FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > lost my confidence in my blow jobs
lost my confidence in my blow jobs
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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In my life I have given seven men blow jobs. Apart from my first one, all the other guys have said how great they are, the best ever had and where did i learn to do them so amazing and so on. I have no confidence so this gives me a boost that I can do something good in the bedroom. I told a guy on fab about this and he said "every guy says that" and laughed. I felt stupid that I ever thought I was actually good at something and now i have just totally lost what little confidence I had. Do guys say bj's are good when they are not?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In my life I have given seven men blow jobs. Apart from my first one, all the other guys have said how great they are, the best ever had and where did i learn to do them so amazing and so on. I have no confidence so this gives me a boost that I can do something good in the bedroom. I told a guy on fab about this and he said "every guy says that" and laughed. I felt stupid that I ever thought I was actually good at something and now i have just totally lost what little confidence I had. Do guys say bj's are good when they are not? "
I don't think you should pay that guy any attention, he sounds like a bit of a prat to me. Don't let one idiot ruin your confidence.
You are currently 6-1 up on praise, and the first guy was more than likely thinking it, and just didn't say anything, which gives you 100% success! |
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I would say that from a guys point of view, there is no such thing as a bad blowjob - just some are better than others..Good to see you take pride in technique. If you make em cum, you're definitely doing something right.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would say that from a guys point of view, there is no such thing as a bad blowjob - just some are better than others..Good to see you take pride in technique. If you make em cum, you're definitely doing something right. "
Agreed and don't let one man ruin things for you .good luck x |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
Ignore him.
He'd still have jumped at the chance if you'd offered. He was probably hoping you'd offer to prove it, or suggest giving him a bj so he could give you honest feedback.
If a man says he enjoyed it, take it at face value. If he didn't then he should have had the balls to tell you what he wanted. Not your problem. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I would say that from a guys point of view, there is no such thing as a bad blowjob - just some are better than others..Good to see you take pride in technique. If you make em cum, you're definitely doing something right. "
Thanks. When I talked about it with my husband he said there is no such thing as a bad blow job as well. But mine are exceptionally good. ... I suppose husband's have to say that though  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Come on ??? Really one guy says that and it knocks you when 6 others have said how great they are on the other side the guy that said it hasn't had the pleasure of meeting you so chin up hun xxx or mouth open lol xxx  ignore forget and carry on sounds like ur doing a fab job xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No, can't say I'd like about it. I try to be subtle if I'm not enjoying it. Rather than saying "this is sh*te" I'll ask if she can try doing it another way, to see how that feels. Benefits the both of us that way. I get a great BJ and they learn what I like. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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been told that by guys before oh another one guys give them better than woman
dissapointing but don't we all at some point try to let peole think good things
I wouldn't let it spoil how you felt before the guys all probably did enjoyed, if you enjoyed giving them xx |
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Ok, let's ask a different question... How many guys have told someone that the blow job they'd just received was crap? I know I've never told the truth when it wasn't up to much. If it wasn't a one-off I'd instruct them on future occasions.
Just as most of you women aren't totally honest when it comes to a guy's technique if it's poor, very very few men will say your bj is crap. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In my life I have given seven men blow jobs. Apart from my first one, all the other guys have said how great they are, the best ever had and where did i learn to do them so amazing and so on. I have no confidence so this gives me a boost that I can do something good in the bedroom. I told a guy on fab about this and he said "every guy says that" and laughed. I felt stupid that I ever thought I was actually good at something and now i have just totally lost what little confidence I had. Do guys say bj's are good when they are not? "
First off y don't you have confidence? That's what you need to workout and work on not listening to a guy that u never meat, also I can't speak for others but me no I don't just say that I am truthful and tell it like it is even if it gets me in trouble so if your good I tell u that if your not I tell you but I am sure you are ok just work on the confidence bet of look to you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In my life I have given seven men blow jobs. Apart from my first one, all the other guys have said how great they are, the best ever had and where did i learn to do them so amazing and so on. I have no confidence so this gives me a boost that I can do something good in the bedroom. I told a guy on fab about this and he said "every guy says that" and laughed. I felt stupid that I ever thought I was actually good at something and now i have just totally lost what little confidence I had. Do guys say bj's are good when they are not? "
Btw in your pics you look great |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No, can't say I'd like about it. I try to be subtle if I'm not enjoying it. Rather than saying "this is sh*te" I'll ask if she can try doing it another way, to see how that feels. Benefits the both of us that way. I get a great BJ and they learn what I like."
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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First off y don't you have confidence? That's what you need to workout and work on not listening to a guy that u never meat, also I can't speak for others but me no I don't just say that I am truthful and tell it like it is even if it gets me in trouble so if your good I tell u that if your not I tell you but I am sure you are ok just work on the confidence bet of look to you "
Thanks. I know my confidence is very very low. I tend to dwell on one bad comment and ignore a hundred good ones. You are right and it drives my husband crazy. I have had a couple of bad comments in my inbox and some lovely ones regarding my post. But which ones will I be dwelling on..... You can probably guess
X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
First off y don't you have confidence? That's what you need to workout and work on not listening to a guy that u never meat, also I can't speak for others but me no I don't just say that I am truthful and tell it like it is even if it gets me in trouble so if your good I tell u that if your not I tell you but I am sure you are ok just work on the confidence bet of look to you
Thanks. I know my confidence is very very low. I tend to dwell on one bad comment and ignore a hundred good ones. You are right and it drives my husband crazy. I have had a couple of bad comments in my inbox and some lovely ones regarding my post. But which ones will I be dwelling on..... You can probably guess
X"
Yes I understand that most people are the same they could get 100 good ones but the one bad one is the one you remember and hurts to be honest I can't see y u aren't more confidant your bloody lovely |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can't believe we are actually engaging in a thread like this !
How can any of us comment on how good a blow job is from the op if we haven't had one from her ?
Some guys like hard bj's , teeth etc....
Others like softer more sensual.
There is no right or wrong , good or bad .
And yes , we would guess no man would tell a woman giving a bj it's crap - although on occasion I have asked the more vociferous to ease up with the teeth !
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It's perfectly possible that this guy actually believes what he says - he may not like BJ's at all himself and not understand that anyone does...
I have met a few blokes who have simply admitted that a BJ just doesn't really do anything for them, but they don't want to appear abnormal of ungrateful by saying so, funny how even in such a thing we all want to be "normal".
In essence, everyone is different, you are never going to please everyone anyway, I've had disappointing sex with folks others have said are mind-blowing and vice versa, it would be rather boring if we all wanted the same! |
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First off y don't you have confidence? That's what you need to workout and work on not listening to a guy that u never meat, also I can't speak for others but me no I don't just say that I am truthful and tell it like it is even if it gets me in trouble so if your good I tell u that if your not I tell you but I am sure you are ok just work on the confidence bet of look to you
Thanks. I know my confidence is very very low. I tend to dwell on one bad comment and ignore a hundred good ones. You are right and it drives my husband crazy. I have had a couple of bad comments in my inbox and some lovely ones regarding my post. But which ones will I be dwelling on..... You can probably guess
X"
If your confidence is that low why set yourself up as a target like this? |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
"In my life I have given seven men blow jobs. Apart from my first one, all the other guys have said how great they are, the best ever had and where did i learn to do them so amazing and so on. I have no confidence so this gives me a boost that I can do something good in the bedroom. I told a guy on fab about this and he said "every guy says that" and laughed. I felt stupid that I ever thought I was actually good at something and now i have just totally lost what little confidence I had. Do guys say bj's are good when they are not? "
does you clit react to being licked all the time in the very same way? As erotic, as nice as it is, as good as the thought is that someones going into you knickers... sometimes it just doesnt get you off or you fancy something else.
Good/bad BJ's; yeah there are some, and like everything else technique has a lot to do with it. If all a woman wants to do though is suck your dick; its a bit like sex in the same position, you'll quickly get bored.
You must have other things up your sleve so why worry!!??  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In my life I have given seven men blow jobs. Apart from my first one, all the other guys have said how great they are, the best ever had and where did i learn to do them so amazing and so on. I have no confidence so this gives me a boost that I can do something good in the bedroom. I told a guy on fab about this and he said "every guy says that" and laughed. I felt stupid that I ever thought I was actually good at something and now i have just totally lost what little confidence I had. Do guys say bj's are good when they are not? "
Most may but if I get a good Bj I say it was good if it was bad I tell the woman too lol praise where praise due! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I still don't understand this "have to be the best" mentality. If you and the guys have all had a good time then what does it matter if you are the best??? How does one measure this?? As far as I was aware sex isn't a competition.
If everyone is smiling at the end of the meet, it is a success. Why dwell on what others think?
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I'd ignore him as one mans meat is another mans poison but I have to say if your confidence is really that low is this really the site for you as it can be brutal on here at times even for the uber confident  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My blowjobs are shit, because I don't like cum in my mouth, so guys, ignore any comments about them that say otherwise lol. I do suck and lick/nibble cock, I enjoy that, hope they have but the cumming, sorry not my thing.
Is something new I want to do to a guy, but its probably not new here, but when I saw it done on a tv programme, the guy loved it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe he thought you were being cocky in saying you were really good and hadnt had any complaints??"
That's a good point actually. I'm a confident person but I wouldn't dream of telling a prospective meet that I was good at something as this raises their expectations. I would rather they come to their own conclusions. Doesn't sound like the actions of someone lacking in confidence to me. |
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By *aisy100Woman
over a year ago
wakefield |
"Maybe he thought you were being cocky in saying you were really good and hadnt had any complaints??
That's a good point actually. I'm a confident person but I wouldn't dream of telling a prospective meet that I was good at something as this raises their expectations. I would rather they come to their own conclusions. Doesn't sound like the actions of someone lacking in confidence to me."
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Maybe he thought you were being cocky in saying you were really good and hadnt had any complaints??
That's a good point actually. I'm a confident person but I wouldn't dream of telling a prospective meet that I was good at something as this raises their expectations. I would rather they come to their own conclusions. Doesn't sound like the actions of someone lacking in confidence to me."
I suppose you would need to hear the whole conversation really. He was not a potential meet.in fact I had told him straight up he was not my type. We were just chatting like you do and he was asking me stuff. Also I wouldnt say I am not confident if I was. |
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i know as a man i wont tell a women she gives a great blow job if she in fact did not give a good one..i say that if you truly love to suck cock and you can get yourself hot or more from sucking on a cock more than likely you give a great blow job.. if you give it to just git it over with or because you think you have to then you probably dont do a good job |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Being bad at giving BJs really isn't the end of the world. I imagine that it isn't the most difficult skill to learn.
I've never remarked about a woman's BJ skills, so if you've been explicitly complimented about your skills, then you're probably pretty good.
Of course, I'd be happy to confirm this... if you're game |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Maybe he thought you were being cocky in saying you were really good and hadnt had any complaints??
That's a good point actually. I'm a confident person but I wouldn't dream of telling a prospective meet that I was good at something as this raises their expectations. I would rather they come to their own conclusions. Doesn't sound like the actions of someone lacking in confidence to me.
I suppose you would need to hear the whole conversation really. He was not a potential meet.in fact I had told him straight up he was not my type. We were just chatting like you do and he was asking me stuff. Also I wouldnt say I am not confident if I was. "
You'd turned him down and your taking something he said to knock your confidence as gospel truth?
Forget what he said. Even if he said it without an ulterior motive, he can really only speak for himself with any certainty.
I can't speak for all women, can you? So why would he be able to speak for all men? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"been told that by guys before oh another one guys give them better than woman
dissapointing but don't we all at some point try to let peole think good things
I wouldn't let it spoil how you felt before the guys all probably did enjoyed, if you enjoyed giving them xx"
As an orally bi guy, my experience is that generally men do give better, deeper head. Having a cock does give one a head start (pun unintentional) in knowing what feels good just as I suspect I am unlikely to eat pussy as well as a woman. That said, the only bjs I have not enjoyed were because of teeth and given by enthusiastic but inexperienced guys and the most mind blowing, deeply sensous head I ever had was from a lady on Fab.
The fact you care about the pleasure you give and clearly enjoy a cock in your mouth bodes very well indeed. Finally, praise from hubby is praise indeed becuase of all the men you have blown, he is the most likely to suggest a change in technique.
Now stop fretting and do mankind a service by getting on with what you do best and seem made for!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In my life I have given seven men blow jobs. Apart from my first one, all the other guys have said how great they are, the best ever had and where did i learn to do them so amazing and so on. I have no confidence so this gives me a boost that I can do something good in the bedroom. I told a guy on fab about this and he said "every guy says that" and laughed. I felt stupid that I ever thought I was actually good at something and now i have just totally lost what little confidence I had. Do guys say bj's are good when they are not? "
If you're confidence comes from men telling you that you give a good bj then unfortunately I fear you have issues. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Got to remember first one is a learning curve, I'm sure the first time you got on a bike you could not ride it.....so as a bloke if you can make them cum then you are doing it totally right lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"i know as a man i wont tell a women she gives a great blow job if she in fact did not give a good one..i say that if you truly love to suck cock and you can get yourself hot or more from sucking on a cock more than likely you give a great blow job.. if you give it to just git it over with or because you think you have to then you probably dont do a good job"
I do love to suck cock !  so maybe they are ok  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No such thing as a bad blow job ?
Ofcourse there is
I've had a few women who have just been too rough and hard and gave awful blow jobs .
"
Maybe my husband's just been lucky then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In my life I have given seven men blow jobs. Apart from my first one, all the other guys have said how great they are, the best ever had and where did i learn to do them so amazing and so on. I have no confidence so this gives me a boost that I can do something good in the bedroom. I told a guy on fab about this and he said "every guy says that" and laughed. I felt stupid that I ever thought I was actually good at something and now i have just totally lost what little confidence I had. Do guys say bj's are good when they are not? "
I can't give you an honest answer until you've given me a blow job, so when are you free |
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Tell you what..if you suck my bf's cock we promise to give you an honest review
I'm just kidding, I know how you feel as I am never confident in this area. And to top things off now that I've found I rather like women too I have to cope with the worries of whether I'm doing it right for them too! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am a qualified blowjobologist , and I regularly run classes for ladies keen to learn good technique. To secure a place in one of my classes , which are free of charge by the way , all you have to do is PM me along with some pictures of you naked and I will consider your application .  |
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"I am a qualified blowjobologist , and I regularly run classes for ladies keen to learn good technique. To secure a place in one of my classes , which are free of charge by the way , all you have to do is PM me along with some pictures of you naked and I will consider your application . "
Free classes, altruism isn't dead! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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im sure they are perfectly fine.
as long as you enjoy it, and the person that receives them most, ie me, sorry, your hubby, then they can never be bad.
personally, i have never told a woman she has given a bad BJ, but i have subtly moved her head from my cock and gone to giving her oral instead.
nothing wrong with a little communication whilst its going on too, thats if you dont mind speaking with your mouth full that is lol.
pop round and we can all discuss it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tell you what..if you suck my bf's cock we promise to give you an honest review
I'm just kidding, I know how you feel as I am never confident in this area. And to top things off now that I've found I rather like women too I have to cope with the worries of whether I'm doing it right for them too!"
ah its all the same.
mouth n tongue, mouth n tongue lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In my life I have given seven men blow jobs. Apart from my first one, all the other guys have said how great they are, the best ever had and where did i learn to do them so amazing and so on. I have no confidence so this gives me a boost that I can do something good in the bedroom. I told a guy on fab about this and he said "every guy says that" and laughed. I felt stupid that I ever thought I was actually good at something and now i have just totally lost what little confidence I had. Do guys say bj's are good when they are not?
If you're confidence comes from men telling you that you give a good bj then unfortunately I fear you have issues. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i know as a man i wont tell a women she gives a great blow job if she in fact did not give a good one..i say that if you truly love to suck cock and you can get yourself hot or more from sucking on a cock more than likely you give a great blow job.. if you give it to just git it over with or because you think you have to then you probably dont do a good job
I do love to suck cock ! so maybe they are ok "
Im sure we can hold a contest. I'll be the judge |
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I think it depends on the guy tbh... Lots of people lie..... There is such a thing as a bad bj...... Iv had 1000s and I can count on one hand the good ones.... Ive only had one that was amazing.... I shook from my belly to my toenails |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it depends on the guy tbh... Lots of people lie..... There is such a thing as a bad bj...... Iv had 1000s and I can count on one hand the good ones.... Ive only had one that was amazing.... I shook from my belly to my toenails "
one has to wonder why you bother putting yourself through it  |
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Personally I've never felt the need to go round telling other people what people say about my sexual performance. You probably are good, but no guy is going to say your bad while your cock is in his mouth. Not sure how one guy can knock your confidence though. If your happy and the guys say there happy all well and good
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am sure your a wonderful person giving your best...thats all anyone can do .
Ignore criticism...sounds like a very selfish, shallow man to me. Why not invite around again, blindfold him, and get a rottweiller to suck him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends on the man and depends in the woman, I've had my fair share of bj's from different women and never cum from any of them, I just don't quite get there lol but I've enjoyed all of them.
I think that bloke was just being a dick, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP you are part of a couple, does it really matter what a random bloke off the internet says. As long as you a.d your partner get enjoyment then it doesn't matter.
I am not an oral sex expert, i dont want to be either, it really isn't important to me. Im not bothered about my level of sexual skill, i hope that people we meet enjoy our short time together but other than that i don't give much of a thought to it.
If some random guy knocks your confidence just because of this, how do you cope with rejection?
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
i was waiting to see how many men would be honest and how many would be "white knights".....
white knights win..........
have i had blow jobs that I haven't enjoyed..... yep!
would i tell that person.... nope!!!
I bet it is exactly the same for women... I bet you have had guys between your legs giving you oral.. and you have thought "oh my lord!" and not in a good way......
heck I bet even some of you have "faked an orgasm!!!"....... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ignore him.
He'd still have jumped at the chance if you'd offered. He was probably hoping you'd offer to prove it, or suggest giving him a bj so he could give you honest feedback.
If a man says he enjoyed it, take it at face value. If he didn't then he should have had the balls to tell you what he wanted. Not your problem. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There is no technique with BJs its just about enthusiasm. It helps if the cock isnt dog ugly too. "
If it looks ugly it's coming no where near me at all!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There is no technique with BJs its just about enthusiasm. It helps if the cock isnt dog ugly too.
so true
hairy  or fowl tasting
Fowl tasting? You've had one that tastes of chicken?"
That wouldnt be so bad. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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to all those questioning the OPs lack of confidence, she never said this has lost her confidence in real life, just in her BJ technique.
you can be the most confident person in the world, but if someone tells you you are no good at one particular thing, it can stop you doing it.
that said, i dont agree that 1 persons views should outweigh those of many people, but hey ho, everyones make up is different |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In my life I have given seven men blow jobs. Apart from my first one, all the other guys have said how great they are, the best ever had and where did i learn to do them so amazing and so on. I have no confidence so this gives me a boost that I can do something good in the bedroom. I told a guy on fab about this and he said "every guy says that" and laughed. I felt stupid that I ever thought I was actually good at something and now i have just totally lost what little confidence I had. Do guys say bj's are good when they are not? "
I think he was saying, so you could in turn offer him one! He was totally being a jerk! Don't let him bother you!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"to all those questioning the OPs lack of confidence, she never said this has lost her confidence in real life, just in her BJ technique.
you can be the most confident person in the world, but if someone tells you you are no good at one particular thing, it can stop you doing it.
that said, i dont agree that 1 persons views should outweigh those of many people, but hey ho, everyones make up is different"
I wouldn't mind but that person who had knocked her confidence isn't even someone that had received a BJ from the OP! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"to all those questioning the OPs lack of confidence, she never said this has lost her confidence in real life, just in her BJ technique.
you can be the most confident person in the world, but if someone tells you you are no good at one particular thing, it can stop you doing it.
that said, i dont agree that 1 persons views should outweigh those of many people, but hey ho, everyones make up is different"
So glad you can see where I am coming from. There's some people jumping to the wrong conclusions here. Thank you
X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Every guy doesn't say that, certainly not me anyway I guess I can only speak for myself. I've never been the biggest fan of them to be honest I guess no one has ever really got me going enough but ill say if it's good for sure |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"to all those questioning the OPs lack of confidence, she never said this has lost her confidence in real life, just in her BJ technique.
you can be the most confident person in the world, but if someone tells you you are no good at one particular thing, it can stop you doing it.
that said, i dont agree that 1 persons views should outweigh those of many people, but hey ho, everyones make up is different
So glad you can see where I am coming from. There's some people jumping to the wrong conclusions here. Thank you
X"
It's clearly affected you.. My suggestion would be to play with someone or two that you trust... Don't put pressure in yourself as that will impact the mood and thus quality of sucking... Read up or watch a video or two on fellatio techniques as this may help add some new things to your repertoire. Blowjobs are meant to be fun and pleasure..go enjoy them. Your confidence will return x |
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Surely it's like everything to do with sex, people have different things that "work"
for them and it's about finding a partner who likes giving what you like receiving or vice versa. Seems in my experience some men like ball play, some don't, some like lots of play/sucking at the tip, some like it mostly at the base of the shaft, I could go on... Tbh most men I've met seem to like a variety, it's the spice of life so explore what you both like and have confidence.
Practice makes perfect lol
Ruby x |
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