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Couples, how did you set your boundary's?
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By *eeaj OP Couple
over a year ago
derby |
Good afternoon, my partner and myself were talking about how every couple is different and how we all have different boundary's.
What I'm inquisitive to see is how you came about setting them?
Have any of you had any situations were one of you wants something but the other isn't comfy with it or not ready yet? And how did you come to a compromise if you didn't both agree on something?
I do find other peoples boundary's fascinating, from soft swap couples to couple that won't allowed oral etc.
Fire away!
Dee xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we talked about what we were comfortble with and that set the bar! since then we have snapped the bar in two and got on with it!!! boundrys,,, such a distant memory lol! |
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when we talked about sarting swinging we discussed everything we thought might happen and set boundaries accordingly, when we actually started to meet we realised that some of those boundaries didn't apply and that some things we thought we'd be ok with we actually weren't, we constantly reassess and revise what our limits are.
One thing though there is no compromise, if one of us doesn't want to do something neither of us does, this isn't the type of activity where one of you can be less keen than the other on something in our opinion although we're happy to give new things a go. |
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By *eeaj OP Couple
over a year ago
derby |
"when we talked about sarting swinging we discussed everything we thought might happen and set boundaries accordingly, when we actually started to meet we realised that some of those boundaries didn't apply and that some things we thought we'd be ok with we actually weren't, we constantly reassess and revise what our limits are.
One thing though there is no compromise, if one of us doesn't want to do something neither of us does, this isn't the type of activity where one of you can be less keen than the other on something in our opinion although we're happy to give new things a go."
Yeah that seems fair  |
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By *eeaj OP Couple
over a year ago
derby |
"What is the point of being on a swinging site and say no to oral BIG mistake "
Like I said everyone is different, we have met a couple socially that the woman didn't want another woman giving her partner oral. That was their only boundary. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"when we talked about sarting swinging we discussed everything we thought might happen and set boundaries accordingly, when we actually started to meet we realised that some of those boundaries didn't apply and that some things we thought we'd be ok with we actually weren't, we constantly reassess and revise what our limits are.
One thing though there is no compromise, if one of us doesn't want to do something neither of us does, this isn't the type of activity where one of you can be less keen than the other on something in our opinion although we're happy to give new things a go."
totally this!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For us its quite simple, we see it as for any one situation we have 4 possible outcomes :
1 - he likes & she dont
2 - she likes & he dont
3 - he doesnt like and she doesnt like
4 - he likes and she likes
out of the four theres only one that means we go with it. its only if we're both in agreement that we go ahead as i'd hate to ruin a good relationship just for a bit of fun, well it works for us anyway ! |
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By *eeaj OP Couple
over a year ago
derby |
"For us its quite simple, we see it as for any one situation we have 4 possible outcomes :
1 - he likes & she dont
2 - she likes & he dont
3 - he doesnt like and she doesnt like
4 - he likes and she likes
out of the four theres only one that means we go with it. its only if we're both in agreement that we go ahead as i'd hate to ruin a good relationship just for a bit of fun, well it works for us anyway !"
agreed |
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"What is the point of being on a swinging site and say no to oral BIG mistake "
I say no to receiving oral, it's not something I enjoy. I don't believe I'm making a mistake not to do something I don't enjoy. |
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The point is ...... personal choice, nobody has the right to say who and who should not be here, nobody has the right to question peoples boundaries, nobody has the right to question the age criteria you have on your profile though some might think that your missing out on a lot of fun it is your criteria and your entitled to it.
To question it would be wrong just as you are wrong to question anybody else on what they decide is for them. |
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By *eeaj OP Couple
over a year ago
derby |
"The point is ...... personal choice, nobody has the right to say who and who should not be here, nobody has the right to question peoples boundaries, nobody has the right to question the age criteria you have on your profile though some might think that your missing out on a lot of fun it is your criteria and your entitled to it.
To question it would be wrong just as you are wrong to question anybody else on what they decide is for them."
Is this at me? I'm not questioning what is right or wrong for people I am asking how they came about deciding their own boundary's. It's nice to see how other couples swing etc. just being social. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think the key is communication. When we decided to give swinging a go we discussed what we would be comfortable watch the other do. Originally it was no kissing but that's gone out the window. When we arrange meet we discuss boundaries with who we are meeting to ensure no awkwardness on the day. |
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we talked about it for months before we swung/swang/swinged |(hee hee), we discussed our concerns then set our boundaries/rules around these, and everything has been plain sailing. As said earlier communication is vital, we always discuss and therefore boundaries change. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we don't really set them. apart from pee poo and pain, we go with the floor, unless one of us isn't happy bout something,,,even them its an experience you tried but wouldn't do sgain, if we meet the right couple then it can be the most adventurous meet evet, a team effirt.
if something happened one of us didn't enjoy wed wait til after when wed disuss it we talk about it and don't do it again. least we know tho x |
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