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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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For the first time in ages we are able to have some playtime this weekend.
We will prob go to a club, but decided to put a meet up icon up on the offchance .
Anyway, had a wink from a couple with a bifem, and I replied with a short but friendly message, basically saying thanks for the wink, like your profile too.
Just had a reply stating that they have fully read our profile now and realised that I am selfish!
The reason? Because I state on my profile that I do not like going down on other women.
Sigh
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find this is the case for a lot of bi fems, but at least you are open about it.
No you're not selfish. "
I find this too. Too many women pretending to be bi to please the OH as well. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"In fairness if I were looking for a bi fem couple and the fem only wanted to receive not give I'd think her selfish too."
See the way I look at it is, there are a lot of people on here not offering what we are looking for, that makes them not compatible with us, it does not make them selfish!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For the first time in ages we are able to have some playtime this weekend.
We will prob go to a club, but decided to put a meet up icon up on the offchance .
Anyway, had a wink from a couple with a bifem, and I replied with a short but friendly message, basically saying thanks for the wink, like your profile too.
Just had a reply stating that they have fully read our profile now and realised that I am selfish!
The reason? Because I state on my profile that I do not like going down on other women.
Sigh
"
You are not selfish !!!!! We all like what we like and shouldn't ever do something we don't like. Who gives a flying ****
About what anyone else thinks  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In fairness if I were looking for a bi fem couple and the fem only wanted to receive not give I'd think her selfish too.
See the way I look at it is, there are a lot of people on here not offering what we are looking for, that makes them not compatible with us, it does not make them selfish!
"
 |
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"In fairness if I were looking for a bi fem couple and the fem only wanted to receive not give I'd think her selfish too.
See the way I look at it is, there are a lot of people on here not offering what we are looking for, that makes them not compatible with us, it does not make them selfish!
"
I would think the same if a man was seeking oral but didn't give it. I would think him selfish but wouldn't tell him, simply not meet as I like oral. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I would not even class myself as bi, I state on my profile that I am biplayful, and explain the best way i can what that means to me.
I find women attractive and enjoy playing with them in a group setting, but do not enjoy the act of giving oral to a woman.
The point that she tried to make was that if you are willing to receive, you should be willing to give.
I was going to ask her if she thought that applied to everything, is if a sub takes from their Dom, they should then give the same back?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"In fairness if I were looking for a bi fem couple and the fem only wanted to receive not give I'd think her selfish too.
See the way I look at it is, there are a lot of people on here not offering what we are looking for, that makes them not compatible with us, it does not make them selfish!
I would think the same if a man was seeking oral but didn't give it. I would think him selfish but wouldn't tell him, simply not meet as I like oral."
Am not actively seeking oral from another woman, we play as a couple with other couples, either straight or with bifems. I am however happy to receive if the other woman wishes to do so.
What I am trying to get straight in my mind is, do people see there has to be an almost tit fr tat in playing, is you do this act on me, then I do the same act on you etc
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some might think your selfish but i just wouldnt meet you simple as that. why did she contact you anyway because it clearly states in your profile that you dont do oral on women. People just don't read profiles. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In fairness if I were looking for a bi fem couple and the fem only wanted to receive not give I'd think her selfish too.
See the way I look at it is, there are a lot of people on here not offering what we are looking for, that makes them not compatible with us, it does not make them selfish!
I would think the same if a man was seeking oral but didn't give it. I would think him selfish but wouldn't tell him, simply not meet as I like oral.
Am not actively seeking oral from another woman, we play as a couple with other couples, either straight or with bifems. I am however happy to receive if the other woman wishes to do so.
What I am trying to get straight in my mind is, do people see there has to be an almost tit fr tat in playing, is you do this act on me, then I do the same act on you etc
"
"In fairness if I were looking for a bi fem couple and the fem only wanted to receive not give I'd think her selfish too.
See the way I look at it is, there are a lot of people on here not offering what we are looking for, that makes them not compatible with us, it does not make them selfish!
I would think the same if a man was seeking oral but didn't give it. I would think him selfish but wouldn't tell him, simply not meet as I like oral.
Am not actively seeking oral from another woman, we play as a couple with other couples, either straight or with bifems. I am however happy to receive if the other woman wishes to do so.
What I am trying to get straight in my mind is, do people see there has to be an almost tit fr tat in playing, is you do this act on me, then I do the same act on you etc
"
We all like what we like and sometimes we will discover new things to add to the list and others we don't like or have no interest in. If you are honest in your profile about it then it's not being selfish.
The whole point of a profile surely is to work out one's compatibility with others, if the other couple had troubled to read your profile first the situation would not have arisen would it, they might not then have winked in response to your meet post preferences.
I understand where Mistress is coming from but disagree about the use of the word selfish, we all have the choice to say yes or no to meets depending on what we are looking for, its that simple (or should be!) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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At least stating what you like and don't like, should make it clear to other bi fems not to expect you to give oral.
Much better than meeting bi fems and bi fem couples only to find they won't touch you "downstairs". I don't mind that, but it does make me question why they are bi fems . Eg for them or their partner  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In fairness if I were looking for a bi fem couple and the fem only wanted to receive not give I'd think her selfish too.
I second this im afraid!"
So do we , sorry  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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See I TOTALLY get that me not wanting to go down on another woman would mean that we don't fit the criteria of many couples,and that is great, as the last thing we want is to meet people who we are not compatible with, and would not want to arrange meets under false pretences.
However I still don't get how it is selfish.
My husband happily sticks his cock in my are, but would run a mile if I wanted to stick something up his! That does not make him selfish in my view, it just means we enjoy different things.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"See I TOTALLY get that me not wanting to go down on another woman would mean that we don't fit the criteria of many couples,and that is great, as the last thing we want is to meet people who we are not compatible with, and would not want to arrange meets under false pretences.
However I still don't get how it is selfish.
My husband happily sticks his cock in my are, but would run a mile if I wanted to stick something up his! That does not make him selfish in my view, it just means we enjoy different things.
"
Exactly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I will happily give to both man and woman in a couple and not want oral back. Receiving oral is last on my list of interests. I would want the man to fuck me though |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"http://www.fabswingers.com/glossary
They could have meant it in this way? It is a term I have heard before, but not as an insult."
Oh interesting, I have not heard that term before.
in this case the person did mean it as an insult though.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I will happily give to both man and woman in a couple and not want oral back. Receiving oral is last on my list of interests. I would want the man to fuck me though"
Yeah this pretty much. I blame mrnotts. He's too good, makes everyone else look like amateurs  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I will happily give to both man and woman in a couple and not want oral back. Receiving oral is last on my list of interests. I would want the man to fuck me though
Yeah this pretty much. I blame mrnotts. He's too good, makes everyone else look like amateurs "
send him over, in the interests of research lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think it's selfish. Saying that if someone goes down on you then you have to return the favour is a bit weird to me. I like mutual fun not a tick box exercise. 
I would wonder if you were just 'playing bi' to please your partner because that would put me off. But you not wanting to give oral wouldn't bother me at all because I prefer to give not receive.
Don't let people make you feel bad for not doing what they want.
x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That's not selfish just a preference. What you don't give with your tongue you can provide with your fingers, given the right technique if anything she sounds childish. |
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someone called me selfish once because when we first started out we only met single men as I wasn't too sure how I would feel about seeing Mr N with another woman. Mr N was completely ok with it, so why would a complete stranger not be?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find this is the case for a lot of bi fems, but at least you are open about it.
No you're not selfish.
I find this too. Too many women pretending to be bi to please the OH as well."
. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some people may think it selfish if it comes across as ur happy to recieve but not to give, so doesnt seem like mutual pleasure is ur aim
However people should only do what they are happy to do. each to their own N all that.
Plenty of people with plenty of opinons. As long as ur true to urself what does it matter what anyone else says / thinks about it ? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Massive thanks for all the replies.
We have ben on this scene long enough ( jeez I was 22 when first started!  ) to know what we do and do not like, so no danger of someone like that forcing me to change my boundaries, I just struggle to understand how other peoples minds work at times.
For anyone who was wondering if me not liking to go down on other women is because I "play" bi for hubbies sake, not at all, if I was all about pleasing him I would spend my life sucking his cock whilst wearing a French maids outfit!
 |
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"
For anyone who was wondering if me not liking to go down on other women is because I "play" bi for hubbies sake, not at all, if I was all about pleasing him I would spend my life sucking his cock whilst wearing a French maids outfit!
"
You mean you don't!? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
For anyone who was wondering if me not liking to go down on other women is because I "play" bi for hubbies sake, not at all, if I was all about pleasing him I would spend my life sucking his cock whilst wearing a French maids outfit!
You mean you don't!? "
only on high days and holidays!
I am bad wife I know lol |
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"
For anyone who was wondering if me not liking to go down on other women is because I "play" bi for hubbies sake, not at all, if I was all about pleasing him I would spend my life sucking his cock whilst wearing a French maids outfit!
You mean you don't!?
only on high days and holidays!
I am bad wife I know lol"
 You are I always put on a fresh pinny and touch up my lipstick for when my man comes home tired from a day doing erm....stuff |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For the first time in ages we are able to have some playtime this weekend.
We will prob go to a club, but decided to put a meet up icon up on the offchance .
Anyway, had a wink from a couple with a bifem, and I replied with a short but friendly message, basically saying thanks for the wink, like your profile too.
Just had a reply stating that they have fully read our profile now and realised that I am selfish!
The reason? Because I state on my profile that I do not like going down on other women.
Sigh
"
we had that too.
V has never been a fan of doing it, and she was branded bi-selfish.
each to their own, i suppose.
never stopped other women enjoying what she offers, and tbh, she has moved on somewhat now.
as long as the other woman doesnt squirt over her face, she doesnt overly mind it anymore. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Brought this into conversation last night, a valid point raised was that me saying " you are not allowed to go down on me, because I do not want to do it to you" would not benefit anyone.
anyway, glad Vee now enjoys it xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Selfish would be meeting the couple, letting her go down on you and then saying you don't go down on other women. You have made your preferences quite clear for all to see, if they don't like it, move on and find someone else. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find this is the case for a lot of bi fems, but at least you are open about it.
No you're not selfish.
I find this too. Too many women pretending to be bi to please the OH as well."
i dont see the jump from not liking licking pussy to only doing it to please hubby.
that just doesnt make sense.
when we started, it wasnt that much of an interest to see V with other women, it was for her to try, and she tried it, but wasnt overly taken with giving oral sex, until recently, so its completely her choice.
its about figuring out your boundaries and enjoyment levels. |
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Given I have several purely lesbian friends I've found this interesting. In the lesbian world this would not be an issue. Aside from personal preferences.
There are even terms for lesbians who prefer to give/receive and those who don't like to give receive n they try n match up accordingly eg a stone (woman who gives but doesn't like to receive sexual pleasure) with a starfish (only likes to receive) and within these are those that do or don't give oral, fingering, anal fingering, strap on, like or don't like feminine or butch women or drag kings etc etc everyone's sexuality different. Shouldn't be judged |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Given I have several purely lesbian friends I've found this interesting. In the lesbian world this would not be an issue. Aside from personal preferences.
There are even terms for lesbians who prefer to give/receive and those who don't like to give receive n they try n match up accordingly eg a stone (woman who gives but doesn't like to receive sexual pleasure) with a starfish (only likes to receive) and within these are those that do or don't give oral, fingering, anal fingering, strap on, like or don't like feminine or butch women or drag kings etc etc everyone's sexuality different. Shouldn't be judged"
Hmmm never heard that before, but it makes sense. Just like some guys are top and some guys are bottom i suppose. Good post |
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