FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Kissing or not kissing
Kissing or not kissing
Jump to: Newest in thread
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
we love to kiss on meets. It's a major part of the enjoyment for us, and is something we need as part of the "deal", lol.
We wouldn't meet a couple who don't kiss. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
it happend to us this weekend we had read this couples profile and we arranged to meet them every thing ok till we went back to theys and the rules came out 1 was no kissing we left when they got the rule book out, we not mingers lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It all depends ...
If the other party has black teeth and stinking breath, then I'd probably decline
Otherwise ...
Yes, why not indulge in a little snogeroony |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"No we don't kiss when we swing, never had a problem yet because of it tho, unless they lie to save our feelings lol" yes guys thats fair enough as you state that on your profile no kissing this couple dont must be us lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"No we don't kiss when we swing, never had a problem yet because of it tho, unless they lie to save our feelings lol yes guys thats fair enough as you state that on your profile no kissing this couple dont must be us lol "
Yes agree though, I wouldn't arrange to meet with people if they weren't aware of our dos and donts, x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
One of the reasons I meet before playing as I love to kiss, as others have said, a great turn on.
If they've manky teeth and bad breath it's a no no!
So far there's only been one person who had awful teeth! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"One of the reasons I meet before playing as I love to kiss, as others have said, a great turn on.
If they've manky teeth and bad breath it's a no no!
So far there's only been one person who had awful teeth! "
They'd probably have a bit of helmet chese going on as well, so would oral be out of the question too ? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"One of the reasons I meet before playing as I love to kiss, as others have said, a great turn on.
If they've manky teeth and bad breath it's a no no!
So far there's only been one person who had awful teeth! " I knew i should have taken my fixedent and not have had garlic for tea lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"One of the reasons I meet before playing as I love to kiss, as others have said, a great turn on.
If they've manky teeth and bad breath it's a no no!
So far there's only been one person who had awful teeth!
They'd probably have a bit of helmet chese going on as well, so would oral be out of the question too ? "
Ewwwwwwww!! As if!! Shame there's not a vomit, make that a projectile vomit smiley! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
For me to have good sex i need to be turned on and that in turn needs kissing.
Nothing does it better.
But each to their own eh..
wouldnt do for us all to like the same things |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ickndomCouple
over a year ago
Wimborne |
We kiss, its part of the passion
as for making love and having sex, Whats the difference!
Sometime I make love to my wife, sometimes we have sex, either way we kiss
is it not strange, that you'll let someone fuck you, but you won't kiss them, |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We kiss, its part of the passion
as for making love and having sex, Whats the difference!
Sometime I make love to my wife, sometimes we have sex, either way we kiss
is it not strange, that you'll let someone fuck you, but you won't kiss them, "
Interesting concept - and this is probably where one's background and life experience makes you into what you like and dislike, perhaps there is also the difference between men and women? As stated above, for us making love is really just reserved for us, reflected in the intimacy of kissing. Yes, we do have rampant urgent sex at times, agreed! It is probably more about the one thing we would not share with others and to us that happens to be the kissing... Maybe we are tarts...lol... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Well i don't know about anyone else but when I have sex with someone, I like to feel connected with them. I want to kiss them, and hold and caress them as much as I would like them to do the same to me.
But hy, thats what floats my boat. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It would be strange to be allowed to kiss one set of lips but not the other!
XXXX"
Can see your point there... but then, you can look at a piece of chocolate without eating it? Or can you |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Although I have to say, that if I was single then I probably would kiss whilst meeting x"
In complete agreement with you there.. that is precisely the difference for us and we do appreciate that we are in the minority here by about a million to one... lol..)) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It would be strange to be allowed to kiss one set of lips but not the other!
XXXX
Can see your point there... but then, you can look at a piece of chocolate without eating it? Or can you "
Can take or leave chocolate but kissing is just soooooo..........natural!
XXXX |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It would be strange to be allowed to kiss one set of lips but not the other!
XXXX
Can see your point there... but then, you can look at a piece of chocolate without eating it? Or can you
Can take or leave chocolate but kissing is just soooooo..........natural!
XXXX"
come to think of it... so is Greek yoghurt? The strained variety with the friendly bacteria....)) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It would be strange to be allowed to kiss one set of lips but not the other!
XXXX
Can see your point there... but then, you can look at a piece of chocolate without eating it? Or can you
Can take or leave chocolate but kissing is just soooooo..........natural!
XXXX
come to think of it... so is Greek yoghurt? The strained variety with the friendly bacteria....))"
That too is even better with a bit of honey though!
XXXX |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I love kissing and, as someone said before, it just so natural.
I would try and respect others wishes not to but as it's such a natural, almost reflex, action I'm not sure how good I would be at restraining myself. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ig badMan
over a year ago
Up North :-) |
"It would be strange to be allowed to kiss one set of lips but not the other!
XXXX"
Possibly the best thing added here. It seems odd that a woman will suck cock and a man go down on a woman but not kiss. Even at social occasions with people you meet you kiss. But each to their own even if many think its a little odd not to. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
have to kiss a guy to let him no what he can expect when i go futher down. kiss down the body drives a guy wild or slowly suck on his tounge and then break away and say that is what i want to do with your cock |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It would be strange to be allowed to kiss one set of lips but not the other!
XXXX
Can see your point there... but then, you can look at a piece of chocolate without eating it? Or can you "
Just for clarification.... we don't mind kissing as such (cheeks, lips etc) and do so socially, we were more referring to the "touching of tongues" we reserve for each other... and no, it does not stop us from having oral sex. It will not necessarily make sense to other people and it is personal to each couple as it is a "head thing"...
For us it is about what we class as real intimacy, the pink-fluffy love stuff .. no problems with other areas of tongue teasing... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It would be strange to be allowed to kiss one set of lips but not the other!
XXXX
Can see your point there... but then, you can look at a piece of chocolate without eating it? Or can you
Just for clarification.... we don't mind kissing as such (cheeks, lips etc) and do so socially, we were more referring to the "touching of tongues" we reserve for each other... and no, it does not stop us from having oral sex. It will not necessarily make sense to other people and it is personal to each couple as it is a "head thing"...
For us it is about what we class as real intimacy, the pink-fluffy love stuff .. no problems with other areas of tongue teasing... "
What you said there about French kissing being what you class as "real intimacy" is what most "kissers" can't get their heads around.
The fact that someone see's snogging as more intimate than having another persons tongue between their legs.
We always thought a persons "intimate" parts were their genitals not their mouth.
As you say though "it is a head thing" but one that many people just can't get their heads around.
That said though,its still your choice and your prerogative.
XXXX |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ickedWWoman
over a year ago
Chester |
"have to kiss a guy to let him no what he can expect when i go futher down. kiss down the body drives a guy wild or slowly suck on his tounge and then break away and say that is what i want to do with your cock"
Same here Mrs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I love kissing, sometimes I actually get so turned on during a long kissing session that my cock is oozing before it is let loose. Before, during, and after is my motto, as part of the foreplay, then I like to slide my cock inside and kiss again because it makes me go absolutely rock hard and throbbing which is usually well 'received' , then of course I like to show my appreciation, and affection (coz I just love women full stop) at the end.
That said, kissing is a very personal thing as well, and when I have taken part in 3sums I have found it a bit weird, because I associate kissing so much with displays of love, and I find it's not the same with another guy's wife/gf. Really down to the mindset I spose tho |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Kissing makes sex a little more erotic, so why deny yourself any form of sexual pleasure when swinging? Isn't swinging all about maximising sexual joy?
Obviously bad breath or bad teeth are a big kissing turn-off!
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
For us it is about what we class as real intimacy, the pink-fluffy love stuff .. no problems with other areas of tongue teasing... "
So does that mean every person you kissed before now you were actually in love with them?
I just don't get how it's not the difference between love and sex when you are single and then it becomes the difference when you are a couple.
I have a theory about the "no kissing rule" (generally)... but you wouldn't like it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *woBiTwoCouple
over a year ago
north manchester |
Kissing seems natural to us, as much a necessary part of having sex with others as making love (oops, am I replying to two threads at the same time here? ) with each other... it would seem a little 'cold' to me not to be able to smooch with my sexual partner. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Don’t care really, if it happens it happens, honestly no big deal here, we came here to experiment and try new things, and kissing wasn’t one of them, although a lot of people on here are after 1 to 1 encounters so would imagine kissing would be more of an issue to them rather than to someone who’s being spit roasted or gang banged, everyone looks for different things and even though I personally love kissing myself, sometimes it can just get in the way depending on what your actually doing at the time. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"we like to keep kissing to ourselves as we feel this is personal.." Well thats your prefrence it would be nice of you to stste that on your profile as if we had arranged to meet you guys and you did not kiss we would just piss you off like we did the other couple. takes 2min to state on your profile you dont kiss. folk like yourselves are a waste of time and money to us. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
For us it is about what we class as real intimacy, the pink-fluffy love stuff .. no problems with other areas of tongue teasing...
So does that mean every person you kissed before now you were actually in love with them?
I just don't get how it's not the difference between love and sex when you are single and then it becomes the difference when you are a couple.
I have a theory about the "no kissing rule" (generally)... but you wouldn't like it."
Im intrigued, what is the theory? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"we like to keep kissing to ourselves as we feel this is personal.. Well thats your prefrence it would be nice of you to stste that on your profile as if we had arranged to meet you guys and you did not kiss we would just piss you off like we did the other couple. takes 2min to state on your profile you dont kiss. folk like yourselves are a waste of time and money to us."
Take a leaf from your own book then and state on your own profile that you ONLY meet people who do kiss, might save you some time and money like you said. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"we like to keep kissing to ourselves as we feel this is personal.. Well thats your prefrence it would be nice of you to stste that on your profile as if we had arranged to meet you guys and you did not kiss we would just piss you off like we did the other couple. takes 2min to state on your profile you dont kiss. folk like yourselves are a waste of time and money to us.
Take a leaf from your own book then and state on your own profile that you ONLY meet people who do kiss, might save you some time and money like you said." point taken done that lets hope it works. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"we like to keep kissing to ourselves as we feel this is personal.. Well thats your prefrence it would be nice of you to stste that on your profile as if we had arranged to meet you guys and you did not kiss we would just piss you off like we did the other couple. takes 2min to state on your profile you dont kiss. folk like yourselves are a waste of time and money to us.
Take a leaf from your own book then and state on your own profile that you ONLY meet people who do kiss, might save you some time and money like you said. point taken done that lets hope it works. "
was there really any need to be so arrogant????? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"point taken done that lets hope it works. "
Doubt it'll make a difference, but out of curiousity, do you not chat about do's and dont's while arranging a meet, maybe we're just odd, but thats the first thing we'd do if arranging to meet others.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"we like to keep kissing to ourselves as we feel this is personal.. Well thats your prefrence it would be nice of you to stste that on your profile as if we had arranged to meet you guys and you did not kiss we would just piss you off like we did the other couple. takes 2min to state on your profile you dont kiss. folk like yourselves are a waste of time and money to us.
Take a leaf from your own book then and state on your own profile that you ONLY meet people who do kiss, might save you some time and money like you said. point taken done that lets hope it works.
was there really any need to be so arrogant????? " we are as much to blame as the couple whom did not kiss.But as you can see from the thread the majority of couples and singles on here are 4 kissing. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"we like to keep kissing to ourselves as we feel this is personal.. Well thats your prefrence it would be nice of you to stste that on your profile as if we had arranged to meet you guys and you did not kiss we would just piss you off like we did the other couple. takes 2min to state on your profile you dont kiss. folk like yourselves are a waste of time and money to us.
Take a leaf from your own book then and state on your own profile that you ONLY meet people who do kiss, might save you some time and money like you said. point taken done that lets hope it works.
was there really any need to be so arrogant????? we are as much to blame as the couple whom did not kiss.But as you can see from the thread the majority of couples and singles on here are 4 kissing. "
Still no need to be so arrogant with your post! anyways happy swinging |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"point taken done that lets hope it works.
Doubt it'll make a difference, but out of curiousity, do you not chat about do's and dont's while arranging a meet, maybe we're just odd, but thats the first thing we'd do if arranging to meet others.
" To be perfectly honest no we dont we are easy going and can go along with most anything within reason if a couple started laying the rules down to us we would respect them and if did not suit us we would piss them off. vise versa i hope. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"we like to keep kissing to ourselves as we feel this is personal.. Well thats your prefrence it would be nice of you to stste that on your profile as if we had arranged to meet you guys and you did not kiss we would just piss you off like we did the other couple. takes 2min to state on your profile you dont kiss. folk like yourselves are a waste of time and money to us.
Take a leaf from your own book then and state on your own profile that you ONLY meet people who do kiss, might save you some time and money like you said. point taken done that lets hope it works.
was there really any need to be so arrogant????? we are as much to blame as the couple whom did not kiss.But as you can see from the thread the majority of couples and singles on here are 4 kissing.
Still no need to be so arrogant with your post! anyways happy swinging " i dont think i been arrogant just saying it how it is |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"On my first couples meet i was allowed to kiss with the female but not allowed with the male which i found bizzare!" Pity were out of your age limits you could have kissed us both lol. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Isn't the whole point about everybody's own choice about
- whether or not they kiss
- whether or not they disclose this in the profile
- whether or not they discuss it before meeting?
- whether it is set in stone or not
- what the reasons are for whatever choice they make
No need, in our view to make assumptions about the why or why not.... let@s celebrate diversity in the same way that some people only do soft, others insist on full swap, some want bareback while others are horrified at the thought....?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Just read this and isn't everyone saying the same thing over and over again. Some like to and some don't why worry. If you meet someone who is a non kisser and you are you make a decision between you. Its not really that complicated. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Is kind of strange that some people have an issue with kissing considering the other things they are happy to put their mouths!! I like kissing my partner when she has had a mouthful of some guys cum though, so maybe our boundaries are different.
Smoking can be an issue though.
"We like to kiss while making love we also like to kiss when swinging with other couples or singles is this a turn on for you ? or a turn off "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *exeteraWoman
over a year ago
Bridgend |
Has to be kissing for me too, it gets me and him in the mood. I'd certainly not be happy if I'd turned up for a meet and only then be informed of any rules. All no go areas should be made aware up front and the best way to do this is on the profile. Then those of us who see kissing etc as a must will just fly on by. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
cant have sex without kissing, its just to clinical, i dont want someone who just wants mechanical sex, you know, suck this, lick that and fuck, to me kissing is all part of the forplay and build up, to me it has to be done, before, during and after lol
Kissing is the key that turns the ignition, without it you cant get the engine running |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We have no issue with people who have made the choice not to kiss, we just would not choose to meet them.
We had a meet not long ago with a couple where at no point in all the chatting up to the meet did they mention that they did not kiss.
We met and go on with them, and things got to the stage where we would usually start to have a bit of a play, when i ( fem)lent over to kiss the husband the wife shouted “ we don’t kiss!” as though i was deliberately stepping on their boundaries. My husband and i were a little bemused, though stayed for a while. But in all honesty, kissing is the thing that gets me going, if i cannot kiss someone whilst they are stroking my body then it all feels a little clinical and forced, and that is not what swinging is about for us.
We made our excuses and left the couple mentioned above – when it turned out that kissing was not the only thing they had failed to mention they did not do.
Speaking for myself, i like to completely let go when swinging, enjoy it moment by moment, not be thinking in the back of my mind DO NOT KISS, especially when kissing someone you are being intimate with is such a natural and responsive thing to do.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Just to add the following (semi-serious for those who want to take it that way, lol) comment :
Rate the following bites in order of the threat they pose to humans
1. Dog
2. Human
3. Cat
For some of us this MAY be one (of several) considerations in the choice as to whether or not we kiss.
Pussies and cocks don't post quite the same threat
PS... Yep, the human bite is considered the most dangerous....the cat comes second... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We have no issue with people who have made the choice not to kiss, we just would not choose to meet them.
We had a meet not long ago with a couple where at no point in all the chatting up to the meet did they mention that they did not kiss.
We met and go on with them, and things got to the stage where we would usually start to have a bit of a play, when i ( fem)lent over to kiss the husband the wife shouted “ we don’t kiss!” as though i was deliberately stepping on their boundaries. My husband and i were a little bemused, though stayed for a while. But in all honesty, kissing is the thing that gets me going, if i cannot kiss someone whilst they are stroking my body then it all feels a little clinical and forced, and that is not what swinging is about for us.
We made our excuses and left the couple mentioned above – when it turned out that kissing was not the only thing they had failed to mention they did not do.
Speaking for myself, i like to completely let go when swinging, enjoy it moment by moment, not be thinking in the back of my mind DO NOT KISS, especially when kissing someone you are being intimate with is such a natural and responsive thing to do.
"
Wow i would have been taken aback of someone had shouted that. There is something a little odd about not kissing if your getting passionate and wound up for penetration. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"lol
If you fear the person is going to bite you, do NOT let them near your private parts!!!!!"
Nah, was merely making a (semi-serious) comment regarding Health & Safety...
You do have a point lol )) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"We have no issue with people who have made the choice not to kiss, we just would not choose to meet them.
We had a meet not long ago with a couple where at no point in all the chatting up to the meet did they mention that they did not kiss.
We met and go on with them, and things got to the stage where we would usually start to have a bit of a play, when i ( fem)lent over to kiss the husband the wife shouted “ we don’t kiss!” as though i was deliberately stepping on their boundaries. My husband and i were a little bemused, though stayed for a while. But in all honesty, kissing is the thing that gets me going, if i cannot kiss someone whilst they are stroking my body then it all feels a little clinical and forced, and that is not what swinging is about for us.
We made our excuses and left the couple mentioned above – when it turned out that kissing was not the only thing they had failed to mention they did not do.
Speaking for myself, i like to completely let go when swinging, enjoy it moment by moment, not be thinking in the back of my mind DO NOT KISS, especially when kissing someone you are being intimate with is such a natural and responsive thing to do.
" you guys probably met the same couple as we did lol. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I love kissing its such an integral part of an intimate encounter. I had one meet a while back where kissing (amongst a whole host of other things) wasn't allowed, and it just didn't seem natural! One for the worst ever meets thread I think! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I love kissing its such an integral part of an intimate encounter. I had one meet a while back where kissing (amongst a whole host of other things) wasn't allowed, and it just didn't seem natural! One for the worst ever meets thread I think!"
oh i just dont meet people with a big long rule list, its one of the reason i just stay away from couples, cant be doing with it, when i have sex i want to loose myself not keep thinking, i cant do this, not allowed to do that lol
I do respect other peoples rules but if i dont like or agree with them i dont have to meet them |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I love kissing its such an integral part of an intimate encounter. I had one meet a while back where kissing (amongst a whole host of other things) wasn't allowed, and it just didn't seem natural! One for the worst ever meets thread I think!
oh i just dont meet people with a big long rule list, its one of the reason i just stay away from couples, cant be doing with it, when i have sex i want to loose myself not keep thinking, i cant do this, not allowed to do that lol
I do respect other peoples rules but if i dont like or agree with them i dont have to meet them "
It taught me a valuable lesson! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It all depends ...
If the other party has black teeth and stinking breath, then I'd probably decline
Otherwise ...
I don't think I'd be too pleased about a meeting with a member of the blacktooth brigade full stop to be honest! Other than that I love kissing, especially slow gentle kisses that build things up nicely...
Yes, why not indulge in a little snogeroony "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic