell you right now they'd be taking bloody photo's not just laughing I used to be a fireman
then I take off my hat to you as the fire brigade saved our house 4 years ago when we had a bad fire..I will be eternally grateful to them and still take cakes and buns to the station every year with our little un to thank them "
and on behalf of all my ex firefighting bretherin we appreciate the show of gratitude, but for gods sake dont get stuck in embarrassing situations especially not naked because firefighters dine out on them lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
". okay okay I've got there but its jammed in .how do i get it out..hurry i cant fuking move
stay there dont panic ive called the fire brigade and told them to bring those big bolt cutter thingys
pmsl I nearly choked on my tea at this lol
tut tut have some sympathy you! Im sure the fire brigade would not laugh at a grown naked man rocking backwards and forwards like a stranded turtle with his tackle stuck between his teeth
I can tell you right now they'd be taking bloody photo's not just laughing I used to be a fireman
then I take off my hat to you as the fire brigade saved our house 4 years ago when we had a bad fire..I will be eternally grateful to them and still take cakes and buns to the station every year with our little un to thank them
and on behalf of all my ex firefighting bretherin we appreciate the show of gratitude, but for gods sake dont get stuck in embarrassing situations especially not naked because firefighters dine out on them lol "
if I get naked firemen will 'dine out on me'?!? *runs to dial 999* |
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". okay okay I've got there but its jammed in .how do i get it out..hurry i cant fuking move
stay there dont panic ive called the fire brigade and told them to bring those big bolt cutter thingys
pmsl I nearly choked on my tea at this lol
tut tut have some sympathy you! Im sure the fire brigade would not laugh at a grown naked man rocking backwards and forwards like a stranded turtle with his tackle stuck between his teeth
I can tell you right now they'd be taking bloody photo's not just laughing I used to be a fireman
then I take off my hat to you as the fire brigade saved our house 4 years ago when we had a bad fire..I will be eternally grateful to them and still take cakes and buns to the station every year with our little un to thank them
and on behalf of all my ex firefighting bretherin we appreciate the show of gratitude, but for gods sake dont get stuck in embarrassing situations especially not naked because firefighters dine out on them lol
if I get naked firemen will 'dine out on me'?!? *runs to dial 999*"
nee naa nee naa what was the address ? On our way lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Try this, its what I tried first time tried it. (Although can just do it from sitting now)
When u'd hard
Lay on your back
Open your legs wide
Now flip your legs over your head so your feet rest on the floor
Now using one hand hold your cock up way
Lean forward with your head
Chances are you will be able to kiss your own cockor even stick it bit in yyour mouth
Keep pushing in a rocking motion if after few weeks should be able to sucl yourself off.
Please no one blame me for injured backs lol
I have an image in my head of naked men frantically rocking on their backs like stranded turtles in the effort to suck themselves now
Me too, can't stop laughing "
I only got to the third stage |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"My question is.....can I watch?  "
Perhaps so.
Have twice shared my cock in a two way bj, that's my cock between my mouth and a females mouth, kinda in mine then in hers, our lips touching with helmet between us, was very erotic and sexy but boy did we do some laughing. So perhaps you could join in after you've had a watch |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My question is.....can I watch?
Perhaps so.
Have twice shared my cock in a two way bj, that's my cock between my mouth and a females mouth, kinda in mine then in hers, our lips touching with helmet between us, was very erotic and sexy but boy did we do some laughing. So perhaps you could join in after you've had a watch "
I would probably laugh a bit too. It does sound erotically funny |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"My question is.....can I watch?
Perhaps so.
Have twice shared my cock in a two way bj, that's my cock between my mouth and a females mouth, kinda in mine then in hers, our lips touching with helmet between us, was very erotic and sexy but boy did we do some laughing. So perhaps you could join in after you've had a watch
I would probably laugh a bit too. It does sound erotically funny "
Yeah have laughed every time, is hard not to when the person your with laughs, its a funny erotic experience and one I often recall in the wank bank of memories |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
". okay okay I've got there but its jammed in .how do i get it out..hurry i cant fuking move
stay there dont panic ive called the fire brigade and told them to bring those big bolt cutter thingys
pmsl I nearly choked on my tea at this lol
tut tut have some sympathy you! Im sure the fire brigade would not laugh at a grown naked man rocking backwards and forwards like a stranded turtle with his tackle stuck between his teeth
I can tell you right now they'd be taking bloody photo's not just laughing I used to be a fireman
then I take off my hat to you as the fire brigade saved our house 4 years ago when we had a bad fire..I will be eternally grateful to them and still take cakes and buns to the station every year with our little un to thank them
and on behalf of all my ex firefighting bretherin we appreciate the show of gratitude, but for gods sake dont get stuck in embarrassing situations especially not naked because firefighters dine out on them lol
if I get naked firemen will 'dine out on me'?!? *runs to dial 999*
nee naa nee naa what was the address ? On our way lol "
lol hang on...I havent got my buns out yet |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"How funny these comments. I think you should indulge us with a photo of how you can reach"
Kinda need someone to take one for me. Have tried to take self doing it before ain't easy. Is that an offer to take pics for me |
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". okay okay I've got there but its jammed in .how do i get it out..hurry i cant fuking move
stay there dont panic ive called the fire brigade and told them to bring those big bolt cutter thingys
pmsl I nearly choked on my tea at this lol
tut tut have some sympathy you! Im sure the fire brigade would not laugh at a grown naked man rocking backwards and forwards like a stranded turtle with his tackle stuck between his teeth
I can tell you right now they'd be taking bloody photo's not just laughing I used to be a fireman
then I take off my hat to you as the fire brigade saved our house 4 years ago when we had a bad fire..I will be eternally grateful to them and still take cakes and buns to the station every year with our little un to thank them
and on behalf of all my ex firefighting bretherin we appreciate the show of gratitude, but for gods sake dont get stuck in embarrassing situations especially not naked because firefighters dine out on them lol
if I get naked firemen will 'dine out on me'?!? *runs to dial 999*
nee naa nee naa what was the address ? On our way lol
lol hang on...I havent got my buns out yet "
mame thats not a problem we can do that for you |
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". okay okay I've got there but its jammed in .how do i get it out..hurry i cant fuking move"
ha ha very fuking funny,Thats 3hours and im still wedged in the bath piss all over me cause i couldn't hold it in and my foreskin is stuck between my front 2teeth..heEELPp  |
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"Try this, its what I tried first time tried it. (Although can just do it from sitting now)
When u'd hard
Lay on your back
Open your legs wide
Now flip your legs over your head so your feet rest on the floor
Now using one hand hold your cock up way
Lean forward with your head
Chances are you will be able to kiss your own cockor even stick it bit in yyour mouth
Keep pushing in a rocking motion if after few weeks should be able to sucl yourself off.
Please no one blame me for injured backs lol"
Video or it didn't happen. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Ok I'll admit it, I used to be able to do it in my teens through 30's. It really confused me as to it's appropriateness but I eventually didn't care. It felt great. I can't try it any more as I have had major back surgery and my belly is too big lol !! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Try this, its what I tried first time tried it. (Although can just do it from sitting now)
When u'd hard
Lay on your back
Open your legs wide
Now flip your legs over your head so your feet rest on the floor
Now using one hand hold your cock up way
Lean forward with your head
Chances are you will be able to kiss your own cockor even stick it bit in yyour mouth
Keep pushing in a rocking motion if after few weeks should be able to sucl yourself off.
Please no one blame me for injured backs lol"
Please............at my age, I can't even get past Stage 3 of all that! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Another way of doing it is to do a headstand on a chair with your legs up the wall then flip your legs over the back of your head.
"
I tried that the other day. Went through the window and ended up lying in the road in front of a milk float. Got arrested for gross indecency in front of a milk float |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
If I could suck myself off 2 things would happen.
1, I'd stay in bed all day sucking myself off.
2, I'd starve to death because I'd too busy with number 1 to eat.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Try this, its what I tried first time tried it. (Although can just do it from sitting now)
When u'd hard
Lay on your back
Open your legs wide
Now flip your legs over your head so your feet rest on the floor
Now using one hand hold your cock up way
Lean forward with your head
Chances are you will be able to kiss your own cockor even stick it bit in yyour mouth
Keep pushing in a rocking motion if after few weeks should be able to sucl yourself off.
Please no one blame me for injured backs lol
Please............at my age, I can't even get past Stage 3 of all that! "
Funny but if your serious try a spread bar on your ankles as you fill legs over, hang your arms if can over thighs and push down. This will either work for you or the fire brigade will be needed again haha |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"If you could suck your own cock, wouldn't it be like trying to tickle yourself?"
No why would be any different than having a wank. And I don't agree with science anyway with regards to not being able to tickle yourself. I think depends upon how one defines a tickle...the simple soft touch...finger rolling over skin, air temperature, other factors, think its easy to tickle oneself |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I bet thats the only reason blokes ever take up yoga...."
Yoga is peace of the mind, however does help with being flexible, but long term lot of yoga will end up with bad joints unless done along with great diet etc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Try this, its what I tried first time tried it. (Although can just do it from sitting now)
When u'd hard
Lay on your back
Open your legs wide
Now flip your legs over your head so your feet rest on the floor
Now using one hand hold your cock up way
Lean forward with your head
Chances are you will be able to kiss your own cockor even stick it bit in yyour mouth
Keep pushing in a rocking motion if after few weeks should be able to sucl yourself off.
Please no one blame me for injured backs lol"
Ok, I got onto my back, but wasn't sure which way to spread my legs?
I flipped then over my head but I got my foot caught in the curtains.
I'm currently trapped on the window sill with a curtain over my head, my cock up my nose and my bollocks are trapped in the pelmet.
Can someone tell me what the next stage is please? |
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Flexibility, as any yoga practitioner knows, increases with practise. So guys who cant do it today, keep at it! There are other positions for it, including a seated position, where head lowers down. And just as with any new muscle work, just do a little to start with, to prevent strains and aches after. A good rub down after may help, and nurse Sophie can ease your strain too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Blimey it takes me all my effort to tie my laces let alone nosh my own cock off!
"
this whole thread has some hilarious comments. OP you go for it seeing as you can. Who cares what anyone else thinks Thanks for the thread though, I needed cheering up |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
"Try this, its what I tried first time tried it. (Although can just do it from sitting now)
When u'd hard
Lay on your back
Open your legs wide
Now flip your legs over your head so your feet rest on the floor
Now using one hand hold your cock up way
Lean forward with your head
Chances are you will be able to kiss your own cockor even stick it bit in yyour mouth
Keep pushing in a rocking motion if after few weeks should be able to sucl yourself off.
Please no one blame me for injured backs lol"
Were these instructions given to you by a contortionist or out of necessity you developed them yourself, I think I ll leave it to the ladies,
On another upside,,, feck it s the only time my wife is quiet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
No need to be ashamed of sucking yourself off.I did it from 16 yrs of age regularly and loved it.Alas I started putting weight on and my belly got in the way,happy days.I once did it with another bloke who could do it as well,its a big turn on watching it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Try this, its what I tried first time tried it. (Although can just do it from sitting now)
When u'd hard
Lay on your back
Open your legs wide
Now flip your legs over your head so your feet rest on the floor
Now using one hand hold your cock up way
Lean forward with your head
Chances are you will be able to kiss your own cockor even stick it bit in yyour mouth
Keep pushing in a rocking motion if after few weeks should be able to sucl yourself off.
Please no one blame me for injured backs lol
Were these instructions given to you by a contortionist or out of necessity you developed them yourself, I think I ll leave it to the ladies,
On another upside,,, feck it s the only time my wife is quiet "
Wife quiet says the man with single guy on hes profile |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It's never acceptable for a bloke to suck himself off. Not in Mc Donald's, not in Poundstretcher, not in his local. It's just wrong"
See you quoted some fine establishments haha
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Use to be able to suck my own cock when I was a lot younger unfortunately I m not as flexible now as I use to be,,,
but enjoyed it at the time and didn't consider it any different than wanking myself off ,,
but must admitt I never told anyone so nice to know I was one of many enjoying that pleasure !
,,,,,,,,,, Must start going to those yoga classes ! Lol ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
". okay okay I've got there but its jammed in .how do i get it out..hurry i cant fuking move
stay there dont panic ive called the fire brigade and told them to bring those big bolt cutter thingys
pmsl I nearly choked on my tea at this lol
tut tut have some sympathy you! Im sure the fire brigade would not laugh at a grown naked man rocking backwards and forwards like a stranded turtle with his tackle stuck between his teeth
I can tell you right now they'd be taking bloody photo's not just laughing I used to be a fireman
then I take off my hat to you as the fire brigade saved our house 4 years ago when we had a bad fire..I will be eternally grateful to them and still take cakes and buns to the station every year with our little un to thank them "
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Your not my any chance harry houdini,s great great, grandson are yer he knew out to get out of a tight spot thou you want to get in to one... .. "
You guessed right!
Not....actually funny thing you should bring up Houdini.....he was friends with....I studied up on his friend as he was a very wealthy man....who died...this is a long story haha...cut it short Indiana Jones type quest to find a diamond and gold necklace buried in a tomb.... haha couldn't possibly do it but always thought film.....™
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That's not good. How that happen? You OK now?"
D*unk driver mounted the kerb and knocked me over. Yeah i'm getting there eventually thak you! Especially as the dpctors said I would never walk again! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"That's not good. How that happen? You OK now?
D*unk driver mounted the kerb and knocked me over. Yeah i'm getting there eventually thak you! Especially as the dpctors said I would never walk again! "
That's not good. Sorry to hear that. Well least you survived. Glad your getting there....are advancing in medical science all the time and know that can help first hand. My mate lost his leg coming off a motor bike. At first the false legs all seemed crap. Then few advances in materials and design and hey got a leg better than a real one lol well seems to be many advantages for him in his line of work that a titanium leg will support the weight of a bike car engine.... benefits from a negative for him.
So you still go a bike?
I ain't been on one since an accident. Came off a bike in 3rd world country. Was not a plesent experience in a dirty 3rd world hospital in some back water dive with a black kid screaming the roof down in bed next to you and blood and dirt everywhere. Plus guy wanted $600 to stop me bleeding and then another $1000 to stitch me up...what choice did have...nightmare was lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I did it loads of times when I was younger and could lie on my back up against the wall and put my legs either side of my head.My mouth could just reach below the bell end.I would say to you try it at least once otherwise you will be wondering for the rest of your life what it would have been like because as you get older your bones start stiffening up and its impossible to do it.Wish I could still do it now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just had a convoy earlier when was told was OK to suck yourself off and the female in question said if she could lick her own pussy she would do it all the time
See I can suck myself off, can but don't. I don't because guess its seen as weird tend to find. My fellow man in society seems to frown upon such actions and women well had some weird experiences and reactions from them, such as saying I'm gay by sucking my own cock.
I wonder what the community makes of ducking oneself off?"
I think impressive that you are so flexible but not to the point I would want to watch. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i remember i read about a guy once who had surgery to remove ribs just so he'd be able to reach, afterwards stating I don't need any women now. "
Well hes just siling down then!! Basically a fucking idiot!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i remember i read about a guy once who had surgery to remove ribs just so he'd be able to reach, afterwards stating I don't need any women now. "
That's really extreme  |
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". okay okay I've got there but its jammed in .how do i get it out..hurry i cant fuking move
stay there dont panic ive called the fire brigade and told them to bring those big bolt cutter thingys
pmsl I nearly choked on my tea at this lol
tut tut have some sympathy you! Im sure the fire brigade would not laugh at a grown naked man rocking backwards and forwards like a stranded turtle with his tackle stuck between his teeth
I can tell you right now they'd be taking bloody photo's not just laughing I used to be a fireman "
That sounds like the wall of shame we had in A and E for all the xrays of things found in rectums... The beer bottle went to theatre |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's never acceptable for a bloke to suck himself off. Not in Mc Donald's, not in Poundstretcher, not in his local. It's just wrong
See you quoted some fine establishments haha
"
Currently on a ban from all of them. I blame you for putting ideas into my head |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What the hell did we do before the Internet lmao
Q WHY DOES A DOG LICK HIS BALLS
A BECAUSE HE CAN "
That reminds me of my dad telling me why dogs sniff each other's bums.
Apparently there was a massive dog party years ago but the dogs had to hang their bums up at the entrance before going in.
Well apparently there was a big fire and all of the dogs ran out, grabbing any old bum at the exit.
Ever since they've been trying to sort out whose bum is whose, hence the whole sniffing thing.
True story |
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"Just had a convoy earlier when was told was OK to suck yourself off and the female in question said if she could lick her own pussy she would do it all the time
See I can suck myself off, can but don't. I don't because guess its seen as weird tend to find. My fellow man in society seems to frown upon such actions and women well had some weird experiences and reactions from them, such as saying I'm gay by sucking my own cock.
I wonder what the community makes of ducking oneself off?"
Deffo Ghey!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just had a convoy earlier when was told was OK to suck yourself off and the female in question said if she could lick her own pussy she would do it all the time
See I can suck myself off, can but don't. I don't because guess its seen as weird tend to find. My fellow man in society seems to frown upon such actions and women well had some weird experiences and reactions from them, such as saying I'm gay by sucking my own cock.
I wonder what the community makes of ducking oneself off?"
If you swallow, does it get recycled? |
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"What the hell did we do before the Internet lmao
Q WHY DOES A DOG LICK HIS BALLS
A BECAUSE HE CAN
That reminds me of my dad telling me why dogs sniff each other's bums.
Apparently there was a massive dog party years ago but the dogs had to hang their bums up at the entrance before going in.
Well apparently there was a big fire and all of the dogs ran out, grabbing any old bum at the exit.
Ever since they've been trying to sort out whose bum is whose, hence the whole sniffing thing.
True story"
Lmfao maybe that is what my sub suffers from |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What the hell did we do before the Internet lmao
Q WHY DOES A DOG LICK HIS BALLS
A BECAUSE HE CAN
That reminds me of my dad telling me why dogs sniff each other's bums.
Apparently there was a massive dog party years ago but the dogs had to hang their bums up at the entrance before going in.
Well apparently there was a big fire and all of the dogs ran out, grabbing any old bum at the exit.
Ever since they've been trying to sort out whose bum is whose, hence the whole sniffing thing.
True story"
Thats a well funny story...made me really laugh. Great stuff!
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"Just had a convoy earlier when was told was OK to suck yourself off and the female in question said if she could lick her own pussy she would do it all the time
See I can suck myself off, can but don't. I don't because guess its seen as weird tend to find. My fellow man in society seems to frown upon such actions and women well had some weird experiences and reactions from them, such as saying I'm gay by sucking my own cock.
I wonder what the community makes of ducking oneself off?"
I can't be arsed to read the entire thread, but I'm probably going to basically say the same as a lot of men. I'd have a lot more money, have been out less often snd been bloody good at it by now. Hell I know I'm good at it, 've been told so and I do swallow |
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By *r Man.Man
over a year ago
London |
"Its like the old joke...why do dogs lick their bollocks ?.......cos they can "
I was in a pub a few years ago, a woman was lambasting a man and calling him a dog.
His reply was 'if men were dogs, we wouldn't need woman to lick our balls for us'
I think that says it all lol. |
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