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The Swingers Translation Guide!
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By *tmm OP Couple
over a year ago
harlow |
So hubby and I have just had a bite to eat and been having a laugh translating some of the phrases and words we've seen in the swinging world! I know there was a post like this before but I can't find  So please feel free to add your own.
And remember! Don't be offended!!! It's a joke! :D
Single Guys
Available Now! - Quick wife will be home in 20mins
Available Now! - Quick whilst I have a hard on! I only get one once a year!
VWE - Never showered at school with the other guys.
Bi-curious - Have had no interest from females, now thinking I might have luck with guys.
Bisexual - been on here two years now. Still no meet.
Joined over a year ago - profile still says "I'm new here. Fill in later."
Multiple cock pics - my face aint all that or you know me.
Looking for couple - Some one show what I'm meant to do!!
Can make women squirt - well that or the last one pissed on me.
Looking for group meet - maybe I can hide in the background.
6ft 3" - Oh you only want guys under 6ft? I'm 5ft 9"... if I crawl....
Single Girls
I'm bi - unicorn
I can accomodate - unicorn
I can travel - unicorn
I can deep throat - unicorn
I like anal - unicorn
I have a younger fitter friend who wants to join us - unicorn
Couples
Discrete couple - you don't want to see our pictures
Fem is bi - Husband told her so
Fem on Fem - husband doesn't know what hes doing
Same room swap - I want to take notes!
Separate swap - I don't want to see what I'm missing!
Profile Descriptions
Athletic - Finished Weight Watchers
Slim - Member of Weight Watchers
Average - actually? This is probably true!
Curvy - Should have clicked fabulous...
Fabulous - WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN????
Hope this made some of you laugh!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Least there are no longer any verifications by phone - talk about encouraging time wasters
Remember that ? Over year profile no pics but 1 phone veri !! |
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Males:
Heavy cummer - well I am, when I haven't been wanking on here all day.
Repeater - if we can meet again?
Would love to meet an older woman - young, very young.
Happy to travel - wife could walk in on us otherwise
Just a normal guy - anything but!
BBC - can you show me your TV licence?
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'never quite sure what to write in these' = none of the numerous profiles have resulted in any luck & I will be vague, so I can pretend I like what you like & Im not very interesting and find thinking hard & perhaps you could complete my sex education for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"'never quite sure what to write in these' = none of the numerous profiles have resulted in any luck & I will be vague, so I can pretend I like what you like & Im not very interesting and find thinking hard & perhaps you could complete my sex education for me. "
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"So hubby and I have just had a bite to eat and been having a laugh translating some of the phrases and words we've seen in the swinging world! I know there was a post like this before but I can't find So please feel free to add your own.
And remember! Don't be offended!!! It's a joke! :D
Single Guys
Available Now! - Quick wife will be home in 20mins
Available Now! - Quick whilst I have a hard on! I only get one once a year!
VWE - Never showered at school with the other guys.
Bi-curious - Have had no interest from females, now thinking I might have luck with guys.
Bisexual - been on here two years now. Still no meet.
"
No offence to anyone but that progression made me howl with laughter!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Professional and discreet couple =
Rich fuck buddies married to other people who have no clue that their hubby/wife swing behind their backs. Are shit scared that if they get rumbled they will loose the 4 bed house, Merc, Ferrari, Soft Top Mini Cooper (the runaround) and 3 race horses aswell as the holiday home in Spain!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Couple with comfortable lifestyle = extra wide front door to get our heads through. Will leave the Porsche boxter on the drive if we know you are coming over. P.s. Bring a bottle of plonk as we are maxed-out on the credit cards. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Bi-curious = curious as to exactly why I quite like it up the pooper
Gym fit = no mates or social life, unexplained kebab phobia
Sub / dom switch = undiagnosed bipolar disorder
Can accommodate = don't realise I live in a dump
Can't accommodate = readily admit I live in a dump
Cleanliness expected = OCD
Safe sex only = with you cos you are minging, everybody else bareback
Looks unimportant = can my guide dog lick your arse while we fuck?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Gym fit = steroid addict, are you looking at me???
Alternative lifestyle = live in cesspit
Can travel = desperate
Can't travel = convicted drink driver
9" cock = contact lenses in the wrong way again
VVWE = dyslexic
Likes bareback = banned from Boots the chemist for shoplifting
Swings both ways = course you do......it's a fukin swing you dozy bastard. If it didn't it would be a fukin catapult! |
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