FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > discreet. discretion. .right?
discreet. discretion. .right?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've found that some of the ladies on here would like to meet in public first! I understand that its about safety. how is this being discreet? you hide ur faces so none of ur "freinds" know what ur up to..but want to come to my town and not be discreet hmmm this doesn't work for me? what do some of you think on this matter? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There's nothing indiscreet about two people meeting for a coffee. There's no need for anyone to talk openly about fucking each other's brains out, you can have a quiet, discreet conversation to see if you fancy each other - in a public place where you'll both be safe and, just add important, FEEL safe. |
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You can still be discreet in a public place - it depends what they mean by discretion, they might just not want want you texting or calling all day, plastering pictures all over Facebook/twitter or declaring your latest conquest to your mates.
It sounds perfectly logical to me to be honest. If you have your doubts, then there is an easy option for you. |
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makes perfect sense to me. Just because the local is a public place such as a bar or coffee shop does not mean you are advertising that you met on a swingers site ...i dont understand what not discreet about it ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You can be very discreet in public if you behave in an appropriate way, we are a couple and we would never consider anything but a public meet the first time  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always insist on a social meet for two reasons.
1. To ensure chemistry
2. I would never turn up at someones house for sex or have them to mine before checking they have social skills.
The safety aspect comes without saying.
I would seriously hate to invite someone round only to find we are not compatiable sexually and then have the need to ask them to leave.
Common sense prevails and has never let me down. |
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A public meet is very important for a lady to feel safe. It is also discreet, no one watching would be aware of previous conversations you have had or think that you were anything more than friends. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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unless you dont know how to behave in a social setting
or have someone that you REALLY dont want to see you having a coffee with someone else (say a wife or girlfriend) then there is nothing indescreet about having a drink with someone.
if you are single, then surely its expected for you to meet with women sometimes, and can be passed off as a date, so whats the worry?
and who says it has to be your town? an ajoining town can be just as well, as long as its a public place for everyones safety, not just hers (many mental women around as well as men) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"unless you dont know how to behave in a social setting
or have someone that you REALLY dont want to see you having a coffee with someone else (say a wife or girlfriend) then there is nothing indescreet about having a drink with someone.
if you are single, then surely its expected for you to meet with women sometimes, and can be passed off as a date, so whats the worry?
and who says it has to be your town? an ajoining town can be just as well, as long as its a public place for everyones safety, not just hers (many mental women around as well as men)"
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I understand all that! I have a lady friend that I showed this site to and she loves it!! but she wont be cought walking with someone under 6foot in public! I live in a little town where pretty much everyone knows my name or they know of me as the "black American" lol if im seen with any lady of any age size or color (colour) I would then be the talk of the town... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"unless you dont know how to behave in a social setting
or have someone that you REALLY dont want to see you having a coffee with someone else (say a wife or girlfriend) then there is nothing indescreet about having a drink with someone.
if you are single, then surely its expected for you to meet with women sometimes, and can be passed off as a date, so whats the worry?
and who says it has to be your town? an ajoining town can be just as well, as long as its a public place for everyones safety, not just hers (many mental women around as well as men)"
if I wanted a date, I would use pof lol this site is more for exploring with like minded people |
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"I understand all that! I have a lady friend that I showed this site to and she loves it!! but she wont be cought walking with someone under 6foot in public! I live in a little town where pretty much everyone knows my name or they know of me as the "black American" lol if im seen with any lady of any age size or color (colour) I would then be the talk of the town..."
Ipswich is only up the road from where you are, thats a bigger place and nobody there would care if they saw you or not - just a thought |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I live in a little town where pretty much everyone knows my name or they know of me as the "black American" lol if im seen with any lady of any age size or color (colour) I would then be the talk of the town..."
Well let them bloody talk, if they see you having a drink with a lady so what? if they want to gossip and make assumptions then they clearly have nothing better to do with their lives.
I lived in a tiny village and had a few drinks with dates in my local pub, nobody talked or even battered an eye lid. I'm a single female so was pretty normal. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"unless you dont know how to behave in a social setting
or have someone that you REALLY dont want to see you having a coffee with someone else (say a wife or girlfriend) then there is nothing indescreet about having a drink with someone.
if you are single, then surely its expected for you to meet with women sometimes, and can be passed off as a date, so whats the worry?
and who says it has to be your town? an ajoining town can be just as well, as long as its a public place for everyones safety, not just hers (many mental women around as well as men) if I wanted a date, I would use pof lol this site is more for exploring with like minded people"
you really have missed the point of my post.
i said, having a coffee with a woman, in a cafe/restaurant, will be seen as nothing more than a date.
no one except you and her know the real reason for any liason.
if you are that worried by your notoriety (and tbf, much like those that say they cant put pics up because of their jobs, you may be overstating your popularity in your immediate area) then meet in the next town. |
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"There's nothing indiscreet about two people meeting for a coffee. There's no need for anyone to talk openly about fucking each other's brains out, you can have a quiet, discreet conversation to see if you fancy each other - in a public place where you'll both be safe and, just add important, FEEL safe. "
^^^^This! Don't see what's so hard to understand! |
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"makes perfect sense to me. Just because the local is a public place such as a bar or coffee shop does not mean you are advertising that you met on a swingers site ...i dont understand what not discreet about it ?"
Lost me too. |
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"I always insist on a social meet for two reasons.
1. To ensure chemistry
2. I would never turn up at someones house for sex or have them to mine before checking they have social skills.
The safety aspect comes without saying.
I would seriously hate to invite someone round only to find we are not compatiable sexually and then have the need to ask them to leave.
Common sense prevails and has never let me down."
...and this! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" if I wanted a date, I would use pof lol this site is more for exploring with like minded people"
Being seen out and about with a PoF contact is acceptable but someone from Fab is not, sorry but Logic is not strong here.
In the 14 years we have been playing meeting on neutral ground to consider how to move things forward has never once been questioned, in fact its considered the most sensible, safe and practical option by everyone we have ever met.
There is a huge clue there |
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"I understand all that! I have a lady friend that I showed this site to and she loves it!! but she wont be cought walking with someone under 6foot in public! I live in a little town where pretty much everyone knows my name or they know of me as the "black American" lol if im seen with any lady of any age size or color (colour) I would then be the talk of the town..."
There's something wrong with her. Sexually I prefer men over 6ft and I'm straight but I have friends of different heights, weight, sex I walk down the street with, blimey I travel into work with my friend, we hold hands, he's an albino and walks with a white stick, I don't assume people think we're fuck buddies! 
Some people really have a strange way at looking at things! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" if I wanted a date, I would use pof lol this site is more for exploring with like minded people
Being seen out and about with a PoF contact is acceptable but someone from Fab is not, sorry but Logic is not strong here.
In the 14 years we have been playing meeting on neutral ground to consider how to move things forward has never once been questioned, in fact its considered the most sensible, safe and practical option by everyone we have ever met.
There is a huge clue there "
Here here I totally agree |
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" if I wanted a date, I would use pof lol this site is more for exploring with like minded people
Being seen out and about with a PoF contact is acceptable but someone from Fab is not, sorry but Logic is not strong here.
In the 14 years we have been playing meeting on neutral ground to consider how to move things forward has never once been questioned, in fact its considered the most sensible, safe and practical option by everyone we have ever met.
There is a huge clue there "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" if I wanted a date, I would use pof lol this site is more for exploring with like minded people
Being seen out and about with a PoF contact is acceptable but someone from Fab is not, sorry but Logic is not strong here.
In the 14 years we have been playing meeting on neutral ground to consider how to move things forward has never once been questioned, in fact its considered the most sensible, safe and practical option by everyone we have ever met.
There is a huge clue there "
And how would anyone you were meeting someone from Fab or PoF or Match.com or Friends Reunited if you don't go advertising the fact? |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"I understand all that! I have a lady friend that I showed this site to and she loves it!! but she wont be cought walking with someone under 6foot in public! I live in a little town where pretty much everyone knows my name or they know of me as the "black American" lol if im seen with any lady of any age size or color (colour) I would then be the talk of the town..."
I wouldn't let it bother you, unless of course you are married and don't want your wife knowing.
When meet our playmates in a pub round the corner, the bar manager always seems to be there and I think has cottoned on as to what we doing as he makes comments now when the OH goes to the bar...we don't care. It is our life and we do what we want with it.
I am secretly hoping he wants a threesome as he is a hunk  |
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" I live in a little town where pretty much everyone knows my name or they know of me as the "black American" lol if im seen with any lady of any age size or color (colour) I would then be the talk of the town...
"
sounds like a very odd town you live in. I cant imagine how the conversations would go as it seems like such a non event to me .. a man sitting in a coffee shop chatting to a lady ! |
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