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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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The FIne Line.....
I wish to know what constitutes the fine line and what the catalyst is for crossing it....let me explain.....
Hubby and I swing, we meet up with other couples and we attend clubs where we engage in threesomes, foursomes and sometimes a touch of group sex. Mostly when the 'stuff' is happening I find watching hubby engaging with other women, from just deep conversation all the way to a good hard shag, exciting and a turn on, in fact a good session can keep my juices up for weeks.
However, there have been a few occasions where exactly the same things are happening, usually a different woman but you know, the snogging, feeling up, oral etc and there will suddenly occur deep in my gut what I can only describe as a 'twang'. Suddenly my smile goes, my stomach flips and I AM NOT HAPPY, I want to punch hubbies lights out or similar, although I don't of course, I just signal with our safe word that we should stop and go and talk somewhere away from what's happening. I really want to know why this sometimes happens and if other women (and men of course) experience this dichotomy in their play.
Answers please, on a postcard and be gentle. I really enjoy the lifestyle and mostly it enhances the relationship between us. Is it that those few times when it isn't so pleasant, they are the price to pay for the enjoyable stuff? Maybe someone can clarify the issues I've raised, explain the fine line and offer a solution, or do I just have to put up and shut up, enjoy the good times? |
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Similar thing happened with my wife when we played with a couple, she said that she had no problem watching me have sex... but thought she saw me look in the other woman's eyes and that cut her deep.... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Similar thing happened with my wife when we played with a couple, she said that she had no problem watching me have sex... but thought she saw me look in the other woman's eyes and that cut her deep...."
Goodness, we women eh? A complete mystery! |
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"Similar thing happened with my wife when we played with a couple, she said that she had no problem watching me have sex... but thought she saw me look in the other woman's eyes and that cut her deep....
Goodness, we women eh? A complete mystery!"
No it isn't just women and it isn't soemthing to exclaim over as if its a mystery or something silly. When a couple who are commited to each other have sex with other people they often keep the emotional part of their relationship just for them and the physical part with others is just sex, no more no less so anything that signals deeper felings such as looking into someones eyes, passionate kissing etc will cause that flip in the stomach, its why some couples have a no kissing rule. It isn't a price you pay for the pleasure in my opinion its a lesson learned so that you know not to do that particular thing again.
The safeword and timeout is a great idea we have something similar except we don't use a safe word we just say we need time out  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ah, maybe that's it? Eye contact? Possibly. Don't think it's the kissing as ok with that. The logical extension is that any emotional exchange, eg smiling, dilated pupils etc may be doing it. Minefield! |
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I think that looking into someones eyes, smiling and touching their face gently is far more intimate and involves many more emotions than fucking and is the kind of thing we reserve for each other along with really intimate kissing. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You should stick to fucking doggy and no kissing. Why would you want to be intimate with a stranger if you have a partner"
Ummm this is a swingers site! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We often make eye contact with each other when we're interacting with other people....now that is intimate."
Agree, just makes me want to rush over there and kiss his lips right off! |
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I'm good at separating physical sex feelings with emotional feelings. Sometimes I think there's something wrong with me for being able to do that but not very often. I would hate any jealous or non sex feelings to develop in a sex session. I suspect I wouldn't notice anyway tbh. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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theres nothing that that I ever felt jealous from with ex partners(proper ex gfs), who were/are on the swinging scene that got me jealous..
the sex happens in the place where I'm happy, I would be participating,possibly with them(partner) or other people
and to my knowledge I've never been cheated on, and I've never cheated on a partner
the most important bit is who provides the caring/loving aspect in ur daily live...a fucks a fuck, whether it involves kissing etc.. at the end of it it is pretty unlikely it'll go any further than that.
personally OP...I know its just a reaction u are feeling, but do remember...some of us are people watchers...and we end up picking up on facial reactions and body language, its not a nice feeling ur on eggshells when theres fun happening or due to happen |
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