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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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how do you deal with the aftermath of a bad meet. when you really didn't fancy the person but went through the motions with them as they had travel an hour too you.
can decide wheither verife the either as can think of anything nice to write or checky with out being rude.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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without going into detail of how disappointing the meet was for you,you could verify the person as genuine,and that they made the effort to travel the distance to see you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That's why I always meet beforehand as I know I'm not going to fancy everyone and vice versa.
Could and would never play with someone I don't like: think to highly of myself for that: wouldn't care if they'd flown in on a flock of Canada geese! 
You are also under no obligation to verify anyone!
I personally struggle to understand your problem!  |
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personally i have done it when i was first on this site and found it hard to say to their face that i didnt want to meet them
left general feedback to let people know they were genuine.
the issue came when they kept bugging to meet again  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I once had a bad meet, it happened one night after a good piss up with the lads
We went to Achmals Kebab Emporium and had a large donna, but in the morning - talk about 'through the eye of a needle' jeez.
So we went I went to the doctors and he said, "did you have a kebab last night" I told him yes, so he said, "Hmmmmmmmm it seems like you've had bad meet"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have had similar, met one guy on a monday night who lives in the same city, kept putting his leg next to mine, even when i moved it, asked me if i fancied linking up as a couple, then tried it on big time at Mystiques, ran like a scared rabbit then blocked him  far too much alcohol involved on his part
Went to meet a couple, very nice but she was already d*unk by the time i got there, im not used to drinking plus id been working both jobs so was tired, she spent most of the night disappearing off to the lounge for yet more alcohol and a smoke, got a text from him in the morning that made me think he wants to play but she's not so sure. Havent played since and dont want to either, alcohol definitely spoilt that one
Met a quite nice man, dont fancy him, dont want to play, made the excuse that as id been off work for a week, couldnt really book more time off as i dont want to play with him 
got another that claims to have played with a few, yet only one verification from May last year who couldnt actually remember him, arranged to meet, i thought a definite, but he didnt seem to think so, also got a message from him "so what makes you come" what can i say, really not sure that i want to meet this man at all even more so after he text me at 7am to tell me he was going to be busy and not able to get online who bloody cares!!!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally i would have been honest from the start and said 'sorry i know you have travelled a distance but your photo is not really a true likeness and id rather be honest with you and say you are not for me, but lets go have a drink as you cant have too many friends' if he was a gentlemen he would accept. And if he was an arsehole and didnt then you still walk away with your integrity intact. x |
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"how do you deal with the aftermath of a bad meet. when you really didn't fancy the person but went through the motions with them as they had travel an hour too you.
can decide wheither verife the either as can think of anything nice to write or checky with out being rude. "
Is why I keep my meets relatively with local people only and why I make the first meet always a social meet.
That way they don't get the hump when nothing happens if ther is no sexual chemistry (on either side) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We will not meet if the people we meet want a guarantee that sex is going to take place.
We always meet on a no strings basis to see if everyone is happy to take things further.
We don't want to play with people just because they feel obligated to do so and we certainly won't play with anyone we don't find sexually attractive.
If people don't want to meet us under this criteria, that is thier choice and we would not feel bad about them if they declined a meet. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"how do you deal with the aftermath of a bad meet. when you really didn't fancy the person but went through the motions with them as they had travel an hour too you.
can decide wheither verife the either as can think of anything nice to write or checky with out being rude. "
We wouldn't have had to verify them saying we had played, as we wouldn't have played in the first place....no matter how far they had travelled ( although we do only meet localish people anyway) if we didn't want to carry on with the meet, we wouldn't have done.
But to your question, if you want to verify them, just say you know they are real as you met in person. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree i find it hard to believe no matter how the meet ends up taking place, anyone would or should feel they have to play!It's insulting to play with someone out of obligation don't make excuses just say its nice to meet you but no thanks i am not interested in playing with you!If they ask for a reason "because thats how i feel" should do! If you are the person on the receiving of the no thanks handle it with some dignity say no problem and move on!if your dealing with adults we all know its not always going to happen,nice as it is when it does!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe next time Hippies you will have the courage to say, sorry but it's not working sexually for me, and try to enjoy it as a social meet.
It's a difficult situation for some saying no thank you, but it does get easier the more you have to say it. Accepting the knockbacks and that we are not to everyone's taste is all part of this swinging world.
If you have had someone decline you think how they did it? xxx |
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By *hristalCouple
over a year ago
Northampton |
I know that some wont agree but that is why we prefer to meet for a social only.
Having said that we have played on a first meet before but that way nothing is expected and you can all decide if you wish to take it further.
At end of the day its down to the persons involved and how they wish to sort meets and swing. At worst you have made two new friends.
Christalx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"how do you deal with the aftermath of a bad meet. when you really didn't fancy the person but went through the motions with them as they had travel an hour too you.
can decide wheither verife the either as can think of anything nice to write or checky with out being rude. "
ive done that a few times when i was new to this, as i found it very hard to say to peoples face, sorry but your not my type, so i used to just think of England and let them have sex with me, its a horrible feeling and i remember going home after one meet and just sitting on the bed crying, thinking fuck me is this what swinging is all about, me just being a pair of tits for any fat ugly bloke to fuck
How you deal with that is, make first meets social only, for a drink and make sure they understand that, of course if you meet someone and sparks fly and you really want to shag them you can change that rule on the meet lol but if you say drink only before hand you have a easy cop out, and the end of the night i just say, well nice to meet you, best get back now i'll be in touch via the site, then i message them saying they wasnt my type as i find that much easier than face to face
As for verifications, ive met a few guys i really didnt like but if they turned up and did as agreed then to me they genuine, at the end of the day you dont have to vuerify people, ive had loads of meets who havnt verified me and visa versa, but all you have to say is
Turned up as arranged, happy to verify as a genuine member, i think thats enough lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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he wouldnt come into pub cause he wouldn't be drinking so that was the first problem we had with him but like I said have to live with my mistakes and should have told him if cant be seen with us then we are not interested. so we will be insiting on that for next meet. he did want it to be regular but it wont happen |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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hell if there is no fancying on the actual meet, to hell with going thru the motions, no thanks, cuppa or a drink and sorry but bye bye xxx whether they travelled for 20 mins or 3 hours its a chance we all take when we arrange a meet lol |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"he wouldnt come into pub cause he wouldn't be drinking so that was the first problem we had with him but like I said have to live with my mistakes and should have told him if cant be seen with us then we are not interested. so we will be insiting on that for next meet. he did want it to be regular but it wont happen"
We don't drink hippies, but always meet at a local.
If you are not happy with what the meet wants even before you have met them, we wouldn't meet at all.
Maybe a social meet first is the way to go for you, wherever that may be. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We had a really bad meet which was our first meet a few weeks ago, we all agreed at the start that it would be safe then while doing sep room full swap the male tried to take advantage of our fem by inserting himself without protection thinking our fem wouldnt notice, she told him to put on a condom and he said 'think we shouldnt tell our partners' and then if that wasnt bad enough we later found out that the fem of the other couple was 3 months pregnant at time of meet.... OUT OF ORDER!!
Because of this we almost scrapped the idea of swinging but thought we would give it one last go, and sooooo glad we did as we have met another fantastic couple who we have met over 4 times and feel so comfortable round them that we did bareback with them lastnight which was fantastic!!!
So we say dont let those few dickheads spoil it for u, they are not all like that!!
C&A |
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By *aravancoupleMan
over a year ago
A Secret Hideaway In the caravan of love |
We one's had a bad meet we met, them on a Friday for a chat and a drink to see how we all got along, we all got on great and arranged to meet 2 week's later, the day come to meet them we went to there place, then came out a list of rules like no kissing on hugging just a little bit of fore play no licking and so on and so on Carol & i just looked at each other said our good buy's and left. |
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I agree with most, best way to meet socially first to see if all parties get along/gel.. At least it gives an indication if you wish to take it any further. And again can still veri and say you have met socially and can verify they are real.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm the same, always have a quick coffee or perhaps a lunch meet to chat, get to know each other a little before arranging any play meets. Once had one meet start with coffee in the morning that went into lunch then dinner! Still arranged another day for a play meet. xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I met a guy with my b/f for a mmf well was ment to be. All he wanted was a b/j when i asked for some oral in return he told me he wasnt it the mood. This guy e mailed us the day after for some feedback not a chance that wasnt no 3 som lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"he wouldnt come into pub cause he wouldn't be drinking so that was the first problem we had with him but like I said have to live with my mistakes and should have told him if cant be seen with us then we are not interested. so we will be insiting on that for next meet. he did want it to be regular but it wont happen"
did you meet as a couple? i find it suprising that a couple would go thro with this, did you not tell you fella you didnt like him? i would have thought most men wouldnt let their wifes play with a guy they didnt like, i can understand why women would, as i have, its hard doing this alone, if you get into sticky situations you have noone to help you out
As for not drinking, all my meets are for a drink and see how it goes, if they dont want to meet me for a drink, thats their choice, i'll find someone who will  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I met a guy with my b/f for a mmf well was ment to be. All he wanted was a b/j when i asked for some oral in return he told me he wasnt it the mood. This guy e mailed us the day after for some feedback not a chance that wasnt no 3 som lol "
i've had that before, and i leave them feed back, but not feed back they would have shown anyone lol good to get a point over tho
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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They all say they are up for dp and done it before and end up with soft cock not a good start for a dp i told him he wasnt getting any feed back cos he was crap and it wasnt a 3 som ffs |
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This is why we like to meet at chams - it feels like you have a bit more wiggle room that way Otherwise we would only meet locally with it being clear that it's a social encounter with no strings - its a lot more fun when you dont feel under pressure! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is why we like to meet at chams - it feels like you have a bit more wiggle room that way Otherwise we would only meet locally with it being clear that it's a social encounter with no strings - its a lot more fun when you dont feel under pressure! "
as a single woman clubs are good for me, they a safe place to meet etc, i use chams a lot tho it has to be said ive played with some dodgy guys in there and had some bad play sessions |
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By *umpkinMan
over a year ago
near the sounds of the wimborne quarter jack! |
"I once had a bad meet, it happened one night after a good piss up with the lads
We went to Achmals Kebab Emporium and had a large donna, but in the morning - talk about 'through the eye of a needle' jeez.
So we went I went to the doctors and he said, "did you have a kebab last night" I told him yes, so he said, "Hmmmmmmmm it seems like you've had bad meet"
"
At least one of us noticed the joke!  |
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"how do you deal with the aftermath of a bad meet. when you really didn't fancy the person but went through the motions with them as they had travel an hour too you.
can decide wheither verife the either as can think of anything nice to write or checky with out being rude. "
Next time before any meet insist on a good photo of the person or couple you are meeting. If the photo is a bit blurry or not very close up (I mean if the photo was taking about a mile from where they are standing)ask for a better one. If you are meeting a couple insist you see a pic of both of them.
If when they turn up you find although the photo was of him/her/them but about 15 years ago I I would mention it.
If after seeing the photo if you think I would do him/them lol then have a few chats on MSN or Skype internet telephone. You may fancy them physically but you may find their personality off putting.
If things are going well tell them you usually have the first meet as a social meet to see how you get along. If things are going well and you still fancy them break your rule of no sex on the first meeting lol.
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