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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I have a question...asking because I'm very interested in others opinions on it.
Are swinging couples who consent to having sex with others, committing adultery?
The definition of adultery in the dictionary is 'extra marital sex'
What are your thoughts? |
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Yes it is by definition - it's not really something you can have an opinion on and you've already discovered the answer.
But it's not a crime, and only a sin if you believe in fairy tales. As to the morality of it, that depends on your moral compass. If it conflicts with that, then one has to question why a person would be on here? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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yes but who the fuck cares to be honest, the bible says homosexuality is some form of evil curse...i respect peoples religions, but for some of their 'teachings' i can safely say they go against the basic rights of humanity, so i will therefore have to say if any STRICT bible followers are reading,you are a shame. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What if a couple have a different moral compass between them?"
doesnt matter, adultery is a religious and legal definition that is a societal construction |
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"What if a couple have a different moral compass between them?
doesnt matter, adultery is a religious and legal definition that is a societal construction "
Exactly my point - wish I'd put it like that   |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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An open marriage/relationship is an interesting term too.
It's basically one another agreeing to be adulterous? If they are both consenting does that make it ok?
Do you think it's society that creates the problem? If both consent but society looks down on them, does that still make it wrong?
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By *r mrs pCouple
over a year ago
taunton |
"I have a question...asking because I'm very interested in others opinions on it.
Are swinging couples who consent to having sex with others, committing adultery?
The definition of adultery in the dictionary is 'extra marital sex'
What are your thoughts?"
As a couple that have been married for 33 years, never cheated on each other, we dont consider swinging adultery, we do it together, not behind the others back, in fact its same room or not all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What if a couple have a different moral compass between them?"
Could be that one moral compass points squarely at monogamy whilst the other points at playing away, of course that would never happen tho would it |
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"Yes it is by definition
But we don't see it that way, Not sure many other swingers would either! "
Erm, you mean to say that we can choose the definition of words to suit ourselves - blimey, that would lead to lexical anarchy and complete breakdown of all verbal and written communication.
The word Adultery has a formal definition.
It depends whether you see it as a negative stigmatised thing, which we don't, and presumably all other consenting swingers don't either |
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"What if a couple have a different moral compass between them?
doesnt matter, adultery is a religious and legal definition that is a societal construction
Exactly my point - wish I'd put it like that "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Does adultery by its very definition not imply that one half of the couple is engaged in extramarital sex thereby wronging their spouse?
If that is the case then swinging, where no one is wronging anyone as everyone is consenting cannot be seen as adultery..........if that makes sense |
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"Does adultery by its very definition not imply that one half of the couple is engaged in extramarital sex thereby wronging their spouse?
If that is the case then swinging, where no one is wronging anyone as everyone is consenting cannot be seen as adultery..........if that makes sense "
Nope, adultery by definition, is extra marital sex. Whether you think adultery is wrong or not and under what conditions it may or may not be wrong, is totally up to you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does adultery by its very definition not imply that one half of the couple is engaged in extramarital sex thereby wronging their spouse?
If that is the case then swinging, where no one is wronging anyone as everyone is consenting cannot be seen as adultery..........if that makes sense
Nope, adultery by definition, is extra marital sex. Whether you think adultery is wrong or not and under what conditions it may or may not be wrong, is totally up to you."
Whilst its normal to pour scorn on Wiki reading the variety of definitions on there it suggests the crime of adultery is where a married person has sex with someone other than their spouse without the spouses knowledge or permission.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Isn't society the one that says adultery is wrong?
Or....do we label ourselves according to what we feel best. The lesser of two evils so to speak.
If adultery is extra marital sex then surely those couples consenting and swinging together in the same room are committing adultery? But if they couldn't care less about what society thinks then what's the harm? |
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I often take my cues for living from a book written about a magic man in the sky 2000 years ago.
I wonder what the OP thinks about sex outside of marriage which according to the source material she is referencing just as much of a "sin".
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To further confuse things have a read of this,
A marriage in which both spouses agree ahead of time to accept sexual relations by either partner with others is sometimes referred to as an open marriage or the swinging lifestyle. Both are a form of non-monogamy, and the spouses would not view the sexual relations as adultery. However, irrespective of the stated views of the partners, extra-marital relations could still be considered adultery and a crime in some legal jurisdictions.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I often take my cues for living from a book written about a magic man in the sky 2000 years ago.
I wonder what the OP thinks about sex outside of marriage which according to the source material she is referencing just as much of a "sin".
"
Not quite sure what you're getting at with that post.
I'm asking because I'm at loggerheads with my husband. His moral compass is very much pointing to the old fashioned values of marriage. Mine wants to explore, share, experiment and enjoy. Two different views is making life very interesting but very difficult at the same time.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I often take my cues for living from a book written about a magic man in the sky 2000 years ago.
I wonder what the OP thinks about sex outside of marriage which according to the source material she is referencing just as much of a "sin".
Not quite sure what you're getting at with that post.
I'm asking because I'm at loggerheads with my husband. His moral compass is very much pointing to the old fashioned values of marriage. Mine wants to explore, share, experiment and enjoy. Two different views is making life very interesting but very difficult at the same time. "
Does he enjoy this site? |
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"I often take my cues for living from a book written about a magic man in the sky 2000 years ago.
I wonder what the OP thinks about sex outside of marriage which according to the source material she is referencing just as much of a "sin".
Not quite sure what you're getting at with that post.
I'm asking because I'm at loggerheads with my husband. His moral compass is very much pointing to the old fashioned values of marriage. Mine wants to explore, share, experiment and enjoy. Two different views is making life very interesting but very difficult at the same time. "
Asking us what we think has no bearing on your relationship and I really hope you don't think that you can use replies on here to somehow prove to him that he's wrong. No one should be coerced, persuaded or otherwise encouraged into this lifestyle least of all your life partner. If you want it and he doesn't that's between you two and in my opinion you should respect him enough to keep from discussing him with strangers on the net. And yes I have said the same to men posting similar threads. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I often take my cues for living from a book written about a magic man in the sky 2000 years ago.
I wonder what the OP thinks about sex outside of marriage which according to the source material she is referencing just as much of a "sin".
Not quite sure what you're getting at with that post.
I'm asking because I'm at loggerheads with my husband. His moral compass is very much pointing to the old fashioned values of marriage. Mine wants to explore, share, experiment and enjoy. Two different views is making life very interesting but very difficult at the same time. "
This is slightly different from your OP
Two consenting adults with the same opinions and views are very different from two adults with very different opinions!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm absolutely not coercing or persuading him in any way. We've shared opinions on this, that is all.
I'm just really interested in other peoples opinions as it's not something that can be openly discussed with family or friends!
Sometimes knowing what 'strangers' on the net think is helpful.
I've hardly posted on the forums, mainly because I've seen others get totally slated on some threads.
Honestly, I'm after others thoughts. That is all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm absolutely not coercing or persuading him in any way. We've shared opinions on this, that is all.
I'm just really interested in other peoples opinions as it's not something that can be openly discussed with family or friends!
Sometimes knowing what 'strangers' on the net think is helpful.
I've hardly posted on the forums, mainly because I've seen others get totally slated on some threads.
Honestly, I'm after others thoughts. That is all. "
my thoughts?
ur tits are HOT!  |
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"I'm absolutely not coercing or persuading him in any way. We've shared opinions on this, that is all.
I'm just really interested in other peoples opinions as it's not something that can be openly discussed with family or friends!
Sometimes knowing what 'strangers' on the net think is helpful.
I've hardly posted on the forums, mainly because I've seen others get totally slated on some threads.
Honestly, I'm after others thoughts. That is all. "
on what though..
adultery or your situation..?
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"I'm absolutely not coercing or persuading him in any way. We've shared opinions on this, that is all.
I'm just really interested in other peoples opinions as it's not something that can be openly discussed with family or friends!
Sometimes knowing what 'strangers' on the net think is helpful.
I've hardly posted on the forums, mainly because I've seen others get totally slated on some threads.
Honestly, I'm after others thoughts. That is all. "
And my honest thoughts are what you got. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Not my situation. I want to work that one out, or we will work it out together.
I was wondering about adultery as in my first post.
Opinions quite often help meto work things out in my head! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not my situation. I want to work that one out, or we will work it out together.
I was wondering about adultery as in my first post.
Opinions quite often help meto work things out in my head!"
Try swinging with him and you should be able to come to your own conclusion however what you seem to be doing at the moment certainly falls into the Adultery category IMHO |
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as a Cpl who participate in this aspect we don't view what we do as 'adultery'..
regardless of whether that's the definition as written by whomever..
if one of us were to cheat then that would be adultery.. |
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Adultery is having sex with someone other than your spouse.
All of us who are married and swinging are commuting adultery by definition. For me the problem would arise when either of us did it behind the others back. |
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"Adultery is having sex with someone other than your spouse.
All of us who are married and swinging are commuting adultery by definition. For me the problem would arise when either of us did it behind the others back."
clearly it was defined by someone who didn't swing then..
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We are not married yet, but as good as.
We don't see it as adultery when we meet others and play, as we are both doing it together!
Adultery in our minds is when someone has sex with someone else behind their partners back, without their consent or knowledge.
If one of became uncomfortable with the swinging then we would both stop. |
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"Adultery is having sex with someone other than your spouse.
All of us who are married and swinging are commuting adultery by definition. For me the problem would arise when either of us did it behind the others back.
clearly it was defined by someone who didn't swing then..
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Swinging is not Adultery, at best it can be considered as non monogamy but having read quite a few descriptions this evening, how sad am I, the general consensus is that swinging is not Adultery |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can't help but feel once again, that this thread would have taken quite a different turn if the profile of the op belonged to a man."
Absfeckinlutely |
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"I often take my cues for living from a book written about a magic man in the sky 2000 years ago.
I wonder what the OP thinks about sex outside of marriage which according to the source material she is referencing just as much of a "sin".
"
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"Not my situation. I want to work that one out, or we will work it out together.
I was wondering about adultery as in my first post.
Opinions quite often help meto work things out in my head!"
Does your husband who is in favour of the "old fashioned" view of marriage think your profile fits with that? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is a really interesting thread and something we have discussed at length. There are a couple of definitions of adultery but the main two are.
Extramarital sex. The way we look at this is if we are all in the same room how can it be extramarital , we are observing and taking part in all the sex that is happening.
The second definition is extramarital sex that wilfully and maliciously interferes with marriage relations. If we are all consensual then it doesn't interfere at all. So no I don't think we are commuting adultery. |
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"Not my situation. I want to work that one out, or we will work it out together.
I was wondering about adultery as in my first post.
Opinions quite often help meto work things out in my head!"
you should never die wishing why didn't I try that? I have no knowledge of your sexual / relationship history so I'm limited in the comments I can make. However if you want to try something and your partner / husband doesn't, I don't think you should limit yourself. I have a profile that some have said is amazingly honest and open, I would hope it is. It's a lot easier living with yourself than others images of yourself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ok as a married person for 23 years adultry is having sex with another person other than your husband or wife no question, swinging is both of you consenting to the other having sex with someone else which is still adultery but with consent |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can't help but feel once again, that this thread would have taken quite a different turn if the profile of the op belonged to a man."
I was just thinking that.
OP I think in broad terms if your husband doesn't know you are on here and having meets then it is adultry. If he does know you are on here then it's an open relationship.
Not sure how discussing whether couples are committing adultry is relevant to your situation? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Not sure how discussing whether couples are committing adultry is relevant to your situation? "
I am pretty certain that it was nothing more than a conscience easing exercise, an attemp to shine a softer light on her own adultery but suggesting the rest of us are as guilty  |
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