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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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This is a mews as much as anything else and sort of follows on from another thread.
Right what do you see as the role of the fb?
I have had many fbs over the years and have always approached the situation with the same view.
A fuck bud should not do jealous. I've always openly encouraged my fbs to sleep with other men (mainly because this turns me right on). You should live your separate lives. A friendship is allowed as long as the lines are never blurred.
Now my mates (the ones who don't know about my swinging) think im mad.
So what's your view on the role of a fb x |
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Me and mrs S were talking about this the other day . In theory its as you say no jealousy ,separate lives , friendship blah blah blah .in reality it never stays like that for long usually because someone gets too emotionally evolved ,at least in my experience. And iv never met anyone who's had a long term fb .but thats not to say there arent thoughs that have. |
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I agree with the OP, no jealousy, encourage her to have sex with other men, NSA sex when agreed but I do little or no contact between times. No blurred lines here - we both agreed what the arrangement would be.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Me and mrs S were talking about this the other day . In theory its as you say no jealousy ,separate lives , friendship blah blah blah .in reality it never stays like that for long usually because someone gets too emotionally evolved ,at least in my experience. And iv never met anyone who's had a long term fb .but thats not to say there arent thoughs that have."
exactly what happened to us, though we went fuck it and married rather than split. Been married 10 years now, and i still love her more than anything(our kids are the exception to that).
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What would you define as ' blurring of lines ' tho? It is a tricky one. As time goes on you learn more about each other so lines can be blurred. What's the longest anyone has had a successful fb arrangement for? Mine is 18 months and ongoing. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Me and mrs S were talking about this the other day . In theory its as you say no jealousy ,separate lives , friendship blah blah blah .in reality it never stays like that for long usually because someone gets too emotionally evolved ,at least in my experience. And iv never met anyone who's had a long term fb .but thats not to say there arent thoughs that have."
Just managed 8 years if that counts as long term. We've taken breaks and had a couple of fall outs though, but we do get on fine most of the time.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Me and mrs S were talking about this the other day . In theory its as you say no jealousy ,separate lives , friendship blah blah blah .in reality it never stays like that for long usually because someone gets too emotionally evolved ,at least in my experience. And iv never met anyone who's had a long term fb .but thats not to say there arent thoughs that have.
Just managed 8 years if that counts as long term. We've taken breaks and had a couple of fall outs though, but we do get on fine most of the time. "
I'd say that classes as long term lol. In fact probably longer than some marriages. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I prefer occasional contact through text, just to keep in touch and say hi. Pointless being jealous, it is what it is. I also like to make it clear that I'm not there to offer emotional support if their life is going tits up and likewise for them. Neither of us owe each other anything and what I do when I'm not with them is none of their business and I prefer to have no knowledge of what they get up to either.
Simples really. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had the same FB for 15 years we've both married in that time he's my best friend and we respect each other's private lives completely  "
15 years! Wow. Just a question and please don't think I am judging because I am not - what is the difference between a FB, FWB and an affair? |
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"I've had the same FB for 15 years we've both married in that time he's my best friend and we respect each other's private lives completely
15 years! Wow. Just a question and please don't think I am judging because I am not - what is the difference between a FB, FWB and an affair? "
again not jugding but a very good question. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We want different things in life we have both met and married our partners in that time but sex is just too good to give up.... I guess an affair is somebody you meet after your married that wasn't the case for us
We are both happy with our lives and it's always been NSA an affair usually ends in somebody getting hurt |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We want different things in life we have both met and married our partners in that time but sex is just too good to give up.... I guess an affair is somebody you meet after your married that wasn't the case for us
We are both happy with our lives and it's always been NSA an affair usually ends in somebody getting hurt"
Thanks for your honest answer. I often think how I'd feel if my fwb got married. Suppose things don't always have to change if you both still want to carry on. (Tho I still don't know how id feel lol) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think it depends on the individual it works for us
Live and let live"
I'd say that's probably the way I live my sex life. I honestly try not to judge anybody as I think that goes against the very essence of swinging. |
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"We want different things in life we have both met and married our partners in that time but sex is just too good to give up.... I guess an affair is somebody you meet after your married that wasn't the case for us
We are both happy with our lives and it's always been NSA an affair usually ends in somebody getting hurt"
good for you guys , if it ain't broke dont fix it |
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By *razedcatMan
over a year ago
London / Herts |
I think there's implicit agreement that FWB/fuck buddy situations are always temporary, one way or another. Either people get bored of a purely sexual relationship and seek someone with whom they can create an emotional bond, or they end up developing feelings for the fuck buddy.
I'm just working on assumptions though, never been in that situation  |
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» Add a new message to this topic
it's hard not to blur the lines sometimes, someone mentioned it best above about having little to know no contact in between, but even that doesn't always work... 