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How to orgasm
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Are there any other people (women mostly) who find it difficult to cum?
I'm not very sensitive and don't cum easily. It takes really trusting a person, being very turned on and having just the right technique to make me cum.
It's not too bad when I masturbate, but I have to watch porn and get REALLY turned on to do it quickly, otherwise it can take up to 30 mins of stimulation.
With someone else doing the job, sometimes it just wont happen at all. It's really hard to switch off and just enjoy it. I have to let myself be very vulnerable and get really into the moment.
Does anyone else find they have the same problem or better has anyone been in this position and overcome (pun) it and can now orgasm with relative ease? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have the same problem.. I sometimes wonder if I have used my vibrator too much and thats the only way I will orgasm."
I often think this. Sometimes if you find a certain way that will get you off, any other form of stimulation won't do it for you as your body is used to reacting to one certain thing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Orgasms are mostly mental aren't they?
it's a lot to do with how comfortable you are in the situation, with the person and with yourself. Orgasm has a lot do to with the ability to relax and let go during sexual acts.
I realise that as a bloke posting on this thread I may look like a know it all tw*t. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Orgasms are mostly mental aren't they?
it's a lot to do with how comfortable you are in the situation, with the person and with yourself. Orgasm has a lot do to with the ability to relax and let go during sexual acts.
I realise that as a bloke posting on this thread I may look like a know it all tw*t."
Yeah bugger off you!
Haha JK. Yeah, I think sometimes some people are just better at switching off and enjoying the moment than others. I feel like my mind is going a million miles an hour sometimes. Especially during sex/foreplay....thinking 'do i look ok, are they doing it how I want, it's cold in here, how long have we got'... too much to think about! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well I'm no sex therapist but I've been with a few ladies that have had this problem and managed to help a few through it. There are some things you can do and I imagine there's some great web pages too. A trick I use is tantric g spot massage, which helps to relax you incredibly before becoming sexual. Other than that, you'd be surprised to know that the tensing of your body when you get excited is often counterproductive, I believe. It serves to restrain you and gain control over your orgasm, which is the opposite of what you want. |
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"Orgasms are mostly mental aren't they?
it's a lot to do with how comfortable you are in the situation, with the person and with yourself. Orgasm has a lot do to with the ability to relax and let go during sexual acts.
I realise that as a bloke posting on this thread I may look like a know it all tw*t."
No I agree, it is about letting go and going beyond the point where you would normally stop someone taking you, but as in all things people have different tolerances, some women can orgasm thru oral but I very rarely do, some cannot from penetration yet I can.
Maybe it is the fact that if you use a vibe/wand that your body gets used to it, personally I don't use any toys so fingers are still very stimulating to me   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm the same. I find it hard to cum during penetration , but oral usually makes me orgasm. I have only been with one man who managed it through full penetration, and that was with me riding him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Same here. I hardly ever orgasm through penetration and I'm one of those women who isn't overly keen on receiving oral.
I squirt/gush so I still really enjoy sex and the orgasm isn't a problem for me to be honest.
I can when I use my vibrator on my clit though. |
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"Are there any other people (women mostly) who find it difficult to cum?
I'm not very sensitive and don't cum easily. It takes really trusting a person, being very turned on and having just the right technique to make me cum.
It's not too bad when I masturbate, but I have to watch porn and get REALLY turned on to do it quickly, otherwise it can take up to 30 mins of stimulation.
With someone else doing the job, sometimes it just wont happen at all. It's really hard to switch off and just enjoy it. I have to let myself be very vulnerable and get really into the moment.
Does anyone else find they have the same problem or better has anyone been in this position and overcome (pun) it and can now orgasm with relative ease?"
Franchine only needs a touch, caress and kissing and she is there |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I feel like my mind is going a million miles an hour sometimes. Especially during sex/foreplay....thinking 'do i look ok, are they doing it how I want, it's cold in here, how long have we got'... too much to think about!"
This is me to a tee... I tend to over think everything to the point I have NEVER came through penetration. Maybe its became a self fulfilling prophecy as I now believe the only way its possible for me is with a wand x |
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I'm the same. Very rarely through penetration. Now and again with oral. Every time with a toy.
I think I need a hell of a lot of stimulation. I almost orgasmed at a meet last week. That's with more than one person though...
I tend to gush/squirt a lot instead.
To be honest.. I'm glad I'm not easy to orgasm as I have a build up that's amazing..that lasts for ever. Lol! Sex is extremely enjoyable for me without a finale.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had the same issue for years, the more I try sometimes the further away the orgasm gets lol and find I just get frustrated with a guy doing it for me as he never quite stays in the right place for long enough...
Ex hubby finally got it right with his tongue.....
I do find though that i need to get my head involved and I have discovered bondage.....take away my ability to interfere and put me in the position of having to trust my partner and add to that actually telling them that they are in the right spot and bingo I'm squirting and cuming from clit stimulus like a train....key is allowing yourself to let go....find someone who does fancy things with ropes all over your body, Hell of a turn on x |
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"I've had the same issue for years, the more I try sometimes the further away the orgasm gets lol and find I just get frustrated with a guy doing it for me as he never quite stays in the right place for long enough...
Ex hubby finally got it right with his tongue.....
I do find though that i need to get my head involved and I have discovered bondage.....take away my ability to interfere and put me in the position of having to trust my partner and add to that actually telling them that they are in the right spot and bingo I'm squirting and cuming from clit stimulus like a train....key is allowing yourself to let go....find someone who does fancy things with ropes all over your body, Hell of a turn on x"
We would love to meet someone who knows their way around ropes etc. It all sounds very erotic to us...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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sometimes i do. try using a rabbit vibrator, then rub it with your finger.
have met a few men who were good at making me cum with their finger or tongue, use lots of lube you get a better sensation. you have to be relaxed but also tense your muscles from the waist down. |
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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago
Falkirk |
I know a lady who had this problem but she got past it by learning to let go. Like some have said, she was tensing up and not switching her brain off. After a while of touching and teasing, she would relax and let go........then she was a very happy lady and she even learnt some things about her body she never knew were possible  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hell no it's an artform and done by the right person very safe and wonderfully liberating.....look at verifications and contact the people who wrote them I did and it's fabulous....go for it bind the body free the mind release the control and explode |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It does A lack of oxygen also does if done it the right way. It makes the nerves hyper sensitive.
Missionary is also good, believe it or not, if you position yourself to rub the clit as you move inwards, or position to rub the clit continually but that's more effort for the guy. |
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"Are there any other people (women mostly) who find it difficult to cum?
I'm not very sensitive and don't cum easily. It takes really trusting a person, being very turned on and having just the right technique to make me cum.
It's not too bad when I masturbate, but I have to watch porn and get REALLY turned on to do it quickly, otherwise it can take up to 30 mins of stimulation.
With someone else doing the job, sometimes it just wont happen at all. It's really hard to switch off and just enjoy it. I have to let myself be very vulnerable and get really into the moment.
Does anyone else find they have the same problem or better has anyone been in this position and overcome (pun) it and can now orgasm with relative ease?"
Have the same problem, and have yet to overcome  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have the same problem.. I sometimes wonder if I have used my vibrator too much and thats the only way I will orgasm."
I read that somewhere !! I sometimes cum quick and sometimes I don't .... Just enjoy it I say , and if the help of a toy is required sometimes ... Doesn't that add to the fun ? ... That's why I have a wand sometimes if I want to cum really hard I'll use it why I'm being fucked !! Both get pleasure !
Xxxxx |
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"I do wonder if being blindfolded wud help heighten sensations??"
It does but only really done that in the club we attend in the dungeon. I think I was too sensitive to hearing what was happening around me. Lol! X |
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"It does A lack of oxygen also does if done it the right way. It makes the nerves hyper sensitive.
Missionary is also good, believe it or not, if you position yourself to rub the clit as you move inwards, or position to rub the clit continually but that's more effort for the guy."
That does get me going big time. Its just the pressure for the man to keep it up continually like you say...
I've orgasmed rarely like this. x |
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"I have the same problem.. I sometimes wonder if I have used my vibrator too much and thats the only way I will orgasm.
I read that somewhere !! I sometimes cum quick and sometimes I don't .... Just enjoy it I say , and if the help of a toy is required sometimes ... Doesn't that add to the fun ? ... That's why I have a wand sometimes if I want to cum really hard I'll use it why I'm being fucked !! Both get pleasure !
Xxxxx "
Toys guarantee me an orgasm every time whilst getting penetrated from my man. I wish I could throw them all away though sometimes and not need them.
I do feel bad as he has never had a woman not orgasm for him everytime apart from me..
Good job he loves me...haha! |
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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago
near kings lynn |
I am better now bringing myself to orgasm with a powerful end result now. Normally with a toy or two and either porn or just the thoughts of some sexy occasions in my head.
With someone its much harder for me to orgasm hard. Kits of little ones yes. But not often strong powerful ones x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can go from 0 to orgasm in less than a minute on my own. Very rarely ever use toys.
No orgasms with meets but it doesn't bother me at all, it's still fun.
My guy makes me shake and my legs turn to jelly for ages. It scrambles my brain, really weird feeling. But very very good.
Good to know there's lots of us the same. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well I'm no sex therapist but I've been with a few ladies that have had this problem and managed to help a few through it. There are some things you can do and I imagine there's some great web pages too. A trick I use is tantric g spot massage, which helps to relax you incredibly before becoming sexual. Other than that, you'd be surprised to know that the tensing of your body when you get excited is often counterproductive, I believe. It serves to restrain you and gain control over your orgasm, which is the opposite of what you want."
I am happy for you to carry out further research on me! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well I'm no sex therapist but I've been with a few ladies that have had this problem and managed to help a few through it. There are some things you can do and I imagine there's some great web pages too. A trick I use is tantric g spot massage, which helps to relax you incredibly before becoming sexual. Other than that, you'd be surprised to know that the tensing of your body when you get excited is often counterproductive, I believe. It serves to restrain you and gain control over your orgasm, which is the opposite of what you want."
I'd agree with that as one needs to relax and I find that incredibly difficult so I have never orgasmed. I can cum on my own as I believe they are two different things and I only started squirting when I started swinging, guess that means my past partners weren't as experienced as they thought or adventurous either |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do wonder if being blindfolded wud help heighten sensations??"
Yes as you have no idea what they are going to do plus for me as I cannot see them or them see my facial expressions, its easier to relax |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've had the same issue for years, the more I try sometimes the further away the orgasm gets lol and find I just get frustrated with a guy doing it for me as he never quite stays in the right place for long enough...
Ex hubby finally got it right with his tongue.....
I do find though that i need to get my head involved and I have discovered bondage.....take away my ability to interfere and put me in the position of having to trust my partner and add to that actually telling them that they are in the right spot and bingo I'm squirting and cuming from clit stimulus like a train....key is allowing yourself to let go....find someone who does fancy things with ropes all over your body, Hell of a turn on x"
Yeah. I posted a thread a couple of weeks back about how to dom/sub. I'm particularly interested in letting myself be submissive. I think I may find it easier to lose myself in the moment if I fully hand over control to someone else. |
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and there are even rope workshops and suspension workshops too 