FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > judged by the number of meets to time on site

judged by the number of meets to time on site

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Do people judge others by the amount of meets to their length of time on here.

we would love to meet more but find it difficult.

we have 2 young children and will not play with them in the house. Babysitters are grandparents who will always be used for vanilla life first, and they cannot be constantly asked as it is not fair. Meets have to be planned well in advance and some people do not understand this.

Are there any couples in the same boat as us,and how often do you meet people.

We have vowed that this year we will have one date night a month, but feel this should be used for us time not just naughty time. What do people think.....

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By *ENDAROOSCouple over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

Yes some will judge you on how many verifications you have. You often can't win, either too many, not enough, not the 'right' type of people.......It will drive you mad if you try to please everyone.

We don't have a set quota of meets, it really depends on how much free time we have and if there is anyone that we want to meet.

Quite often when we do have a free evening we just want to spend it together.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Like _endaroos has just said - it depends on the reader.

Personally I'd rather meet someone who's not full of 'veris', but then that's me.

Anyone who takes a couple of minutes to read your profile will realise that you have a sense of humour which helps in an evenings fun - you may not to be having sex all night and chat between 'sessions'.

Your time without the kids in precious - spend it how you wish. If that is alone then great - if it's with others then also great.

Xxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I dont think they should as some like to chat in forums or use the chat rooms, also not everyone you meet leaves a verificastion for you, I had few of those myself lol.

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By *pplecrunchWoman over a year ago

Yeovil

I have this problem, but Im a single mum with no babysitter. If I did need a sitter I would have to pay for one. I get 49 nights a year free. Guys just don't understand if you can't satisfy them then they don't want to know and call you a time waster.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We have posted on this topic before....if people took the time to read on this site, they would realise even people with 100's of veris haven't necessarily shagged everyone on there.

Most of ours our 'social' only type meets, but looking at them, and not reading, people may think we are hardened swingers meeting every spare minute.

We take the time to read veris, as it gives us some idea of the people we are meeting, so a few veris mean as much as 100's if we read through them!

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By *entfootloverMan over a year ago

Sevenoaks

"Yes some will judge you on how many verifications you have. You often can't win, either too many, not enough, not the 'right' type of people.......It will drive you mad if you try to please everyone."

Exactly. Just today I was told the reason I don't have any veris is because I "don't know how things work around here", all because I refused to provide personal details such as my line of work (and this only in the second message). I was eventually blocked because I didn't reply within 15 mins. Never knew I signed up to some message response SLA when I joined

Moral of the story: don't even bother trying to please everybody.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"We have posted on this topic before....if people took the time to read on this site, they would realise even people with 100's of veris haven't necessarily shagged everyone on there.

Most of ours our 'social' only type meets, but looking at them, and not reading, people may think we are hardened swingers meeting every spare minute.

We take the time to read veris, as it gives us some idea of the people we are meeting, so a few veris mean as much as 100's if we read through them!"
we don't judge people by the amount of veris they have as even a quick glance is enough for anyone with half a brain cell to realise that in a lot of cases 95% are from a social. We just wondered wether people were put off by a lack of meets.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If someone didn't have any, then yes definitely put us off (but again dependent on how long they had been on the site - couple of weeks no veris = understandable/a year or more no veris = no chance)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm sure there are those that base their meets on the amount of veri's a profile has, whether there's not enough or too many ~ that's their choice to do so, you can't please everyone so don't worry about it.

As long as you are having a good time that's what counts.

I've had more liaisons than I show veri's for, that's my choice.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Do people judge others by the amount of meets to their length of time on here.

we would love to meet more but find it difficult.

Are there any couples in the same boat as us,and how often do you meet people.

We have vowed that this year we will have one date night a month, but feel this should be used for us time not just naughty time. What do people think....."
if I'm honest and a guy messaged me who had been on a year and no verifications I would question him why? However if they had been on over a year and had a few on there (depending of when they were left) I would go with the flow.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have this problem, but Im a single mum with no babysitter. If I did need a sitter I would have to pay for one. I get 49 nights a year free. Guys just don't understand if you can't satisfy them then they don't want to know and call you a time waster. "

wow that's nearly 1 a week! Do you really mean that many. ... If so who said single people have it tough? We made it out 3 times last year as a couple. ...

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By *punkloverCouple over a year ago

hatfield

Not at all as we go to clubs a lot and we don't automatically ask if they are on fabs and if they can leave a verif. Most of our meets are at clubs and spontaneous

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By *ewantithardCouple over a year ago

Scotland and SE England

We have been on the site since Nov and haven't had 1 meet because others have cancelled or like you we haven't been able to meet at the drop of a hat due to children. We too won't play at home. Good luck. I think the first time it actually happens for us I will be a crazy nympho! Lol

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By *ewantithardCouple over a year ago

Scotland and SE England

I did have a social meet on Sat with a lovely girl and when we tried to verify eachother it wouldn't work because neither of us has a veri already. How does that work?!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I did have a social meet on Sat with a lovely girl and when we tried to verify eachother it wouldn't work because neither of us has a veri already. How does that work?!

One of you needs to be already verified before you can leave a veri.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

For us we have a similar situation to the op but we pay a babysitter 6 times a month and go to clubs on those nights .

We guesstimate that we have had fun about 60 plus times in 8 months .

That may seem excessive to some , but who cares ? Certainly not us !

We are madly in love with each other and both have very high sex drives . We love the time we have with each other and our six year old .

The whole social and friendship side of swinging does nothing for us . But each to their own and the op will find what suits them with like minded folk .

We spend about 8 hours a week swinging , and just like to make the most of it ..

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By *hameleons69Woman over a year ago

good ship lollipop

Go with the flow, meet when it suits you and and have you time when it doesn't. We are in the same position but don't let it worry us... When we are both feeling like some extra fun we go out to play

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Am I wrong in my thinking that this is supposed to be a swinging site, what I mean is, it is about having fun with mutual adults. Most of us practice safe sex and will continue to do so and I totally reinforce that ethos, but if either a couple of a single guy/girl you like the look of and you meet each others criteria for having fun then why is it an issue whether they or them have had numerous meets. I myself am not looking to have numerous meets because I really want to meet a circle of friends who I can meet regularly, only for me it gets better and better the more you get used to each other as opposed to just meeting people once etc. However I don't and would not have an issue with meeting with a couple or single girl even if they had numerous veris. To me it is about having fun and meeting some lovely people.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I did have a social meet on Sat with a lovely girl and when we tried to verify eachother it wouldn't work because neither of us has a veri already. How does that work?!

It's annoying isn't it lol

We had a profile last year and a regular friend verified us, closed the account and decided to come back for some extra fun and were right back to the start

(Ps shame you're not both bi we would happily meet you both - lovely pictures)

Redx

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By *ewantithardCouple over a year ago

Scotland and SE England

"Am I wrong in my thinking that this is supposed to be a swinging site, what I mean is, it is about having fun with mutual adults. Most of us practice safe sex and will continue to do so and I totally reinforce that ethos, but if either a couple of a single guy/girl you like the look of and you meet each others criteria for having fun then why is it an issue whether they or them have had numerous meets. I myself am not looking to have numerous meets because I really want to meet a circle of friends who I can meet regularly, only for me it gets better and better the more you get used to each other as opposed to just meeting people once etc. However I don't and would not have an issue with meeting with a couple or single girl even if they had numerous veris. To me it is about having fun and meeting some lovely people.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

For me I base meeting people on how well I get on with them when I chat to them, not on how many veris they have. People choose to show some veris and not others or in some cases not to send a very at all for a variety of reasons. The important thing for me is whether we click.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I only joined at the start of the year, I have one veri by cam, I don't like going on cam but its the only way people might veri me, I don't want to send my face pic to loads of people hoping for a meet, I know am looking for one but no one has ever sent me a face pic first, They are looking too.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We are the same between "real life" work, kids & finding a babysitter we don't get to actually do much "meet" meets (like to have a wee social hiya first).

Look on in envy at those who can get non social meet verifications.

Maybe it'll be different in 2014.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

Probably said by others, but veris aren't a tally of how many meets you've had, merely how many people you've met have left a veri for you, and that the user has decided to post.

Decent people are going to be looking at potential partners and aiming to find a good match on interests, how you meet, as well as who you are as people. I think it's best to just be upfront, and having kids and hosting issues are fairly widespread and understood. If your profile states your general situation, then people who progress from that point should be well aware of this, and you can always remind them, once you start communicating.

Whilst some profiles read like notches on bed posts, you can't generally estimate how many meets others get just from this list.

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By *lippi WenwetCouple over a year ago

tynemouth

"Do people judge others by the amount of meets to their length of time on here.

we would love to meet more but find it difficult.

Are there any couples in the same boat as us,and how often do you meet people.

We have vowed that this year we will have one date night a month, but feel this should be used for us time not just naughty time. What do people think....."

We are exactly the same had a few snide comments and blocks but at the end of the day it is their loss, we have two kids, no sitters and two businesses to run, I am a carer for a family member and we have had major family health issues to deal with, some people just don't get that any free time we have sometimes we need it for just us, we find that the nice people we have met understand and we chat on a regular basis, just because we don't physically see them doesn't mean we don't want to, and doesn't mean we cant have fun either.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I never judge we are all here for the same reason, so let's meet and have fun!

But I have been judged for the amount of meets I have had. But most have just been socials, certain people don't get that and therefore won't meet me...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

we wouldnt judge people on the amount of veris,we just use them to gauge whether they are people who have and will turn up.the more they have the more they are likely to turn up we found.as for veris themselves would'nt believe half of them if ours are anything to go by

.people tend to exaggerate to be nice.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I never judge we are all here for the same reason, so let's meet and have fun!

But I have been judged for the amount of meets I have had. But most have just been socials, certain people don't get that and therefore won't meet me..."

Imagine what it's like fo us then !

And none of ours are social

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think many do.

When i first signed up i rarely got any meets, even if it was a social. Many did used to say 'if you've been on the site for three months and had no meets, i'm not meeting you'.

That's a bit weird. I may not be the easiest on the eye or no looker but how on earth am i meant to get a meet so quick when the ratio of men on here is huge?

Other thing would be, i'm quite picky as to who i'd meet. I didn't sign up just for sex (i can get that outside of fab) but for quality meets and kinky friendships.

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By *estEndGentMan over a year ago

London

I've been on this site for quite a while but for a lot of that time was seeing someone not into swinging. I just enjoyed learning about the scene and reading the forums without meeting anyone.

Hoping that the lack of veri's won't now count against me. I think the answer probably lies in going to a club and meeting some people!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Not at all as we go to clubs a lot and we don't automatically ask if they are on fabs and if they can leave a verif. Most of our meets are at clubs and spontaneous "

Ditto and even anonymous

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