FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > how do you sell yourself
how do you sell yourself
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Im interested to know how people sell themselves when sending that first message. Personally i find the whole online chat a complete pain in ths ass, i lose alot of possible new friends from being crap at sending a message.
A mate of mine simply sends abuse to wonen and gets meets from it??? Is this mad or what?
i always try to be honest but i think it comes across boring or maybe too pushy??
be interesting to hear your stories |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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it's not just about the message, people will often check the profile first. And that alone would put us off.
Equally if your messages are as littered with typos as your profile is it just comes across as lazy. |
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Yea this tablet is just awful when typing, and becausein the profile edit as you type your text goes off page trying to scroll it but the page moves etc its a pain in the ass. So i agree the typos look bad.
Blame the tools.
Interesting to hear that typos could affect your chances of meeting someone. Lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A mate of mine simply sends abuse to wonen and gets meets from it??? Is this mad or what?
Seriously!  Not an approach I'd recommend following. "
Neither would I. Surprised he's not been reported by a few for that approach |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me, typos do affect your chances. Rightly or wrongly, my view is that if you're too lazy to ensure the message is correctly spelt etc then there's no guarantee you're going to be any less lazy on a meet.
I am impressed by someone who takes pride in everything they do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Being abusive might get a response but usually not the one you want followed by a block and report to admin!! I can't understand guys who think this approach is acceptable. At the end of the day, if someone is interested they'll reply, if they're not they won't. Good luck  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yea this tablet is just awful when typing, and becausein the profile edit as you type your text goes off page trying to scroll it but the page moves etc its a pain in the ass. So i agree the typos look bad.
Blame the tools.
Interesting to hear that typos could affect your chances of meeting someone. Lol"
Why lol?
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"it's not just about the message, people will often check the profile first. And that alone would put us off.
Equally if your messages are as littered with typos as your profile is it just comes across as lazy."
Completely agree ... some guys just don't get it ... you have to say something to stand out from the crowd and get noticed ... I can see why the abuse might work ... it certainly might evoke a reaction !!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I never really thought about the typo thing, i just treat it like predictive text.
If i started making sure everything was perfect it would be a false representation of who i am. Haha"
It's not about making everything perfect it's about looking like you've made an effort.
To be honest based on the attitude in this thread you really need to revisit your sense of entitlement. |
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I disagree. Im just enjoying discussing it. People who know me understand my sense of humour.......
This is my point really, i find it difficult to comd across in thd right way.
Ive had meets so im not asking as a newbie. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Being abusive might get a response but usually not the one you want followed by a block and report to admin!! I can't understand guys who think this approach is acceptable. At the end of the day, if someone is interested they'll reply, if they're not they won't. Good luck "
Each to their own |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was just highlighting that people approach this differently,
i find it frustrating that its easier to meet someone in a bar than it is on a site where people are openly looking to meet. "
My advice, get blitzing, I have said it a few times , copy and paste a message and send to every profile you like. There is no point wasting your time trying to craft a witty and personal message wait will most likely get deleted. |
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"Yea this tablet is just awful when typing, and becausein the profile edit as you type your text goes off page trying to scroll it but the page moves etc its a pain in the ass. So i agree the typos look bad.
Blame the tools.
Interesting to hear that typos could affect your chances of meeting someone. Lol"
Yes they can!
I met my now boyfriend via the site. He was impressed by how my profile was written I was impressed by his first message. My first reply to him was along the lines hold on a minute while I compose myself I'm not used to receiving messages in sentences and no text speak.
Irony? English is his SIXTH language! |
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The copy and paste routine. Lol. Quality. I thought about this tactic, it makes sense. But you risk missing someone you would genuinely like to give the effort too.
with my profile being faceless i have sent my pics through with a get in touch if you like message and tried that option too. Which worked ok too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i don't sell myself
I don't message everyone only people that i really like, i'll make an effort with it, triple check it and add a face pic
most of the time i'll get a reply even if that person/persons aren't interested in me
some single blokes on here get really worked up that they've sent a thousand bad messages and had two replies
frankie say's relax!
oh and your mate probably gets more blocks than replies too  |
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"i don't sell myself
I don't message everyone only people that i really like, i'll make an effort with it, triple check it and add a face pic
most of the time i'll get a reply even if that person/persons aren't interested in me
some single blokes on here get really worked up that they've sent a thousand bad messages and had two replies
frankie say's relax!
oh and your mate probably gets more blocks than replies too "
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The only time i say i get "worked up" not that i do really is when someone is messaging you and then bang they read your nextnmessage and then start blanking. This happens alot i find. Fair enough dont reply initiallly but why chat then just stop that can be bafflibg |
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By *issy louWoman
over a year ago
Staffordshire Moorlands |
"For me, typos do affect your chances. Rightly or wrongly, my view is that if you're too lazy to ensure the message is correctly spelt etc then there's no guarantee you're going to be any less lazy on a meet.
I am impressed by someone who takes pride in everything they do."
Definitely goes for me too! |
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With regards to my mate i dont think your getting the
oint reallly.
He decided to send abuse after months of struggling to get anywhere, he thought fuck it,
low and behold he got replies and now he has a mrs from it.
So you cant quash this tactic when it can work |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My erstwhile partner in crime here had a profile elsewhere that drew my attention as it was very standoffish; no pictures, he wasn't looking to meet, sounded rather disinterested... but obviously very well-read, intelligent etc, the way it was composed. So it tickled my sense of humour, and I sent him a few suggestions to improve his profile (taking the piss). We got chatting and skyping, met - and clicked majorly.
Three years on we're still in touch, having the odd meet.
Just to show sometimes different (even non-)approaches also can work. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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fair point if it worked for him great, the way to see if it works for you is to try it too,
but would you like to receive a message that just said fuck you? i wouldn't |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A mate of mine simply sends abuse to wonen and gets meets from it??? Is this mad or what?
Seriously! Not an approach I'd recommend following. "
i agree however some women get off on it. |
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Hya hunn
I agree with Crystal wheels to be honest.
It really "IS" a case of first impressions count. If you went for a interview as a lawyer for instance. You wouldn't turn up in your trackies and hoody, and go in the room shouting " Yo man. " would you.
You say that your friends know how you are. And they know your sense of humour.
But nobody knows you on fab.
so your attitude you need to tone it down a little..
I've been so off put by ready a profile.
A profile that reads. I'm looking for a fuck.
Or who wants some cock.
This simply Is a red light warning to me.
I simply block.
Go to a local library, or use a friend's computer. Go back to your profile. And redo it. As this really is your shop window to draw some sexy fabbers in. Ignore wot your friend has said previous. I would of blocked him. As I find this affensive and very rude of him.
There are some amazing profiles on fab. Take a look observe how they've carefully taken the pride and time out to write it. And then do a retype makeover.
You will only get out wot you put in.
good luck hunn.
Happy fabbing future.
Louise |
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The reason i started the thread is because i find the polotics interesting its not a cry for help like. Lol
Keep the topic going people, talk to the room not just me etc.
Ive changed my profile a fair few times, usually depending on my general mood in life. Similar to facebook status's i suppose. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A mate of mine simply sends abuse to wonen and gets meets from it??? Is this mad or what?
Seriously! Not an approach I'd recommend following. "
When out and about my mate uses that approach?? Just starts abusing groups of girls, they argue back, next thing he's pulled???... Always amazes me that it works |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A mate of mine simply sends abuse to wonen and gets meets from it??? Is this mad or what?
Seriously! Not an approach I'd recommend following.
When out and about my mate uses that approach?? Just starts abusing groups of girls, they argue back, next thing he's pulled???... Always amazes me that it works"
sounds like reverse psychology. act uninterested and they`ll try and get you interested |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A mate of mine simply sends abuse to wonen and gets meets from it??? Is this mad or what?
Seriously! Not an approach I'd recommend following.
When out and about my mate uses that approach?? Just starts abusing groups of girls, they argue back, next thing he's pulled???... Always amazes me that it works
sounds like reverse psychology. act uninterested and they`ll try and get you interested "
It could work, I suppose it's a novel approach, I might try it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's the hardest thing to do especially when you don't know the person! Do they like forward messages or a how are you? Hmmmm! Hard to judge anybody on 1 message but most do! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's the hardest thing to do especially when you don't know the person! Do they like forward messages or a how are you? Hmmmm! Hard to judge anybody on 1 message but most do! "
This is a great point, it's tricky to weigh the message correctly when you don't know them. Do you look to just chat, do you ask them out for a drink or do you just ask them when they are coming to yours? I understand the OP's issue here, it's tricky to get off the starting block sometimes, and I'm pretty certain that I am less likely to leave in too many (if any) typos.
Good luck on your meet tonight though buddy haha. |
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I really dislike and won't reply to messages that are like a CV 'Blonde hair, blue eyes, 5'8, I am a KS2 teacher and before that I worked in france, in my spare time I like to walk my dog and get my bits out on cam' etc etc.
Also messages with just 'Hi, how are you? what you up to?' are becoming really tedious and why, why, why is it always then followed with 'How you finding the site/have you had much luck on here/had many meets?' what on earth am I supposed to reply to that? I thought that would be made obvious by my veri's.
Bad grammar puts me off too.
Maybe nobody should message me at all  unless it's a joke/funny, I'm a sucker for funny guys |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I write nice messages and get nothing back.
Mrnotts writes things like "get your coat gal you've pulled ". 9 times out of ten he tends to get a reply and not a negative one  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I really dislike and won't reply to messages that are like a CV 'Blonde hair, blue eyes, 5'8, I am a KS2 teacher and before that I worked in france, in my spare time I like to walk my dog and get my bits out on cam' etc etc.
Also messages with just 'Hi, how are you? what you up to?' are becoming really tedious and why, why, why is it always then followed with 'How you finding the site/have you had much luck on here/had many meets?' what on earth am I supposed to reply to that? I thought that would be made obvious by my veri's.
Bad grammar puts me off too.
Maybe nobody should message me at all unless it's a joke/funny, I'm a sucker for funny guys "
You couldn't have put that better 'a sucker for funny guys', bloody lucky funny fellows then! Slurp! Lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Put simply, think how you would want to be treated and treat others as such. If you want respect, you have to show it.
How you mate gets away with being like that I'll never understand.
As for copy and paste messages. Personally I wouldn't.
I'd consider it lazy and this place is as much about making friends as the sex. Although everyones take on that is different.
If someone catches your eye, then they're worth a bit of effort. If that's given and you can sell yourself well enough to noticed from the crowd, then the rewards will be worth it. |
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"I really dislike and won't reply to messages that are like a CV 'Blonde hair, blue eyes, 5'8, I am a KS2 teacher and before that I worked in france, in my spare time I like to walk my dog and get my bits out on cam' etc etc.
Also messages with just 'Hi, how are you? what you up to?' are becoming really tedious and why, why, why is it always then followed with 'How you finding the site/have you had much luck on here/had many meets?' what on earth am I supposed to reply to that? I thought that would be made obvious by my veri's.
Bad grammar puts me off too.
Maybe nobody should message me at all unless it's a joke/funny, I'm a sucker for funny guys
You couldn't have put that better 'a sucker for funny guys', bloody lucky funny fellows then! Slurp! Lol "
It wasn't intentional but shhh, don't tell anybody.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I really dislike and won't reply to messages that are like a CV 'Blonde hair, blue eyes, 5'8, I am a KS2 teacher and before that I worked in france, in my spare time I like to walk my dog and get my bits out on cam' etc etc.
Also messages with just 'Hi, how are you? what you up to?' are becoming really tedious and why, why, why is it always then followed with 'How you finding the site/have you had much luck on here/had many meets?' what on earth am I supposed to reply to that? I thought that would be made obvious by my veri's.
Bad grammar puts me off too.
Maybe nobody should message me at all unless it's a joke/funny, I'm a sucker for funny guys
You couldn't have put that better 'a sucker for funny guys', bloody lucky funny fellows then! Slurp! Lol
It wasn't intentional but shhh, don't tell anybody. "
Ok I'll keep ssssh about the shhhhucking!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The only 'selling' (if you want to call it that!) I do of myself is my profile and pictures.
Anything else that happens on site is simply banter, or bollocks posted in the forums.
As for messages I send way less than I receive - but then I don't use the site as my main source of physical fun - so those that do will operate differently I guess. |
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"The only time i say i get "worked up" not that i do really is when someone is messaging you and then bang they read your nextnmessage and then start blanking. This happens alot i find. Fair enough dont reply initiallly but why chat then just stop that can be bafflibg"
I've done this, simply because they've said something to offend/annoy me to the point I can't be bothered to talk any more. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I really dislike and won't reply to messages that are like a CV 'Blonde hair, blue eyes, 5'8, I am a KS2 teacher and before that I worked in france, in my spare time I like to walk my dog and get my bits out on cam' etc etc.
Also messages with just 'Hi, how are you? what you up to?' are becoming really tedious and why, why, why is it always then followed with 'How you finding the site/have you had much luck on here/had many meets?' what on earth am I supposed to reply to that? I thought that would be made obvious by my veri's.
Bad grammar puts me off too.
Maybe nobody should message me at all unless it's a joke/funny, I'm a sucker for funny guys "
What do you say in the first mails you send to people? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I really dislike and won't reply to messages that are like a CV 'Blonde hair, blue eyes, 5'8, I am a KS2 teacher and before that I worked in france, in my spare time I like to walk my dog and get my bits out on cam' etc etc.
Also messages with just 'Hi, how are you? what you up to?' are becoming really tedious and why, why, why is it always then followed with 'How you finding the site/have you had much luck on here/had many meets?' what on earth am I supposed to reply to that? I thought that would be made obvious by my veri's.
Bad grammar puts me off too.
Maybe nobody should message me at all unless it's a joke/funny, I'm a sucker for funny guys "
What do you expect from a first message? Do you ever make the first move?? |
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"it's not just about the message, people will often check the profile first. And that alone would put us off.
Equally if your messages are as littered with typos as your profile is it just comes across as lazy."
I always check peoples profiles before messaging them. If they have a limit on their profile thats says, for example, they dont meet anyone over 55 (ie me) then I dont contact them, but it will still show I've looked at their profile ( and now they think I'm just perving.. well that too ) |
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Selling yourself? One word. Ebay.......
Alternatively, why don't you adopt the position of buyer..... Let others sell themselves to you. Some flipping of what you perceive to be the 'norm' might help. Good luck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Selling yourself? One word. Ebay.......
Alternatively, why don't you adopt the position of buyer..... Let others sell themselves to you. Some flipping of what you perceive to be the 'norm' might help. Good luck. "
I agree, some men try to hard in here and end up kissing arse, just be yourself and don't be a sycophant |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just try and be me - for a number of reasons, the main one being I fucking ROCK and if people see that then its all good, if they don't see that, I understand, because I am not arrogant enough to believe that everyone can appeal to all people.
The other reason is if I am not true to who I am - when it comes to meeting - what the fuck do you expect to happen when the person turning up to meet you finds out you are NOT what you have bullshitted so long about? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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According to my beloved.... It helps when I'm on my knees and preoccupied.... Mainly because I'm quiet! But also I give an epic..... Oh you know the rest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"According to my beloved.... It helps when I'm on my knees and preoccupied.... Mainly because I'm quiet! But also I give an epic..... Oh you know the rest."
A quiet and epic... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just try and be me - for a number of reasons, the main one being I fucking ROCK and if people see that then its all good, if they don't see that, I understand, because I am not arrogant enough to believe that everyone can appeal to all people.
The other reason is if I am not true to who I am - when it comes to meeting - what the fuck do you expect to happen when the person turning up to meet you finds out you are NOT what you have bullshitted so long about?"
I totally agree and I think its the reason some people no show, for fear of being found out they're not what they portrayed themselves to be. Sad really. Be yourself, everyone else is taken |
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