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To cheat or not to cheat?that is the question
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 we was chatting to each other tonight and our _iew is this. If we goto a club its not cheating as we both enter a none vanilla world and when we leave the club we step back into the vanilla world so to us this is a differant dimension. So we feel we don't cheat... What's others take on this?  | |||
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"I think my flabber has never been so gasted but hey you're entitled to your thoughts just as I'm entitled to mine. "  | |||
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"As the title says - to cheat or not to cheat. You know damn well it IS cheating!"  | |||
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"Met a woman, sex is amazing but she won't swing and would rip any woman's throat out that try'd it on with me.... Got a friend who met a guy same time who's very vanilla again he wouldn't swing... We have great sex before we met these partners. We now agree to be swinging partners for variety we was chatting to each other tonight and our _iew is this. If we goto a club its not cheating as we both enter a none vanilla world and when we leave the club we step back into the vanilla world so to us this is a differant dimension. So we feel we don't cheat... What's others take on this? "no question about it cheating is cheating and i don't think either of you have even considered your PARTNERS feelings with what your both doing have you considered how your partner would feel if they found out? | |||
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"Just try to visualise your fuck buddy without a throat ... it may help you to decide. "hehehe lotta love for this  | |||
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"Just try to visualise your fuck buddy without a throat ... it may help you to decide. " | |||
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"Met a woman, sex is amazing but she won't swing and would rip any woman's throat out that try'd it on with me.... Got a friend who met a guy same time who's very vanilla again he wouldn't swing... We have great sex before we met these partners. We now agree to be swinging partners for variety we was chatting to each other tonight and our _iew is this. If we goto a club its not cheating as we both enter a none vanilla world and when we leave the club we step back into the vanilla world so to us this is a differant dimension. So we feel we don't cheat... What's others take on this?
no question about it cheating is cheating and i don't think either of you have even considered your PARTNERS feelings with what your both doing have you considered how your partner would feel if they found out?"Both partners only short term so far and our friendship much longer/stronger. If relationship builds things would change but if partners won't consider swinging at any point and surely its a mater of time before relationships break down? No give or take in relationship? The cheating is not within marrage and maybe its not right but if my partner was to swing I'd be happy to stay faithfull with more chance of a future together. I'm happy to separate the vanilla and none vanilla life choices well at least for now anyway | |||
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"I think my flabber has never been so gasted but hey you're entitled to your thoughts just as I'm entitled to mine. " | |||
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"Met a woman, sex is amazing but she won't swing and would rip any woman's throat out that try'd it on with me.... Got a friend who met a guy same time who's very vanilla again he wouldn't swing... We have great sex before we met these partners. We now agree to be swinging partners for variety we was chatting to each other tonight and our _iew is this. If we goto a club its not cheating as we both enter a none vanilla world and when we leave the club we step back into the vanilla world so to us this is a differant dimension. So we feel we don't cheat... What's others take on this?
no question about it cheating is cheating and i don't think either of you have even considered your PARTNERS feelings with what your both doing have you considered how your partner would feel if they found out?
Both partners only short term so far and our friendship much longer/stronger. If relationship builds things would change but if partners won't consider swinging at any point and surely its a mater of time before relationships break down? No give or take in relationship? The cheating is not within marrage and maybe its not right but if my partner was to swing I'd be happy to stay faithfull with more chance of a future together. I'm happy to separate the vanilla and none vanilla life choices well at least for now anyway "Why should your partner swing? Did she say she was into it before you got together? ? Perhaps you and your fb should let your new partners go before things get even messier, and just have your relationship together. | |||
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"Met a woman, sex is amazing but she won't swing and would rip any woman's throat out that try'd it on with me.... Got a friend who met a guy same time who's very vanilla again he wouldn't swing... We have great sex before we met these partners. We now agree to be swinging partners for variety we was chatting to each other tonight and our _iew is this. If we goto a club its not cheating as we both enter a none vanilla world and when we leave the club we step back into the vanilla world so to us this is a differant dimension. So we feel we don't cheat... What's others take on this? "OP: There is no indication in your post that any of the people involved are married/attached (unless you spoke in riddles, in which case I probably have not understood any of your rambling) so I am confused as to why you would ask such a controversial, say the infamous word and ask what in my opinion is a ridiculous question that is going to provoke for the sake of provoking | |||
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"Men & their reality x lol Hate to around when this bubble bursts "erm..it was a mutually reached conclusion as far as i read the OP. however, here to be corrected. | |||
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"Men & their reality x lol Hate to around when this bubble bursts
erm..it was a mutually reached conclusion as far as i read the OP.
however, here to be corrected."yes it was a mutually reached conclusion by the 2 cheaters | |||
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"Met a woman, sex is amazing but she won't swing and would rip any woman's throat out that try'd it on with me.... Got a friend who met a guy same time who's very vanilla again he wouldn't swing... We have great sex before we met these partners. We now agree to be swinging partners for variety we was chatting to each other tonight and our _iew is this. If we goto a club its not cheating as we both enter a none vanilla world and when we leave the club we step back into the vanilla world so to us this is a differant dimension. So we feel we don't cheat... What's others take on this? "you been smoking again haven't you? seriously no judgement but at least be honest with yourself | |||
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"Met a woman, sex is amazing but she won't swing and would rip any woman's throat out that try'd it on with me.... Got a friend who met a guy same time who's very vanilla again he wouldn't swing... We have great sex before we met these partners. We now agree to be swinging partners for variety we was chatting to each other tonight and our _iew is this. If we goto a club its not cheating as we both enter a none vanilla world and when we leave the club we step back into the vanilla world so to us this is a differant dimension. So we feel we don't cheat... What's others take on this?
no question about it cheating is cheating and i don't think either of you have even considered your PARTNERS feelings with what your both doing have you considered how your partner would feel if they found out?
Both partners only short term so far and our friendship much longer/stronger. If relationship builds things would change but if partners won't consider swinging at any point and surely its a mater of time before relationships break down? No give or take in relationship? The cheating is not within marrage and maybe its not right but if my partner was to swing I'd be happy to stay faithfull with more chance of a future together. I'm happy to separate the vanilla and none vanilla life choices well at least for now anyway "This has to be one of the most screwed up pieces of 'logic' I've ever read! | |||
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". If we goto a club its not cheating as we both enter a none vanilla world and when we leave the club we step back into the vanilla world so to us this is a differant dimension. So we feel we don't cheat... What's others take on this? "That's gotta be the best piece of self justification for cheating ive ever read ffs
Sprinkle sugar on it and flower it up as much a you like mate but its still cheating, me thinks you have watched one to many episodes of Goodnight Sweetheart | |||
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no, it not cheating on your partners.
if you both were to mention that you are off to a swingers club together to your respected non swinging partners, I am sure they will both say 'have a great time'
go for it... it's your choice but jesus christ people will try and justify about anything.
Just do your thing with people who will do their thing with you.... | |||
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"Met a woman, sex is amazing but she won't swing and would rip any woman's throat out that try'd it on with me.... Got a friend who met a guy same time who's very vanilla again he wouldn't swing... We have great sex before we met these partners. We now agree to be swinging partners for variety we was chatting to each other tonight and our _iew is this. If we goto a club its not cheating as we both enter a none vanilla world and when we leave the club we step back into the vanilla world so to us this is a differant dimension. So we feel we don't cheat... What's others take on this?
no question about it cheating is cheating and i don't think either of you have even considered your PARTNERS feelings with what your both doing have you considered how your partner would feel if they found out?
Both partners only short term so far and our friendship much longer/stronger. If relationship builds things would change but if partners won't consider swinging at any point and surely its a mater of time before relationships break down? No give or take in relationship? The cheating is not within marrage and maybe its not right but if my partner was to swing I'd be happy to stay faithfull with more chance of a future together. I'm happy to separate the vanilla and none vanilla life choices well at least for now anyway
This has to be one of the most screwed up pieces of 'logic' I've ever read!
"Yeah that's logic of the bellend if ever I've heard it!! If swinging has to be part of your relationship then grow a pair of balls, man up and end the non swinging relationship now. Poor woman doesn't deserve to be disrespected in such a way simply because you want different things to her!! | |||
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"Why don't you just sack off your partners and date each other. You obv get along and fancy each other. Makes more sense than both living a double life" | |||
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"Why don't you just sack off your partners and date each other. You obv get along and fancy each other. Makes more sense than both living a double life "but its no fun not being a sneaky cheat lol | |||
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" If we go to a club its not cheating as we both enter a none vanilla world and when we leave the club we step back into the vanilla world so to us this is a differant dimension. So we feel we don't cheat... What's others take on this? "My take is, what a load of bollocks! If you are going to both cheat then as least admit to yourselves that's what you are doing. Don't try and justify it and wrap it up as it's in a different dimension. | |||
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"Met a woman, sex is amazing but she won't swing and would rip any woman's throat out that try'd it on with me.... Got a friend who met a guy same time who's very vanilla again he wouldn't swing... We have great sex before we met these partners. We now agree to be swinging partners for variety we was chatting to each other tonight and our _iew is this. If we goto a club its not cheating as we both enter a none vanilla world and when we leave the club we step back into the vanilla world so to us this is a differant dimension. So we feel we don't cheat... What's others take on this?
no question about it cheating is cheating and i don't think either of you have even considered your PARTNERS feelings with what your both doing have you considered how your partner would feel if they found out?
Both partners only short term so far and our friendship much longer/stronger. If relationship builds things would change but if partners won't consider swinging at any point and surely its a mater of time before relationships break down? No give or take in relationship? The cheating is not within marrage and maybe its not right but if my partner was to swing I'd be happy to stay faithfull with more chance of a future together. I'm happy to separate the vanilla and none vanilla life choices well at least for now anyway "So you want to start a relationship on lies and deceit. That sounds like its gonna work. You both sound selfish and couldn't careless what your partner thinks. A relationship is surely meant to be built on trust. Regardless wether you are married or not cheating is cheating. | |||
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"Met a woman, sex is amazing but she won't swing and would rip any woman's throat out that try'd it on with me.... Got a friend who met a guy same time who's very vanilla again he wouldn't swing... We have great sex before we met these partners. We now agree to be swinging partners for variety we was chatting to each other tonight and our _iew is this. If we goto a club its not cheating as we both enter a none vanilla world and when we leave the club we step back into the vanilla world so to us this is a differant dimension. So we feel we don't cheat... What's others take on this?
no question about it cheating is cheating and i don't think either of you have even considered your PARTNERS feelings with what your both doing have you considered how your partner would feel if they found out?
Both partners only short term so far and our friendship much longer/stronger. If relationship builds things would change but if partners won't consider swinging at any point and surely its a mater of time before relationships break down? No give or take in relationship? The cheating is not within marrage and maybe its not right but if my partner was to swing I'd be happy to stay faithfull with more chance of a future together. I'm happy to separate the vanilla and none vanilla life choices well at least for now anyway
So you want to start a relationship on lies and deceit. That sounds like its gonna work. You both sound selfish and couldn't careless what your partner thinks. A relationship is surely meant to be built on trust.
Regardless wether you are married or not cheating is cheating. "I think both me & my swinging friend are getting our boxes ticked but we have fantasies and this lifestyle to explore further. out of choice I'd love to be with a partner who liked swinging preferably Bi-sexual but in reality swinging is a taboo subject to most the outside world (with rules similar to fight club in some people's heads even in 2013) my partner sexually is the best I've been with out a large number of sexual partners but only been with her a month and lives 150 miles from me and our lifestyles are very different and long term unworkable maybe. after we first slept with each other we spoke about swinging and she said its not for her on top of this her jealous side wouldn't fit in the lifestyle, sexually I'm happy with her but everything else long term can't fit into place. I take the risk of asking the question on here at the risk if being slaughtered. if your swinging your cheating if your a couple anyway except for the fact that its consented cheating? With the basics of same room swap for mutual kicks and separate room swaps to relax away from partner or am i getting this wrong? I know for a fact in this situation if me and my swinging partner swapped with a couple who swing to fill a void in there sex life's the difference between what we can provide them and what they can provide each other is defiantly cheating. however pritty you wrap it up!! i am not one of these guys who make there partner do what they don't want to do but on-top of this i will not stop exploring my sexual self. On this site and other dating/swinging/sex/dogging/BDSM sites or whatever I'd say 75% of men are liars/cheats with the only motive to get there end away!!! My new partner was sexually immature when I met her due to selfish ex partners and over time she may be able to adapt to this lifestyle so at moment by being honest there's too much to lose. I'm my partners 4th sexual partner and first to make her orgasm (with others she's had to finish herself off) + she now squirts. I love her performance in the bedroom but not in love, I'm not married, and neither is my swinging partner. What does get me is the amount of noble replies on here but not one person acting anyway other than squeaky clean? I replied to this answer from yourselves has it has the most credibility. Out the replies I've read. | |||
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" I know for a fact in this situation if me and my swinging partner swapped with a couple who swing to fill a void in there sex life's " Another guy that thinks he's doing couple a favour, sheesh | |||
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Learn your lesson, don't lead a girl down the exclusive path until you're ready. A month is too soon.
Perhaps tell the girl you are going swinging and then let HER make up her mind whether the relationship should continue.
OR wait it out a couple months with no swinging, and see where the relationship is going. Stop being damn selfish. | |||
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"Met a woman, sex is amazing but she won't swing and would rip any woman's throat out that try'd it on with me.... Got a friend who met a guy same time who's very vanilla again he wouldn't swing... We have great sex before we met these partners. We now agree to be swinging partners for variety we was chatting to each other tonight and our _iew is this. If we goto a club its not cheating as we both enter a none vanilla world and when we leave the club we step back into the vanilla world so to us this is a differant dimension. So we feel we don't cheat... What's others take on this?
no question about it cheating is cheating and i don't think either of you have even considered your PARTNERS feelings with what your both doing have you considered how your partner would feel if they found out?
Both partners only short term so far and our friendship much longer/stronger. If relationship builds things would change but if partners won't consider swinging at any point and surely its a mater of time before relationships break down? No give or take in relationship? The cheating is not within marrage and maybe its not right but if my partner was to swing I'd be happy to stay faithfull with more chance of a future together. I'm happy to separate the vanilla and none vanilla life choices well at least for now anyway
So you want to start a relationship on lies and deceit. That sounds like its gonna work. You both sound selfish and couldn't careless what your partner thinks. A relationship is surely meant to be built on trust.
Regardless wether you are married or not cheating is cheating.
I think both me & my swinging friend are getting our boxes ticked but we have fantasies and this lifestyle to explore further. out of choice I'd love to be with a partner who liked swinging preferably Bi-sexual but in reality swinging is a taboo subject to most the outside world (with rules similar to fight club in some people's heads even in 2013) my partner sexually is the best I've been with out a large number of sexual partners but only been with her a month and lives 150 miles from me and our lifestyles are very different and long term unworkable maybe. after we first slept with each other we spoke about swinging and she said its not for her on top of this her jealous side wouldn't fit in the lifestyle, sexually I'm happy with her but everything else long term can't fit into place. I take the risk of asking the question on here at the risk if being slaughtered. if your swinging your cheating if your a couple anyway except for the fact that its consented cheating? With the basics of same room swap for mutual kicks and separate room swaps to relax away from partner or am i getting this wrong? I know for a fact in this situation if me and my swinging partner swapped with a couple who swing to fill a void in there sex life's the difference between what we can provide them and what they can provide each other is defiantly cheating. however pritty you wrap it up!! i am not one of these guys who make there partner do what they don't want to do but on-top of this i will not stop exploring my sexual self. On this site and other dating/swinging/sex/dogging/BDSM sites or whatever I'd say 75% of men are liars/cheats with the only motive to get there end away!!! My new partner was sexually immature when I met her due to selfish ex partners and over time she may be able to adapt to this lifestyle so at moment by being honest there's too much to lose. I'm my partners 4th sexual partner and first to make her orgasm (with others she's had to finish herself off) + she now squirts. I love her performance in the bedroom but not in love, I'm not married, and neither is my swinging partner. What does get me is the amount of noble replies on here but not one person acting anyway other than squeaky clean? I replied to this answer from yourselves has it has the most credibility. Out the replies I've read. "I can't really understand half of what you have written but I think you have got the whole idea of a couple swinging wrong. For most I would of thought it has nothing to do with filling a void. A couple swinging is totally different to a cheater. Cheating is being deceitful. You have said her past relationships haven't been great and from the way you talk if would say this one isn't either. Why don't you stop trying to convince yourself that you aren't doing anything wrong to this poor woman and face reality. | |||
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"Foolish man. Break up wih the vanilla partner. You cant have your cake and eat it! Your naiive to the understanding of swinging. Consenting cheating pffffft! Cheating is un consenting. Your just finding an excuse to get sex here and now rather than waiting for your vanilla partner and having her please you! Go find her a man and tell her you have a surprise for her and let hin go fuck her senseless and let her meet him on a reg basis. Now how would you feel about that?? " Why would I want to find her a man to have reg sex with? Why ain't that a thing she can do for herself if she felt the desire to do so? Free will? Or maybe she's satisfyd for first time in her life maybe men have had decades to fuck her senceless and not done? why do I need to find her a man when I can do the job.... It's like getting Everest to fit you windows and getting a cowboy to pull them out for you, then let the cowboy do a cowboys job?
Our am I missing the point that theres other cocks to feed? | |||
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"Foolish man. Break up wih the vanilla partner. You cant have your cake and eat it! Your naiive to the understanding of swinging. Consenting cheating pffffft! Cheating is un consenting. Your just finding an excuse to get sex here and now rather than waiting for your vanilla partner and having her please you! Go find her a man and tell her you have a surprise for her and let hin go fuck her senseless and let her meet him on a reg basis. Now how would you feel about that?? Why would I want to find her a man to have reg sex with? Why ain't that a thing she can do for herself if she felt the desire to do so? Free will? Or maybe she's satisfyd for first time in her life maybe men have had decades to fuck her senceless and not done? why do I need to find her a man when I can do the job.... It's like getting Everest to fit you windows and getting a cowboy to pull them out for you, then let the cowboy do a cowboys job?
Our am I missing the point that theres other cocks to feed? "Yes you're missing the point along with countless other points. You really are incapable of putting yourself in her position aren't you? I hope she finds out. When I found out I was being cheated on (he was using an adult meet site) I made it the best thing to happen to me ever. I hope it's the same for her and her confidence isn't ruined for life like what would happen to many other ladies. I lost half my body weight, moved to London to take up the best job ever and learnt to live alone and enjoy it. On top of that, I made sure he had the most humiliating experience of his life. He emigrated through embarrassment. crystal | |||
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"Man up. Make a choice-split and swing or stick with her and be faithful. Stop being such a coward trying to find excuses for being deceitful. Until you've been cheated on, you have no idea what it does to you-it changes EVERYTHING. You find it hard to trust again which affects how you open up to people, you feel stupid which leaves you questioning yourself, humiliation to the world because it shows there was something wrong and you were too stupid to spot it. People who cheat or knowingly facilitate cheating have no empathy. crystal" I've been cheated on for 6 years without ever doing it once back!!! Two wrongs don't make a right? The person who cheated on me, we had kids together and our sex life was very crap to say the least for which I am happy to take 50% of the blame for. Since sexually I've grown (not like that) but I am not prepared to live a lie again. This time I'm waiting to know the person is right for me before I commit. Hence my original question. I know on here 50% of these replies are genuine and 50% people are just saying the right thing. I'm not for 1 min justifying what I'm doing or more like intending to do, as right. but its what I need to do for me. I'm going to come clean but not before I've actualy cheated I've been with her 1 month and told her if I go swinging ill tell her I've done so. Then its upto her!! I've not gone swinging since we've met the question I've asked originally has now been answered and I'm clear in my mind the way forward!! I'm also new to swinging and some of my own replies have made other issues clear too.. | |||
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"So why not tell her before you cheat instead of after? " We have spoke about this in depth and also spoke about other things too. She already worries that the swinging will split us up!! In bedroom it is amazing but I don't think I'm cut out to not swing now I've found the piece of a jigsaw in my life!! I've asked her to do it and she won't do but I don't want to lose her before I've done the crime if that makes sence. Afterwards its her choice what from there.  | |||
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"Man up. Make a choice-split and swing or stick with her and be faithful. Stop being such a coward trying to find excuses for being deceitful. Until you've been cheated on, you have no idea what it does to you-it changes EVERYTHING. You find it hard to trust again which affects how you open up to people, you feel stupid which leaves you questioning yourself, humiliation to the world because it shows there was something wrong and you were too stupid to spot it. People who cheat or knowingly facilitate cheating have no empathy. crystal I've been cheated on for 6 years without ever doing it once back!!! Two wrongs don't make a right? The person who cheated on me, we had kids together and our sex life was very crap to say the least for which I am happy to take 50% of the blame for. Since sexually I've grown (not like that) but I am not prepared to live a lie again. This time I'm waiting to know the person is right for me before I commit. Hence my original question. I know on here 50% of these replies are genuine and 50% people are just saying the right thing. I'm not for 1 min justifying what I'm doing or more like intending to do, as right. but its what I need to do for me. I'm going to come clean but not before I've actualy cheated I've been with her 1 month and told her if I go swinging ill tell her I've done so. Then its upto her!! I've not gone swinging since we've met the question I've asked originally has now been answered and I'm clear in my mind the way forward!! I'm also new to swinging and some of my own replies have made other issues clear too.. " Two wrongs don't make a right... that made me  . So why would you do it to her? If you've been cheated on, then you should have a bloody good understanding of all the feelings it evokes.
You are trying to justify it-saying stuff like its not the real world in a club, I don't want to live a lie, you are giving reasons why you should continue on the path you are following.
You ARE living a lie NOW. You are with a girl who does not want to swing but you want to. You know that you do not want to stop swinging. So why continue to be with her? If she is monogamous, make her single again so she can find someone who has the same wants and needs as her and you can do what you want to do without any guilt.
Why would you tell after after you've cheated? How do you know she's not kidding herself thinking 'we have such great sex together, he won't go with anyone else, I'm all he needs'. Then you go cheat and she's left feeling stupid and foolish.
Being new to swinging does not excuse lack of basic normal day to day life etiquette.
crystal | |||
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"Foolish man. Break up wih the vanilla partner. You cant have your cake and eat it! Your naiive to the understanding of swinging. Consenting cheating pffffft! Cheating is un consenting. Your just finding an excuse to get sex here and now rather than waiting for your vanilla partner and having her please you! Go find her a man and tell her you have a surprise for her and let hin go fuck her senseless and let her meet him on a reg basis. Now how would you feel about that?? Why would I want to find her a man to have reg sex with? Why ain't that a thing she can do for herself if she felt the desire to do so? Free will? Or maybe she's satisfyd for first time in her life maybe men have had decades to fuck her senceless and not done? why do I need to find her a man when I can do the job.... It's like getting Everest to fit you windows and getting a cowboy to pull them out for you, then let the cowboy do a cowboys job?
Our am I missing the point that theres other cocks to feed? "Is that not saying that your not satisfied with her then? Im merely saying if you can 'be in two dimensions' then surely while your at a swingers club doing other couples a favour by playinb with them then shouldnt she get equal rights and let her fuck another guy, I had problems orgasming until I met my partner - he gets to fuck other women too, but since him iv cum with other guys cause I know what to do to make myself cum. I bet shes the same or shes just bigging you up. Haha if I were you id state in your profile you have a gf and explain the circumstances and see how many meets you get hahahha. What your doing is wrong. That poor woman should move on and be happy I mean you clearly arent if you have to fill a void. I hope more people see this and avoid you. | |||
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"Man up. Make a choice-split and swing or stick with her and be faithful. Stop being such a coward trying to find excuses for being deceitful. Until you've been cheated on, you have no idea what it does to you-it changes EVERYTHING. You find it hard to trust again which affects how you open up to people, you feel stupid which leaves you questioning yourself, humiliation to the world because it shows there was something wrong and you were too stupid to spot it. People who cheat or knowingly facilitate cheating have no empathy. crystal I've been cheated on for 6 years without ever doing it once back!!! Two wrongs don't make a right? The person who cheated on me, we had kids together and our sex life was very crap to say the least for which I am happy to take 50% of the blame for. Since sexually I've grown (not like that) but I am not prepared to live a lie again. This time I'm waiting to know the person is right for me before I commit. Hence my original question. I know on here 50% of these replies are genuine and 50% people are just saying the right thing. I'm not for 1 min justifying what I'm doing or more like intending to do, as right. but its what I need to do for me. I'm going to come clean but not before I've actualy cheated I've been with her 1 month and told her if I go swinging ill tell her I've done so. Then its upto her!! I've not gone swinging since we've met the question I've asked originally has now been answered and I'm clear in my mind the way forward!! I'm also new to swinging and some of my own replies have made other issues clear too.. Two wrongs don't make a right... that made me . So why would you do it to her? If you've been cheated on, then you should have a bloody good understanding of all the feelings it evokes.
You are trying to justify it-saying stuff like its not the real world in a club, I don't want to live a lie, you are giving reasons why you should continue on the path you are following.
You ARE living a lie NOW. You are with a girl who does not want to swing but you want to. You know that you do not want to stop swinging. So why continue to be with her? If she is monogamous, make her single again so she can find someone who has the same wants and needs as her and you can do what you want to do without any guilt.
Why would you tell after after you've cheated? How do you know she's not kidding herself thinking 'we have such great sex together, he won't go with anyone else, I'm all he needs'. Then you go cheat and she's left feeling stupid and foolish.
Being new to swinging does not excuse lack of basic normal day to day life etiquette.
crystal "Ok so I tell he before I do it? Or I not do it and leave site and stay with her and want to do it? | |||
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"Ok so I tell he before I do it? Or I not do it and leave site and stay with her and want to do it? " The former, you are being true to all involved. The latter, you aren't being 100% dedicated to her as you're left wanting more. Out of the two, I find the first option the most ethical and moral of the two. crystal | |||
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"Ok so I tell he before I do it? Or I not do it and leave site and stay with her and want to do it? The former, you are being true to all involved. The latter, you aren't being 100% dedicated to her as you're left wanting more. Out of the two, I find the first option the most ethical and moral of the two. crystal" Thanks, I will do so and feel pretty stupid about this only done swinging since start of September and its mentally more powerful a concept than I ever imagined it to be. And addictive I'd of loved her to of done it as a couple with me as I'm not a jealous person but finding like minded people is also hard to do. | |||
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"Met a woman, sex is amazing but she won't swing and would rip any woman's throat out that try'd it on with me.... Got a friend who met a guy same time who's very vanilla again he wouldn't swing... We have great sex before we met these partners. We now agree to be swinging partners for variety we was chatting to each other tonight and our _iew is this. If we goto a club its not cheating as we both enter a none vanilla world and when we leave the club we step back into the vanilla world so to us this is a differant dimension. So we feel we don't cheat... What's others take on this? "You are kidding yourselves. | |||
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"Ok so I tell he before I do it? Or I not do it and leave site and stay with her and want to do it? The former, you are being true to all involved. The latter, you aren't being 100% dedicated to her as you're left wanting more. Out of the two, I find the first option the most ethical and moral of the two. crystal" ^^ This
As I said above your choice seems to be to lie, chat and eventually hurt her, or be left feeling like you are missing something you clearly want to do. So you can't be true to yourself or true to her.
In that position I would extract myself from the whole situation and start over.
But that's just me | |||
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"Ok so I tell he before I do it? Or I not do it and leave site and stay with her and want to do it? The former, you are being true to all involved. The latter, you aren't being 100% dedicated to her as you're left wanting more. Out of the two, I find the first option the most ethical and moral of the two. crystal Thanks, I will do so and feel pretty stupid about this only done swinging since start of September and its mentally more powerful a concept than I ever imagined it to be. And addictive I'd of loved her to of done it as a couple with me as I'm not a jealous person but finding like minded people is also hard to do. " Not everyone will have the ability to swing. Within a couple, there has to be a very deep, strong foundation built on trust to avoid jealousy to make it work. Even the most secure couples have their struggles due to many reasons other than jealousy. Best of luck OP-I hope you do find what you're looking for. crystal | |||
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"Ok so I tell he before I do it? Or I not do it and leave site and stay with her and want to do it? The former, you are being true to all involved. The latter, you aren't being 100% dedicated to her as you're left wanting more. Out of the two, I find the first option the most ethical and moral of the two. crystal ^^ This
As I said above your choice seems to be to lie, chat and eventually hurt her, or be left feeling like you are missing something you clearly want to do. So you can't be true to yourself or true to her.
In that position I would extract myself from the whole situation and start over.
But that's just me "Would tell her and ask if we can stay fuck buddies be a solution? Leaving her the choice and me no guilt but the ability to swing without hurting her? | |||
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"Ok so I tell he before I do it? Or I not do it and leave site and stay with her and want to do it? The former, you are being true to all involved. The latter, you aren't being 100% dedicated to her as you're left wanting more. Out of the two, I find the first option the most ethical and moral of the two. crystal ^^ This
As I said above your choice seems to be to lie, chat and eventually hurt her, or be left feeling like you are missing something you clearly want to do. So you can't be true to yourself or true to her.
In that position I would extract myself from the whole situation and start over.
But that's just me
Would tell her and ask if we can stay fuck buddies be a solution? Leaving her the choice and me no guilt but the ability to swing without hurting her? "You could try that. And she may like the idea. But as you have already mentioned tearing throats out I would stay beyond arms reach when you do it | |||
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"I think you should continue to cheat on your partner, it seems she is very lucky to find a guy as talented as you in the bedroom, why should she go without orgasms? And with so many couples needing a talented man like you to fill the empty void in the consenting cheating life then how could you possibly give up swinging? Thank The Lord you are here " | |||
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"Ok so I tell he before I do it? Or I not do it and leave site and stay with her and want to do it? The former, you are being true to all involved. The latter, you aren't being 100% dedicated to her as you're left wanting more. Out of the two, I find the first option the most ethical and moral of the two. crystal ^^ This
As I said above your choice seems to be to lie, chat and eventually hurt her, or be left feeling like you are missing something you clearly want to do. So you can't be true to yourself or true to her.
In that position I would extract myself from the whole situation and start over.
But that's just me
Would tell her and ask if we can stay fuck buddies be a solution? Leaving her the choice and me no guilt but the ability to swing without hurting her? "HEADDESK Leave her to find what she truly wants which is a man who is dedicated to her. She does not want to swing. It is HORRIBLE to be in the scenario you've described. You think 'he'll realise what he's doing isn't what's best for him and choose me, what's wrong with me? Why would he be with others? He's not really going to do it, he won't do it again'. It destroys you. I go back to my initial statement altered slightly... take a teaspoon of cement and harden the fuck up. crystal | |||
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" Would tell her and ask if we can stay fuck buddies be a solution? Leaving her the choice and me no guilt but the ability to swing without hurting her? "This is very telling on what the relationship means to you. Fuck me you simply have no empathy whatsoever. | |||
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" I go back to my initial statement altered slightly... take a teaspoon of cement and harden the fuck up. crystal" Forget the cement, just find his girl and give her two house bricks | |||
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to lie to the person you profess to love? cant be justified, I have a wandering eye...and hands to match, I don't hide it and refuse to feel ashamed for being attracted to hot guys...i'm a sexual woman and that does not change when I enter a relationship!
you could try being honest about your feelings and stand yer ground! | |||
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"Men & their reality x lol Hate to around when this bubble bursts "Not just men in this instance woman doing same. | |||
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" I go back to my initial statement altered slightly... take a teaspoon of cement and harden the fuck up. crystal Forget the cement, just find his girl and give her two house bricks "Nope, I need the house bricks to bang my head against... | |||
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"yep it's cheating........ sign the fession...!!!!! lol "I want haribo now | |||
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"yep it's cheating........ sign the fession...!!!!! lol
I want haribo now "lol mmmm I got some in cuboard...... mmmmmmm love them !!! | |||
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"Men & their reality x lol Hate to around when this bubble bursts
Not just men in this instance woman doing same."There are a couple who usually come into these threads with "woe is me" posts in an effort to justify it. | |||
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"OP : why don't you just show your partner your post and ask for her opinion ? "
Genius solution that.
I suspect a new laptop, lots of things including limbs flying and kitchen knives may well be involved afterwards.
If not the poor woman will be reduced to tears and will curl up in a ball, her confidence shattered, crying for days on end, what resemblance of trust she had started to gain being blown away like dust in the wind.
Or you tell her now and let her find a man that will give her the monogamy she desires. | |||
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"cheat...don't cheat? don't care!
to lie to the person you profess to love? cant be justified, I have a wandering eye...and hands to match, I don't hide it and refuse to feel ashamed for being attracted to hot guys...i'm a sexual woman and that does not change when I enter a relationship!
you could try being honest about your feelings and stand yer ground! "Thank you, x | |||
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"I admire the honesty of the post, I'm sure there are far worse on here who don't even dare such posts. But that's where the bravery and common sense kick in.... Just be a man about it, tell the people you supposedly care about so they can make real judgements on the real you? " Thank you. | |||
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Firstly, you're deluding yourself if going to a club isn't cheating
Secondly, don't judge others on here,most people are responding on here with their opinion - dont judge that others are lying
Lying is mainly the majority share of what is wrong in cheating
We, and so many others on here are not "cheating with consent" as you like to think. You obviously don't understand about why people like us swing, it's to enhance not replace.
Your life, make your decisions but don't hurt anyone in the process - that's the no no.
Ruby | |||
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"OP : why don't you just show your partner your post and ask for her opinion ?
Genius solution that.
I suspect a new laptop, lots of things including limbs flying and kitchen knives may well be involved afterwards.
If not the poor woman will be reduced to tears and will curl up in a ball, her confidence shattered, crying for days on end, what resemblance of trust she had started to gain being blown away like dust in the wind.
Or you tell her now and let her find a man that will give her the monogamy she desires. "Or maybe she can find a married man who can't satisfy her??? Like she's done over the past 25years?? ... Maybe its Easyer to slaughter someone who tells it how it is than accept everybody being individuals and different anyone who judges someone on a thread on here is nothing but a fool even in real life you don't get to know a true person always as for the comment before where someone said avoid that's abit heavy based on a forum thread and a picture of a chest ain't it? My morals in real life are beter than most. Don't judge me by one thread or is everyone else on here perfect and if so I bow down!!! | |||
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"Wow....
Firstly, you're deluding yourself if going to a club isn't cheating
Secondly, don't judge others on here,most people are responding on here with their opinion - dont judge that others are lying
Lying is mainly the majority share of what is wrong in cheating
We, and so many others on here are not "cheating with consent" as you like to think. You obviously don't understand about why people like us swing, it's to enhance not replace.
Your life, make your decisions but don't hurt anyone in the process - that's the no no.
Ruby"I understand the enhance part but I am not a expert on swinging and was asking a question your answer is fair but some are just plain nasty. I was being honest and it turns out I'm now the great satan!!!! I will do the right thing once I get my head around everything I enjoy swinging and the people I've met so far. In hindsight maybe I'd of not been honest on here. And the problem will be addressed without the help of Jeramy Kyle | |||
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"Wow....
Firstly, you're deluding yourself if going to a club isn't cheating
Secondly, don't judge others on here,most people are responding on here with their opinion - dont judge that others are lying
Lying is mainly the majority share of what is wrong in cheating
We, and so many others on here are not "cheating with consent" as you like to think. You obviously don't understand about why people like us swing, it's to enhance not replace.
Your life, make your decisions but don't hurt anyone in the process - that's the no no.
Ruby"I understand the enhance part but I am not a expert on swinging and was asking a question your answer is fair but some are just plain nasty. I was being honest and it turns out I'm now the great satan!!!! I will do the right thing once I get my head around everything I enjoy swinging and the people I've met so far. In hindsight maybe I'd of not been honest on here. And the problem will be addressed without the help of Jeramy Kyle | |||
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"Maybe just maybe she might find an un married one that wants what she does though. You know sometimes these things happen. I'm not judging you. I am trying to offer the insight of someone that did the cheat thing actually. Yeah I am really not proud of it. After 13 years of faithful marriage, but struggling to deal with myself living a lie I eventually felt the need to have some cock. Now my wife already knew I was bisexual when we got married. But she put that down to a phase. Unfortunately it wasn't the case. I actually needed to stop denying myself and come out as trans as well as bi, but I wasn't ready for it. Anyway so I cheated on her. Then after about 6 months I felt ready to come out and so I did and admitted cheating on her too. I destroyed her. I must go through life knowing how deeply I hurt her and I can promise you I am not proud of it. Thankfully it seems not so much that she has a new fella. And I hope he will look after her as well as I did for 13 years. I know what it's like trying to live a lie and carry that weight around for a very long time. Honestly it's very hard. I suffered 4 major depression episodes and had a nervous breakdown and flirted with suicide not long before I came out ( just after I cheated on my now ex wife). I really wouldn't recommend this path. Your choice at the end of the day. Follow your heart though. " Thank you for your honesty. And your reply x | |||
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"You're welcome. I learnt the error of my mistake rather spectacularly. It's really not a good idea if you want to continue swinging. X " Well I've not cheated before and have not done so yet hence probably me trying to justify it | |||
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"Met a woman, sex is amazing but she won't swing and would rip any woman's throat out that try'd it on with me.... Got a friend who met a guy same time who's very vanilla again he wouldn't swing... We have great sex before we met these partners. We now agree to be swinging partners for variety we was chatting to each other tonight and our _iew is this. If we goto a club its not cheating as we both enter a none vanilla world and when we leave the club we step back into the vanilla world so to us this is a differant dimension. So we feel we don't cheat... What's others take on this?
no question about it cheating is cheating and i don't think either of you have even considered your PARTNERS feelings with what your both doing have you considered how your partner would feel if they found out?
Both partners only short term so far and our friendship much longer/stronger. If relationship builds things would change but if partners won't consider swinging at any point and surely its a mater of time before relationships break down? No give or take in relationship? The cheating is not within marrage and maybe its not right but if my partner was to swing I'd be happy to stay faithfull with more chance of a future together. I'm happy to separate the vanilla and none vanilla life choices well at least for now anyway
Why should your partner swing? Did she say she was into it before you got together? ?
Perhaps you and your fb should let your new partners go before things get even messier, and just have your relationship together. "That could work... | |||
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"cheat...don't cheat? don't care!
to lie to the person you profess to love? cant be justified, I have a wandering eye...and hands to match, I don't hide it and refuse to feel ashamed for being attracted to hot guys...i'm a sexual woman and that does not change when I enter a relationship!
you could try being honest about your feelings and stand yer ground!
Thank you, x"if I were in your shoes.... I would tell the gf that your going to a swing club, invite her to come....tell her you intend to play and would love for her to be a part of it... if she has any respect for YOUR feelings she will at least discuss the issue....be true to yourself, if she cant allow you the personal freedom you are entitled to then maybe she's not for you! | |||
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"cheat...don't cheat? don't care!
to lie to the person you profess to love? cant be justified, I have a wandering eye...and hands to match, I don't hide it and refuse to feel ashamed for being attracted to hot guys...i'm a sexual woman and that does not change when I enter a relationship!
you could try being honest about your feelings and stand yer ground!
Thank you, x
if I were in your shoes....
I would tell the gf that your going to a swing club, invite her to come....tell her you intend to play and would love for her to be a part of it...
if she has any respect for YOUR feelings she will at least discuss the issue....be true to yourself, if she cant allow you the personal freedom you are entitled to then maybe she's not for you! "Best answer yet!! | |||
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"Met a woman, sex is amazing but she won't swing and would rip any woman's throat out that try'd it on with me.... Got a friend who met a guy same time who's very vanilla again he wouldn't swing... We have great sex before we met these partners. We now agree to be swinging partners for variety we was chatting to each other tonight and our _iew is this. If we goto a club its not cheating as we both enter a none vanilla world and when we leave the club we step back into the vanilla world so to us this is a differant dimension. So we feel we don't cheat... What's others take on this?
no question about it cheating is cheating and i don't think either of you have even considered your PARTNERS feelings with what your both doing have you considered how your partner would feel if they found out?
Both partners only short term so far and our friendship much longer/stronger. If relationship builds things would change but if partners won't consider swinging at any point and surely its a mater of time before relationships break down? No give or take in relationship? The cheating is not within marrage and maybe its not right but if my partner was to swing I'd be happy to stay faithfull with more chance of a future together. I'm happy to separate the vanilla and none vanilla life choices well at least for now anyway
This has to be one of the most screwed up pieces of 'logic' I've ever read!
Yeah that's logic of the bellend if ever I've heard it!!
If swinging has to be part of your relationship then grow a pair of balls, man up and end the non swinging relationship now. Poor woman doesn't deserve to be disrespected in such a way simply because you want different things to her!!
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"cheat...don't cheat? don't care!
to lie to the person you profess to love? cant be justified, I have a wandering eye...and hands to match, I don't hide it and refuse to feel ashamed for being attracted to hot guys...i'm a sexual woman and that does not change when I enter a relationship!
you could try being honest about your feelings and stand yer ground!
Thank you, x
if I were in your shoes....
I would tell the gf that your going to a swing club, invite her to come....tell her you intend to play and would love for her to be a part of it...
if she has any respect for YOUR feelings she will at least discuss the issue....be true to yourself, if she cant allow you the personal freedom you are entitled to then maybe she's not for you! "I have try'd this approach she don't want to lose me but don't want to swing either. I can tell you now if I tell her I'm going swinging without her its just going to get messy!! If I leave her and swing she will come back anyway probably as I don't think she will give up her new found sex life... I've decided I'm telling her the day before I next swing if she don't come I'm going with the other woman, right or wrong that's what I'm going to do.. Her call !! And as for the person who said find her a guy to fuck her senseless if that's what she would like she should come to the club and enjoy it there and yes I'll get off on that also!!! | |||
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"I've decided I'm telling her the day before I next swing if she don't come I'm going with the other woman, right or wrong that's what I'm going to do.. Her call !! "I think thats the best thing you should do so she has a choice of wether she wants to be with a man who issues ultimatums over swinging and who obviously doesn't care for her as much as she may think. | |||
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"I've decided I'm telling her the day before I next swing if she don't come I'm going with the other woman, right or wrong that's what I'm going to do.. Her call !!
I think thats the best thing you should do so she has a choice of wether she wants to be with a man who issues ultimatums over swinging and who obviously doesn't care for her as much as she may think.
"
what an absolute charmer the OP is showing himself to be. doesnt care about someones feelings as long as he gets his cock wet.
Seriously mate just set her free. she obviously isnt the one for you or you wouldn't want to continue swinging knowing its something she isnt interested in at all. she has been honest with you yet you are not affording her the same courtesy. | |||
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"Cheating is a crime, it happens every day There are people running around, soon they'll have to pay Think nobody's watching, but you better think again Another heart is broken, by the devil's oldest sin So broken hearted (so broken hearted), strangulating pain inside Broken hearted (broken hearted), waiting for the tears to dry So broken hearted (broken hearted), hoping for the sun to shine Broken hearted (broken hearted), if you want to play, be prepared to pay...yeah. Cross your heart and tell a lie, stick a needle in your eye For some beloved promise Tell the whole world why, why, why So you're sorry and you're cryin', ain't no sympathy in sin So don't get caught red handed, in a game you just can't win. So broken hearted (so broken hearted), strangulating pain inside Broken hearted (broken hearted), waiting for the tears to dry So broken hearted (broken hearted), hoping for the sun to shine Broken hearted (broken hearted), if you want to play, be prepared to pay...yeah. (Repeat) So broken hearted" | |||
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"Met a woman, sex is amazing but she won't swing and would rip any woman's throat out that try'd it on with me.... Got a friend who met a guy same time who's very vanilla again he wouldn't swing... We have great sex before we met these partners. We now agree to be swinging partners for variety we was chatting to each other tonight and our _iew is this. If we goto a club its not cheating as we both enter a none vanilla world and when we leave the club we step back into the vanilla world so to us this is a differant dimension. So we feel we don't cheat... What's others take on this? "And do you enter these clubs via the back of a wardrobe by any chance? If so, i'd give em a miss cos Narnia seems to be affecting your perceptions of reality mate! | |||
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"Cheating is cheating FULL STOP! In my humble opinion the vastly experienced OP (since Sept lol!!) needs to let the poor girl off the hook before she gets badly hurt ... As for him, can I suggest that his time might be best spent enrolling for an english class at his local college ... I for one barely understood the ramblings "In every forum you always get some clever twat looking for problems with Grammer!!! Lady I think you realy need to smell the coffee!!! FACT I've been with her one month!!! FACT you don't love someone after a month FACT if your so clever and you read the threads yourl see that I've not cheated and going to tell her the night before FACT a large percentage of all dating sites are full of married men or men that just ain't single why do you think that women are a minority on such sites in not married nor being a scape goat for these people. FACT I'm not going to continue to be slaughtered here by total hypocrites you know who you are & I ain't being a scapegoat because youv been used or cheated on in the past it was a question The answers is clearly cheating is cheating I've said I will not do it FACT how proud are you that in a group you can pick on someone youv never met and don't know?? people lie here every day to fuck you!!!your wife!!! or your husband!!! (in not saying the genuine swingers before you start again or play on words)and I'm also not saying dont play but like me have the backbone to be honest!!! and the people I have met and played with have never treat me like this, I believe a genuine swinger would say its wrong but not go onto some sort of charictor assassination!!! FACT do all the clever dicks want to have a meeting and say what I'm allowed to do!!! FACT and final FACT I've took on board the constructive comments and will act on them... I think some of the members here need to grow the fuck up!!! And finally Thant you to the people who have said that its wrong... Without the personal comments X | |||
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"Cheating is cheating FULL STOP! In my humble opinion the vastly experienced OP (since Sept lol!!) needs to let the poor girl off the hook before she gets badly hurt ... As for him, can I suggest that his time might be best spent enrolling for an english class at his local college ... I for one barely understood the ramblings
In every forum you always get some clever twat looking for problems with Grammer!!!
Lady I think you realy need to smell the coffee!!!
FACT I've been with her one month!!!
FACT you don't love someone after a month
FACT if your so clever and you read the threads yourl see that I've not cheated and going to tell her the night before
FACT a large percentage of all dating sites are full of married men or men that just ain't single why do you think that women are a minority on such sites in not married nor being a scape goat for these people.
FACT I'm not going to continue to be slaughtered here by total hypocrites you know who you are & I ain't being a scapegoat because youv been used or cheated on in the past it was a question
The answers is clearly cheating is cheating I've said I will not do it
FACT how proud are you that in a group you can pick on someone youv never met and don't know?? people lie here every day to fuck you!!!your wife!!! or your husband!!! (in not saying the genuine swingers before you start again or play on words)and I'm also not saying dont play but like me have the backbone to be honest!!! and the people I have met and played with have never treat me like this, I believe a genuine swinger would say its wrong but not go onto some sort of charictor assassination!!!
FACT do all the clever dicks want to have a meeting and say what I'm allowed to do!!!
FACT and final FACT I've took on board the constructive comments and will act on them... I think some of the members here need to grow the fuck up!!!
And finally Thant you to the people who have said that its wrong... Without the personal comments
X ""FACT I'm not going to continue to be slaughtered here by total hypocrites you know who you are & I ain't being a scapegoat because youv been used or cheated on in the past it was a question" Looks like you didn't like some of the answers..... | |||
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |||
"Cheating is cheating FULL STOP! In my humble opinion the vastly experienced OP (since Sept lol!!) needs to let the poor girl off the hook before she gets badly hurt ... As for him, can I suggest that his time might be best spent enrolling for an english class at his local college ... I for one barely understood the ramblings
In every forum you always get some clever twat looking for problems with Grammer!!!
Lady I think you realy need to smell the coffee!!!
FACT I've been with her one month!!!
FACT you don't love someone after a month
FACT if your so clever and you read the threads yourl see that I've not cheated and going to tell her the night before
FACT a large percentage of all dating sites are full of married men or men that just ain't single why do you think that women are a minority on such sites in not married nor being a scape goat for these people.
FACT I'm not going to continue to be slaughtered here by total hypocrites you know who you are & I ain't being a scapegoat because youv been used or cheated on in the past it was a question
The answers is clearly cheating is cheating I've said I will not do it
FACT how proud are you that in a group you can pick on someone youv never met and don't know?? people lie here every day to fuck you!!!your wife!!! or your husband!!! (in not saying the genuine swingers before you start again or play on words)and I'm also not saying dont play but like me have the backbone to be honest!!! and the people I have met and played with have never treat me like this, I believe a genuine swinger would say its wrong but not go onto some sort of charictor assassination!!!
FACT do all the clever dicks want to have a meeting and say what I'm allowed to do!!!
FACT and final FACT I've took on board the constructive comments and will act on them... I think some of the members here need to grow the fuck up!!!
And finally Thant you to the people who have said that its wrong... Without the personal comments
X
"FACT I'm not going to continue to be slaughtered here by total hypocrites you know who you are & I ain't being a scapegoat because youv been used or cheated on in the past it was a question"
Looks like you didn't like some of the answers..... "I agree the dummies well and truely been thrown out if the pram | |||
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |||
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Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |||
