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Why is it that ...........
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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......a good man is hard to find? Or is it a hard man is good to find?
Chatting to some of my girlie fab friends the other day we were all in agreement. 'Why is it so hard to find that perfect FB/FWB arrangement?' We are not talking relationship here ........ no way!! Just good regular sex between consenting adults. We never came to a firm conclusion so what are your thoughts fellow fabsters? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think its something you should look for think it just sort of happens. My ex fb and I just sort if fell into it and it was great for ten months . Good luck I hope you fund what you are looking for. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do think that feelings come into it either one or both panic and end it. I'd would hate to feel one way fondness to then feel it's not mutual I'd be gutted |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think there's anything wrong with being too fussy  As far as I'm concerned, this is my fantasy life and I'm entitled to be as fussy as I like. I certainly wouldn't meet up with anyone I don't fancy just because he 'might' be good fun 
I'm on the lookout for regular friends with benefits and to be honest I'd rather wait and go without than lower my standards! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I was single on here the last thing id want is a fb or fwb,from what I have seen on here its a relationship of sorts and with relationships come compromise,emotions and some sort of ground rules, that would very quickly get right on my tits  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don't think there's anything wrong with being too fussy As far as I'm concerned, this is my fantasy life and I'm entitled to be as fussy as I like. I certainly wouldn't meet up with anyone I don't fancy just because he 'might' be good fun
I'm on the lookout for regular friends with benefits and to be honest I'd rather wait and go without than lower my standards!"
Oh I certainly wouldn't think of lowering standards. If anything I am getting more fussy; which I think is good. Wouldnt settle for mediocre when spectacular maybe out there  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't think there's anything wrong with being too fussy As far as I'm concerned, this is my fantasy life and I'm entitled to be as fussy as I like. I certainly wouldn't meet up with anyone I don't fancy just because he 'might' be good fun
I'm on the lookout for regular friends with benefits and to be honest I'd rather wait and go without than lower my standards!
Oh I certainly wouldn't think of lowering standards. If anything I am getting more fussy; which I think is good. Wouldnt settle for mediocre when spectacular maybe out there "
 my post wasn't aimed at you by the way but I'm getting fussier in my old age too. I just wish the spectacular lived closer  |
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There is nothing wrong with being fussy, particularly when the odds are in your favour
However if you want a FB relationship, ie when you expect the other guy to regularly meet you, and by definition forego other women, then if you do get chatting to that exceptional guy then I'm afraid the women concerned are going to have to be pretty exceptional themselves for that exceptional guy to agree to give up meets with other women |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There is nothing wrong with being fussy, particularly when the odds are in your favour
However if you want a FB relationship, ie when you expect the other guy to regularly meet you, and by definition forego other women, then if you do get chatting to that exceptional guy then I'm afraid the women concerned are going to have to be pretty exceptional themselves for that exceptional guy to agree to give up meets with other women "
Good point!
Some women seem to think that having a fb means they are exclusive and can't see other people. That's a relationship!!!
fb's see other people. No ties. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Am not looking for a quick shag with just anyone, I know what am looking for but if there was a strong sexual connection i would like to do it more then once, It will only get better as you learn what turns her on,
FB over any kind of relationship for me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There is nothing wrong with being fussy, particularly when the odds are in your favour
However if you want a FB relationship, ie when you expect the other guy to regularly meet you, and by definition forego other women, then if you do get chatting to that exceptional guy then I'm afraid the women concerned are going to have to be pretty exceptional themselves for that exceptional guy to agree to give up meets with other women "
which is why I state on my profile that I'd prefer to find friends with benefits rather than a FB. The last thing I'd want or expect is for anyone I meet to give up meeting anyone else |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
" ......a good man is hard to find? Or is it a hard man is good to find?
Chatting to some of my girlie fab friends the other day we were all in agreement. 'Why is it so hard to find that perfect FB/FWB arrangement?' We are not talking relationship here ........ no way!! Just good regular sex between consenting adults. We never came to a firm conclusion so what are your thoughts fellow fabsters? "
is not looking for a man, so I'm quids in  |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
" ......a good man is hard to find? Or is it a hard man is good to find?
Chatting to some of my girlie fab friends the other day we were all in agreement. 'Why is it so hard to find that perfect FB/FWB arrangement?' We are not talking relationship here ........ no way!! Just good regular sex between consenting adults. We never came to a firm conclusion so what are your thoughts fellow fabsters? "
same with most things.... pick better!!!
i think with a lot of women it is a case of waiting to be the woo'd and having people coming to them....
... as opposed to knowing if you know what you are looking for actually going out and being the hunter! the fear of rejection ect ect ect..... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The OP has barred all males..so that will limit any genuine offers for a start.
But good luck)"
I'm not actually looking for a fb. It was a general conversation we were having about fb's because I already have one. The general gist of the convo was 'there are so many men on here saying they want fb's but where the hell are they.
As for exclusivity - I'm a swinger! How does that work? Lol
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
"The OP has barred all males..so that will limit any genuine offers for a start.
But good luck)
I'm not actually looking for a fb. It was a general conversation we were having about fb's because I already have one. The general gist of the convo was 'there are so many men on here saying they want fb's but where the hell are they.
As for exclusivity - I'm a swinger! How does that work? Lol
"
well from a guys perspective, I have met a few women, a few too desperate and a few nutters. There are very few that actually take sex as sex. You get invited back a second time and its 'you will have to take me to a club', 'are you free this or that day', 'can you come and pick me up', 'come over I am upset', that and impromptu telephone calls - this can even be after the first meet also.
I realise blokes can be equally as pandering after a first meet but women too (and some couples) can be a little to relationshipy after the first meet. |
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"There is nothing wrong with being fussy, particularly when the odds are in your favour
However if you want a FB relationship, ie when you expect the other guy to regularly meet you, and by definition forego other women, then if you do get chatting to that exceptional guy then I'm afraid the women concerned are going to have to be pretty exceptional themselves for that exceptional guy to agree to give up meets with other women
Good point!
Some women seem to think that having a fb means they are exclusive and can't see other people. That's a relationship!!!
fb's see other people. No ties. "
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My FWB and I were really lucky in that we got together on here after my having only been on the site a month or two and her having recently moved to the area. We're having a fantastic, NSA time while still meeting other people so it is possible.
So us potential FB guys are out there ladies, you just have to find us. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Maybe cos you're not looking for single guys? We're not all unreliable timewasters. "
If you read my response above you will answer your own question. I didn't say or imply anything about unreliable or timewasting. I've been around long enough to know the score thanks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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But, on a serious note. If the time is right, and you meet the right person. This fb/fwb relationship will form anyway.
...me and my fb met on facebook strangely enough. And we've been meeting for 4 years. We didn't expect anything like that. It just happened. It's only a week or two ago that we ended. Things got a bit complicated which we should have anticipated all these years.
So, like i said. Once there's that spark - then you know it's right. Don't think you can force it.
(And i'm speaking generically)
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The OP has barred all males..so that will limit any genuine offers for a start.
But good luck)
I'm not actually looking for a fb. It was a general conversation we were having about fb's because I already have one. The general gist of the convo was 'there are so many men on here saying they want fb's but where the hell are they.
As for exclusivity - I'm a swinger! How does that work? Lol
well from a guys perspective, I have met a few women, a few too desperate and a few nutters. There are very few that actually take sex as sex. You get invited back a second time and its 'you will have to take me to a club', 'are you free this or that day', 'can you come and pick me up', 'come over I am upset', that and impromptu telephone calls - this can even be after the first meet also.
I realise blokes can be equally as pandering after a first meet but women too (and some couples) can be a little to relationshipy after the first meet. "
Like someone has stated - pick better |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Erm, hiya. Not sure we spoke before. My name is Pops.
Be right back. Let me just change my age lol
"
lol. If only it was so simple! Knock 10 years off for me whilst your at it pops. I'll hunt you down at the sheffield social. We could organise an area to meet your ideal FB lol |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
"The OP has barred all males..so that will limit any genuine offers for a start.
But good luck)
I'm not actually looking for a fb. It was a general conversation we were having about fb's because I already have one. The general gist of the convo was 'there are so many men on here saying they want fb's but where the hell are they.
As for exclusivity - I'm a swinger! How does that work? Lol
well from a guys perspective, I have met a few women, a few too desperate and a few nutters. There are very few that actually take sex as sex. You get invited back a second time and its 'you will have to take me to a club', 'are you free this or that day', 'can you come and pick me up', 'come over I am upset', that and impromptu telephone calls - this can even be after the first meet also.
I realise blokes can be equally as pandering after a first meet but women too (and some couples) can be a little to relationshipy after the first meet.
Like someone has stated - pick better "
but you dont know they have alternate plans until they are pillow talking  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well women are never stratified with a man ever that is why. Now two or 3 might work out.  "
If you're gonna layer them, you certainly need more than one |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The OP has barred all males..so that will limit any genuine offers for a start.
But good luck)
I'm not actually looking for a fb. It was a general conversation we were having about fb's because I already have one. The general gist of the convo was 'there are so many men on here saying they want fb's but where the hell are they.
As for exclusivity - I'm a swinger! How does that work? Lol
well from a guys perspective, I have met a few women, a few too desperate and a few nutters. There are very few that actually take sex as sex. You get invited back a second time and its 'you will have to take me to a club', 'are you free this or that day', 'can you come and pick me up', 'come over I am upset', that and impromptu telephone calls - this can even be after the first meet also.
I realise blokes can be equally as pandering after a first meet but women too (and some couples) can be a little to relationshipy after the first meet.
Like someone has stated - pick better
but you dont know they have alternate plans until they are pillow talking "
Some of us state from the offset. However, just because some of us aspire to get into a kinky relationship, it doesn't make us desperate/needy. I've been "inter_iewing" for a few years  . No rush . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But, on a serious note. If the time is right, and you meet the right person. This fb/fwb relationship will form anyway.
...me and my fb met on facebook strangely enough. And we've been meeting for 4 years. We didn't expect anything like that. It just happened. It's only a week or two ago that we ended. Things got a bit complicated which we should have anticipated all these years.
So, like i said. Once there's that spark - then you know it's right. Don't think you can force it.
(And i'm speaking generically)
"
I agree with you there Pops, I think fwb's evolve over time rather than being a 'forced' arrangement. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Erm, hiya. Not sure we spoke before. My name is Pops.
Be right back. Let me just change my age lol
lol. If only it was so simple! Knock 10 years off for me whilst your at it pops. I'll hunt you down at the sheffield social. We could organise an area to meet your ideal FB lol "
You do know that at this rate it's only going to be me and you that are stuck in one corner looking for our ideal FB's. You know what they say...sometimes you're just staring right at them haha.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Erm, hiya. Not sure we spoke before. My name is Pops.
Be right back. Let me just change my age lol
lol. If only it was so simple! Knock 10 years off for me whilst your at it pops. I'll hunt you down at the sheffield social. We could organise an area to meet your ideal FB lol
You do know that at this rate it's only going to be me and you that are stuck in one corner looking for our ideal FB's. You know what they say...sometimes you're just staring right at them haha.
"
I'll bring the chicken ( and red wig) |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
"
Some of us state from the offset. However, just because some of us aspire to get into a kinky relationship, it doesn't make us desperate/needy. I've been "inter_iewing" for a few years . No rush ."
I am going to have to disagree. When you are called at 10pm by someone you have only met once (and a good few weeks previously) who are crying at something that turns out to be very trivial - asking you to drive for an hour to meet them so 'they can be with someone'. I define that as a desperate and needy.
When you are asked to cuck someone after the first meet - as in ltr.
When you are told you should come over when ever you like day or night and where the keys to the house are.
Being asked to go on holiday with
(these are just a few I remember) All on a first meet or just after .. call it what you want, but I will go with nutters.
I have been practising a few years too - that is why I say, 'they are hard to find'. |
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" ......a good man is hard to find? Or is it a hard man is good to find?
Chatting to some of my girlie fab friends the other day we were all in agreement. 'Why is it so hard to find that perfect FB/FWB arrangement?' We are not talking relationship here ........ no way!! Just good regular sex between consenting adults. We never came to a firm conclusion so what are your thoughts fellow fabsters? "
I am confused. Your profile says you are not looking for guys? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Erm, hiya. Not sure we spoke before. My name is Pops.
Be right back. Let me just change my age lol
lol. If only it was so simple! Knock 10 years off for me whilst your at it pops. I'll hunt you down at the sheffield social. We could organise an area to meet your ideal FB lol
You do know that at this rate it's only going to be me and you that are stuck in one corner looking for our ideal FB's. You know what they say...sometimes you're just staring right at them haha.
I'll bring the chicken ( and red wig) "
Hold on a second. What am i bringing? Shall.i just bring some red candles? Lol.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Most ladies wisely put 'not looking for singles guys' to reduce 300 messages per day down to 30 ish !
Then they can set out hunting and selecting males themselves and make first contact..saves some whiny guy saying why didn't you reply !!? Is it because I have a beard ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Some of us state from the offset. However, just because some of us aspire to get into a kinky relationship, it doesn't make us desperate/needy. I've been "inter_iewing" for a few years . No rush .
I am going to have to disagree. When you are called at 10pm by someone you have only met once (and a good few weeks previously) who are crying at something that turns out to be very trivial - asking you to drive for an hour to meet them so 'they can be with someone'. I define that as a desperate and needy.
When you are asked to cuck someone after the first meet - as in ltr.
When you are told you should come over when ever you like day or night and where the keys to the house are.
Being asked to go on holiday with
(these are just a few I remember) All on a first meet or just after .. call it what you want, but I will go with nutters.
I have been practising a few years too - that is why I say, 'they are hard to find'. "
I'll return to the "pick better" then . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"are we back to over fussy standards .. i'm too old .. too beardy ... too hairy ... too bald to be even looked at .. but could be great fun ... and there must be many more like me "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" ......a good man is hard to find? Or is it a hard man is good to find?
Chatting to some of my girlie fab friends the other day we were all in agreement. 'Why is it so hard to find that perfect FB/FWB arrangement?' We are not talking relationship here ........ no way!! Just good regular sex between consenting adults. We never came to a firm conclusion so what are your thoughts fellow fabsters? "
It's just as hard as a single guy to find a good female FWB/FB. I had met an old friend on this site and another woman from another site, and I had no problems with the old friend but it's still a little awkward with the other woman. Maybe she has finally realised that it's NOT a relationship. |
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"I don't think its something you should look for think it just sort of happens. My ex fb and I just sort if fell into it and it was great for ten months . Good luck I hope you fund what you are looking for."
Agreed. I saw my fwb for six years. Great bloke, fantastic time only ended because I fell for my last meet. |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
"
Some of us state from the offset. However, just because some of us aspire to get into a kinky relationship, it doesn't make us desperate/needy. I've been "inter_iewing" for a few years . No rush .
I am going to have to disagree. When you are called at 10pm by someone you have only met once (and a good few weeks previously) who are crying at something that turns out to be very trivial - asking you to drive for an hour to meet them so 'they can be with someone'. I define that as a desperate and needy.
When you are asked to cuck someone after the first meet - as in ltr.
When you are told you should come over when ever you like day or night and where the keys to the house are.
Being asked to go on holiday with
(these are just a few I remember) All on a first meet or just after .. call it what you want, but I will go with nutters.
I have been practising a few years too - that is why I say, 'they are hard to find'.
I'll return to the "pick better" then ."
nah, My profile name should have been 'Heartbreaker' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Some of us state from the offset. However, just because some of us aspire to get into a kinky relationship, it doesn't make us desperate/needy. I've been "inter_iewing" for a few years . No rush .
I am going to have to disagree. When you are called at 10pm by someone you have only met once (and a good few weeks previously) who are crying at something that turns out to be very trivial - asking you to drive for an hour to meet them so 'they can be with someone'. I define that as a desperate and needy.
When you are asked to cuck someone after the first meet - as in ltr.
When you are told you should come over when ever you like day or night and where the keys to the house are.
Being asked to go on holiday with
(these are just a few I remember) All on a first meet or just after .. call it what you want, but I will go with nutters.
I have been practising a few years too - that is why I say, 'they are hard to find'.
I'll return to the "pick better" then .
nah, My profile name should have been 'Heartbreaker' "
Ahhhh the penny has dropped: you secretly love the needy ones . |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
"
Some of us state from the offset. However, just because some of us aspire to get into a kinky relationship, it doesn't make us desperate/needy. I've been "inter_iewing" for a few years . No rush .
I am going to have to disagree. When you are called at 10pm by someone you have only met once (and a good few weeks previously) who are crying at something that turns out to be very trivial - asking you to drive for an hour to meet them so 'they can be with someone'. I define that as a desperate and needy.
When you are asked to cuck someone after the first meet - as in ltr.
When you are told you should come over when ever you like day or night and where the keys to the house are.
Being asked to go on holiday with
(these are just a few I remember) All on a first meet or just after .. call it what you want, but I will go with nutters.
I have been practising a few years too - that is why I say, 'they are hard to find'.
I'll return to the "pick better" then .
nah, My profile name should have been 'Heartbreaker'
Ahhhh the penny has dropped: you secretly love the needy ones ."
I'm just glad it was the guy calling and not the woman lol |
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