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FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Cant Accommodate

Cant Accommodate

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Why is it that it is automatically assumed that singe guys that don't (not can't) accommodate are attached or married? Like everything on here people have a preference with very good reasons for it.

I got an insulting email about this very issue and I needed to rant!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It's an automatic assumption im afraid to say. Unless you put a specific reason as to why.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"It's an automatic assumption im afraid to say. Unless you put a specific reason as to why."

but its the wrong assumption and I dont need to justify my reasons just to get a meet. I just find it very judgemental

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman  over a year ago

evesham

Welcome to Fab lol where men who can't accommodate are cheating barstards and women who can't accommodate are poor put upon single parents.

You are right. It's wrong and judgemental.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Welcome to Fab lol where men who can't accommodate are cheating barstards and women who can't accommodate are poor put upon single parents.

You are right. It's wrong and judgemental. "

Haha love it, incredible the difference really.. but as i say F*** em, i dont need to justify my reasons x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I can't accom because I have children I know there are lots of reasons why people can't accom I don't assume because they fact that they are married .good luck

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It's an automatic assumption im afraid to say. Unless you put a specific reason as to why.

but its the wrong assumption and I dont need to justify my reasons just to get a meet. I just find it very judgemental"

I don't assume they are married but will ask why someone cant accomodate, 99% answers are married or in relationships, with very very few stating other reasons such as house share, prefer not to have strangers in house etc, so can see why many junp to the conclussion

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By *.nottsbloke..Man  over a year ago

the vale

In the current economic slump noone would ever share there house to make ends meet

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It's an automatic assumption im afraid to say. Unless you put a specific reason as to why.

but its the wrong assumption and I dont need to justify my reasons just to get a meet. I just find it very judgemental"

Yes your right, it is the wrong assumption and you dont need to justify your reasons. Unfortunately, there is a very large population of women on the site who will not trust a man over a certain age who does not accommodate because they think he is playing away without permission.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"In the current economic slump noone would ever share there house to make ends meet "

Got to love the sarcasm!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"It's an automatic assumption im afraid to say. Unless you put a specific reason as to why.

but its the wrong assumption and I dont need to justify my reasons just to get a meet. I just find it very judgemental

Yes your right, it is the wrong assumption and you dont need to justify your reasons. Unfortunately, there is a very large population of women on the site who will not trust a man over a certain age who does not accommodate because they think he is playing away without permission."

Because heaven forbid guys over a certain age might be single parents themselves

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It's an automatic assumption im afraid to say. Unless you put a specific reason as to why.

but its the wrong assumption and I dont need to justify my reasons just to get a meet. I just find it very judgemental

Yes your right, it is the wrong assumption and you dont need to justify your reasons. Unfortunately, there is a very large population of women on the site who will not trust a man over a certain age who does not accommodate because they think he is playing away without permission.

Because heaven forbid guys over a certain age might be single parents themselves"

I personally don't accomodate because I don't want guys I don''t know in my house where personal effects such as pictures of my daughter are on walls, but I have no problem telling people reason why if they ask.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"It's an automatic assumption im afraid to say. Unless you put a specific reason as to why.

but its the wrong assumption and I dont need to justify my reasons just to get a meet. I just find it very judgemental

Yes your right, it is the wrong assumption and you dont need to justify your reasons. Unfortunately, there is a very large population of women on the site who will not trust a man over a certain age who does not accommodate because they think he is playing away without permission.

Because heaven forbid guys over a certain age might be single parents themselves

I personally don't accomodate because I don't want guys I don''t know in my house where personal effects such as pictures of my daughter are on walls, but I have no problem telling people reason why if they ask."

exactly the same reasons.. but i will happily answer them if they ask but most just make an assumption, they get blocked so neither of us bother each other again

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It's an automatic assumption im afraid to say. Unless you put a specific reason as to why.

but its the wrong assumption and I dont need to justify my reasons just to get a meet. I just find it very judgemental

Yes your right, it is the wrong assumption and you dont need to justify your reasons. Unfortunately, there is a very large population of women on the site who will not trust a man over a certain age who does not accommodate because they think he is playing away without permission.

Because heaven forbid guys over a certain age might be single parents themselves

I personally don't accomodate because I don't want guys I don''t know in my house where personal effects such as pictures of my daughter are on walls, but I have no problem telling people reason why if they ask.

exactly the same reasons.. but i will happily answer them if they ask but most just make an assumption, they get blocked so neither of us bother each other again"

And that's the best way. Like I mentioned I don't accom, and men assume I'm married, so not just women making assumptions. If guy doesn't like fact I don't accom, he can do one as far as I am concerned, as plenty out their that aren't judgemental, and accept reasons given.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"It's an automatic assumption im afraid to say. Unless you put a specific reason as to why.

but its the wrong assumption and I dont need to justify my reasons just to get a meet. I just find it very judgemental

Yes your right, it is the wrong assumption and you dont need to justify your reasons. Unfortunately, there is a very large population of women on the site who will not trust a man over a certain age who does not accommodate because they think he is playing away without permission.

Because heaven forbid guys over a certain age might be single parents themselves

I personally don't accomodate because I don't want guys I don''t know in my house where personal effects such as pictures of my daughter are on walls, but I have no problem telling people reason why if they ask.

exactly the same reasons.. but i will happily answer them if they ask but most just make an assumption, they get blocked so neither of us bother each other again

And that's the best way. Like I mentioned I don't accom, and men assume I'm married, so not just women making assumptions. If guy doesn't like fact I don't accom, he can do one as far as I am concerned, as plenty out their that aren't judgemental, and accept reasons given."

I just find it crazy that on a site like this there really are some seriously narrow minded individuals.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

well, im sorry, but for us it is the first indicator of a married/cheating PERSON (not man, or woman, as we dont differenciate and we dont play with either that has a partner unaware)

not only that, but even if those that we were conversing with said they just dont want strangers in their house, then why should we invite those strangers into our house?

do they deem their marital home more worthy than others?

absolutely agree, having kids at home is a very valid reason for not accommodating, but its not our fault you have kids, like its not your fault there are so many lying fekkers that mean people have to use their own set of preferences to avoid people they would rather not meet.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It's an automatic assumption im afraid to say. Unless you put a specific reason as to why.

but its the wrong assumption and I dont need to justify my reasons just to get a meet. I just find it very judgemental

Yes your right, it is the wrong assumption and you dont need to justify your reasons. Unfortunately, there is a very large population of women on the site who will not trust a man over a certain age who does not accommodate because they think he is playing away without permission.

Because heaven forbid guys over a certain age might be single parents themselves

I personally don't accomodate because I don't want guys I don''t know in my house where personal effects such as pictures of my daughter are on walls, but I have no problem telling people reason why if they ask.

exactly the same reasons.. but i will happily answer them if they ask but most just make an assumption, they get blocked so neither of us bother each other again

And that's the best way. Like I mentioned I don't accom, and men assume I'm married, so not just women making assumptions. If guy doesn't like fact I don't accom, he can do one as far as I am concerned, as plenty out their that aren't judgemental, and accept reasons given.

I just find it crazy that on a site like this there really are some seriously narrow minded individuals."

Not just on this site though, their are narrow minded people where ever you go in life now adays

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"It's an automatic assumption im afraid to say. Unless you put a specific reason as to why.

but its the wrong assumption and I dont need to justify my reasons just to get a meet. I just find it very judgemental

Yes your right, it is the wrong assumption and you dont need to justify your reasons. Unfortunately, there is a very large population of women on the site who will not trust a man over a certain age who does not accommodate because they think he is playing away without permission.

Because heaven forbid guys over a certain age might be single parents themselves

I personally don't accomodate because I don't want guys I don''t know in my house where personal effects such as pictures of my daughter are on walls, but I have no problem telling people reason why if they ask.

exactly the same reasons.. but i will happily answer them if they ask but most just make an assumption, they get blocked so neither of us bother each other again

And that's the best way. Like I mentioned I don't accom, and men assume I'm married, so not just women making assumptions. If guy doesn't like fact I don't accom, he can do one as far as I am concerned, as plenty out their that aren't judgemental, and accept reasons given.

I just find it crazy that on a site like this there really are some seriously narrow minded individuals.

Not just on this site though, their are narrow minded people where ever you go in life now adays"

Again very true.. I just meant this is supposed to be a site for liberal open minded fun people.. but hey i think it's losing its way a bit anyway

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"well, im sorry, but for us it is the first indicator of a married/cheating PERSON (not man, or woman, as we dont differenciate and we dont play with either that has a partner unaware)

not only that, but even if those that we were conversing with said they just dont want strangers in their house, then why should we invite those strangers into our house?

do they deem their marital home more worthy than others?

absolutely agree, having kids at home is a very valid reason for not accommodating, but its not our fault you have kids, like its not your fault there are so many lying fekkers that mean people have to use their own set of preferences to avoid people they would rather not meet."

I won't have people in my house, and do not expect to go to their house either, that's why I meet in clubs or hotels with them. I too won't meet anyone cheating behind partners back which is why I ask why they can not accom

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"well, im sorry, but for us it is the first indicator of a married/cheating PERSON (not man, or woman, as we dont differenciate and we dont play with either that has a partner unaware)

not only that, but even if those that we were conversing with said they just dont want strangers in their house, then why should we invite those strangers into our house?

do they deem their marital home more worthy than others?

absolutely agree, having kids at home is a very valid reason for not accommodating, but its not our fault you have kids, like its not your fault there are so many lying fekkers that mean people have to use their own set of preferences to avoid people they would rather not meet."

And everyone is entitled to their opinion, what annoys me is when they instantly throw their assumption at you. Not accommodating does not necessarily mean cheating (albeit i'm sure a lot of cases it does)

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It's an automatic assumption im afraid to say. Unless you put a specific reason as to why.

but its the wrong assumption and I dont need to justify my reasons just to get a meet. I just find it very judgemental

Yes your right, it is the wrong assumption and you dont need to justify your reasons. Unfortunately, there is a very large population of women on the site who will not trust a man over a certain age who does not accommodate because they think he is playing away without permission.

Because heaven forbid guys over a certain age might be single parents themselves

I personally don't accomodate because I don't want guys I don''t know in my house where personal effects such as pictures of my daughter are on walls, but I have no problem telling people reason why if they ask.

exactly the same reasons.. but i will happily answer them if they ask but most just make an assumption, they get blocked so neither of us bother each other again

And that's the best way. Like I mentioned I don't accom, and men assume I'm married, so not just women making assumptions. If guy doesn't like fact I don't accom, he can do one as far as I am concerned, as plenty out their that aren't judgemental, and accept reasons given.

I just find it crazy that on a site like this there really are some seriously narrow minded individuals.

Not just on this site though, their are narrow minded people where ever you go in life now adays

Again very true.. I just meant this is supposed to be a site for liberal open minded fun people.. but hey i think it's losing its way a bit anyway "

how do you come to the assumption that people who wont meet you because you cant accommodate are narrow minded?

as i said, everyone has their own set of checks which means they avoid timewasters/cheats/liars/wierdos/psychos, all of which can be found in the deep dark recesses of this site.

do you have no checks you do in order to meet a person you would be most compatible with?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

dude, meaning no offence, but the kids at home line can be used by anyone.

then further through a conversation they forget they have kids and its because they share a house with mates or something.

you may well be honest, and its a good trait, but others that arent so ruin it for those that are

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"It's an automatic assumption im afraid to say. Unless you put a specific reason as to why.

but its the wrong assumption and I dont need to justify my reasons just to get a meet. I just find it very judgemental

Yes your right, it is the wrong assumption and you dont need to justify your reasons. Unfortunately, there is a very large population of women on the site who will not trust a man over a certain age who does not accommodate because they think he is playing away without permission.

Because heaven forbid guys over a certain age might be single parents themselves

I personally don't accomodate because I don't want guys I don''t know in my house where personal effects such as pictures of my daughter are on walls, but I have no problem telling people reason why if they ask.

exactly the same reasons.. but i will happily answer them if they ask but most just make an assumption, they get blocked so neither of us bother each other again

And that's the best way. Like I mentioned I don't accom, and men assume I'm married, so not just women making assumptions. If guy doesn't like fact I don't accom, he can do one as far as I am concerned, as plenty out their that aren't judgemental, and accept reasons given.

I just find it crazy that on a site like this there really are some seriously narrow minded individuals.

Not just on this site though, their are narrow minded people where ever you go in life now adays

Again very true.. I just meant this is supposed to be a site for liberal open minded fun people.. but hey i think it's losing its way a bit anyway

how do you come to the assumption that people who wont meet you because you cant accommodate are narrow minded?

as i said, everyone has their own set of checks which means they avoid timewasters/cheats/liars/wierdos/psychos, all of which can be found in the deep dark recesses of this site.

do you have no checks you do in order to meet a person you would be most compatible with?"

No i don't mean those that wont meet because i cant accom (as well as a host of other reasons) i mean those that instantly assume im cheating are narrow minded.

And yes i have pretty rigorous checks lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"dude, meaning no offence, but the kids at home line can be used by anyone.

then further through a conversation they forget they have kids and its because they share a house with mates or something.

you may well be honest, and its a good trait, but others that arent so ruin it for those that are"

I dont think i'm going to forget i have a child anytime soon

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"In the current economic slump noone would ever share there house to make ends meet "

That's a very generalistic statement, why would you think that as I would if I could find someone trustworthy to pay the rent and lots do house share

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"In the current economic slump noone would ever share there house to make ends meet

That's a very generalistic statement, why would you think that as I would if I could find someone trustworthy to pay the rent and lots do house share"

i think he is being sarcastic

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple  over a year ago

bedford

It's not that we can't .it's that we won't accom .wife prefers to keep our swinging life totally separate as we have teenagers living at home .so we only swing at clubs or party's .on occasions when we do play solo( no often and both with permission) we may make other arrangements:-/

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I have found that 99.9% of men who contact me and cant accomadate are actually married or live with a long term partner !

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"It's not that we can't .it's that we won't accom .wife prefers to keep our swinging life totally separate as we have teenagers living at home .so we only swing at clubs or party's .on occasions when we do play solo( no often and both with permission) we may make other arrangements:-/"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It is unfo

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I wouldn't take can't accommodate in isolation to mean cheating. But when a profile shares that with no face pictures, or a desire for daytime meets or the overuse of the word discreet then it does start to paint a picture.

And unfortunately there are so many single man on here who are playing away and for whom can't accommodateIis a recurring theme thentthis is one of the few things where "they ruin it for the good guys" does have an element of truth

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I wouldn't take can't accommodate in isolation to mean cheating. But when a profile shares that with no face pictures, or a desire for daytime meets or the overuse of the word discreet then it does start to paint a picture.

And unfortunately there are so many single man on here who are playing away and for whom can't accommodateIis a recurring theme thentthis is one of the few things where "they ruin it for the good guys" does have an element of truth"

Don't get me wrong guys, it clearly does happen. And that is there prerogative. My complaint is the assumption that all us single guys must be cheating if we choose not to accommodate.

Like you say weigh it up with verifications face pics and availability and the picture should change.

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By *yrdwomanWoman  over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Doesn't matter if they are married or not. They still can't accommodate, and that will cut down on their 'meetability'.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Why is it that it is automatically assumed that singe guys that don't (not can't) accommodate are attached or married? Like everything on here people have a preference with very good reasons for it.

I got an insulting email about this very issue and I needed to rant!"

Was the actual email insulting or are you just affronted that people make this conclusion ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Why is it that it is automatically assumed that singe guys that don't (not can't) accommodate are attached or married? Like everything on here people have a preference with very good reasons for it.

I got an insulting email about this very issue and I needed to rant!

Was the actual email insulting or are you just affronted that people make this conclusion ?"

it was insulting lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I don't assume that people who can't accomodate are cheating.

I won't accomodate and I won't explain why either. If someone gets annoyed that I won't explain, I wish them luck and stop chatting. No hard feelings.

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By *issBehavingxxWoman  over a year ago

Glasgow

I won't meet people who can't (or won't) accommodate. I dislike meeting in hotels and I won't have someone in my home who can't (or won't have me in theirs.

I make no assumptions to why they can't (or won't) accommodate but simply choose not to meet them

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By *iewMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn


"I won't meet people who can't (or won't) accommodate. I dislike meeting in hotels and I won't have someone in my home who can't (or won't have me in theirs.

I make no assumptions to why they can't (or won't) accommodate but simply choose not to meet them"

love it

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I try not to assume anything, I will ask why they can't accommodate and see the reaction but now find most men are honest about their situation with me

I can't accommodate as I houseshare, so it's more of a 'Won't' than can't, I respect my housemates and their safety as well as mine. There is one man I accommodate for and that's it.

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By *empting Devil.Woman  over a year ago

Sheffield


"well, im sorry, but for us it is the first indicator of a married/cheating PERSON (not man, or woman, as we dont differenciate and we dont play with either that has a partner unaware)

not only that, but even if those that we were conversing with said they just dont want strangers in their house, then why should we invite those strangers into our house?

do they deem their marital home more worthy than others?

absolutely agree, having kids at home is a very valid reason for not accommodating, but its not our fault you have kids, like its not your fault there are so many lying fekkers that mean people have to use their own set of preferences to avoid people they would rather not meet."

I don't accommodate for safety reasons, but for the same reasons I won't go to someone else's home for the first meet either.

I don't have a problem with men who d

don't accommodate except for the ones who really don't want to meet in a public place for coffee and keep trying to persuade me to have them at mine instead - that paranoia is a clear indicator of guilt to me!

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"well, im sorry, but for us it is the first indicator of a married/cheating PERSON (not man, or woman, as we dont differenciate and we dont play with either that has a partner unaware)

not only that, but even if those that we were conversing with said they just dont want strangers in their house, then why should we invite those strangers into our house?

do they deem their marital home more worthy than others?

absolutely agree, having kids at home is a very valid reason for not accommodating, but its not our fault you have kids, like its not your fault there are so many lying fekkers that mean people have to use their own set of preferences to avoid people they would rather not meet.

I don't accommodate for safety reasons, but for the same reasons I won't go to someone else's home for the first meet either.

I don't have a problem with men who d

don't accommodate except for the ones who really don't want to meet in a public place for coffee and keep trying to persuade me to have them at mine instead - that paranoia is a clear indicator of guilt to me! "

Thats a really interesting point.personally i prefer a social meet over a coffee or a drink and see that the spark is there no pressure

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Doesn't matter if they are married or not. They still can't accommodate, and that will cut down on their 'meetability'."

When I was single there wrre a few times I found myself sharing and meets pretty much stopped. Living alone made meets as a single man so much easier

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Well I don't understand why you woman would have been insulting to you OP

Unless !

She had it clearly put on her profile that she doesn't meet people who can't accommodate. Because it does get annoying being bombarded by messages from people when you have clearly put a preference on your profile. We get this from "straight" guys.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Well I don't understand why you woman would have been insulting to you OP

Unless !

She had it clearly put on her profile that she doesn't meet people who can't accommodate. Because it does get annoying being bombarded by messages from people when you have clearly put a preference on your profile. We get this from "straight" guys. "

NO she didn't and it was a first message from her, she just laid into me

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By *ee VianteWoman  over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

I can't understand why single people who can't accommodate can't simply state they are single in their profile.

I realise that being unable to accommodate does not necessarily mean cheating. However, in my experience, in a high proportion of cases that's what it does mean.

If a profile doesn't state single or say the reason they can't accommodate is not that they are attached, I'm always going to be cautious, (not that I am not cautious anyway). If the profile actually states they're single then I accept there's another reason, unless other behaviour give me reason to doubt what they say.

I'll ask if the 'can't accommodate' means attached if the profile doesn't say, but I recognise that the answer I get may not be truthful.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Yes people do make assumptions all the time and all of us have some kind of assumption thrown at us. I have the 'you don't have pics of your man so he must be ugly ' assumption.

People do seem to expect certain things. It is just a swinging site, you personally set your own rules. There is noone on this site that brilliant that you have to go against what you want to please them.

People will come out with an excuse if you deny them what they deem 'their right'. It will always be your fault of course, always something wrong with you, ie you must be married.

Just ignore their messages if they come out with these assumptions, it's not really worthy of your time to answer, you aren't going to accommodate, that's all that needs to be said

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Why is it that it is automatically assumed that singe guys that don't (not can't) accommodate are attached or married? Like everything on here people have a preference with very good reasons for it.

I got an insulting email about this very issue and I needed to rant!"

Men make the same assumption about older women. I've been asked many times, why don't you accommodate,are you married?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Well I don't understand why you woman would have been insulting to you OP

Unless !

She had it clearly put on her profile that she doesn't meet people who can't accommodate. Because it does get annoying being bombarded by messages from people when you have clearly put a preference on your profile. We get this from "straight" guys.

NO she didn't and it was a first message from her, she just laid into me"

So you hadn't contacted her at all. She contacted you and in her first message bollocked you for not accommodating and accused you of being a lying cheating no damn good scumbag liar

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Well I don't understand why you woman would have been insulting to you OP

Unless !

She had it clearly put on her profile that she doesn't meet people who can't accommodate. Because it does get annoying being bombarded by messages from people when you have clearly put a preference on your profile. We get this from "straight" guys.

NO she didn't and it was a first message from her, she just laid into me

So you hadn't contacted her at all. She contacted you and in her first message bollocked you for not accommodating and accused you of being a lying cheating no damn good scumbag liar "

yep pretty much

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Well I don't understand why you woman would have been insulting to you OP

Unless !

She had it clearly put on her profile that she doesn't meet people who can't accommodate. Because it does get annoying being bombarded by messages from people when you have clearly put a preference on your profile. We get this from "straight" guys.

NO she didn't and it was a first message from her, she just laid into me

So you hadn't contacted her at all. She contacted you and in her first message bollocked you for not accommodating and accused you of being a lying cheating no damn good scumbag liar

yep pretty much"

Well she's got a job and a half on her hands if she's policing the site like that lol. Good luck to her

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By *utterflywingsWoman  over a year ago

Creswell Derbyshire


"Why is it that it is automatically assumed that singe guys that don't (not can't) accommodate are attached or married? Like everything on here people have a preference with very good reasons for it.

I got an insulting email about this very issue and I needed to rant!"

I get similar mail because i will not travel, this is my choice for my reasons and if guys wont travel to meet me then they get blocked

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Well I don't understand why you woman would have been insulting to you OP

Unless !

She had it clearly put on her profile that she doesn't meet people who can't accommodate. Because it does get annoying being bombarded by messages from people when you have clearly put a preference on your profile. We get this from "straight" guys.

NO she didn't and it was a first message from her, she just laid into me

So you hadn't contacted her at all. She contacted you and in her first message bollocked you for not accommodating and accused you of being a lying cheating no damn good scumbag liar

yep pretty much

Well she's got a job and a half on her hands if she's policing the site like that lol. Good luck to her "

I must have offended her in a previous life x

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By *nnyMan  over a year ago

Glasgow

I'd have thought, given the imbalance between men and women on Fab, the easiest thing would be for each lady to compile a personal list of 'musts' and discard/ block anyone who doesn't meet every one of them.

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By *wingerdelightCouple  over a year ago

eastliegh


"well, im sorry, but for us it is the first indicator of a married/cheating PERSON (not man, or woman, as we dont differenciate and we dont play with either that has a partner unaware)

not only that, but even if those that we were conversing with said they just dont want strangers in their house, then why should we invite those strangers into our house?

do they deem their marital home more worthy than others?

absolutely agree, having kids at home is a very valid reason for not accommodating, but its not our fault you have kids, like its not your fault there are so many lying fekkers that mean people have to use their own set of preferences to avoid people they would rather not meet."

this isour _iew aswell, anyway if people cant meet then there are plenty out there who can, so move along.

Like all things,people are alowed to have a preferance, why worry about it

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Well I don't understand why you woman would have been insulting to you OP

Unless !

She had it clearly put on her profile that she doesn't meet people who can't accommodate. Because it does get annoying being bombarded by messages from people when you have clearly put a preference on your profile. We get this from "straight" guys.

NO she didn't and it was a first message from her, she just laid into me

So you hadn't contacted her at all. She contacted you and in her first message bollocked you for not accommodating and accused you of being a lying cheating no damn good scumbag liar

yep pretty much

Well she's got a job and a half on her hands if she's policing the site like that lol. Good luck to her "

I met someone who had this experience. Perhaps it's the same woman

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I can't /won't accommodate (states in profile why). I won't meet a guy at his for first meet for safety reasons.

However I'll still ask why a man "cannot" accommodate. Some are attached, some house share, some have children.

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By *teveanddebsCouple  over a year ago

Norwich

OP just imagine you are a couple or a woman that doesn't want to meet married men that are playing away. There are probably thousands on here that meet your other requirements, how are you going to whittle that number down to reasonable figures? One way might be to discount men that can't accommodate which will get rid of most, if not all, of the people you don't want to meet. Of course you might discount the odd few that have genuine reasons but does it really matter? You may think it unfair but blame the guys that lie on their profile, not the people that have to find a way to deal with those lies.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I think the OP was a bit taken aback by this woman because she approached him - just to have a go at him for being a single male not accommodating. He hadn't contacted her before that.

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By *teveanddebsCouple  over a year ago

Norwich

Ooops I mean't to mention that.

OP just deal with it as you would any unsolicited message, just block and move on

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Yes people do make assumptions all the time and all of us have some kind of assumption thrown at us. I have the 'you don't have pics of your man so he must be ugly ' assumption.

People do seem to expect certain things. It is just a swinging site, you personally set your own rules. There is noone on this site that brilliant that you have to go against what you want to please them.

People will come out with an excuse if you deny them what they deem 'their right'. It will always be your fault of course, always something wrong with you, ie you must be married.

Just ignore their messages if they come out with these assumptions, it's not really worthy of your time to answer, you aren't going to accommodate, that's all that needs to be said "

This!

We don't often accommodate and if people don't like it, it's tough tits to them

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Yes people do make assumptions all the time and all of us have some kind of assumption thrown at us. I have the 'you don't have pics of your man so he must be ugly ' assumption.

People do seem to expect certain things. It is just a swinging site, you personally set your own rules. There is noone on this site that brilliant that you have to go against what you want to please them.

People will come out with an excuse if you deny them what they deem 'their right'. It will always be your fault of course, always something wrong with you, ie you must be married.

Just ignore their messages if they come out with these assumptions, it's not really worthy of your time to answer, you aren't going to accommodate, that's all that needs to be said

This!

We don't often accommodate and if people don't like it, it's tough tits to them "

Charming I've been waiting years for an invite round as we're only just down the road, but if that's your attitude

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Typing a few lines on your profile why you can not accommodate will do you no harm.No point in fretting why you getting blocked lifes to short.Profiles should be honest (sadly a few are not)If you don't wanna say why you carnt well that's your problem your chances of meeting some one will scale down a lot..Man up and stick sumit on your profile

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I don't accommodate as I'm terrible at matching my soft furnishings and I would be destroyed if someone came to mine and said something derogatory about my cushions not matching my sofa!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Yes people do make assumptions all the time and all of us have some kind of assumption thrown at us. I have the 'you don't have pics of your man so he must be ugly ' assumption.

People do seem to expect certain things. It is just a swinging site, you personally set your own rules. There is noone on this site that brilliant that you have to go against what you want to please them.

People will come out with an excuse if you deny them what they deem 'their right'. It will always be your fault of course, always something wrong with you, ie you must be married.

Just ignore their messages if they come out with these assumptions, it's not really worthy of your time to answer, you aren't going to accommodate, that's all that needs to be said

This!

We don't often accommodate and if people don't like it, it's tough tits to them

Charming I've been waiting years for an invite round as we're only just down the road, but if that's your attitude "

Aww I said don't often, there are always exceptions to the rules

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Why is it that it is automatically assumed that singe guys that don't (not can't) accommodate are attached or married? Like everything on here people have a preference with very good reasons for it.

I got an insulting email about this very issue and I needed to rant!"

Why carnt you accommodate then

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Why is it that it is automatically assumed that singe guys that don't (not can't) accommodate are attached or married? Like everything on here people have a preference with very good reasons for it.

I got an insulting email about this very issue and I needed to rant!

Why carnt you accommodate then "

Lol OP what you hiding eh??

Have you got issues like Warsguy? - very funny post by the way

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

If everyone posted something everytime they received a random insulting message I think the site would crash ! If you post a rant it just makes it seem like they've hit a raw nerve to me. Not aimed at the OP btw.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I don't know - it's nice to hear what other people experience on here and share some of our own.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Said this before but having played with FB's once and realised the hurt we were causing to 2 innocent unknowing victims we vowed never knowingly to do it again.

We use the yard stick that not being able to accom probably equates to cheating.

We know there are some genuine reasons for not being able to accom but we are also old enough and daft enough to know people lie.

Not very scientific we know but it works for us

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Yes people do make assumptions all the time and all of us have some kind of assumption thrown at us. I have the 'you don't have pics of your man so he must be ugly ' assumption.

People do seem to expect certain things. It is just a swinging site, you personally set your own rules. There is noone on this site that brilliant that you have to go against what you want to please them.

People will come out with an excuse if you deny them what they deem 'their right'. It will always be your fault of course, always something wrong with you, ie you must be married.

Just ignore their messages if they come out with these assumptions, it's not really worthy of your time to answer, you aren't going to accommodate, that's all that needs to be said

This!

We don't often accommodate and if people don't like it, it's tough tits to them "

i now have an image of you with flick knives sticking out of your bra (tough tits) lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I can accommodate, and have. Apart from fridays when i have my kids staying over. And was told i'm a cheater because i wouldn't accom a lass when she asked to meet on a friday evening, lol.

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By *ustcutieWoman  over a year ago

edinburgh


"I can accommodate, and have. Apart from fridays when i have my kids staying over. And was told i'm a cheater because i wouldn't accom a lass when she asked to meet on a friday evening, lol."

Well I'm fed up of stalking you now

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Yes people do make assumptions all the time and all of us have some kind of assumption thrown at us. I have the 'you don't have pics of your man so he must be ugly ' assumption.

People do seem to expect certain things. It is just a swinging site, you personally set your own rules. There is noone on this site that brilliant that you have to go against what you want to please them.

People will come out with an excuse if you deny them what they deem 'their right'. It will always be your fault of course, always something wrong with you, ie you must be married.

Just ignore their messages if they come out with these assumptions, it's not really worthy of your time to answer, you aren't going to accommodate, that's all that needs to be said

This!

We don't often accommodate and if people don't like it, it's tough tits to them

i now have an image of you with flick knives sticking out of your bra (tough tits) lol"

Come into my lair

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I can accommodate, and have. Apart from fridays when i have my kids staying over. And was told i'm a cheater because i wouldn't accom a lass when she asked to meet on a friday evening, lol."

I prefer a Friday to a Saturday! It's all about preferences

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I can accommodate, and have. Apart from fridays when i have my kids staying over. And was told i'm a cheater because i wouldn't accom a lass when she asked to meet on a friday evening, lol.

Well I'm fed up of stalking you now "

Lol.

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By *eddonistikMan  over a year ago

Manchester


"Typing a few lines on your profile why you can not accommodate will do you no harm.No point in fretting why you getting blocked lifes to short.Profiles should be honest (sadly a few are not)If you don't wanna say why you carnt well that's your problem your chances of meeting some one will scale down a lot..Man up and stick sumit on your profile "

Well said, someone who I exchanged with the other night mentioned how honest my profile was. Just be upfront about yourself, if you've got kids living with you mention it, people will understand. As for sharing your place with other people why should that stop you swinging? A few years ago I shared a large apartment with friends who were brother and sister they knew I was a swinger and had people round who were swingers, this was the time when I discovered I liked Tgirls as well as women and couples. The only difference from now was that I didn't host gang bangs then, people shagging on the lounge floor while my flat mates were trying to watch the telly would have been over stepping the mark.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Why is it that it is automatically assumed that singe guys that don't (not can't) accommodate are attached or married? Like everything on here people have a preference with very good reasons for it.

I got an insulting email about this very issue and I needed to rant!"

This place is assumption central I swear people join up just so they can make assumptions. Hmmm thats an oxymoron in itself as I have made one now.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Yes people do make assumptions all the time and all of us have some kind of assumption thrown at us. I have the 'you don't have pics of your man so he must be ugly ' assumption.

People do seem to expect certain things. It is just a swinging site, you personally set your own rules. There is noone on this site that brilliant that you have to go against what you want to please them.

People will come out with an excuse if you deny them what they deem 'their right'. It will always be your fault of course, always something wrong with you, ie you must be married.

Just ignore their messages if they come out with these assumptions, it's not really worthy of your time to answer, you aren't going to accommodate, that's all that needs to be said

This!

We don't often accommodate and if people don't like it, it's tough tits to them

i now have an image of you with flick knives sticking out of your bra (tough tits) lol

Come into my lair "

oh it wouldnt take being threatened by your tough tits lol (although you did say you dont accomodate often, so where is this lair exactly? lol)

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Yes people do make assumptions all the time and all of us have some kind of assumption thrown at us. I have the 'you don't have pics of your man so he must be ugly ' assumption.

People do seem to expect certain things. It is just a swinging site, you personally set your own rules. There is noone on this site that brilliant that you have to go against what you want to please them.

People will come out with an excuse if you deny them what they deem 'their right'. It will always be your fault of course, always something wrong with you, ie you must be married.

Just ignore their messages if they come out with these assumptions, it's not really worthy of your time to answer, you aren't going to accommodate, that's all that needs to be said

This!

We don't often accommodate and if people don't like it, it's tough tits to them

i now have an image of you with flick knives sticking out of your bra (tough tits) lol

Come into my lair

oh it wouldnt take being threatened by your tough tits lol (although you did say you dont accomodate often, so where is this lair exactly? lol)"

If I told you, I'd have to kill you afterwards

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Yes people do make assumptions all the time and all of us have some kind of assumption thrown at us. I have the 'you don't have pics of your man so he must be ugly ' assumption.

People do seem to expect certain things. It is just a swinging site, you personally set your own rules. There is noone on this site that brilliant that you have to go against what you want to please them.

People will come out with an excuse if you deny them what they deem 'their right'. It will always be your fault of course, always something wrong with you, ie you must be married.

Just ignore their messages if they come out with these assumptions, it's not really worthy of your time to answer, you aren't going to accommodate, that's all that needs to be said

This!

We don't often accommodate and if people don't like it, it's tough tits to them

i now have an image of you with flick knives sticking out of your bra (tough tits) lol

Come into my lair

oh it wouldnt take being threatened by your tough tits lol (although you did say you dont accomodate often, so where is this lair exactly? lol)

If I told you, I'd have to kill you afterwards "

thats the thing with you bloody women.

always a catch!!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Typing a few lines on your profile why you can not accommodate will do you no harm.No point in fretting why you getting blocked lifes to short.Profiles should be honest (sadly a few are not)If you don't wanna say why you carnt well that's your problem your chances of meeting some one will scale down a lot..Man up and stick sumit on your profile

Well said, someone who I exchanged with the other night mentioned how honest my profile was. Just be upfront about yourself, if you've got kids living with you mention it, people will understand. As for sharing your place with other people why should that stop you swinging? A few years ago I shared a large apartment with friends who were brother and sister they knew I was a swinger and had people round who were swingers, this was the time when I discovered I liked Tgirls as well as women and couples. The only difference from now was that I didn't host gang bangs then, people shagging on the lounge floor while my flat mates were trying to watch the telly would have been over stepping the mark. "

Some people prefer to be discreet. If they share a house they might not want other people knowing about their sex life and so wouldn't want to invite people back.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Yes people do make assumptions all the time and all of us have some kind of assumption thrown at us. I have the 'you don't have pics of your man so he must be ugly ' assumption.

People do seem to expect certain things. It is just a swinging site, you personally set your own rules. There is noone on this site that brilliant that you have to go against what you want to please them.

People will come out with an excuse if you deny them what they deem 'their right'. It will always be your fault of course, always something wrong with you, ie you must be married.

Just ignore their messages if they come out with these assumptions, it's not really worthy of your time to answer, you aren't going to accommodate, that's all that needs to be said

This!

We don't often accommodate and if people don't like it, it's tough tits to them

i now have an image of you with flick knives sticking out of your bra (tough tits) lol

Come into my lair

oh it wouldnt take being threatened by your tough tits lol (although you did say you dont accomodate often, so where is this lair exactly? lol)

If I told you, I'd have to kill you afterwards

thats the thing with you bloody women.

always a catch!!! "

Webs tend to do that!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Yes people do make assumptions all the time and all of us have some kind of assumption thrown at us. I have the 'you don't have pics of your man so he must be ugly ' assumption.

People do seem to expect certain things. It is just a swinging site, you personally set your own rules. There is noone on this site that brilliant that you have to go against what you want to please them.

People will come out with an excuse if you deny them what they deem 'their right'. It will always be your fault of course, always something wrong with you, ie you must be married.

Just ignore their messages if they come out with these assumptions, it's not really worthy of your time to answer, you aren't going to accommodate, that's all that needs to be said

This!

We don't often accommodate and if people don't like it, it's tough tits to them

i now have an image of you with flick knives sticking out of your bra (tough tits) lol

Come into my lair

oh it wouldnt take being threatened by your tough tits lol (although you did say you dont accomodate often, so where is this lair exactly? lol)

If I told you, I'd have to kill you afterwards

thats the thing with you bloody women.

always a catch!!!

Webs tend to do that! "

I'll give you webs

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Yes people do make assumptions all the time and all of us have some kind of assumption thrown at us. I have the 'you don't have pics of your man so he must be ugly ' assumption.

People do seem to expect certain things. It is just a swinging site, you personally set your own rules. There is noone on this site that brilliant that you have to go against what you want to please them.

People will come out with an excuse if you deny them what they deem 'their right'. It will always be your fault of course, always something wrong with you, ie you must be married.

Just ignore their messages if they come out with these assumptions, it's not really worthy of your time to answer, you aren't going to accommodate, that's all that needs to be said

This!

We don't often accommodate and if people don't like it, it's tough tits to them

i now have an image of you with flick knives sticking out of your bra (tough tits) lol

Come into my lair

oh it wouldnt take being threatened by your tough tits lol (although you did say you dont accomodate often, so where is this lair exactly? lol)

If I told you, I'd have to kill you afterwards

thats the thing with you bloody women.

always a catch!!! "

I am good at catching

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Everything in your profile is there for others to make a judgement on.

If they like it then they do, if they don't they don't.

You asking for PC correct attitudes from individuals is pointless. As individuals, people can think what and how the like.

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Yes people do make assumptions all the time and all of us have some kind of assumption thrown at us. I have the 'you don't have pics of your man so he must be ugly ' assumption.

People do seem to expect certain things. It is just a swinging site, you personally set your own rules. There is noone on this site that brilliant that you have to go against what you want to please them.

People will come out with an excuse if you deny them what they deem 'their right'. It will always be your fault of course, always something wrong with you, ie you must be married.

Just ignore their messages if they come out with these assumptions, it's not really worthy of your time to answer, you aren't going to accommodate, that's all that needs to be said

This!

We don't often accommodate and if people don't like it, it's tough tits to them

i now have an image of you with flick knives sticking out of your bra (tough tits) lol

Come into my lair

oh it wouldnt take being threatened by your tough tits lol (although you did say you dont accomodate often, so where is this lair exactly? lol)

If I told you, I'd have to kill you afterwards

thats the thing with you bloody women.

always a catch!!!

Webs tend to do that!

I'll give you webs "

Spiders? Arggggghhh give me a man

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Yes people do make assumptions all the time and all of us have some kind of assumption thrown at us. I have the 'you don't have pics of your man so he must be ugly ' assumption.

People do seem to expect certain things. It is just a swinging site, you personally set your own rules. There is noone on this site that brilliant that you have to go against what you want to please them.

People will come out with an excuse if you deny them what they deem 'their right'. It will always be your fault of course, always something wrong with you, ie you must be married.

Just ignore their messages if they come out with these assumptions, it's not really worthy of your time to answer, you aren't going to accommodate, that's all that needs to be said

This!

We don't often accommodate and if people don't like it, it's tough tits to them

i now have an image of you with flick knives sticking out of your bra (tough tits) lol

Come into my lair

oh it wouldnt take being threatened by your tough tits lol (although you did say you dont accomodate often, so where is this lair exactly? lol)

If I told you, I'd have to kill you afterwards

thats the thing with you bloody women.

always a catch!!!

Webs tend to do that!

I'll give you webs

Spiders? Arggggghhh give me a man "

You don't need a man for spiders! Tsk!

Stand behind me

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Yes people do make assumptions all the time and all of us have some kind of assumption thrown at us. I have the 'you don't have pics of your man so he must be ugly ' assumption.

People do seem to expect certain things. It is just a swinging site, you personally set your own rules. There is noone on this site that brilliant that you have to go against what you want to please them.

People will come out with an excuse if you deny them what they deem 'their right'. It will always be your fault of course, always something wrong with you, ie you must be married.

Just ignore their messages if they come out with these assumptions, it's not really worthy of your time to answer, you aren't going to accommodate, that's all that needs to be said

This!

We don't often accommodate and if people don't like it, it's tough tits to them

i now have an image of you with flick knives sticking out of your bra (tough tits) lol

Come into my lair

oh it wouldnt take being threatened by your tough tits lol (although you did say you dont accomodate often, so where is this lair exactly? lol)

If I told you, I'd have to kill you afterwards

thats the thing with you bloody women.

always a catch!!!

I am good at catching "

hope you have had your check ups then lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Yes people do make assumptions all the time and all of us have some kind of assumption thrown at us. I have the 'you don't have pics of your man so he must be ugly ' assumption.

People do seem to expect certain things. It is just a swinging site, you personally set your own rules. There is noone on this site that brilliant that you have to go against what you want to please them.

People will come out with an excuse if you deny them what they deem 'their right'. It will always be your fault of course, always something wrong with you, ie you must be married.

Just ignore their messages if they come out with these assumptions, it's not really worthy of your time to answer, you aren't going to accommodate, that's all that needs to be said

This!

We don't often accommodate and if people don't like it, it's tough tits to them

i now have an image of you with flick knives sticking out of your bra (tough tits) lol

Come into my lair

oh it wouldnt take being threatened by your tough tits lol (although you did say you dont accomodate often, so where is this lair exactly? lol)

If I told you, I'd have to kill you afterwards

thats the thing with you bloody women.

always a catch!!!

Webs tend to do that!

I'll give you webs

Spiders? Arggggghhh give me a man

You don't need a man for spiders! Tsk!

Stand behind me "

Ok... my heroine

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Typing a few lines on your profile why you can not accommodate will do you no harm.No point in fretting why you getting blocked lifes to short.Profiles should be honest (sadly a few are not)If you don't wanna say why you carnt well that's your problem your chances of meeting some one will scale down a lot..Man up and stick sumit on your profile

Well said, someone who I exchanged with the other night mentioned how honest my profile was. Just be upfront about yourself, if you've got kids living with you mention it, people will understand. As for sharing your place with other people why should that stop you swinging? A few years ago I shared a large apartment with friends who were brother and sister they knew I was a swinger and had people round who were swingers, this was the time when I discovered I liked Tgirls as well as women and couples. The only difference from now was that I didn't host gang bangs then, people shagging on the lounge floor while my flat mates were trying to watch the telly would have been over stepping the mark.

Some people prefer to be discreet. If they share a house they might not want other people knowing about their sex life and so wouldn't want to invite people back."

This ! (In my case!) Plus I'm hardly ever there anyway! Lol

OP (and everyone else in a similar situation!) - if you can't accom you have to face the fact that some will be suspicious and some won't want to meet you. That's life I'm afraid!

So you have to focus on what you can do - use hotels, go to clubs and engage with those that are happy to accommodate you. Like everything else it's down to preferences. And if the only reason someone is struggling to get interest or meets is their lack of ability to accommodate - then that's an issue for them to deal with - not those their looking to meet.

You play the hand your dealt with. And flexibility is the best solution!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I can't Accommodate as I live in a military establishment but still I have had couples and singles turn me down as they assume I am a cheater.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I can't Accommodate as I live in a military establishment but still I have had couples and singles turn me down as they assume I am a cheater. "

I don't believe you. Prove it, show me you live in military accommodation with lots of other fit beefy guys . Go on I dare you

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Wait till later I'll get you some pics!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Wait till later I'll get you some pics!"

Not good enough I have to see with my own eyes

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It's an automatic assumption im afraid to say. Unless you put a specific reason as to why.

but its the wrong assumption and I dont need to justify my reasons just to get a meet. I just find it very judgemental"

You're absolutely right mate

People who judge are the ones who hate being judged themselves

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Wait till later I'll get you some pics!

Not good enough I have to see with my own eyes "

I think we all need to see!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It's an automatic assumption im afraid to say. Unless you put a specific reason as to why.

but its the wrong assumption and I dont need to justify my reasons just to get a meet. I just find it very judgemental

You're absolutely right mate

People who judge are the ones who hate being judged themselves "

But what about those who judge those who judge, are they just as judgmental

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By *orthyorkypairCouple  over a year ago

North Yorkshire


"It's an automatic assumption im afraid to say. Unless you put a specific reason as to why.

but its the wrong assumption and I dont need to justify my reasons just to get a meet. I just find it very judgemental

Yes your right, it is the wrong assumption and you dont need to justify your reasons. Unfortunately, there is a very large population of women on the site who will not trust a man over a certain age who does not accommodate because they think he is playing away without permission."

Sadly so many are thats why assumptions are made

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It's an automatic assumption im afraid to say. Unless you put a specific reason as to why.

but its the wrong assumption and I dont need to justify my reasons just to get a meet. I just find it very judgemental

You're absolutely right mate

People who judge are the ones who hate being judged themselves

But what about those who judge those who judge, are they just as judgmental "

No not in the same nature. They were being impolite

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

look at it from the oppsite side,if a guy can accommodate its a pretty good guess that he is single and not playing away,its one way of being as sure as you can you are actually meeting a single guy If a guy has on his profile that he can't accommodate then we don't contact them,if they contact us we just politely point out we only meet guys who do accommodate,which is clearly written in our profile

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

In all this it amuses me how many say they by pass a guy if he can't accom but can't accom themselves.

Obviously guys at any age can't have kids,be not financially able to either own or rent or heaven forbid actually just not want strangers into their own houses.

None of the above applys to couples or single fems who are allowed not to accom for whatever reason they want and don't have to tell anyone why as others should just accept it.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"In all this it amuses me how many say they by pass a guy if he can't accom but can't accom themselves.

Obviously guys at any age can't have kids,be not financially able to either own or rent or heaven forbid actually just not want strangers into their own houses.

None of the above applys to couples or single fems who are allowed not to accom for whatever reason they want and don't have to tell anyone why as others should just accept it. "

If anybody asks why we can't accommodate we do tell them,but as our profile/ad says we will only meet guys who do surely the guys who can't ,assuming they can read,shouldn't even contact us,then they wouldn't take umbrage at being refused?

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By *iPeopleMan  over a year ago

London


"I just find it crazy that on a site like this there really are some seriously narrow minded individuals."

Like all religious people are kind and forgiving, psychiatrists are sane etc etc

Yeah it sucks but I'm coming to realise the dinosaurs just gotta be allowed to die. Its a generational thing and aint nothing you are going to do to change it. So lets stop griping and focus on the nicer ones!

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By *eddonistikMan  over a year ago

Manchester


"In all this it amuses me how many say they by pass a guy if he can't accom but can't accom themselves.

Obviously guys at any age can't have kids,be not financially able to either own or rent or heaven forbid actually just not want strangers into their own houses.

None of the above applys to couples or single fems who are allowed not to accom for whatever reason they want and don't have to tell anyone why as others should just accept it.

If anybody asks why we can't accommodate we do tell them,but as our profile/ad says we will only meet guys who do surely the guys who can't ,assuming they can read,shouldn't even contact us,then they wouldn't take umbrage at being refused?"

Sadly it appears a lot of them can't read, some years ago you came to my place for a very enjoyable GB, (well I certainly enjoyed it,). I especially remember the tea and biscuit breaks However since then I've decided I'm definitely bi and though I can play straight when people want I respect what it says on your profile. The thing we experienced people discover is there are lot of idiots out there.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"In all this it amuses me how many say they by pass a guy if he can't accom but can't accom themselves.

Obviously guys at any age can't have kids,be not financially able to either own or rent or heaven forbid actually just not want strangers into their own houses.

None of the above applys to couples or single fems who are allowed not to accom for whatever reason they want and don't have to tell anyone why as others should just accept it. "

I pass non accommodating men by as I don't accommodate. Seems the sensible thing to do,especially in cold weather. Don't like freezing my butt off over the garages

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Regarding the house share... surely that depends who you are meeting? I get that a single guy or girl wouldn't want to bring a couple or group of people back.

But surely a single guy accommodating a single girl (and vice versa) is the same as picking someone up in a bar and taking them home. I refuse to believe that all the guys (and girls) who say they can't due to house share NEVER EVER bring members of the opposite sex home.

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By *eddonistikMan  over a year ago

Manchester


"Regarding the house share... surely that depends who you are meeting? I get that a single guy or girl wouldn't want to bring a couple or group of people back.

But surely a single guy accommodating a single girl (and vice versa) is the same as picking someone up in a bar and taking them home. I refuse to believe that all the guys (and girls) who say they can't due to house share NEVER EVER bring members of the opposite sex home."

Exactly my flat mates fucked other people so if I brought back the odd single woman, couple or Tgirl, why would they give a shit. I often introduced them, they were cool, it was MY sex life so why would they have a problem?

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By *iss_tressWoman  over a year ago

London


"Why is it that it is automatically assumed that singe guys that don't (not can't) accommodate are attached or married? Like everything on here people have a preference with very good reasons for it.

I got an insulting email about this very issue and I needed to rant!"

I've said before, if my ex-husband was on here he'd have "can't accommodate" on his profile and he's 100% single. He sold his house and moved into his mother's home. She died earlier this year and no way would he entertain in her home.

I don't think it means they're married, I simply refuse to allow anyone into my home who won't invite me to theirs!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"In all this it amuses me how many say they by pass a guy if he can't accom but can't accom themselves.

Obviously guys at any age can't have kids,be not financially able to either own or rent or heaven forbid actually just not want strangers into their own houses.

None of the above applys to couples or single fems who are allowed not to accom for whatever reason they want and don't have to tell anyone why as others should just accept it. "

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By *iewMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

My choice not to accommodate, no need for justification.....

I wouldn't ask them to justify if they can't....

we decide to meet elsewhere or not at all.

no fucking big drama

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By *iss_tressWoman  over a year ago

London


"I won't meet people who can't (or won't) accommodate. I dislike meeting in hotels and I won't have someone in my home who can't (or won't have me in theirs.

I make no assumptions to why they can't (or won't) accommodate but simply choose not to meet them"

100% this!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Unfortunately I can't accommodate at present as I lodge with a relative. I myself often get tarnished with the 'hubby/partner' playing away...

I do understand why people make that assumption but as I'm genuine I do find it annoying when basically being called a liar...

It goes with the territory so let it ride.... Thankfully there is a bountiful amount of people who are understanding....

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By *iss_tressWoman  over a year ago

London


"Well I don't understand why you woman would have been insulting to you OP

Unless !

She had it clearly put on her profile that she doesn't meet people who can't accommodate. Because it does get annoying being bombarded by messages from people when you have clearly put a preference on your profile. We get this from "straight" guys.

NO she didn't and it was a first message from her, she just laid into me

So you hadn't contacted her at all. She contacted you and in her first message bollocked you for not accommodating and accused you of being a lying cheating no damn good scumbag liar

yep pretty much

Well she's got a job and a half on her hands if she's policing the site like that lol. Good luck to her "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I do not assume a gent is attached purely based on him not being able to accommodate.

If I am interested in meeting him, then I shall look for other signs to establish if he is truly single and unattached.

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By *iss_tressWoman  over a year ago

London


"Regarding the house share... surely that depends who you are meeting? I get that a single guy or girl wouldn't want to bring a couple or group of people back.

But surely a single guy accommodating a single girl (and vice versa) is the same as picking someone up in a bar and taking them home. I refuse to believe that all the guys (and girls) who say they can't due to house share NEVER EVER bring members of the opposite sex home."

Because the simple truth is there are those that don't want swingers in their house!

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By *erendipity99Woman  over a year ago

Runcorn


"It's an automatic assumption im afraid to say. Unless you put a specific reason as to why.

but its the wrong assumption and I dont need to justify my reasons just to get a meet. I just find it very judgemental"

It may be a wrong assumption. However with so many men on here cheating on their partners you can surely see why people would think that way?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

If someone (male or female) can't accommodate, they cant accommodate, that is their choice. It is what it is!

Why should we point the finger and speculate? And as the OP experienced, should certainly not accuse blindly.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I cant accommodate, i say why on my profile.

I am a full time carer for my mum and dad, plus its their house not mine, i lodge with them.

The only time i can accommodate is for 2 hours on a friday evening when they go down the local pub.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

the thing is, people saying they wont meet mr/mrs X because they cant accommodate and they are suspected of being a cheat/liar, only becomes a problem when people post on the forums about it.

if we say no to a bloke, then what harm is done, apart from to his sensibilities?

he will move on to the next profile that takes his fancy, and possibly get a different answer, as will we, and maybe similar.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"the thing is, people saying they wont meet mr/mrs X because they cant accommodate and they are suspected of being a cheat/liar, only becomes a problem when people post on the forums about it.

if we say no to a bloke, then what harm is done, apart from to his sensibilities?

he will move on to the next profile that takes his fancy, and possibly get a different answer, as will we, and maybe similar."

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"the thing is, people saying they wont meet mr/mrs X because they cant accommodate and they are suspected of being a cheat/liar, only becomes a problem when people post on the forums about it.

if we say no to a bloke, then what harm is done, apart from to his sensibilities?

he will move on to the next profile that takes his fancy, and possibly get a different answer, as will we, and maybe similar."

Im not complaining, I couldn't care less but it was the abusive unprovoked email i got that made me rant.. amazing how the point of these forum posts get diluted

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"the thing is, people saying they wont meet mr/mrs X because they cant accommodate and they are suspected of being a cheat/liar, only becomes a problem when people post on the forums about it.

if we say no to a bloke, then what harm is done, apart from to his sensibilities?

he will move on to the next profile that takes his fancy, and possibly get a different answer, as will we, and maybe similar.

Im not complaining, I couldn't care less but it was the abusive unprovoked email i got that made me rant.. amazing how the point of these forum posts get diluted"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don't accommodate as I'm terrible at matching my soft furnishings and I would be destroyed if someone came to mine and said something derogatory about my cushions not matching my sofa!!!!!"

Sounds reasonable...i'll book us a night at The Hilton then

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Why is it that it is automatically assumed that singe guys that don't (not can't) accommodate are attached or married? Like everything on here people have a preference with very good reasons for it.

I got an insulting email about this very issue and I needed to rant!"

It is an assumption based on the fact that many men (and women) actually are married and cheating on here. If they have a genuine reason for not accomodating then they should have no reason for not stating as such in their profile to limit any suspicion from the wary and give others the ability to make an informed choice. As for the woman who mailed you, report, block, and put it down to experience, no-one has the right to abuse you on here, and who'd want to meet a person like that anyway x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

Im not complaining, I couldn't care less but it was the abusive unprovoked email i got that made me rant.. amazing how the point of these forum posts get diluted"

If you go back and read your original post you asked a question, the use of 'Why' at the start of a sentence generally signifies a question and you made complaint.

The solution to the complaint has been given as in use the report button and your question has been answered in depth by many posters.

The fact that you and a few others don't like the answer is quite clear however with the vast number of fakes and cheats on here that's how people choose to 'filter' and all the bleating in the world is not going to change that

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"In the current economic slump noone would ever share there house to make ends meet

Got to love the sarcasm!!!"

Me too!

There are a lot of reasons why people can't accommodate and if you like someone enough, there are loads of ways around it. Clubs, hotels, parties, whatever.

Unfortunately, Fabs is home to some of the most judgemental people in Britain today. It's one thing to assume you're married/attached if you can't accommodate but to write to the OP stating this with no proof?!

I rarely us this but...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"If someone (male or female) can't accommodate, they cant accommodate, that is their choice. It is what it is!

Why should we point the finger and speculate? And as the OP experienced, should certainly not accuse blindly."

Well done

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My choice not to accommodate, no need for justification.....

I wouldn't ask them to justify if they can't....

we decide to meet elsewhere or not at all.

no fucking big drama"

Yesssss

Unfortunately some people thrive on drama. We could assume that those querying are the defiant ones

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By *ensual temptressWoman  over a year ago

Southampton

This is a mine field !! some people who don't accomm are cheating some aren't . Like wise some people who do accom are cheating also and some arent .plenty of times ive received a message from a guy who accomms asking to meet between a certain time .when I ask why with in that certain time I get told "oh the wife and kids are out shopping ...."

also their are people who state they don't accomm ,and after one replie from me saying not what im after they suddenly do accomm.They say they just don't want to accomm everyone .Which is of course totally their right ,but why then offer to accom after one message exchanged lol !

so I certainly don't assume a guys cheating because they don't accomm I just choose not to meet them as does fit what im looking for . Its just a shame that some of the same people who don't accom who exspect people to respect that ,don't then respect that some people wont then meet them .Many time I get the follow up messages what about out door or hotel ect ect .So can work both ways

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

No i don't mean those that wont meet because i cant accom (as well as a host of other reasons) i mean those that instantly assume im cheating are narrow minded.

And yes i have pretty rigorous checks lol"

Someone already said 99% of those asked why they don't accommodate are married, that leaves 1% of which 50% are married and lying, and you are already in the position of being the majority chasing the minority... Just post your reason by message or profile some may believe you are in the honest half of 1% and you may get lucky, ranting is not going to help at all

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

No i don't mean those that wont meet because i cant accom (as well as a host of other reasons) i mean those that instantly assume im cheating are narrow minded.

And yes i have pretty rigorous checks lol

Someone already said 99% of those asked why they don't accommodate are married, that leaves 1% of which 50% are married and lying, and you are already in the position of being the majority chasing the minority... Just post your reason by message or profile some may believe you are in the honest half of 1% and you may get lucky, ranting is not going to help at all"

99%

Sorry, who said that?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

No i don't mean those that wont meet because i cant accom (as well as a host of other reasons) i mean those that instantly assume im cheating are narrow minded.

And yes i have pretty rigorous checks lol

Someone already said 99% of those asked why they don't accommodate are married, that leaves 1% of which 50% are married and lying, and you are already in the position of being the majority chasing the minority... Just post your reason by message or profile some may believe you are in the honest half of 1% and you may get lucky, ranting is not going to help at all

99%

Sorry, who said that?"

they did, just there

you even quoted it lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

No i don't mean those that wont meet because i cant accom (as well as a host of other reasons) i mean those that instantly assume im cheating are narrow minded.

And yes i have pretty rigorous checks lol

Someone already said 99% of those asked why they don't accommodate are married, that leaves 1% of which 50% are married and lying, and you are already in the position of being the majority chasing the minority... Just post your reason by message or profile some may believe you are in the honest half of 1% and you may get lucky, ranting is not going to help at all

99%

Sorry, who said that?

they did, just there

you even quoted it lol"

No they stated someone else said it. Well that's how I read it.

Either way...99%. Really?!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"99%

Sorry, who said that?"

8th Post from the top

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By *iss_tressWoman  over a year ago

London


" Its just a shame that some of the same people who don't accom who exspect people to respect that ,don't then respect that some people wont then meet them .Many time I get the follow up messages what about out door or hotel ect ect .So can work both ways "

My personal bête noire!

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By *uriouscouple34Couple  over a year ago

sunderland


"Said this before but having played with FB's once and realised the hurt we were causing to 2 innocent unknowing victims we vowed never knowingly to do it again.

We use the yard stick that not being able to accom probably equates to cheating.

We know there are some genuine reasons for not being able to accom but we are also old enough and daft enough to know people lie.

Not very scientific we know but it works for us "

Even genuine couples find it hard to accommodate. Unfortunately we have 3 children and it's very rare we have all 3 of them out of the house at the same time. Even when by some minor miracle we're child free we live in a little square where everyone knows everyone else's family and friends and strangers are noticed.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Said this before but having played with FB's once and realised the hurt we were causing to 2 innocent unknowing victims we vowed never knowingly to do it again.

We use the yard stick that not being able to accom probably equates to cheating.

We know there are some genuine reasons for not being able to accom but we are also old enough and daft enough to know people lie.

Not very scientific we know but it works for us

Even genuine couples find it hard to accommodate. Unfortunately we have 3 children and it's very rare we have all 3 of them out of the house at the same time. Even when by some minor miracle we're child free we live in a little square where everyone knows everyone else's family and friends and strangers are noticed."

tbf, i think couples get some leeway with the accommodating thing lol

not like you are cheating with each other with other people

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

We all know there are many married men and women on here. Some of us dont want to meet anyone married, myself included, so I always ask why cant accommodate.

Mine says I cant either but I do explain that I live where I work and am NOT married.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It's an automatic assumption im afraid to say. Unless you put a specific reason as to why.

but its the wrong assumption and I dont need to justify my reasons just to get a meet. I just find it very judgemental

I don't assume they are married but will ask why someone cant accomodate, 99% answers are married or in relationships, with very very few stating other reasons such as house share, prefer not to have strangers in house etc, so can see why many junp to the conclussion"

Ah there you are.

99%?!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

There are those on here who are not swingers.

Real swingers are not interested in your life story

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By *iss_tressWoman  over a year ago

London


"There are those on here who are not swingers.

Real swingers are not interested in your life story "

I think you mean there are people who will fuck anything as long as their sacs get emptied and their itch scratched.

...then there's the discerning!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"There are those on here who are not swingers.

Real swingers are not interested in your life story "

so what are you?

if you are discussing REAL swingers, then that is wife swapping, so where is your wife to swap?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Why is it that it is automatically assumed that singe guys that don't (not can't) accommodate are attached or married? Like everything on here people have a preference with very good reasons for it.

I got an insulting email about this very issue and I needed to rant!"

I get those kind of messages from people who just assume without asking. They should grow up

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Why is it that it is automatically assumed that singe guys that don't (not can't) accommodate are attached or married? Like everything on here people have a preference with very good reasons for it.

I got an insulting email about this very issue and I needed to rant!

I get those kind of messages from people who just assume without asking. They should grow up"

So why can't you accommodate ?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I don't assume that guys who can't accomodate are married.

I assume that guys who can only accomodate between 8-5 daytime and never evenings or weekends are though.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It's an automatic assumption im afraid to say. Unless you put a specific reason as to why.

but its the wrong assumption and I dont need to justify my reasons just to get a meet. I just find it very judgemental

I don't assume they are married but will ask why someone cant accomodate, 99% answers are married or in relationships, with very very few stating other reasons such as house share, prefer not to have strangers in house etc, so can see why many junp to the conclussion

Ah there you are.

99%?! "

Prove it

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

I get those kind of messages from people who just assume without asking. They should grow up"

Grow up, that's a bit pot and kettle is it not?

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By *ENDAROOSCouple  over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

[Removed by poster at 10/10/13 15:57:28]

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By *ENDAROOSCouple  over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

We don't assume that just because a single male can't or chooses not to accomodate that he is married or cheating.

I can think of a few reasons off the top of my head, why they might not...all of the reasons could apply to single women too.

Wonder how many people jump to conclusions and assume the same of single women who can't accomodate

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"We don't assume that just because a single male can't or chooses not to accomodate that he is married or cheating.

I can think of a few reasons off the top of my head, why they might not...all of the reasons could apply to single women too.

Wonder how many people jump to conclusions and assume the same of single women who can't accomodate"

Seeing as i'm not looking to meet guys, it doesn't affect me at all. But with women that can't accommodate, i just assume they have their reasons not to. Either they have kids at home, staying with family, don't like strangers in their home or even the dreaded, married n playing away. We won't know until we ask.

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By *uby0000Woman  over a year ago

hertfordshire

its a bit difficult if both cant accommodate.. maybe the man don't want to wash the sheets lol a lot of men prefer to meet at the womans place I have found

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"its a bit difficult if both cant accommodate.. maybe the man don't want to wash the sheets lol a lot of men prefer to meet at the womans place I have found "

I actually prefer to meet at my place. Maybe cos i'm a lazy bastard!

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By *uby0000Woman  over a year ago

hertfordshire


"its a bit difficult if both cant accommodate.. maybe the man don't want to wash the sheets lol a lot of men prefer to meet at the womans place I have found

I actually prefer to meet at my place. Maybe cos i'm a lazy bastard! "

bet you don't wash the sheets then!!! lol

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By *inaTitzTV/TS  over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

If someone can't accommodate it's there business.

I do take exception when someone tries to find a loophole in your 'can't accommodate', by giving you 20 questions and scenarios.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"its a bit difficult if both cant accommodate.. maybe the man don't want to wash the sheets lol a lot of men prefer to meet at the womans place I have found

I actually prefer to meet at my place. Maybe cos i'm a lazy bastard!

bet you don't wash the sheets then!!! lol"

Every 4th sunday! Whether they need changed or not! I'm fastidious that way!

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By *empting Devil.Woman  over a year ago

Sheffield


"If someone can't accommodate it's there business.

I do take exception when someone tries to find a loophole in your 'can't accommodate', by giving you 20 questions and scenarios. "

Especially when they're trying to deflect attention from the fact they're paranoid about meeting for coffee in a public place by suggesting that I'm not really single cos I won't give my address out to randoms off the internet!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Children

Military

Living with Parents (divorced etc..)

House in poor state of repair

Ex Wife/Husband still in house

Few genuine reasons for either sex that I've encountered

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By *ittenandthepirateCouple  over a year ago

Manchester


"It's an automatic assumption im afraid to say. Unless you put a specific reason as to why.

but its the wrong assumption and I dont need to justify my reasons just to get a meet. I just find it very judgemental"

People filtering on fab is like inter_iew filtering in many ways. Some people get so many messages every day that they feel the need to make judgments to create a manageable shortlist. Unfortunately that can mean false judgments get made a lot. You have to take that on the chin though

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It's an automatic assumption im afraid to say. Unless you put a specific reason as to why.

but its the wrong assumption and I dont need to justify my reasons just to get a meet. I just find it very judgemental

I don't assume they are married but will ask why someone cant accomodate, 99% answers are married or in relationships, with very very few stating other reasons such as house share, prefer not to have strangers in house etc, so can see why many junp to the conclussion

Ah there you are.

99%?!

Prove it "

Easy look in my inbox

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By *ugby 123Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

Funnily enough no one has ever asked why we wouldn't accomodate after asking if we did.

For us, we never assume people are married if they don't accommodate as there could be lots of reasons why and none of them need explaining to us as strangers just like we don't feel the need to explain if we didn't want to accommodate.

We do do our own checks to see if we think men are attached or not but they are a few different things rather than us dismissing someone for one thing.

We would have missed out on some good meets if we had done that

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"well, im sorry, but for us it is the first indicator of a married/cheating PERSON (not man, or woman, as we dont differenciate and we dont play with either that has a partner unaware)

not only that, but even if those that we were conversing with said they just dont want strangers in their house, then why should we invite those strangers into our house?

do they deem their marital home more worthy than others?

absolutely agree, having kids at home is a very valid reason for not accommodating, but its not our fault you have kids, like its not your fault there are so many lying fekkers that mean people have to use their own set of preferences to avoid people they would rather not meet.

And everyone is entitled to their opinion, what annoys me is when they instantly throw their assumption at you. Not accommodating does not necessarily mean cheating (albeit i'm sure a lot of cases it does)"
it does in my case

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don't accommodate as I'm terrible at matching my soft furnishings and I would be destroyed if someone came to mine and said something derogatory about my cushions not matching my sofa!!!!!"

I'm also heavily into taxidermy and my house is just full of freshly stuffed beaver. Some people find it offensive.

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By *lackMetalMan  over a year ago

Centre


"It's an automatic assumption im afraid to say. Unless you put a specific reason as to why.

but its the wrong assumption and I dont need to justify my reasons just to get a meet. I just find it very judgemental

Yes your right, it is the wrong assumption and you dont need to justify your reasons. Unfortunately, there is a very large population of women on the site who will not trust a man over a certain age who does not accommodate because they think he is playing away without permission.

Because heaven forbid guys over a certain age might be single parents themselves

I personally don't accomodate because I don't want guys I don''t know in my house where personal effects such as pictures of my daughter are on walls, but I have no problem telling people reason why if they ask.

exactly the same reasons.. but i will happily answer them if they ask but most just make an assumption, they get blocked so neither of us bother each other again

And that's the best way. Like I mentioned I don't accom, and men assume I'm married, so not just women making assumptions. If guy doesn't like fact I don't accom, he can do one as far as I am concerned, as plenty out their that aren't judgemental, and accept reasons given.

I just find it crazy that on a site like this there really are some seriously narrow minded individuals."

Tell me about it. Swinging is not an open minded thing as presumed. Guess it's a subset of the world we live in.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Why is it that it is automatically assumed that singe guys that don't (not can't) accommodate are attached or married? Like everything on here people have a preference with very good reasons for it.

I got an insulting email about this very issue and I needed to rant!"

Perhaps there's a solution to this problem. My case is that I can accommodate, and I do ... for Meets where I'm happy to do so. But ... its really important that I am sure that its the right thing to do, as I've had some past Meets where it definitely wasn't, in retrospect. Nowadays, I'm very careful who I invite to my apartment. My feeling is that a first Meet should always take place away from everyone's home. Not at mine, not at their's. Instead, at a hotel, where we can all assess each other, and pretty much determine that other Meets will take place, and that we're all happy to hold them at our respective homes. To me, that is fair and reasonable. I wouldn't ever expect a single swinger or a swinger couple to invite me to their home for a first Meet, and reciprocally I wouldn't expect them to insist on a first Meet at my place. Its a strange world, so be sensible. Coming back to your profile, state that you can accommodate, and if you do find a swinging scenario thats attractive, discuss the first Meet rationale thats best for all concerned. I've never had a couple or a single take offence at our first Meet being at a hotel. Good swinging, and good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don't accommodate as I'm terrible at matching my soft furnishings and I would be destroyed if someone came to mine and said something derogatory about my cushions not matching my sofa!!!!!

I'm also heavily into taxidermy and my house is just full of freshly stuffed beaver. Some people find it offensive."

Haha great

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I have found that 99.9% of men who contact me and cant accomadate are actually married or live with a long term partner !"

You've only had ONE meet ... surely not

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By *uby0000Woman  over a year ago

hertfordshire


"I cant accommodate, i say why on my profile.

I am a full time carer for my mum and dad, plus its their house not mine, i lodge with them.

The only time i can accommodate is for 2 hours on a friday evening when they go down the local pub."

can you not get help to look after them?

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By *eddonistikMan  over a year ago

Manchester

I'm lucky I can accommodate no problem, whenever I'm seeing someone I'm honest with them and they know that I like to play. If they want to play together with me at times great, I'm also quite happy if they want to play on their own. I'd rather live my sex / love life openly and honestly, I find it easier.

However if someone is married and or in relationship and wants to have fun with me without the other person knowing? That is surely up to them and the way way they feel about their relationship. They will have their own reasons for wanting 'secret' fun outside of the relationship, maybe family, maybe financial etc, but essentially buggar all to do with me?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

My profile says 'can't accommodate'

.... And I am very, very not married.

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By *iss_tressWoman  over a year ago

London


"I'm lucky I can accommodate no problem, whenever I'm seeing someone I'm honest with them and they know that I like to play. If they want to play together with me at times great, I'm also quite happy if they want to play on their own. I'd rather live my sex / love life openly and honestly, I find it easier.

However if someone is married and or in relationship and wants to have fun with me without the other person knowing? That is surely up to them and the way way they feel about their relationship. They will have their own reasons for wanting 'secret' fun outside of the relationship, maybe family, maybe financial etc, but essentially buggar all to do with me? "

It has bugger all to do with me when a married man comes into MY home and asks if I would shower in a specific soap (he's bought with him) as it's the one his wife uses, ask me not to wear perfume...in MY house, ask I don't mark...I could go on!

The good thing is the way i play, which is clear from my profile (when visible) allows married men to exclude themselves!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I cant accommodate, i say why on my profile.

I am a full time carer for my mum and dad, plus its their house not mine, i lodge with them.

The only time i can accommodate is for 2 hours on a friday evening when they go down the local pub.

can you not get help to look after them?"

Only financially, they dont qualify for home care cos they are mobile and cogniscent.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I wouldn't take can't accommodate in isolation to mean cheating. But when a profile shares that with no face pictures, or a desire for daytime meets or the overuse of the word discreet then it does start to paint a picture.

And unfortunately there are so many single man on here who are playing away and for whom can't accommodateIis a recurring theme thentthis is one of the few things where "they ruin it for the good guys" does have an element of truth"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm lucky I can accommodate no problem, whenever I'm seeing someone I'm honest with them and they know that I like to play. If they want to play together with me at times great, I'm also quite happy if they want to play on their own. I'd rather live my sex / love life openly and honestly, I find it easier.

However if someone is married and or in relationship and wants to have fun with me without the other person knowing? That is surely up to them and the way way they feel about their relationship. They will have their own reasons for wanting 'secret' fun outside of the relationship, maybe family, maybe financial etc, but essentially buggar all to do with me? "

absolutely bugger all to do with you, until her hubby follows her one day, to your doorstep, and your neighbours find out your banging the arse off a married woman, and her husband is happy to kick the shite out of you over your front hedge lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I'm lucky I can accommodate no problem, whenever I'm seeing someone I'm honest with them and they know that I like to play. If they want to play together with me at times great, I'm also quite happy if they want to play on their own. I'd rather live my sex / love life openly and honestly, I find it easier.

However if someone is married and or in relationship and wants to have fun with me without the other person knowing? That is surely up to them and the way way they feel about their relationship. They will have their own reasons for wanting 'secret' fun outside of the relationship, maybe family, maybe financial etc, but essentially buggar all to do with me?

absolutely bugger all to do with you, until her hubby follows her one day, to your doorstep, and your neighbours find out your banging the arse off a married woman, and her husband is happy to kick the shite out of you over your front hedge lol"

Really?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

However if someone is married and or in relationship and wants to have fun with me without the other person knowing? That is surely up to them and the way way they feel about their relationship. They will have their own reasons for wanting 'secret' fun outside of the relationship, maybe family, maybe financial etc, but essentially buggar all to do with me? "

As this thread and many others show some people are happy to play with married people along the lines you suggest, 'fuck all to do with me'

Others however think differently, think with their conscience, wonder what pain they might be contributing to and know how hurt they would be if it happened to them.

Those people will not play with cheats and will use what ever tools that are available to avoid them. The single guy not able to accom=cheat is just one option, not very scientific but 99.9% effective

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Children

Military

Living with Parents (divorced etc..)

House in poor state of repair

Ex Wife/Husband still in house

Few genuine reasons for either sex that I've encountered "

Absolutely but how truthfully were the excuses given, I mean it's not as if folks on here lie and cheat at all is it

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