FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > A Meet has stopped me in my tracks....
A Meet has stopped me in my tracks....
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I went on a meet the other week and TBH was a long way to go for me almost 2 hour in traffic so hoped it would be worth it - I was thinking of calling it off before hand.
I found the little town and the pub. When I saw the woman I had to pinch myself - she genuinely was beautiful but sooo much more than that; Very intelligent, warm and funny.
Now I'm fairly recently out of a long relationship and as such found my social circle has moved on so I've been a little lonely from friends and have some massive things going on in my life at the moment (both parents with Big C scares amongst other things, Split up in LTR, Money Job etc).
Don't worry I'll cut to the chase we had an absolutely mind blowing night not all sexual  and have been left with such mixed feelings I'm confused and will open it to the floor -
I think my slightly vulnerable position means that someone showing me a little warmth and affection has shown me who or what I'm missing in my life. Now I'm not falling in love with her but more it opened a window into a future I could have with someone very similar if that makes sense? And the whole thing's left me slightly uneasy as opposed to great night, quick veri and move on......
Sorry to bore you to death for reading this long winded pile of shit but had to write it down before it went. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get this, you are still not over your ex and perhaps she behaved in a way your ex once did, you are at a low ebb given the comments in the second paragraph (sorry to hear about your parents, hope all will be okay). This will pass eventually but maybe you need to consider taking a break (you could hide your profile) for a while until things are sorted and the feelings for your ex are 'gone' |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
I really liked your post in its style and content, OP - it shows you are not hardened and that you are approaching life with an open attitude.
I am wondering whether your best bet is to just take things one day at a time and look upon your meet as "it is what it is" - genuine, exciting, warm and very memorable. Who knows there may be more meets with the lady in question - or maybe there will be other meets similarly enjoyable.
Either way, sometimes people get caught up in "analysis to paralysis" - I am saying enjoy what you had and see what else life has to offer you.
Best of luck to you x
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Sorry to clarify not specifically besotted with said lass but the whole experience left a much deeper impression than a straight forwards meet.
I think you might have got the nail on the head - exactly what I needed at the right time - that makes sense. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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to me it seems that you should see the positive - you had a really lovely time with a lovely lady - if it goes further thats wonderful if not you know at least there are women there that you can have that kind of time with other than the ex - its called moving on and i wish you happiness |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'll spell this out as I don't think I was clear - it's not her specifically just so unexpected and out of the blue. Maybe not used to having something good happen for a while.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry to clarify not specifically besotted with said lass but the whole experience left a much deeper impression than a straight forwards meet.
I think you might have got the nail on the head - exactly what I needed at the right time - that makes sense."
From my female point of _iew, I think it came along at the right time for you, and if she made you feel good for the night and you both enjoyed it then thats great
Anything else in the future is a bonus. Have you suggested meeting her again? maybe offer to go for dinner or something first? that way its more of a 'date'?
Its quite possible to find 'love' on here, but I think you are vulnerable at the moment and maybe needed someone like her to make you feel good and help you realise that there is life after love?
I guess the point I'm making is, dont look into your feelings too deep....you may regret that in the future. Live for the moment, enjoy hers (or others) company. If you've been in a long term relationship, then maybe enjoy being single for a while and find 'you' its easy to lose yourself in a relationship and forget who you were before, or the person you have become since.
I hope everything with your parents turns out ok.
....and I agree with what someone else said which is that I like the fact your OP proves you are not hardened in swinging, and you are an intelligent, articulate person with real feelings xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think that sounds great ...
So many people think its 'fuck and go ' like its some bloody hobby !!!
Its refreshing to see this - I know exactly what you mean.
Sometimes things can happen at the right time.
By the way - she sounds amazing. May be worth investigating that further |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Swinging for the wrong reasons spings to mind
why this if I have too spell it out then maybee you shouldnt be on fab s"
i only questioned your comment as he met her purely as a swing meet - the result of which wasnt expected - he wasnt meeting with the intention of these feelings happening |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Swinging for the wrong reasons spings to mind
why this if I have too spell it out then maybee you shouldnt be on fab s"
There is no right or wrong reason to swing, everyone has their own reasons....who are you to say he's doing it for the wrong reasons??  |
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i fully understand where you are coming from ...we as a couple have met single guys where the connection and chemistry was electric and immediately apparent ...yes that is a huge buzz and something we wish to embrace and wish to hang on to ..but we dont want the guy to move in with us ...we can keep this part of our lives in perspective ...good luck OP ...hope it works out !  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think its easy to get caught in the moment of a great meet, and after a break up you can be a little too open.
have a holiday, treat your parents well, arrange another meet.
Yes, this is a sex/swinging site, but unlike some on here I think you can have feelings too! After all that's what separates us from the animals x lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As someone who also came out of a long term relationship (albeit that mine ended a year ago), I think your post of sweet and thought provoking.
It's such a shame that you are now being chastised for enjoying the meet, beyond what some people on the site deem acceptable. It's very much a holier than thou attitude, which is really not fair. Everyone is entitled to use this site as they wish to, so long as they are honest with themselves and others.
I have used the site as a dating site before, and probably will again. That doesn't mean that I shouldn't be here and the same goes for you.
Good for you that you had such an enjoyable experience. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As someone who also came out of a long term relationship (albeit that mine ended a year ago), I think your post of sweet and thought provoking.
It's such a shame that you are now being chastised for enjoying the meet, beyond what some people on the site deem acceptable. It's very much a holier than thou attitude, which is really not fair. Everyone is entitled to use this site as they wish to, so long as they are honest with themselves and others.
I have used the site as a dating site before, and probably will again. That doesn't mean that I shouldn't be here and the same goes for you.
Good for you that you had such an enjoyable experience."
exactly - people get called for not meeting and using here as a place for chatter - damned if you do and damned if you dont - rules dont mention feelings that may occur - good luck to him |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dont get feelings..I take benylin whenever I get symptoms! 
If allergic to feelings, try Chlorphenamine
What is that??...  "
Treats allergies (famous brand = piriton). It's an anti-histamine. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is probably best topic and o p for while here makes a change from the usual fuck snog pass puke on posts.
Well done o p try not read too much into it that way its a bonus if things progress but remember this is a sex site although i have met and become great friends with most. |
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ye cos when you are vulnerable its easy
to be drawn into things that make you feel
good ,but hail to the guy for at least respecting the other person and realising
he prob wants more than a quick wham bam
thank you mam x |
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By *bw48Woman
over a year ago
warrington |
people come into our lives for various different reasons some give us just what we need at that moment for a short spell n others stay iv met a few new friends on here some ill never meet but I count as friends so id say just keep switched on as u come across as u are very switched on x  |
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How many people mis-interpreted what the OP was saying in his original post?
Hes not saying he had feelings for her per say hes saying whilst he enjoys swinging he experienced something with her that reminded him of companionship and how he realises he misses it (this is what im getting any way so correct me if im wrong OP).
Its understandable you feel this way especially when you connect with someone, i see so many threads on here about members being confused about their feelings for others and i admire your honesty but at least you've recognised it for what it is and not feelings for her. Mrs x |
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We can't help if we meet someone and there is a connection...yes I'm on a sex site but my heart is certainly not made of stone or hidden behind ice or locked away...I just know when I want a fab meet which is not often any more....I know what I want...to the op thank you for being so honest x |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
OP, I think there are a couple of things that surprised you:
1. You were reluctant to go and had planned for it to be a mundane meet
2. It wasn't, you enjoyed it and it gave you what you needed at the time, even though you hadn't realised that it was what you needed.
Enjoy the memory as much as the occasion and give yourself permission to enjoy yourself again.
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"Thanks for the replies - I wasn't expecting the number of them tbh or the breadth of posters who have."
Your authenticity is refreshing - we could do with as much of that as possible on here, and I don't believe hardness of heart is ever desirable though it may keep people 'safe'. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks for the replies - I wasn't expecting the number of them tbh or the breadth of posters who have."
How lovely, be careful it's a swingers site... At the end of the day.... You are in a vulnerable place right now.
I am one half of a couple I love him unconditionally, if I was a singleton I would perhaps find myself on here? Although probably not, I admire single people on here, I think it greatly depends on what type of person you are... I get attached easily, everyone is different and I think I would struggle on here as a singleton, my opinion, think about wether a swinging site is the right place for you right now xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Having read what people have said I think I'll continue to meet purely for fun and needsmeets but realise I probably won't play forever.
Maybe I think I was surprised at how enjoyable an experience it was! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had mixed feelings about a meet i had a while back and i just kept it as a meet and distanced myself....as i knew it wouldnt be more.
And a few months ago someone i knew came across me on here and ive seen loads of him which i didnt think i would.
People change feelings change just go steady but speak to her if she feels the same go for it x |
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By *ost SockMan
over a year ago
West Wales and Cardiff |
Hi mate.
Your post reminds me a lot of what I experienced a year ago, in the sense that it involved being shown a glimpse of a different world/way of living.
I got chatting to someone socially (not swinging) and felt an almighty rush of attraction and connection to that woman. I'd completely forgotten what that was like - it hadn't happened for years and I assumed that it wasn't capable of it anymore (I'm in my forties and took a medication that kills libido and emotions for some years).
I was floored by it and wasn't simultaneously filled with joy and terror by the power of this long-forgotten emotion. Sadly, nothing came of it and I still struggle with that to this day. However, I'm grateful that I'm still capable of experiencing that very real, very human feeling. I hope you feel that too.
Seems to me you met someone who ticked more than just a physical attraction box. No shame in that. I know with this woman I met, the overriding feeling wasn't one of lust, it was one of "I could talk to you forever".
I'll freely admit I'm one of life's sentimental, emotional gits though!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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the thing is, it happens to many people that come out of LTR.
you very quickly miss the closeness and com/passion that was afforded within it ,especially if it was her that finished it or a mutual ending, and when someone else shows affection it can bring back all the good things you had before, without any of the bad, and it lulls you into false feelings of love, as that is a learned response from what you have known for however long.
this is the reason many people mistake sex for love.
personally i would question whether swinging is for you, as meets like this would no doubt arouse the same feelings within.
maybe you would be better actually dating again rather than looking for no strings, as you seem to be a very feeling and loving bloke.
either way, good luck to you, and hope you find hat you are looking for, wherever you look. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How many people mis-interpreted what the OP was saying in his original post?
Hes not saying he had feelings for her per say hes saying whilst he enjoys swinging he experienced something with her that reminded him of companionship and how he realises he misses it (this is what im getting any way so correct me if im wrong OP).
Its understandable you feel this way especially when you connect with someone, i see so many threads on here about members being confused about their feelings for others and i admire your honesty but at least you've recognised it for what it is and not feelings for her. Mrs x"
That's the way I read it too x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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you're lucky, not all Fab experiences are this good. You'll know upfront about the physical attraction,and generally the calibre of the sex with a fab person is pretty high. It's rare though that you get a mental connection let alone an emotional one.
You may meet many people who are attractive, good in bed, nice enough...but this lady inspired you to feel and think of something more. Maybe you should run with that. You don't have to dive in, but why not be open to it? I know lots of people who found their partner when the timing wasn't perfect, when they weren't looking for a relationship. All that's going on with you personally, well say what! Life's complicated! Just be careful with you, and with her  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'd sort of forgotten about this thread then stumbled onto it so wanted to add a postscript - but haven't written that yet... bit odd reading things back though |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I'd sort of forgotten about this thread then stumbled onto it so wanted to add a postscript - but haven't written that yet... bit odd reading things back though "
Is the postscript on another thread or are you still pondering what to write?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'd sort of forgotten about this thread then stumbled onto it so wanted to add a postscript - but haven't written that yet... bit odd reading things back though
Is the postscript on another thread or are you still pondering what to write?
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Started but work's in the way at mo. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd sort of forgotten about this thread then stumbled onto it so wanted to add a postscript - but haven't written that yet... bit odd reading things back though
Is the postscript on another thread or are you still pondering what to write?
Started but work's in the way at mo."
 playing it cool eh? Lol |
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"I'd sort of forgotten about this thread then stumbled onto it so wanted to add a postscript - but haven't written that yet... bit odd reading things back though
Is the postscript on another thread or are you still pondering what to write?
Started but work's in the way at mo. playing it cool eh? Lol"
His obviously turned into a tease !!!!!  lol
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