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myths of a swingers club
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ive (kitty) just written a post to a new couple going to a swingers club for the first time this week and I added a few of the myths attached to swingers clubs but wanted to hear yours (it may even be helpful to thoughs looking to attend their first) so I'll start ....
You can feel pressured to play in public when you dont want too. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
""Single men follow you everywhere. ""
I have never, ever been followed at a swingers club. I wish to attend a club where it happens.
As for myths: single women are guaranteed attention, single women always get in for free, there are always loads of single men there waiting to pounce, etc etc. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wyrdwoman - have you never visited chams on a friday night ?
A treat awaits !
Twice. And I wasn't followed, eyed up, groped, or asked for a shag once."
This is strange .... although I have to say that we have had to make it obvious that we are interested in group action in the past.
It's much easier as a couple as you can start in an open room together , then it fills up ! |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
Unfortunately I have seen people being followed in clubs....
I think the biggest misconception is that people are going to walk into a club straight into the site of naked bodies writhing on the floor |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""Single men follow you everywhere. ""
Sadly that's happened to me a couple of times... but I wouldn't say its anything to do with the club (which is awesome).
On nights where there are not many couples some guys follow people around to make sure they don't miss anything. With me it backfires as it makes me really uncomfortable and much less likely to play! |
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"Wyrdwoman - have you never visited chams on a friday night ?
A treat awaits !
Twice. And I wasn't followed, eyed up, groped, or asked for a shag once."
I've been on at least 10 times that many Friday nights & can say the same. Except that i have had offers from men/women/couples. I've also approached men/women & couples.
The only time I've really felt uneasy was at g spot many many moons ago |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Wyrdwoman - have you never visited chams on a friday night ?
A treat awaits !
Twice. And I wasn't followed, eyed up, groped, or asked for a shag once.
I've been on at least 10 times that many Friday nights & can say the same. Except that i have had offers from men/women/couples. I've also approached men/women & couples.
The only time I've really felt uneasy was at g spot many many moons ago "
I ended up asking for shags instead. I suspect that so many men get knocked back at clubs and have had it drilled into them so much that they shouldn't approach people it backfires on people like me who are really quite shy. I am not saying that as a single woman I got no attention. I did eventually. But I am saying that I have been to a lot of clubs around the UK and have never once been followed around by a train of single men. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Something which made us uneasy happened at a club a few years ago.We felt the club was paying some women to attend and entertain the blokes there. Wont say which one but got the distinct impression that was the case. The club has now closed so guess it was their way of trying to get more business through the door.
It was all very well but it was hard to tell which ones attending were being paid and who wasn't. We got some pretty creepy blokes around her so needless to say we left the room. It was just so false and orchestrated. Stuck out like a sore thumb this was what was going on. |
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Its about putting out the right signals i think. Im unbelievably shy. I have to make myself speak up on here & at clubs.
The thing is a lot of women & couples don't want to chat with men. They just go into an open room or cinema and allow the men that want them to queue/pile in. Which is there choice.
It backfires when the same men have that experience & think all women want that.
Single women can be shy or stand offish & that is misinterpreted by some.
My worst experiences were with couples only nights. Some men think as they have contributed a wife they have entitlement to another female & i find that worse than single men looking for those who want to play without chat  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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so where do the myths come from?
single men cant start them, as it seems all are to their detriment.
wouldnt say the owners start them, as that would affect attendance
single ladies probably wouldnt as that would stop other single women going, meaning they would be more at peril of the dreaded single horn monster
and couples wouldnt start them as, similarly, it would mean too many single men there as other couples and women wouldnt want to attend.
so where are they coming from?
usually falsehoods are started by those that have something to gain from it |
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I think people that don't have their expectations met. Male/female/couples will bitch about untruths instead of really look at what happened & why. Easier to blame 'common problems' than accept their own fault/attitude.
I also think these things do actually happen. With the wrong sort of people (ie not forumites) & it is then blown all out of proportion :-\ |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"I think people that don't have their expectations met. Male/female/couples will bitch about untruths instead of really look at what happened & why. Easier to blame 'common problems' than accept their own fault/attitude.
I also think these things do actually happen. With the wrong sort of people (ie not forumites) & it is then blown all out of proportion :-\"
It is an interesting point you bring up.... Because from I think the more you go to clubs, the more confident you get, and you know what to look for, and how to deal with situations
The stories I have heard from newbies to clubs where they have put up with it because they didn't want to rock the boat on their first night, or felt they were obliged to because they were there... I wonder if a lot of it is down to people who go once, don't like and then tell others of their experience...
After all people in life tend to tell people more about the bad times than the good ones.... Complaints rather than praise so to speak
And then people do it because some don't speak up, they feel they can get away with it..... |
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"The thing is a lot of women & couples don't want to chat with men. They just go into an open room or cinema and allow the men that want them to queue/pile in. Which is there choice.
It backfires when the same men have that experience & think all women want that."
So women or couples who enjoy group/nsa play in public cause single women to be pestered?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wyrdwoman - have you never visited chams on a friday night ?
A treat awaits !
Twice. And I wasn't followed, eyed up, groped, or asked for a shag once."
In that case saved me some money as shan't bother trying Friday nights now  |
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we went to a club a few months back , was a night when every one was allowed in and we almost got hounded out of the place , it became very uncomfortable , 6 blokes and they would not leave us alone ,became easier when a couple of other girls who wanted the attention came in .
only go to couples only nights now |
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MYTH - You can't go to a swingers club unless you're young, slim and beautiful because you'd be out of place.
TRUTH - Swingers clubs, like anywhere else where groups of people gather, are frequented by all sorts of people with every body-type  |
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"The thing is a lot of women & couples don't want to chat with men. They just go into an open room or cinema and allow the men that want them to queue/pile in. Which is there choice.
It backfires when the same men have that experience & think all women want that.
So women or couples who enjoy group/nsa play in public cause single women to be pestered?
"
Thats not what I actually said though is it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have experienced being followed but not in an uncomfortable way, worse has been the same guy who wasn't getting the polite "no thankyou" but took more attention of a member of staff. I understand it could well be a different story for a single woman at a club though. Hat's off to you! |
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"I think people that don't have their expectations met. Male/female/couples will bitch about untruths instead of really look at what happened & why. Easier to blame 'common problems' than accept their own fault/attitude.
I also think these things do actually happen. With the wrong sort of people (ie not forumites) & it is then blown all out of proportion :-\
It is an interesting point you bring up.... Because from I think the more you go to clubs, the more confident you get, and you know what to look for, and how to deal with situations
The stories I have heard from newbies to clubs where they have put up with it because they didn't want to rock the boat on their first night, or felt they were obliged to because they were there... I wonder if a lot of it is down to people who go once, don't like and then tell others of their experience...
After all people in life tend to tell people more about the bad times than the good ones.... Complaints rather than praise so to speak
And then people do it because some don't speak up, they feel they can get away with it....."
On the flip side, you get people telling everyone they had an amazing fffffffffffffffffm (as an example only) & they always score 'huge' in clubs
I've been to enough clubs to know, good facilities are great, individual people 'make or break' a night
Diversity we would only complain we were bored if we all liked the same |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just start running and play the theme tune from The Benny Hill show if you get followed around clubs "
I'd like to see that happen just once purely for the comedy of it. Lol |
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"so where do the myths come from?
single men cant start them, as it seems all are to their detriment.
wouldnt say the owners start them, as that would affect attendance
single ladies probably wouldnt as that would stop other single women going, meaning they would be more at peril of the dreaded single horn monster
and couples wouldnt start them as, similarly, it would mean too many single men there as other couples and women wouldnt want to attend.
so where are they coming from?
usually falsehoods are started by those that have something to gain from it"
The myths come from internet forums which are full of people who have never, or rarely (usually an organised social) been to a club.
There are lots of people with thousands of posts/hours in chat room who are very skilled at making little experience look like lots and their word is taken as gospel.
Many single men are terrified to join in group play because they have been told that they have to ask everytime, even when the evidence of their eyes suggests otherwise. |
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"so where do the myths come from?
single men cant start them, as it seems all are to their detriment.
wouldnt say the owners start them, as that would affect attendance
single ladies probably wouldnt as that would stop other single women going, meaning they would be more at peril of the dreaded single horn monster
and couples wouldnt start them as, similarly, it would mean too many single men there as other couples and women wouldnt want to attend.
so where are they coming from?
usually falsehoods are started by those that have something to gain from it"
I think it's probably started by people that have been to a club and had a conga line of single men following them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think people that don't have their expectations met. Male/female/couples will bitch about untruths instead of really look at what happened & why. Easier to blame 'common problems' than accept their own fault/attitude.
I also think these things do actually happen. With the wrong sort of people (ie not forumites) & it is then blown all out of proportion :-\
It is an interesting point you bring up.... Because from I think the more you go to clubs, the more confident you get, and you know what to look for, and how to deal with situations
The stories I have heard from newbies to clubs where they have put up with it because they didn't want to rock the boat on their first night, or felt they were obliged to because they were there... I wonder if a lot of it is down to people who go once, don't like and then tell others of their experience...
After all people in life tend to tell people more about the bad times than the good ones.... Complaints rather than praise so to speak
And then people do it because some don't speak up, they feel they can get away with it.....
On the flip side, you get people telling everyone they had an amazing fffffffffffffffffm (as an example only) & they always score 'huge' in clubs
I've been to enough clubs to know, good facilities are great, individual people 'make or break' a night
Diversity we would only complain we were bored if we all liked the same "
I get that bit in your first paragraph as I see a club continuously being raved about yet have chatted to a couple of guys who reckoned it was not all that and more used as a play ground for the owners |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thought this was a tongue in cheek thread about MYTHS  "
It was but as always on threads people start taking things and others too seriously..
It was a light hearted upbeat ask...
Heres another
MYTH.... Your guaranteed sex in a swingers club if your a single girl! |
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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
"Thought this was a tongue in cheek thread about MYTHS
It was but as always on threads people start taking things and others too seriously..
It was a light hearted upbeat ask...
Heres another
MYTH.... Your guaranteed sex in a swingers club if your a single girl! "
I wish that wasn't a myth  |
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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago
Titz Towers, North Notts |
Myth - Clubs are full of mythical creaturs, such as Elves, Ents and Orcs.
This may be the wrong kind of myth, but I still feel that many clubs would benefit from having a Lord of the Rings themed night.  |
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"The thing is a lot of women & couples don't want to chat with men. They just go into an open room or cinema and allow the men that want them to queue/pile in. Which is there choice.
It backfires when the same men have that experience & think all women want that.
So women or couples who enjoy group/nsa play in public cause single women to be pestered?
Thats not what I actually said though is it? "
Well the quote is verbatim and the question as to intended implication seems logical to me.
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Wyrdwoman - have you never visited chams on a friday night ?
A treat awaits !
Twice. And I wasn't followed, eyed up, groped, or asked for a shag once.
In that case saved me some money as shan't bother trying Friday nights now "
Awww don't take my experience as the norm. Its not only Chams this has happened at so its just bad luck really. |
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By *D40Couple
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"MYTH - You can't go to a swingers club unless you're young, slim and beautiful because you'd be out of place.
TRUTH - Swingers clubs, like anywhere else where groups of people gather, are frequented by all sorts of people with every body-type "
Very true, this stopped me going for a while.... |
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