FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Safe word
Safe word
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Do you have a safe word when playing. ??
I sometimes say no but really I want the guy to take control and with me saying no they stop. Which of cause is a good thing . But really in my head I'm thinking. -fuck don't stop!!!!
Does that make sense ?
So need to think of a safe word. Any comments /thoughts or suggestions ??
V xx |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We have a safe word that runs through our lives and onxe ot is said then what ever is happining at rhat point in time stops with out question. |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We do we have a traffic light system which seems to be quite popular for a lot of people, Amber is a warning that I'm reaching my limits and to either slow it down a bit or go a bit gentler and Red which means stop right away.
I am also one who says no stop when in my head I am screaming don't stop  |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"We do we have a traffic light system which seems to be quite popular for a lot of people, Amber is a warning that I'm reaching my limits and to either slow it down a bit or go a bit gentler and Red which means stop right away.
I am also one who says no stop when in my head I am screaming don't stop "
Not just me then. Traffic light system sounds good. Thanks x |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
The simple advice is to choose a safe word that has no connection with what you are doing or possibly might do.. ours is tesco. |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
|
By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
Traffic lights are great - however you should also be able to use sensory awareness to gauge the congruence of your partners reaction, but hey that some times comes with time and trust. So yes early relationship - traffic lights |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Traffic lights are great - however you should also be able to use sensory awareness to gauge the congruence of your partners reaction, but hey that some times comes with time and trust. So yes early relationship - traffic lights "
agreec, body language and reactions can tell you alot but you fo have to know each other very well |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
Traffic lights are the most simple. Remember you need to be able to recall it when you could have fireworks going off in your head.
Obviously this should all be thoroughly discussed between the partners. There's absolutely no point if no ones paying attention. Be careful who you offer a safe world system to. Some will see it as a right to push every noisy they can did and that's not always a good thing. |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Traffic lights are the most simple. Remember you need to be able to recall it when you could have fireworks going off in your head.
Obviously this should all be thoroughly discussed between the partners. There's absolutely no point if no ones paying attention. Be careful who you offer a safe world system to. Some will see it as a right to push every noisy they can did and that's not always a good thing."
 |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Thank you. X |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
"Traffic lights are the most simple. Remember you need to be able to recall it when you could have fireworks going off in your head.
Obviously this should all be thoroughly discussed between the partners. There's absolutely no point if no ones paying attention. Be careful who you offer a safe world system to. Some will see it as a right to push every noisy they can did and that's not always a good thing."
That's 'right to push every boundary they can find and that's not always a good thing' |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It's hard to scream the safe word when you are gagged  |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It's hard to scream the safe word when you are gagged "
Fuck. Might need to learn sign language !
Ps. Have u been a fly on my wall ??? |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's hard to scream the safe word when you are gagged "
very good point indeed...lol now where did I leave that ball gag..lol |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
We used to have a safe word when we first started meeting folks..
we use the 'traffic light' system for bdsm play but any other meet a gentle reminder to go easy or no usually works..
having said that cant remember the last time we used any safe word..  |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
"It's hard to scream the safe word when you are gagged "
Lol true enough but you can't say 'No' either which the Op said she had in the original post.
Can see hand signals when hands are tied behind someone's back either.
It all depends on the situation.
There's loads of things, hand signals and holding objects that if let go indicate stop. Depends on the people playing and how experienced they are.
Personally we'd recommend keeping it as simple and as easy to remember as possible. |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
"It's hard to scream the safe word when you are gagged
Lol true enough but you can't say 'No' either which the Op said she had in the original post.
Can see hand signals when hands are tied behind someone's back either.
It all depends on the situation.
There's loads of things, hand signals and holding objects that if let go indicate stop. Depends on the people playing and how experienced they are.
Personally we'd recommend keeping it as simple and as easy to remember as possible."
Can't see hand signals. |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
No we don't.
But I know her fairly well these days and anyway tend to stop when it is sensible to do so which is often before she would at that point wanted me to do so. The day after however she admits I am usually right to have done so.
She can always , and has previously, say she wished to be pushed further and when I am happy to, I will.
D |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
|
By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
The issue with safe words that I have is trust.
If you dont trust your partner enough to realise when you can't take any more or things have gone too far, then they are either the wrong partner or dont know what they are doing.
Pretty simply really |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
|
By *easing_twoCouple
over a year ago
Bristol, Thornbury |
We havr a safe word for playing with visitors that wouldn't be noticed x |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
|
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
|
By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
To add. If it gets to the stage where safe words have to be used, then the onus is put on the submissive not the one doing it.
A case of, 'well, you had a safe word and didnt use it'.
Or, once a safe word is used, things have gone too far already, which means all play will stop and discussion will ensue.
Either way, safe words end up being wrong. |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
"no
I agree No means No"
Er not necessarily in BDSM it doesn't.
|
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
|
By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/222729
This one is already running |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
