FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > What puts you off??
What puts you off??
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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You have exchanged a few emails and photos and things seem to be going well and a meet looks likely, however what things have people done or said that has stopped you meeting them?? |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
I am usually put off at the first message. You can pretty well tell if there is a spark before you reply. I usually do reply with something to say provoke or add a little whit, though IF they message back or it it is just as bland, I will ease out |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just been chatting to a couple who after a few messages asked if I was into bareback ........... put me off in a nano second"
I think that would put most people off, I get put off recently by a woman who said she couldn't meet for at least 3 weeks as she was 'fully booked up' , cringeworthy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Non responsive chat.
They message you first or send you a wink & you reply with something simple like "Hey, how's you?" & you get nothing back.
That & bad grammar. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just been chatting to a couple who after a few messages asked if I was into bareback ........... put me off in a nano second"
I had a couple ask if they could take bare back pics I said no. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just been chatting to a couple who after a few messages asked if I was into bareback ........... put me off in a nano second
I think that would put most people off, I get put off recently by a woman who said she couldn't meet for at least 3 weeks as she was 'fully booked up' , cringeworthy "
She might have meant with real life |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just been chatting to a couple who after a few messages asked if I was into bareback ........... put me off in a nano second
I think that would put most people off, I get put off recently by a woman who said she couldn't meet for at least 3 weeks as she was 'fully booked up' , cringeworthy
She might have meant with real life "
She didn't, as she explained if one of her guys couldn't make it she would have a 'free slot' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just been chatting to a couple who after a few messages asked if I was into bareback ........... put me off in a nano second
I think that would put most people off, I get put off recently by a woman who said she couldn't meet for at least 3 weeks as she was 'fully booked up' , cringeworthy
She might have meant with real life "
I use that expression as my play visits usually consist of just a few days... And I erm... Get booked up quite quickly....   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Text language...bad grammar. Asking too much detail..... Had a guy saying : oh maybe you should move to another city as you spend a lot of time out there...blocked him.. Jealousy puts me off. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just been chatting to a couple who after a few messages asked if I was into bareback ........... put me off in a nano second
I think that would put most people off, I get put off recently by a woman who said she couldn't meet for at least 3 weeks as she was 'fully booked up' , cringeworthy
She might have meant with real life
She didn't, as she explained if one of her guys couldn't make it she would have a 'free slot'"
What you prefer she said? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Non responsive chat.
They message you first or send you a wink & you reply with something simple like "Hey, how's you?" & you get nothing back.
That & bad grammar."
Maybe you need to try a slightly more original response to their message?!! Most women get inundated with "Hey, how's you?" - imagine if you had to answer that multiple times every day - tedious? That's why most don't reply |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just been chatting to a couple who after a few messages asked if I was into bareback ........... put me off in a nano second
I think that would put most people off, I get put off recently by a woman who said she couldn't meet for at least 3 weeks as she was 'fully booked up' , cringeworthy
She might have meant with real life
I use that expression as my play visits usually consist of just a few days... And I erm... Get booked up quite quickly.... "
Well that sounds cringeworthy to me, your a person not a hotel  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Non responsive chat.
They message you first or send you a wink & you reply with something simple like "Hey, how's you?" & you get nothing back.
That & bad grammar.
Maybe you need to try a slightly more original response to their message?!! Most women get inundated with "Hey, how's you?" - imagine if you had to answer that multiple times every day - tedious? That's why most don't reply"
Obviously you add abit more, it was just a general example. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Non responsive chat.
They message you first or send you a wink & you reply with something simple like "Hey, how's you?" & you get nothing back.
That & bad grammar.
Maybe you need to try a slightly more original response to their message?!! Most women get inundated with "Hey, how's you?" - imagine if you had to answer that multiple times every day - Hi, how are you finding things on here? Have you been inundated with messages?
tedious? That's why most don't reply"
Your missing the point, his reply was in response to a wink or an initial message |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pushiness
How would you describe pushiness, it seems like a subjective term"
Pushing for a meet even if i've explained im busy for a few weeks,constant when are you free messages,if you're out at the weekend can I join you? that sort of thing,I don't play often and I tell people that from the very start
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Non responsive chat.
They message you first or send you a wink & you reply with something simple like "Hey, how's you?" & you get nothing back.
That & bad grammar.
Maybe you need to try a slightly more original response to their message?!! Most women get inundated with "Hey, how's you?" - imagine if you had to answer that multiple times every day - Hi, how are you finding things on here? Have you been inundated with messages?
tedious? That's why most don't reply
Your missing the point, his reply was in response to a wink or an initial message"
Exactly! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just been chatting to a couple who after a few messages asked if I was into bareback ........... put me off in a nano second
I think that would put most people off, I get put off recently by a woman who said she couldn't meet for at least 3 weeks as she was 'fully booked up' , cringeworthy
She might have meant with real life
She didn't, as she explained if one of her guys couldn't make it she would have a 'free slot'
What you prefer she said?"
She is busy, would you be put off if a bloke on here said he could 'fit you in' sometime?? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Pushiness
How would you describe pushiness, it seems like a subjective term
Pushing for a meet even if i've explained im busy for a few weeks,constant when are you free messages,if you're out at the weekend can I join you? that sort of thing,I don't play often and I tell people that from the very start
"
That's fair enough, if they don't take the hint then it's pointless continuing the conversation |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pushiness
How would you describe pushiness, it seems like a subjective term
Pushing for a meet even if i've explained im busy for a few weeks,constant when are you free messages,if you're out at the weekend can I join you? that sort of thing,I don't play often and I tell people that from the very start
"
I agree, we have families or work, but we look at it now if they can't compromise with some patience, they are not wiry meeting
Her |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Non responsive chat.
They message you first or send you a wink & you reply with something simple like "Hey, how's you?" & you get nothing back.
That & bad grammar.
Maybe you need to try a slightly more original response to their message?!! Most women get inundated with "Hey, how's you?" - imagine if you had to answer that multiple times every day - Hi, how are you finding things on here? Have you been inundated with messages?
tedious? That's why most don't reply
Your missing the point, his reply was in response to a wink or an initial message"
Thank you so much for correcting me, I wasnt aware you could read my mind!
As it happens I didn't miss "his" point at all, I was simply offering an opinion that it gets very wearing replying to "hi how's you", it makes no difference whether it is an initial message or a response to one.
However, as the writer of the post I responded to has himself offered further explanation of his meaning I think we can leave it there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi how's you is so infuriating or what you up to , then they expect you to tell them all your life story what you into and what's ur fantasy etc but u only get hi how's you can't be arsed with people who won't put no effort in , or scruffy fabbers you know through there pics mostly have washing on the radiators well if there can't be bothered to take a nice pic they not going to be bothered with cleanliness  |
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Requests for bareback
Constantly asking when we are meeting when I have said I don't know yet
Had a lot lately where I think we are getting on great then he springs it on me that he wants a female friend of his to join us so we can put on a show for him! Usually respond saying I can find my own ladies and am not a performing seal  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There us a fine line between being polite and interested and witty or being overly interested, pushy and asking too many questions... Its so hard to get it right but have,to say you do get a sense of ppl by chatting and a lot of them are nice!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pushiness
How would you describe pushiness, it seems like a subjective term
Pushing for a meet even if i've explained im busy for a few weeks,constant when are you free messages,if you're out at the weekend can I join you? that sort of thing,I don't play often and I tell people that from the very start
"
This 
And lovey dovey clingy stuff before I have met them.
Statements like 'yes I know it's a social but how far can we go if you like me, can I finger you etc....'
Just general desperation really |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Requests for bareback
Constantly asking when we are meeting when I have said I don't know yet
Had a lot lately where I think we are getting on great then he springs it on me that he wants a female friend of his to join us so we can put on a show for him! Usually respond saying I can find my own ladies and am not a performing seal "
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Non responsive chat.
They message you first or send you a wink & you reply with something simple like "Hey, how's you?" & you get nothing back.
That & bad grammar.
Maybe you need to try a slightly more original response to their message?!! Most women get inundated with "Hey, how's you?" - imagine if you had to answer that multiple times every day - Hi, how are you finding things on here? Have you been inundated with messages?
tedious? That's why most don't reply
Your missing the point, his reply was in response to a wink or an initial message
Thank you so much for correcting me, I wasnt aware you could read my mind!
As it happens I didn't miss "his" point at all, I was simply offering an opinion that it gets very wearing replying to "hi how's you", it makes no difference whether it is an initial message or a response to one.
However, as the writer of the post I responded to has himself offered further explanation of his meaning I think we can leave it there."
I see, and what makes you think your more worthy of a simple 'hi how are you reply' , if someone is lazy enough to just wink I think I basic reply is suffice |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"They post something in the forums or on their status that shows that they are not really the lovely person that they are pretending to be in their messages..."
Some of the headlines I have read are embarrassing, but like you have suggested they are good for highlighting people to avoid |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we chatted to a couple for a while - all looking sounding positive to meet - one comment he made to us in a pm was quite disrespectful and put us off straight away - picky maybe but we only play with whom we want to and respectfulness to one another is way up high on our list |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"They post something in the forums or on their status that shows that they are not really the lovely person that they are pretending to be in their messages..."
and this - seen the 'other' side to a few people via the forums - have also discovered some lovely ones |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't mind a bit of flirting banter, But don't like been asked to describe what I like been done to me sexually, how hard - what position. I think they only want to read and wank over what I've written.
IF they start asking me to go into detail then I stop the messaging, tell them, then block |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't mind a bit of flirting banter, But don't like been asked to describe what I like been done to me sexually, how hard - what position. I think they only want to read and wank over what I've written.
IF they start asking me to go into detail then I stop the messaging, tell them, then block "
being cyber wank fodder is boring as hell |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Non responsive chat.
They message you first or send you a wink & you reply with something simple like "Hey, how's you?" & you get nothing back.
That & bad grammar.
Maybe you need to try a slightly more original response to their message?!! Most women get inundated with "Hey, how's you?" - imagine if you had to answer that multiple times every day - Hi, how are you finding things on here? Have you been inundated with messages?
tedious? That's why most don't reply
Your missing the point, his reply was in response to a wink or an initial message
Thank you so much for correcting me, I wasnt aware you could read my mind!
As it happens I didn't miss "his" point at all, I was simply offering an opinion that it gets very wearing replying to "hi how's you", it makes no difference whether it is an initial message or a response to one.
However, as the writer of the post I responded to has himself offered further explanation of his meaning I think we can leave it there.
I see, and what makes you think your more worthy of a simple 'hi how are you reply' , if someone is lazy enough to just wink I think I basic reply is suffice "
I'm not sure when a friendly "how are you?" became so sinful, isn't that a pretty standard way to be polite and say hello before launching headlong into original scintillating conversation (which by the way is a two way street)
It's as though it's beholden on men to be all things from the very first message, I don't see it that way, I'm looking for something and if I don't put in some effort too, how will I find it?
Therefore even I I get a hi how are you I reply in kind and see if it develops.
Sheesh. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Non responsive chat.
They message you first or send you a wink & you reply with something simple like "Hey, how's you?" & you get nothing back.
That & bad grammar.
Maybe you need to try a slightly more original response to their message?!! Most women get inundated with "Hey, how's you?" - imagine if you had to answer that multiple times every day - Hi, how are you finding things on here? Have you been inundated with messages?
tedious? That's why most don't reply
Your missing the point, his reply was in response to a wink or an initial message
Thank you so much for correcting me, I wasnt aware you could read my mind!
As it happens I didn't miss "his" point at all, I was simply offering an opinion that it gets very wearing replying to "hi how's you", it makes no difference whether it is an initial message or a response to one.
However, as the writer of the post I responded to has himself offered further explanation of his meaning I think we can leave it there.
I see, and what makes you think your more worthy of a simple 'hi how are you reply' , if someone is lazy enough to just wink I think I basic reply is suffice
I'm not sure when a friendly "how are you?" became so sinful, isn't that a pretty standard way to be polite and say hello before launching headlong into original scintillating conversation (which by the way is a two way street)
It's as though it's beholden on men to be all things from the very first message, I don't see it that way, I'm looking for something and if I don't put in some effort too, how will I find it?
Therefore even I I get a hi how are you I reply in kind and see if it develops.
Sheesh."
I agree, certain 'types' people think they are 'above' these types of messages, what do they expect?? It's just an example of the arrogant and deluded way some people start to think on here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just been chatting to a couple who after a few messages asked if I was into bareback ........... put me off in a nano second
I think that would put most people off, I get put off recently by a woman who said she couldn't meet for at least 3 weeks as she was 'fully booked up' , cringeworthy "
see now i've said that before now but i meant with life in general not meaning booked up with fucks so you might of misunderstood possibly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just been chatting to a couple who after a few messages asked if I was into bareback ........... put me off in a nano second
I think that would put most people off, I get put off recently by a woman who said she couldn't meet for at least 3 weeks as she was 'fully booked up' , cringeworthy
She might have meant with real life "
that's what I was thinking !
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just been chatting to a couple who after a few messages asked if I was into bareback ........... put me off in a nano second
I think that would put most people off, I get put off recently by a woman who said she couldn't meet for at least 3 weeks as she was 'fully booked up' , cringeworthy "
are you looking for a monogamous relationship? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just been chatting to a couple who after a few messages asked if I was into bareback ........... put me off in a nano second
I think that would put most people off, I get put off recently by a woman who said she couldn't meet for at least 3 weeks as she was 'fully booked up' , cringeworthy "
I have said similar when I have something planned for one weekend and then I am due on and then I know I will be on for about ten days and then I have to add a couple of days extra to be sure. Maybe she didn't want to gross you out. I wouldn't tell a potential meet that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"can't be arsed with people who won't put no effort in , or scruffy fabbers you know through there pics mostly have washing on the radiators well if there can't be bothered to take a nice pic they not going to be bothered with cleanliness "
What utter rubbish. During the deluge of rain we've had, my rads dry my washing... I don't suddenly stop showering because of it  .
However I don't take pics of my radiators  . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Non responsive chat.
They message you first or send you a wink & you reply with something simple like "Hey, how's you?" & you get nothing back.
That & bad grammar.
Ok... what would u ask??
Maybe you need to try a slightly more original response to their message?!! Most women get inundated with "Hey, how's you?" - imagine if you had to answer that multiple times every day - tedious? That's why most don't reply"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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1) Bad grammar
2) Text speak
3) Disrespect and general bad manners / ignorance.
Probably the same stuff that would put me off meeting a man I met on a regular dating site to be honest.
I like a man who is a gentleman ...at least in public lol...also attracted to intelligence. I find that sexy.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The biggest turn off for us are the 'stalkers'....... You've exchanged a few messages, shared face pics, both happy/keen to arrange a meet......then they start turning up on your 'looked at me' list every half hour, and message constantly asking what you're upto or how your days been!! We like a bit of convo but some people are way too intense on here!!!
Also sometimes people can post ONE new pic which ruins all the others and suddenly you think ewwwww |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"can't be arsed with people who won't put no effort in , or scruffy fabbers you know through there pics mostly have washing on the radiators well if there can't be bothered to take a nice pic they not going to be bothered with cleanliness
What utter rubbish. During the deluge of rain we've had, my rads dry my washing... I don't suddenly stop showering because of it .
However I don't take pics of my radiators ."
i was thinking exactly this! i dry washing on radiators all the time i didn't realise that made me unclean lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"can't be arsed with people who won't put no effort in , or scruffy fabbers you know through there pics mostly have washing on the radiators well if there can't be bothered to take a nice pic they not going to be bothered with cleanliness
What utter rubbish. During the deluge of rain we've had, my rads dry my washing... I don't suddenly stop showering because of it .
However I don't take pics of my radiators .
i was thinking exactly this! i dry washing on radiators all the time i didn't realise that made me unclean lol "
But do we need a photo of it???????? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You have exchanged a few emails and photos and things seem to be going well and a meet looks likely, however what things have people done or said that has stopped you meeting them??"
Quite simply they can not do a Saturday night, or they can only do an hour etc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"can't be arsed with people who won't put no effort in , or scruffy fabbers you know through there pics mostly have washing on the radiators well if there can't be bothered to take a nice pic they not going to be bothered with cleanliness
What utter rubbish. During the deluge of rain we've had, my rads dry my washing... I don't suddenly stop showering because of it .
However I don't take pics of my radiators .
i was thinking exactly this! i dry washing on radiators all the time i didn't realise that made me unclean lol
But do we need a photo of it????????"
nope you don't, atleast i don't think you do! do you? 
none of my pictures have any kind of laundry in |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"getting friend requests out of the blue from people we've not even talked to
Hate this
and getting the message "what are you into ? " if they only took the time to read our profile !!!"
I get this too along with 'what type of bloke do you like' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When you get a message asking when you are free, you tell them and they state a day and time completely different to what you have said
When they send you a text and it's obvious that was meant for someone else |
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"You have exchanged a few emails and photos and things seem to be going well and a meet looks likely, however what things have people done or said that has stopped you meeting them??"
I have to admit being called "Hun" or "honey" does make me pause for thought. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Usually when this has happened, the other party has become too pushy, or over familiar, and are under the impression that they are important on my "to do" list.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"when they get pushy and want an instant reply "
And send you a second message demanding to know why you've not read and replied to their first one, been there  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"when they get pushy and want an instant reply
And send you a second message demanding to know why you've not read and replied to their first one, been there "
Agreed but also the frirnd request without ever speaking to me.... what is that all about! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"when they get pushy and want an instant reply
And send you a second message demanding to know why you've not read and replied to their first one, been there
Agreed but also the frirnd request without ever speaking to me.... what is that all about!"
To perve ones pictures or as I have seen on a few profiles that they do it as its pointless sending messages as no-one replies! The oddest profile I saw a few years ago was the one that said random friendship requesters will be blocked but random friendship requested me |
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