Coming from a small community, it was very normal that strangers and people you know would acknowledge your very existence with a smile, saying hello or something similar. This art has somewhat diminished in bigger cultures, a bit the difference in Paul Hogan in Crocodile Dundee, when he gets to New York.
Maintain eye contact, smile, speak but aim not to intimidate. Staring is usually something that others find disturbing or alarming.
Learn about body language, how to read and interpret what others are signalling non-verbally. That could help you conserve energies from wasted attempts at deeper interaction with others. It's a fascinating subject as much of our communication is outside of the specific words that we speak. Develop your own style of communicating non vernally, and be inviting, welcoming and warm to others. Practice, as it's a skill like every other. The more you do it, the better you'll get and eventually you'll find yourself doing it automatically, just like how people have learned to drive.
As for now, perhaps stick to day lit areas, increase how much you smile at others, male and female, and do it more often. Say little comments with people that you pass, and you'll likely notice how some of these develop beyond 'hello'. The easiest thing is probably to talk about something you may have in common. Remember, females are not an alien species, we're just like everyone else. But few people want to feel like a hunted or cornered animal that is prey for someone, so fine tune how you approach.
Just as with messages to single women on fab, you'll find plenty of non cooperative people: this may not be about your techniques, but about the situation, their life circumstances, their interests etc. Keep at it and use some of your style that works in bars etc too. |
Nette
