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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi everyone this is some info from a lgbt website
Bisexuality is an orientation to the same sex and to the opposite sex. There is some evidence that there are about the same amount of bisexual people as there are gay or lesbian
There are a lot of assumptions and prejudice against bisexual people, both from the gay community and the straight community.
Some FAQ’s listed here to try to address some of the misconceptions.
Bisexuality isn’t confusing….bisexual people aren’t confused.
Everyone excepts that you can be attracted to people of different weight, hair colour, or race. For bisexuals that openness also includes gender.
Bisexual people aren’t greedy…
Greed isn't a wide range of desire or attraction; it's excessive attraction. Some people seem to confuse being attracted to more than one gender with being attracted to everyone.
Bisexual people don’t have to be equally attracted to men and women
Sexuality isn't black and white - and the spectrum between gay and straight isn't greys. Think about it this way - rather than black and white, sexuality is red and blue. Purple is not the new red-blue, purple is the new purple. And there's more colours besides that between red and blue, there's orange, yellow and green for starters
Bisexuals can be faithful
Some people ask "How can someone attracted to more than one gender be faithful to a partner of one gender?" Quite easily! Being attracted to people isn't cheating, did you know? Some people are attracted to more than one gender, some people to more than one skin colour, or height, or body shape, or age group, or background.
Would a straight man attracted to both tall and short women be unable to remain faithful to a tall girlfriend? Would a lesbian woman attracted to both musicians and engineers be unable to commit to a guitarist?
Being bisexual isn't what makes someone cheat. Wanting to cheat makes someone cheat.
Bisexuals don't have to date both men and women
Some of us are in happy relationships with one partner, others have multiple relationships and some swap to dating the other sex whenever their current fling ends. Some bisexuals are happily married and raising children. Some bisexuals are single, some are celibate. You do not need to have ever have had sex to be bisexual. Some bisexuals enjoy casual sex, others don’t have sex outside committed relationships.
Bisexuality isn't about who you have sex with, or who you're in a relationship with. It's just about you - and the genders you are attracted to.
Bisexuals don't always alternate between the genders
There's an often repeated myth that "bisexuals leave you for someone of the opposite sex (to you)" - on the gay scene a bisexual man is always pre-condemned ready for when he leaves his boyfriend for a woman, and on the straight scene he's going to dump his girlfriend for a man. But this has come about, we suggest, from the way people notice differences.
When you've split up with someone, and then found a new partner - has the decision been based purely on how they differed from your last partner? Or on what you had in common with the new partner? We'd bet that while it might be a mixture, it's far more about the new love and what you share than your old love and how they differ.
We think that the "bisexuals leave you for someone of the opposite sex (to you)" stereotype has come about from people simply looking for 'reasons' in the differences between them and their ex's new lover. Sure, they might also be different to you in a lot of other ways, but to you the different gender seems like a big and significant difference. But it might not have been to your ex! It's easy to notice this from a distance as a difference and then make it a stereotype because it's not a difference between partners a gay or straight person will often have.
Sometimes a bisexual person's new partner will be of another gender to their last, sometimes the same.
Of course, if that poor bisexual guy we mentioned earlier next dated another man, and didn't flip-flop to a relationship with a woman, then it's probably still okay for the biphobes - he's still showing a lack of commitment (regardless of the actual reason the relationship ended) and that's a bi stereotype too! Sometimes it seems we just can't seem to win, eh?
Bisexuality isn't an 'easy option'
Some people think that bisexuals are just gay and lesbian people who don't want to come out as gay or lesbian, as if saying you were bisexual would allow you to sidestep the prejudices and discrimination we face. It's not an easier option.
Stonewall's Workplace Equality Index questionnaire in 2009 confirmed this was not true - it found that lesbian and gay employees felt much more comfortable being out at work than bisexual employees. When they were commissioned to research the experience of bi employees by the UK Government, they found that those bi employees (of "Diversity Champions") didn't feel comfortable being out enough to even speak to their researchers. Their surveys showed that 4% of these employers' workforces identified as bisexual but nationwide focus groups netted only 30 people willing to attend.
Bisexuality isn't necessarily "fluid"
Often you'll hear long winded definitions of bisexuality include the word 'fluid', or 'changeable'. Some bisexuals like the word, because it feels to them like their sexuality does change over time. One day you might be only fancying long haired people, the next week all your fantasies might be about office workers, or pizza-delivery-people. Or you might not - some people have a type and stick to it. That's fine with us. But why do people who aren't bisexual like the word?
Because it explains away the gender attraction - they can't get their head around people liking more than one gender, so they couch it in terms of the attraction changing, flowing, from same-sex to opposite sex and back again. When non-bisexuals define bisexuality as "fluid" what they usually mean is "no-one can be genuinely attracted to more than one gender at the same time, so it must be about being gay some days and straight others".
Of course, some people who do have changing attraction patterns may well find themselves fancying men more on Saturdays at 6.30pm but that doesn't mean all bisexuals swing from gayish to straightish. Bisexuality isn't inherently fluid - it's just attraction to more than one gender. |
