FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > do you need to fancy your meets
do you need to fancy your meets
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me, and maybe many others, there needs to be physical attraction but its not everything. When I met, I always met socially first for many reasons, one being if neither or one of us wasn't happy to go further it was just a social, better than a night in on your own watching TV. I have made some good friends that way  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have a social drink and leave!"
this, except the opportunity is there, during the drink, for their personality to become attractive.
its not all about looks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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have sex with him anyway. these days it doesnt usually happen because i am more careful. if they look a certain way or remind me of bad people i have met then i wont meet them. i have met good looking people before though and the sex wasnt that good anyway.
i have met a few men who didnt look all that in their photos but were nicer and better looking in the flesh.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"what would you do if you turned up at a meet and didnt fancy them x x  "
This has happened a few times , and that's why we mainly meet in clubs now .
We have politely declined when there is no attraction and this is very awkward in someone's home .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Luckily it has only happened once, guy stank of stale fags and whiskey, I locked him in a kennel for a couple of hours, and let him go...a quick jet wash sorted the smell out, with a tin of jeyes fluid  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends on how you define attraction, if you mean in looks, then that is not important to us. This is swinging not dating, for us it is all about the attitude.
It is the freedom to be ourselves outside of the home that is the turn on and we are more likely to be turned off by those with a long list of requirements as feeling like it has become a job inter_iew defeats the point of it all.
We are very unlikely to message someone with a profile full of do's and dont's as we like the randomness of swinging.
The exception to this would be people we get on well with socially, but overall this is swinging, we are here for random sex with people we know and those we don't.
But as always its different strokes for different folks and we are all entitled to have fun in our own way. Can never understand why people take it all so seriously, especially those that have a mini domestic at parties for example. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"what would you do if you turned up at a meet and didnt fancy them x x "
Yes, I do need to fancy my meets, just as they need to fancy me. If I arrived at the meet, and I didn't fancy them, its always best to be honest, and I'd expect the same from them. I guess we've all compromised in the past (I have) ... and the meet's not really been good. Its difficult to have sex with someone you aren't turned on by, and even though its achievable, its not right  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Top tip....allways carry a plastic bag with you on new meets She can allways give me a bj and ill just enjoy then send her packing...
Its only banter...take a chill pill |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Instead of a sexual meet. May just have a purely social meet. I tend to meet those i'm friends with. So, things shouldn't really be awkward if we don't fancy each other - these things happen.
...but, i do like to know where i stand. So, then whatever i say or do in the meet is according.
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"have sex with him anyway. these days it doesnt usually happen because i am more careful. if they look a certain way or remind me of bad people i have met then i wont meet them. i have met good looking people before though and the sex wasnt that good anyway.
i have met a few men who didnt look all that in their photos but were nicer and better looking in the flesh. "
Agree!!! I've met some gorgeous guys in clubs, it's like shagging a bag of spuds, either that or they think they're porn stars... Really off putting |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i might not especialy fancy someone but if they are clean and nice then i may like them, i dont look at people i meet that much but if i really dont like the look of someone its not so good. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I only meet for a quick social...cuppa and chat. This gives both parties the opportunity to escape with out any awkwardness. if there is an attraction the next meet is on the cards.
Its works for me. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"what would you do if you turned up at a meet and didnt fancy them x x "
Have a drink and then say thanks but you are not for me.
Happily anyone we have met have been how they look on their cam and how they sound in mail, so we have never had to say no to someone....yet.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Reading through this it seems the criteria for singles and couples is very different. I guess it is more like dating for a single, so therefore a meet first see what the connection is like and both parties able to escape without drama is the best way ahead.
For couples on the other hand the probability of finding attraction with double the variables is much harder which for us makes the criteria different. I think for us and the couples we get on well with and play with as long as we can communicate, have a giggle and be candid then the probability of play is much higher.
We do find the dynamic of private parties much better than clubs or organised meets, where the sex is a bit more of a free for all but it seems to us this is more noticeable when there are no singles around. There certainly is many levels to this, but we just go into it with the attitude that we see play with others as a bonus and not a requirement. We are more than capable of making our own fun, and involving others is an enhancement to our own sex life.
So back to the many variables involved we keep our checklist short and find attraction in less obvious ways than looks, body shape creed and colour etc. If we like you in the vanilla sense then we will usually be up for play.
once again it is attitude and open mindedness that turns us on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Had to be a spark with personality
Looks are still important
Very
But the spark , the click is important
Often don't find that hence the fact I rarely meet lol |
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If i was face to face with someone id be honest but tactful and just say sorry i don't feel the chemistry/attraction/other option. But id chat and have a drink. Im not one for diving out bathroom windows or anything daft |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A person doesn't have to be stunningly good looking to be fanciable, but if I don't think sex with someone's going to be fun, then there's not going to be any. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can't have sex or play with people I am not into . I have standards and I will not just open my legs and think of England for no one."
I don't open mine for anyone and think of Wales either! |
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"I wouldn't bother meeting someone who didn't attract me in some way in the first place. Seems pointless!!!!"
Yes, me neither, but it often isn't until things get physical that you really know how you feel about them anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not only would I have to be attracted to them in some way, I'd also want to know they desired me too. Without mutual attraction/desire it's simply not happening.
A social meet beforehand makes perfect sense. With someone you find attractive the flirting that ensues at such an encounter only serves to heighten the desire to see them again on a more intimate level. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A nice personality is important for me. Sex doesn't have to be amazing every time and it will depend on how long since I had previously had sex. If it's been ages then I will probably put more effort in which makes it better. You can like someone then get naked and the way they kiss turns you off or something they do to you makes you feel uncomfortable. Try before you buy is my motto. The ones that went really well come back time after time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have a social drink and leave!
this, except the opportunity is there, during the drink, for their personality to become attractive.
its not all about looks."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have a social drink and leave!
this, except the opportunity is there, during the drink, for their personality to become attractive.
its not all about looks."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If a social meet goes well it often ends with a little exploration...kissing and perhaps a little more just to whet the appetite for the main event
That way at least a few things have been tested beforehand  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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always need to fancy the person, ain't gonna happen otherwise!
that's why I always arrange a social meet first, so if we don't click we can both say thanks but no thanks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I have paid 80p bus fare and bought 2 mars bars for after, im not going to miss out on a shag, just because I don't fancy him, most of my dates are a bit like Quasimodo, and drag their knuckles when they try and walk upright |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ive had loads of meets. Ive found 99.5% of the young guys look like their pics. Only had one older guy that didnt - significantly different ( like 5 stone ) so I said thanks but no thanks. Offered to stay for drink but he declined. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"always need to fancy the person, ain't gonna happen otherwise!
that's why I always arrange a social meet first, so if we don't click we can both say thanks but no thanks "
This |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I turned up to a meet and did'nt fancy them id politely tell them that its going no further than a social meet,I would'nt run up the road screaming no fucking way! |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"If I turned up to a meet and did'nt fancy them id politely tell them that its going no further than a social meet,I would'nt run up the road screaming no fucking way! "
One day someone is going to do that! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I turned up to a meet and did'nt fancy them id politely tell them that its going no further than a social meet,I would'nt run up the road screaming no fucking way!
One day someone is going to do that! "
I might do it for a laugh though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Had to be a spark with personality
Looks are still important
Very
But the spark , the click is important
Often don't find that hence the fact I rarely meet lol"
never a truer word written |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ive had loads of meets. Ive found 99.5% of the young guys look like their pics. Only had one older guy that didnt - significantly different ( like 5 stone ) so I said thanks but no thanks. Offered to stay for drink but he declined. "
young men can't use 10 year old pics to fool us, which is most helpful |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I turned up to a meet and did'nt fancy them id politely tell them that its going no further than a social meet,I would'nt run up the road screaming no fucking way! "
I had a guy up and leave the pub when I went to the toilet, not sure if he was screaming no fucking way though!! Did me a favour to be fair as he lied about being a non smoker and stank and there was no spark anyway. Still, didn't make me feel good when sat there like a nob thinking he'd gone to the loo and the barman said he'd gone!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ive had loads of meets. Ive found 99.5% of the young guys look like their pics. Only had one older guy that didnt - significantly different ( like 5 stone ) so I said thanks but no thanks. Offered to stay for drink but he declined.
young men can't use 10 year old pics to fool us, which is most helpful "
Exactly this !! So true |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I turned up to a meet and did'nt fancy them id politely tell them that its going no further than a social meet,I would'nt run up the road screaming no fucking way!
I had a guy up and leave the pub when I went to the toilet, not sure if he was screaming no fucking way though!! Did me a favour to be fair as he lied about being a non smoker and stank and there was no spark anyway. Still, didn't make me feel good when sat there like a nob thinking he'd gone to the loo and the barman said he'd gone!!"
Lol x same thing happened to me a couple of weeks ago. Its that creeping realisation that you have been left which is awful !! Lol x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There can be attraction from the persons personality, with looks being a secondary consideration.
Cleanliness, personality and manners matter, and if they are present, then looks can go out of the window.
There has to be some connection though ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I turned up to a meet and did'nt fancy them id politely tell them that its going no further than a social meet,I would'nt run up the road screaming no fucking way!
I had a guy up and leave the pub when I went to the toilet, not sure if he was screaming no fucking way though!! Did me a favour to be fair as he lied about being a non smoker and stank and there was no spark anyway. Still, didn't make me feel good when sat there like a nob thinking he'd gone to the loo and the barman said he'd gone!!
Lol x same thing happened to me a couple of weeks ago. Its that creeping realisation that you have been left which is awful !! Lol x "
I remember reading your thread, its such a cowardly thing to do. I've met a couple of guys I've wanted to do this to but would never do it, just got to the end of the night and thanked them for the drink, its the whole point of a social. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Had to be a spark with personality
Looks are still important
Very
But the spark , the click is important
Often don't find that hence the fact I rarely meet lol"
This... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We both have to fancy them, why would anyone play with some one you did not find attractive? And more to the point did you not think to get face picks 1st? X |
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"what would you do if you turned up at a meet and didnt fancy them x x "
I would say 'sorry, I've changed my mind about sex but would like to stay for a coffee' or something along those lines anyway. I'd like to be told straight if sex was on the cards or not. It doesn't matter, it's swinging. No matter how good ones pre-meet checks are, you'll know when you meet someone if you want sex or not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"what would you do if you turned up at a meet and didnt fancy them x x "
learn from my mistake .i just recently met a ladie on here .her pictures looked ok she sounded ok .but when I turned up at hers I was met by someone who looked nothing like her profile picture (ten years previous) I had ordered a take away meal as I had been grafting all day and was starving so I ate the food and thought it would be rude of me not to oblige her .with my length the blow job was hit and miss and no sooner had I left for work she was on the phone to me saying you never found me attractive . is it surprising with your ten year old profile picture .if I had had an up to date picture miss .i would not have bothered.and stayed at home |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There can be attraction from the persons personality, with looks being a secondary consideration.
Cleanliness, personality and manners matter, and if they are present, then looks can go out of the window.
There has to be some connection though !"
I agree. If I have got as far as meeting someone new socially, I'm pretty certain by then, that the chemistry will be right. I have been wrong though and it's awkward saying " thank you but no thank you" but rather that than a sympathy shag ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"what would you do if you turned up at a meet and didnt fancy them x x "
Have a drink with them...have a laugh hopefully then say thanks very much and goodnight...
We did an obligation shag once...never again... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There can be attraction from the persons personality, with looks being a secondary consideration.
Cleanliness, personality and manners matter, and if they are present, then looks can go out of the window.
There has to be some connection though !
I agree. If I have got as far as meeting someone new socially, I'm pretty certain by then, that the chemistry will be right. I have been wrong though and it's awkward saying " thank you but no thank you" but rather that than a sympathy shag ! "
it is awkward in my mind to say sorry I dont find you attractive in the slightest .im a swinger get me out of here .but I agree with the last poster never again I lived I learned |
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By *uzzybeWoman
over a year ago
Darlington |
"For me, and maybe many others, there needs to be physical attraction but its not everything. When I met, I always met socially first for many reasons, one being if neither or one of us wasn't happy to go further it was just a social, better than a night in on your own watching TV. I have made some good friends that way "
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I would give them a polite 'Thanks but no'. This is the reason for a social meet before anything else; to see if you're both happy with each other, establish a 'spark'.
Photos can be misleading, not a true representation (especially if they're a few years out of date), but also, a person can be more attractive in the flesh, especially when they talk and smile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would give them a polite 'Thanks but no'. This is the reason for a social meet before anything else; to see if you're both happy with each other, establish a 'spark'.
Photos can be misleading, not a true representation (especially if they're a few years out of date), but also, a person can be more attractive in the flesh, especially when they talk and smile. "
honesty has got to be key to happy swinging or as some suggest a relationship I dont mean girlfriend boyfriend .fuckbuddies swinging partners whatever you want to dress it up as .honesty how many partners .sexual health .looking back I should have had it on my toes .i should have kept it in my pants .but im a horny fucker .and I thought with the one eyed monster .driving home I felt bad .shit im watching big brother lee your a bit of a dick but lets be honest your a man from south london with a dick.ok its not as big as mine or dappys but it does the same thing .fills with blood and starves the brain of blood .on the plus side she was a nice girl she had a juicy clit and large breasts and nipples .i pit my hands up I should have taken my mates advice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have a social drink and leave!
this, except the opportunity is there, during the drink, for their personality to become attractive.
its not all about looks."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have a social drink and leave!
this, except the opportunity is there, during the drink, for their personality to become attractive.
its not all about looks."
Yes on both counts |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Depends on how you define attraction, if you mean in looks, then that is not important to us. This is swinging not dating, for us it is all about the attitude.
It is the freedom to be ourselves outside of the home that is the turn on and we are more likely to be turned off by those with a long list of requirements as feeling like it has become a job inter_iew defeats the point of it all.
We are very unlikely to message someone with a profile full of do's and dont's as we like the randomness of swinging.
The exception to this would be people we get on well with socially, but overall this is swinging, we are here for random sex with people we know and those we don't.
But as always its different strokes for different folks and we are all entitled to have fun in our own way. Can never understand why people take it all so seriously, especially those that have a mini domestic at parties for example. "
Well said attraction can take many forms not just looks
I find people who are open and fun attractive because of their attitude to life and sex , to enjoy someone's company they don't have to be attractive but what is attractive ?????
Just nice kind caring fun people who can communicate and make you feel at ease |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"what would you do if you turned up at a meet and didnt fancy them x x "
I continued with the meet. As I did know what they looked like before, my fault not theirs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"what would you do if you turned up at a meet and didnt fancy them x x "
We like most couples already have our perfect partner . If we don't fancy them it doesn't happen, excuses are made followed, by we will verify you as genuine for a social anyway , and off wee tootle
Occasionally we have taken one for the team, but it usually means me jason gets someone who is not keen on, as Paula likes the guy.
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A big yes. If I don't fancy a woman what's the point? I'd rather have a wank than bad sex.
I also stress that a first meet is non committal so if they don't fancy me they can escape easily after the quick drink too lol |
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