FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > At what point do you stop with new people
At what point do you stop with new people
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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As the title says, we like to give new people the benefit of doubt you exchange a few messages they have been photo verified then you ask can we have a social meet, then all you get is it's really difficult to arrange childcare but would really like to discuss fantasies and such like is that block time ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A lot sooner than that, if I don't actually find them fun to message and talk to, then conversation typically grinds to a halt within the first few minutes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As the title says, we like to give new people the benefit of doubt you exchange a few messages they have been photo verified then you ask can we have a social meet, then all you get is it's really difficult to arrange childcare but would really like to discuss fantasies and such like is that block time ?"
I would just ignore them....now then i have this Fantasy  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes.....I get instantly bored by talking constant sex,or being expected talk about sex all the time and that goes for everyone not just newbies
They can sod off and get the wank fodder elsewhere  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We make it clear in our profile that we are not into endless email , cam etc... whether that's newbies or not .
It's true they may need more time to be sure it's what they want , but after a couple of firm offers and excuses we normally forget it !
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you don't feel it is going anywhere, then probably yes! It is tricky because everyone has different speeds they want to go at, from meeting right NOW to a verrrrrry long build up! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As the title says, we like to give new people the benefit of doubt you exchange a few messages they have been photo verified then you ask can we have a social meet, then all you get is it's really difficult to arrange childcare but would really like to discuss fantasies and such like is that block time ?"
I would say that the only way to know people is to meet them.. Yes childcare can be an issue for people and the same goes for work etc.. As for want to discuss fantasy with people you have never laid eyes on, no not for us. I would not block unless they had been rude or agressive.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Go with what your gut tells you. If you like the fantasy then no harm messaging."
Agreed, some people do enjoy talking about sex.. If that does it for you then go for it, if not then don't.. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We are not really into talking sex much rather do it, we have had some good meets with new people but I'm always suspicious it's some sad little wanker pretending to be a couple, but they are photo verified, I don't know we have up meeting off here some while ago and just met at clubs but we thought we'd give it another go, perhaps blocking is a little sever but it just saves any hassle in the future |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We are not really into talking sex much rather do it, we have had some good meets with new people but I'm always suspicious it's some sad little wanker pretending to be a couple, but they are photo verified, I don't know we have up meeting off here some while ago and just met at clubs but we thought we'd give it another go, perhaps blocking is a little sever but it just saves any hassle in the future "
You have to do what you feel is right for you... I would say that if you want to meet but they can't seem to arrange a time to do that then ask them to get in touch with you when they have some free time and see what comes back.. Polite but to the point  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As the title says, we like to give new people the benefit of doubt you exchange a few messages they have been photo verified then you ask can we have a social meet, then all you get is it's really difficult to arrange childcare but would really like to discuss fantasies and such like is that block time ?
I would say that the only way to know people is to meet them.. Yes childcare can be an issue for people and the same goes for work etc.. As for want to discuss fantasy with people you have never laid eyes on, no not for us. I would not block unless they had been rude or agressive.."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
You have to do what you feel is right for you... I would say that if you want to meet but they can't seem to arrange a time to do that then ask them to get in touch with you when they have some free time and see what comes back.. Polite but to the point "
I have done this a few times in the past,I also think that some new people need time to get used to the site and swinging in general,it can be overwhelming at first and a little time to reflect on what you want out of it and take stock can be helpful |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have to be honest when someone isn't free to meet they should say so in the initial contact save any confusion. "
Agreed.. Honesty is always the best policy |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
You have to do what you feel is right for you... I would say that if you want to meet but they can't seem to arrange a time to do that then ask them to get in touch with you when they have some free time and see what comes back.. Polite but to the point
I have done this a few times in the past,I also think that some new people need time to get used to the site and swinging in general,it can be overwhelming at first and a little time to reflect on what you want out of it and take stock can be helpful"
This is what I think but i also don't want to waste our time and after all we are here for our own enjoyment we are not here to babysit, I have sent a polite message saying message us if and when you are ready to meet and good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't proactively contact newbies - and if one contacts me I'll always give them the benefit of the doubt (after doing my usual due diligence checks e.g. Google reversing any pics) and see how things go. An urgency to meet is a warning sign. One line messages will have me lose interest early. An immediate request for pics will get a block.
Not sure if it's laziness on my part - but I tend to only really engage with verified members. I know someone's got to be the first to meet someone but if profiles don't seem to be putting in any effort then why should I worry about whether it's me? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
You have to do what you feel is right for you... I would say that if you want to meet but they can't seem to arrange a time to do that then ask them to get in touch with you when they have some free time and see what comes back.. Polite but to the point
I have done this a few times in the past,I also think that some new people need time to get used to the site and swinging in general,it can be overwhelming at first and a little time to reflect on what you want out of it and take stock can be helpful
This is what I think but i also don't want to waste our time and after all we are here for our own enjoyment we are not here to babysit, I have sent a polite message saying message us if and when you are ready to meet and good luck "
That sounds totally fair to me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I set a limit of 50 exchanged messages, and then request a phone call, I have a limit of 10 phone calls, then do my research, usually about 6 months to 12 months, then request a coffee in a busy public place, if all goes to plan they can expect sex within 18 months of first contact.  |
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
"As the title says, we like to give new people the benefit of doubt you exchange a few messages they have been photo verified then you ask can we have a social meet, then all you get is it's really difficult to arrange childcare but would really like to discuss fantasies and such like is that block time ?
I would just ignore them....now then i have this Fantasy "
Talk about sex? Oh ech, knew I'd forgotten something - Oh hum  |
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"I set a limit of 50 exchanged messages, and then request a phone call, I have a limit of 10 phone calls, then do my research, usually about 6 months to 12 months, then request a coffee in a busy public place, if all goes to plan they can expect sex within 18 months of first contact. "
Well talk about rush into things !! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is not just something that applies to newbies. I have been in touch with men for months and still not met them. The problem is the distance and their lives/commitments. I used to get impatient, but it's not their fault that I have much more time at my disposal. If there is the wish to meet eventually, then I will have to hold back and wait till the time is right. That they do have meets in the meanwhile is unavoidable although I cannot say it's easy for me.
And what is it about the Sarf that so many of the truly desirable ones live there?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think the messages just grind to a halt, nothing more to say kind of thing. I don't block people but if I don't want to meet them, I can often work out why I won't be meeting some if they are several hours drive away, others I use the note facility. I only really block those who are abusive.
I am more concerned with those who arrange meets then cancel, once it gets to three even if they sound feasible excuses, I don't bother again as its just not worth it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As the title says, we like to give new people the benefit of doubt you exchange a few messages they have been photo verified then you ask can we have a social meet, then all you get is it's really difficult to arrange childcare but would really like to discuss fantasies and such like is that block time ?"
YoU tell them to contact you with a time for a meet and not chat till then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I set a limit of 50 exchanged messages, and then request a phone call, I have a limit of 10 phone calls, then do my research, usually about 6 months to 12 months, then request a coffee in a busy public place, if all goes to plan they can expect sex within 18 months of first contact. "
Woops ditto this, riding side saddle here without prior consent , yeee x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I set a limit of 50 exchanged messages, and then request a phone call, I have a limit of 10 phone calls, then do my research, usually about 6 months to 12 months, then request a coffee in a busy public place, if all goes to plan they can expect sex within 18 months of first contact.
Woops ditto this, riding side saddle here without prior consent , yeee x"
Pillion even  |
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"As the title says, we like to give new people the benefit of doubt you exchange a few messages they have been photo verified then you ask can we have a social meet, then all you get is it's really difficult to arrange childcare but would really like to discuss fantasies and such like is that block time ?"
Yes. People like that are just looking to masturbate while you tell them your fantasies or cyber chat with them. They do it while the wife/partner is out. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As the title says, we like to give new people the benefit of doubt you exchange a few messages they have been photo verified then you ask can we have a social meet, then all you get is it's really difficult to arrange childcare but would really like to discuss fantasies and such like is that block time ?
Yes. People like that are just looking to masturbate while you tell them your fantasies or cyber chat with them. They do it while the wife/partner is out. "
To be honest that's my concern we don't want to be wank fodder |
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As newbies we are just waiting for the right moment, we have chatted to some nice couples and females,time hasn't been right on them, but hopefully our conversations have meant something and somewhere down the line we will eventually meet them.
At the same time we have had to drop conversations where they want sex there and then.
People here are swinging at all different speeds, go for what's right at the time.
Patience is a virtue too |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We do try an give the benefit of the doubt but at some point you must say this is not working and move on, we are here for our own enjoyment and it must be fun or what's the point |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We do try an give the benefit of the doubt but at some point you must say this is not working and move on, we are here for our own enjoyment and it must be fun or what's the point "
Thats exactly right, get a meet planned or move on it what I would do |
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